Every so often i come back to these videos to help maintain my walls. Ive stopped talking about my experiences, become indifferent, and have a whole new experience and perspectives in things in life. I think im healing
Good evening Richard. ... ".. a consistent lack of empathy for people around them .. " 🤝 I know someone like this and love learning from you. You speak very well, and explain things in a manner easily understood. Thank you.
Do not personalize your exhaustion. Honor yourself as To have brief recess , lunch break tea break, breathing exercises break, and then we come back to this community of opportunity perseverance of self reality /discovery. Community. Communication is key. Thank you for fostering this conversation. 😎🌻💯
Richard, one of my favorite things is when a person has a dry sense of humor that makes me burst out laughing. Thank you. Your humor is layered and so, I get to feel it and then feel it on another level. It's healing to me. My therapist asked me once, Carly do you think love has to be earned? I thought he was being silly. Of course it does! How else are you going to be loved? He said, that's wrong. Took a while for me to figure that out. I'm an infj and it doesn't change from year to year or test to test. I'm an introvert who is mistaken for an extrovert all the time. But, being in a crowd is exhausting. I need time to go and be all alone in silence and stillness to think and to calm myself. Last week, I decided to take a little bite of a marijuana gummy. It's legal here. I had never done that before. I will never do it again. Do you know what it does? It doesn't allow me to ruminate. I think a thought and three seconds later it shifts my brain. I start another train of thought and it shifts me away and I forget what I was thinking. I have to be able to use my mind. Unfortunately, it's where I live right now. It takes humility for a therapist to say a lot of the things that you say. It probably brings a lot of grief your way. But, I will never stand on a soapbox and bash a narcissist because, I wouldn't want to be one. It's like when you see a snake. It's better to just quietly walk away. You kind of blew my mind. Before I went to therapy, I used to say, I'm tired of looking at myself through other people's eyes. I want to live my life looking out through my eyes. I learned how to do that. Do I ever give myself credit for anything? Um, not yet. If you study INFJs you'll find out that we don't have a lot of friends and we don't want a lot of friends. I just want one thing. One person who allows me to get to know them and who has the patience to get to know who I am. That's the sweetest fruit I've ever tasted. Unfortunately, mine died on our kitchen floor. No, I'm not over it. But, I learned not to be so hard on myself now. I learned how to ask myself questions and listen to the truth of my own answers. I'm so glad it turned out you're not the narcissist I thought you were. 🙂 I am extremely intuitive and empathetic. I'm learning how to shut it off at will now. I can't live with it turned on all the time anymore. I wish I could see one of your lectures in person. I just happened to live a handful of miles away from where slim shady grew up. By a little lake called St. Clair. I caught this live by accident and I hope I catch the next one live as well. I've always wanted to see Spain. I like donkeys. They have a great sense of humor. I love their stubbornness and being Sicilian, well, it must be in my genes. Thank you for opening yourself up so that people like me could have a look inside. I spend time in introspection every day. I asked my dad yesterday on the phone if he did and he didn't even understand what I was saying. God bless you. You're special. No. I don't mean autistically special. And, you're very easy to look at. Good night, our Shakespearean therapist.
@@helenachase5627wow how insensitive, and yes I did read it all as why not, through others experiences and things they’ve used along the way to help, helps others or maybe you should of just swiped by no need to make any remarks, at all maybe ? Have a blessed day 😊
@@julie4740 some people are just really insistent on spreading their hatred and venom. Not everyone wants to take ownership of their life or experience! I love the comment sections in UA-cam… Find some of the best people here. Writers, therapist, people healing from every kind of thing you can imagine in the best way possible, since it’s almost impossible to find decent professional help in this day and age. all the red tape, plus general human laziness people don’t want to keep learning things after they get their degree and psychology or medicine, or whatever else, so they don’t keep up with what’s going on. Anti-science, anti-curiosity, anti-humility! The opposite of Richard and Company. Sending love to you and The long comment poster above!
Richard is super handsome for sure! I am a dude and attracted to females, but even I was frustrated with a lot of his posts and especially Instagram videos in the last year with these giant blocks of text right on top of his face the whole time!😂😂😂❤❤ OK there might be a bit of a Bromance going on. But it’s not sexual!
I happen to be an introverted INFJ lyricist (singer, song-writer), who gets overwhelmed by people, noise, etc, and I have a second artist name, and not many followers…..but I love it! 🤣
Lack of empathy check, entitlement and entitlement to hurt CHECK, grandiose view of themselves sure but no lying about THAT as far as I know. Advertising certainly. Reaction to slight, wound of false self (calling out right and wrong) was totally hysterically perpetually malicious while playing victim * Good. My conscience is clear. Been feeling guilty 😂 Lol always a challenge to know what’s real.
Confidance is completely different from self assurance & being self reliant (Soverginity & Education/Awareness/Ability) ... some of the narcs in my recent past always liked to say- condescendingly, that i was "soooo confidant"... & "sure of myself"... LOL!!🤦♀️ I get why now! Thank you. You really hit this one out of the park again. Gland slams from you 247. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. To understand is to open the doors to our own freedom. In regards to the recent "explosion": with the "new" collective awareness- more ppl understanding & can ID/avoid Narcissism, comes the other side= the Narcissists among us are now in a more exposed state of being & hence are RETALIATING & trying to "cover up" their truth more= why more ppl are saying they have ADHD, etc... when really the root/core issue is their Narcissism. Yes they may have ADHA too... but now, they gotta distract ppl MORE from the main issue- that now the majority can see in them. Since Narcissists need to be seen as something other than who & what they are, the next best thing for them to do today in this climate is to use another psych. medical condition as a crutch or excuse... to distract from the truth. Hence, the recent explosion. It goes both ways. The more the collective awareness is able to ID & disengage from Narcissists the more the Narcissists "react". That's what I'm seeing at least... and I do see what you are saying too in my own life. Every time I go out I hear at least one person say "Narcissist". So the more the collective becomes aware of the truth the more the narcs try to hide &/or retaliate. The result of the massive shift in collective consciousness... they are way more exposed today. And yup, that's the tell: them bashing you or anyone else who comes in with truth & reality to help. That's the retaliation! It's crystal clear what's going on to me now. So thank you. The only ones who are still confused are the Narcissists themselves. Typical. LoL
Going through a divorce and everything my husband says is actually making me giddy to the point when he cuts his phone off in mid conversation, I start laughing and wonder did anyone see me laughing like I’m in a nut house. He actually said something to one of the clerks at the court house and she asked if maybe I need therapy? Lol it’s the triangulation maneuver. The only one’s attention and respect is the magistrate who actually helps in division. Thanks for a reminder of how they operate. Need to stay reminded before court because he is going to put on a show.
I hate it that I've been following your work, enjoying your wisdom, humor, insight, that gentle, calm brand of pragmatism about some of the hardest things in life, so long that I feel like I've said everything. You always say "I hope that was useful," and I always think...Useful?! You change people and you almost do it with ease. It is such a gift. Sorry for being redundant but it brightens my day. And this was on my birthday, so it was extra...😊. I love that painting too. Have a great weekend, Richard
I can honestly say I have only known 1 narcissist for sure in my entire life. and that was a girlfriend I had on and off for 5 years, ending in 2021. it was the most drama filled emotional train wreck and this why we split up probably a dozen times and she moved in and out of my house 5 times. funny thing is that every time she would move out, I would be left with no furniture, not even a bed and one time not even a tv as her stuff was mostly newer and nicer so we had agreed to use hers. but each time she would move out she would list one of the reasons being that I was too controlling about the decor of the house! anyways, I now live in Mexico and am starting to become suspicious about my girlfriend's mother. she spends most of her time in the US and when she is not in Mexico I rented her house as my place to stay. this most recent time after she returned to Mexico and I moved out of her house I was given a list of complaints... a couple of which were - that I threw out a cheap paper calendar that was on the side of her fridge (as it changed years and the calendar was finished) AND that I drank her tea that she got from India (probably about 12-15 tea bags in 3 months!). it's just so petty and childish. no adult in their right mind would bring these things up as issues.
Whoa! Richard, you have described exactly what I experienced while in public and approaching a person I had previously confronted. I had worked hard to do it gently but directly, I thought…. While I was experiencing the other interiorly exploding, I don’t think anyone else in the assembly sensed what I did in those moments of dark intense energy! Thanks for explaining that in such detail and with fireworks! So THAT’S WHAT THAT WAS! WOW!! Narcissistic injury! For me a God-gotcha-covered reality! I was able to keep eye contact for the whole detonation as I walked imperturbably past the smoking scene!! Whoa! Phenomenal! THANK YOU for your profound clarity! I am able to breathe all the way down with that interior hollow-tube-delightful perception! Voila!
Good evening Richard. I have not realised that my partner is a narcissist and after being so confused with his behaviour I started watching your videos doubting that I might be living with one and yes I completely agree with you. I'm living with one 😮. I am planning to leave him forever but I have to gather courage to do.
It's not that easy due to the trauma bonding! But if you understand the personality disorder you can do what you need to do !! Believe in your inner strength and that you deserve the best in life. You do not need to be disrespected nor made to feel bad about yourself! I wish you the best.
Whatever you do, do NOT tell him you’re leaving/divorcing him until you’re gone or have served him!! I made that mistake and it has made everything 100 times worse. Do your homework, keep the peace as best you can and make an exit plan! And the other thing to keep in mind is make sure you stay safe. Figure out where your closest women’s shelter is just in case. Be strong and good luck. 🙏🏼
I am very careful and I will not tell him. I have been physically tortured by him many times. He doesn't have any attachment towards our children. I am trying my best to accept the reality. The other day i caught him red handed with another woman in her house. But he still denies and says I was discussing my business. Wonder what he discussed in closed doors. He keeps telling that I need my space. I am spending my money for my enjoyment and you do not have any rights to interfere. Richard can you help me to handle this statement coz I can't reply.
Oh Richard, you've officially made it to my lunch list. Here are the reasons one you look exactly like my ex-narcissist with an English accent. Thank God you don't sound like him. But almost identical twins. Kind of crazy. Too, I too am an inftbf blah blah blah. Tested in the less than 4%. Now you're sitting here singing my favorite Pink Floyd song 😂😂😂. Thank you for all you do Richard cuz you really really are the Carl Young of the modern era. You've got to grasp on this that no one else except maybe Dr. Ramini has. (Spelling). Please keep doing what you're doing. I swear you keep me sane.
"Some people are bad" is a trap that leads to viewing the world through a fear-based victim/perpetrator mindset. "Some people are bad for me." We can't ignore that good/bad outcomes exist. But bad/good(one thing) is not something we can optimize for without becoming fearful, constraining, and reactive. "Love is [the force that] enables choice. Love is always stronger than fear. Always choose on the basis of love."
I think sometimes people project things on people who are more shy/silent than avarage and on people who are more social/confident than avarage. I have experienced people projecting on me when i was shy/quet. And this happenned to my fiance resently; we were on a vacation. We went to random tourist bar. My fiance was happy and he had drank couple drinks and was talking to random other tourists (who where strangers to us) at the bar. Then random middle aged woman came to the bar who we didn't know. My fiance started to chat with her. But then the woman said she is a theraphist and that she doesnt belive a word my fiance is saying, she thinks he has manic depressive disorder and adhd and does my fiance have a mood medication. We where like "?????". He was just happily and casually chatted to her and that made her to cover him in pile of random diagnoses. My fiance laughed off as a joke what woman said and we went a way. Later day we saw the same woman and she was super embaressed and came to apoligize to him. But she was super weird. And its kinda scary to think that she is a theraphist. Like does she project like that on her patients who are just happy and social?
Cheers for lighting up the good mental map we construct as we learn more about behavior so we can move forward and continue growing. Great. Many thanks Richard. Sure wish you receive the support and value you need.
Excellent for pointing out how we need to stop using clinical language for general bad behavior (specially sum of us not being professional/qualified). Simply not getting anything out of using energy to classify others' problems. If is unhealthy and they are not at least mirroring some of what the good deeds we do, is fact they are not nice and not good for joining in much things. Simple. Very good point.
@belindamcfaddin It's no mistake that I've been following you. Having the label of narcissist fixed in my head and heart for a man I truly and deeply love was so wrong, but I kept watching and you finally opened my eyes to the truth of his being and the confidence in himself. No doubt he has a few traits of narcissism, but certainly not NPD. Thank you for all of your videos that have helped me so much, in seeing him as the complete and beautiful man that he is. Sending my cheers and blessings to you, and I'll keep watching for your words of wisdom in the future.
On another note Thankyou Richard describing prolonged grief in London but the other day describing post traumatic embitterment syndrome is adjacent to it genius a total aha moment to what I am going through 🙏🙏🙏
I believe that the success of the narcissist/psychopath depends at least partly on the level (in one person) or ammount(in several people) of supply they are able to harness and keep under control.
When you go looking to buy a certain brand & model car and you are in the consideration phase of making a decision, it is only then, that you start seeing instances of other ppl on the highway driving that same model car.
*Hello Richard* (if you can respond please do),* I've reached a point of realising I walk out of the house daily into a fantasy world the moment I put on a mask. But the worst thing is I've started to function additively as a narcissist and it's highly* addictive of which I've started dealing with it I just need help not to fall deeper cause I didn't even realise I'd given up on fighting my trauma and I have just escaped to a grandiose self fantasy for 5 months, and more concretely for one month. Until a number of people at my university noticed my bad breath and the fact I wasn't caring at all about what people thought..(I genuinely had been ignoring it for so long).
Thanks Richard, as always very interesting. I hear you about the 'explosion' of people being diagnosed with or realising they are ADHD / autistic. I'm wondering if this is due to a large number of people like myself born in the 60's who didn't have any diagnosis because there was no definition or understanding then. ( another aspect is the evidence that's coming to light around vaccine injury & of course the vaccine programme for children has massively increased in the past 60 years). It was my son that started posting out my autistic side because at school h'e been educated around children with ASD, they all have & they recognise the behaviour. This could also be part of the increasing awareness. I actually got told by a good friend who''s a supervisor for CAMs that I actually present as ADHD/ASD which is a tricky picture to diagnose... & of course I have CPTSD from my upbringing so it's difficult as you know, there's a lot of crossover of behaviour with these ( great Venn diagram comes to mind that shows the similarities & the individual behaviour unique to each condition!). Thanks again for a thought provoking vid. :-D
2:45 "They really don't seem to care what other people think." Maybe I'm misunderstanding you but I wasn't aware empathy is about one caring about what others think.
I did the psychometric test in university INFJ I have done it since a few times with same result moths to a flame where narcissistic personality disordered people are drawn to because of our traits.
B I U T I F U L fireworks... 😂🎉😂.... might be from the movement of your hands and the Thumbs-up icon.... But don't stop, keep it going... It's Real Expressive Communication... 🎉🎉🎉 Cheers!
Recently, was a visitor in a local Church and interacted as a newcomer with a Clergyman who seemed very confident on the palpit and it seemed to me he was a person who used his role as a speaker to express his displeasures to the congregation. It was how he went off topic of the sermon topic that was unsettling. Thank you for covering the topic as I wondered what was behind his very confident behaviour. I guess I made a judgement call which is my choice but I did not like the style of this Pastor. I agree it does take time to get to know what makes people tick. Might just of heard a tacky communicator with low empathy who had a weird sense of humour being himself. I don’t know.
Absolutely throwing around a common term that .. "everyone I don't like is a narcissist "..diminishes the real survivo'rs experiences and paints a banality over the term .. you described absolutely my father when you were sharing about the narc. rage..that it's waaaay out of proportion to what is happening at the moment. I don't think people get how absolutely frightening that experience is ....even therapists I've shared that with,... the experience of being screamed at two inches in front of your face..for hours ,... for sharing a positive acknowledgement you received,.....and the therapist just yawns like....'No big deal..its just yelling its not hitting you " that attitude is just beyond shocking .I'm shocked at how many therapists I've met that lack not even the inability to let me know my award was a threat to his "false self " and maintaining total "power and control" over my life,.. and his "superior status",.. which I get now, what the reaction was about.. but I've seen too many counselors that didn't think that was a big deal,......that didn't show any knowledge of what was behind that behavior,.....and, who couldn't even share common empathy...Am I the only one that's been exposed to too many lousy therapists to count ??
My first therapist was amazing, and I had to leave my second therapist. Luckily for me, I watch a lot of Sam Vaknin's videos, so I'm not surprised by people's lack of emotional empathy. I just leave. You might enjoy Doctor Ramani's videos.
Yup. Entrained Generation incoming. Watch out for the girl in the Red Dress. Ooh...minute 28...great segment on false self Richard...particularly in Music and Art. ❤
If there’s more broccoli 🥦 in the garden then it’s due to the seeds we’re planting. Our thoughts are seeds. Humans have been more focused on narcissism in recent years from the availability and accessibility of information, so it’s seen and observed more. It’s been shown that our thoughts can create reality (thoughts as waves in our brain are converted into particle form in the external world). The Nobel Prize in physics was awarded in 2022 on how particles are formed and influenced by observation, or quantum entanglement. Energy flows where attention goes.
Please don't give your own ridiculous interpretation of science. The Nobel Prize was awarded for proof of quantum entanglement, which states that the properties of entangled particles are always perfectly correlated, no matter how far apart they stray. This has nothing to do with the 'double slit' experiment, which showed that a measuring device (not a human!) interfered with how particles behave. Please stick to facts.
I thought you would probably type as an INFJ. I also have typed as an INFJ on multiple occasions over time. Unfortunately, though, because of the rarity of this type and because they've almost been given a mythical persona, everyone and their dog is suddenly claiming to be one. When I typed as this, it made so much sense as I have always felt like I would communicate and understand things in a logical way and I could find no one else with the same mindset.....it has always been a very lonely existence in that regard. Suddenly there has been an explosion in people typing as INFJ, but I have never believed that there are as many as people are now claiming. If there are so many, why does nobody seem to 'get' me? Everybody wants to be unique nowadays and, because of that nobody is!! A similar thing is happening with narcissism. The definition is becoming so lost that it has gone full circle and now it seems that narcissistic traits are being applied to those who once were considered survivors of narcissistic abuse. The more obsessed we become with over analysing in these ways, the more we lose the purpose for what these terms were originally meant. Now everyone is either an absolute angel or an absolute devil. That's not how life works. Categorising people reduces everyone to robots and then we fail to see the person behind the label.
I’ve tested as INFJ | ENFP as well. Depends on the day, the year, the scenes that pop in my mind while taking the test. I only struggle communicating with the people in my life who have narcissistic tendencies. I’ve wondered why and after reading and studying and learning - I get it. Thanks for talking about its rarity. I have a hard time believing the rareness part because most tests are telling me this and I start thinking it’s just a ploy or something to get me to buy. 😂
I would say I go into ENFP mode when amongst friends. Apparently there is a 'jumper' personality style where you can jump from one type to another. All I know is that I'm an oddball and I explain myself until I'm blue in the face about certain things and I get ascribed motives that are completely polls apart from my actual motives. I tend to do things and say things out of care for others, but often get people being really suspicious of me and all I'm thinking is 'I'm just trying to be kind/I'm just treating people the way I want to be treated' but I get misjudged and misunderstood so often that I just want to withdraw from everyone. I don't want to be that person at all, but I find so painful to be misunderstood all the time that I just want to give up.
I have experienced the same frustrations as you when it comes to communication and people misunderstanding me, and for the same reasons. But after observation, I realized the only ones who ascribe motives to me that I don’t have and argue with me about it are the ones that have significant mental health issues such as bipolar schizoaffective, severe anxiety and personality disorder or something that hasn’t been diagnosed because they won’t get an evaluation. It’s tough. I am sorry you experience this, too, but it seems with many more people. It sounds lonely and difficult. I hope your people can become more empathic.
Greetings Richard Best wishes you are well! I believe I somewhat understand your philosophy of "Cult of one". Nevertheless, will it possible to go into the creed of religious/ocult narcissism.
Can it manifest later in life, with a position of power given with no merit? Surrounded with bad players who he started to adopt their behaviors? His favorite line “everbody likes me but you” inciting that I was the one with the problem because I put up boundaries.
What do I call it when anything bad that penetrates this shell doesn't exist? Like my mom drops a remote and goes into a hysterical rage about "this household" "This house"? Like, no you dropped the remote handicap. That's not spirits doing it. What's that called? I'm trying to stay clear of mental disorders etc. But everytime I (not realy) confront her about things like that it's always delusion. Somehow it's always someone elses fault that the stress of having being taken care of is somehow an inconvience to their existance. Yeah I'm not a multimilionaire because I've coded a website once mom. I'm instantly the failure and everything gets put on me for some reason. What's that called? Because I want to look further into looking what to do appart from just dumping her in an elderly home and pray she doesn't sell the house and waste it all on useless shit.
Did you play John Procter ? ! Halarious , I was in that play, the crucible, as a teen. I did not want the lead part ( is it Abigail ? ) that my drama teacher suggested , I was happy to be a crazy witch in the background, have I changed much ? , ha ha ha ! Love Daniel Day Lewis, what an actor ! I did the Myers Briggs test whilst doing my degree. Love to Ibiza , my favourite place in the world ! ! Keep well everyone.
I've tried to work out the difference between adhd autism schizophrenia ocd ptsd because I could have all but schizophrenia, but my brothers schizophrenic, . Dopamine seems to be the key to all.. low dopamine, bodies having difficulty processing dopamine.. and because of that signals in the brain are effected... it all seems to tie together, I now feel its intergrational trauma
So if there’s such an increase in narcissism, in our society, and the premise is that the original maternal figure and relationship with a child was dysfunctional, i.e., the dead mother as a cause of narcissism, does that mean that our society is now experiencing a preponderance of dead mothers? Or are narcissists developing later in life? With no direct root from their original mother-child relationship? Are people changing? Or are mothers changing? Or both? The speed with which we are evidencing growing narcissism points at the adults morphing, not the mothers. No? Richard, please comment.
Indifference with a belief that your pain is an inconvenience. Talking about himself in the third person; he’s “The Hatter”. Lies, lies, and more lies. I became a threat to his false narrative due to knowing him since the 80’s. He targets young people who have broken homes, giving them his pearls of wisdom. Knows more than many in the room although he’s been living with his parents his entire life, age 57. He ran and began slandering me to complete strangers to invalidate what I saw in him. Do you think he’s a narcissist?
Different states of mind possibly. I have different moods that come out that would test differently if I were to answer the questions according to the mood. They would call these parts in IFS. Could also just be the inconsistency of the tests themselves
Baby Reindeer made me feel sick 🤒 also. It is wrong on so many levels. I want to live in a more innocent world. I’m sure that speaks more to my state of mind but can’t anything be subtle these days
Richard, no, you are not losing your mind. Those lovely thumbs up, fireworks and balloons are the new iPhone feature in the operating system. If you do a thumbs up long enough, it will show a thumbs up in a bubble. And other hand gestures activate the other features. Two thumbs up or down, the peace sign, holding your hands in the heart shape, etc. It is quite shocking and hilarious at first, but can become annoying after a while. So do try to keep your hand gestures to a minimum ole chap!! 😂 👍🏻 Cheers.
Trying to work out this concept.. could it be that capitalism has contributed to more of a general atmosphere of oppression from this invisible force…kind of like a god? The things we need to live are dependent indirectly if not directly on a soulless corporation/cult/government machine that has no ability to care for human beings personally. So the more we must look to this cold god that seemingly rewards, more richly, the most devious and cutthroat among us…we begin to conform ourselves to that image. We project narcissism as an element of survival even if it conflicts with higher ideals of compassion we may have embraced or we are terrified inside. Then as people experience a crushing betrayal they go googling for an explanation. Eureka, this thing called narcissism makes things make a little more sense and then many go off half cocked like a newly converted believer with just enough information to be dangerous….or something like that…
I'm just passing by to say Hello. I already know these things about the 'narcisistic people' and also the 'people-pleasers' but somehow I feel that it's important to stop here for a moment. Maybe I can tell you all: Don't stay at that level when you just keep putting labels on people. It's necessary to cope with each situation individually. Your feelings and emotions are more important than that how you name someone. We always need to work with that how we feel and what we think about ourselves and the world. We cannot change other people around us and our life isn't about them. That is my experience.
Narcissists do well in life money wise. Weather its because bosses are narcs or its just accepting that they are a prick, majority of people act the way they think they should be acting
"Is this person of evil intent? ¸We have to consider not everybody is operating in good faith (how to contribute to humans). If you wanted a broad structure for understanding human behavior through that lens , narcissism is the wrong one. Psychopathy is correct one. You will get so much more useful, applicable data, rules, guidelines in looking psychopathy than narcissism. It's good philosophically think more clearly ahead of time. I have choice." Then CBT tells to the socially anxious that: 1) toxic people do not exist 2) that we must expose to everyone and enter in karpman drama triangle of being assertive with pathological liars 3) to believe that we are hallucinating toxic people This CBT explanation given to socially anxious where socially anxious common sense is pathologized - will lead anyone being traumatized to develop severe trauma bonding and codependency and being stuck with toxic people.
What?! Sorry maybe I misunderstood...do you mean CBT as cognitive behavioural therapy? I'm not sure that's a correct analogy...will check with my CBT specialised friend who works for CAMs....I don't think says there are no toxic people??
@@josiejodoran7130 CBT tells us via ABC model that our thoughts are the cause of the distress. That many people in our circumstances that cause us stress react in different manner than us - and this is the "proof" to CBT that toxic people do not exist - we are creating them with our thoughts. This is message of CBT. CBT is horrible, ableist therapy. Ludovico Method in Clockwork Orange (1971) is actually CBT - CBT believes is we expose ourselves to fears and panic - that we will magically desensitize ourselves to horrors and become "adults". This is not true at all. We become lobotomized, we end up rationalizing toxic people and we end up codependent, people pleasers who intellectualize evil people and place label on them such as NPD - and this somehow gives them right to hurt and cause pain to the other people. CBT is ableist therapy - it is pathologizing victims of NPD and in the same time - it leaves narcissists alone. - Narcissist Personality Disorder One of the few conditions where the patient is left alone and everyone else is treated. (PierceTheDarkness) - It’s easy to take advice from wealthy, wellknown people who seem to have their shit together. The things that privileged selfhelp authors need to overcome their troubles don’t cut it for most of us. Money, power, prestige allow people to be oblivious to the inner lives of others "How to draw an owl" karlastarr.substack - DSM doesn't explain anything. So many therapies and particularly CBT and others are just so focused on extinguishing symptoms which were once strategies of survival. And it doesn't make sense that you want to extinguish - we want eventually to move away from these symptoms and these strategies but I certainly don't want to pathologize them or look at them as somehow defective because they have saved our lives. 🟥 Transforming Trauma Episode 21 IFS & NARM
My Soul Brother is an INFJ. I'm not surprised, and have always wondered about specifically this. I am an intj (rarest for females) which is what I suspected you of being (except the female part lol!) Look, Richard is just so honest that I don't care what he's talking about. Even though I dig everything he talks about, I would tune in just to listen to him tell the truth. That's enough for me. Maybe that's an intj issue, but just the unadorned, authentic truth is really my religion. I actually appreciate the depth though. Deep is not a common trait these days. When certain people ask me what I've been doing, I say "you know,heavy people stuff" 😂
What’s your theory on codependents being covert narcissists? I almost think codependents can be failed narcissists that in a sense they have less ability to get supply and moan when people ‘narcissists’ don’t give it to them. Or am I a narcissist projecting my own shit onto the real loving ones? Also I have skits on my channel about all my mistakes associated with finding out who I was that you might like too 💪😈💥🔥🏋️♀️
And im back watching Richard again. Always based around infidelity, he's verbally abusive, emotionally abusive. Full of rage if I ever have the temerity to ask for a relationship talk. The rage goes on for weeks. And honestly it's all over things he has literally made up in his head. I'm desperate to leave and leave emotionally is more key. He's nasty and frankly I believe he he has a screw loose.
Way back 20 years ago when I did the Meyers Briggs test I was tied for infj enfp, I believe. The breakdown said I was in 3% of world population that would answer exactly as I did. 🙃 (Richard, when is ur birthday, please? Google will only tell me u were born in 1978)
Yes, unfortunately people throw around terms just like and don't care about the consequences and then when you have actually been a victim of NPD abuse and you dare talk about it, you may not even be believed. As for MBTI, I think INFJ is still the rarest with 1,5%. But in a previous video you said you were and INFP which are about 4,4% or so the stats say. Still both types are very introverted, with the INFJ probably a bit more. I'd say that those who confused you for one of the ES types don't really know much MBTI. You scream out loud NF to me. As far as I've studied the system and seen from personal observation, type doesn't change. You just develop functions that are not typical for your type depending on your circumstances. Besides, there are subtypes along which can move. That's explored by Dr. Dario Nardi who does neuroimaging of different types.
No if you grey rock them enough or they see you no longer play along in the shared fantasy. They will move on. No contact is best! They usually have others to move onto anyway. You will never be their only focus.
Every so often i come back to these videos to help maintain my walls. Ive stopped talking about my experiences, become indifferent, and have a whole new experience and perspectives in things in life. I think im healing
Loved seeing this comment. In a very similar place in life. 🥂 to heading, homie. 🖖
Good evening Richard. ...
".. a consistent lack of empathy for people around them .. " 🤝
I know someone like this and love learning from you. You speak very well, and explain things in a manner easily understood. Thank you.
Do not personalize your exhaustion. Honor yourself as To have brief recess , lunch break tea break, breathing exercises break,
and then we come back to this community of opportunity perseverance of self reality /discovery. Community. Communication is key. Thank you for fostering this conversation. 😎🌻💯
The way they scrutinise your mental state.
Richard, one of my favorite things is when a person has a dry sense of humor that makes me burst out laughing. Thank you. Your humor is layered and so, I get to feel it and then feel it on another level. It's healing to me. My therapist asked me once, Carly do you think love has to be earned? I thought he was being silly. Of course it does! How else are you going to be loved? He said, that's wrong. Took a while for me to figure that out. I'm an infj and it doesn't change from year to year or test to test. I'm an introvert who is mistaken for an extrovert all the time. But, being in a crowd is exhausting. I need time to go and be all alone in silence and stillness to think and to calm myself. Last week, I decided to take a little bite of a marijuana gummy. It's legal here. I had never done that before. I will never do it again. Do you know what it does? It doesn't allow me to ruminate. I think a thought and three seconds later it shifts my brain. I start another train of thought and it shifts me away and I forget what I was thinking. I have to be able to use my mind. Unfortunately, it's where I live right now. It takes humility for a therapist to say a lot of the things that you say. It probably brings a lot of grief your way. But, I will never stand on a soapbox and bash a narcissist because, I wouldn't want to be one. It's like when you see a snake. It's better to just quietly walk away. You kind of blew my mind. Before I went to therapy, I used to say, I'm tired of looking at myself through other people's eyes. I want to live my life looking out through my eyes. I learned how to do that. Do I ever give myself credit for anything? Um, not yet. If you study INFJs you'll find out that we don't have a lot of friends and we don't want a lot of friends. I just want one thing. One person who allows me to get to know them and who has the patience to get to know who I am. That's the sweetest fruit I've ever tasted. Unfortunately, mine died on our kitchen floor. No, I'm not over it. But, I learned not to be so hard on myself now. I learned how to ask myself questions and listen to the truth of my own answers. I'm so glad it turned out you're not the narcissist I thought you were. 🙂 I am extremely intuitive and empathetic. I'm learning how to shut it off at will now. I can't live with it turned on all the time anymore. I wish I could see one of your lectures in person. I just happened to live a handful of miles away from where slim shady grew up. By a little lake called St. Clair. I caught this live by accident and I hope I catch the next one live as well. I've always wanted to see Spain. I like donkeys. They have a great sense of humor. I love their stubbornness and being Sicilian, well, it must be in my genes. Thank you for opening yourself up so that people like me could have a look inside. I spend time in introspection every day. I asked my dad yesterday on the phone if he did and he didn't even understand what I was saying. God bless you. You're special. No. I don't mean autistically special. And, you're very easy to look at. Good night, our Shakespearean therapist.
You go on and on, are you Journaling or do you expect t us to read that
@@helenachase5627wow how insensitive, and yes I did read it all as why not, through others experiences and things they’ve used along the way to help, helps others or maybe you should of just swiped by no need to make any remarks, at all maybe ? Have a blessed day 😊
@@julie4740 some people are just really insistent on spreading their hatred and venom. Not everyone wants to take ownership of their life or experience! I love the comment sections in UA-cam… Find some of the best people here. Writers, therapist, people healing from every kind of thing you can imagine in the best way possible, since it’s almost impossible to find decent professional help in this day and age. all the red tape, plus general human laziness people don’t want to keep learning things after they get their degree and psychology or medicine, or whatever else, so they don’t keep up with what’s going on. Anti-science, anti-curiosity, anti-humility! The opposite of Richard and Company.
Sending love to you and The long comment poster above!
Richard is super handsome for sure! I am a dude and attracted to females, but even I was frustrated with a lot of his posts and especially Instagram videos in the last year with these giant blocks of text right on top of his face the whole time!😂😂😂❤❤ OK there might be a bit of a Bromance going on. But it’s not sexual!
@@helenachase5627I loved reading that
I happen to be an introverted INFJ lyricist (singer, song-writer), who gets overwhelmed by people, noise, etc, and I have a second artist name, and not many followers…..but I love it! 🤣
I’m also a INFJ … we can feel the negative energy of toxic ppl , they exhaust are energy .😅
Lots of people v thankful for your thoughts.. we see them.
Lack of empathy check, entitlement and entitlement to hurt CHECK, grandiose view of themselves sure but no lying about THAT as far as I know. Advertising certainly. Reaction to slight, wound of false self (calling out right and wrong) was totally hysterically perpetually malicious while playing victim *
Good. My conscience is clear. Been feeling guilty 😂 Lol always a challenge to know what’s real.
Confidance is completely different from self assurance & being self reliant (Soverginity & Education/Awareness/Ability) ... some of the narcs in my recent past always liked to say- condescendingly, that i was "soooo confidant"... & "sure of myself"... LOL!!🤦♀️ I get why now! Thank you. You really hit this one out of the park again. Gland slams from you 247. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. To understand is to open the doors to our own freedom. In regards to the recent "explosion": with the "new" collective awareness- more ppl understanding & can ID/avoid Narcissism, comes the other side= the Narcissists among us are now in a more exposed state of being & hence are RETALIATING & trying to "cover up" their truth more= why more ppl are saying they have ADHD, etc... when really the root/core issue is their Narcissism. Yes they may have ADHA too... but now, they gotta distract ppl MORE from the main issue- that now the majority can see in them. Since Narcissists need to be seen as something other than who & what they are, the next best thing for them to do today in this climate is to use another psych. medical condition as a crutch or excuse... to distract from the truth. Hence, the recent explosion. It goes both ways. The more the collective awareness is able to ID & disengage from Narcissists the more the Narcissists "react". That's what I'm seeing at least... and I do see what you are saying too in my own life. Every time I go out I hear at least one person say "Narcissist". So the more the collective becomes aware of the truth the more the narcs try to hide &/or retaliate. The result of the massive shift in collective consciousness... they are way more exposed today. And yup, that's the tell: them bashing you or anyone else who comes in with truth & reality to help. That's the retaliation! It's crystal clear what's going on to me now. So thank you. The only ones who are still confused are the Narcissists themselves. Typical. LoL
Going through a divorce and everything my husband says is actually making me giddy to the point when he cuts his phone off in mid conversation, I start laughing and wonder did anyone see me laughing like I’m in a nut house. He actually said something to one of the clerks at the court house and she asked if maybe I need therapy? Lol it’s the triangulation maneuver. The only one’s attention and respect is the magistrate who actually helps in division. Thanks for a reminder of how they operate. Need to stay reminded before court because he is going to put on a show.
Im so sorry
I know how much it hurts just trying to accept the truth
I hate it that I've been following your work, enjoying your wisdom, humor, insight, that gentle, calm brand of pragmatism about some of the hardest things in life, so long that I feel like I've said everything. You always say "I hope that was useful," and I always think...Useful?! You change people and you almost do it with ease. It is such a gift. Sorry for being redundant but it brightens my day. And this was on my birthday, so it was extra...😊. I love that painting too.
Have a great weekend, Richard
I can honestly say I have only known 1 narcissist for sure in my entire life. and that was a girlfriend I had on and off for 5 years, ending in 2021. it was the most drama filled emotional train wreck and this why we split up probably a dozen times and she moved in and out of my house 5 times. funny thing is that every time she would move out, I would be left with no furniture, not even a bed and one time not even a tv as her stuff was mostly newer and nicer so we had agreed to use hers. but each time she would move out she would list one of the reasons being that I was too controlling about the decor of the house!
anyways, I now live in Mexico and am starting to become suspicious about my girlfriend's mother. she spends most of her time in the US and when she is not in Mexico I rented her house as my place to stay. this most recent time after she returned to Mexico and I moved out of her house I was given a list of complaints... a couple of which were - that I threw out a cheap paper calendar that was on the side of her fridge (as it changed years and the calendar was finished) AND that I drank her tea that she got from India (probably about 12-15 tea bags in 3 months!). it's just so petty and childish. no adult in their right mind would bring these things up as issues.
Holy crap I was just wondering about this a few days before this posted.
"The only thing that causes me mental illness is people." Hahahaha You funny, but seriously, thank you so much for all you do.
Yes! Thank you for covering this topic!!! Lots of love from an extrovert and confident person... Ha! 😂🤗💖
Whoa! Richard, you have described exactly what I experienced while in public and approaching a person I had previously confronted. I had worked hard to do it gently but directly, I thought…. While I was experiencing the other interiorly exploding, I don’t think anyone else in the assembly sensed what I did in those moments of dark intense energy! Thanks for explaining that in such detail and with fireworks! So THAT’S WHAT THAT WAS! WOW!! Narcissistic injury! For me a God-gotcha-covered reality! I was able to keep eye contact for the whole detonation as I walked imperturbably past the smoking
scene!! Whoa! Phenomenal! THANK YOU for your profound clarity! I am able to breathe all the way down with that interior hollow-tube-delightful perception! Voila!
Thanks Richard always a pleasure to watch you !!😊
Excellent video, thank you!
Good evening Richard. I have not realised that my partner is a narcissist and after being so confused with his behaviour I started watching your videos doubting that I might be living with one and yes I completely agree with you. I'm living with one 😮. I am planning to leave him forever but I have to gather courage to do.
Be prepared. Stay safe. Do your best to out think every scenario. Keep watching his videos and read on healing yourself to stay strong.
It's not that easy due to the trauma bonding! But if you understand the personality disorder you can do what you need to do !! Believe in your inner strength and that you deserve the best in life. You do not need to be disrespected nor made to feel bad about yourself! I wish you the best.
💪💪💪💪
Whatever you do, do NOT tell him you’re leaving/divorcing him until you’re gone or have served him!! I made that mistake and it has made everything 100 times worse. Do your homework, keep the peace as best you can and make an exit plan! And the other thing to keep in mind is make sure you stay safe. Figure out where your closest women’s shelter is just in case. Be strong and good luck. 🙏🏼
I am very careful and I will not tell him. I have been physically tortured by him many times. He doesn't have any attachment towards our children. I am trying my best to accept the reality. The other day i caught him red handed with another woman in her house. But he still denies and says I was discussing my business. Wonder what he discussed in closed doors. He keeps telling that I need my space. I am spending my money for my enjoyment and you do not have any rights to interfere. Richard can you help me to handle this statement coz I can't reply.
I have had to train myself to be confident. Thank you for this video 💕💫
Thank you keep up the good work. 😊
I love listening to you for your mind. I love listening to your realisations. I'm an infj and the way you described yourself is similar to me 😬
Oh Richard, you've officially made it to my lunch list. Here are the reasons one you look exactly like my ex-narcissist with an English accent. Thank God you don't sound like him. But almost identical twins. Kind of crazy. Too, I too am an inftbf blah blah blah. Tested in the less than 4%. Now you're sitting here singing my favorite Pink Floyd song 😂😂😂. Thank you for all you do Richard cuz you really really are the Carl Young of the modern era. You've got to grasp on this that no one else except maybe Dr. Ramini has. (Spelling). Please keep doing what you're doing. I swear you keep me sane.
"Some people are bad" is a trap that leads to viewing the world through a fear-based victim/perpetrator mindset. "Some people are bad for me." We can't ignore that good/bad outcomes exist. But bad/good(one thing) is not something we can optimize for without becoming fearful, constraining, and reactive. "Love is [the force that] enables choice. Love is always stronger than fear. Always choose on the basis of love."
I think sometimes people project things on people who are more shy/silent than avarage and on people who are more social/confident than avarage.
I have experienced people projecting on me when i was shy/quet.
And this happenned to my fiance resently; we were on a vacation. We went to random tourist bar. My fiance was happy and he had drank couple drinks and was talking to random other tourists (who where strangers to us) at the bar.
Then random middle aged woman came to the bar who we didn't know. My fiance started to chat with her.
But then the woman said she is a theraphist and that she doesnt belive a word my fiance is saying, she thinks he has manic depressive disorder and adhd and does my fiance have a mood medication. We where like "?????". He was just happily and casually chatted to her and that made her to cover him in pile of random diagnoses. My fiance laughed off as a joke what woman said and we went a way. Later day we saw the same woman and she was super embaressed and came to apoligize to him.
But she was super weird. And its kinda scary to think that she is a theraphist. Like does she project like that on her patients who are just happy and social?
Love ❤️ love 💕 absolutely love 💗 you Richard. You super funny 😄
Cheers for lighting up the good mental map we construct as we learn more about behavior so we can move forward and continue growing. Great. Many thanks Richard. Sure wish you receive the support and value you need.
Excellent for pointing out how we need to stop using clinical language for general bad behavior (specially sum of us not being professional/qualified). Simply not getting anything out of using energy to classify others' problems. If is unhealthy and they are not at least mirroring some of what the good deeds we do, is fact they are not nice and not good for joining in much things. Simple. Very good point.
@belindamcfaddin It's no mistake that I've been following you. Having the label of narcissist fixed in my head and heart for a man I truly and deeply love was so wrong, but I kept watching and you finally opened my eyes to the truth of his being and the confidence in himself. No doubt he has a few traits of narcissism, but certainly not NPD. Thank you for all of your videos that have helped me so much, in seeing him as the complete and beautiful man that he is. Sending my cheers and blessings to you, and I'll keep watching for your words of wisdom in the future.
Thanks richardx
I laughed out loud when Richard said Spanish Orange 😂
On another note Thankyou Richard describing prolonged grief in London but the other day describing post traumatic embitterment syndrome is adjacent to it genius a total aha moment to what I am going through 🙏🙏🙏
your vulnerability and not faking anything makes my heart grow big. and thanks for bringing me down to earth. love
Yeah my ex narc thought he was the bee knees the "caring" profession rewarded him
I believe that the success of the narcissist/psychopath depends at least partly on the level (in one person) or ammount(in several people) of supply they are able to harness and keep under control.
When you go looking to buy a certain brand & model car and you are in the consideration phase of making a decision, it is only then, that you start seeing instances of other ppl on the highway driving that same model car.
*Hello Richard* (if you can respond please do),* I've reached a point of realising I walk out of the house daily into a fantasy world the moment I put on a mask. But the worst thing is I've started to function additively as a narcissist and it's highly* addictive of which I've started dealing with it I just need help not to fall deeper cause I didn't even realise I'd given up on fighting my trauma and I have just escaped to a grandiose self fantasy for 5 months, and more concretely for one month. Until a number of people at my university noticed my bad breath and the fact I wasn't caring at all about what people thought..(I genuinely had been ignoring it for so long).
Gosh this is useful ..I'm often trying to find the difference between thw two ..
Thanks Richard, as always very interesting. I hear you about the 'explosion' of people being diagnosed with or realising they are ADHD / autistic. I'm wondering if this is due to a large number of people like myself born in the 60's who didn't have any diagnosis because there was no definition or understanding then. ( another aspect is the evidence that's coming to light around vaccine injury & of course the vaccine programme for children has massively increased in the past 60 years). It was my son that started posting out my autistic side because at school h'e been educated around children with ASD, they all have & they recognise the behaviour. This could also be part of the increasing awareness. I actually got told by a good friend who''s a supervisor for CAMs that I actually present as ADHD/ASD which is a tricky picture to diagnose... & of course I have CPTSD from my upbringing so it's difficult as you know, there's a lot of crossover of behaviour with these ( great Venn diagram comes to mind that shows the similarities & the individual behaviour unique to each condition!). Thanks again for a thought provoking vid. :-D
Hello to Espania! ☺️🙋🏼♀️
2:45 "They really don't seem to care what other people think."
Maybe I'm misunderstanding you but I wasn't aware empathy is about one caring about what others think.
I would never have put Richard Grannon down as an introvert learn something new every day peace
👍
Everytime I think I'm wrong and everything is in fact my fault, I watch one of your videos and yep that's my husband.
I did the psychometric test in university INFJ I have done it since a few times with same result moths to a flame where narcissistic personality disordered people are drawn to because of our traits.
B I U T I F U L fireworks... 😂🎉😂.... might be from the movement of your hands and the Thumbs-up icon.... But don't stop, keep it going... It's Real Expressive Communication... 🎉🎉🎉 Cheers!
Recently, was a visitor in a local Church and interacted as a newcomer with a Clergyman who seemed very confident on the palpit and it seemed to me he was a person who used his role as a speaker to express his displeasures to the congregation. It was how he went off topic of the sermon topic that was unsettling. Thank you for covering the topic as I wondered what was behind his very confident behaviour. I guess I made a judgement call which is my choice but I did not like the style of this Pastor. I agree it does take time to get to know what makes people tick. Might just of heard a tacky communicator with low empathy who had a weird sense of humour being himself. I don’t know.
I ❤ Bosses like Grandad! 😂😂
Absolutely throwing around a common term that .. "everyone I don't like is a narcissist "..diminishes the real survivo'rs experiences and paints a banality over the term ..
you described absolutely my father when you were sharing about the narc. rage..that it's waaaay out of proportion to what is happening at the moment. I don't think people get how absolutely frightening that experience is ....even therapists I've shared that with,... the experience of being screamed at two inches in front of your face..for hours ,... for sharing a positive acknowledgement you received,.....and the therapist just yawns like....'No big deal..its just yelling its not hitting you "
that attitude is just beyond shocking .I'm shocked at how many therapists I've met that lack not even the inability to let me know my award was a threat to his "false self " and maintaining total "power and control" over my life,.. and his "superior status",.. which I get now, what the reaction was about..
but I've seen too many counselors that didn't think that was a big deal,......that didn't show any knowledge of what was behind that behavior,.....and, who couldn't even share common empathy...Am I the only one that's been exposed to too many lousy therapists to count ??
My first therapist was amazing, and I had to leave my second therapist. Luckily for me, I watch a lot of Sam Vaknin's videos, so I'm not surprised by people's lack of emotional empathy. I just leave. You might enjoy Doctor Ramani's videos.
Yup.
Entrained Generation incoming.
Watch out for the girl in the Red Dress.
Ooh...minute 28...great segment on false self Richard...particularly in Music and Art. ❤
If there’s more broccoli 🥦 in the garden then it’s due to the seeds we’re planting. Our thoughts are seeds.
Humans have been more focused on narcissism in recent years from the availability and accessibility of information, so it’s seen and observed more. It’s been shown that our thoughts can create reality (thoughts as waves in our brain are converted into particle form in the external world). The Nobel Prize in physics was awarded in 2022 on how particles are formed and influenced by observation, or quantum entanglement. Energy flows where attention goes.
Please don't give your own ridiculous interpretation of science.
The Nobel Prize was awarded for proof of quantum entanglement, which states that the properties of entangled particles are always perfectly correlated, no matter how far apart they stray. This has nothing to do with the 'double slit' experiment, which showed that a measuring device (not a human!) interfered with how particles behave. Please stick to facts.
Evil is also without nationality/class/gender…. The devils work maybe … God bless you 🙏
Fellow INFJ here. Yes , that's what I understand. INFJ are the rarest.
I thought you would probably type as an INFJ. I also have typed as an INFJ on multiple occasions over time. Unfortunately, though, because of the rarity of this type and because they've almost been given a mythical persona, everyone and their dog is suddenly claiming to be one. When I typed as this, it made so much sense as I have always felt like I would communicate and understand things in a logical way and I could find no one else with the same mindset.....it has always been a very lonely existence in that regard. Suddenly there has been an explosion in people typing as INFJ, but I have never believed that there are as many as people are now claiming. If there are so many, why does nobody seem to 'get' me? Everybody wants to be unique nowadays and, because of that nobody is!! A similar thing is happening with narcissism. The definition is becoming so lost that it has gone full circle and now it seems that narcissistic traits are being applied to those who once were considered survivors of narcissistic abuse. The more obsessed we become with over analysing in these ways, the more we lose the purpose for what these terms were originally meant. Now everyone is either an absolute angel or an absolute devil. That's not how life works. Categorising people reduces everyone to robots and then we fail to see the person behind the label.
I’ve tested as INFJ | ENFP as well. Depends on the day, the year, the scenes that pop in my mind while taking the test.
I only struggle communicating with the people in my life who have narcissistic tendencies. I’ve wondered why and after reading and studying and learning - I get it.
Thanks for talking about its rarity. I have a hard time believing the rareness part because most tests are telling me this and I start thinking it’s just a ploy or something to get me to buy. 😂
I would say I go into ENFP mode when amongst friends. Apparently there is a 'jumper' personality style where you can jump from one type to another. All I know is that I'm an oddball and I explain myself until I'm blue in the face about certain things and I get ascribed motives that are completely polls apart from my actual motives. I tend to do things and say things out of care for others, but often get people being really suspicious of me and all I'm thinking is 'I'm just trying to be kind/I'm just treating people the way I want to be treated' but I get misjudged and misunderstood so often that I just want to withdraw from everyone. I don't want to be that person at all, but I find so painful to be misunderstood all the time that I just want to give up.
I have experienced the same frustrations as you when it comes to communication and people misunderstanding me, and for the same reasons. But after observation, I realized the only ones who ascribe motives to me that I don’t have and argue with me about it are the ones that have significant mental health issues such as bipolar schizoaffective, severe anxiety and personality disorder or something that hasn’t been diagnosed because they won’t get an evaluation.
It’s tough. I am sorry you experience this, too, but it seems with many more people. It sounds lonely and difficult. I hope your people can become more empathic.
Greetings Richard
Best wishes you are well!
I believe I somewhat understand your philosophy of "Cult of one". Nevertheless,
will it possible to go into the creed of religious/ocult narcissism.
Can it manifest later in life, with a position of power given with no merit? Surrounded with bad players who he started to adopt their behaviors? His favorite line “everbody likes me but you” inciting that I was the one with the problem because I put up boundaries.
What do I call it when anything bad that penetrates this shell doesn't exist? Like my mom drops a remote and goes into a hysterical rage about "this household" "This house"? Like, no you dropped the remote handicap. That's not spirits doing it. What's that called? I'm trying to stay clear of mental disorders etc. But everytime I (not realy) confront her about things like that it's always delusion. Somehow it's always someone elses fault that the stress of having being taken care of is somehow an inconvience to their existance. Yeah I'm not a multimilionaire because I've coded a website once mom. I'm instantly the failure and everything gets put on me for some reason. What's that called? Because I want to look further into looking what to do appart from just dumping her in an elderly home and pray she doesn't sell the house and waste it all on useless shit.
The gestures making the fireworks and thumbs up are a feature on your Mac 🫶
Did you play John Procter ? ! Halarious , I was in that play, the crucible, as a teen. I did not want the lead part ( is it Abigail ? ) that my drama teacher suggested , I was happy to be a crazy witch in the background, have I changed much ? , ha ha ha ! Love Daniel Day Lewis, what an actor ! I did the Myers Briggs test whilst doing my degree. Love to Ibiza , my favourite place in the world ! ! Keep well everyone.
Yeah, the "narc hunt". No bueno
Yes we see them...lol
The recording was dodgy. Glad you sere able to correct it.😊
Omgosh Richard you should watch the Chad Daybell cult trial is going on. Weeeeee, talked bout narcissistic people, shared fantasies. Whew!
I've tried to work out the difference between adhd autism schizophrenia ocd ptsd because I could have all but schizophrenia, but my brothers schizophrenic, . Dopamine seems to be the key to all.. low dopamine, bodies having difficulty processing dopamine.. and because of that signals in the brain are effected... it all seems to tie together, I now feel its intergrational trauma
So if there’s such an increase in narcissism, in our society, and the premise is that the original maternal figure and relationship with a child was dysfunctional, i.e., the dead mother as a cause of narcissism, does that mean that our society is now experiencing a preponderance of dead mothers? Or are narcissists developing later in life? With no direct root from their original mother-child relationship? Are people changing? Or are mothers changing? Or both? The speed with which we are evidencing growing narcissism points at the adults morphing, not the mothers. No? Richard, please comment.
Indifference with a belief that your pain is an inconvenience.
Talking about himself in the third person; he’s “The Hatter”.
Lies, lies, and more lies.
I became a threat to his false narrative due to knowing him since the 80’s.
He targets young people who have broken homes, giving them his pearls of wisdom.
Knows more than many in the room although he’s been living with his parents his entire life, age 57.
He ran and began slandering me to complete strangers to invalidate what I saw in him.
Do you think he’s a narcissist?
Did Myers Briggs a few times it was different each time .
Different states of mind possibly. I have different moods that come out that would test differently if I were to answer the questions according to the mood. They would call these parts in IFS.
Could also just be the inconsistency of the tests themselves
Baby Reindeer made me feel sick 🤒 also. It is wrong on so many levels. I want to live in a more innocent world. I’m sure that speaks more to my state of mind but can’t anything be subtle these days
Yin and yang
The MBTI is a nice conversation piece but depends on mood. The currently cool DISC profiles even more as they reduce personalities to a single color.
Check out "Enneagram" personality system
Multiple positions of bullies
Richard, no, you are not losing your mind. Those lovely thumbs up, fireworks and balloons are the new iPhone feature in the operating system. If you do a thumbs up long enough, it will show a thumbs up in a bubble. And other hand gestures activate the other features. Two thumbs up or down, the peace sign, holding your hands in the heart shape, etc. It is quite shocking and hilarious at first, but can become annoying after a while. So do try to keep your hand gestures to a minimum ole chap!! 😂 👍🏻 Cheers.
How is your Blood pressure sir? Please check it.
Hey Richard, hope all is well Margaret para escotia, sola hola (mi Internet amigo) 13 year subscriber.
Trying to work out this concept.. could it be that capitalism has contributed to more of a general atmosphere of oppression from this invisible force…kind of like a god? The things we need to live are dependent indirectly if not directly on a soulless corporation/cult/government machine that has no ability to care for human beings personally. So the more we must look to this cold god that seemingly rewards, more richly, the most devious and cutthroat among us…we begin to conform ourselves to that image. We project narcissism as an element of survival even if it conflicts with higher ideals of compassion we may have embraced or we are terrified inside. Then as people experience a crushing betrayal they go googling for an explanation. Eureka, this thing called narcissism makes things make a little more sense and then many go off half cocked like a newly converted believer with just enough information to be dangerous….or something like that…
I'm just passing by to say Hello. I already know these things about the 'narcisistic people' and also the 'people-pleasers' but somehow I feel that it's important to stop here for a moment. Maybe I can tell you all: Don't stay at that level when you just keep putting labels on people. It's necessary to cope with each situation individually. Your feelings and emotions are more important than that how you name someone. We always need to work with that how we feel and what we think about ourselves and the world. We cannot change other people around us and our life isn't about them. That is my experience.
10:54 😂
this type of behavior is very common in the gym
Narcissists do well in life money wise. Weather its because bosses are narcs or its just accepting that they are a prick, majority of people act the way they think they should be acting
"Is this person of evil intent? ¸We have to consider not everybody is operating in good faith (how to contribute to humans). If you wanted a broad structure for understanding human behavior through that lens , narcissism is the wrong one. Psychopathy is correct one. You will get so much more useful, applicable data, rules, guidelines in looking psychopathy than narcissism. It's good philosophically think more clearly ahead of time. I have choice."
Then CBT tells to the socially anxious that:
1) toxic people do not exist
2) that we must expose to everyone and enter in karpman drama triangle of being assertive with pathological liars
3) to believe that we are hallucinating toxic people
This CBT explanation given to socially anxious where socially anxious common sense is pathologized - will lead anyone being traumatized to develop severe trauma bonding and codependency and being stuck with toxic people.
What?! Sorry maybe I misunderstood...do you mean CBT as cognitive behavioural therapy? I'm not sure that's a correct analogy...will check with my CBT specialised friend who works for CAMs....I don't think says there are no toxic people??
@@josiejodoran7130 CBT tells us via ABC model that our thoughts are the cause of the distress. That many people in our circumstances that cause us stress react in different manner than us - and this is the "proof" to CBT that toxic people do not exist - we are creating them with our thoughts.
This is message of CBT.
CBT is horrible, ableist therapy.
Ludovico Method in Clockwork Orange (1971) is actually CBT -
CBT believes is we expose ourselves to fears and panic - that we will magically desensitize ourselves to horrors and become "adults". This is not true at all.
We become lobotomized, we end up rationalizing toxic people and we end up codependent, people pleasers who intellectualize evil people and place label on them such as NPD - and this somehow gives them right to hurt and cause pain to the other people.
CBT is ableist therapy - it is pathologizing victims of NPD and in the same time - it leaves narcissists alone.
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Narcissist Personality Disorder
One of the few conditions where the patient is left alone and everyone else is treated.
(PierceTheDarkness)
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It’s easy to take advice from wealthy, wellknown people who seem to have their shit together. The things that privileged selfhelp authors need to overcome their troubles don’t cut it for most of us. Money, power, prestige allow people to be oblivious to the inner lives of others
"How to draw an owl" karlastarr.substack
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DSM doesn't explain anything. So many therapies and particularly CBT and others are just so focused on extinguishing symptoms which were once strategies of survival. And it doesn't make sense that you want to extinguish - we want eventually to move away from these symptoms and these strategies but I certainly don't want to pathologize them or look at them as somehow defective because they have saved our lives.
🟥 Transforming Trauma Episode 21 IFS & NARM
My Soul Brother is an INFJ. I'm not surprised, and have always wondered about specifically this. I am an intj (rarest for females) which is what I suspected you of being (except the female part lol!)
Look, Richard is just so honest that I don't care what he's talking about. Even though I dig everything he talks about, I would tune in just to listen to him tell the truth. That's enough for me. Maybe that's an intj issue, but just the unadorned, authentic truth is really my religion.
I actually appreciate the depth though. Deep is not a common trait these days. When certain people ask me what I've been doing, I say "you know,heavy people stuff" 😂
32:23
3:02 define other people and special treatment?
What’s your theory on codependents being covert narcissists? I almost think codependents can be failed narcissists that in a sense they have less ability to get supply and moan when people ‘narcissists’ don’t give it to them. Or am I a narcissist projecting my own shit onto the real loving ones?
Also I have skits on my channel about all my mistakes associated with finding out who I was that you might like too
💪😈💥🔥🏋️♀️
His excuses all the time is what bothers me,I’m never included in anything
I was just there and didn’t see you Ricardo
Narcissists are necessary for making contributions to you tube videos
They should get a royalty off their plights
And im back watching Richard again. Always based around infidelity, he's verbally abusive, emotionally abusive. Full of rage if I ever have the temerity to ask for a relationship talk. The rage goes on for weeks. And honestly it's all over things he has literally made up in his head. I'm desperate to leave and leave emotionally is more key. He's nasty and frankly I believe he he has a screw loose.
Did you say ‘IBIZA’ 🎉 lol that explains why you look tired 😅
Way back 20 years ago when I did the Meyers Briggs test I was tied for infj enfp, I believe. The breakdown said I was in 3% of world population that would answer exactly as I did. 🙃 (Richard, when is ur birthday, please? Google will only tell me u were born in 1978)
3% of 8,1 billion people is 243 million. That's a lot of people.
@@carmenl163 thank you. I had never actually done the calculation 🙃
Hahahaha
Narcissism is a universal code as originated in 1717 .
😂
😂😂
Yes, unfortunately people throw around terms just like and don't care about the consequences and then when you have actually been a victim of NPD abuse and you dare talk about it, you may not even be believed. As for MBTI, I think INFJ is still the rarest with 1,5%. But in a previous video you said you were and INFP which are about 4,4% or so the stats say. Still both types are very introverted, with the INFJ probably a bit more. I'd say that those who confused you for one of the ES types don't really know much MBTI. You scream out loud NF to me. As far as I've studied the system and seen from personal observation, type doesn't change. You just develop functions that are not typical for your type depending on your circumstances. Besides, there are subtypes along which can move. That's explored by Dr. Dario Nardi who does neuroimaging of different types.
It is 'perfect' like Mathematics but from the dark side. Pure Evil.
A lack of empathy in a moment surely is not npd.
Does narcissistic stalking abuse last a lifetime?
No if you grey rock them enough or they see you no longer play along in the shared fantasy. They will move on. No contact is best! They usually have others to move onto anyway. You will never be their only focus.
technical difficulties please stand by
Richard, is this a lifelong stalking? Being we are internally psychotically objectified.
Just avoid the picks lol and catching Freudian slips sorry graphic and medicallol one track mind