Love any man would be prod to have on his arm .I listened to your words i think a lot of men should i starting to understand.where i went wrong with my ex lady .so itts me who should give you the thanks ..
my boyfriend used to leave me on delivered for hours while posting instagram stories and sending snaps. So I decided to mirror his actions and I also left him delivered for hours and now he's mad .!? he hasn't replied to my texts nor answered my calls.
I agree with this , I pulled away from man who wanted to play the field. I had to crush his ego because I can sense his arrogance. No words just my actions, now he’s stalking me.
Excellent video. I’m in my 50s. Was dating a man for 10 months. First 8 were great. Last two he started to slowly pull away. I gave him space. Long story short is that he treated me worse and worse until the last weekend I spent with him. Away in an area with no cell service. He planned the entire weekend which was a set up. My goal was to get home. Four days later I met him for dinner and walked away from him. He knew my self worth. He just didn’t know that I knew it too. I will never know what the turning point was and it doesn’t really matter. Walking away was very hard. Staying would have been worse. Ladies, always know your self worth. Walk away when it’s necessary. Do so with grace and be respectful.
I’m so sorry you went through this but also you must feel so proud of yourself for walking away when you weren’t being treated with the love and kindness you deserve. Thank you for sharing your thoughts 🤍
You are missing something -if a man is moved by a good woman but he pulls away often he’s feeling something HE needs to work through. So when a man pulls away many times it’s because he has to process his emotions and NEEDS time and space. This is basic human nature for a man. Give him space to process and work on yourself in the meantime. It’s a nice recharge. If he doesn’t comeback it’s because he evaluated the situation and it’s for the best. It could be he really could only have something casual because where he is in his career and you deserve more of his time. So don’t take it as he not liking you.
Thank you so much for this response. I agree - as it's extremly painful if a woman should blame her self and preoccupy herself with what she did wrong. Sometimes the man is not prepared for a relationship even if he actually likes the woman ❤
Amen 💯. Also, women don’t realise that they, women, instinctively always pull away first, & if the man chases he moves into feminine mode by default. The men & women that don’t understand this both get burnt. So it’s good practice for the man to maintain that polarity (not control or mine games) but that polarity & pull away, knowing that the woman will most likely be doing this when things are going well. So the man must pull away for either the reason explained in the original comment or to maintain polarity. It’s not about control or playing games, it’s about having the upper hand knowing that female emotions are erratic & unpredictable & we as men need to understand this & not take it personally or be affected by the situation woman pulling away, so cos so many men have been so burnt & not understood this - they end up chasing, over investing, losing focus of regular everyday responsibilities and which ruins attraction. So this is why we do it. We do it first to maintain attraction.
"If you want to know how a man feels about you, it's very very simple. You just want to look at who he is, how he's showing up, who he's being and how he's showing up in relation to you and in relation to your relationship."
An avoidant attachment man pull away bc they are depleted & need space or playing games so Fareen is right , if he pulls away , pull away … I’m not gonna traumatize myself again by being with an avoidant man again, within weeks of being with a dismissive avoidant man messed me so much that I went from a securely attachment style girl turned to an anxious person and it was hell. men that have a secure attachment, are healthy for a relationship… but please we gotta KNOW what type of an attachment style are we attracting towards ourselves , what’s our own attachment style is … avoidant men could become narcissistic…. That’s just how it is with them
This is on point! Probably best I've read so far, more adults need to be educated on their attachment styles especially if there was a poor quality upbringing. As a clustered avoidant man, I'm sorry to hear your secure attachment was corrupted and wish you the best to become re-secured again.
Just got dumped by my avoidant ex. Like you, I went from secure to anxious. He had the audacity to call me insecure and that he was secure and going to find a secure woman to be with. Eww. Makes me sick thinking about it 😢
Not every man whom walks away or suddenly disappears is avoidant. This ridiculous terminology is regurgitated constantly. Since 2019 now... He doesn't want a relationship the end! A relationship is work and money..Not to mention emotional labour.
There are times when men aren’t capable of maintaining a relationship due to their financial, emotional baggage and other life challenges. In that way it is harder to leave that person knowing it’s not totally their fault. Just the wrong time to be with this person.
Sometimes I rewatch your videos just to get inspired by your feminine energy presence, you radiate high-value feminine energy and we definitely need more of that in today’s masculine energy society 🙌🏻 Thank you for your work Fareen
My friend pulled away from her husband when they were dating. He was too keen and I think she was turned off. She ran off to another country and dated other men. Then after a year apart they got back together. Now married with 2 kids.
After 3 dates initiated by him, he pulled away. I pulled away too. The silence treatment is very cruel but i have to move on...I think he is a player. Never got intimate.I think it is over...I am already 42. Very disheartening.
The same thing happened to me after 3 dates. But that was 14 months ago and neither of us have reached out to the other since. I don’t think mine was a player though. I think he was afraid of his growing feelings, and pulled away so that he could see if I would chase him or not because he wanted reassurance that I was interested in him too. Looking back, I think I could have just sent him one text asking him if I did something wrong. I don’t think one text is chasing. Fareen May disagree with me and say I shouldn’t close the gap. But being alone for the last year has sucked. Sometimes I think, would it really hurt if I got in my masculine like 10% of the time?
@@saras.2173oh damn.. what a sad ending, i hope there will be a happy ending sometime. I also had quite romantic times with a guy who seems to really like me but we never planned on meeting, it was just always by coincidence and he told me he is going through stuff that's why he didn't reach out.. he's not reaching out since 3 weeks and i just try to respect that if he doesn't want to approach me.. but friends also been telling me to just text him, cause he also told me has depression. I just feel like i don't want to push or force anything. But in your case if he put in more effort already than it would have been fine to reach out.. and still feminine
This was such an important lesson that took me so long to learn, being a sensitive more passionate person myself. NEVER chase a man pulling away. It will 100% only make things worse. Giving them the same treatment is the only option.
I really appreciate you taking the time to explain things like this- that should be self-explanatory, but that are hard concepts if you grew up in unstable environments. ❤
1. Everyone likes getting something for free. 2. Everyone likes prizes. 3. Everyone likes to feel like a winner. In relationships - If a man gets a woman easily for FREE or without making a lot of efforts, he will not treasure her, will feel like a loser and will walk away. If a man gets a woman after he made lots of efforts, he will treasure her as a prize, he will feel like a true winner and will stay with her.
Not true for every man. If I like the woman and if she reciprocates my feelings then it does not matter if she is hard to get for me or not. I will treat her well and value her the same either way. If you are sure that you like each other there is no need to play games or make you hard to get. That is not what makes or breaks a good relationship. Just give it a try and vet the partner for at least the first 6 months, while sorting things out together as you go. But dont be selfish and behave entitled to anything. If you just expect to get but dont want to give the same amount not just something, then the relationship will never work. Does not matter if you are the man or the woman. Nobody can tell you the future in advance, but if you dont truly want to commit step by step then both of you will just get stuck in an situationship. So it does not matter how hard it was to get you in the first place.
Sometimes he pulls away because he’s not getting what he needs. He invests and doesn’t get a return so he pulls away. There’s more than just the reason that he’s no longer interested.
Exactly 💯 That's being a high value woman. My man thanked me for giving him the understanding of what he is dealing with in his own life . He rewarded me lovingly. ❤
I needed this! Going through it currently & ugh so hard! I own up to my actions, he's pulled away & now i must let him come to me if he's for me. I truly want him to be
Also after being intimate a man's testosterone will drop and he will need some alone time to recharge his testosterone. So after being intimate go do yoga, or go have your social time with family and friends. Don't take it personally ladies. Go do your thing and he will feel more desire for you (after his testosterone is recharged) when he sees you have your own thing going on.
Avoidant men, as mentioned, pull back after emotional or sexual intimacy. Thus is an established pattern/defense and it doesn't mean they don't love you or want you. Same principle applies, do not chase them.
Well i don’t get a text the next day or any form of communication until maybe 3 days later he asks to hang out. Makes me feel a little used and I’m starting to think of it as just physical and not intimacy. No cuddling after. I just feel like leaving his place.
He might pull away for good .. keeps happening to me as I keep making the mistake of falling for him too quickly and giving myself away too quickly. It’s sad. But my responsibility not to allow intimacy.
Loved your video!! They keep getting better and better 🥰 Love that it’s so simple, it’s so easy for my ego mind to complicate EVERYTHING. That actionable piece is gold… pull back, go inward, self inquire and take accountability when necessary. Love it! Pointing the finger does nothing nothing nothing. The world is just so lucky to have you teaching this; I’m grateful to be doing the work and healing inside! Love you!!
Mine is pulling back too, just a little. I know he is going through a lot because he has told me everything he’s going through specifically. Still I feel sad. I’ll back off though. Let’s see what happens.
And.. Sometimes guys lie. He might be married.. So if you show him you're looking for a serious relationship he might pull away. Rejection is God's protection 🙏
Le' sign. I've dated women my whole life and for the first time opened myself up to a man. He became my boyfriend. The communication was awful. He was incredibly hot and cold. He ended dumping me. He'd pull away so often and when I started to match his energy, i realized he was giving me breadcrumbs because at that point matching his energy was bare minimum effort. It sucks.
I am autistic and I appreciate your advice more than I could ever express! I have a huge problem with reading people and have always been hurt and taken advantage of. I’m trying to learn to do this right because I am older and I figure I have time for one true love and I don’t want to blow it.
Thank you so much for commenting and don’t undermine your senses! What you see and feel in me shows you can discern energy! Often we just don’t trust ourselves bc we are afraid to be alone. 🤍
Oh Fareen, thank you so much for another gem ❤❤❤ I'm so happy you are here now! I think you're the best - the only one who talks about these kind of things in a way that fully resonates from embodied energy! I finally got your wonderful book and read it all in one night 😍💕🙏🙏 and i just want to tell you that i love it so much! Thank You so much for it! I can't wait to get your course next! Really, I'm so grateful 🙏 i have more clarity and a little more self trust thanks to you... You give me the puzzle pieces that are essential. Priceless!
I think a married man who is a good man may still feel good about you, but NEED to pull away for the health of his marriage and yours. Also, I would never want to enter an affair and never have, BUT I know I truly care for a man who was able to do this and I am forever grateful to him for his wisdom and maturity in God!
What you are referring to sounds like an emotional affair. He pulled away because he realized it was wrong. If he's smart he will go no contact to protect his marriage.
12:02 self inquiry reagrdless of whether you'll be with this person or not. YES YES YES! 12:51 have the awareness, and be okay that you're not changing immediately. 14:21 a healthy person does not step over another persons boundaries...
I love hearing this! This was my most natural self with no editing etc. I also enjoyed doing this and not worrying about all the fluff and editing. Is that what you enjoyed? And also that it’s vertical?
@@fareenashofficial Yes, the close up was nice! No edits needed (even though you corrected yourself the flow was great, and it feels more authentic, edit wasn't needed,) also in this video specifically I felt like the content was very deep and profound here, just like it was the other day with the interview! I think that this type of video content is a good supplement to your inner work course. While the inner work course is very detailed and focuses in on getting specific to the person, this video gave a nice broad overall picture. I could really get a grasp of the "energy" that you talk about!
@evolutionbe7150 I love this thank you! Yes speaking from my heart and soul is always best and the more comfortable I get with the camera the less mistakes I’ll make at some point lol 🤍
@@fareenashofficial Also the part in this video that talks about making space for men, otherwise we're "feeding their ego." That part is something that would seem like common sense, but for some of us ladies it feels counterintuitive because we've been people pleasing our whole life lol. The vertical video is okay too, to me I'm neutral on that. But the close up was nice to pick up on your energy/vibe!
sometimes they are getting over another relationship and it has nothing to do with me...I'm not creating any feeling..he just doesn't like himself right now
As a man I love if a woman is needy. I’ve never pulled away on purpose but if a woman gets panicked then I know she likes me a lot and I’m more interested then
Fareen this is such a good video! I noticed my man was not being present for a couple days and I felt a disconnect from him. He is not normally like this. It made me sad and I brought it up to him, respectfully letting him know what I was feeling. He did tell me he's been stressed. Would you have just kept quiet and leave him be?
Being expressive and showing emotions is feminine as long as controlled and purposeful I believe. I would mirror him back and be busy enjoying your life like you're unbothered and have options
It really depends on the situation… if you need some clarity you can purchase an email question and write in a bit more detail and I will respond tomorrow. It’s good to know how long you’ve been together, who pursued who and any other details you think I should know
He was sending me a gym selfie and asked for a selfie of mine Some part of me wanted to play the game of hard to get, as well as get a decent app to hide my undereyes In the end, my phone did die at work and i finally sent it (without filter actually) 😅 But eveh with my explain that my phone died He went silent I know he finds me really beautiful (because my past wirh him) I am naturally beautiful without much makeup Most male friends are enamored this photo So, i dont understand his pull back!
I’m confused about when he comes back (because they do) a part of you does want to be warm and welcoming and playful and create attraction back but the other part of you wants to just ignore him completely and then have your say about how you feel (obviously calmly). That’s where Im stuck.
It really depends on the specific situation. Reach out to me if you want insight to your situation. The options to be in touch are in the description 🤍
My boyfriend hasn't text me in a day and a half I think he's pulling away so I'm just going to be quiet and walk the other way he can play his games I'm too old for this
I think he has no ideas what he was going through n I see this pattern happening b4 n he did bounce back. He needs to pull back so he could fall deeper. Emotionally connection
Where do attachment styles figure into this dynamic. I understand that doesn't change my reaction to the pulling away, but can it be that he is just not emotionally capable. If THAT is the case, is there ever a time to let him back in?
He's been pulling away for a few weeks, but yet still replying to me always and saying he still wants to get to know me etc. Then I decided not to text him first, and we haven't spoken in 4 days...
but also he told me to express my feelings, and then suddenly he was like, this doesn't make me feel good. and im like well you pulling away and being disrespectful of my time doesn't feel good for me?!
This only happened to me once with my first relationship. Pulled away after a year right after he graduated high school. I didn't respond to it, but it really hurt and also really scared me about our future. We were going to get married after his training, but pulling away for a month and then getting close to me confused me. So i decided to see someone else. I still feel horrible about my actions. I was always getting acused of cheating on him all the time. A part of me wished i did just marry him to see what would have happened.
He accused you of cheating before you cheated or did you just leave him? Either way that doesn't sound healthy and probably for the best that you got away. Someone getting hot and cold is understandable when you have plans to marry, although not healthy if you are not communicating with your partner. He probably questioned your fidelity because he was cheating or at least getting cold feet. Maybe you could have asked him if wanted to postpone marriage but honestly he would have needed to work on himself before you two could have been happy together. I wish you the best of luck moving forward!
I don’t really know what to do at this point. I flew all the way to another state to spend time with him. Spent money on airfare and a hotel. Which was quite expensive. We were supposed to spend time together. We spent one day, & I thought everything was fine. The next day he ditched me and said he had other things to do. (Family stuff) I felt abandoned and confused. I really like him and he reassured that he likes me too, but his actions don’t show it. I ready to give up.
I’m sorry and I know how you feel. Unfortunately it’s time to move on. I hope someone who wants you just as you want them comes along for you one day 🫶🏽
@fareenashofficial , yes of course. It has its own particularities. I was just curious how this would play out of if it was the woman's fault and he actually pulled away because of that. If the same principle of him noticing the value will still apply considering.
Mine he proposed after 4 days via whatsap, coz we saw eachother once then both of us left the country after that i noticed i was the only one initiating the conversation for 4 times then i pulled away , for 2 months he came back😏
Huh? What if the man has been giving to her and shes been putting him down and now he stops talking to her.. she has to fix that if she is actually interested
He pulled away after a few dates so I did too and now he’s taking two steps back further . He still talking to our mutual friends about how muxh he wanna be around me but when we all actually gathered, he seems stressed and have his guard up. I dunno what to take of this 😢
He could be insecure. You tried pulling away and that didn't give you the results you wanted. Maybe you pulled away a bit too much? I would initiate contact and be honest. Just say something like, "Hey, I felt like you were pulling away and I wanted to respect that and give you some space, but maybe we are having a miscommunication about what we both want. Do you want to talk about it?" That opens the door for communication (a lot of men, even secure ones, need help with that), but it's still his decision to have that conversation. If he deflects or isn't open to communicating, you might want to move on. Best of luck to you!
@@MadisonEstes well it looks like he chose someone over me a few days ago and made it official. yet he is still texting me , calling me to go out without “his chosen “ girlfriend 😕🙁
I’ve done some self inquiry and it seems like I just obsess over him and mentally focus all my energy on him when I’m around him and acting overly emotional or defensive when he’s not “being how I want him to be”, but it’s been like this with pretty much every connection in the past, it’s not even like I say anything it’s just in my energy that I feel like I have no contro over!! Almost like limerence ?! How do I change this or what do I do inside of me to fix this because I’ve lost so many people because of my natural self and I don’t wanna lose another who I just adore 😢please help 😢
He said let’s slow down I pulled completely, I lost interest in him if someone block my heart I lose interest in everything 😂😂😂 now even if he come I don’t see him as before let him. Someone better for him 😂 good luck
I was looking at this video for you to tell me what to do if he's disthen all you done. It was told me it was my fault that I need to look at myself. You really didn't say anything about if everything is good. You showing up in the relationship and he still being distant. You just saying everything is my fault to look at me and see what I'm doing sometime. People are just emotionally unavailable, but don't know how to say it. Just wanna play games with your feelings and bread crumbs😮
She started putting red flags and going out quietly with others men every day telling me lies staying out in the hotels and guests houses with the guys keeping her child and dog in her parents house who want a woman like this not me i prefer to back off. Stay out of trouble.
Does this also count with someone who you have a crush on at work, and it really really feels like he feels the same even tho I’m pretty sure he has a gf which I at first didn’t know, but we haven’t actually spoken about this but he sometimes seems to completely avoid me at work and I don’t understand it when I really get the feelings off him and signs. It’s really confusing 😢
To the women constantly talking about avoidant and narc traits. Please stop. These are silly labels...Relationships are work and a lifestyle choice. There is no incentive to commit fully or for a lifetime anymore. Think critically...All those incentives are long gone. Throw in contraception it changed everything.
Love anny man would be proud to have you on his arm.i watch and listen to your advice I hink a lot of men should I'm starting to understand about where I went wrong with my lady ..so it's me who should be thanking you madam thank you for your advice God bless ..
What if he wants sex too early, after several weeks/months of talking, and we go on our 2nd date and I say no not yet, and he pulls away.... 🙄 His ego is hurt for sure, and I'm saying I don't move that fast but I really like him, but he can't handle the rejection... 😕😐😐
Leave him alone. If he can’t control his sexual urges, he has deeper issues to deal with. He’s filled with lust, he’ll probably cheat. Hes immature. He’s probably a narcissist. A man that respects you would respect your boundaries. You wasn’t rejecting him, you have values and standards.
The game people play. Pretty biased against men, aren't you? It works both ways. This is funny. We're told to do the same thing to women that you're telling men to do.
► grab your FREE Chapter of “What Men Want” fareenash.com/
Love any man would be prod to have on his arm .I listened to your words i think a lot of men should i starting to understand.where i went wrong with my ex lady .so itts me who should give you the thanks ..
Mirror their actions. Dont invest more than they do.
my boyfriend used to leave me on delivered for hours while posting instagram stories and sending snaps. So I decided to mirror his actions and I also left him delivered for hours and now he's mad .!?
he hasn't replied to my texts nor answered my calls.
@@pranisharai111 he is a narcissist
@@pranisharai111 update? did u leave? im going through the same
Never ever.
I agree with this , I pulled away from man who wanted to play the field. I had to crush his ego because I can sense his arrogance. No words just my actions, now he’s stalking me.
Good for you for having self-worth and letting him do what he needs to do!
Me too! He’s social media stalking me
Me too
28 days no contact so far. Hes blocked from my social media.
Suuuure you did. Suuuure he is. 👉🤪👈
If a guy pulls away, I leave. Most won't try to fix it because they're trying to play games. And why entertain that when you can just walk away
Excellent video. I’m in my 50s. Was dating a man for 10 months. First 8 were great. Last two he started to slowly pull away. I gave him space. Long story short is that he treated me worse and worse until the last weekend I spent with him. Away in an area with no cell service. He planned the entire weekend which was a set up. My goal was to get home.
Four days later I met him for dinner and walked away from him. He knew my self worth. He just didn’t know that I knew it too.
I will never know what the turning point was and it doesn’t really matter. Walking away was very hard. Staying would have been worse.
Ladies, always know your self worth. Walk away when it’s necessary. Do so with grace and be respectful.
I’m so sorry you went through this but also you must feel so proud of yourself for walking away when you weren’t being treated with the love and kindness you deserve. Thank you for sharing your thoughts 🤍
Why did you meet up for dinner. I be mad as hell I am happy you got away
You are missing something -if a man is moved by a good woman but he pulls away often he’s feeling something HE needs to work through.
So when a man pulls away many times it’s because he has to process his emotions and NEEDS time and space. This is basic human nature for a man. Give him space to process and work on yourself in the meantime. It’s a nice recharge.
If he doesn’t comeback it’s because he evaluated the situation and it’s for the best.
It could be he really could only have something casual because where he is in his career and you deserve more of his time.
So don’t take it as he not liking you.
Yes i really feel this!
Yess this is facts
Thank you so much for this response. I agree - as it's extremly painful if a woman should blame her self and preoccupy herself with what she did wrong. Sometimes the man is not prepared for a relationship even if he actually likes the woman ❤
I agree. He could like and be very attracted to you but not ready for a relationship because of a recent bad breakup.
Amen 💯. Also, women don’t realise that they, women, instinctively always pull away first, & if the man chases he moves into feminine mode by default. The men & women that don’t understand this both get burnt. So it’s good practice for the man to maintain that polarity (not control or mine games) but that polarity & pull away, knowing that the woman will most likely be doing this when things are going well. So the man must pull away for either the reason explained in the original comment or to maintain polarity. It’s not about control or playing games, it’s about having the upper hand knowing that female emotions are erratic & unpredictable & we as men need to understand this & not take it personally or be affected by the situation woman pulling away, so cos so many men have been so burnt & not understood this - they end up chasing, over investing, losing focus of regular everyday responsibilities and which ruins attraction. So this is why we do it. We do it first to maintain attraction.
"If you want to know how a man feels about you, it's very very simple. You just want to look at who he is, how he's showing up, who he's being and how he's showing up in relation to you and in relation to your relationship."
I pulled away too late when the respect was long gone.
An avoidant attachment man pull away bc they are depleted & need space or playing games so Fareen is right , if he pulls away , pull away … I’m not gonna traumatize myself again by being with an avoidant man again, within weeks of being with a dismissive avoidant man messed me so much that I went from a securely attachment style girl turned to an anxious person and it was hell. men that have a secure attachment, are healthy for a relationship… but please we gotta KNOW what type of an attachment style are we attracting towards ourselves , what’s our own attachment style is … avoidant men could become narcissistic…. That’s just how it is with them
This is on point! Probably best I've read so far, more adults need to be educated on their attachment styles especially if there was a poor quality upbringing.
As a clustered avoidant man, I'm sorry to hear your secure attachment was corrupted and wish you the best to become re-secured again.
Just got dumped by my avoidant ex. Like you, I went from secure to anxious. He had the audacity to call me insecure and that he was secure and going to find a secure woman to be with. Eww. Makes me sick thinking about it 😢
Facts
Not every man whom walks away or suddenly disappears is avoidant. This ridiculous terminology is regurgitated constantly. Since 2019 now... He doesn't want a relationship the end! A relationship is work and money..Not to mention emotional labour.
There are times when men aren’t capable of maintaining a relationship due to their financial, emotional baggage and other life challenges. In that way it is harder to leave that person knowing it’s not totally their fault. Just the wrong time to be with this person.
But instead of ghosting someone be man enough and communicate this instead of hurting someone unnecessarily
I totally 1000000000000 percent agree with both these comments
Not about fault or blame. Walk away & let him grow.
@@marediththaele1076 My fault as well he gave hints I clearly ignored. Still not an excuse. Heal first ideally before bringing someone into the mix…
Sometimes I rewatch your videos just to get inspired by your feminine energy presence, you radiate high-value feminine energy and we definitely need more of that in today’s masculine energy society 🙌🏻 Thank you for your work Fareen
I love this comment so much! Thank you for sharing that! You made me feel seen and appreciated! 🤍😍
@@fareenashofficial You're welcome queen 🥰 keep shining bright
Yes,she does
My friend pulled away from her husband when they were dating. He was too keen and I think she was turned off. She ran off to another country and dated other men. Then after a year apart they got back together. Now married with 2 kids.
I loveeeee that! They both came back whole and having worked on their stuff likely and when they came back together it worked out beautifully 🤍🤍🤍🙏
I’m hoping for this with my partner
I hope same too for my partner
After 3 dates initiated by him, he pulled away. I pulled away too. The silence treatment is very cruel but i have to move on...I think he is a player. Never got intimate.I think it is over...I am already 42. Very disheartening.
The same thing happened to me after 3 dates. But that was 14 months ago and neither of us have reached out to the other since. I don’t think mine was a player though. I think he was afraid of his growing feelings, and pulled away so that he could see if I would chase him or not because he wanted reassurance that I was interested in him too. Looking back, I think I could have just sent him one text asking him if I did something wrong. I don’t think one text is chasing. Fareen May disagree with me and say I shouldn’t close the gap. But being alone for the last year has sucked. Sometimes I think, would it really hurt if I got in my masculine like 10% of the time?
@@saras.2173 I understand you...
@saras.2173 I had started to fall for him. I think he wanted to hurt me..Are they avoidants or manipulators?who knows?
@@saras.2173 Instead of asking him if you did something wrong, just ask him how he is doing maybe?
@@saras.2173oh damn.. what a sad ending, i hope there will be a happy ending sometime. I also had quite romantic times with a guy who seems to really like me but we never planned on meeting, it was just always by coincidence and he told me he is going through stuff that's why he didn't reach out.. he's not reaching out since 3 weeks and i just try to respect that if he doesn't want to approach me.. but friends also been telling me to just text him, cause he also told me has depression. I just feel like i don't want to push or force anything. But in your case if he put in more effort already than it would have been fine to reach out.. and still feminine
This was such an important lesson that took me so long to learn, being a sensitive more passionate person myself. NEVER chase a man pulling away. It will 100% only make things worse. Giving them the same treatment is the only option.
“never fill in the gap for a man” Love this!
if someone pulls away they are a manipulator maybe even a narcissist. walk away. dont wait around for them
I really appreciate you taking the time to explain things like this- that should be self-explanatory, but that are hard concepts if you grew up in unstable environments. ❤
Absolutely!!
Your very welcome 🤍
1. Everyone likes getting something for free. 2. Everyone likes prizes. 3. Everyone likes to feel like a winner. In relationships - If a man gets a woman easily for FREE or without making a lot of efforts, he will not treasure her, will feel like a loser and will walk away. If a man gets a woman after he made lots of efforts, he will treasure her as a prize, he will feel like a true winner and will stay with her.
Not true for every man. If I like the woman and if she reciprocates my feelings then it does not matter if she is hard to get for me or not. I will treat her well and value her the same either way. If you are sure that you like each other there is no need to play games or make you hard to get. That is not what makes or breaks a good relationship. Just give it a try and vet the partner for at least the first 6 months, while sorting things out together as you go. But dont be selfish and behave entitled to anything. If you just expect to get but dont want to give the same amount not just something, then the relationship will never work. Does not matter if you are the man or the woman. Nobody can tell you the future in advance, but if you dont truly want to commit step by step then both of you will just get stuck in an situationship. So it does not matter how hard it was to get you in the first place.
I agree. I can be very reactive so I’m learning that men show love with actions.
Awareness is key 🤍
I'm learning how to be less reactive & use more emotional intelligence
Sometimes he pulls away because he’s not getting what he needs. He invests and doesn’t get a return so he pulls away. There’s more than just the reason that he’s no longer interested.
I respect his pulling back, that's the only right thing to do..
Exactly 💯 That's being a high value woman. My man thanked me for giving him the understanding of what he is dealing with in his own life . He rewarded me lovingly. ❤
Men are not familiar with emotional language , i think is very important to make that distinction.
I needed this! Going through it currently & ugh so hard! I own up to my actions, he's pulled away & now i must let him come to me if he's for me. I truly want him to be
Spot on - in both personal and friend relationships..thank you 🙏
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Also after being intimate a man's testosterone will drop and he will need some alone time to recharge his testosterone. So after being intimate go do yoga, or go have your social time with family and friends. Don't take it personally ladies. Go do your thing and he will feel more desire for you (after his testosterone is recharged) when he sees you have your own thing going on.
Yes, this is from John Gray's work.
Avoidant men, as mentioned, pull back after emotional or sexual intimacy. Thus is an established pattern/defense and it doesn't mean they don't love you or want you. Same principle applies, do not chase them.
Well i don’t get a text the next day or any form of communication until maybe 3 days later he asks to hang out. Makes me feel a little used and I’m starting to think of it as just physical and not intimacy. No cuddling after. I just feel like leaving his place.
How long does it take to recharge?
He might pull away for good .. keeps happening to me as I keep making the mistake of falling for him too quickly and giving myself away too quickly. It’s sad. But my responsibility not to allow intimacy.
Loved your video!! They keep getting better and better 🥰 Love that it’s so simple, it’s so easy for my ego mind to complicate EVERYTHING. That actionable piece is gold… pull back, go inward, self inquire and take accountability when necessary. Love it! Pointing the finger does nothing nothing nothing.
The world is just so lucky to have you teaching this; I’m grateful to be doing the work and healing inside! Love you!!
Awwwww! Your comments and contributions to my videos are priceless and mean so much to me! 🤍🙏🥰
Your content is incredibly full of great wisdom!!! Thank you for sharing I sure appreciate YOU!!!
Awww thank you! 🥰🥰
Mine is pulling back too, just a little. I know he is going through a lot because he has told me everything he’s going through specifically. Still I feel sad. I’ll back off though. Let’s see what happens.
I don’t want to be with a man who does that. My man is attentive and there is consequences for games, and that is the end of the relationship.
I’m learning a lot bc I’ve had to walk away from this guy 2x bc I’m so annoyed by his 💩
I’m so happy to hear that you’re learning a lot from my videos ! 🤍
And.. Sometimes guys lie. He might be married.. So if you show him you're looking for a serious relationship he might pull away. Rejection is God's protection 🙏
Le' sign. I've dated women my whole life and for the first time opened myself up to a man. He became my boyfriend. The communication was awful. He was incredibly hot and cold. He ended dumping me. He'd pull away so often and when I started to match his energy, i realized he was giving me breadcrumbs because at that point matching his energy was bare minimum effort. It sucks.
I am autistic and I appreciate your advice more than I could ever express! I have a huge problem with reading people and have always been hurt and taken advantage of. I’m trying to learn to do this right because I am older and I figure I have time for one true love and I don’t want to blow it.
Thank you so much for commenting and don’t undermine your senses! What you see and feel in me shows you can discern energy! Often we just don’t trust ourselves bc we are afraid to be alone. 🤍
I like the close up I feel like I can hear you clearly now😊
Good to know!
Again thank u so much for the close up and your voice is super clear😊😊😊
Thank you! And your very welcome :)
Self inquiry!! ❤❤ love it!! You’re so beautiful! 😍 love seeing you up close.
Awwwww 🥰 thank you 😊
This is soooooo good, thank you ❤
Thank you for the love 🤍🤍
Thank you for this video Fareen! It's so helpful to understand this and how we should turn inward and reflect on ourselves instead 💗
Thank you for this 🤍🤍
Oh Fareen, thank you so much for another gem ❤❤❤
I'm so happy you are here now! I think you're the best - the only one who talks about these kind of things in a way that fully resonates from embodied energy!
I finally got your wonderful book and read it all in one night 😍💕🙏🙏 and i just want to tell you that i love it so much! Thank You so much for it!
I can't wait to get your course next!
Really, I'm so grateful 🙏 i have more clarity and a little more self trust thanks to you... You give me the puzzle pieces that are essential. Priceless!
You are so sweet! I see all of your messages and kind thoughtful words on all my videos! I see you and thank you 🙏
So happy you’ve gotten the book 🤍
Best comment ever 😍 What beautiful energy 🥰🥰🥰
@sarahsawrie she’s so sweet!
@@fareenashofficial Omg 🥹🥰😍😍😍
I'm so happy right now!
You're so welcome! So welcome!! ❤❤❤❤ All the best to you and all my love 😘💕😃
@@sarahsawrieaww you're too kind!! Likewise ❤❤❤ thank you very much!
If a man has been hurt in a past relationship. Does it take much longer for them to commit to another woman.
No… not if she shows up in the right way 🤍
I think a married man who is a good man may still feel good about you, but NEED to pull away for the health of his marriage and yours.
Also, I would never want to enter an affair and never have, BUT I know I truly care for a man who was able to do this and I am forever grateful to him for his wisdom and maturity in God!
What you are referring to sounds like an emotional affair. He pulled away because he realized it was wrong. If he's smart he will go no contact to protect his marriage.
12:02 self inquiry reagrdless of whether you'll be with this person or not. YES YES YES!
12:51 have the awareness, and be okay that you're not changing immediately.
14:21 a healthy person does not step over another persons boundaries...
This is your best vid yet Fareen! ❤
Your channel is growing so fast, yay!
I love hearing this! This was my most natural self with no editing etc. I also enjoyed doing this and not worrying about all the fluff and editing. Is that what you enjoyed? And also that it’s vertical?
@@fareenashofficial Yes, the close up was nice! No edits needed (even though you corrected yourself the flow was great, and it feels more authentic, edit wasn't needed,) also in this video specifically I felt like the content was very deep and profound here, just like it was the other day with the interview!
I think that this type of video content is a good supplement to your inner work course. While the inner work course is very detailed and focuses in on getting specific to the person, this video gave a nice broad overall picture. I could really get a grasp of the "energy" that you talk about!
@evolutionbe7150 I love this thank you! Yes speaking from my heart and soul is always best and the more comfortable I get with the camera the less mistakes I’ll make at some point lol 🤍
@@fareenashofficial Also the part in this video that talks about making space for men, otherwise we're "feeding their ego." That part is something that would seem like common sense, but for some of us ladies it feels counterintuitive because we've been people pleasing our whole life lol.
The vertical video is okay too, to me I'm neutral on that. But the close up was nice to pick up on your energy/vibe!
sometimes they are getting over another relationship and it has nothing to do with me...I'm not creating any feeling..he just doesn't like himself right now
Great advice and great video
As a man I love if a woman is needy. I’ve never pulled away on purpose but if a woman gets panicked then I know she likes me a lot and I’m more interested then
Fareen this is such a good video! I noticed my man was not being present for a couple days and I felt a disconnect from him. He is not normally like this. It made me sad and I brought it up to him, respectfully letting him know what I was feeling. He did tell me he's been stressed. Would you have just kept quiet and leave him be?
Being expressive and showing emotions is feminine as long as controlled and purposeful I believe. I would mirror him back and be busy enjoying your life like you're unbothered and have options
It really depends on the situation… if you need some clarity you can purchase an email question and write in a bit more detail and I will respond tomorrow. It’s good to know how long you’ve been together, who pursued who and any other details you think I should know
A man has worth & purpose to where he doesn’t always have to chase a woman
But how can we determine if they are a narc or they are pulling away like a regular person
He was sending me a gym selfie and asked for a selfie of mine
Some part of me wanted to play the game of hard to get, as well as get a decent app to hide my undereyes
In the end, my phone did die at work and i finally sent it (without filter actually) 😅
But eveh with my explain that my phone died
He went silent
I know he finds me really beautiful (because my past wirh him)
I am naturally beautiful without much makeup
Most male friends are enamored this photo
So, i dont understand his pull back!
I’m confused about when he comes back (because they do) a part of you does want to be warm and welcoming and playful and create attraction back but the other part of you wants to just ignore him completely and then have your say about how you feel (obviously calmly). That’s where Im stuck.
It really depends on the specific situation. Reach out to me if you want insight to your situation. The options to be in touch are in the description 🤍
I agree with most of this except where you mention the reasons people pull away.
Hello from England you a totally one good looking lady thanks for the good ad
Vice
AGREED!
🤍🤍🙏
Your information here is beautiful. I very much agree with you. 🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤
Thank you so much!
My boyfriend hasn't text me in a day and a half I think he's pulling away so I'm just going to be quiet and walk the other way he can play his games I'm too old for this
Good for you! Focus on what you love and let this make you feel stronger. We do NOT need any man and any of their games.
@@jflsdknf amen amen amen
I think he has no ideas what he was going through n I see this pattern happening b4 n he did bounce back.
He needs to pull back so he could fall deeper. Emotionally connection
@@ComeInPeace19 that's why he's no longer my boyfriend because he pulled away too much too long I said see you
I love your videos!
Thank you!
Where do attachment styles figure into this dynamic. I understand that doesn't change my reaction to the pulling away, but can it be that he is just not emotionally capable. If THAT is the case, is there ever a time to let him back in?
He's been pulling away for a few weeks, but yet still replying to me always and saying he still wants to get to know me etc. Then I decided not to text him first, and we haven't spoken in 4 days...
but also he told me to express my feelings, and then suddenly he was like, this doesn't make me feel good. and im like well you pulling away and being disrespectful of my time doesn't feel good for me?!
We ain’t ever getting back together
She pulled away, so I pulled away and I’m done
Lasted four hot months, 8months ago
This only happened to me once with my first relationship. Pulled away after a year right after he graduated high school. I didn't respond to it, but it really hurt and also really scared me about our future. We were going to get married after his training, but pulling away for a month and then getting close to me confused me. So i decided to see someone else. I still feel horrible about my actions. I was always getting acused of cheating on him all the time. A part of me wished i did just marry him to see what would have happened.
He accused you of cheating before you cheated or did you just leave him? Either way that doesn't sound healthy and probably for the best that you got away. Someone getting hot and cold is understandable when you have plans to marry, although not healthy if you are not communicating with your partner. He probably questioned your fidelity because he was cheating or at least getting cold feet. Maybe you could have asked him if wanted to postpone marriage but honestly he would have needed to work on himself before you two could have been happy together. I wish you the best of luck moving forward!
I don’t really know what to do at this point. I flew all the way to another state to spend time with him. Spent money on airfare and a hotel. Which was quite expensive. We were supposed to spend time together. We spent one day, & I thought everything was fine. The next day he ditched me and said he had other things to do. (Family stuff) I felt abandoned and confused. I really like him and he reassured that he likes me too, but his actions don’t show it. I ready to give up.
I’m sorry and I know how you feel. Unfortunately it’s time to move on. I hope someone who wants you just as you want them comes along for you one day 🫶🏽
Is this available in a long-term relationship as well? Especially when the woman had a big contribution during the last conflict?
Yes.. but every situation is different and unique
@fareenashofficial , yes of course. It has its own particularities. I was just curious how this would play out of if it was the woman's fault and he actually pulled away because of that. If the same principle of him noticing the value will still apply considering.
@simonaib7600 it all depends on how the woman shows up
What if he proposed on the 1st date & now got quiet🤷🏾♀️. ...
Mine he proposed after 4 days via whatsap, coz we saw eachother once then both of us left the country after that i noticed i was the only one initiating the conversation for 4 times then i pulled away , for 2 months he came back😏
anyways those who proposed so early are playing only🙁
Huh? What if the man has been giving to her and shes been putting him down and now he stops talking to her.. she has to fix that if she is actually interested
4min in thats whr i was going with this
Thanks!
Thank you so much for this super thanks 🙏
Everyone just pulls away...
He pulled away after a few dates so I did too and now he’s taking two steps back further . He still talking to our mutual friends about how muxh he wanna be around me but when we all actually gathered, he seems stressed and have his guard up. I dunno what to take of this 😢
He could be insecure. You tried pulling away and that didn't give you the results you wanted. Maybe you pulled away a bit too much? I would initiate contact and be honest. Just say something like, "Hey, I felt like you were pulling away and I wanted to respect that and give you some space, but maybe we are having a miscommunication about what we both want. Do you want to talk about it?" That opens the door for communication (a lot of men, even secure ones, need help with that), but it's still his decision to have that conversation. If he deflects or isn't open to communicating, you might want to move on. Best of luck to you!
@@MadisonEstes well it looks like he chose someone over me a few days ago and made it official. yet he is still texting me , calling me to go out without “his chosen “ girlfriend 😕🙁
Mine said it’s because he fell in love with me and he has fear of failure
That he didn’t expect it
Men do experience this.. but they can move past it
I’ve done some self inquiry and it seems like I just obsess over him and mentally focus all my energy on him when I’m around him and acting overly emotional or defensive when he’s not “being how I want him to be”, but it’s been like this with pretty much every connection in the past, it’s not even like I say anything it’s just in my energy that I feel like I have no contro over!! Almost like limerence ?! How do I change this or what do I do inside of me to fix this because I’ve lost so many people because of my natural self and I don’t wanna lose another who I just adore 😢please help 😢
He said let’s slow down I pulled completely, I lost interest in him if someone block my heart I lose interest in everything 😂😂😂 now even if he come I don’t see him as before let him. Someone better for him 😂 good luck
I was looking at this video for you to tell me what to do if he's disthen all you done. It was told me it was my fault that I need to look at myself. You really didn't say anything about if everything is good. You showing up in the relationship and he still being distant. You just saying everything is my fault to look at me and see what I'm doing sometime. People are just emotionally unavailable, but don't know how to say it. Just wanna play games with your feelings and bread crumbs😮
She started putting red flags and going out quietly with others men every day telling me lies staying out in the hotels and guests houses with the guys keeping her child and dog in her parents house who want a woman like this not me i prefer to back off. Stay out of trouble.
I’m so sorry Clayton! You don’t deserve this and this is not the type of woman I am addressing in my video nor do I condone this behavior.
Does this also count with someone who you have a crush on at work, and it really really feels like he feels the same even tho I’m pretty sure he has a gf which I at first didn’t know, but we haven’t actually spoken about this but he sometimes seems to completely avoid me at work and I don’t understand it when I really get the feelings off him and signs. It’s really confusing 😢
Ask him if he has a gf, I mean you need to know right?
Then you can go from there
@@Liza-Loves-You he’s literally my boss tho I’m way too scared to just ask that 🙄😩
Great ❤😊
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To the women constantly talking about avoidant and narc traits. Please stop. These are silly labels...Relationships are work and a lifestyle choice. There is no incentive to commit fully or for a lifetime anymore. Think critically...All those incentives are long gone. Throw in contraception it changed everything.
There was a lot of info in this vid
🙏
What a stunning looking woman intelligence creative beauty 😍😍😍
Thank you 😊
Love anny man would be proud to have you on his arm.i watch and listen to your advice I hink a lot of men should I'm starting to understand about where I went wrong with my lady ..so it's me who should be thanking you madam thank you for your advice God bless ..
What if he wants sex too early, after several weeks/months of talking, and we go on our 2nd date and I say no not yet, and he pulls away.... 🙄
His ego is hurt for sure, and I'm saying I don't move that fast but I really like him, but he can't handle the rejection... 😕😐😐
Leave him alone. If he can’t control his sexual urges, he has deeper issues to deal with. He’s filled with lust, he’ll probably cheat. Hes immature. He’s probably a narcissist. A man that respects you would respect your boundaries. You wasn’t rejecting him, you have values and standards.
Yeah you don't want this one. Move on.
I would say also that when Women pull away men should take a clue and keVe us alone.
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❤❤
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I don't need to blame myself..what a stupid video...he's getting over a relationship
You spelled “she” wrong
Omfg women please don't.
Don't what?
Amazing and educated lady
Thank you ☺️🤗
The game people play.
Pretty biased against men, aren't you? It works both ways.
This is funny. We're told to do the same thing to women that you're telling men to do.