Proof Narcissist Knows What They are Doing

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  • Опубліковано 31 тра 2024
  • Book Your Seat: Workshop on Heal After Surviving a Narcissistic Parent www.emotionalabuserecovery.co...
    chapters
    00:00 introduction
    01:03 1.When they're out there having social encounters
    02:53 2.When they're in religious settings
    04:40 3.When they go to therapy
    06:57 4.When they have to show they're a family man
    08:43 5.When dealing with a legal situation

КОМЕНТАРІ • 231

  • @narcabusecoach
    @narcabusecoach  Місяць тому +6

    Book Your Seat: Workshop on Heal After Surviving a Narcissistic Parent www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/pna

    • @hamster8449
      @hamster8449 Місяць тому

      The fact is that I know exactly when and by whom the term narcissist began to be used. Who was called that and why. For example, there is the term steel, a more general metal, related terms are copper, cast iron, silver. There is a more general term beer, alcohol, related wine, vodka, liqueur. And the fact is that narcissist is also a term, but not a lonely one. This is one of their variants of human characteristics. There are several of these options. This is a slang name for one part of people, which is issued by another part of people. This is a specific situation, indicated by specific people. This is not a broad definition like good or evil. There is no huge range of conditions here. It's like, for example, determining what yellow is in a rainbow. You see. Therefore, the author had to give others besides one term. Here's the red color, wow the blue color, here's the green, that's what the rainbow is made of. Here's beer, here's wine, here's vodka, it's all alcohol. Naturally. What besides this is called narcissist, the author should have said, but this is called another word, and this is another word, and all together this is such an idea. Roughly speaking, the author talks about the yellow color all the time for many months or years, gives the yellow color the values of the sun, urine, gold, a madhouse, the flag of Germany, etc. But it says nothing about the rainbow and other colors. The author expresses his opinion without knowing where the term originated from or who used it at all. It's funny. It's funny that people are doing this at all. The author from a Muslim country has stirred up so many legends. He can't explain everything in any way

  • @dr.muhammadamin1554
    @dr.muhammadamin1554 Місяць тому +144

    Their every move is well planned and calculated. They know exactly where it can hurt the most. Never underestimate them.

    • @nicoloclemente6564
      @nicoloclemente6564 Місяць тому

      Yes. Pure evil. They should not exist.

    • @user-df3eo9qx9p
      @user-df3eo9qx9p Місяць тому +15

      Well said and very wise. I was always trying to predict his actions and behaviors in order to prepare myself to not be caught off guard. Very exhausting.

    • @FlowersAmazing
      @FlowersAmazing Місяць тому

      Pure evil...! They are demons!

    • @sandracrandall4561
      @sandracrandall4561 Місяць тому +5

      My X son in law who IS a Covert...posted on his Instagram profile...."Everything I say & do is calculated". He even email my daughter when he played the victim "I don't want to live w/o You..."don't worry Baby....I'm not suicidal...I'm homicidal ". So she contacted his ARMY CO worried because she hadn't yet figured out he's nuts. He told his CO my daughter was just trying to hurt him as HE was breaking it off. Then....she showed the CO the 100s of text & emails. CO made him see a Shrink....fudged his way thru 2 weeks, git dismissed & then the fun began....12 yes of hell. He never stops.

    • @iaindcosta
      @iaindcosta Місяць тому +2

      Only 2% of narcissists are self aware.
      Some operate a facade instinctively, others have no facade.
      Covert BEHAVIOUR iscarried out by different types of narcissists - some do it instinctively as part of facade management, others are calculated.
      HG TUDOR knows

  • @HydroDiver
    @HydroDiver Місяць тому +90

    The fact that their abuse is intentional and knowing how much damage it can cause, makes them absolute criminals.

    • @andreakeener6378
      @andreakeener6378 Місяць тому +8

      Monsters!

    • @iaindcosta
      @iaindcosta Місяць тому

      Why does it make it worse if they know what they are doing? They still cannot help it either way.
      Having knowledge about who you are is not the same as having self control.
      Most narcissists manipulate instinctively in the moment, only 2% of narcissists are self aware.
      HG Tudor has plenty knowledge on the subject

    • @HydroDiver
      @HydroDiver Місяць тому +2

      @@iaindcosta If you know that you're manipulatively and deceptively hurting someone else simply for your own gratification and you can't control yourself from purposely hurting them, then I hope when what goes around, comes around, it comes around a million times worse than the hurt that you caused.

    • @iaindcosta
      @iaindcosta Місяць тому

      @HydroDiver I know how you feel, don't forget that they may trying to provoke "negative fuel" from you and you are just playing into their hands by expressing your upset, for your own sake, it's better to forgive (once you are in a safe place).

    • @HydroDiver
      @HydroDiver Місяць тому

      @@iaindcosta *yawn*

  • @mr.vargas5648
    @mr.vargas5648 Місяць тому +38

    Narcs are often nicer to other ppl to show the world how great they are and how useless you are. Its a form of bullying really.

  • @KatHay27
    @KatHay27 Місяць тому +69

    My narc ex played the role of gentleman in public. If I ever asked why he was kinder to strangers than me, he said I was jealous.

  • @TheTeaLeavesKnow
    @TheTeaLeavesKnow Місяць тому +81

    Yep. So, they read people well, and in a private setting like with spouse, roommate, alone with a "friend", then...they show their ugly side. But, not to anyone who is of high rank or a person they "need": banker, doctor, therapist. You know what I mean. Glad I tuned into this video today. TY.

    • @payelpatel6134
      @payelpatel6134 Місяць тому +3

      Absolutely relate to this

    • @elderlypoodle9181
      @elderlypoodle9181 Місяць тому +1

      Actually my mother let her scary side be revealed to her doctor and anyone that questioned her.

    • @TheTeaLeavesKnow
      @TheTeaLeavesKnow Місяць тому +2

      @@elderlypoodle9181 Yes. I reminded myself that I've had the experience of seeing those (like your mom) when I worked in a nursing home. They had their "full mind" and made every one sit on edge and squirm until they've (meaning the staff) had enough! Yes. There are those that don't give a rip to whom they throw their narc-sh*t at. Let us all help each other here. Let's build our knowledge and strength.

    • @iaindcosta
      @iaindcosta Місяць тому

      The prime aims: Control, Fuel, Character traits and Residual benefits.
      Check HG Tudor for knowledge regarding narcissism

    • @rashmigama2417
      @rashmigama2417 28 днів тому +1

      So true

  • @Monalisa0622
    @Monalisa0622 Місяць тому +58

    What made me realize is he knew exactly what he was doing was because he would only trat me like garbage in secret. He was loving in front of people. If he would get angry in public he would get close to my face where others couldn't hear him and would say something demeaning. This right here made me realize he knew exactly what he was doing

    • @TataShiku
      @TataShiku Місяць тому +4

      Same here. A man in his 60s , everyone outside thinks he is a Gentleman and most kind man. Yet at home on entry inside the gate he would become Cold ..cold hearted animal and very ready to devalue degrade and put me in the miserable world .I used to ask him why he always did this and he would label me as sensitive

    • @Angela-ul9si
      @Angela-ul9si Місяць тому +5

      Yes my husband has no problems with buying his car truck and quads parts but makes me feel so terrible for wanting laundry soap to wash the laundry for him and the children. I wear my clothing items for sometimes about 2 weeks because of this reason. Also my stomach medicine which he made me stop buying for my intestinal issues but at least he still buys our daughters seizure medicine which is very costly in which I am very grateful for to be honest. I know I have changed from years of this kind of treatment but I am a bit older now and I have no friends no family no car and no income. My body has been through a lot of illnesses and is in constant pain most everyday. He’s honestly not a very nice husband nor father to be quite honest and if I had any resources to leave I most certainly would like that very much but sometimes there is no good ways out when you don’t have anyone else to help you in any ways or to talk with about anything. I have not given up completely on things I think that I have just given up hope for a more peaceful and loving home life for my daughters and myself in any future settings.

    • @iaindcosta
      @iaindcosta Місяць тому +1

      Most narcissists who operate a facade do so instinctively in the moment, this behaviour may make it seem as if they are conscious but they are probably not because only 2% of narcissists are self aware.
      Those are psychopaths and they can't help it either.
      I learned from HG Tudor

    • @karenlynch8348
      @karenlynch8348 Місяць тому +1

      They ALL do that it’s like they are robots. Such uniform symptoms

    • @iaindcosta
      @iaindcosta Місяць тому +1

      @karenlynch8348 They don't ALL do that- Lesser school of narcissists do not operate a facade, what you see is what you get..
      Mid range and greater schools do operate a facade, but only the upper school do it consciously

  • @leviwhite3553
    @leviwhite3553 Місяць тому +46

    They will tell you how good of a person they are. How it is you that brings it out in them, this rage, this anger, this resentment, this this this this.
    Oh I'm such a loving person and I am the kindest person in the world. Forget that as soon as the door closes they drop all of that and you become the servant you were meant to always be.
    They will defend what they want to be not what they are.

    • @i.l.9546
      @i.l.9546 Місяць тому +1

      Exactly. All to Server the false self Image they tell themselves and that they want to be mirrored back.

    • @iaindcosta
      @iaindcosta Місяць тому +2

      The dynamic between the narcissist and the empath..

  • @greeneyedcat717
    @greeneyedcat717 Місяць тому +9

    They know well enough to try to conceal their abusive treatment when it's in their best interests to do so. As a child of a narcissistic mother I saw her switch from her 'nice' attitude in seconds once behind closed doors. My mother could rage horrifically for literally days at a time over something irrational. She was truly unhinged and frightening.

  • @user-dz7pi5wi6t
    @user-dz7pi5wi6t Місяць тому +9

    Even if my narc mother is raging at me in public, no one would come to my defense because she already charmed and won them over. In fact, they would ask if she's okay and assume that I'm the problem, not her.

    • @valentinagiovanardi6080
      @valentinagiovanardi6080 19 днів тому +1

      When we met a new adult for the first time, my mother would soon list my faults and weaknesses, and possibly invent some more, and finish with listing all of their child's talents and all the ways they were better than me and how she wished I was more like them. Rarely someone sensed that there was something off with my mother's behaviour, but the majority of them would only immediately label me as a troublemaker (and some of them did also asked their children not to play with me because I was a bad example).

    • @user-dz7pi5wi6t
      @user-dz7pi5wi6t 19 днів тому

      ​@@valentinagiovanardi6080 Sorry that you were mistreated, misunderstood by these people who believed your mother. My brother and I experienced the same, unfortunately. She would badmouth about us whilst praising other parents' kids and giving them gifts. I was usually friendless and unpopular in 'top' class, where many of the students were mean. In fact, my mother would ask them about me and they shared negative comments/feedback with her. Imagine how surprised these people were when I was later admitted into a high school with a 3% acceptance rate. Looking back, I wish I knew my self-worth way earlier in life and seen these people for who they really are. Don't let anyone make you feel less than...ignore and avoid them.

  • @mercedesvallar3384
    @mercedesvallar3384 Місяць тому +17

    You are so right! I wish I had a body cam, so that I can show other family members

  • @casideedaun1041
    @casideedaun1041 Місяць тому +29

    Only after you leave they act like they're supposed to. I promise!!!

    • @francesbernard2445
      @francesbernard2445 Місяць тому +3

      Of course that is true only when they are aware when doing so they would have too much to lose again. Given how narcissists tend to be sticking together whenever that will advance in general their acquisition of status symbols like speed boats, antique cars, yahts, etc. etc. etc. that could take a long time for them to be aware of that. They rely on those status symbols to 'prove' they have self control unlike their targets.

  • @User-vibes1523
    @User-vibes1523 Місяць тому +27

    Thanks Danish for continuous healing support 💖💕💝

  • @lorimiller7261
    @lorimiller7261 Місяць тому +9

    My soon to be ex husband asked if we could meet with our attorneys so he can tell them the amount of the settlement that I will get! They really believe they are above the law 🤦🏼‍♀️They are shape shifters as well, never again 🙏🏻

    • @lol-np6pt
      @lol-np6pt 15 днів тому

      OMG YES! My ex husband & I are finally going to sign our divorce settlement after 6 and a half years because he has tried to manipulate the whole thing so I don't get what is rightfully mine! I have had to fight the whole way. When he has not got his way THEN he has shown his true colours in a public setting!

  • @alienfrommarss
    @alienfrommarss Місяць тому +4

    Offten wondered, stressed, cried and couldnt wrap my brain around this. Thank you for clarity ❤

  • @sandycarlyonroubal4898
    @sandycarlyonroubal4898 28 днів тому +2

    In public he was acutely aware of the images being projected. His main concern is image management.

  • @Lyrielonwind
    @Lyrielonwind Місяць тому +6

    I can't expect no one asking themselves this simple question: why would I want to scape my family being the most vulnerable? They have money and I don't... I should be clinging on to them.
    Don't expect people to ask themselves the right question.

  • @danielakolundzija50
    @danielakolundzija50 Місяць тому +15

    Love your videos Danish. You not only know the topic well but also have a soothing voice. What you say in this video is so true, I have experienced all of this and it’s definitely evil. I didn’t believe evil existed until I came across a narcissistic family cult.

  • @webistebi8310
    @webistebi8310 Місяць тому +14

    Honestly all of them… but I am breaking free of the narcs in my life & am learning the signs to avoid them in the future!💝

  • @gigiw.7650
    @gigiw.7650 Місяць тому +13

    I was a caregiver for an schizophrenic/bipolar woman who also has a serious memory problem because of all the drugs she has taken over many years. She is also a Narcissist! What a treat that was. Her father is also a Narcissist and we lived on the same property. I ended up with a heart condition and have problems doing regular daily activities rn. I'm living my best life now with my son, his wife and their children. I love being a grandma and having grandsons! 😂

  • @rashmigama2417
    @rashmigama2417 28 днів тому +1

    Completely correct 200 percent.That is soooooo fitting my ex husband.It' s really exactly his behaviour.
    Soft spoke well mannered looking after world affairs but whispering demeaning and intimidating things to me and kids and my parents in private in a low voice.My parents are evil,I am sick ,I need help,kids are only interested in money what not ...there is no end to the crap.
    So according to him his impeccable behaviour outside is what will make people never believe me.
    I have childhood trauma and anger issues.I was wondering where that information came from.My childhood was really secure and happy.
    Omg.
    You just described him to the core. Victimhood is his forte, innocent victim and he tried to prove it in public in front of colleagues then laughing after they left,police omg get completely fooled,lawyers think I am aggressive bcos he knows exactly how to incite me.I can see through the humbug so I react.Can' t bear to see the hypocrisy any longer.
    He literally self inflicted a trauma and went to the therapist saying I did it a year back.
    Lies to another level.
    My daughter was crying telling him not to do it but he took the opportunity to go when I was not at home weeks after we actually had a verbal spat where he actually hit me.That is when I realised it's getting dangerous.And then saying PTSD he is suffering from.Excuse me.
    It should have been my dialogue.
    Now that he is not here we are truly really happy.We really enjoy ourselves together.Evil predator and monster has to be away from us.
    I just need it to be that way.

  • @amitchowdhury4113
    @amitchowdhury4113 Місяць тому +16

    my narc friend mentioned several times that she behaves good to some people and behaves badly with selected persons. So you are a absolutely correct. they it is their choice and do it deliberately. Moreover, at the very earlier phase she mentioned that she had blown up meaningful relationships due to abuse. I was naive at that point. But now I can clearly see everything.

    • @iaindcosta
      @iaindcosta Місяць тому

      That does not mean she knows it is wrong, she probably feels justified because of a sense of entitlement and dichotomous thinking.

    • @amitchowdhury4113
      @amitchowdhury4113 24 дні тому

      She knew she was wrong after she blew every past relationships. That it is why while in new relationship she mentioned. Moreover she apologized so many times but she repeated the lies, cheating and abuses more fiercly.

    • @iaindcosta
      @iaindcosta 22 дні тому

      @amitchowdhury4113 It could have been done instinctively to assert Control in the moment, not necessarily planned.
      Narcissists have not made object constancy, things are not real except in the moment (except for that 2% who plan, gaslight, control their fury..)

  • @joseygonzalez1800
    @joseygonzalez1800 Місяць тому +14

    Thanks for the video. I got the disappointing news that my grandma won't be coming to my wedding because I refuse to invite my narcissistic aunt (her daughter.) Narcs ruin everything I swear :(

    • @sadmimikyu8807
      @sadmimikyu8807 Місяць тому +1

      Oh that is sad for you.
      So your grandma doesn't see what her daughter is like?

  • @michelleelfazzate178
    @michelleelfazzate178 Місяць тому +8

    He was such a grandiose he went to church and asked if he could give the service 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @LW-mq1zl
      @LW-mq1zl Місяць тому +2

      lol this made me laugh as, when my uncle was passing away, my father went to the hospital to give him final blessings/last rites. My father was not a priest or anything of the sort. Rather, he was the biggest religious/catholic hypocrite who smiled to the outside world while he beat his daughter (me) to a pulp on a weekly basis for no reason. I’m not sure what lies he told my cousins to have them believe he was so special and had the authority to pray over their father but I found it sickening.

    • @michelleelfazzate178
      @michelleelfazzate178 Місяць тому

      @@LW-mq1zl gosh that's shocking,what an evil man

  • @larshesthaven5828
    @larshesthaven5828 Місяць тому +8

    Spot on Danish Bashir..i am a Danish citizen having a daughter with a philippine monster mother who can play any role to get off the hook...even the police and the social workers she convinced I am the culprit...and in the church she is looking so holy that I feel like vomiting.. in the church she is paying indulge money and the priests worship her spending my money to get rid of her karma.. the priests dont care as long as they get the money and just let the bs move on..hypocrites like the narch monster they are. I am introduced as an idiot who has no control over my feelings even I say nothing and just stay calm whever the narc is performing her bs...i can go on.. what I am concerned anout is to save my daughter from being with an evil psychopath and borderline mother who is not able to reverse her terrible behavior...she is the worst of the worst... I have never imagined that a human being can be and behave like that..but now I know and have to accept it all even its heartbreaking...i simply dont know what to do to save my daughter..the mother knows she has the upper hand..she is criminal and should be locked up from hurting more people, especially my daughter

  • @lauraantic1384
    @lauraantic1384 Місяць тому +2

    They know how to manipulate the law they know how and where to behave they are aware of their actions and having power ower victims that motivates them to destroy more

  • @terriarnold4364
    @terriarnold4364 Місяць тому +10

    Very Devisous,and Evil!Protect yourselves and the one's you Love.God Bless all of us survivors!🙏💜🙏❤️

  • @RKX_Errant
    @RKX_Errant Місяць тому +8

    I was ensnared in a situation with my niece whom I believe to be a narcissist. I suspected she had done something but had no hard proof. I was able to thwart her by destroying her deed. She learned of what I had done as I verbally explained to her father how I had fixed the problem as she stood there listening. In short it was only she and I who were aware that the problem existed due to her actions. Generally, she would maintain the most expressionless face. I termed it her stoic face. However, I caught her this one time, for a brief second her eyes narrowed and her mouth contorted. She appeared agitated with anger for that brief second, but she caught herself and returned to her blank expression. I was truly amazed at how she contained herself when she lied or accused, or denied. Anytime I noted that stoic look, it became a signal to me that something was up with her.

    • @texasrefugee7888
      @texasrefugee7888 Місяць тому +2

      I will catch sadistic grins they'll do in just a instant before they catch themselves. Like when I make a mistake or I tell them something about being hurt.They love it

    • @RKX_Errant
      @RKX_Errant Місяць тому +2

      @@texasrefugee7888 Yes, now that you mention it, I've caught the same. Said niece had this odd physical lunge (difficult to describe here) that she did when she verbalized what she perceived as a "gotcha" moment. The downside to these odd quirks is that you have to have experience with them to be able to note them. By that time they've usually inflicted damage. Sigh.

    • @jackiepowell7513
      @jackiepowell7513 Місяць тому

      Her and I

  • @stellap7624
    @stellap7624 29 днів тому +1

    This is exactly what John is like, he's so kind and benevolent at times, on the other side of things he's mean, cruel and downright nasty.

  • @bellanegrin3915
    @bellanegrin3915 19 днів тому +1

    I have been on the receiving end of all of these.

  • @Angel42836
    @Angel42836 Місяць тому +6

    It took one of his friends to move in with us for her to actually see that his was a narcissist and that I wasn't making it up. But another friend lived with him and still doesn't think that he is a narcissist and won't believe me. Because that has been his friend for 30 years but he has seen him act and totally gaslight everyone and not caring about others

  • @ndidiamakaakpunonu1232
    @ndidiamakaakpunonu1232 Місяць тому +2

    The number1, 2 and 4 describe d exactly my Narc elder sis. Relating nicely to outsiders but will never do the same inside with family members.
    Holler than thou in the church that she is serving in the altar and standing next to Rev.Huge self deception.
    Creating false impression with outsiders that family is perfect but inside of her she knows the truth. Currently there is no comm/ relationship btw her and any of her siblings plus our mother.
    Narcissists know what they are doing 💯.

  • @back2nature608
    @back2nature608 Місяць тому +9

    They know what they are doing but they dont know why they are doing it!

    • @m998hmmwv7
      @m998hmmwv7 Місяць тому +11

      They know exactly why they are doing it. Stop running cover for these creeps.

    • @stingray0033
      @stingray0033 Місяць тому +2

      I think you're right because it truly doesn't make sense unless their childhood trauma or whatever caused the narcissism just made them decide to be evil. I do believe they know what but not why because we don't even know why.. Nothing about what they do makes sense. They hurt everyone around them and ultimately end up hurting themselves as well because of these insatiable needs to control, manipulate, cheat etc. It's really sad.

    • @mercedesvallar3384
      @mercedesvallar3384 Місяць тому

      ​@@m998hmmwv7Right!

    • @CodyCole80
      @CodyCole80 Місяць тому +3

      They just have cruelty embedded in their souls.

    • @back2nature608
      @back2nature608 Місяць тому +1

      @@m998hmmwv7 Its control and narcissistic supply,they dont know that.

  • @carmencruz4132
    @carmencruz4132 22 дні тому +1

    Your mother should be so proud of you

  • @gertrudmoller9401
    @gertrudmoller9401 17 днів тому

    what i like about you is that you always go strait to the subject and you don't surrounding your self (us listeners) with academic words, we don't understand. You don't seem to have the need to look smart and sooooo professional. It's a relief for us listeners!

  • @outstanding-xj5ve
    @outstanding-xj5ve 16 днів тому

    BAAM!! You naild that genius answer!! If they can hold their bshit in crowd areas they know what they do. I thank you ❤

  • @lol-np6pt
    @lol-np6pt 15 днів тому

    My ex husband was the ultimate at painting the picture of the most amazing & beautiful family & he fooled the entire village! It made it easy for him to spread bad rumours about me when I finally had the courage to leave. But in reality it was me who raised our children with love & care. All I ever wanted was for us to actually be that family that he painted a picture of, but he was so abusive when we were together that I preferred it when he didn't spend time with us - which was most of the time. He had a set of rules that I had to follow & multiple roles that I had to play while he just swanned around making people believe he was the loving husband & father. He has recreated this weird fake family with my children & his new wife and her son & now they have another son together, but the reality is that the children pretty much have to take care of themselves. I wish I could have my children full time, but because no one seems to understand this type of abuse I just have to accept that there is nothing I can do about it & just be there for my children when and if they realise what they have suffered.

  • @paolab618
    @paolab618 17 днів тому

    For my love to God that’s the way my ex manipulated me so evil.. he even prayed the rosary with me, going to retreats, mass…thank you Dr. I like the way you parent everything so clear and real… thank you 🙏

  • @tigressatwork1708
    @tigressatwork1708 Місяць тому +2

    They know it very well what they are doing

  • @annettedillon7751
    @annettedillon7751 Місяць тому +1

    I’ve been destroyed by narcissistic squatters in my home. The police always believed them!!! They stole everything I had and the police didn’t charge them I believed I did it????!!

  • @shelly1828
    @shelly1828 19 днів тому +1

    I agree with all your given labels to these narcs

  • @carmencruz4132
    @carmencruz4132 22 дні тому +1

    I love to listen to you sir. You're very young but your wisdom is that of a true genius. I love this channel. 😊

  • @Child_of_God320
    @Child_of_God320 Місяць тому +1

    3:00 Refused to allow me the right to a church . X allowed me to go for a very short time when he had all the attention, when it was supposed to be about the Lord.
    Also refused to allow me the therapy that I needed for myself.

  • @1stBorn538
    @1stBorn538 Місяць тому +2

    Of course, they know what they're doing. They just hope you don't know!!
    The best victims are either clueless or don't care. The moment you start investigating & putting the pieces together and stopping them from what they want or exposing them to who didn't know the truth, you became the enemy. They will protect their image as all cost, and discarding you is always an option.

  • @louisebekker514
    @louisebekker514 27 днів тому

    You describe exactly me and my children's lifes the last 43years. I am winning through Jesus Christ who are giving me wisdom to deal with every situation and see through this man in our lifes. He is busy learning and changing through our love and the love of Jesus...and many prayers!

  • @jacquelinemarie1078
    @jacquelinemarie1078 Місяць тому +1

    Danish, you seem to dip into behaviors that I haven't heard talked about, but am experiencing stress because of. I watch several of these videos each day, but you give a different perspective, and touch on more personal effects from our abuse. Thank you once again, you are helping me to survive, because I thought some of this stuff I had to be making up, as no one could possibly be this evil.

  • @kathymawer9295
    @kathymawer9295 28 днів тому +1

    You are so wonderful and have hit on points that friends and some family do not see.

  • @user-js5dx5yy1p
    @user-js5dx5yy1p Місяць тому +3

    My mother would act super sugar and spice in public, but was violent and abusive at home.
    The girls who would bully me would act nice and helpful when adults of influence were around, but would be hostile and awful when no adult was present.
    And my ex friend, who became my roommate, would act all shy and sweet out in public. People thought she was so nice, but in private she was holier than thou, dirty, lazy and superior. She would constantly push buttons to bully.
    Good riddance to all of them. The good thing for those of us who were abused and used by these types, they always end up ruining their own lives and never truly succeed at anything. You will though.

  • @sylviakarnel2364
    @sylviakarnel2364 Місяць тому +1

    l am deeply thankful for you telling and explaining the truth.

  • @Blaqbeauty21
    @Blaqbeauty21 Місяць тому +11

    💯💯🎯💯💯 Fact's & Truth , Thanks Bashir for keeping. It 💯 🎯 I just had a argument with someone about this same subject the other day, They don't say or do certain things around certain people , so that means your cognitive of what your actually doing

    • @iaindcosta
      @iaindcosta Місяць тому

      No it doesn't- they could be acting instinctively, in the moment to maintain control

    • @Blaqbeauty21
      @Blaqbeauty21 Місяць тому +1

      @@iaindcosta False they are very calculating

    • @iaindcosta
      @iaindcosta Місяць тому

      @Blaqbeauty21 some are calculating, but most do act instinctively..
      The prime aims: Control, Fuel, Character traits and Residual benefits.
      Facade management can be instinctive.
      They can believe their own facade and lie about it without realising because they haven't made object constancy. They haven't individuated from their mother so they want to bond then split with their IPPS.
      They are dissociated, but seem normal.
      You may have been a victim of the 2% who are co morbid with psychopathy, but as the statistic suggests, that is unlikely

    • @Blaqbeauty21
      @Blaqbeauty21 Місяць тому

      @@iaindcosta All excuses them people wouldn't want you or would not Allow what they do to you for you to do them, Save that they know how to act when they want to , IDC, save me the physcho bologne I been around enough of them SOB to know , They don't want you doing to them what they do to you

    • @iaindcosta
      @iaindcosta Місяць тому

      @Blaqbeauty21 who is excusing bad behaviour?
      Why should some kind of explanation that involves looking at how children develop offend you?

  • @Puglover4life1
    @Puglover4life1 Місяць тому +1

    When we divorced I remember being in the courtroom and my ex’s lawyer stating lies about my character and being a horrible Mom, when he knows that’s not true. The judge thankfully didn’t buy it. I was so grateful. My daughter understands now who he is because he’s exposed himself over the last year, which I couldn’t help. I’m happy she knows how he behaves now, but I’m sad too because this is her Dad, which she deserves a healthy relationship with. He was just served last week with service orders for court date to address the last year he’s put my daughter through. He’s gone no contact for past 2 months now. Praying for God’s hand in the next steps for best outcome for my daughter. 🙏

  • @MeghanK-hm4hj
    @MeghanK-hm4hj Місяць тому

    Calculated actions are done after up setting them or if they are obsessed over someone but when they think someone cares and trust them, they act almost without thinking and same applies to when they are very angry, they act impulsively as anything possible to protect self as they think the other person's rejection or truth towards them is a big threat. It disorganizes their peace and takes them to feel same yet reality is a bitter truth they can't handle. Most cases, they just know that some things they do are completely off but often don't realize it as evil cos in their world, its more like am chasing for my happiness and what makes me happy so what's wrong with that, they lack the ability to think normally but often regard some of their actions deep down though coming to say a sincere sorry is hard. Even when they say sorry, its because they think they have hurt you badly and your rejection or bad reaction equally affects them especially if it's you they are looking forward to achieve something or be happy with. They lie to others and even to themselves without realizing most often, they don't self reflect unless they are hitting wrong bottom or close to. Its complicated for others but to them too who they are.

  • @michiganmymichigan
    @michiganmymichigan Місяць тому +2

    Thank you for sharing this with all of us, Danish Bashir. ❤

  • @danmurray1143
    @danmurray1143 Місяць тому +1

    Danish, that was the best explanation & argument I've ever heard on this issue. Many content creators in this space argue that the narcissist is delusional & is unaware of what they are doing.
    But you're correct. They turn on & off their behavior depending on the audience. That demonstrates they damned well do continously know what they are up to.

    • @iaindcosta
      @iaindcosta Місяць тому +1

      They could be operating a facade instinctively in the moment, the ones that know what they are doing are more effective at manipulation, but this still doesn't mean they can help it or do not believe they are somehow justified.
      They are still delusional

  • @angelicadunal3490
    @angelicadunal3490 Місяць тому +3

    Thank U..!🌸🌸🌸🪽🩵🪽💓💓💓

  • @VoxLesPaul
    @VoxLesPaul 29 днів тому

    My now-ex-wife-narc's super power is speaking softly, calmly, using her femininity. A few weeks before I promised her an engagement ring, I bought her a birthday gift, met her for lunch; later I found out that I was one of three guys that bought her a birthday gift, delivered to her place of employment. She was excellent at playing the helpless, docile female. She used dating sites to play several guys at once.

  • @mukttamahajan524
    @mukttamahajan524 Місяць тому +3

    Looking nice 👍🏻
    Thanks you are Great Help

  • @tzeniblond9091
    @tzeniblond9091 Місяць тому +1

    They have self control!!! They can definately control themselves!!! And they definately know what they are doing!!!!

    • @iaindcosta
      @iaindcosta Місяць тому +1

      They can operate a facade instinctively, it doesn't necessarily mean they are self aware, and being self aware doesn't mean they have self control.
      2% are self aware only

  • @ksramyah6714
    @ksramyah6714 Місяць тому +1

    So true! Very insightful

  • @user-us3st8qu2h
    @user-us3st8qu2h Місяць тому +1

    Oh yes, exactly, I've experienced the 2, 3,4 and 5 cases so far with the Narcs of my life, you are 💯spot on, Danish!!! Thank you for making this mess so clear and understandable to us, for we have suffered and are still undergoing a lot... 🙏🙏🙏

  • @charlie-girl72
    @charlie-girl72 Місяць тому +1

    ive seen tons of ' flossy ' narcs around me. My situation was mixed with this. From harsh, hidden, loudly, quietly , timidly narcs. Its very hard to see but once you know the basics they all posses you see patterns coming to you. Danish i laugh a bit how you act like these, its funny at the same time. Thank you 😊😆

  • @user-qd6qi4wd7o
    @user-qd6qi4wd7o Місяць тому

    Danish, this is one of the major sickening aspect of all Narcissistic personality types whether you're in an intimate relationship with them or not. Danish, can the world ever waken up to the true dangers of Narcissists. I've met maybe a handful in my life that had impact I'm 66. 2 were malignant, malicious, toxic but with all the superficial masks they all wear. They hit me badly, but stealth and information and evidence gathering got them accountable after yesrs as I recovered tenacity and strength to return them to face their horrific deeds. But ib the intervening years how many were in the process of being damaged and eventually could have been destroyed?. Can someone formulate education and strategies to identify them. What do we do???.

  • @marykacollins9191
    @marykacollins9191 Місяць тому +1

    It's so true what you said mine was a monster behind closed doors but in the outside world everyone thought the sun was shining out of his ass if they would be a fly on the wall they definitely would change their mind my ex didn't believe in counselling because there was nothing wrong with him it was me that needed it he was always telling me what a good person he was while he was treating me like shit he was definitely not a family man because everything was all about him even at his job he was the best welder in the world it's all very sad but I'm free and happy without him and will never have him back or hear or see him again blocked permanently 😊

  • @NinaHolman
    @NinaHolman Місяць тому +1

    Experience all of them...spot on it is exactly what they do.....been in it for
    to many years nightmare city..on a daily.
    I am 72 now and don't want to play no more...done...

  • @incognito595
    @incognito595 Місяць тому

    The way I knew was if I was talking to her on the phone, if she invalidated, Bullied, and insulted me, I knew there was No one at her house besides her, but then, she would put on her "mask" and pretend to be normal, that's when I knew her husband was there and witnessing the call.

  • @theresaelizabethelijah117
    @theresaelizabethelijah117 27 днів тому

    My ex narcissistic husband went to immigration behind my back and told them lies about me,he told them that "he had bought me a house in my country " which was a big lie😮 he just wanted me to get deported 😢
    God knows what else he told the immigration bcz he succeeded by making them change my ID but i thank God they did not buy his lies and iam still here and I've just applied for Settlement ID and i pray to get it after so many years 🙏

  • @rafanamomin6535
    @rafanamomin6535 Місяць тому

    Yes...I have experienced all of these

  • @payelpatel6134
    @payelpatel6134 Місяць тому

    My husband has terribly self control when it comes to look younger by giving up on food and drinks that may harm their health

  • @arooshntu8285
    @arooshntu8285 Місяць тому +1

    Plz make a special video on that narrsassist only gets self sufficient and abusive with girl friends but not with future wife and family? Do they behave normal in the workplace with the subordinates and Co workers ??

  • @user-jp1hs6sl3h
    @user-jp1hs6sl3h Місяць тому +1

    #5 I believe explains my situation. Especially since they are connected to them directly through friends in the police

  • @crookedfingersgirl7356
    @crookedfingersgirl7356 Місяць тому +1

    The single female parent who knew her son from another person influcted csa in addition to her still says at every opportunity how "such a good Christian" her son is. I still fear im going to hell because i said- as a CHILD i "hate" them. "Only evil ppl say hate"... Even though: i was asked and i genuinely forgave DECADES AGO.... So it hurts she still sees me as the culprit/person who 'caused' all their problems. And i pray I can heal from the daily terror of dying and regretting no contact in my last moments of life. (Because it would mean ALLLLL my choices were wrong/bad/evil/sinful all along. And I wasted all these decades going no contact, mental illness, PTSD, could have had a 'family' (instead of feeling so ALONE)...)... Hope I make sense.
    PS: i did fully forgive. It was when their chaos and cruelty continued. I wasn't assaulted again but little old behaviors of creeping back, beginning little arguments recommenced and i knew they'd only escalate from then so I had to leave that house. After I left, they all had (another countless) screaming violent fight - and somehow little things were beginning to be said to me that I was involved. That on top of ALL the revelations I had that came flooding back after SIX YEARS of moving away was my final evidence I needed to finally go no contact except sending two cards a year. It burns knowing that ALL that time I believed was forgiving and we passed the hardships... She truly harbored/his her true feelings about me...and it would only be a matter of time until both she and her son start mistreating me, if not fully abuse me again. They'd SCREAM NO to what I just wrote- and THAT is what I'm left to recover from, now. The self doubt, hate, guilt, regret, blame....
    I pray. It's been one year of therapy. My prayer is to fully recover and live without daily pain, bedbound depression/anxiety/shaking, passive suicidalness, self neglect, zero self care, zero hobbies, and staying all day in bed under covers...
    Prayers to all survivors and victims!!!
    TYSM for this video.

  • @user-dd3ny4xb3w
    @user-dd3ny4xb3w Місяць тому

    Oh my gosh, always bought others meals when we went out to eat. But pled poverty when it was just him and I

  • @tty144k
    @tty144k Місяць тому

    Wow
    God bless your path
    This one surely brought the waterworks 🙏🏽

  • @sandradorsey5001
    @sandradorsey5001 Місяць тому +1

    Great topic and so true and so informative.

  • @heatherhall3452
    @heatherhall3452 Місяць тому

    ALL of them + A lot lot more

  • @c.mareeharris4615
    @c.mareeharris4615 Місяць тому

    Thank You! DB

  • @MM-ql5ji
    @MM-ql5ji Місяць тому

    I filed a domestic violence complaint today and ended the relationship for good.. he sat before the police and told me let's compromise please tell her to consider and cooperate and acted all nice as soon as he came out he started threatening me and showed his true face.. I told my safety is important am not interested in continuing the relationship with him he cannot accept me saying that he didn't want me to win even slightly such ego maniac. Never going back to him ever all is ended for good

  • @susanparker9877
    @susanparker9877 Місяць тому

    My ex husband went for a brief stint of therapy and came home with the perfect 'out' for himself. He claimed that the therapist said to never discuss anything after seven in the evening. Anytime I would try to talk to him, he used this self-serving piece of nonsense against me. Seeing as he'd get up around 5 in the morning to go to work, always be too busy to talk to me any other time, get home and expect supper right away, ....I have to ask when and how we were supposed to communicate? I would have liked to let that therapist know how destructive that advice was. On the other hand, was it true that this was even said? I can't imagine any trained therapist giving such blanket advice. My ex froze me out of our marriage.

  • @remyakmkm9260
    @remyakmkm9260 Місяць тому

    Thank you❤❤❤❤❤

  • @sadmimikyu8807
    @sadmimikyu8807 Місяць тому

    ... okay that was a hard watch. You have given me a lot to think about.
    I wholeheartedly agree with your view that they can control themselves when needed. They are actors, sometimes bad ones, but they know how it is supposed to be. They just fake it and a lot of people fall for it.
    In my life I had the misfortune of being diagnosed with Borderline personality and it took me over 10 years to get rid of this diagnosis. I hope it is fully out of the system now.
    I am certain I have cptsd but here in Germany they don't even try. They see self-harm and label you as Borderline.
    And it is 100% per cent the way you say it is: it makes us the problem. We are ill, they say, we need to work on ourselves, taking away the freedom of showing normal and natural emotions when facing abuse on this level.
    When I was an inpatient in two different psychiatric hospitals.. both times and against my wishes even though I was legally an adult they wanted to talk to my parents. Of course they fell for the mask and the doctor told my very narcissistic mother she should make me do more housework and she should deal with me in a stricter way.
    When I had therapy many years later I did not trust the therapist to see past the mask and I was certain that having a talk with my parents will go really bad for me. So I refused.
    And that shitty therapist then love-bombed me and did the same my mother did to me.
    I hope now I understand all forms of narcissism and your videos and reading about it helps me a great deal!
    Thank you, Danish!
    (And I think your cat wants attention. Give them some chin scritchies)

  • @nazeninatalie1004
    @nazeninatalie1004 Місяць тому +1

    Unfortunately all of them

  • @onlydebra4580
    @onlydebra4580 Місяць тому +3

    They know what they do...he was treating me like....so I started video..well that ended that

  • @Ceelu-rb2vp
    @Ceelu-rb2vp День тому

    My naarc is so cruel to me from the beginning itself and I were not aware of it and have been suffering from 23 years and have four children Now a days it becomes so horrible and I felt I became unconscious for about 2 hours and there is something happening in my body as I have been suffering from severe pain and muscle injuries ; first right leg knee then after the treatment and curing then left one after that left hand shoulder then right one like going on Outside there's no injuries and he often says when we becomes older it's common And I had taken alot of MR I scans for this as directed by the doctors I fear my nights I have no way as Ia am a depended of him He strongly believes in male dominence and women as their slaves With my experience I understood that he is covert narcissistic person

  • @msweenandrie3829
    @msweenandrie3829 Місяць тому +1

    My narcissist partner he was going to church after doing something horrible.i was wondering .

  • @Suchitra99
    @Suchitra99 28 днів тому

    You are right on about the police!!😮

  • @ibrudejude
    @ibrudejude 25 днів тому

    I'm Free at I'm Free at last Thank my Devine I'm free at last; 31 years

  • @fionacross5836
    @fionacross5836 29 днів тому

    The narcisist I know runs a charity. He loves the recognition and adoration he receives. He is treated like a celebrity. Therefore I cant tell anyone about what he's really like, because no one would believe me.

  • @nagabharathielankula1019
    @nagabharathielankula1019 16 днів тому

    Sir excellent and true Sir. Please make vedioes on how to protect myself from male narcissist in marriage relationship

  • @carmencruz4132
    @carmencruz4132 22 дні тому

    We need to pray for the narcissists. Their end and eternal soul can be in danger since they know what they're doing.

    • @user-uo6zw2rv2x
      @user-uo6zw2rv2x 15 днів тому

      They are breaking many commandments, especially coveting and loving idols.

  • @lindafrabizio2910
    @lindafrabizio2910 Місяць тому +2

    Some are BULLYS. !! I know from experience

    • @maidmarion2976
      @maidmarion2976 Місяць тому +4

      I think they are ALL bullies often in different ways but it all amounts to bullying

  • @divineconnectionz
    @divineconnectionz Місяць тому +1

    #4 All the way!

  • @b8akaratn
    @b8akaratn Місяць тому +1

    😮... 😞 i was about to say, "How do they believe themselves" before i had some memories of narcspouse flood me-- him, 'devout' during church on Sunday, and with mucous running down his beard in a front pew... While i enjoyed church, he HATED my participation in it... which should not have surprised him since it was a CONGREGATIONAL church?!? You are kinda expected to do stuff in it??!! .but when we stopped going, I was grateful because we were SO embarrassed to be sitting by him. ... THEN he went to the church of his actual denomination (Catholic) and told us not to go with him. HIS soul was more important than ours, apparently... 😤

  • @direstraights
    @direstraights Місяць тому

    They do but, but, then the deny and lie tuibk bg we didn't just see and hear their point blank behavior.

  • @patlewkowicz6339
    @patlewkowicz6339 Місяць тому +2

    Yes !!!!!!

  • @streaming5332
    @streaming5332 Місяць тому +2

    Why is to picture unfocussed.....

  • @suja7129
    @suja7129 Місяць тому +1

    YES very true

    • @suja7129
      @suja7129 Місяць тому +1

      I experienced all these from my husband

  • @charmaineandrews5435
    @charmaineandrews5435 Місяць тому +1

    Truth❤

  • @IsabellaPiesch
    @IsabellaPiesch Місяць тому

    They know exactly what they are doing. That´s just it. Listen to their projections (there is the answer!). They are great actors. They play nice if they want to use people. You have to think about fishing - they fish and if they catch you you are doomed... (That´s just it).

  • @sandhyalama4694
    @sandhyalama4694 Місяць тому

    All 5 points has happened in my life and I am still dealing with it. He keeps accusing things I haven’t done in the past. How can I prove that. Is that right that the narcissist have no feelings towards us?

  • @deborahcaldwell9775
    @deborahcaldwell9775 Місяць тому

    True