The Valet Asked My Husband a Question, and I DIDN'T Like It
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- Опубліковано 12 бер 2024
- So tonight on our #BedtimeConversations … my husband and I went to dinner at the Linden in Los Angeles and had a lovely evening (shout out to the good brother Steelo Brim who is part owner, also the snapper and lobster are 🔥).
On our way out, the valet asked my husband a question and I didn’t like it. Drop a comment below to let us know what you think!
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Award-winning journalist and culture critic Jemele Hill interviews the most compelling figures in news, pop culture, politics and sports. Expect unbothered and unfiltered conversations.
Both of you have a point. I think the fact that he asked for advice showed respect
The “Any Advice?” part of the question makes it a more benign interaction. Your husband’s response was perfection.
Any advice could be used to throw off the fact that the question was racist.
Both yall right
I agree with Jemele because it was none of that person’s business!!
I’m with Jemel on this one. People always ask what you do when you seat in first class or in the same upscale restaurant they’re in. Like you’re not supposed to be there
Exactly!
Totally agree 💯
No you were not being presumptious. I would get the same question. We lived in an afluent city and if i was at Target at 11:00 am more times than not i would get asked what do you do? But my friend "Becky" who was 10 yrs younger would never get asked. Why? Because she is supposed to be a stay at home mom, not me. Youre right again., Jemele. But i love Ian's optimistic pov.
That is a legit gripe to have with the valet.
Leave that boy alone. We can’t help what we think but we can help each other think better. You gon’ find yourself upset over everything when people mean no harm. Perspective is everything.
I think you’re both right. They guy may have been outwardly friendly, and he also may have been asking from a place of prejudice. I do NOT think you are too sensitive in this situation. 🖤
He wanted to see if you were a pro athlete or a rapper is what it sounds like.
First and foremost; the valet had no business asking the patron ANYTHING that doesn't pertain to doing fulfilling the task he is paid to do.Ms.Hill is 100% CORRECT!🤨 PERIOD!!!
I have lived many years. Samething different day! Wife is correct they would not ask a successful white man.
You got that RIGHT!😏
Your husband’s default instinct seems to be one of taking things at face value. I respect that because trying to figure out other people’s intentions is too much of a burden to carry around.
I often get asked about my profession (because of my cars), and I particularly enjoy it when a young Black man inquires. When I tell him that I'm a lawyer, I can see his perspective broaden almost immediately. It's as if he suddenly realize the myriad possibilities in front of him. I usually offer my card and encourage him to reach out if he wants to chat over coffee or on Zoom and learn more about the legal profession. I don't mind it, and I think your husband was right. 😂
Once bitten, twice shy. Jemele, your valid stance has been informed by years of observation and/or experience. People always share their ignorance about unknown folk through compliments, questions and/or insults. In this case, however, I have to agree with your husband.. This valet brought the question back to himself and his desire, so he is in that luxury success headspace. For me, their exchange is an example leading to the “standing on the shoulders of …” statement.
I agree with Jemele 💯 The valet would not have asked; "what do you do or any advice" bs question if your husband was of a different race! 🤷🏽♀️
I understand you Jamele 💯. I think for black successful women the reason we process situations different is because of our many personal experiences. I also understand your husband seeing it as a compliment. Neither one of you are wrong, you both just have different perceptions regarding his comment. 💕💕
You trippin' Jemele, your husband handled it well
Hello
Fam.
Why would he ask that just do his job and stop sizing people up. I wonder if he asks everyone that same question 🤔
Tonight, I'm gonna go with Jamele
Like I said at the NOLA book festival, your hubby was spot on.
I'm agreeing with Jemele on this one.
This time I am going with the perspective of your husband. Since he was there at inception of the question, he say the guys vibe and sincerity in the question. Sometimes it's how the question is posed. Stay awesome and grounded as always :)
Depends on who's asking and how they're asking.
I'm with you Jemele!
I agree with your husband. When I worked as a customer service rep for an investment bank, I definitely wanted to ask some of them for advice, lol. That didn't seem appropriate because i was looking at their accounts, but I don't see an issue with a valet person doing it. Also, your husband probably seemed more personable than some of the other ppl that come through with nice cars.
I'm with Jemele.
Unfortunately, this happens to me all the time! I’ve actually respectfully called people out on it. I’m 6-3 230. While I played ball in college, I’ve been blessed to find professional success outside of sports, as an exec in Tech. Every time my wife and I go out and someone (valet or even other patrons) see the car we’re driving they automatically assume our success comes from me being an athlete. It’s alarming we’re still pigeonholed in 2024.
I love the gentlemen asked for advice. I think that drastically shifts the intent of his comment.
1st, I love seeing the 2 of u together! Something about Black love, unity that is phenomenal, but Jemel you are spot on! I see the contrasts daily, and I'm always asked those questions when others are not. Thanks for sharing!
I'm with Jemele. They wouldn't ask Billy that shit.
I AGREE WITH THE WIFE. IT HAPPENED TO ME AT A CHECKOUT WHILE PURCHASING BOOKS AT MARDEL'S CHRISTIAN STORE IN OKLAHOMA CITY 2005, I WAS QUESTIONED DID I GET MY TAXES, I WAS SHOCKED RECENTLY MOVED BACK TO OKLAHOMA FROM THE STATE OF COLORADO PASSING THROUGH LOUISIANA TO GET TO THIS. IT WAS RACIST, BUT IN THE 21ST CENTURY I WAS SHOCKED, WOE.
Hello Jemele, this is Kelley Carter cousin, we met years ago here in Atlanta.. Your Husband is right and I dont think the valet was wrong to ask... they might have seen the videos that I've seen too. There are You-tubers that ask that question to people everyday for us viewers and they get Thousands of views, I've seen them ask, What do you do for a living, What advise do you have for my viewers to make it, What credit card do you prefer to use and why, what HYSA do you use, or even what bank do you bank with...etc. I'm now a subscriber to your channel.
The flashy car made the valet ask that question.
Credentials! Always gotta ‘Black-splain’ how we got what we got, live where we live, eat where you eat! Just let us live like do you… always askin questions!!! Nun-Yo-Bitness what I do! I just DO! But he was cool about it…
Any advice gives a tone of trying to learn not jealousy.
Jemele you are over thinking this situation... people are always looking for a opportunity tip in this viral tech life.
Sometimes we project the worst in us onto others.
I'm rolling with the husband. I don't necessarily think the valet had any malicious intent in the question. He might have thought your husband was cool/relatable.
I like this conversation
I'm with ole dude on this one. The question "what you do" was to see if it's within the valet's wheelhouse. I understand the baggage we carry when we're successful but sometimes a duck is a duck.
You’re 💯% correct, Jamele.
I built a Bricolage down the street from Bricolage School formerly Known as John McDonough High School "John Mac"
He wouldn't have asked if he was white BUT if the valet is black he probably like I wonder what he does. And he would than go and research that occupation. Good job on being and inspiration Wood.🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Ooh this is tricky as you both posed great points. I loved your husband's response and the valet asking seemed respectful, if that were the case but at the same time it is true when folks can afford luxuries there is some underlying issue on someone else's mind of how you obtained it.
I remember once in the mid 90's I stayed at this really expensive hotel and I'm in the elevator and some other people got on she turns to me and asks oh do you play basketball. I shook my head and said no do you and commented wow guess we can only rap and play ball. I'm here because I work and can actually afford it. She turned red and shut her mouth.
J,I understand your point too the intent of asking feels like an underlying jab of some sorts.
What did Wood mean by telling the valet; "get a good woman in your life" for helping your realize your potential and goals; or to bankroll your materialism(sugarmomma)😂? Better said set goals and surround yourself with positive people who keep you focused, accountable, and responsible. 👏🏾🙏🏾✊🏾💪🏾
Two things can be true
Absolutely agree with Jemel nothing changes 🥴👁️👁️ They still don't believe Black People should have nice things or success and if so we didn't attain it on merit alone...
This Is a situation where you both could be right. I would have to hear how the question was asked. So, I believe he just wanted some advice. I did like your answer about getting a good woman. Especially when she Is a 49er fan!!
Too sensitive, he was right, if the valet was really interested then he would have asked for more info, or was happy y'all had it like that❤
Both answers were good, however I identify with Jemele’s response. I had an appliance delivery this past Tuesday and the guy who was installing the appliance told me I was well spoken and seemed educated. He asked what I did for a living. We just can’t be successful, there always has to be something else, as if we didn’t earn anything on our own.
There are UA-cam channels dedicated to that very question.
The answer to that question, flat out: "Thanks for my ride man, have a good night" cuz it aint none of your business how me and mine got ours. Periodt!! People stay trying to get in your business and can't mind their own. And I don't care how good the food was, I would never go back simply for the valet experience. Sorry. #Distasteful
Right! It's considered "normal." For any other race.
I think because he lead with the question of advice, it was not disrespectful. I think Jemel may be overthinking this one.
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What color was the Valet??????
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Hey Jemele
Lil Paris France 🇫🇷 aka New Orleans Treme' USA Orleans,France 🇫🇷
I love Lady J, but I’m siding with your hubby on this issue. ✊🏾💪🏾👊🏾
Im guessing the valet was white correct? Covert rascism is a trip I’m like Jemelle but my wife is white and she is less rascist than I am!
No! My husband is white and is always asked what he does for a living when people see his vehicles. People just wanna know how success happens so that they can join the club. Some of y’all are too race focused. Even if the valet was racist, unless he damages the vehicle, it ain’t ya husband’s business.
No that's something that the young folks do now. There's a guy on you tube that asks this of anyone.
Was dude white?
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He def asked the question bc he was a black man. Definitely stereotyping. Damn near a microaggression.
Sensitive ⁉️
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Sigh. This is starting to be like *"Hold Up with Josh Johnson and Dulce Sloan"* where no matter what they are discussing, Josh will have some interesting points, but he is ALWAYS WRONG. Sorry, Wood. I want to help a brothah out, but Jemele is 100% correct on this one (again). 🤣😅🤣😂 Ain't No Way the valet would ask that question to a white dude. He wouldn't ask it of a white woman either. Let me say this, *_because I am a big woman,_** I fly first class.* I have never even once seen a Black person walk on the plane, see me in that first seat, and look at me like, "WTF are YOU doing there?!" But MOST of the white ones (mostly the women) do that all the time. One, a woman who looked like she was in her 60's, so she was probably 24 (they age like bananas!), actually said Out Loud, "First class isn't what it used to be, huh?" Luckily for her, the BLACK flight attendant in first class immediately said to her, "Ma'am, do you need help finding your seat in the back?" I never forgot that and I wrote the most beautiful email to airlines afterward to compliment her and demand she get a raise!!!
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Unfortunately, without a more indepth conversation with the valet person, both perspectives are equally plausible. As such, it appears that each of you chose the side of the fence that aligns with personal experiences. I don't know about hubby, but wifey has been in a space where she has had to monitor people's words and behaviors closely because of their disdain with her being in the same circle, just as qualified, if not more, and just as deserving, if not more, than said peers. Having to analyze breeds suspicion. I, in that situation, would take it as a compliment, and offer a little advice, starting with be careful how you measure success, or what you think it looks like, always strive to be the best version of yourself, and get a good woman in your life!!!
You gotta consider how your Detroit upbringing impacts your interpretation. Sheet, a compliment could be a whole set-up. 😅
Way too sensitive. How old are you this ain't nothing new. Who cares what they think I made it that's all that matters
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The valet was definitely being nosey, but your husband never really answered the question, so he didn’t give him anything anyways.
Jemele Hill, for real 😏🤷♂️ the dude is employed as a valet car parking dude. And y'all roll up in a 100 or 200k vehicle... AYE how can I get to the YAM'S 😂🤔
You're being too sensitive.
what car though?
I think he was just asking on the level of how do I get there!