5 Ways Narcissist Destroys Your Appearance
Вставка
- Опубліковано 31 тра 2024
- Book Your Seat: Workshop on Heal After Surviving a Narcissistic Parent www.emotionalabuserecovery.co...
chapters
00:00 introduction
01:03 1.They expose you to extreme levels of chronic stress by abusing you
02:50 2.The same stress makes your body age faster
05:32 3.Body temperature Fluctuations
07:39 4.Hair loss
09:14 5.Chronic skin conditions
11:01 The conclusion
Book Your Seat: Workshop on Heal After Surviving a Narcissistic Parent www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/pna
Yea
Oh my
I get depressed by watching your videos please tell the solutions also . So that the people can listen to it who can't pay.
Omg now I look longer this video.. I've had lost hair, gained weight. I was 27 at the time, hard skin. Rosacea which is heavy redness in the face, heart rates were not normal, constantly felt like I had my period to come which wasn't. Pms I've my whole life since 11 years of age. Thick blood cloths etc temperature swticings like you do Danish. It's so painful to hear you saying it. But I feel comforted by your teachings. Thank you💚💪🏽🥹
If you're interested in learning more about the brain and PTSD, read up on Dr. Michael Nehls' book, "The Indoctrinated Brain". He goes over something I never heard anywhere else regarding the hippocampus. He explains how it works and why it's necessary to have new experiences and experience joy and connection with other people and nature. He explains the danger of low vitamin D and the impact on your memory, cognition, and mood. He has spent most of his work on studying the effects of Alzheimer's, depression, anxiety, and PTSD on the brain. He coined a new term also, "Pre-PTSD". Where you develop PTSD symptoms from just thinking about what may happen, even if it never does happen. It's similar to the model of CPTSD but no actual trauma is needed to induce it. It can wrap around PTSD and CPTSD as part of the rumination.
I wish there was a way to post before, during and after pics here on UA-cam. I went from looking fairly pretty to downright ugly and aged because of all the abuse. My body reacted so much that I thought I was in menopause; my hair fell out, my skin looks like a 60 year old with acne; cortisol belly; hot and cold; extreme body pain. The list goes on.
I have had all those symptoms also.
Don't lose hope, you can get yourself back, and better.😊
I agree. I'm a shell of myself, and my health is terrible. I have a balding spot, which really embarrasses my narcissistic spouse.
Away from my dad I look younger at 40 than I did at 25.
This is exactly what happened to me..amazing Danish…I wish I could reverse it..🙏🫶
It's not just how you appear, it is also your personality and how you react to others.
Yes. I've withdrawn into myself and just want to be alone all the time.
Yes, and then I get shamed for not having friends. For wanting to be alone and safe. "No one likes me because I'm crazy."
I even became an alcoholic,I'm recovering in 2024 after I divorced him in 2023
Yes.
@@carrieann8388you are not crazy, you are a normal person reacting to an abnormal situation. ❤
OMG when I gained weight (went from 117lbs to 130lbs) he bought me an exercise bicycle for Christmas and enrolled me in the gym. I did not ask for those gifts. In bed he would rub my thighs and say, 'your thighs feel smaller'. They are such emotional terrorist. They drain your life force. Now I am divorcing him, he looks 10 years older and I immediately lost weight and started looking much healthier
God I'm so sorry that happened to you because you actually just had a healthy weight on what a jerk that man was😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮
Same here. Always commenting on my weight/ thighs .I did shadow work to fix his damage
and as I get better he looks worse and worse 😂 I hope it continues ! He’s almost 60 so his looks are fading and he can’t stand it ! I think he’s jealous that I am younger than him, he’s caused me so much pain( weight gain, aczema, hair loss, depression, anxiety, isolation etc )and wasted years of my life !
Same here ..That before and after effect omg..now trying to stress again..
How sad is this? Imagine being so rotten that you do these awful things to another human being?
Even worse, to someone who you allegedly love.
@@renel7303 It's impossible for them to love anyone, they don't even love themselves. It's sad indeed.
I can't imagine hurting anyone on purpose. It's just difficult to understand on any level.
@@UnluckyGirl81 they like to fake people out, speak the words, trick their family and friends who don't live under the same roof into thinking they are nice and loving to their chief victim. It's part of how many of them get their happiness. They are beyond evil.
I was the opposite in the beginning. I WANTED to look good, new relationship, new confidence, blah, blah, blah.. overtime though, there would be little digs here and there at my appearance. I noticed them looking at other women all of a sudden. You gals know the drill.. I have been happily single and celebate for the past 6 years and ENJOY it!!! Anyone who is going to put me down, will be me ONLY! My poor mum was not so lucky. Narc sister pushed her to drink, she lost all pride and her appearance went down hill. She ended up going to bed one night, never to wake up again. Trauma can do that to you. Like satan, THEY come to KILL, STEAL and DESTROY!!! RUN for your LIFE, literally as soon as you can.. and lean on Jesus to help give you strength and protect you dear ones.
I'm so sorry for your loss. God bless ❤😇🙏
I'm sorry everything that you've gone through and I will say Amen to what you've posted because you have absolutely spoken truth and thank you cuz I'm running as fast as I can and as far as I can
Never give up on yourself. Keep going. Seek help everywhere you can. Let The Authorities Know what is happening to you. Tell as many people and Agencies as you can. Keep telling them. Keep them informed. If the Narc knows you are telling people about what is happening, it will scare them.THEY ARE COWARDS. USE THAT FACT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!
@@judiezell4306 Thank you. My mum passed in 2004. My narc sister was the only child in mums life at the time.. Myself and brother was scapegoated therefore were given the silent treatment for these years leading up to my mum going. Coincidentlally when my narc sister was back on the scene in mums life.. My other sister, was sick of the BS so stepped back out of mums life, unfortunately just at the time when mum passed. Please take care and keep yourself safe from these demonically possessed individuals. THEY are diabolical..
@@charlottecoolik9872 Thanks Charlotte. Run dear lady.. better still run into or back to the arms of Yeshua/Jesus. HE is REAL. HE will heal and love you back to health and peace. HE is my ONLY FAMILY and I am blessed with that now. Take care of yourself. Protect yourself spiritually and the rest will fall into place.
narcissists destroy you from the inside out. the stress and mental ailments they create, transcends into your physical appearance.
the way you end up looking is an indictment of the narcissist's adverse impact in your life.
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
Yeap
True.they devour our entire system from memory loss self esteem and self love all taken down .they shame us for the changes that have physically taken place after all the changes from their abuse .I had hair loads big bugs and body just became different as I was also their unpaid worker. They are pure evil .may we heal and get out of it completely.
This is such a great topic. Many times, I realized that my appearance has changed. In the 7 years of "marriage", I went from an attractive, youthful 50 something, to having hollows under my eyes. Went from looking happy, to looking, sad, angry, worried, frowning, looking exhausted. I went from working out at the gym for years, hiking ect. to being so tired I could barely get through a work day.
Went from being a normal red blooded woman in the bedroom, to being a rejected, mentally abused, depressed, confused woman.
Even after over 3 years since he discarded me for some broad he met in a bar, I still struggle with exhaustion and depression. Can't even get myself to date.
Don't feel alone if you've gone through this. You're not alone!
I am really having serious reservations forming any kind of interpersonal relationships, especially at work
Yeah I understand that. One thing I've learned about the workplace, is that it's not a really good place to make lifelong friends. Although I love my co workers. I realize that they can turn on ya and suddenly you're wondering what happened!
I experienced weight gain,hair loss and irregular menstrual cycle....after leaving him my body is healing and everything is falling in its place. So just leave them and never look back.
Same here I developed PCOS after our relationship
I’m still recovering after 34 years with a covert narcissist. Struggling with PTSD, had to get a Hysterectomy when I was with him, hair loss, high blood pressure, hives, IBS and other symptoms that are unexplainable. Thank God for his grace and mercy to get me out of this horrible nightmare demonic marriage!!!!! Leave and never think about going back!!!!! Ever!!!!
Same but this was after I found out about his deception. I retaliated and he’s been exploiting his AP turned wife trying to get back at me. He’s a musician and she’s a singer and they’re a local household name now. A situation I know he orchestrated on purpose. No one believes me when I tell them and others don’t even like me because they support him. When I try to expose, i get told to get over it. She and i look alike too so people get us mixed up making things worse!
still trying to get my cycle back on track it was so horrible
@Xxx-vx1pi Same!
Experienced them all at various phases of life - puffiness, sudden increase in weight, shrinking, losing hair, droopy face, cold extremities, acne, gut issues, skin issues... you name it.. Only now do I understand the whys..
Very true.. have experienced all of these symptoms and still continue to..makes lots of sense now in retrospect
@@anujasingh7178 yes, I still do. Hopefully divorce, continued self compassion and self work will get my cortisol levels down.
Does this affect your thyroid levels? Maybe this has been my problem all my life between my parents and spouse.
@@ritadyer9295 I think so.. trauma often results in autoimmune issues like Hashimoto's.
This is so true weight gain comes and health issues no one understands this but a survivor
Anybody else notice the moment when you look at the narcissist and realize that you don't find him the slightest bit attractive and wonder what you ever saw in him??? On my worst day and worst appearance I KNOW I STILL LOOK BETTER THAN HIM ON HIS BEST DAY and better than any man!! Women please stop evaluating yourself based on any man's opinion whether it is good or bad!!!In fact, he looks ugly to me now!!! Screw him and his opinions! Some of my appearance has changed and I haven't kept my appearance as well as before I met him! I think this post is too much gloom and doom! I expect to recover! I expect to do better! I expect to live exceedingly abundantly above all that I can ask or even think! I pray everyone recovers!! ❤❤❤🙏
Amen.
I went on a date last week with someone who said they wanted to take me out and dress me… having an insight into these people I immediately told them exactly where they could go 😊
Once you know they generally stick out like a sore thumb.
I was raised by a narcissistic, abusive mother. She was very beautiful and very vain. She spent a lot of time making sure every hair was styled right and in place, her makeup was flawless, the false eyelashes were glued on perfectly, she had the right clothing and jewelry. I was never allowed, however, to ever wear makeup, have nice clothes, or jewelry. My grandma taught me to sew and gave me a sewing machine. The only decent clothes I had were the ones I made. I always felt bad about my looks and myself. I was always over weight, too.
I went off to college and the other girls made fun of me because I didn't wear makeup or dress nice. This didn't really encourage me to do better. The laughter kind of confirmed my thoughts of worthlessness. It took many years before I started trying to fix myself up. I met a man, had a whirlwind relationship and got married within 6 months. Boy was that stupid! I was very vulnerable. He turned out to be an abusive narcissist as well. I didn't have enough discernment to realize I was being love bombed and manipulated into this quick marriage.....until after the vows were said. Even though when we met I had started fixing myself up, now he would get angry if I put on makeup or tried to dress nice when leaving the house. I reverted back to my safe place of being plain, invisible, and even at times shabby. It became the only way I knew to keep at least part of my life quiet and nonconfrontational.
By the time I divorced him I was in my late 40's. Days after the divorce was finalized, my mom had a stroke. I became her caregiver. I was living with the verbal, mental, and emotional abuse all over again. My ugly, plain, unattractive life went on.
She has been gone for several years now. I have spent almost my entire life with these narcissistic, abusive, controlling people. My brain is so conditioned and warped now that it is very difficult to talk myself into doing better. I will start to get motivated and do something for a few days and fail. Then a very long period of time passes by before I try again.
I have not dated or remarried. I don't trust my ability to discern a decent person from an abusive narcissist who plays a good game. Sometimes I wonder if part of the reason I am still stuck in this plain invisible mode is so I won't attract a wrong person in my life. I don't have a good self esteem or good self image. It is even harder without my sister now who died 4 years ago. It's just me now.
I will be 70 soon. I can't afford to retire. My job just got eliminated leaving me to scramble to find something. I have a lot of confidence in my skills, talents, and things I can do, but the outer me is a mess that frightens me.
On top of all the other looks issues, a little over 3 years ago I got my teeth pulled and got dentures. I was going to at least have a decent smile. Wrong! No matter how many relines or what adhesive I use, I can't eat at all with them. The lower plate flies off my gums even trying to eat something as soft as mashed potatoes. I have gone back several times for them to be adjusted with no success. I just don't wear them and have learned how to eat some things without them. I was probably one of a very few happy about wearing masks everywhere. No one could tell I didn't have teeth when meeting me. Now, however, mask wearing is becoming rare. I have to be my even more unattractive self giving me less motivation to try. I wish I could afford to retire and just stay at home with my cats and be a hermit.
I know. I need to finally get professional help. With my uncertain job situation now it will just have to wait.
I'm sorry this was so long.😢
I did alot of learning about Narcissists during the last 3 years because I couldn't afford counseling. I have been learning from Dr. Ramani a clinical psychologist, Jerry Wise a former pastor who deals with Narcissist families which he grew up with, Surviving Narcissism a psychiatrist from Texas who deals with Narcissism, The Royal We, and Danish Bashir. I learned by just watching their Utube videos, what would have taken years and alot of money, for free from my own home. I also grew up in a narcissist family. Hope this helps.
I’m so sorry ❤️
I am so sorry 😞 as well. I will pray for you.
You may try also Shahida Arabi, Gregg Zaffuto, some good authors about sects or cult influence like Steven Hassan, Margaret Singer, Janja Lalich because narcissist are like a cult lider. You can find some good tips from them.
I just want you to know I read all of this and I think you are incredible. Never apologize. I am going through a version of this at only 32 yo and I don't care if I wake up tomorrow. This feeling started around 16 and honestly hasn't gotten much better I just keep attracting them but my dad has to be narcissistic and My aunt and sister seem to be as well and everyone else enables them. So I ended up being the scapegoat and finally cut contact this year. And it's not going great even though I don't want them back. I'd rather they were dead as statistic as that sounds. It's hard to know they exist. And they don't care and they have no regrets and literally blame me. I keep dating Men like my dad and I don't even realize it's happening until it's too late
The only thing keeping me here is fear and I have 2 cats that I Just can't seem to imagine leaving them thankfully but I don't know if that will be enough and I feel like i'm already not being a good mother to them And they sense that I am distraught which is breaking my heart
I worked as a fitness model, he permanently said and did things to destroy my self confidence. He was jealous I think. I lost weight and could not contninue my sport schedule. I was so depressive all the time. I cried a lot and could not sleep, plus I started to smoke excessively, because his mind games and triangulation, that my face also became "ugly". Now I try to come back to myself, which is a lot of work.
Me too but I realized that when I finally let go I didn’t have to work at anything. It will happen naturally if you let it.
I hope that you're doing much better!
No-one ever deserves what you have been through.
I bet the beauty inside you is ready to be reborn!!!
I was a print model. I tend to loose a lot of weight wen under stress. Been with him for 10 years, I feel like i aged. Wen I exercise or try to get back, he says I don't need to exercise I look good but I realize it's only to keep me not attractive to other men.
one of my narcs said 'i will make you ugly' to me many times. he wanted to keep we away from a wealthy suitor and he succeeded
Who wants a wealthy suitor though if all they want you for is appearance?? You'll still age.
But you can change ❤..first, go for therapy. If not therapy, try shadow work
After having my 4 kids I was 198 pounds at my heaviest. He was mean about my weight gain. As time went on I decided not to let his cruelty destroy me. I focused on my kids and feeling good with myself. Since 2008 I slowly started losing the weight getting my self esteem back and caring for my complete well being. I have lost 33 pounds in 16 years. All the issues mentioned I struggled with. I think the hardest thing for me to understand was how could he say he loved me and treat me with such contempt. Now that I have slowly managed to rebuild myself I feel better all around and at times he mentions that he's not comfortable when I look and feel good. Knowing everything I know now about narcissist has made healing easier. I don't feel responsible about the feelings he tried to impose on me. I don't feel hopeless anymore.
Good for you! I'm so proud of you for making these positive changes for YOU! I was raised by a narcissistic "father" (I use quotes because he was anything but a father) and the abuse we all suffered at his hands still impacts all of us today (I'm 58 and my brother is 60, my mother, who has been divorced from this POS still talks about what she went through and she is 82) His pet name for my mother and me was "pimple on a mountain" referring to our bodies being so huge and enormous our heads resembled a pimple. If I may be so bold, please don't take this the wrong way, but if you can leave your narcissist DO IT. Grab your children and RUN don't walk away from that situation. As a survivor, I can tell you the effects it will have on your children will follow them for the rest of their lives. My mother stayed until my brother and I were out of the house which did not do us any favors. To this day, I wish with all my heart she grabbed my brother and I and headed for the hills. What a much happier and less anxiety-riddled childhood we would have had.
Stress & anxiety from all of the crap they put you through will eventually affect and destroy anybody who deals with them...And if you look closely you will see how dishelved, old and unkeep they really are and they want you to look the same...
😉💯🔥⬆️💜
Yes, this is so true!
How can you not hate the malignant narcissist who does this to you?
If you hate them, then Satan won. He wants to replace the love inside of you with hate. The narcissist is demonically possessed, just think of the devil in a flesh suit (unfortunately he's in many flesh suits these days). The battle is not with the narcissist, but with the demons controlling the narcissist.
Ephesians 6:12 KJV - For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
I practiced to not hate Anyone. (grew up Catholic) I learned to never hate Anyone, bcz Hatred = the same sin as Murder. My step dad & my ex husband are dead & gone. Now I live in a low income, Sr. citizen complex. My next door,"neighbor," Hates me. I just moved here. He doesn't even Know me. The devil attacks me, through him. So, ... I'm recovering from his antics & the devil's attacks. I just thought my life would be a bit better by now. He's not a dad, ex-husband, boyfriend or ex boyfriend, he lives next door, in this tiny apt, with paper thin walls... I feel like I have No privacy. I just thought my life would be a better by now. It's a low income place. I can't just up & leave. $$$.
@@UnluckyGirl81I Totally Agree with you!!! 💗👍💗💗🕊️💗
Ma'am can we not guilt trip the victims under religious pretexts? It is normal and natural to react to these evil narcs with loathing.
You remember that they aren’t capable of giving or feeling love like you do. You don’t have to carry hate, it doesn’t help you, and you deserve to do and feel things that help you. So I hope you can focus on love you have for other people. Or humanity. I’ve escaped religious abuse so none of the religious comments help me, they’re just a different form of internalization that does not help me.
I look better at 67 than i did when I divorced him at 36. Although i am still overweight, i have lost 35#. Joy shows in my face, and I look good. My body temp was always low. I still have the cortisol belly. I think it stays.
Good for you, keep experiencing joy.
Try a Ketogenic Lifestyle to help with the corisol.
I've experienced all these symptoms in the past 30 years with my narcissistic spouse. I just learned of narcissism about a year ago. I spent so much of my adult life feeling stressed out due to his ridiculous demands.
True i was becoming sick always he pretended to be good to me.but opposite happened.
I have the same experience past 23 yrs
I am in 30 years too... I also have suffered from constant criticism. I have learned that I can never be enough or do enough. It was a sad day with some relief when I discovered my spouse had a propensity for narcissism too.
I feel you ❤
Within a few short months of knowing this toxic man, I transformed being a joyful, radiant, beautiful woman to a person I no longer recognized. I suffered sleepless nights, chronic anxiety, and stripped of everything that made me who I was. He criticized my hair and pressured me to cut it off; he criticized the way I dressed and accused me of wearing provocative clothing that attracted other men; he ridiculed me for wearing shorts suggesting that I was too old and my skin was too damaged; and one day even asked if I had had a stroke as I=my face seemed to be hanging on one side. After 18 months of living under this chronic stress, he told me that I looked as if had had a rough life. And he compared me constantly to younger women telling me he was used to dating women 10 years younger. He tore me to shreds and left me looking and feeling as if I worth nothing.
I'm sorry to hear that. I went through the same thing but with a parent ❤
Everything true. Second half was delayed onset. Before i left the narc partner and the narc job i somehow gained 40 pounds. Not doing anything different?!? Skin went bad, blood pressure through the roof, no sleep. Stayed in both of those relationships about 8 years too long because I've always been the tough guy. At some point, being the tough guy will absolutely physically catch up to you. I wouldn't have believed until i lived it.
Narcissists are hogs. They would steal the air you breathe if it was possible. No equity.
My cystic acne left once I left my narcissistic family alone.
That's great! I'm so happy for you
@@Jennifer-bs6oy 🙏🏾🙏🏾
I haven't found many people who had to ditch their whole family and some partners. My heart goes out to you❤it's still fresh for me 😢
@@BriJo91Praying for you ❤️❤️🙏🏾🙏🏾 It’s not easy. But with God, prayer, and education on the topic… it gets better…. When I left my family, I had did all I could do… in reality my family abandoned me the day they chose to keep mistreating me… It took me to get into my 30s to see a lot of things.
@@ambriathompson3494 I know you mean well, but I'm atheist.And sometimes it hurts to feel like people are telling me that if I don't find God, I can't find happiness but hopefully that's not how you meant it.Take care
He loved telling me that his ex looked 20 yrs older when he last saw her in court and from stalking her out on fb ...
I DONT NEED PERMISSION FROM A MOLESTED GIRLBEATER
I have aged alot,lower back pain, neck pain,leg pains, feet pains,hair loss, migraines, knots from head to toe and facial acne and scars 😢
Yes!! Over four years I just kept gaining weight, even though I barely ate. Nothing I did/do will get it off. It's insane. And my hair is now mostly gray. Getting divorced, so I hope I'll get back to normal, or something close to normal.
Every single one of these things, plus a few more, happened to me over 12 yrs. I was a shell of my former self, broken and dead inside.
I got ill from constant migraines. Body and skeletal pain after that which was diagnosed after a few years as several autoimmune diseases. Just saw in JAMA that in 2018 they found that 58% of autoimmune patients studied (about 121,000 patients for 5.2 years) had abuse and trauma that caused (c)ptsd.
It was insidious for me. Had almost every symptom you mentioned. It was a LONG 25 year marriage but I had a major glow-up after I finally left! Started running and working out, taking care of myself and felt like a million bucks. I’m sure my cortisol level dropped dramatically as well! I felt like a new person and still do!
Awww what wonderful news! Congrats.❤
I definitely experienced changes in my exterior: weigh gained, looked tired, loss of hair , sad and aged. When I discarded the narc “you’re the fattest woman I’ve ever been with. Look at you, your legs are disgusting.” As soon as he left I lost 60lbs and looked like my old self pre-narc .
Same. My ex always used words like 'waddle', 'pudgy' etc - never quite saying I was fat. But he also refused to be intimate with me. So I felt even more fat and ugly. I see now that was his aim. All the while he was cheating.
Three stone weight gain, skin rashes, migraines, cortisol belly, dry skin, painful periods, stomach issues continually, allergies , uterine fibroids, temperature dysregulation.
I can relate to this all and now understand the temperature regulation! I’ve been struggling with body temperature for quite a while and now it makes sense. Thank you 😊
To fight the physical effects, you have to build your mental and emotional energy. I try to be positive and grateful for my blessings. My children and my dog give me the joy to counteract the stress my narcissist causes.
The thing about not eating anything and gaining weight is so true..from being 45 kg for the longest time i put on 30 kgs over the years now I weigh more than 75 kg and my face is puffy and swollen..i used to have thick hair and has been facing continuous hair loss over the years, premature greying of the hair and cortisol belly..all due to constant stress and over load of handling responsibilities all alone..
I left my narc for 3 1/2 months. But unfortunately I returned but when left leave I lost weight I felt confident again I was actually smiling again I got enough sleep and rest my sister even noticed a big difference in my attitude and appearance so all this is so true about them!!
Thank you for this, I always feel cold most of the time even when it's hot. I have also developed hives. Narcissists are heartless monsters 😢
I used to have that. Loneliness can make you feel cold - exercise! Make sure you get a source of vitamin C with your iron rich foods. Squeeze a little orange or some sliced citrus in a Carrot Raisin Salad for example ...
We love and need you doctor Danish! We root for you too, we're vere thankful for you share you sad experiences with us too! 💚🇧🇷
He destroyed me 90%, but what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!
Thank you Danish for being so patient and delicate about the subject. They are monsters and you still are respectful about them. This says a lot!
Kiss and hug ❤
I relate, I still have cold shivers & problems with temperature regulation. I have numerous food intolerances & usually he would insist on making the main meals (at first this seemed like it was a real help & I was allowed to make dessert ) and hide the ingredients from me. When I questioned him, he would say 'there's something wrong with your tastebuds" or a straight out lie, even though a few times I had a witness to his dinner preparations. He wouldn't allow me to prepare myself another meal but I sometimes defied him- then came tbe silent treatment for up to 2 weeks, my existence being ignored. I would be up all night vomiting or with diahorrea or both, if not just extremely uncomfortable, had a puffy face, and kept putting on weight. Sometimes I was hospitalised. Now I've finally got away I've detoxed naturally, lost 4 dress sizes and never have terrible night cramps, rashes or extreme tiredness. My hair has definitely thinned, but I no longer have his nagging voice in my head criticising my every move and I'm not under stress 24/7. I never really had a love bombing stage as usually described in the beginning. According to a friend my eyes now look bright and alive instead of 'incredibly sad'.
Yes so true. I was so stressed! I was fighting two Narcs, a mom& son. Once I released them both my happiness, joy and healing is through the roof. I get to spend more time with God.
I am protecting my peace at all cost.
Yep! I was fresh looking and happy and then over time I never wanted to be in pictures bc I saw myself go downhill quickly!! Been narc/devil free for over a year and my glow up is beyond amazing! Happier, healthier, better me
Yeah, I experienced so many of these. Hair loss was the biggest one, it was coming out in clumps. Dark bags under my eyes, acne, sleep disturbances and I looked like the life was sucked out of me. I’m returning to baseline and my hair is growing back like crazy and I’m seeing that spark coming back. The gratitude that I made it out overrides the toll it temporarily took on my looks though. I am grateful for that.
Yes Danish they strip you of your vibrancy, strength, and health. I was looking so stressed when the narc left about 15 people told me numerous times you look better and happy 😁
This is why I stay out of relationships all together. Saw my mum in a Domestic Voilence marriage and promised myself that would never be me.
❤❤❤
I can relate to all and did not know why this was happening to me breakouts, excess sweating had two fans and air condition in my room but was sweating so much that the sweat was rolling down my face…loss of hair, gained weight no energy at all
Thank you for your help in making me understand why this was happening
When I started dating my husband bad symptoms started right away. On the first date, I had the worst cold chills where I was just shaking uncontrollably. After that health problems just started cropping up one after another. Shingles. Breast Pain. Severe Pain in my head. Anxiety and Panic Attacks. We have been together for 13 years now and I have massive thinning hair. I don't recognize myself anymore.
Please leave if you can safely and go no contact .
Please leave. ASAP!
@@kfitz192 I'm trying.
@@Raven4508 I'm trying.
Uncanny that you would download this today. Explaining to my hairdresser why My hair looks so unsettled. Problems I said and explained a little. Worst was memory problems never wore makeup anymore. makeup anymore. Looked like I hadn't slept in months and hadn't. Making copies of documents all day. Conversations with either psychiatrists or Lawyers. Let everything go trying to appease the Narc or figure out an imaginary problem created by the Narc I didn't recognize myself. It didn't look like me. Just today finally got a haircut a year later😮
Well, in my case, I was SA'D by him, and I started to wear more unattractive "granny" clothes by purpose because of hiding my legs of his gaze because he was obsessed with my legs and skin and because I knew he hated me for wearing such clothes because he even tried to buy me miniskirts for several times but I laughed at him in public. I think that's why he sexvally abvsed me because I was not into his redflag actions. It was kinda revenge for him to do that to me.
I’m so sorry. My ex did that to me, too (the SA/r@pe). I would get very uncomfortable whenever he complimented my appearance, because I didn’t want to attract him. Hugs. ❤
@@theladyamalthea Awww, I wish you much love and all the best ❤️ Hope you have a great life right now and in future ❤️ Many hugs and kisses 🫂 🤗 ❤️
Im turning 60 in May and was definitely going through menopause for the past 4 years. I was sweating so profusely one day, after experiencing the narcissist rage for a few days in a row & just before I walked inside the doctors office the nurse at the Drs office said to me, "Oh my goodness, is it raining outside?"...I was like, " Its 90 degrees outside today. Theres zero cloud's in the sky & I'm in menopause & miserable. Thats why I'm here". Lol Also, I noticed when I'd get nervous it would bring a flash on. Or especially when my Narc would rage. He blessedly kicked me out this past November and I've never been back and never spoke another word to him. He still has all my belongings, and not a text or word about my personal things. This hurts me deeply but 'Miraculously', I've had zero hot flashes since I left!? WOW! Thank you for letting me know that it was HIM, connected to my physical health all along!!! And my hair is bald in a big spot but that's because he grabbed it and dragged me about 50 feet! Now my skin is all blotchy and I'm always waking up after 1-2 hrs, afraid I'm in trouble. That he's coming for me. I'm so grateful for all of your information Danish. I'm learning the real truth a little bit every day Thank's to you🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽❤
The body temperature thing is very very real. And other fluctuation as well. For example extreme fluctuation in heart rate. From 30 beats a minute to 220 beats per minute... often idiopathic, a doctor not able to figure out what is causing it. I am out of the relationship now, but we share custody. Any time I have to interract with this man I relapse. Within hours I find myself exhausted on the sofa covered in thick wool blankets..desperate trying to get warm. often I end up 'passing out' for hours, like my body needing to reboot from having contact.
When you said about puffiness, I remembered I had the same experience . I was starving and I had a puffed face and tummy too!
The information you give is precious!
After I met mine I started having pain in my heart that I never had before. When it occurred I would drink cold water and burp and then it would go away. First day we met I went ice cold couldn’t stop shaking. Weirdest thing ever. He was the solution to everything. Always some simple fix for everything but the way he delivered the formula made me feel so inferior that I started hyperfocusing on everything and struggled to do things I normally did without thought.
I think they carry a familiar spirit. It’s a demon that knows us well and we intuitively sensed they weren’t the real deal…what do you all think about this???
I went ice cold the first date we ever went on. Shaking uncontrollably. I know now it was a warning sign from the universe.
Acne, eczema, strong PMS symptoms, always cold, white hairs at a young age (WAY younger than all the other women in my family), hyperhydrosis, “inexplicable” weight gain, and random bouts of rheumatoid arthritis and hives. All now gone or greatly reduced! 🙌🏻
Serious health problems with devastating consequences are part of that beautiful package too..they ruin lives, sometimes not forever if you stand your ground and run away as fast and as far as possible. No contact seems to be the only solution. Take care everyone and love yourself because no one else will ❤
Yes somebody will love you, give it time..
This is so true my Narc Mom starved me to not to grow up my face is like a mouse and am just 5 feet in a family of 6feeters
Danish, I wish I could say I was a survivor but truth is, I am dying a little more every day. I have no escape. I don't know who I am anymore and I do not like what I am becoming. I have learned much from you and have come to new understandings about the condition. That has given me a measure of peace but the truth is...no one can help me because I cannot heal when I'm stuck in the situation that has made me sick. 😢😢😢
Don't you dare give up in yourself! I have been near the edge, too. Keep going! You are worth it.
I grew up with thyroid problem from my childhood and beyond, until it becomes thyroid cancer at my 30's. The bullying, shaming and blaming still didn't stop even I'm already sick and in treatment.
I experience that plus hair loss
💯💯💣 hair loss and gained weight. Didnt want to shower. Didnt feel like a human being anymore.
I never had Depression until 2-3 years after marrying him and then I had panic attacks and mood swings along with Adrenal Fatigue. They have ruled out Bipolar Disorder at least 25 times. Everything went downhill fast. High cortisol levels keep you in fight or flight mode. I tried everything to lose weight and hardly ate anything and still gained weight due to high cortisol levels. Now that I understand what was happening to me? I'm able to relax and I don't gain weight like I did when I was with him. I lost a child by miscarriage and I think it was related to his abusive behavior and my stress levels. I did have temperatures around 97.2 and was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. Feeling hot and cold was very common for me during the marriage. Insomnia was horrible but I'm getting better since I understand it is/was stress related. I couldn't believe how all of my health issues resolved themselves just by getting away from him. Thanks Danish for the information. I wish I had this info years ago. God bless you for helping everyone with this info. ❤😊
I feel happy and in Peace! ,i left my ex Narc
So glad.i left thirty years ago.they are some very hateful people
I had all of this and early onset unexplained Menopause. From fertile to nothing in 2 months. Hormones all out of wack! Now my kids, who he took from me in court for no other reason than him wanting them, they show signs of stress in their bodies for all to see as well. I don’t know what to do and my kids are in danger with him.
Everything you said is so painfully true. Narcisistic abuse is lethal. We must be compassionate and loving towards our bodies and try to calm our nervous systems in order to heal but the first and most importantly go no contact or minimal contact with the narcissists in our lives. Thank you 🙏
I felt my belly was swollen and was visible swollen, and other people touched me and said: "you´re hot. do you in fever?" but the termometer didnt show any fever. and when I was in specific situations of stress, I felt like hot waves followed by cold waves, and in the sequence, came the entire symptoms of panic attack till the dissociation.
You know when I left my ex and I mean ran with my children. I lost 40 lbs without even trying. It was crazy
My weight is bad now due to being alone dealing with him and my children. My hair went nuts with breaking. Heat and cold yes. I’m hearing love myself from so many videos today. It must be the universe!
And I got celiac disease and skin eczema! My children too
This is very enlightening!
When I thought I learned everything so far about the narcissist that I was married for 30ish years. I’m 58 and still healing
Narcissistic person destroyed you in side out totally and deeply at all levels body mind and soul . Each and every sign r true Thank you so much dear for validating ❤
I didn't know the nervous system being effected from narc abuse could cause excessive heat in your body. Thank you for sharing this information Sir 🙏😊
Very good topic. I can confirm this. When I leave him I started to look more and more beautiful again. RUN!
I have beyond extreme night sweats from the stress of the person next to me trying to keep me awake. He sleeps during the day in order to be available to keep me from sleeping at night. He is so diabolical he catches naps while I work. Trying always to keep me from eating , or I'm only allowed to eat his pre-approved foods. Just wanting me to be generally miserable in any way, then he can smile and be happy finally. I do not share with him when I am happy, or he will create chaos to ruin it. I'm always prepared for him to ruin everything. Lucky I have Jesus to guide me through the deceit.
Don’t forget they don’t feed you healthy food when they decide to feed you. I’m pretty sure I was always malnourished since a baby and up I even got held back because I was too small. They don’t take you to the doc unless it’s noticeable which can affect your appearance. And etc.
I'm 22 now, raised by narcissistic father and enabler mother, i still suffer with chiron stress, insomnia, cold body, weight loss, and inflammation & my body is so dry and itchy until i shaved my head as a woman yesterday because of also trichotillomania (ocd of removing your own hair) i lost hope, i tried everything
😔💜
Yes,I went as thin as a rake,only noticed in a foto? Many comments about my weight loss,but was only carrying out about what to eat from my narc partner ??? Then she said I was to thin??? This after her saying I looked over-weight when we met??? You lose either way??? Now I'm normal,thank god, of which I do regually❤
They used to tell me I looked very pale. I think I was too chronically scared that it affected me physically... Few years later after breaking up the relationship I am no longer pale, my lifestyle is pretty the same though.
Thank you for the information. I agree with it all. I left the relationship to save my health. A year later I still have the cortisol belly and the hot/ cold temp changes. But I will gladly deal with that to be free from abuse
This explains so much about my childhood. Thank you, and God bless.
True - Insidious. STRESS!
I'm 50 now and have been living under the abuse of a narcissist elder sister since childhood. I feel like I'm heading for a breakdown. Can relate to every word of your video. I need help.
3 years after marying the narcissist, I started getting cystic acne. I struggled with it for 15 of our 18 years being together. I'd never, not even through puberty, had acne. It was awful. My face is still scarred, even after being divorced and being no contact for 2 years. But my life is so beautiful now. I'm happy... like really, really happy for the first time in 20 years.
This is all true, however, the underlying cause of fat ‘dropping’ from under the eyes to the jowls is due to erosion of bone (the scaffolding holding the fat pads up). This naturally happens with age and speeding up the ageing process can speed this up as well. But, neglecting your diet, as is often the case within abusive relationships, can also speed this up. Lack of vitamin D from sunlight can also speed this up. It’s pretty important when you’re younger to store calcium in the bones so you have a strong starting point for the erosion. Any age up to like 50 years old can replace the increasing loss of calcium stores by paying attention to calcium in the diet (don’t take calcium supplements, they’re linked to detrimental effects), and taking vitamin D and vitamin K2 supplements. The vitamin D ‘unlocks’ calcium in food to make it available for the body and vitamin K2 directs calcium into the bones (otherwise it can stay in the blood and cause plaques and clogging up). Both these supplements are dirt cheap, thankfully, and so important to prevent and delay bone erosion. A diet rich in vitamin C and/or vitamin C supplements (also dirt cheap) can protect collagen and elastin from degradation, but it’s more complicated to rebuild collagen and elastin.
So, if you’re in recovery, I’d get on top of those three supplements straightaway and look at increasingly calcium and vitamin C in the diet. Dairy is obviously a good source of calcium, tofu is a surprisingly good source as well and additional protein, which tofu is an incredible source of, is important for repairing the body and rebuilding collagen. Bell peppers are an amazing source of vitamin C, but be careful not to destroy it with cooking too long or at a too high temperature or in water that doesn’t form part of what you consume (that you drain away, like after boiling potatoes, as opposed to, say, in curry sauce). Eating raw peppers is obviously a way round all of that, but adding to dishes near the end is the next best thing. This is a good starting point. You can tweak more later on that will help more.
This is 100 percent true! My stomach was sticking out and I was working out and nit eating much! Cortisol was the reason! I had a cute figure until our marriage.
My hair fell out with thinning on the top and under ears, i went to two dermatologists.
Wow! That was an eye opening speech!
Eczema is something I never had. Until few years ago. Once im less stressed there is no eczma. Acne all my life. High testosterone levels, hair growth. The eczema, as it developed in my 40s, even my GP put down to stress. Narc parents and then narc ex partner brought that out. Amazing what physical damage they can do without touching you and medical professionals run around in circles trying to find medical explanations for psychological abuse. Thanks Danish for another great vidwo
Bad posture, drooping shoulders due to the feeling of impotence at not knowing how to get away from a narcissistic family system and feeling like the abuse will never end.
Also, having to hide my reality from the abusers causes shallow breathing (since I was a child), which also contributes to the drooping shoulders.
The drooping shoulders eventually become permanent as the bones harden in adulthood😢😡
Very good Danish,we suffer,but not forever❤
Yes yes. I gained over 50 lbs. while with the narcissist.
I use to look years younger than my age. I was active and vibrant. I am so stressed now, that after two years, I had to get a pace maker. then wrinkles crowded my face, where I had none previously, my eyes have these ugly bags under them - - - over night. I don't look good, I am tired and worn out most of the time.
You are right, so it is. Was, but thats ended, the exorcist helped me. The church and no contact. Now narcissist is looking as you described, but
I am beautiful, thanks to
God. The narcissist is drinking and in depression,
I am not.
Same I was just looking at photos before and now 😢😢
What can i say... This is so true. When i was in contact with a narcissistic coworker, my body, especially my legs and hands got swollen up. Some time i couldnot walk,my legs beeing so unbalanced. For 2 times i felt how my energy was leaked from my body when i was talking with this narc. This was terrific.From that time i started no contact.
OMG you are on point I look terrible
What you gone through bro... every good thing will come back. God watch us all the time❤
My father is a narc. I have eczema. Since childhood.
Thank you very much Sir for all the informations you give in your videos. I regularly watch them. Only after seeing such educational videos, I came to know that I am having bad time, in hands of my narcissistic mother. Till that time I was not knowing, a mother could be such evil. I considered myself as non beautiful, not social, not lovable by anyone..throughout my childhood, youth, till my 48yrs of age! Now I realise, all these negative feelings for self is because of constant criticism by mother about my appearance, behaviour, speaking style, social shyness and all. Once I realised that even a mother could be jealous of her daughter, I was releaved of my doubt. I just started neglecting whatever comment she passed to me. Then my new life began. ❤ I began smiling. 😃My face started glowing. Friends started to appreciate my beauty and kindness openly💕 It boosted my confidence and slowly I came to know that I am very social and kind person who love presence of people around and love to have a happy conversation. 💕
All these positive Changes happened mainly by realising that even a mother can be evil to daughter and secondly by totally neglecting her critics and labels and finding out TRUE me 😇😇😇
I have had episodes of extremely severe cold sweats. I would wake up shivering and soaking wet from sweating buckets. Once I was in the hospital when this happened; my temperature had dropped to 85 F. A normal temp is 96F to 98F. Literally I was freezing from the inside out and was in fear of my life that night. That’s how seriously sick one can get after years of mental abuse from narcissistic parents which was my particular problem at the time. But this happened years before wonderful teachers like Darnish came along to educate us on what is really going on in these situations. Thank you Darnish and may God bless you abundantly for your good work.
Every single thing you mentioned I went and I am going through! 😞 Thank you for the informative and supportive video. God bless.
I wish I could post before and after photos I left as a paralaysed woman. Thining hairs and semi bald. Wearing baggy dresses, drooped eye, unable to sprak properly, with so mich anxiety, swollrn face, with hypertension, always sick. And now after 3 years whrn hr died, I am.getting way better. So true
U my friend are unbelievably accurate every time I see Ure videos it educates me so much and gives me answers to all my why's as a person who has grown up with a nassistic father to a partner I haven't seen since her ghosting tactics n coming bk to just randomly generate a argument to leave plus a huge amount of other narcissistic traits literally every one IV come across she has to the extreme and accuracy is ridiculous we have a 2yr old child which she was pregnant with from the first day we met well the estimated date of conception but ild just like to say I'm currently walking 3-5hrs a day and lifting weights 2-3 times a day finally looking and feeling good about myself again and I have ure input through Ure videos to thank for contributing to my healing keep up Ure good work sometimes I think God must have sent you because the importance of the impact you have made in my life I couldn't praise or thank you anuff thank you from the bottom of my heart U help so much and save good people's lives I mean that thanku thanku thanku
Yep the temperature dysregulation
Very strange things happened to me ,first my body weight and eating disorders i was so skinny and i started to become fat not eating much .They destroy all beautiful and normal in human