Thank you for the words of wisdom a true blessing Totally resonates, unfortunately for me, but now I've learned a good understanding why thank Thank you best wishes love abundance n light🫠
I'm so with you on this!! It's so heartbreaking to of given fully of your self only to realize you have waisted your time and energy all along 😢. We are worth way more then this!!! Stand Strong and hold yourself worth value!!!
Please consider everything that could possibly be going on in his/her life. People have bills to pay, a full-time job and domestic responsibilities. Not everyone has the time to be dating these days.
You are so right. I've been in a relationship for 5+ years and he started pulling away. I said my peace and left him alone. It was hard, but to keep my sanity, I choose me.
o that is good, valerie. yep. i chose me too, a long time, again, never will be in a situation like that again. 6 to 8 years almost, back and forth him pull away,then try creepin back, done, for good and that was a long time ago. im much happier choosing me, love how i am older, wise now, out of 20s, when that was going on, never ever again. and if EVA still here, i agree, with you. g-night."
Omg right!! I had to get out of a marriage, it almost destroyed me. Still figuring out how to move forward and be the best version of who I was before him
He pulls away when I confront him about him lying to me or being deceitful. And he ghosts me to manipulate me and make me feel guilty for things he has done wrong.
I'm no longer interested in a romantic relationship. With anyone. It just costs too much, and too many opportunities for deception. Would destroy my peaceful existence. Destroy my peace. No good will come of it.
As I’ve come to learn, sometimes communication just doesn’t work and all you get is the cold shoulder. That is the clue to just leave and wrap things up. What else can you do if you’re trying and still get nothing. I don’t have time for anything one sided.
I was secure before him. He literally turned my mind upside down and my heart inside out. I’m working on finding my way back to myself but I know I won’t be the same again.
No you won't be the same, you will be BETTER. Now you have something to share with others that are going through or will go through what could have broke you. You should not let this define you🙏🏿♥️🙏🏾
You will become stronger & wiser which is better than you were... It is an opportunity for your growth, love... Self reflection & Self-worth... Boundaries..
I noticed his attitude towards me changed. I had approached the subject a couple times, he claimed everything was good between us, but his actions didn't show that- that was my cue to walk away.
I did the same thing in the past. I just walked away, because it drains too much energy. I explained this before walking away, and there was no response. Ridiculous
I can relate. I was doing just fine living and loving my life just to have someone come and disturb my peace and happiness. I’m more mad at myself for allowing said person to even get to me…he likes to take more than he gives and always has an excuse. Why bother me at all then. I was perfectly happy. Time to go back to my normal life before he ever even stepped foot in it.
Me too. I was happy on my own and hadn’t dated for 5 yrs then he pursued me relentlessly, sweet talk, love bomb, and it felt good. Had a fun for a year then pulls away and says he needs to be on his own. I’m heartbroken💔
I don't think I need to let someone know I'll be talking to other men if he keeps pulling away. I'll just do it and if it works out with someone else I'll be moved on with him. No need to announce it ahead of time.
Wow I am Soo glad came across this video. Especially the part you said " he love bombs you then it's like he pulls a rug out from under you and goes distant.
I ask him if everything is ok and he just says he's been busy. But every time we get close he pulls away. We've been friends for a long time and this 'pulling away' behavior has been ongoing for years! However, recently, it seemed like our friendship was getting deeper and going to another level. I think he started feeling something he couldn't handle and didn't know what to do with. So now when he texts, he gives me short questions and responses. Something has definitely changed.
All I can say we each individually are responsible for our own growth, evolution, and transformation. We either do it together in a relationship, partnership, familyship, friendship, communityship or we do it alone. You gotta know when to throw in the towel of wasting your energy on the growth of other people who clearly cant/wont change and turn INWARD and focus on ourselves. Evolved people are better people. Wasting energy and time especially on the wrong people, places, and things will likely leave you battered, insecure, and drained. ❤
If he pulls away, is it best to just let him be rather than reaching out? I want to stay in my feminine energy and have heard from other coaches let him pursue you.
I was single and secure for 3 years before I met him. The honeymoon phase was great then his divorce papers arrived and he changed. He stated he was depressed and had mental health issues. I thought my support patience and love would help him get through this. I was dead wrong. His disrespect was like a hamster wheel. He knew what was going on and felt guilty, so he walked away. I could not let him make me feel insecure any longer. Thank you for this video, it helped me so much✌️
He was one sided with everything from day one. I brought him up time and time again. Then turn around and want to threaten on leaving. Yet for some reason I kept bringing it up and telling him. Well I end up not being happy any more because he's not listening or just don't care. Finally I said what I had to say and walk away. Lord have mercy lesson learned.
You are 100% right. My husband has changed after 16 years of marriage. He doesn't satisfy my emotional needs. Whenever I bring up an issue, I'm told I'm too emotional and dismiss whatever was said. We hardly communicate and He's now interested in polygmy, 🤦🏾♀️. "It's not a sin, it's biblical." he says. Help!
I agree with you 2000%. The worst thing you could do is jump the gun start criticizing. Or putting out there what you’re not going to put up with like yeah that would be really bad.
This is what happened to me recently recently the only mistake I did I retaliated due to high emotions I had to yell at him which I wish I wouldn't have done.
Thank you, Sir. Very helpful. ... and yes, exited a 6 year narcissistic relationship a year ago. Took 2 years to end. I am now 99.9% healed. So happy this video popped up on my feed.
It’s never too late ❤ walk away and see how you go girl he can only come back when he’s changing or accountable and ready to change! Get yourself back :) x
He was love bombing me and leaving me on read.I addressed the issue in a calm way as this was not the first time. He came back with some bs answer, so i gracefully walked away without no explanation, i didn't argue i just simply just walked away and got on with my life. Thankfully, we were just dating and had not been intimate even though i have known him for years. Im sure someone from above was looking out for me 😌
*You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won't mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever.*
I adore how you define " humanity" in such a creative way. If people would get passed the ideology everyone is out to take something and identify we need ea other and we all have to work together to define what can or can't be given...you've made a great sacrifice yourself to TEACH. ( thank You!)
Your a blessing. I pray you continue to be blessed for sharing your gift of knowledge and wisdom to the world and people like myself. I appreciate your post🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
“NEVER give anyone more of what they are already wasting.” BOOM! Mic drop.
Amen!
Amen
DAYUM!!!!!
Thank you for the words of wisdom a true blessing Totally resonates, unfortunately for me, but now I've learned a good understanding why thank Thank you best wishes love abundance n light🫠
I'm so with you on this!! It's so heartbreaking to of given fully of your self only to realize you have waisted your time and energy all along 😢. We are worth way more then this!!! Stand Strong and hold yourself worth value!!!
I'm not asking nothing. He pull away, I'm pulling myself the hell away too.
Exactly 💯💯 that's the answer 👏👏✅
Yeah girl !! 👏👏👏
Amen!
Exactly
Some of them are playing games and want you to chase them! ☝️
We too old to do that. That high school behavior. Not attractive.
Facts!
Please consider everything that could possibly be going on in his/her life. People have bills to pay, a full-time job and domestic responsibilities. Not everyone has the time to be dating these days.
YES!!!!!
@@JamaicanToast
What if he ghost you for 5 days? Does it also apply here?
You are so right. I've been in a relationship for 5+ years and he started pulling away. I said my peace and left him alone. It was hard, but to keep my sanity, I choose me.
5 years too long....CONGRATS GURL....
o that is good, valerie. yep. i chose me too, a long time, again, never will be in a situation like that again. 6 to 8 years almost, back and forth him pull away,then try creepin back, done, for good and that was a long time ago. im much happier choosing me, love how i am older, wise now, out of 20s, when that was going on, never ever again. and if EVA still here, i agree, with you. g-night."
Amen sister ❤
Same!!
Your views are way up there. Thank you!❤
Went in confident and strong, left insecure!!!
Omg right!! I had to get out of a marriage, it almost destroyed me. Still figuring out how to move forward and be the best version of who I was before him
Me too!
Me too smh
Same
Same, but all the red flags were there and I ignored them. Red flags are red flags for a reason. 🏃🏼♀️
He pulls away when I confront him about him lying to me or being deceitful. And he ghosts me to manipulate me and make me feel guilty for things he has done wrong.
You need to walk.
Let him. Stay ghost not allowing him to. Come back like a ghost: hey Boo? 😮
Same here
I'm no longer interested in a romantic relationship. With anyone. It just costs too much, and too many opportunities for deception.
Would destroy my peaceful existence. Destroy my peace.
No good will come of it.
So true
Same
Totally agree 🤦♀️
He pulled away after what I thought was a heart felt conversation in which I bought up a concern. It was like a different person jumped in his body.
💯💯💯@SurvivingLifeOTF
@SurvivingLifeOTFyes this is so true💯 I wish us women realized these are the men to leave asap.
Well he told me he's done. Then he tried to contact me. I'm a business woman and I know my worth. Lesson learned ❤
Men always come back even when They pull away
Same but he blocked me everywhere. I'm doing better off with my business.
As I’ve come to learn, sometimes communication just doesn’t work and all you get is the cold shoulder. That is the clue to just leave and wrap things up. What else can you do if you’re trying and still get nothing. I don’t have time for anything one sided.
Yup and as Adrienne Everheart says, ‘his problems are not your problems’ we can’t lose ourselves
Exactly
Agreed
Agreed
Agreed 👍💯
His lack of communication is hurtful. I’ve known him for 4 yrs as a friend and now my heart is just crushed
I can relate to u, same thing I experience
Me too
It hurts alot
Just went through that
So sorry for you.
"Honor your own needs!" 💯💯💯
More than once. When they are insecure and you go in just fine and they try to break you down.
Spot on.
He will show you how he feels
I was secure before him. He literally turned my mind upside down and my heart inside out. I’m working on finding my way back to myself but I know I won’t be the same again.
No you won't be the same, you will be BETTER. Now you have something to share with others that are going through or will go through what could have broke you. You should not let this define you🙏🏿♥️🙏🏾
You will become stronger & wiser which is better than you were...
It is an opportunity for your growth, love...
Self reflection & Self-worth...
Boundaries..
I noticed his attitude towards me changed. I had approached the subject a couple times, he claimed everything was good between us, but his actions didn't show that- that was my cue to walk away.
I did the same thing in the past. I just walked away, because it drains too much energy. I explained this before walking away, and there was no response. Ridiculous
Same
Same
I won't take what I can get, I will require what I deserve ❤ TY
💛💯🙌🏽
I can relate. I was doing just fine living and loving my life just to have someone come and disturb my peace and happiness. I’m more mad at myself for allowing said person to even get to me…he likes to take more than he gives and always has an excuse. Why bother me at all then. I was perfectly happy. Time to go back to my normal life before he ever even stepped foot in it.
Litterally me. I was living in bliss and now hurt & confused.
Not so easy….. I went no contact and I swear on my life he will never get at me again, but I’m heartbroken!
Me too. I was happy on my own and hadn’t dated for 5 yrs then he pursued me relentlessly, sweet talk, love bomb, and it felt good. Had a fun for a year then pulls away and says he needs to be on his own. I’m heartbroken💔
I don't think I need to let someone know I'll be talking to other men if he keeps pulling away. I'll just do it and if it works out with someone else I'll be moved on with him. No need to announce it ahead of time.
I learned that choice of words makes a difference when communicating.
A relationship without conversations the only answer you get is silence year in and year out....shocking
I call myself BRAVE for walking, I got standards
Had to walk away, to much hot &cold
Me too
Me three
I WAS DOING FINE WHEN I MET YOU AND I'LL BE DOING JUST AS GOOD LONG AFTER YOU'RE GONE💯
True to that
1. Capacity
2. Desires
3. Time: spreading to thin
thank you!!
Wow I am Soo glad came across this video. Especially the part you said " he love bombs you then it's like he pulls a rug out from under you and goes distant.
I can absolutely relate to coming into a relationship strong and leaving with all kinds of extras going on! Definitely a sign to leave!! 💯💯
AMEN!!!
Here 🙋🏼♀️ secure at beginning, insecure anxious at the end. Now back to secure, however it took 1-2 years of healing from a situationship.
So true. There is no need to retaliate. You waste too much energy. Focus on you.
Thank you for speaking out honestly about real human nature and relationships.
Thank you for being our "internet bro" and providing this valuable info.
I ask him if everything is ok and he just says he's been busy. But every time we get close he pulls away. We've been friends for a long time and this 'pulling away' behavior has been ongoing for years! However, recently, it seemed like our friendship was getting deeper and going to another level. I think he started feeling something he couldn't handle and didn't know what to do with. So now when he texts, he gives me short questions and responses. Something has definitely changed.
Totally went in with serious confidence….left 5 years later trying to “ prove” he could be loved.
Omg I lost myself. Very narcissistic behavior s
All I can say we each individually are responsible for our own growth, evolution, and transformation. We either do it together in a relationship, partnership, familyship, friendship, communityship or we do it alone. You gotta know when to throw in the towel of wasting your energy on the growth of other people who clearly cant/wont change and turn INWARD and focus on ourselves. Evolved people are better people. Wasting energy and time especially on the wrong people, places, and things will likely leave you battered, insecure, and drained. ❤
Great summary🎉
Yeap
That's how I feel right now after three years .. battered, exhausted, insecure and Confused... Cause I prayed so much. It didn't work...
Very true!
Definitely picked up some insecurities Along the way. I don’t recognize mySELF!
I do recognise my former self, the teenage one…he brought it back and I can’t get rid of it. All the good therapy work done shred into pieces.
That's how I felt when I left my childrens' father. Now its this dating scene that got me ...SMH.
If he pulls away, is it best to just let him be rather than reaching out? I want to stay in my feminine energy and have heard from other coaches let him pursue you.
Good question
I’m tired of men bs.
Exactly
They need more therapy than us! My female friends are not nearly as Hot & Cold as most of these men are.
I was single and secure for 3 years before I met him. The honeymoon phase was great then his divorce papers arrived and he changed. He stated he was depressed and had mental health issues. I thought my support patience and love would help him get through this. I was dead wrong. His disrespect was like a hamster wheel. He knew what was going on and felt guilty, so he walked away. I could not let him make me feel insecure any longer. Thank you for this video, it helped me so much✌️
Was he married with you?
He was one sided with everything from day one. I brought him up time and time again. Then turn around and want to threaten on leaving. Yet for some reason I kept bringing it up and telling him. Well I end up not being happy any more because he's not listening or just don't care. Finally I said what I had to say and walk away. Lord have mercy lesson learned.
Derek, you are truly my big brother. I appreciate everything that you said. And I definitely needed to hear this.
Yes I can relate !! Made that mistake and chased after him....one of my biggest regret in life !!
I think almost all women and teens have done that with a bum or two.
This resonates with me. 👋🏾Trying to heal now.
Oh wow this really has gave me the information I need to remind myself of my worth and my whet my values and needs stand for..
thank you ❤
You are 100% right. My husband has changed after 16 years of marriage. He doesn't satisfy my emotional needs. Whenever I bring up an issue, I'm told I'm too emotional and dismiss whatever was said. We hardly communicate and He's now interested in polygmy, 🤦🏾♀️. "It's not a sin, it's biblical." he says. Help!
You deserve better than small D energy.
He’s changing, same thing happened to my ex and we’re both young. I blame his dad.. his dad is narcissistic, praying for you 🙏🏾
Divorce
Get out!! Save yourself from further pain and prioritize your feelings
Omg I feel so sorry for you 🥺
Keep your shine ladies ❤
I got PTSD from my last long term relationship. 😑😐😔
I can relate
I’m so glad I stumbled upon this video. Came at a good time, thanks you’re amazing!
I agree with you 2000%. The worst thing you could do is jump the gun start criticizing. Or putting out there what you’re not going to put up with like yeah that would be really bad.
Honor your own needs and let your actions speak
Derrick we thank you for such insight!
You have been truly missed!
Yup. I worked HARD with therapy, the gym, etc to be healthy. Now thanks to this man’s insecurities I’m stressed out
I appreciate your wise communication telling the honest truth know your worth 😍
This is what happened to me recently recently the only mistake I did I retaliated due to high emotions I had to yell at him which I wish I wouldn't have done.
Your so right what i tell friends know your worth walk away
I was ready to hear this. Thank you.
Great message praying 🙏 ❤
Derek, you’re the best thing that ever I came across thank you so much for looking out for women such myself God bless you.
Always appreciate your wisdom 🤍
I like the use of the word evolved!
Elevating, Progressing,...
I just pulled back as he couldn’t be completely opened to me and avoid
Thank you so much! I really needed to hear this today. ❤
Thank you! Straight forward and to the point. You are a God-send. The Lord just revealed that I'm headed in the right direction. God bless!
Thank you, Sir. Very helpful. ... and yes, exited a 6 year narcissistic relationship a year ago. Took 2 years to end. I am now 99.9% healed. So happy this video popped up on my feed.
My God this is so good!!
I appreciate you so much today! Binging your videos. Much needed!
I love this mentorship
Wish I would’ve seen this last Monday 😢
It’s never too late ❤ walk away and see how you go girl he can only come back when he’s changing or accountable and ready to change! Get yourself back :) x
Most men don't change. Or they will for a little while
True
I wish I'd seen this last Thursday.
You are so right I been going through this situation
Yep! So true! Dont chase!
I needed to hear this today😊
Oh my word... This is SOOO GOOD & TRUE!!!
Exactly. He Is extremely narcisistic
Awesome video. Hadn't seen your videos in a while. This is great. Thank you 😊 ❤
Came in warm and fine. Then ghosting and such - yep- naturally left me insecure.
Thank You. I love it that your Straightforward and Direct😊
Sooo good, needed to hear this…thankyou.
I thank you for the clarity.
Immaturity and lack of knowing how to communicate never brings a solution with naut understanding. Respect and care says a whole lot
Phenomenal msg and delivery thank you DJ! ❤
Relationships now and days has become a big joke and quite draining, one is better off single🤸
Yes I can relate .I was secure and thought he was but used excuses and In time never was going forward in our relationship.
This is so brilliant
Was super strong & high self esteem, now I'm doubtful & questioning myself
I, Thank You for this conversation .
I can relate 100%.
Fulfilling message thank you so much ❤
Yes, I can relate. Not just with a men. Connections with Humans, Family, Sister, Brother etc
So much value here... Thank you my "internet brotha"!!!!
Thank you Derrick ❤️
Y'all are still watching this man's videos? Fascinating
I was thinking the same darn thing. These women need to wake tf up
We are
He who is without sin, cast the 1st stone!
Prayerfully, God has entered into this man’s heart and he has fully submitted to Him!
And is…. He ain’t perfect but he ain’t lying! Gems! 💎
Yep. The average woman is heavily male identified. Especially bw.
The new toy end up breaking his Heart ❤️,
Yep
Now this was super spot on!!!!!!! 💯 I’m clicking the link!!!
He was love bombing me and leaving me on read.I addressed the issue in a calm way as this was not the first time. He came back with some bs answer, so i gracefully walked away without no explanation, i didn't argue i just simply just walked away and got on with my life. Thankfully, we were just dating and had not been intimate even though i have known him for years. Im sure someone from above was looking out for me 😌
*You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won't mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever.*
So appreciate your counsel!
This was good Derrick.
Thank you for everything you've said it is so true
I adore how you define " humanity" in such a creative way. If people would get passed the ideology everyone is out to take something and identify we need ea other and we all have to work together to define what can or can't be given...you've made a great sacrifice yourself to TEACH. ( thank You!)
Sounds like people don’t need to be dating if they have healing and maturing to do..
Your a blessing. I pray you continue to be blessed for sharing your gift of knowledge and wisdom to the world and people like myself. I appreciate your post🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾