Comedy is fundamentally about incongruity. Something has to seem out of place. The sickle is the prime example here. The casual-ness of mentioning something that comes out of nowhere is also like thisn
@@ratcrib He didn't. He was gonna say "with your little gun" and he said "with your little... your little gun". He wasn't going it swear. Not that it matters.
Michael Magill if everybody was genuine like bill burr bill burr wouldnt be bill burr anymore but just a fake bill burr. this is madness dont wish shit anymurr
Michael Magill you had my attention... but you shouldve stopped writing after that comma though. its perfectly simple son, you wish everbody is as genuine as bill burr. but if everbody is just as genuine as bill burr the ungenuine(?)would become interesting. your wishes are stupid. dont catch mermaids bitch
Its truly a talent how Bill can fabricate an entire story on the spot, and make it funnier than fellow big-name comics. Hand down one of the funniest guys of all time.
Josh Day It's the same, if he has "tons of material" and is doing this "every monday for years", then it's not "fabricated on the spot" like the OP stated. But, like I said, it's not a problem since it's funny and that's all we ask for...
"We went down the street, someone burned a car for insurance" hahah this was the funniest part to me, how he so nonchalantly says that, and not one person laughs.
Bill Burr is my hero. He talks about everything we're too uncomfortable to address and makes us both laugh and think about it. But he's still such a nice, compassionate guy behind that tough guy demeanor.
I almost died from alcohol and for years I struggled with depression there was times I felt numb and I knew if I listened to my bull burr videos actually bought me 48 hours of calm and happiness
I do, and his stage acts are insanely funny. Right when he gets on stage, you can tell he wants to get passed the hellos' to everyone and just start the comedy. The first statement has everyone LOL. In a way, I don't see him as an act, he is himself which is golden really.
I love Bill Burr, I told my wife about him and she and my son were busting a gut watching him on Netflix tonight when I got home from work. Thank You Bill for existing, your our generations George Carlin RIP.
tell me if I'm crazy. But I really like it when the first guest hangs out for the second guest on those talk shows and then the two celebrities interact with each other. I guess it makes me feel like they're they're regular people when they just talk to each other. The best example of this was the Conan O'Brien episode where it was Tom Selleck, The Big Show, and Sue Johanson the old lady sex expert and they were all on at the same time and it was very funny.
@Human Resources He is not the funniest comedian but he's very... how do I say this.. engaging, he always knows what to say, what to ask etc. and he always has a good comeback joke. His show is the best because he basically brings 3-4 celebrities and asks them questions, its just brilliant, it lets celebrities be the funny ones instead of the comedian interviewing them, and most celebrities are naturally funny.
AKABoondock19 I've watched it on a few occasions. It's pretty good depending on the guests. If the guests don't interact well together it just becomes awkward. But to be honest, I find Graham a bit irritating most times.
This displays perfectly what Bill was detailing in his special. In the North East when he talks about the guy he did landscaping for coming out with a .38 to go shoot a burned-out car, everyone laughs hysterically at it-- in the South, everyone just stares back at him like "yeah, so, what's the rest of the story?".
I watched this after watching Bill's Netflix special, I'm Sorry You Feel That Way During the same gun bit, he stops and mentions that people are usually laughing by this time, but since he was in the South, people just sat there staring at him...probably one of the funniest lines I've ever heard. I was wondering if it was off the cuff, or planned After watching this, I noticed that the crowd was already cracking up when he explained that he was doing landscaping for some guy, probably because it sounds ridiculous That made the bit in the special even more funny to me because it was really off the cuff, and totally true!
Unfortunately, in the south - people shoot stuff whenever the hell they get the urge. Street signs, garbage cans, mail boxes. I live right off a busy street and not a weekend night goes by without a few caps going off within a block or so. Texas. It's overrated. lol
one of the reasons why i have at least 3 of his specials in rotation. each album has a special spontaneous moment, it seriously does! whether its a heckler or the story you said above, it always lines up for ol' billy red-face
Shooting is fun. I see it as a sport still, a focus for men. I was talking to some friends about shooting, and now days it just sucks in a city. You have to travel somewhere just to get to a gun range, it's cool to have them, but freedoms do get lost in a city for men whom like guns. In the mountains you can do it.
It is fun but gotta be careful. Not long ago someone "got shot at" while showering. Turned out it was just some people shooting at cans but one or two of the bullets made it to the other guy's house. That's why you can't shoot in a populated area, because people are morons. It's not that freedom is lost, it's just that your freedom ends where the freedom of another begins. You are free to shot your gun but I'm free to take a shower without the fear of some moron shooting through my window.
honestly “I was doing some landscaping for this guy” is all the explanation you need. I’m a landscaper and I have seen people (coworkers) shoot at a bunch of squash randomly in the middle of the day
Sickle = Sichel in German, Scythe = Sense in German Sichel = one hand operation for cutting weeds, herbs and small plants Sense = two-hand operation for cutting grass, crops and bodies of women to get rid of the evidence
@@PeterSedesse They don't know the difference , and it's better to rip off a half a dozen 22 longs into somebodies chest than to try to hit their face with a 357 .
@@PeterSedesse The enemy can take cover behind a wall, and you can't - unless they're dumb enough to burglarize a home with a .22 pistol. Not saying you need .357 (that's an enormous jump) but I would recommend at least 9 mm. Or get a shotgun with birdshot ammo and call it a night.
@Roses I wasn't completely sure back when I commented this actually. So I just googled it and it's one of those farming tools that is shaped like a semicircle at the top and it has like three sharp prongs.
Roses A sickle and scythe are the same thing, except a sickle is for one hand and a scythe is for two. A sickle is across the hammer on the Soviet flag.
This it the craft of a true comedian. He's thought about the sentence structure and the funniest thing to put in the murderer's hand while also being threatening is a sickle. A true professional at work here.
This is why Conan's one of my favorite hosts when he interviews guests like this. He's so much more comfortable with the humor, his laughs always sound genuine, and he's not afraid to throw jabs at a story that have crazy details; "A sickle? Is he harvesting wheat, what is he doing?" XD
Yevgenii Kisarauskas Often true but not always, there are some exceptions. I personally find Will Ferrel incredibly funny in these sorts of situations.
Yevgenii Kisarauskas Have you ever seen any interviews with Will Ferrell or some of his speeches at award shows (particularly his hilarious speech after winning the Mark Twain Comedy prize)? Will's a very funny guy and also very good at impersonations and generallly improvising (many of his films are largely improvised). And Sandler's a standup comedian as well (even though I don't find him funny). I really can't think of any talented film comedians who wouldn't be able to be funny in interviews as well (Mel Brooks, Peter Sellers, Robin Williams etc. all proved they can be funny anywhere at any time, Williams of course was a standup, I know).
A lot of comedians come onto talk shows with some jokes rehersed and thats fine, I'm not knocking on that, but what makes Bill special is how he's able to crank out clever jokes based on someone else's story. A clear indication that he's improvising on the spot and people are loving it.
We need a “Home Alone” style movie with Bill Burr. The premise: Bill’s wife leaves with the kids to go stay with her mother. The burglars don’t know Bill is home cause they’ve never actually seen him leave the house. The whole movie is Bill trying to call his wife but she doesn’t believe him, so he is on his own to fend off the burglars.
@@ltatumus Typically within the black community you wouldnt hear another black male say they're into Bill Burr. Not because of shame but just not being familiar. Perspectives sir. Cant be quick to take offense.
I'm noticing more and more as I get older that weird people are the most genuine and that makes me enjoy my own weirdness a lot more (as in it's my favourite part of myself now)
I always imagine a dude with a hatchet, a chainsaw, and Freddy's glove breaking in. That's why I have a cursed dagger and the skeletal remains of local dead serial killers in case I need to deal with supernatural mass murderers.
When I was young I didn't know why Conan was so great. He makes other people funnier. I know Burr's stand up act and Conan is teeing him up for his jokes.
I remember in his standup in Atlanta how he said most crowds start dying when he mentions he went to go shoot a .38 with his boss and it's hilarious to see how right he was with this clip. That's the difference between California and Georgia right there lol
He makes a stupid point, a .22 handgun has very little stopping power. You want something that will put an intruder down on the ground in one shot, not 15 shots.
@@CryptoDatabase It's best to just nuke em. They'll drop dead like a fly. We don't worry if it was a teenager playing truth or dare, or a hobo looking to sell your pet bird, cause he's gone. No evidence. You're gone, too, and don't have to go to court.
@T REX "Stopping power is the ability of a firearm or other weapon to cause a target (human or animal) to be incapacitated, and thus stop the target" You can't seriously believe the bullshit you are posting...
In my area there was a string of violent home invasions where people from the rougher areas were breaking into homes like 4 guys with ski masks and shotguns. More and more home invasions are involving multiple assailants. Usually people just think some single random bad guy in all black kicking in your back door like an ADT commercial, but many times it's not like that and a .22 won't do. In my opinion, it may sound crazy, but I think, if you live in the city, a shotgun loaded with birdshot, for doves. It will still kill an intruder, or at least put them down, and it won't overpenetrate walls. If you live in the country, an AR-15 and hopefully some hearing protection if you have time to throw that on because after that first shot, your hearing will be momentarily gone and situational awareness along with it. Also, have a light attached to the firearm.
I appreciate your perspective and you articulate it well, but I still cannot grasp the notion of anyone but me dying should I possess a firearm. The 'gangland style' home invasion of which you speak? ... really?, that prevalent? I've no facts to back up but sounds a bit urban myth and my guess is one is as likely to suffer that as is to be swarmed by Killer Bees.
Tom Holihan That's like saying your afraid to get a driver's license and operate a vehicle because you are afraid of dying in it. A firearm is not very difficult to operate, and there are plenty of firearms courses you can take as well to get you up to speed and educated and whatnot. As for the multiple armed intruders, it does happen, happened to a buddy of mine. I had a single intruder break into my house, but I still would not condone using a .22. I'm not trying to be mean because you are certainly entitled to your opinion, but it's people similar to yourself, with a similar mentality that are pro gun control when really those laws only hurt the good guys (law abiding gun owners). Sad...
Robert Henrichs If intruders know you're armed, they probably will be, too, if you're present, thus increasing the chances you'll get shot, especially if they first go for said weapon. The best solution to the problem still is living in the civilized world.
Sorry, perhaps I wasn't clear enough. If you live in the civilized world, there are no home invasions. Ever heard about Japan ? Far less inequalities, no home invasions, no guns, no gun crime or accidents, go figure. On a side note, thieves who do their job properly need not resort to weapons, but seems like amateurs abound in your area. When some neighbourhoods in your country yield more gun deaths than war zones in Somalia, it might be time to be humble and admit the problem isn't solving itself.
You're either completely insane, or american :| When I lived in Africa, we got burgled, with absolutely no clue. They managed to go above the walls, escaping the attention of our dogs and our guardians, through the windows' iron gratings, the window itself, through the house, and got the TV and VCR they came from. They had done their homework. Fact is, no one got hurt, and only _things_ were missing. You might think you'll always win a gunfight in this scenario, I doubt it. But we never lived in fear despite that, we just got a bit more cautious. Living in fear while never having been the victim of such events, on the contrary, is quite irrational, as traffic accidents are probably a far higher danger, not to mention relatively easy to solve by moving. As for Japan's statistics, I have heard of no such controversy, and I4d like to see your source, you also need to remember every country arranges his stats as it sees fit. I'm nonetheless not convinced thousands of gun deaths are swept under the carpet, and same goes for home invasions, but hey, you've been brainwashed into thinking your country is number one _everywhere_ (including incarceration rates and excluding infant mortality and life expectancy *coughcough*), so no matter you doubt anything that might contradict that. Concerning the UK, I have no source either, and you should remember correlation does not equate with causality, especially on short periods of time. As for the origins of guns, you forget, on purpose or not, that legal guns are an excellent source of illegal guns, as I discreetly inferred when saying burglars would prioritize getting to your guns. But I strongly feel you've heard my arguments before, just as I've already heard and debunked yours many times.
I like how he just casually adds a little detail like burning someone's car for the insurance, and then NEVER comes back to it. xD
Well, it was the 80's after all.
@@jimpickens4 The 80's in Boston. You could park your car and it would be stolen before you walked off the lot.
Comedy is fundamentally about incongruity. Something has to seem out of place. The sickle is the prime example here. The casual-ness of mentioning something that comes out of nowhere is also like thisn
0:44 love how he censored himself there like a pro, even though he knew there is tape delay and a bleeper...
@@ratcrib He didn't. He was gonna say "with your little gun" and he said "with your little... your little gun". He wasn't going it swear. Not that it matters.
I love how even Elijah Wood is getting a kick out of bill.
"Even Elijah Wood?" Elijah Wood is a dude that gets a kick out of everything.
@@Sidowse He became not only the ringbearer, but also a respected hooligan, he can receive all of it.
Didn't need a single question for a whole segment, just came in and started full power, that is why I love Bill
King of Staten Island.. That was the exact role Bill played 😂
"With a sickle" I dunno why but this is one of the funniest lines I've ever heard on a talk show
I think he meant a scythe
@@frosty12k86 that's not remotely funny. A sickle as a murder weapon is hilarious
@@frosty12k86 I think he meant a sickle.
@@IsaacHozz agreed, Conan is the one who doesn't know the difference between a sickle and a scythe ;P
@@frosty12k86 I know what you did last summer
I think we need a character in GTA VI based on Bill Burr
Yes. The main character.
for sure! ))
He's scuffed Trevor.
A mixture of him and dale gribble would be the cat's pajamas.
I'd say Micheal is a lot like bill burr... actually the more I think. Micheal is exactly like bill burr... holyshit...
"It was the 80's"
-Bill Cosby in court
Suck an underrated comment!
@@sharlynnbadonie5950 No thank you, they're too salty for me ;)
@@YaBoiJeffe haha I ment such not suck lol now that's a weird insult.
I genuinely think that if bill wasn't funny he would be extremely dangerous
Oisin D Sounds reasonable haha
I like Bill Burr, not because of his pessimistic humor, but because of his genuine personality. I wish everyone could be as genuine as Bill Burr.
Michael Magill if everybody was genuine like bill burr bill burr wouldnt be bill burr anymore but just a fake bill burr. this is madness dont wish shit anymurr
papichulobumber1 Yeah totally agree, except the part where you said everything in that bullshit paragraph.
Michael Magill you had my attention... but you shouldve stopped writing after that comma though.
its perfectly simple son, you wish everbody is as genuine as bill burr. but if everbody is just as genuine as bill burr the ungenuine(?)would become interesting. your wishes are stupid. dont catch mermaids bitch
Michael Magill whats my fucking gotta do with it?
papichulobumber1 You're funny.
you can tell Bill absolutely enjoys being in Conan's show.
He just chills and vents whatever the hell comes in his mind with no worries.
I died when he said “drop the engine out of your car”
RIP
The Woke Police thanks. Haha!
Comedy rule of threes
Bill Burr's references have the speed and silliness of animation. Glad he got the animation gig.
It's an homage to the Richard Pryor story when he killed his car
Its truly a talent how Bill can fabricate an entire story on the spot, and make it funnier than fellow big-name comics. Hand down one of the funniest guys of all time.
+Bryce Kusnierz You don't know if it's not written in advance. It wouldn't be less funny...
+Delph Zouzou He has a podcast filled with this endless material and hes been doing it an hour every monday for years. definitely not scripted.
Josh Day
It's the same, if he has "tons of material" and is doing this "every monday for years", then it's not "fabricated on the spot" like the OP stated.
But, like I said, it's not a problem since it's funny and that's all we ask for...
Luis Dias
Ok, thx for your input. I like artists who put themselves in trouble to stimulate their creativity...
It was part of his act
"We went down the street, someone burned a car for insurance" hahah this was the funniest part to me, how he so nonchalantly says that, and not one person laughs.
i died at that
+Elijah Taliesin rip
Well, "It was the '80s."
I’m sure it’s because the audience couldn’t breathe. That whole story was gold.
Deadpan humor is the best.
Bill’s description of the motel scenario is just No Country For Old Men
Greedy Gamer that's what woke his fear of motels
Exactly what came to mind, that shotgun suppressor was nasty
That’s also why I have a subconscious fear of motels.
Watch City of God and you will see he is right.
Motels are lonely and creepy at times.
"It was the 80s" is definitely a legit explanation for fuckery.
Ang Ro the good ol times when nothing was recorded
It was the 80's God I miss it. People actually playing outside 😂
John Ree amen brother
I miss the 80's..
That was Patrick Bateman's excuse.
Bill Burr is my hero. He talks about everything we're too uncomfortable to address and makes us both laugh and think about it.
But he's still such a nice, compassionate guy behind that tough guy demeanor.
Ahhh, like my dad before me, I'm UN-PC !!!
Not sure if I'd call it a tough guy demeanor but I get you
You... have my nickname... I thought I was the only one. Lol :)
Judas Iscariot according to Louie Ck yes
Judas Iscariot he blocked the door thou
"Bill Burr Baggings teaches Frodo how to kill"
underrated
Billburr is a straight up hobbit name
He already knows how with a sword at least lol
Lmao nice
You're a genius
I almost died from alcohol and for years I struggled with depression there was times I felt numb and I knew if I listened to my bull burr videos actually bought me 48 hours of calm and happiness
Just realized that all of Bill burrs funniest clips are all on Conan.
Bill Burr and Team Coco ftw
We have to go back Kate! WE HAVE TO GO BACK!!!!
you should also check out his stand up acts, he is great.
I do, and his stage acts are insanely funny. Right when he gets on stage, you can tell he wants to get passed the hellos' to everyone and just start the comedy. The first statement has everyone LOL. In a way, I don't see him as an act, he is himself which is golden really.
His podcast is even better because you really get to see how his brain works and how he shapes his acts and comedy bits.
supastar yeah I listen to his podcasts and podcast clips all the time, always killer
"A sickle? Is he harvesting wheat? What is he doing?"
"Well it was the '80s."
Nater K A valid excuse. That’s my excuse for my big ass hair and fishnets I was wearing at the time.
No, he is harvesting meat.
Jerry curl...
"You've been to Mr. Maggot's crops!"
I thought he said weed
dude with the sickle was a reapist
horeable reapist
What a pun 😂
Put "Milk steak", she'll know what it is.
*Scythe.
LMAO
It's like watching a step-father trying to bond with his stepson.
Such a great comment! Had me rolling.
"The King of Staten Island"
Bill plays a step dad who bonds with his step son
My step-dad actually gave me a 22 to have at the house and said it's perfect for an intruder lol
Basically the plot of Elijah’s movie Come to Daddy
🤣🤣
"WITH A SICKLE!"
Popsicle? What flavor?
PopSickle
I'm sickle Rick!
or a bitchpik.
If I ever go crazy and break into someone's house I'm going to make sure that's my weapon of choice, lol.
"So, if they take a hostage you can just start shooting at them."
This is why Bill Burr makes me laugh. He's just funny.
I love Bill Burr, I told my wife about him and she and my son were busting a gut watching him on Netflix tonight when I got home from work. Thank You Bill for existing, your our generations George Carlin RIP.
+Timothy Ryan Fisher No arguments here.
I love that Elijah Wood appreciates Bill as much as we do.
"It was the 80s"... code for "we were doing coke" XD
Or shooting a gun on a lunch break wasn't a crazy thing to do at the time
It's the 80s... do a lot of coke, and vote for Ronald Reagan.
@@WVUer21 the small little detail left out in every "The Goldbergs" episode ahah
"It was the '80s" = No Cell Phone Cameras.
scampoli25 it still isn’t. Come to rural New Hampshire.
tell me if I'm crazy. But I really like it when the first guest hangs out for the second guest on those talk shows and then the two celebrities interact with each other. I guess it makes me feel like they're they're regular people when they just talk to each other. The best example of this was the Conan O'Brien episode where it was Tom Selleck, The Big Show, and Sue Johanson the old lady sex expert and they were all on at the same time and it was very funny.
Stuart Otis you'd like the graham Norton show then when they have American celebrities on
Stuart Otis watch the late late show
@Human Resources
He is not the funniest comedian but he's very... how do I say this.. engaging, he always knows what to say, what to ask etc. and he always has a good comeback joke.
His show is the best because he basically brings 3-4 celebrities and asks them questions, its just brilliant, it lets celebrities be the funny ones instead of the comedian interviewing them, and most celebrities are naturally funny.
I wish more guests would stay like Elijah did here, especially when a comedian comes on after them. It's great to see them crack up.
agreed
forlornspawn817 No doubt! When did that format die? All of a sudden the first guest is in too big a hurry to catch the Red-Eye?
thats why i got turned on to the UKs graham norton show. you should check it out. start with the one with steve carell and kristen wiig. its epic.
AKABoondock19
I've watched it on a few occasions. It's pretty good depending on the guests. If the guests don't interact well together it just becomes awkward. But to be honest, I find Graham a bit irritating most times.
forlornspawn817
i think hes hilarious but to each his own
I also love the fact that Bill was cool to Elijah. I’m a huge fan of both of these guys.
conan makes bill look like a dwarf and bill makes Elijah look like a hobbit.
there's the Lord of the rings reference
Yeah, it's Frodo and Billburr Baggins.
+Mike Cappadocia And old Andy is Samwise!
And Elijah makes Andy look like Sam
all that's missing is kevin hart and it would look like cell phone signal bars.
This displays perfectly what Bill was detailing in his special. In the North East when he talks about the guy he did landscaping for coming out with a .38 to go shoot a burned-out car, everyone laughs hysterically at it-- in the South, everyone just stares back at him like "yeah, so, what's the rest of the story?".
yeah i'm from nc and it just reminds me how some of the things that are normal here are considered pretty damn crazy in other places lol
I'm from Maine and I've discovered some of our local phrases are wicked weird.
Such as?
like "ayuh!" lol (not from maine but i've heard it said by main-ers)
TheTaterTotP80 en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maine_accent
I watched this after watching Bill's Netflix special, I'm Sorry You Feel That Way
During the same gun bit, he stops and mentions that people are usually laughing by this time, but since he was in the South, people just sat there staring at him...probably one of the funniest lines I've ever heard. I was wondering if it was off the cuff, or planned
After watching this, I noticed that the crowd was already cracking up when he explained that he was doing landscaping for some guy, probably because it sounds ridiculous
That made the bit in the special even more funny to me because it was really off the cuff, and totally true!
Unfortunately, in the south - people shoot stuff whenever the hell they get the urge. Street signs, garbage cans, mail boxes. I live right off a busy street and not a weekend night goes by without a few caps going off within a block or so. Texas. It's overrated. lol
Unfortunately? Shooting is fun as heck.
one of the reasons why i have at least 3 of his specials in rotation. each album has a special spontaneous moment, it seriously does! whether its a heckler or the story you said above, it always lines up for ol' billy red-face
Shooting is fun. I see it as a sport still, a focus for men. I was talking to some friends about shooting, and now days it just sucks in a city. You have to travel somewhere just to get to a gun range, it's cool to have them, but freedoms do get lost in a city for men whom like guns. In the mountains you can do it.
It is fun but gotta be careful. Not long ago someone "got shot at" while showering. Turned out it was just some people shooting at cans but one or two of the bullets made it to the other guy's house. That's why you can't shoot in a populated area, because people are morons.
It's not that freedom is lost, it's just that your freedom ends where the freedom of another begins. You are free to shot your gun but I'm free to take a shower without the fear of some moron shooting through my window.
I guess that's why Bill's talking so loud. He damaged his hearing back in the '80s by firing a gun.
Hahaha finally an explanation
Hahaha 😆
😂🤣😆😆
I bet you if he read this he will laugh
Can confirm. Too much loud music, and louder gunfire, will turn up your volume later on.
Remember your ear protection, kids.
I watched this video more than 10 times only today. My stomach hurts of laughing in that sickle part. Bill Burr is a legend.
Watch Bill Burr "I'm sorry you feel that way" it's on Netflix.
I was eating cottage cheese when that joke was made, cottage cheese may or may not have been sprayed everywhere...
You put pepper on your cottage cheese?
@@ChuckKeough bruh, I put Cavender's greek seasoning on mine... Hell, most my fam put that on there with some applesauce (!), no less.
2:45 DAT SYNCHRONIZATION
I have searched for this comment
steamy
Marshall Lee I just done did it, that's all lmao
Gingers operate on the same wavelength
No joke put two gingers in a room that's what you get!
Bill Burr's thought process is just pure comedy, he doesnt even have to try, he just says his thoughts and its hilarious, everytime.
"Guy's coming up at you with a sickle-"
"WITH A SICKLE!?"
Bill Bur Baggins
chewie caramel tremendous
honestly “I was doing some landscaping for this guy” is all the explanation you need. I’m a landscaper and I have seen people (coworkers) shoot at a bunch of squash randomly in the middle of the day
Fair Enough! 😶😶😬
It's squash, Sydney. It deserves to be shot at.
@@elizabetholiviaclark ಠ_ಠ😅
@@elizabetholiviaclark were you molested by squash? 🤣🤣🤣
Bill Burr's grandchildren : Grandpa, tell us a story
*Bill Burr : So, it was the 80's...*
Bill Burr's grandchildren : Nevermind we're going to bed
Bill Burr : All according to plan. **turns on Jeopardy**
Opposite
Yeah - Actually if Bill starts a story with "So, it was the 80s..." I for one am definitely sticking around to hear it.
Bill had kids in his 50s, he's not gonna live to see his grandkids lol
"With a sickle? What is he, harvesting wheat?"
No. I think he's harvesting souls.
No that's a scythe
@@frosty12k86 a scythe is just a big sickle, so...
@Noah Lewis they literally have the same function you muppet!
@Noah Lewis Almost the same tho…
Sickle = Sichel in German, Scythe = Sense in German
Sichel = one hand operation for cutting weeds, herbs and small plants
Sense = two-hand operation for cutting grass, crops and bodies of women to get rid of the evidence
Their reaction to the sickle was priceless
The .22 advice is incredibly helpful. The walls of a house are way easier to break than most people think.
only in murica
*american walls
yep. my thought is always. if i have a .22 pointed at their face or a 357 magnum...are they going to treat it differently?
@@PeterSedesse They don't know the difference , and it's better to rip off a half a dozen 22 longs into somebodies chest than to try to hit their face with a 357 .
@@PeterSedesse
The enemy can take cover behind a wall, and you can't - unless they're dumb enough to burglarize a home with a .22 pistol.
Not saying you need .357 (that's an enormous jump) but I would recommend at least 9 mm. Or get a shotgun with birdshot ammo and call it a night.
"....this guy's coming around your bed with a sickle." I completely lost it X'D
wth is a sickle? I'm sitting here thinking about a guy coming around with a wizarding coin in his hand...
Lmao me too
@Roses I wasn't completely sure back when I commented this actually. So I just googled it and it's one of those farming tools that is shaped like a semicircle at the top and it has like three sharp prongs.
Roses A sickle and scythe are the same thing, except a sickle is for one hand and a scythe is for two. A sickle is across the hammer on the Soviet flag.
This it the craft of a true comedian. He's thought about the sentence structure and the funniest thing to put in the murderer's hand while also being threatening is a sickle. A true professional at work here.
“Somebody burned a car for insurance” is underrated
Nah.
I come back and watch this every so often, Bill Burr is the reason that I refuse to stay at a motel for the last 5 years. He’s 100% correct
I want the fixed wide angle of this so I can see Elijah's and Andy's reactions to every word bill says
Hearing Elijah's chuckles in the back makes me happy!
He's adorbs.
The sound of defenseless kids trapped in my basement makes me happy!
Ok so these two need to be in a film together.
lol exactly
“ I totally relate to that.”
Called "the Sickle"
goddamn you're everywhere on youtube
STFU to all others like him check his DISCUSSION TAB session HE IS A FKING BASTARD IN A CULT
This is why Conan's one of my favorite hosts when he interviews guests like this. He's so much more comfortable with the humor, his laughs always sound genuine, and he's not afraid to throw jabs at a story that have crazy details; "A sickle? Is he harvesting wheat, what is he doing?" XD
It's the 80's
Burning a car for insurance money
A guy running around a bed wielding a sickle
Fear of motels
The recipe for a great story
No Country For Old Men
Scarface?
Sounds like a Coen Brothers film.
This video almost made me cry hes so funny.
Yevgenii Kisarauskas Often true but not always, there are some exceptions. I personally find Will Ferrel incredibly funny in these sorts of situations.
Yevgenii Kisarauskas Sandler is a stand-up, but i understand what you mean
Yevgenii Kisarauskas Have you ever seen any interviews with Will Ferrell or some of his speeches at award shows (particularly his hilarious speech after winning the Mark Twain Comedy prize)? Will's a very funny guy and also very good at impersonations and generallly improvising (many of his films are largely improvised). And Sandler's a standup comedian as well (even though I don't find him funny). I really can't think of any talented film comedians who wouldn't be able to be funny in interviews as well (Mel Brooks, Peter Sellers, Robin Williams etc. all proved they can be funny anywhere at any time, Williams of course was a standup, I know).
This video made me cry three times, and this only happens when I watch bill burr. Only.
Tom Waits i have never once laughed at will ferrell. i might've cracked a smile, but he is not that funny to me.
"So you wanna go with the 22 caliber"
I legitimately spit out my drink just now. Classic Bill Burr
"This guy is coming around your bed with a sickle!" (1:53) I was crying laughing! xD
I live alone and I know exactly what he's talking about "You're what's for dinner".
Mastikator no you don't nobody eats you/likes you.
Stop eating....get fit....learn to fight....be civil, stay away from dropkicks....sleep like a baby.
A lot of comedians come onto talk shows with some jokes rehersed and thats fine, I'm not knocking on that, but what makes Bill special is how he's able to crank out clever jokes based on someone else's story. A clear indication that he's improvising on the spot and people are loving it.
That little giggle is priceless 😂 0:57
one of my favorite stand-up comics of all time XD
I lost my shit when he said sickle.
Nikesh Patel you shat your pants? ah man, sorry to hear that. Hope you cleaned that up by now.
Just got to this recommended video after watching that 'Sarah Silverman is Hitler' skit...Jeez, what a breath of fresh comedic air.
AngelofDeath3000 who is?
ur an idiot for clicking on her vids
Football Awsomeee I highly doubt that Sarah Silverman did a 180 degrees and went from bad to good in just 1 Netflix special
Yet she makes more money then anyone in this comment section. Obviously somebody likes her.
CypressCinemaClub at least she had something to sell. You worthless sack of garbage
I love how connan just pretends to be appalled by Bill and just creates the best comedy dynamic
He was NOT about to say “little gun” at min 0:44 😂
we all know what he really wanted to say if u seen his specials 😂😂
that sickle part was so unexpected
Raffino Jonathans thats burr lol
one on one me sickles only
I need more invincibility frames
derk sools?
Doug Dimadome you cow griefer, get outta here.. I used to respect you..
Meet me on rust
I think Bill Burr is hands down my favorite comedian 😂
Elijah Wood goin' ham on them jokes with his high pitched ass giggle.
goin' ham? What does that mean?
Elijah Wood's laugh is my favorite thing in the world.
Bill Burr is mine.
Just try and forget all the good times... Potato ?
Elijahwoodfangirl 13 Considering your name im sure you've seen the prank that Dom Monaghan played on him. His amazing laugh is on full display
Revolio Clockberg Jr it was pretty great
A sickle
😂😂😂😂
lol
"What is he, harvesting wheat?"
Lines like this remind me that he once wrote for the simpsons. Dude is hilarious.
blahbleh yeah, he's always funnier when he's just riffing off the top of his head, not when he's saying what his writers have written
We need a “Home Alone” style movie with Bill Burr. The premise: Bill’s wife leaves with the kids to go stay with her mother. The burglars don’t know Bill is home cause they’ve never actually seen him leave the house. The whole movie is Bill trying to call his wife but she doesn’t believe him, so he is on his own to fend off the burglars.
"she doesn't believe him" hahahah
Interesting idea but it doesn't work, he could just call the cops or just scream and the neighbours would come to help...
@@TheDennys21 The neighbors have heard him screaming before, they don't think anything of it.
Bill he's got a sharp mind. Conan says the perfect logical reply. hilarious !
cndvd
Bill's on here a lot. Conan plays off him brilliantly
How do some men sit like elijah wood? I tried and almost burst a testicle
He is very gifted man.
President Jeb Bush lol
+Cam Par I know right?, just look at how Andy and Bill are sitting, thats more like it.
+Cam Par he has small testicles?
+1DX2020 Ovaries, I presume
'Cause he's a fuckin' QUEEAH
Elijah Wood has PTSD from the Black riders sneaking up on him at night.
Exactly lol!! 😂😂 Or from carrying the ring and that golems face
i love how bill just take control of the conversation with such ease.
1:55
"and you're shooting the wrong way" LMAO. I never noticed he said that.
the actual standup he does for the 22 story is hilarious, i recommend everyone listen to it.
HIs stand up is seriously epic.
yeah that bit was great
The one from "I'm Sorry You Feel That Way"?
Yeah
As a Brotha....just wanted to say.....BILL BURR IS THE ABSOLUTE BEST.....HE IS THE MAN, PERIOD.🔱
brotha?
Ron Ash, I'm sorry sir but I just don't get why you had to start off with "As a brotha." What does your race have to do with Bill being funny?
Ron Ash Ron ash is the most non brotha brotha name. Ron ash is like Obamas second cousin.
@@jleffel6969 You sonuva bitch *CLAP*
@@ltatumus Typically within the black community you wouldnt hear another black male say they're into Bill Burr. Not because of shame but just not being familiar. Perspectives sir. Cant be quick to take offense.
1:41 it's throwaway details like this that make his stories so wonderful 😂
I'm running out of Bill Burr videos to watch.
Look up bill burr and Joe DeRosa uninformed
Give Norm a run. You won't be sorry.
They just uploaded more!!!
@@musichead1 those are audios
Elijah is a weird dude, but he's also pretty awesome. Perfect guy to play a hobbit by his size and the way his face looks.
I'm noticing more and more as I get older that weird people are the most genuine and that makes me enjoy my own weirdness a lot more (as in it's my favourite part of myself now)
I always imagine a dude with a hatchet, a chainsaw, and Freddy's glove breaking in. That's why I have a cursed dagger and the skeletal remains of local dead serial killers in case I need to deal with supernatural mass murderers.
Elijah: “I don’t have any weapons in my house”
Also Elijah: *has at least one Sting that he can stab intruders with*
laying there in me undies
+Lane Williams It could have been a shameless plug.
no more sweaty balls
Maybe next to a LaYDY
+mr J P De boop boop boop Me undies Me undies
no more sweaty clam bedooobadooby
Who else loves Elijah Woods’s laughter in the background?? 😂😂
When I was young I didn't know why Conan was so great. He makes other people funnier. I know Burr's stand up act and Conan is teeing him up for his jokes.
I love that secretly Elijah is super into this, because of his huge affinity for horror.
I remember in his standup in Atlanta how he said most crowds start dying when he mentions he went to go shoot a .38 with his boss and it's hilarious to see how right he was with this clip. That's the difference between California and Georgia right there lol
He makes a great point. The more powerful your gun is, the more screwed you are if you miss.
He makes a stupid point, a .22 handgun has very little stopping power. You want something that will put an intruder down on the ground in one shot, not 15 shots.
@@CryptoDatabase It's best to just nuke em. They'll drop dead like a fly. We don't worry if it was a teenager playing truth or dare, or a hobo looking to sell your pet bird, cause he's gone. No evidence. You're gone, too, and don't have to go to court.
@T REX You clearly don't know anything about guns.
@T REX "Stopping power is the ability of a firearm or other weapon to cause a target (human or animal) to be incapacitated, and thus stop the target"
You can't seriously believe the bullshit you are posting...
Bill Burr helps Elijah Wood look like 100 times cooler with his rant
Elijah giggling is everything.
Bill Burr is top five living comedians. top 15 all-time
Lets hear your lists...
#3 Comedian of all time behind Dave Chappelle & Robin Williams
@@yourfairyGodgod you say top 3 and then you cite 2 comdiens
@@yourfairyGodgod Listen to George Carlin
@@Lrripper Yes, because Bill is 3rd...
Elijah Wood is actually pretty cool, he's been on the Opie & Anthony show a couple times.
Rick P dude wtf is opie and Anthony I keep hearing about that
it's a podcast/radio show.
It's like Bob and Tom
Uhhlaneuh Used to be a radio show.
It is now Jim and Sam because Anthony got fired from Sirius for a “racist tweet” (which really wasn’t) and opie has got fired as well.
Any Bill Burr fan knows how hard he's focusing on not cursing
You Sure As Hell Can Say, "It Was the 80's", To Explain Anything We Did Back Then & It's Legit.
“Next thing you know he’s coming around the bd with a sickle.”
😭😭😭😂😂😂🙌🏽😭😂😂
The El Camino writers must have wanted to put in a little tribute to Bill's conversation about the .22. ;)
Was just thinking that.
In my area there was a string of violent home invasions where people from the rougher areas were breaking into homes like 4 guys with ski masks and shotguns. More and more home invasions are involving multiple assailants. Usually people just think some single random bad guy in all black kicking in your back door like an ADT commercial, but many times it's not like that and a .22 won't do. In my opinion, it may sound crazy, but I think, if you live in the city, a shotgun loaded with birdshot, for doves. It will still kill an intruder, or at least put them down, and it won't overpenetrate walls. If you live in the country, an AR-15 and hopefully some hearing protection if you have time to throw that on because after that first shot, your hearing will be momentarily gone and situational awareness along with it. Also, have a light attached to the firearm.
I appreciate your perspective and you articulate it well, but I still cannot grasp the notion of anyone but me dying should I possess a firearm. The 'gangland style' home invasion of which you speak? ... really?,
that prevalent? I've no facts to back up but sounds a bit urban myth and my guess is one is as likely to suffer that as is to be swarmed by Killer Bees.
Tom Holihan
That's like saying your afraid to get a driver's license and operate a vehicle because you are afraid of dying in it. A firearm is not very difficult to operate, and there are plenty of firearms courses you can take as well to get you up to speed and educated and whatnot. As for the multiple armed intruders, it does happen, happened to a buddy of mine. I had a single intruder break into my house, but I still would not condone using a .22. I'm not trying to be mean because you are certainly entitled to your opinion, but it's people similar to yourself, with a similar mentality that are pro gun control when really those laws only hurt the good guys (law abiding gun owners). Sad...
Robert Henrichs
If intruders know you're armed, they probably will be, too, if you're present, thus increasing the chances you'll get shot, especially if they first go for said weapon.
The best solution to the problem still is living in the civilized world.
Sorry, perhaps I wasn't clear enough.
If you live in the civilized world, there are no home invasions. Ever heard about Japan ? Far less inequalities, no home invasions, no guns, no gun crime or accidents, go figure.
On a side note, thieves who do their job properly need not resort to weapons, but seems like amateurs abound in your area.
When some neighbourhoods in your country yield more gun deaths than war zones in Somalia, it might be time to be humble and admit the problem isn't solving itself.
You're either completely insane, or american :|
When I lived in Africa, we got burgled, with absolutely no clue. They managed to go above the walls, escaping the attention of our dogs and our guardians, through the windows' iron gratings, the window itself, through the house, and got the TV and VCR they came from. They had done their homework.
Fact is, no one got hurt, and only _things_ were missing. You might think you'll always win a gunfight in this scenario, I doubt it. But we never lived in fear despite that, we just got a bit more cautious. Living in fear while never having been the victim of such events, on the contrary, is quite irrational, as traffic accidents are probably a far higher danger, not to mention relatively easy to solve by moving.
As for Japan's statistics, I have heard of no such controversy, and I4d like to see your source, you also need to remember every country arranges his stats as it sees fit. I'm nonetheless not convinced thousands of gun deaths are swept under the carpet, and same goes for home invasions, but hey, you've been brainwashed into thinking your country is number one _everywhere_ (including incarceration rates and excluding infant mortality and life expectancy *coughcough*), so no matter you doubt anything that might contradict that.
Concerning the UK, I have no source either, and you should remember correlation does not equate with causality, especially on short periods of time.
As for the origins of guns, you forget, on purpose or not, that legal guns are an excellent source of illegal guns, as I discreetly inferred when saying burglars would prioritize getting to your guns.
But I strongly feel you've heard my arguments before, just as I've already heard and debunked yours many times.
I love how Burr described the Killer like he was straight out a 80s Horror Slasher movie.
Bill Burr is sick, brilliant and hilarious!
"I was doing landscaping for this guy..." I LOST it that doesn't even make sense.
Bill is on my Top Ten list for Earth’s Funniest Humans.
I like how he just casually adds a little detail like burning someone's car for the insurance, and then NEVER comes back to it. xD
When you realize Bill Burr was an awkward sense of humor away from being the Joker IRL
What happens when you realize? I think you forgot to finish that comment.