What are some of the things you'd say to your younger self? Here are some of mine: 00:00 intro 01:33 Learn about Debt 04:50 Do Group Sports 07:45 Enjoy the Process 11:18 Trust your Parents more 17:04 Preserve your Beauty and Youth Thank you for watching :) Please like, comment and subscribe! :) ♥
Blessings to you!! When I was younger, I wish someone had shared the info on this link with me. Maybe it will be of help to someone here...--> Fathersloveletter.com
I had to stop the video to comment bc I feel so strongly about this and hope you see the comment! 1- my own mother started pursuing athletic activities when she turned 40. It’s never too late! 2- tennis lessons might be a good entry point. Lessons at a club can be expensive but there are usually local “pro’s” that give private or group lessons, which I think would still be possible during Quarantine 3- let Mila try everything! You’ll meet so many other parents and a community that way too
I’m a 22 year old young woman, and I just want to say I truly appreciate your ability to be open with us in such a genuine way and share your experiences. I’m so thankful for this wisdom, and I admire the way you invite growth into your life. So much 💛 for you!
“Constantly in a never ending circle of looking for a friend.” Maria I felt that!! I’ve always wanted a bond with someone, or to find a friend who is truly dedicated. I often get the feeling that some of us just put more into friendships than others... maybe we all just need to learn to be our own best friend
I think you’ll be surprised when Mila grows up just how much you’ll want to guide her. Eventually you’ll have to let her live & learn as your parents did with you. It’s the hardest part. You are such a sweet soul. Thank you for sharing this.
A message to everyone watching this video: Your pain is only temporary. This feeling will not last forever. Stay safe and love yourself. Something wonderful is going to happen for you soon, trust the path you're on 💜
I would tell my younger self to stop worrying about others when I was in high school and just focus on myself. Amazing how things you cared about at that age literally mean nothing compared to now! Lol (I’m 36!)
@@ccts547 honestly... yes!! Don’t worry about anything else. I was always worried about what others thought of me and being “popular” now, I don’t talk to anyone from high school and they have no bearing on me life. You may feel like a “loser” at the time but focus on yourself and your schooling and the sky’s the limit. Friends will come and go and you’ll meet people later in life that will be great friends to you!
I'm 37 and spent my teens and twenties denying and trying to hide an eating disorder, panic disorder, PTSD, and depression. I would love to go back and give that poor, scared girl a big hug and tell her that it's not weak to admit you need help, and it doesn't make you less of a person. You'll feel so much better if you're honest with yourself and others and actively seek the treatment you need to get better.
Seeing you cry when you started talking about how you want a mother figure in your life hit me in my heart! You are one of those people who truly deserve every happy thing in life, and I wish with all my heart you had something like that. It’s not too late to work on your relationship with your mum now, all my love to you Maria!!
I would tell myself that there's no need to be intimidated by anyone. We're all here in the same boat and there's no situation where I don't have the right to be comfortable talking with anyone of any age, authority, or popularity. (this one may have given me some issues with listening to authority in the last few years but I'm ok with that 😂)
I’m sure God put you on this Earth for this exact reason making UA-cam videos for us . I really needed something right now and before the video even started I knew this was going to a be a treat for my soul 💜
Maria your segment about your mom hit so close to home! I'm almost 30 and I feel like my parents know basically nothing about me. We've kept each other at arm's length for so long that it feels too late. But you sharing your thoughts was really encouraging. I'm also about to be a mom myself and oh my gosh this video made me realize how much I'd treasure parenting advice from you! I feel like you would have such a great take on motherhood and forming good bonds with your kids.
Becoming a parent yourself could be a real opportunity to reconnect with your own parents. It will also open your eyes to just how powerful a parent's love is and how much you matter to them. ❤
Totally! I remember graduating high school and not having a clue how to even pay rent or write out a check (I’m dating myself here.) Had to learn it all on my own. They taught us virtually NOTHING that’s applicable in the way of real, everyday life skills.
@@rainsofhealing agreed!!!! We had CALM class (Career and Life Management) and all it was about getting a job. Nothing else. Would have been nice to know how to balance a budget, do my own taxes, manage debt etc!!
Honestly, school hasn't taught me anything besides reading. I'm not saying that people shouldn't finish their school. I do like to study and learn new things etc. I totally agree with you though!
@@rainsofhealing They actually taught us how to write checks and balance a checkbook in 8th grade, which was 10 years ago now. But nothing about actual bank accounts, loans, anything like that.
I'm 19 and failed uni entrance exams for 3rd time this year. I feel really lost and upset with myself, it's like I'm wasting my youth even if it's a dream of mine. I feel so useless. Thanks for being a comforting figure, Maria. In times like these I come here to find some peace. Love you.
❤️❤️ I hope you can't feel better by approaching this from a new perspective! I know there's something for you out there or maybe you've found it already. Take care.
It’s so interesting to me that you have talked (more than this video) about having that motherly figure, or even female friend that you can depend on. That’s because I think so many people view you as that person. Or wish they had someone like you in their life for the very same reasons. You are a wonderful human Maria! Thanks for always caring for your community!
Pretty sure Maria has even acknowledged that in a past video of hers - her not really having a mother figure and how that translates into her being like one on camera.
Omg you make me cry. I feel exactly the same way. Just in a different situation. I really feel all alone. Constantly wishing my mom would be the kind of mother I need her to be. I’m tired of always being strong alone. I need my mother. I am 29 and I still need my mother so much because she never have me what I needed growing up so I feel like the need never goes away, because I never got it fulfilled. I love how you open up to us like this. I have really come to care for you. You are probably the most real and raw person on UA-cam and I appreciate you so much. As much as you help others to find peace and sleep, you need comfort and support too. I hope you feel safe and loved. An if you have a need not being met, I hope you can get it soon. Sweet you 🌹 hugs to you.
Maria, if it makes any difference, I feel like I have felt the same way about needing a mother figure, and I actually feel like I get that through your ASMR videos. That's one of the reasons I love your channels! You are a very naturally kind, nurturing and caring person and it shows through your work. I appreciate you so much
Going back and watching this two years later, I relate to the parent section of this video so much. I spent the last decade only having surface-level convos with my mother for the very reason you mentioned-fear of what her response would be. I’m unlearning this habit I formed of trying to anticipate everyone’s responses to everything because I think that’s one of the root causes of anxiety. We want so badly to be in control, but we can never control how others will respond to us. It’s all about learning to let go.
Don't go to uni just to go to uni if you're not sure. I ended up dropping out of my education degree and now I have a $17,000+ debt which gets indexed every year. It makes me crawl into the fetal position and cry.
SO true. I went to uni, I never liked what I studied but I never had courage to change direction. I graduaded 1 year too late, and now I cant even use it, there arent any jobs within it. Now I also pay back for it every month.
@@rebeka145 yep. Youre literally throwing money into a furnace as you pay it off because you never finished and will never use it. Money for nothing. It seriously depresses me one of my biggest regrets
This is what I would tell my younger self too! But I did complete my degree and lived at home/worked/got some scholarships so I have only a little more in debt than you, but still I would tell myself - don't just do a degree because you don't know what you want to do. Take 1+ gap year(s), work a shitty job (would've been a lot easier without full time studies on top!) and actually explore the career paths you are interested in - research, job-shadow, email people in the field and ask them to go for coffee, anything! I spent 4 years of my life being absolutely miserable and hating my degree and it's looking like I won't even be using it in my career. One of the issues in my case was that my parents told me I could only live with them if I was still in school - very dated view now, my children will be encouraged to live at home to save money and take time after high school to figure out what they want to do.
I'm really struggling...been wishing I wouldn't wake up. My housemates are horrible, I can't breathe where I live and it's my birthday tomorrow which reminds me that I have no family or anyone... since 2014. Been crying and it takes so much effort to move. I wish I had a family to see for xmas and birthdays but it's just been me...I don't belong anywhere or to anyone. I can't seem to meet nice people no matter how authentic to myself and kind I try to be to others... I just don't see my use here anymore. Thanks for keeping me company... been watching for a while, you're the only person that doesn't make me feel alone and like there's one good person out there.
this will be a milestone in your life when u get out of that horrible conditions and work towards that milestone that is sure to come ❤️ i hope your birthday is everything u want it to be , happy early birthday!!!
I've had times in my life when I had noone and felt like the whole world conspired against me. Looking back it's incredible how things can change in a way i couldve never imagined. I wish you all the strength to keep on fighting❤️
I really love those kind of videos where you talk for a long time about subjects that are important to you. I could listen to you talking for hours and hours 🙂
I would have told myself to look for love from within, not from someone else. My childhood was horrible (emotionally/mentally abusive parents) and I was so starved for love, I fell fast and hard the second anyone gave me any extra attention. I lost so much focus on myself as an individual by pouring every ounce of love I had into the other person, and I would give up so much of myself because I was just so happy that I could please someone, but I never received the type love that I craved. In that sense, I even put too much pressure on the other person to give me something they couldn’t. The love I was looking for was/is in me somewhere, I still struggle with it now in my mid-20’s, but it’s getting better. And after many years of slowly, but surely realizing this, I am now able to pour all of this love not just into my partner, but also into myself ❤️ Note: I am still very much traumatized from my experiences and it unfortunately affects my life every single day - it’s a tangled up mess that’s spread all throughout my entire being, it manifests in so many ways, and I definitely need to continue working on myself. Loving yourself when you never have before is so much easier said than done, and while loving yourself is incredibly important, it may not always be the solution to all your troubles. In my particular case, a need for self-love resulted from the lack of love from my parents. To fill that void, I had to do it myself. You can do this, too, but remember that sometimes these things are much more complicated than they appear - so don’t get discouraged if you still feel like something’s missing. That’s okay. You will find it ❤️
Oh my god girl I totally feel you on the debt thing. I thought I had a good handle and knowledge on managing money and debt but this year has definitely taught me that I didn't truly understand debt.
My mum passed away from cancer 3 1/2 years ago and honestly not opening up to her more and talking to her more is my biggest regret. I closed off cause I wanted to shelter myself but really it just cost me a lifetime of pain.
My dad passed away 3 1/2 years ago and I feel the same way. I thought bottling everything up was the right choice at the time but it wasn’t. I sympathize with you.
Maria, it is SO insane to me you uploaded a video talking about this tonight!! Cried tonight about money and the credit card debt I’m in. It’s not a lot, but I’m starting my own business and struggling while also 8 months pregnant. Really having to decide if I keep at it or put it on the back burner again. I’m only 23, I know I have lots of time. But I hate how money-centered my life has become. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. This video has comforted me by letting me know I’m not alone in having financial worries!!! Much love. What I would tell me you get self: my mom is doing her best.
Dear Maria, This is such a heartfelt video. As someone whose mother was too much of a narcissist to ever look beyond herself and really see her daughters for who they were (and not a reflection of herself), I long felt the biggest gift you can give a daughter (or son) is to observe her way of being in the world, and openly acknowledge those things that make her uniquely herself. Not unlike you, l looked for that kind of motherly support and acknowledgement much of my adult life, and only now, at 70, do I have it from friends and from myself. And even at this age, it has been utterly, positively life-changing in ways I could not have imagined. Being truly "seen" by someone you trust and love, is the greatest foundation anyone can have. And coming from you, that kind of recognition and support from someone whom Mila wholly loves and who loves her dearly will help her to be herself fully with comfort and confidence.
“Once you reach something it feels like you haven’t really gotten it” I love the way you worded that - it’s so hard to explain that feeling, and it often makes me feel ungrateful too. But I think you’re absolutely right in that it means we need to enjoy each moment, not just the ones that society deems “important”
This hit so close to home for me. My mom passed away unexpectedly 2 years ago. I miss her so much, and I have so many regrets about our relationship, and now it's too late. I can't go back and change things, but I'm trying to build new connections by volunteering with different organizations in my community. I make wellness check phone calls for Meals on Wheels to housebound seniors, and that connection has been so important to me, I might get more out of it than the clients do. I hope you're able to build your American/Californian 'family' and find your people.
Something I would tell my younger self right now is learn to be comfortable being by yourself and fully getting to know yourself and what you want. Also the importance of independence.
Your admittance of always searching for a friend and that person you can lean on, speaks to me! I’m close with my mom but she and my dad don’t live nearby and while I have my husband and our daughters, I struggle to find that one woman close by that gets being a mom, understands the struggle that we face of always wanting to be enough, and just a friend you can depend on. Hang in there, Maria! You are not alone!
You should update this video every year. Even if it’s just for you…it is refreshing to see how far you have come over the years, how much your mind has evolved and what more you have to offer yourself since the beginning of your journey. I am 28 tomorrow and I have been watching you since I was 19. December 2014 marks the day when I found your channel on the news. Your presence is very comforting, but it’s your personal journey that inspires most of us. And I think that is why so many love you. You have never stopped evolving, improving and uplifting your community and everyone around you and although I don’t know you in person I do know that I see a very beautiful woman inside and out that has worked hard for everything she has. I see you Maria and it is really great that I’ve followed you all this time.
Oh Maria I have the same issue with my mom since I immigrated to another country, 'just come back!' I can't just come back, my life is here now even though it's hard, and most importantly it just feels right to be where I am ... I hope that is my intuition leading me down the right path and that I will lead a similar life to you, going from hardships to success in an unexpected field and a beautiful family!
Things I would like to say to my younger self certainly change over the years :o) Now, in my 50s, I would say: - time is really precious, do not waste it - pay attention in class, even the things you think you will not need, are important later - learn to handle money well (that one is very true, Maria :o)) - move a lot - walk, dance, swim, anything; find an exercise which you enjoy (it may change over the years) - do not be afraid to learn new skills; every new thing you learn to use will boost your confidence - (and this one applies to me, I am not forcing it on anyone :o)) time spent with the kids is never lost And - dear Maria, thank you for your honesty; you are now a mum also, which I think can help you to understand your own parents as well - balancing caring and letting go to grow up can be really difficult. I am a better friend with my mum now that I have ever been! Wishing you all the best, stay safe, all of you!
I watch your ASMR videos and i completely love them, but this right here where you are completely open and vulnerable this is gold, we are able to experience another beautiful side to you so thank you for letting us in. I think this video came in at the right time of my life because although I am pretty young still 24, I made many mistakes in my teenage years but the one thing I wish i would have done differently is trust my mother and be there for her when she needed me. I now have a 4 year old daughter and know what is like to be a mother so thank you! Everything you said is exactly how I’m feeling right now about my mom her love is beyond anything i can explain, I just want to be able to be there for her like she has been for me I want to build that special bond with her and be completely transparent if there’s anyone that deserves to know the true me is her. You are strong and beautiful thank you for making this kind of videos, you are able to touch peoples lives through them. You are an inspiration 💖
Listen, your beauty and youth is preserved! You do what you feel you need to do to be happy but you are gorgeous inside and out; that hasn't changed one iota in the many, many, many years I have been watching your channels. You are here for us and we are all here for you Maria, remember that.
I would have told myself to follow my gut more. I was diagnosed with adhd as an adult but as a teenager I knew something was wrong. It caused me to struggle in education and with money. Just follow your gut more. Xx
Listening to Sassy Masha vlogs is my favourite thing to do when I do my hair for example. But today I had to pause doing it to write this comment. I feel you on so many levels Maria, I feel like we’re soul sisters. We’ve got many things in common. I find myself in a lot what you say and I think a lot of that stems from being a female immigrant. I left my Eastern European home country at 19, and I’m currently living in the UK. I think that leaving your country, family, everything you know behind takes SUCH a big toll on you. I didn’t realised until recently, and it’s been nearly 10 years. It so much to take emotionally, physically and financially for a young girl. It’s a huge risk. So after taking that huge risk you expect to be achieving these amazing goals and what not. And sometimes your family also puts an extra pressure on you because since you left you must have this amazing life there because otherwise your hard work wasn’t worth it. I was also portraying much better picture during Skype calls with my mum, and then I would cry myself to sleep cause I was so unhappy. Unless you’ve been through it yourself you don’t know that first few years on immigration just feel like survival. Getting a job, place to live, etc. I was so consumed by just staying on the surface that I didn’t allow myself to think about ME. I living for people that I worked for and for my family to bring nice presents and stories for Christmas when I visit. But the first few years I didn’t once think of what I want from life apart form just surviving. Now, 9 years on I’m realising that I don’t have to achieve these amazing things for the whole process to be worth it. I’ve got an ordinary life now, probably not far from what my friends from my country have. But it’s okay. It doesn’t mean I failed and it wasn’t worth it. I’m due to graduate from Uni next year, I’ve got a job, place to live, loving fiancé and maybe this is as good as my life gets? I’m learning to being in the moment and enjoying the simple things in life, not expecting this exciting unknown or what’s around the corner all the time cause I’d miss out on what’s happening now. Sorry for my ramble, but I feel strong connection with you Maria on this level 💜 Greeting to you Maria, you should do some workshop or seminar online, I’d definitely attend! Ps. And debt of course - I’m still in the process of paying off cards I took years ago but eventually I get there.
Thank you, Maria! I can't be with my family for the holidays this year bc of you-know-what and I don't get to see them very often so I've been feeling down about it. So thank you for talking about your own parents and helping people like me be better. Your motherly presence always makes me feel calmer. You are a blessing to the world, Maria :)
Enjoy the process- yes!!! The way you explained this was spot on! I completely agree with this. ❤️ And Maria, my heart was aching for you when you spoke about a friend. I wish I could give you the biggest hug. It took me a long time to find my people, my person who I can share everything with. I met my sweet friend when my son started school. She was a mom at the school. We’ve been friends ever since- for 14 years now. I will pray you find your person. We are also here for you....even if from afar! ❤️❤️❤️
Most importantly trust your parents there usually right & only want what’s best for you . I’d tell myself you deserve better & don’t settle for less . Exercise & stretch daily to keep your bones, muscles & whole body healthy. Love yourself & don’t live to please other’s . Great video thanks, you are so soft spoken it’s really comforting 💜
I would tell myself to take care of myself, think about myself, what I truly want or want to dont and what I like ... And also I would tell myself that not everybody has to like me and that I don‘t owe nothing to anyone. Beautiful and emotional Video 😍❤️
Maria i found one of your older videos while i was scrolling old subscriptions and now i'm re- watching all your videos once again! I found this one and it made me a little emotional, cause even though i'm still very young, i wish i could turn back time and say certain things to myself. Thanks for being who you are, everyone loves you! ♥️🌹
Very good list! At its core, it's everything I have and will continue to tell my daughter ..son.. and myself. You are probably wiser than you think and have a beautiful soul, Maria! Both of my parents are gone, so I would add not only to trust them but to enjoy them as much as you can. I can recall hundreds of times my mom annoyed me, but I literally dream of her at times and I hug her with all my might and it feels so deep and real. It soothes me and hurts all at the same time. The funny thing is, the things that annoyed me were the things she did out of love. Like I do for my children. I get that now, at 40. Love your heart and videos! Thanks for sharing! ❤
What you said about your parents is so true Maria, it brought a tear to my eye 💗 It's hard when you're halfway across the world and feel like you have to make your parents proud, or prove yourself, or whatever keeps you from trusting them. Most parents have so much love to give, and I'm so thankful for them. I'm also super thankful for your videos! I started watching you about 5 years ago and I feel like you've kind of been there throughout my transition from a teenager to a young woman 💞🥰 thank you for all that you do, Maria!
We love you Maria! As a therapist I can totally assure you, you are not alone. Not being afraid to check in with yourself on the journey of life is one of the greatest gifts of self care you can do. Good job!
Maria, I swear you give the best advice! I'm 22, and I plan to apply everything you just told me into my own life. Some advice in return about the chemical peels and micro needling: I've been seeing my esthetician for facials once a month for almost 2 years now, and she either does microdermabrasion OR a chemical peel on me depending on whatever the hell my skin is doing. It's SO worth it! Microdermabrasion reveals such beautiful skin underneath all the dead skin at the surface. The chemical peels I do are not strong at all (typically glycolic acid or salicylic acid peels). They are not medical grade peels - just a light tingling sensation for a few minutes, and then she deactivates it and removes it. If you are looking for a good resurfacing cream, I suggest the Glo Skin Glycolic Resurfacing Cream. I use it at night, and during the day I use a moisturizer with SPF 30 in it. Much love as always!
When you were talking about 'enjoying the process' i could totally relate, and i never understood why whenever i achieve something or succeed, i don't get happy..it's exactly like you said !! So i'll try to apply your advice P.S. When you talked about your parents it made me tear up ! Thank you so much for opening up and sharing valuable advice i'll try to have a deeper closer relationship with my parents and cherish them ❤ you're a wonderful beauutiful soul Maria ❤
Hey Maria I love this video more than words can say. This is just what I needed to hear 🥰🥰! I just have to say that I love and enjoy every moment of your videos. I love how you’re so down to earth and just talk to us like a friend over coffee. I’m 14 and my relationship with my mum is almost non existent and sometimes i try to get closer to her, but she pushes me away. I’d just like to say that I see you as a mother figure. I have learned more from you in this 20 min video than I have learned from my mum in my life! You’re so full of wisdom and knowledge and you’re so funny and genuine ! Please make more of these chats because I just need this mother figure, this mentor in my life and I’m sure many of your subscribers do too. Also I want to let you know that we are your UA-cam family and we will always be here for you whenever you need us, or even when you don’t 😘😘 Love you so much and take care of yourself and Mila and all the fam Xx Sofia
The portion where you talked about wanting a better relationship with your mom really resonated with me. I often feel the same way, especially coming from an abusive household. I want so badly for my mom to care about me and to know me and to be proud of me, but I don't feel like I can trust her. I find a lot of comfort in your videos. A lot of comfort that I never really felt during childhood and I'm sure you make your daughter feel the same way. Comfortable and safe. Just making an effort is often times enough.
I relate to You so much on a deep level. Moving states away from my family has absolutely killed me but I’m here only for a while until I get things together.
Maria, the very fact that you are self aware and introspective just shows that you are on the right path. Be patient with yourself and time will bring you what you diserve ♥
Maria, I say this with ALL the love in the world. PLEASE don't be so vein about your looks/ youth. I like you so much as a person for the beautiful and caring personality and aura that you have towards people. Your constant worrying about your youth puts me off. There are so many more important and wonderful things in life to focus on. Just keep up with your skin as best you can and age gracefully. Your mom is absolutely beautiful and I don't think she has done anything to herself. You look like your mom. You'll be more than fine in years to come. Looks will always fade. You'll have wasted your youth if you spend it worrying about it. Work on your soul and your light. ❤
Thank you so much Maria for sharing these words of wisdom. I resonate with all of the things you shared. You’re such a beautiful soul, and your daughter is so blessed to have you in her life.
Oh, Maria, when you teared up about your mom - - 😢I totally feel what you're feeling, missing a mother figure, or wanting a stronger bond with your mom. I always had trouble connecting with my own mother, and with my dad gone since the age of 11, I felt like I'm all on my own. But ever since I found your videos, I feel like I have a strong female presence to look up to - even though we don't know each other personally. Thank you so much for sharing - and of course for the amazing content and community you've created here on UA-cam. You're one of my idols. Have a blessed holiday season.
I think i took a lot of things for granted in the past, and although i really wish I hadn't, the truth is I was so lost. I had no idea of who i truly was or what to do with myself. I think part of it just as a symptom of youth too. There are things I know now about life that there's no way I would back then, on multiple levels. I had to make some tough decisions as I got older, some of them having no right ir wrong answer, both options having downsides. I still feel the effects of that today. But i'm working on healing a lot of pain that I carry still. So i guess my advice would be to explore as much as you can while young. Try not to be too destructively reckless, but know you can also bounce back from a lot. Find and keep in touch with who you are as a person. If you know what you want to do for career then that's great. If not, don't stress about it. Schools put a lot of emphasis on it but you are more important than the ways in which you think you want to make money. Value resilience and flexibility, and keeping calm when life throws you some curveballs. They're things you can practice by observing your own relationship with the need for things to be in control. And also don't stress if there are some things you just don't know or can't figure out. You never stop learning, growing, changing, evolving. You got this!
I’m in my early 20s and so much of what you said resonated with me and made me think about things differently. Sending you lots of love 💗🌸 Even though we don’t know each other, i think of you as a cherished wise friend/ confidant & I appreciate this kind of video more than you’d think 🥰 Thank you for everything!
Also I have had some experience with lasers, chemical peels and microneedling & I think that, when it comes to maintaining healthy youthful skin, microneedling is probably your best bet. Chemical peels can make a big difference in how fresh your face looks in the short term (like when you suntan and the tanned burnt skin peels off and the new skin underneath is bright and baby smooth, you know?). Still, since you have such an even skin tone n all, i don’t think it would benefit you all that much, and you might get back to square one within a couple of weeks. Laser results can vary a lot I suppose, but I do prefer lasers to chemical peels. If you’re scared of microneedling you can always start with smaller needles. Just some anecdotal opinions that might help you make up your mind. Xx much love 💕
I feel like you're the older sister I never had! You help me a lot when you talk about those sensitive things. It's so genuine and raw, thank you Maria, I'm sure you help many of us! You're just the sweetest, and the way you speak makes me feel like everything it's going to be okay 🤍
I so feel what you said about seeking friendship (I think once you mentioned specifically wanting Mom friends!) I have been wanting and seeking out opportunities to make Mom friends since my first son was born and I am finally, finally, FINALLY getting somewhere-and he just turned 5! Motherhood is a lonely road-I hope your Mom friends will come to you soon, and you to them. They will be lucky to have you ❤️
the mother figure thing is so relatable. I think it just comes from not wanting to hurt our mums with news that things are maybe not going so well, and not wanting to make them worry - sadly, I'm really in the same state, and I'm the same age as you Masha, so your good advice is maybe coming too late for me also. I do 100% sympathise with this feeling xx
I completely understand and can relate to your mom/ family portion of this video! I think we/I cannot be anything but strong in front of my dad. My mother was never there for me and so I developed a strong will to be independent and competent on my own. Many years later and I find the same thing, I am looking for friends who I can be open and let my guard down without judging me or anything. It’s hard, especially in today’s society where there is this competition and so you cannot seem to not have it all together! It’s a struggle and sometimes I wish I could just open up and be brave. I’m sure it’s so much harder for someone in the public eye too, everyone puts you up on a pedestal and you don’t want to let anyone down! Hugs and wishing you peace... keep trying and be brave!💗😘🥰🙏🏻
Maria! This made me so emotional, you’ve done a phenomenal job with everything over the years - I’ve been a viewer since 2011. From all of us that have been fans since you first started and have gotten to watch you build your channel and career, move across the country and start your family, we could not be happier or more proud 👏👏 Your ASMR videos helped me sleep to get through law school and the bar exam, now I’m 6 years in practicing law, married with a family and I feel like you were part of that journey. You help so many people, I hope you know that!
It pulled at my heartstrings to watch you say these things. The part about your mom really got to me. My mom passed a year ago and we were really close - she lived with me part of the year, and we spent a ton of time together, but there were some things we couldn’t talk about. She had skewed perceptions of men and relationships. I helped her to open her mind. I took her on a big trip in May and she passed away at the end of September. My advice is: do those big plans. Do them now. Borrow, inconvenience, do whatever you need to do to live out your dreams regarding your parents because life is short and life is cruel and once it changes like this, it does not change back - it’s over. Love your parents really hard. I feel that same longing to have a mother figure who’s there for me - I feel I’m the mother figure for my friends but I can’t go to anyone. I really hope you find someone. You’re special and you deserve a fantastic BFF and/or mother figure. ❤️
Hi Maria, I had to comment it was such a strange coincidence. I was listening in the bath after playing netball, while you were talking about money I was thinking team sports are perfect for this--it costs so little but it gets you out socialising and it's healthy and wholesome...imagine my surprise when team sports were number two! I wanted to add they're so good for mental health, just forgetting about life and focusing completely on a ball for a while, also accepting that you catch some, you miss some, no need to feel bad or anxious about these tiny successes and failures, you are training your brain synapses so I agree its a great thing to have in your life. Also sunscreen! I make sure it's in my moisturizer and foundation so it isn't an extra thing to remember. Happy belated birthday to Mila, I had my third little boy around the same time, it's been cute watching the odd video of her progress x
I'm always in the circle of looking for a friend or mom figure too. I have been successful a few times, but have pushed them away due to my own problems. I wish I could give you a hug and help you fill that void in your heart a little bit.
I agree that we lose ourselves in the idea of the end result of our projects, creations, goals.. we miss out on the journey & process. Thank you for sharing your experiences and wisdom 🙏🏼💗
Watching these videos is like therapy to me. Your soft, maternal voice and your sensitivity give me such peace. And the soft background music makes such a difference... I wish there were more ASMR videos with soft music in the background. As for the advice you shared, it's such a gift. Thank you for reminding me to enjoy the process more. And if you are always looking for a friend...can I send in an application?
I would hug her and tell her she is worthy. No amount of external people/places/things will make you worthy. I spent a lot of my first three decades trying to gain acceptance and love from the wrong people. And I'm working on my vulnerability, but that's a big one for me too.
Maria you are such a genuine and real person and so refreshing to listen to. When you said you were just looking for that friend and woman guidance I just wanted to reach through the screen and hug you! Lol you would be such a wonderful friend to have! You seem like such a wonderful human being, a amazing mother and wife! You always take care of us with your videos your hard work and effort really shines through! Take some time for yourself, stop and smell the roses, you deserve it! I hope everyone is staying happy and healthy! One day at a time. We all can get through this hard year!
Hmmm... after having a very rough childhood myself, I would say everything is going to be just fine no matter how hard it seems it will always get better. I think that I turned out to be a pretty good human being and wouldn’t take any of it back. I love my life and who I have become. I’m the type of person that wants to rescue people and when I see you like this I want to give you a big hug and tell you everything will be just fine!
maria, i watch these videos as if i'm listening to the big sister i never had! i'm loving the positivity in your comments section and i echo everyone's feelings. you are a bright spot in this life! sending love from the east coast.
The topic of opening up to your parents and being a parent resonated with me so much! I am a new-ish mom to a 15mo and I feel like having a child really makes me think about my relationship with my own parents and it breaks my heart!
Who knew 1 year after this video was made I would stumble upon it and need to hear 11:18 🥺 thank you for sharing your experiences... I definitely can relate
When I was twenty-five, I moved to Colorado from the east coast. Here are some things that brought me into contact with people and allowed me to make friends: I play guitar (badly!) and I like to sing, so I went to “open mic” nights and jam sessions in town. (Check the weekend edition of your local paper for information; you’ll be surprised what you’ll find about goings-on in your area.) I worked at an office that employed about forty people. I signed up for classes. I got to know my neighbors. I advertised for roommates (and checked references!). I learned to swing dance. I went to church. I volunteered. I stayed in touch with my old pals on the east coast. Eventually I found kind, smart, fun, creative people to hang out with. I met others through them. I, too, wish I’d listened more to Mom. I miss her. But I am blessed with loving friends, and we nurture and support one another. Best of all, we make each other laugh.
Hi Maria! First of all I love all of your videos including the ones from this channel. They have helped me tremendously in different ways over the years, so thank you and keep em coming! My comment is relating to your topic of "trusting your parents more", where you yourself are searching for a "mother figure" or someone that you can really connect with. I had that with my daughter. Tragically she was murdered three years ago on Thanksgiving day. Since losing her I have lost that connection with another person and I continue to search for that same connection or something close. I've yet to find it. My daughter was my best friend and soul mate. She often times said that she felt as if maybe she was my mother in a different life, probably true. I lost my own mother 19 years ago. Anyway, just wanted to share as I really identify with your struggle. Love you Maria! And stay strong and beautiful!
Maria, I have struggled with my skin for over 10 years. I've had multiple laser treatments (Fraxel, CO2, IPL), microneedling both with and without PRP, and chemical peels. I would advise you against a laser treatment. I also am fair complected, and found that I have some permanent redness that never completely goes away. I also flush very easily now compared to before my laser treatments. Chemical peels are fine, provided they are low strength and done by a provider in office. You should try microneedling. It is amazing for resurfacing/texture issues. It also helps with fine lines and minimizing larger pores. If you add PRP, you will see even better results after just one treatment as opposed to a series of, for example, 3 treatments.
I miss these sit down talks so much. You are such an inspiration to many people❤ however I do believe you should give yourself some grace you are such a beautiful person,mother and wife ❤
Maria, I'm quite a bit older than you are and also an expat, so I think I understand a little what you mean about looking for a mother figure in your life. For me this was especially hard when my kids were small and my parents weren't to hand, and there were a lot of hard times. When you're not even in the same country, it's tough and I feel you. I think that when we become a mother we also are still ourselves a child, and we really feel that need for wisdom and guidance and nurture. It's good that you talk about this and I'm sending lots of
Not everyone has a supportive loving family who educates them. So sometimes it's best when you teach yourself, and help yourself become the person you want to be ♥️ also just because it's your family doesn't mean you should stick by them if they upset you, disrespect you, intimidate you etc.
I would tell myself to focus on enjoying the present, appreciating the moment I am in. We all have a tendency to overthink the past and worry about the future to the extent that we forget to enjoy what's right in front of us. I would tell myself to stop thinking that the grass is always greener, and worrying about what could have/should have/might have happened, and cherish what is happening right now.
thank you SO much for this, you’re a very strong person to opened like this to social media, we love you and are so proud of you !!! you definitely helped me with this information and i’m sure you helped so much people more.
This is so important you may have really alleviated some serious fear and pain from a lot of amazing women's futures so underrated and so glad you thought to share
I’ll be turning 18 in January, and I really appreciate this advice. Even though I’m still a teenager, there are so many things I wish I could taught and told to my younger preteen self. Maria, if you did more videos like this, that would be really amazing and I would for sure watch them ❤️❤️.
What are some of the things you'd say to your younger self?
Here are some of mine:
00:00 intro
01:33 Learn about Debt
04:50 Do Group Sports
07:45 Enjoy the Process
11:18 Trust your Parents more
17:04 Preserve your Beauty and Youth
Thank you for watching :)
Please like, comment and subscribe! :) ♥
Hope you and family are well 💗
thank YOU Maria😊
Exactly what I would tell myself!
Blessings to you!! When I was younger, I wish someone had shared the info on this link with me. Maybe it will be of help to someone here...--> Fathersloveletter.com
I had to stop the video to comment bc I feel so strongly about this and hope you see the comment!
1- my own mother started pursuing athletic activities when she turned 40. It’s never too late!
2- tennis lessons might be a good entry point. Lessons at a club can be expensive but there are usually local “pro’s” that give private or group lessons, which I think would still be possible during Quarantine
3- let Mila try everything! You’ll meet so many other parents and a community that way too
I don't know if I'd say much to my younger self, but I'd give her a really long hug.
That hit home...
Yep, 100%
This is exactly what I would do.. give her a huge hug and tell her that I love her
I’m a 22 year old young woman, and I just want to say I truly appreciate your ability to be open with us in such a genuine way and share your experiences. I’m so thankful for this wisdom, and I admire the way you invite growth into your life. So much 💛 for you!
Ditto^^^^
crazy to see you here sol! i’ve followed you on insta and twitter for years! had no idea you were a fan of maria :’) much love
“Constantly in a never ending circle of looking for a friend.” Maria I felt that!! I’ve always wanted a bond with someone, or to find a friend who is truly dedicated. I often get the feeling that some of us just put more into friendships than others... maybe we all just need to learn to be our own best friend
I think you’ll be surprised when Mila grows up just how much you’ll want to guide her. Eventually you’ll have to let her live & learn as your parents did with you. It’s the hardest part. You are such a sweet soul. Thank you for sharing this.
A message to everyone watching this video: Your pain is only temporary. This feeling will not last forever. Stay safe and love yourself. Something wonderful is going to happen for you soon, trust the path you're on 💜
Thanks for that
@@kittycat-yb3px You’re welcome! I hope you’re okay 💕
There should be more people like you spreading optimism and hope! Thank you very much for that 🤗
💜
Thank you ❤️ I really needed to hear this right now
I would tell my younger self to stop worrying about others when I was in high school and just focus on myself. Amazing how things you cared about at that age literally mean nothing compared to now! Lol (I’m 36!)
Absolutely agreed!
Yes, always put yourself first
As a high school student this made me happy and made me realise I need to focus on me :))
@@ccts547 honestly... yes!! Don’t worry about anything else. I was always worried about what others thought of me and being “popular” now, I don’t talk to anyone from high school and they have no bearing on me life. You may feel like a “loser” at the time but focus on yourself and your schooling and the sky’s the limit. Friends will come and go and you’ll meet people later in life that will be great friends to you!
Agree! I’m 46 and this is the same advice I would give my younger self.
I'm 37 and spent my teens and twenties denying and trying to hide an eating disorder, panic disorder, PTSD, and depression. I would love to go back and give that poor, scared girl a big hug and tell her that it's not weak to admit you need help, and it doesn't make you less of a person. You'll feel so much better if you're honest with yourself and others and actively seek the treatment you need to get better.
Seeing you cry when you started talking about how you want a mother figure in your life hit me in my heart! You are one of those people who truly deserve every happy thing in life, and I wish with all my heart you had something like that. It’s not too late to work on your relationship with your mum now, all my love to you Maria!!
i love watching your videos on this channel. it’s like having an older sister or mom to help me navigate life and give me some good advice🤍🤍
Awww... HUGS, sweetheart! 🤗
I would tell myself that there's no need to be intimidated by anyone. We're all here in the same boat and there's no situation where I don't have the right to be comfortable talking with anyone of any age, authority, or popularity. (this one may have given me some issues with listening to authority in the last few years but I'm ok with that 😂)
Oh god I’m always intimidated by everyone 😂 thank you for this
Yo, thank you for this. It means so much coming from someone else.
“This is not yours if you owe money for it” - wow! The simplicity of that statement is so powerful!
I’m sure God put you on this Earth for this exact reason making UA-cam videos for us . I really needed something right now and before the video even started I knew this was going to a be a treat for my soul 💜
Ah, thank you for saying that. It warms my heart to hear this. ♥🤗♥
I agree completely
Maria your segment about your mom hit so close to home! I'm almost 30 and I feel like my parents know basically nothing about me. We've kept each other at arm's length for so long that it feels too late. But you sharing your thoughts was really encouraging.
I'm also about to be a mom myself and oh my gosh this video made me realize how much I'd treasure parenting advice from you! I feel like you would have such a great take on motherhood and forming good bonds with your kids.
Becoming a parent yourself could be a real opportunity to reconnect with your own parents. It will also open your eyes to just how powerful a parent's love is and how much you matter to them. ❤
Reach out and tell them exactly what you wrote. Its never too late love
I absolutely love these real talks videos. Your insights really resonate with me, it feels like talking to a friend. Thank you Maria!
The debt and money one is a good one. Wish they would have taught more of that in school! Great video Maria!
Totally! I remember graduating high school and not having a clue how to even pay rent or write out a check (I’m dating myself here.) Had to learn it all on my own. They taught us virtually NOTHING that’s applicable in the way of real, everyday life skills.
@@rainsofhealing agreed!!!! We had CALM class (Career and Life Management) and all it was about getting a job. Nothing else. Would have been nice to know how to balance a budget, do my own taxes, manage debt etc!!
Honestly, school hasn't taught me anything besides reading. I'm not saying that people shouldn't finish their school. I do like to study and learn new things etc. I totally agree with you though!
@@rainsofhealing They actually taught us how to write checks and balance a checkbook in 8th grade, which was 10 years ago now. But nothing about actual bank accounts, loans, anything like that.
I'm 19 and failed uni entrance exams for 3rd time this year. I feel really lost and upset with myself, it's like I'm wasting my youth even if it's a dream of mine. I feel so useless. Thanks for being a comforting figure, Maria. In times like these I come here to find some peace. Love you.
❤️❤️ I hope you can't feel better by approaching this from a new perspective! I know there's something for you out there or maybe you've found it already. Take care.
It’s so interesting to me that you have talked (more than this video) about having that motherly figure, or even female friend that you can depend on. That’s because I think so many people view you as that person. Or wish they had someone like you in their life for the very same reasons. You are a wonderful human Maria! Thanks for always caring for your community!
Pretty sure Maria has even acknowledged that in a past video of hers - her not really having a mother figure and how that translates into her being like one on camera.
Omg you make me cry.
I feel exactly the same way. Just in a different situation. I really feel all alone. Constantly wishing my mom would be the kind of mother I need her to be. I’m tired of always being strong alone.
I need my mother. I am 29 and I still need my mother so much because she never have me what I needed growing up so I feel like the need never goes away, because I never got it fulfilled.
I love how you open up to us like this. I have really come to care for you. You are probably the most real and raw person on UA-cam and I appreciate you so much.
As much as you help others to find peace and sleep, you need comfort and support too. I hope you feel safe and loved. An if you have a need not being met, I hope you can get it soon. Sweet you 🌹 hugs to you.
Maria, if it makes any difference, I feel like I have felt the same way about needing a mother figure, and I actually feel like I get that through your ASMR videos. That's one of the reasons I love your channels! You are a very naturally kind, nurturing and caring person and it shows through your work. I appreciate you so much
Going back and watching this two years later, I relate to the parent section of this video so much. I spent the last decade only having surface-level convos with my mother for the very reason you mentioned-fear of what her response would be. I’m unlearning this habit I formed of trying to anticipate everyone’s responses to everything because I think that’s one of the root causes of anxiety. We want so badly to be in control, but we can never control how others will respond to us. It’s all about learning to let go.
Don't go to uni just to go to uni if you're not sure. I ended up dropping out of my education degree and now I have a $17,000+ debt which gets indexed every year. It makes me crawl into the fetal position and cry.
SO true. I went to uni, I never liked what I studied but I never had courage to change direction. I graduaded 1 year too late, and now I cant even use it, there arent any jobs within it. Now I also pay back for it every month.
@@rebeka145 yep. Youre literally throwing money into a furnace as you pay it off because you never finished and will never use it. Money for nothing. It seriously depresses me one of my biggest regrets
Wow. That’s so weird. Where I live, education is completely free as well as healthcare. Seeing these huge sums makes my jaw drop.
Or if you do, go to community college! It’s very inexpensive and if you do go into debt or drop out, it’s a lot cheaper to pay off.
This is what I would tell my younger self too! But I did complete my degree and lived at home/worked/got some scholarships so I have only a little more in debt than you, but still I would tell myself - don't just do a degree because you don't know what you want to do. Take 1+ gap year(s), work a shitty job (would've been a lot easier without full time studies on top!) and actually explore the career paths you are interested in - research, job-shadow, email people in the field and ask them to go for coffee, anything! I spent 4 years of my life being absolutely miserable and hating my degree and it's looking like I won't even be using it in my career. One of the issues in my case was that my parents told me I could only live with them if I was still in school - very dated view now, my children will be encouraged to live at home to save money and take time after high school to figure out what they want to do.
I'm really struggling...been wishing I wouldn't wake up. My housemates are horrible, I can't breathe where I live and it's my birthday tomorrow which reminds me that I have no family or anyone... since 2014. Been crying and it takes so much effort to move. I wish I had a family to see for xmas and birthdays but it's just been me...I don't belong anywhere or to anyone. I can't seem to meet nice people no matter how authentic to myself and kind I try to be to others... I just don't see my use here anymore. Thanks for keeping me company... been watching for a while, you're the only person that doesn't make me feel alone and like there's one good person out there.
this will be a milestone in your life when u get out of that horrible conditions and work towards that milestone that is sure to come ❤️ i hope your birthday is everything u want it to be , happy early birthday!!!
I've had times in my life when I had noone and felt like the whole world conspired against me. Looking back it's incredible how things can change in a way i couldve never imagined. I wish you all the strength to keep on fighting❤️
I can’t say anything to make that pain stop but.. I’m truly sorry. At least we have Maria. She is the person who has been with me through everything.
I hope things get better for you soon, stay strong. These hard times will pass I promise x
:( relatable, It’s such a sad empty feeling. I wish we were friends
I really love those kind of videos where you talk for a long time about subjects that are important to you. I could listen to you talking for hours and hours 🙂
Youth is always transitory. We have to learn to love yourselves whether we have medical procedures or not.
I would have told myself to look for love from within, not from someone else. My childhood was horrible (emotionally/mentally abusive parents) and I was so starved for love, I fell fast and hard the second anyone gave me any extra attention. I lost so much focus on myself as an individual by pouring every ounce of love I had into the other person, and I would give up so much of myself because I was just so happy that I could please someone, but I never received the type love that I craved. In that sense, I even put too much pressure on the other person to give me something they couldn’t. The love I was looking for was/is in me somewhere, I still struggle with it now in my mid-20’s, but it’s getting better. And after many years of slowly, but surely realizing this, I am now able to pour all of this love not just into my partner, but also into myself ❤️
Note: I am still very much traumatized from my experiences and it unfortunately affects my life every single day - it’s a tangled up mess that’s spread all throughout my entire being, it manifests in so many ways, and I definitely need to continue working on myself. Loving yourself when you never have before is so much easier said than done, and while loving yourself is incredibly important, it may not always be the solution to all your troubles. In my particular case, a need for self-love resulted from the lack of love from my parents. To fill that void, I had to do it myself. You can do this, too, but remember that sometimes these things are much more complicated than they appear - so don’t get discouraged if you still feel like something’s missing. That’s okay. You will find it ❤️
Wow...just wow and thank you.
With not having any parental figures at all in my life Maria’s videos make me feel like I have a safety net in life 🥺💖
Same boat dear. It's really hard. Hugs ❤
Same boat too. ❤️❤️
Oh my god girl I totally feel you on the debt thing. I thought I had a good handle and knowledge on managing money and debt but this year has definitely taught me that I didn't truly understand debt.
My mum passed away from cancer 3 1/2 years ago and honestly not opening up to her more and talking to her more is my biggest regret. I closed off cause I wanted to shelter myself but really it just cost me a lifetime of pain.
My dad passed away 3 1/2 years ago and I feel the same way. I thought bottling everything up was the right choice at the time but it wasn’t. I sympathize with you.
❤
I really appreciate videos like this as a 23 year old with no older sisters :)
Maria, it is SO insane to me you uploaded a video talking about this tonight!! Cried tonight about money and the credit card debt I’m in. It’s not a lot, but I’m starting my own business and struggling while also 8 months pregnant. Really having to decide if I keep at it or put it on the back burner again. I’m only 23, I know I have lots of time. But I hate how money-centered my life has become. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. This video has comforted me by letting me know I’m not alone in having financial worries!!! Much love.
What I would tell me you get self: my mom is doing her best.
Literally just browsing desperately looking for a video to relax as I’m struggling to sleep! Perfect timing 💕
Dear Maria, This is such a heartfelt video. As someone whose mother was too much of a narcissist to ever look beyond herself and really see her daughters for who they were (and not a reflection of herself), I long felt the biggest gift you can give a daughter (or son) is to observe her way of being in the world, and openly acknowledge those things that make her uniquely herself. Not unlike you, l looked for that kind of motherly support and acknowledgement much of my adult life, and only now, at 70, do I have it from friends and from myself. And even at this age, it has been utterly, positively life-changing in ways I could not have imagined. Being truly "seen" by someone you trust and love, is the greatest foundation anyone can have. And coming from you, that kind of recognition and support from someone whom Mila wholly loves and who loves her dearly will help her to be herself fully with comfort and confidence.
“Once you reach something it feels like you haven’t really gotten it” I love the way you worded that - it’s so hard to explain that feeling, and it often makes me feel ungrateful too. But I think you’re absolutely right in that it means we need to enjoy each moment, not just the ones that society deems “important”
This hit so close to home for me. My mom passed away unexpectedly 2 years ago. I miss her so much, and I have so many regrets about our relationship, and now it's too late. I can't go back and change things, but I'm trying to build new connections by volunteering with different organizations in my community. I make wellness check phone calls for Meals on Wheels to housebound seniors, and that connection has been so important to me, I might get more out of it than the clients do. I hope you're able to build your American/Californian 'family' and find your people.
Something I would tell my younger self right now is learn to be comfortable being by yourself and fully getting to know yourself and what you want.
Also the importance of independence.
Your admittance of always searching for a friend and that person you can lean on, speaks to me! I’m close with my mom but she and my dad don’t live nearby and while I have my husband and our daughters, I struggle to find that one woman close by that gets being a mom, understands the struggle that we face of always wanting to be enough, and just a friend you can depend on. Hang in there, Maria! You are not alone!
your skin looks so good! At least on camera I can see no signs of aging at this point :D And you're so freaking beautiful
You’re exactly right about the numbness. I feel like I lack gratitude too, about my own small success. It’s honestly nice to know it’s not just me. ♥️
You should update this video every year. Even if it’s just for you…it is refreshing to see how far you have come over the years, how much your mind has evolved and what more you have to offer yourself since the beginning of your journey. I am 28 tomorrow and I have been watching you since I was 19. December 2014 marks the day when I found your channel on the news. Your presence is very comforting, but it’s your personal journey that inspires most of us. And I think that is why so many love you. You have never stopped evolving, improving and uplifting your community and everyone around you and although I don’t know you in person I do know that I see a very beautiful woman inside and out that has worked hard for everything she has. I see you Maria and it is really great that I’ve followed you all this time.
Oh Maria I have the same issue with my mom since I immigrated to another country, 'just come back!' I can't just come back, my life is here now even though it's hard, and most importantly it just feels right to be where I am ... I hope that is my intuition leading me down the right path and that I will lead a similar life to you, going from hardships to success in an unexpected field and a beautiful family!
Things I would like to say to my younger self certainly change over the years :o) Now, in my 50s, I would say:
- time is really precious, do not waste it
- pay attention in class, even the things you think you will not need, are important later
- learn to handle money well (that one is very true, Maria :o))
- move a lot - walk, dance, swim, anything; find an exercise which you enjoy (it may change over the years)
- do not be afraid to learn new skills; every new thing you learn to use will boost your confidence
- (and this one applies to me, I am not forcing it on anyone :o)) time spent with the kids is never lost
And - dear Maria, thank you for your honesty; you are now a mum also, which I think can help you to understand your own parents as well - balancing caring and letting go to grow up can be really difficult. I am a better friend with my mum now that I have ever been! Wishing you all the best, stay safe, all of you!
I watch your ASMR videos and i completely love them, but this right here where you are completely open and vulnerable this is gold, we are able to experience another beautiful side to you so thank you for letting us in. I think this video came in at the right time of my life because although I am pretty young still 24, I made many mistakes in my teenage years but the one thing I wish i would have done differently is trust my mother and be there for her when she needed me. I now have a 4 year old daughter and know what is like to be a mother so thank you! Everything you said is exactly how I’m feeling right now about my mom her love is beyond anything i can explain, I just want to be able to be there for her like she has been for me I want to build that special bond with her and be completely transparent if there’s anyone that deserves to know the true me is her. You are strong and beautiful thank you for making this kind of videos, you are able to touch peoples lives through them. You are an inspiration 💖
Listen, your beauty and youth is preserved! You do what you feel you need to do to be happy but you are gorgeous inside and out; that hasn't changed one iota in the many, many, many years I have been watching your channels. You are here for us and we are all here for you Maria, remember that.
I would have told myself to follow my gut more. I was diagnosed with adhd as an adult but as a teenager I knew something was wrong. It caused me to struggle in education and with money. Just follow your gut more. Xx
Listening to Sassy Masha vlogs is my favourite thing to do when I do my hair for example. But today I had to pause doing it to write this comment.
I feel you on so many levels Maria, I feel like we’re soul sisters. We’ve got many things in common. I find myself in a lot what you say and I think a lot of that stems from being a female immigrant. I left my Eastern European home country at 19, and I’m currently living in the UK. I think that leaving your country, family, everything you know behind takes SUCH a big toll on you. I didn’t realised until recently, and it’s been nearly 10 years.
It so much to take emotionally, physically and financially for a young girl. It’s a huge risk. So after taking that huge risk you expect to be achieving these amazing goals and what not. And sometimes your family also puts an extra pressure on you because since you left you must have this amazing life there because otherwise your hard work wasn’t worth it. I was also portraying much better picture during Skype calls with my mum, and then I would cry myself to sleep cause I was so unhappy. Unless you’ve been through it yourself you don’t know that first few years on immigration just feel like survival. Getting a job, place to live, etc. I was so consumed by just staying on the surface that I didn’t allow myself to think about ME. I living for people that I worked for and for my family to bring nice presents and stories for Christmas when I visit. But the first few years I didn’t once think of what I want from life apart form just surviving.
Now, 9 years on I’m realising that I don’t have to achieve these amazing things for the whole process to be worth it. I’ve got an ordinary life now, probably not far from what my friends from my country have. But it’s okay. It doesn’t mean I failed and it wasn’t worth it. I’m due to graduate from Uni next year, I’ve got a job, place to live, loving fiancé and maybe this is as good as my life gets? I’m learning to being in the moment and enjoying the simple things in life, not expecting this exciting unknown or what’s around the corner all the time cause I’d miss out on what’s happening now.
Sorry for my ramble, but I feel strong connection with you Maria on this level 💜
Greeting to you Maria, you should do some workshop or seminar online, I’d definitely attend!
Ps.
And debt of course - I’m still in the process of paying off cards I took years ago but eventually I get there.
Thank you, Maria! I can't be with my family for the holidays this year bc of you-know-what and I don't get to see them very often so I've been feeling down about it. So thank you for talking about your own parents and helping people like me be better. Your motherly presence always makes me feel calmer. You are a blessing to the world, Maria :)
Enjoy the process- yes!!! The way you explained this was spot on! I completely agree with this. ❤️ And Maria, my heart was aching for you when you spoke about a friend. I wish I could give you the biggest hug. It took me a long time to find my people, my person who I can share everything with. I met my sweet friend when my son started school. She was a mom at the school. We’ve been friends ever since- for 14 years now. I will pray you find your person. We are also here for you....even if from afar! ❤️❤️❤️
Most importantly trust your parents there usually right & only want what’s best for you . I’d tell myself you deserve better & don’t settle for less . Exercise & stretch daily to keep your bones, muscles & whole body healthy. Love yourself & don’t live to please other’s . Great video thanks, you are so soft spoken it’s really comforting 💜
I would tell myself to take care of myself, think about myself, what I truly want or want to dont and what I like ... And also I would tell myself that not everybody has to like me and that I don‘t owe nothing to anyone. Beautiful and emotional Video 😍❤️
Maria i found one of your older videos while i was scrolling old subscriptions and now i'm re- watching all your videos once again! I found this one and it made me a little emotional, cause even though i'm still very young, i wish i could turn back time and say certain things to myself. Thanks for being who you are, everyone loves you! ♥️🌹
This is one of the finest people on this planet. Maria you are a good and wonderfilled soul!
Very good list! At its core, it's everything I have and will continue to tell my daughter ..son.. and myself. You are probably wiser than you think and have a beautiful soul, Maria! Both of my parents are gone, so I would add not only to trust them but to enjoy them as much as you can. I can recall hundreds of times my mom annoyed me, but I literally dream of her at times and I hug her with all my might and it feels so deep and real. It soothes me and hurts all at the same time. The funny thing is, the things that annoyed me were the things she did out of love. Like I do for my children. I get that now, at 40. Love your heart and videos! Thanks for sharing! ❤
What you said about your parents is so true Maria, it brought a tear to my eye 💗 It's hard when you're halfway across the world and feel like you have to make your parents proud, or prove yourself, or whatever keeps you from trusting them. Most parents have so much love to give, and I'm so thankful for them.
I'm also super thankful for your videos! I started watching you about 5 years ago and I feel like you've kind of been there throughout my transition from a teenager to a young woman 💞🥰 thank you for all that you do, Maria!
We love you Maria!
As a therapist I can totally assure you, you are not alone.
Not being afraid to check in with yourself on the journey of life is one of the greatest gifts of self care you can do.
Good job!
Maria, I swear you give the best advice! I'm 22, and I plan to apply everything you just told me into my own life. Some advice in return about the chemical peels and micro needling: I've been seeing my esthetician for facials once a month for almost 2 years now, and she either does microdermabrasion OR a chemical peel on me depending on whatever the hell my skin is doing. It's SO worth it! Microdermabrasion reveals such beautiful skin underneath all the dead skin at the surface. The chemical peels I do are not strong at all (typically glycolic acid or salicylic acid peels). They are not medical grade peels - just a light tingling sensation for a few minutes, and then she deactivates it and removes it. If you are looking for a good resurfacing cream, I suggest the Glo Skin Glycolic Resurfacing Cream. I use it at night, and during the day I use a moisturizer with SPF 30 in it. Much love as always!
When you were talking about 'enjoying the process' i could totally relate, and i never understood why whenever i achieve something or succeed, i don't get happy..it's exactly like you said !! So i'll try to apply your advice P.S. When you talked about your parents it made me tear up ! Thank you so much for opening up and sharing valuable advice i'll try to have a deeper closer relationship with my parents and cherish them ❤ you're a wonderful beauutiful soul Maria ❤
Hey Maria I love this video more than words can say. This is just what I needed to hear 🥰🥰! I just have to say that I love and enjoy every moment of your videos. I love how you’re so down to earth and just talk to us like a friend over coffee. I’m 14 and my relationship with my mum is almost non existent and sometimes i try to get closer to her, but she pushes me away. I’d just like to say that I see you as a mother figure. I have learned more from you in this 20 min video than I have learned from my mum in my life! You’re so full of wisdom and knowledge and you’re so funny and genuine ! Please make more of these chats because I just need this mother figure, this mentor in my life and I’m sure many of your subscribers do too. Also I want to let you know that we are your UA-cam family and we will always be here for you whenever you need us, or even when you don’t 😘😘
Love you so much and take care of yourself and Mila and all the fam
Xx Sofia
The portion where you talked about wanting a better relationship with your mom really resonated with me. I often feel the same way, especially coming from an abusive household. I want so badly for my mom to care about me and to know me and to be proud of me, but I don't feel like I can trust her.
I find a lot of comfort in your videos. A lot of comfort that I never really felt during childhood and I'm sure you make your daughter feel the same way. Comfortable and safe. Just making an effort is often times enough.
What an enlightened person at such a young age. Always love it when you share your truth.
You're not ungrateful🥺 we just really get used to success quickly! I can only relate on a smaller scale but i bet it's similar on any scale.
You’re such a beautiful light Maria, you are such a good friend to so many people. What goes around, comes around. Don’t forget that!
I relate to You so much on a deep level.
Moving states away from my family has absolutely killed me but I’m here only for a while until I get things together.
Maria, the very fact that you are self aware and introspective just shows that you are on the right path. Be patient with yourself and time will bring you what you diserve ♥
Maria, I say this with ALL the love in the world. PLEASE don't be so vein about your looks/ youth. I like you so much as a person for the beautiful and caring personality and aura that you have towards people. Your constant worrying about your youth puts me off. There are so many more important and wonderful things in life to focus on. Just keep up with your skin as best you can and age gracefully. Your mom is absolutely beautiful and I don't think she has done anything to herself. You look like your mom. You'll be more than fine in years to come. Looks will always fade. You'll have wasted your youth if you spend it worrying about it. Work on your soul and your light. ❤
Thank you so much Maria for sharing these words of wisdom. I resonate with all of the things you shared. You’re such a beautiful soul, and your daughter is so blessed to have you in her life.
Oh, Maria, when you teared up about your mom - - 😢I totally feel what you're feeling, missing a mother figure, or wanting a stronger bond with your mom. I always had trouble connecting with my own mother, and with my dad gone since the age of 11, I felt like I'm all on my own.
But ever since I found your videos, I feel like I have a strong female presence to look up to - even though we don't know each other personally. Thank you so much for sharing - and of course for the amazing content and community you've created here on UA-cam. You're one of my idols. Have a blessed holiday season.
I think i took a lot of things for granted in the past, and although i really wish I hadn't, the truth is I was so lost. I had no idea of who i truly was or what to do with myself. I think part of it just as a symptom of youth too. There are things I know now about life that there's no way I would back then, on multiple levels. I had to make some tough decisions as I got older, some of them having no right ir wrong answer, both options having downsides. I still feel the effects of that today. But i'm working on healing a lot of pain that I carry still.
So i guess my advice would be to explore as much as you can while young. Try not to be too destructively reckless, but know you can also bounce back from a lot. Find and keep in touch with who you are as a person. If you know what you want to do for career then that's great. If not, don't stress about it. Schools put a lot of emphasis on it but you are more important than the ways in which you think you want to make money. Value resilience and flexibility, and keeping calm when life throws you some curveballs. They're things you can practice by observing your own relationship with the need for things to be in control.
And also don't stress if there are some things you just don't know or can't figure out. You never stop learning, growing, changing, evolving. You got this!
I’m in my early 20s and so much of what you said resonated with me and made me think about things differently. Sending you lots of love 💗🌸 Even though we don’t know each other, i think of you as a cherished wise friend/ confidant & I appreciate this kind of video more than you’d think 🥰 Thank you for everything!
Also I have had some experience with lasers, chemical peels and microneedling & I think that, when it comes to maintaining healthy youthful skin, microneedling is probably your best bet.
Chemical peels can make a big difference in how fresh your face looks in the short term (like when you suntan and the tanned burnt skin peels off and the new skin underneath is bright and baby smooth, you know?). Still, since you have such an even skin tone n all, i don’t think it would benefit you all that much, and you might get back to square one within a couple of weeks.
Laser results can vary a lot I suppose, but I do prefer lasers to chemical peels.
If you’re scared of microneedling you can always start with smaller needles. Just some anecdotal opinions that might help you make up your mind. Xx much love 💕
I feel like you're the older sister I never had! You help me a lot when you talk about those sensitive things. It's so genuine and raw, thank you Maria, I'm sure you help many of us! You're just the sweetest, and the way you speak makes me feel like everything it's going to be okay 🤍
I so feel what you said about seeking friendship (I think once you mentioned specifically wanting Mom friends!) I have been wanting and seeking out opportunities to make Mom friends since my first son was born and I am finally, finally, FINALLY getting somewhere-and he just turned 5! Motherhood is a lonely road-I hope your Mom friends will come to you soon, and you to them. They will be lucky to have you ❤️
the mother figure thing is so relatable. I think it just comes from not wanting to hurt our mums with news that things are maybe not going so well, and not wanting to make them worry - sadly, I'm really in the same state, and I'm the same age as you Masha, so your good advice is maybe coming too late for me also. I do 100% sympathise with this feeling xx
My goodness, the "Enjoy th process" bit is so relevant to me right now in several different aspects of my life. Thanks for the reminder!
I completely understand and can relate to your mom/ family portion of this video! I think we/I cannot be anything but strong in front of my dad. My mother was never there for me and so I developed a strong will to be independent and competent on my own. Many years later and I find the same thing, I am looking for friends who I can be open and let my guard down without judging me or anything. It’s hard, especially in today’s society where there is this competition and so you cannot seem to not have it all together! It’s a struggle and sometimes I wish I could just open up and be brave. I’m sure it’s so much harder for someone in the public eye too, everyone puts you up on a pedestal and you don’t want to let anyone down! Hugs and wishing you peace... keep trying and be brave!💗😘🥰🙏🏻
Love you Maria. Don’t ever change! You give people the courage to be themselves and express their real selves.
Maria! This made me so emotional, you’ve done a phenomenal job with everything over the years - I’ve been a viewer since 2011.
From all of us that have been fans since you first started and have gotten to watch you build your channel and career, move across the country and start your family, we could not be happier or more proud 👏👏
Your ASMR videos helped me sleep to get through law school and the bar exam, now I’m 6 years in practicing law, married with a family and I feel like you were part of that journey. You help so many people, I hope you know that!
It pulled at my heartstrings to watch you say these things. The part about your mom really got to me. My mom passed a year ago and we were really close - she lived with me part of the year, and we spent a ton of time together, but there were some things we couldn’t talk about. She had skewed perceptions of men and relationships. I helped her to open her mind. I took her on a big trip in May and she passed away at the end of September. My advice is: do those big plans. Do them now. Borrow, inconvenience, do whatever you need to do to live out your dreams regarding your parents because life is short and life is cruel and once it changes like this, it does not change back - it’s over. Love your parents really hard. I feel that same longing to have a mother figure who’s there for me - I feel I’m the mother figure for my friends but I can’t go to anyone. I really hope you find someone. You’re special and you deserve a fantastic BFF and/or mother figure. ❤️
You have such a beautiful heart. It's not too late to reconnect with your mom. No one else can take her place. Thank you for this great advice!
Hi Maria, I had to comment it was such a strange coincidence. I was listening in the bath after playing netball, while you were talking about money I was thinking team sports are perfect for this--it costs so little but it gets you out socialising and it's healthy and wholesome...imagine my surprise when team sports were number two! I wanted to add they're so good for mental health, just forgetting about life and focusing completely on a ball for a while, also accepting that you catch some, you miss some, no need to feel bad or anxious about these tiny successes and failures, you are training your brain synapses so I agree its a great thing to have in your life. Also sunscreen! I make sure it's in my moisturizer and foundation so it isn't an extra thing to remember.
Happy belated birthday to Mila, I had my third little boy around the same time, it's been cute watching the odd video of her progress x
I'm always in the circle of looking for a friend or mom figure too. I have been successful a few times, but have pushed them away due to my own problems. I wish I could give you a hug and help you fill that void in your heart a little bit.
I agree that we lose ourselves in the idea of the end result of our projects, creations, goals.. we miss out on the journey & process. Thank you for sharing your experiences and wisdom 🙏🏼💗
Watching these videos is like therapy to me. Your soft, maternal voice and your sensitivity give me such peace. And the soft background music makes such a difference... I wish there were more ASMR videos with soft music in the background. As for the advice you shared, it's such a gift. Thank you for reminding me to enjoy the process more. And if you are always looking for a friend...can I send in an application?
I would hug her and tell her she is worthy. No amount of external people/places/things will make you worthy. I spent a lot of my first three decades trying to gain acceptance and love from the wrong people.
And I'm working on my vulnerability, but that's a big one for me too.
Maria you are such a genuine and real person and so refreshing to listen to. When you said you were just looking for that friend and woman guidance I just wanted to reach through the screen and hug you! Lol you would be such a wonderful friend to have! You seem like such a wonderful human being, a amazing mother and wife! You always take care of us with your videos your hard work and effort really shines through! Take some time for yourself, stop and smell the roses, you deserve it! I hope everyone is staying happy and healthy! One day at a time. We all can get through this hard year!
Hmmm... after having a very rough childhood myself, I would say everything is going to be just fine no matter how hard it seems it will always get better. I think that I turned out to be a pretty good human being and wouldn’t take any of it back. I love my life and who I have become. I’m the type of person that wants to rescue people and when I see you like this I want to give you a big hug and tell you everything will be just fine!
maria, i watch these videos as if i'm listening to the big sister i never had! i'm loving the positivity in your comments section and i echo everyone's feelings. you are a bright spot in this life! sending love from the east coast.
The topic of opening up to your parents and being a parent resonated with me so much! I am a new-ish mom to a 15mo and I feel like having a child really makes me think about my relationship with my own parents and it breaks my heart!
the amount of self reflection you’ve done and self awareness you have. you’re amazing.
Who knew 1 year after this video was made I would stumble upon it and need to hear 11:18 🥺 thank you for sharing your experiences... I definitely can relate
When I was twenty-five, I moved to Colorado from the east coast. Here are some things that brought me into contact with people and allowed me to make friends:
I play guitar (badly!) and I like to sing, so I went to “open mic” nights and jam sessions in town. (Check the weekend edition of your local paper for information; you’ll be surprised what you’ll find about goings-on in your area.)
I worked at an office that employed about forty people.
I signed up for classes.
I got to know my neighbors.
I advertised for roommates (and checked references!).
I learned to swing dance.
I went to church.
I volunteered.
I stayed in touch with my old pals on the east coast.
Eventually I found kind, smart, fun, creative people to hang out with. I met others through them. I, too, wish I’d listened more to Mom. I miss her. But I am blessed with loving friends, and we nurture and support one another. Best of all, we make each other laugh.
Hi Maria! First of all I love all of your videos including the ones from this channel. They have helped me tremendously in different ways over the years, so thank you and keep em coming! My comment is relating to your topic of "trusting your parents more", where you yourself are searching for a "mother figure" or someone that you can really connect with. I had that with my daughter. Tragically she was murdered three years ago on Thanksgiving day. Since losing her I have lost that connection with another person and I continue to search for that same connection or something close. I've yet to find it. My daughter was my best friend and soul mate. She often times said that she felt as if maybe she was my mother in a different life, probably true. I lost my own mother 19 years ago. Anyway, just wanted to share as I really identify with your struggle. Love you Maria! And stay strong and beautiful!
Once again Masha you have inspired and helped a crazy old irishman look at life and the past with new eyes. Thank you!
Maria, I have struggled with my skin for over 10 years. I've had multiple laser treatments (Fraxel, CO2, IPL), microneedling both with and without PRP, and chemical peels. I would advise you against a laser treatment. I also am fair complected, and found that I have some permanent redness that never completely goes away. I also flush very easily now compared to before my laser treatments. Chemical peels are fine, provided they are low strength and done by a provider in office. You should try microneedling. It is amazing for resurfacing/texture issues. It also helps with fine lines and minimizing larger pores. If you add PRP, you will see even better results after just one treatment as opposed to a series of, for example, 3 treatments.
I miss these sit down talks so much. You are such an inspiration to many people❤ however I do believe you should give yourself some grace you are such a beautiful person,mother and wife ❤
Maria, I'm quite a bit older than you are and also an expat, so I think I understand a little what you mean about looking for a mother figure in your life. For me this was especially hard when my kids were small and my parents weren't to hand, and there were a lot of hard times. When you're not even in the same country, it's tough and I feel you. I think that when we become a mother we also are still ourselves a child, and we really feel that need for wisdom and guidance and nurture. It's good that you talk about this and I'm sending lots of
Not everyone has a supportive loving family who educates them. So sometimes it's best when you teach yourself, and help yourself become the person you want to be ♥️ also just because it's your family doesn't mean you should stick by them if they upset you, disrespect you, intimidate you etc.
I would tell myself to focus on enjoying the present, appreciating the moment I am in. We all have a tendency to overthink the past and worry about the future to the extent that we forget to enjoy what's right in front of us. I would tell myself to stop thinking that the grass is always greener, and worrying about what could have/should have/might have happened, and cherish what is happening right now.
thank you SO much for this, you’re a very strong person to opened like this to social media, we love you and are so proud of you !!! you definitely helped me with this information and i’m sure you helped so much people more.
This is so important you may have really alleviated some serious fear and pain from a lot of amazing women's futures so underrated and so glad you thought to share
I’ll be turning 18 in January, and I really appreciate this advice. Even though I’m still a teenager, there are so many things I wish I could taught and told to my younger preteen self. Maria, if you did more videos like this, that would be really amazing and I would for sure watch them ❤️❤️.