Doug Stanhope - Would you Believe

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
  • Doug Stanhope
    excerpt from Word of Mouth
    available at www.sacredcow.com
    also visit www.dougstanhope.com

КОМЕНТАРІ • 573

  • @GSYBE631
    @GSYBE631 14 років тому +18

    "God spared him that average 72-year sentence on this shithole planet."
    I love that line so much.

  • @hiimbrady
    @hiimbrady 15 років тому +21

    fucking brilliant.
    "if you believe that death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt?
    'cause you're just not sure."

    • @jackwatsonepic626
      @jackwatsonepic626 Місяць тому

      The Pope supposed to represent god on Earth yet he drives around in a bulletproof mobile Pope mobile so why is he frightened of dying that's how you know it's all a load of BS .🤔 🇬🇧 .

  • @patrickthomas7470
    @patrickthomas7470 12 років тому +28

    stanhope is amazing. the pride of Bisbee, AZ

    • @modularmuse
      @modularmuse 6 років тому +2

      Lol, all 600 people according to Doug.

  • @curran18
    @curran18 16 років тому +43

    "Did you hear the great news? lightening struck my baby, yeah! He's in a better place, God picked him. I told you he was adorable."
    FTW

  • @brucegooding716
    @brucegooding716 10 років тому +47

    This is so. Fucking. Awesome.

  • @elu5ive
    @elu5ive 14 років тому +3

    "...your instincts [...], which is your real god if you think about it..." WOW just WOW with this sentence stanhope is officially one of the greatest thinkers ever

  • @bongolongo
    @bongolongo 12 років тому +4

    Subject aside, this is one of the finest pieces of stand up ever in regards to delivery, timing and everything. I can watch it over and over.

    • @funkk
      @funkk 2 роки тому +1

      Doug Stanhope in his prime was pretty much untoucheable. One of the greats.

  • @richardhines8622
    @richardhines8622 10 років тому +33

    This guy has a huge bag of good points , with funny attached to them , and some dissentached .

  • @samuelrobertson1567
    @samuelrobertson1567 5 років тому +4

    "....when you were Santa Claus eligible," LMAOOOOO!!!!!

  • @JazzyJonas
    @JazzyJonas 15 років тому +16

    I hesitate to say this about anyone, but, inarticulate as he may sometimes be, Doug Stanhope is pretty much right-on all the time.

  • @jakovterzic6956
    @jakovterzic6956 6 років тому +8

    "...but the bible was written before Beastie Boys were around, so it's open to interpretation" has to be one of the funniest and most comically loaded lines in comedy, and it sort of sneaks under the radar. This man, with a mic in his hand, is a fucking gladiator.

  • @urdisturbing
    @urdisturbing 15 років тому

    A thorough reading and understanding of the Bible is the surest path to atheism - Donald Morgan

  • @onebigusdorkus
    @onebigusdorkus Рік тому +1

    It's possible to simultaneously be happy for someone, and also be sad because you're going to miss them. This isn't difficult to grasp.

  • @tutkufilms
    @tutkufilms 13 років тому +1

    BEST STAND-UP ON THE PLANET! AMAZING LIVE!!!

  • @standoughope
    @standoughope 11 років тому +19

    Sometimes me and my friend play this drinking game where we go on Stanhope's videos and take a shot for every comment we see that mentions Bill Hicks. Yeah, we're fucking drunk!

    • @lancehart2137
      @lancehart2137 7 років тому +1

      Ryan Swanson You could do it with Mitch Hedberg too.

    • @robb5744
      @robb5744 7 років тому

      Ryan Swanson
      Massively underrated comment. Fucking annoying, i'nit?

  • @ananiasacts
    @ananiasacts 15 років тому +1

    Judging from the comments this guy is doing a marvelous job of rubbing their noses in their own excrement. If people are just thoughts passing through the mind of the single organism that inhabits planet earth, then this man, meme, or neuron, is certainly a part of its unwitting struggle for a genuine awareness. You've just got to admire that.

  • @CheddarBob39
    @CheddarBob39 11 років тому +28

    I usually don't like comedy where the fucker tries to make a "point" so to speak. But Doug Stanhope is funny and makes perfect sense. And I mean PERFECT sense. No arguing what he says. Plus it is funny.

  • @re2fanlicker2
    @re2fanlicker2 11 років тому +27

    "God spared him that average 72 year sentence on this shithole planet"

  • @YouthEnergy
    @YouthEnergy 14 років тому +12

    Lol grandma leaves at 0:30
    "I don't need to listen to this logic. What I need is a good game of bingo and a church."

    • @charlieclark2609
      @charlieclark2609 4 роки тому +2

      That's ex army how my family thinks. They hate logic and any thing that isn't about god or is about other gods and points of thinking , or about not. believing in gods. They hate independence and free thought.

  • @yushamush9849
    @yushamush9849 3 роки тому +1

    "Because you're just not sure" I love stanhope

  • @69zenos1
    @69zenos1 12 років тому +3

    Me too. Jesus is the guy that does my lawn mowing every 2 weeks

  • @BeauJames59
    @BeauJames59 15 років тому

    Same here, I actually started reading the Bible in Junior High and about gagged on Leviticus and Deuteronomy and noticed that in the Gospel of Mark, Jesus doesn't try to "save" people. It's very painful to go through that change and people will resist the truth................

  • @patrickchubey3127
    @patrickchubey3127 4 роки тому

    I can't believe I actually saw people talking amongst themselves at a live Doug Stanhope rant. Seriously? There's no way in the world I'd do anything except sit there and give him all of my attention because I wouldn't want to miss one single word. He's like the Beatles of comedy, would you want to miss anything, would you talk to your stupid buddy about stupid things if the Beatles were playing in your club? I wouldn't.

  • @bestguywhotellsitlikeitis
    @bestguywhotellsitlikeitis 15 років тому

    Oh look, an intelligent UA-cam comment. I'm not used to clicking "thumbs up", but I did, for you, and it felt good. Almost as good as hearing the end of this bit "...Because you're just not sure."

  • @goneutt
    @goneutt 5 років тому +15

    This is a more vibrant version of one of my rants. If death is the best thing that can happen to a Christian in good standing, why aren't you celebrating?

    • @kirikayumura6015
      @kirikayumura6015 5 років тому

      Ok, I'll bite. Death isn't the best thing that can happen to anyone. (exception being extreme cases where relief from suffering trumps non existence.) Death is absence of thought.. absence of experience.. effective non-existence. It is the hope of release from death that is looked forward to. Also, as timwins31 mentioned, the loss affects those connected with the person. Consider how (even if you do not believe that the Bible contains a divine message) the Bible describes how Jesus wept over Lazarus' death.. even though he resurrected him soon after. He was moved by the loss and the effect it had on himself and others.
      The second point, also brought out by timwins31.. Doug is choosing to make a joke of the hypocrisy that is rampant among us. Intentionally picking at what would be a sore spot for many people. But, no, death is never a good thing and Doug maybe feels that way as well. Even in the cases where one welcomes death over the unpleasantness of their current life, it is still not a good thing because it points at a sad circumstance.. no one should have to want to die. If it seems 'good' because it is better than what you have now, that's not something to celebrate over. You can be thankful for the release, but to celebrate over what is full of pain?

    • @petesmith9475
      @petesmith9475 5 років тому +1

      oh look at these triggered "im not a christian but..." assholes. I have always wondered why religious turds won't end themselfes and get straight ahead to meet their magic man. Why they just wond od with dugs and alcohol, because straight out suicide is a "sin" for them for some reason.

    • @Jack-yq6ui
      @Jack-yq6ui 5 років тому +1

      @timwins31 _Emotion isn't rational or logical. No one celebrates emotional pain._
      *Actually, we do. My grandmother was in many ways my actual mother, when she passed I relished the deep sense of loss I experienced, because it was all I truly had left of her, even though it left a hole behind inside of me, it is still unmistakably shaped in her form.*
      _ I don't need to stick my goddamn hand in a fire to know its hot._
      *Actually, you did at one point needed to stick your hand in a fire to understand it was hot, or via proxy had to be told by others that the fire was hot which at that point was reasonable to believe since you had some experience with changes in temperature and coming close to the fire prompted you to understand the chain of causality involved. In essence, sticking your hand in a fire is simply a way to acquire evidence for the claim that, **_sticking your hand in a fire will hurt you_** , wether you attain that evidence **_first hand_** (pun intended) or via proxy, is irrelevant*
      *The truth is that even religious people dont truly believe what they claim to believe. If I truly believed that everyone who does not believe is walking towards a giant hole in the ground, filled with eternal fire and pain, and my claim is that I am literally seeing them do so, all the while claiming that there is no hole, I would tackle them, tie them down, beat sense into them, especially when they neared the end. But this is not what we see happen, in fact religious people are most adamant about convincing others when they are young, the longer they remain religious, the less it becomes about it's truth value, and the more it simply settles in the brain as a complicated neurotic tick.*

  • @Jotto999
    @Jotto999 15 років тому

    This guy is awesome. Hail Doug Stanhope! He makes some great points.

  • @manateesanssanity
    @manateesanssanity 15 років тому

    Doug is the man.

  • @merjguitar
    @merjguitar 15 років тому

    what a great line lol. "if you really believe death leads to eternal bliss, then why are you wearing a seatbelt?" that shit's great i love this guy

  • @BoozyBeggar
    @BoozyBeggar 16 років тому +1

    The best part is the end: *slightly under his breath* "cuz you're just not sure"

  • @sam51092
    @sam51092 15 років тому

    'Did you hear the good news? Lightning struck my baby!'
    Christians SHOULD be talking like this. It's so fucking true.

  • @dohead123456
    @dohead123456 15 років тому

    You are my hero.

  • @JCMac777
    @JCMac777 15 років тому +1

    "If you get away from the symbolic view of Hell as eternal fire, and focus on Hell as eternal separation from God, it is easier to understand why people choose Hell."
    Because people shouldn't even be basing their morality on petty ideas of eternal punishment or reward in afterlife. What a sorry state were in if people base their morality on a rewards based system. It is selfishness, that is all there is to it.

  • @antifolkhero
    @antifolkhero 16 років тому

    This guy is a brilliant.

  • @mussman717word
    @mussman717word 15 років тому

    There is a fundamental difference between blind faith in a religion and belief in something transcendant in accordance with reason.

  • @JCMac777
    @JCMac777 15 років тому

    "We all know what is right and what is wrong."
    Naivete. I'll give you a scenario: A trolley is running out of control down a track. In its path are 5 people who have been tied to the track. Fortunately, you can flip a switch, which will lead the trolley down a different track to safety. Unfortunately, there is a single person tied to that track. Should you flip the switch?
    That poses a moral dilemma. You can't merely judge things based on what you think is right or wrong, black or white.

  • @Dezaru
    @Dezaru 15 років тому

    - Religion cannon around it. Peace and love, that's what all religions should be about, and that's what it was ever about, and that's all it will ever be about till the end of time. Peace and unconditional love for all beings, for we are all one. We are all infinite consciousness experiencing itself individually, we are all, and we are one. Once you realize this, the supposed divisions that exist between us you will realize are illusions. Realize and understand that there is no division.

  • @vikingsfan68
    @vikingsfan68 15 років тому

    Matthew 5:17--"Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them." The Church is the Body of Christ. It cannot be more authoritative than the Authority.

  • @MikeTrainormusic
    @MikeTrainormusic 16 років тому

    "because you're just not sure"
    This guy's great man

  • @jefersonvilaede
    @jefersonvilaede 6 років тому +5

    3:27 AWKWARD

  • @AtGiza
    @AtGiza 14 років тому

    I've only known Doug Stanhope for a short time now and he is already one of my favorite comedians. This guy is fucking funny.

  • @traxx19rw
    @traxx19rw 16 років тому

    Nature,
    He did exactly what you just said. He didn't say you were wrong, he showed you another point of view.

  • @JCMac777
    @JCMac777 15 років тому

    "Lastly, please understand that the Christian idea of Hell is not that of a God who is so angry that He punishes infinitely, but the fact of a permanent choice by the sinner of eternal rejection of God. It is us, not God, who initiates Hell."
    How can anyone, any human being comprehend eternity, let alone make a permanent choice?
    If God does not initiate Hell, where did hell come from then? Who made hell possible?

  • @rationalCrash
    @rationalCrash 16 років тому

    Brilliant! such excellent points and bloody funny too.

  • @thesteuds
    @thesteuds 17 років тому

    not only that, but hicks died years ago. No one was doing this when he was! Stanhope is one of his disciples. Hicks died before he could get any recognition from America, because America now and america then are 2 very different places. All I'm saying is that if Hicks were alive today, who knows if Stanhope would even be as popular.

  • @Taatj
    @Taatj 14 років тому

    Somebody give this man an oscar!

  • @dracosummoner
    @dracosummoner 15 років тому

    -> hiimbrady:
    Bear in mind that just because Christians believe in eternal bliss, does not mean that they should commit suicide the moment they are saved. They're hear to fulfill whatever purpose for which they were each made.

  • @merpuccino
    @merpuccino 16 років тому

    You know what? I'm a Christian and this doesn't make me angry. This guy's got some good points; how convincing are you as a christian if you twist what the Bible says so you can live conveniently? He's right - we pic and mix the Bible way too much these days.
    And it's also true what he says about dying - I mean, when my Grandfather who was a missionary died, we were sad, but we realized that we were just sad for ourselves, and it was nice because in that sense, we could be happy for him.

  • @mrmatt528
    @mrmatt528 12 років тому

    gotta love that there's a "...and I'm a mormon" video featured on this

  • @zlajacrnjak20
    @zlajacrnjak20 13 років тому

    @ScottishNonBeliever agreed! The world is becoming more and more interconnected, and now, thanks to the internet, we have an opportunity to meet other cultures and people with totally different mindsets than ours. What we need know the most is tolerance, and I really haven't noticed atheists promoting it too much.

  • @heikkijhautanen4576
    @heikkijhautanen4576 3 роки тому

    Amen Doug Amen!!! :)

  • @bodeezy
    @bodeezy 17 років тому

    "You make your own Christianity". That is the truth.

  • @tuktuktok
    @tuktuktok 14 років тому

    I just bought the new Stanhope CD. You should buy it too it makes you hip.

  • @marsh4321
    @marsh4321 15 років тому

    did anybody notice the old lady leaving once he started talkin about religion lmfao that made my fuckin day

  • @SteveRay911
    @SteveRay911 15 років тому

    Went to his show last night, he told everyone to pour beer on anyone that you saw videotaping-the way he set it up and everything was hilarious of course. This appears to be an older clip, since his DVD's have been out, he is probably more stringent, which makes sense. He did a two-hour show, crying laughing most of the time.

  • @i.kaminskiy7563
    @i.kaminskiy7563 6 років тому +5

    brutal and honest

  • @tiger355
    @tiger355 16 років тому

    i never realized doug had such great comedy. never cared for him so much on the man show.

  • @vikingsfan68
    @vikingsfan68 15 років тому

    If you do not understand that a watch is a machine that does not make choices, but performs tasks, while a human being is a person who makes choices, and not a machine, then I can't help you.

  • @tempemonkey
    @tempemonkey 12 років тому +1

    This is epic!!!

  • @F33bs
    @F33bs 17 років тому

    He is so right.

  • @rozeboosje
    @rozeboosje 16 років тому

    love it

  • @Nyquirk
    @Nyquirk 15 років тому

    Where have you ever seen the "lined up at the amusement park for forty five minutes and the handicap goes to the front of the line" rant? it's one of the most original acts
    I've ever seen. He may have stolen jokes in the past but I'd bet so has stanhope. And I would bet every comedian in history even if they put an original twist on it every single stand up comedian has an "it's been done" in their act

  • @hughtub
    @hughtub 17 років тому

    Yeah good points, there's really no reason to believe anything that can't be seen, felt, heard, or measured.

  • @vikingsfan68
    @vikingsfan68 15 років тому

    Christ was sending the Apostles to the most receptive audiences. He knew better than us who would hear and believe at that given time. But, St. Paul made it clear later that Christianity was not limited to the Jews, but to the Gentiles, also. That includes Samaritans. As far as Jesus's values holding up today: as of last Sunday, his Church was still going strong after 2000 years.

  • @1man1bike1road
    @1man1bike1road 2 роки тому

    god bless stanhope

  • @jherba
    @jherba 15 років тому

    he's literary. "happier than pick worms in a baby stool" thats a wonderful metaphor.

  • @kaiyeem
    @kaiyeem 14 років тому

    he is brilliantly funny and truthful, he reminds me of g carlin, b hicks and r pryor

  • @lustreboy
    @lustreboy 16 років тому

    yeah, the only comparison is that Doug seems to be one of those comedians/ artists who speak from the heart.
    Bill was Genius!
    and Doug's genius too!

  • @Val_Chillmer
    @Val_Chillmer 17 років тому

    awesome.

  • @rationalCrash
    @rationalCrash 15 років тому

    this guy is awesome! so bloody true.

  • @nature223
    @nature223 16 років тому

    dougspore,you show me a valid excuse for liberalism fixing the problem they tried to.

  • @MoonPisces029
    @MoonPisces029 12 років тому

    i fuckin love that guy that puts another beer on his stool

  • @vikingsfan68
    @vikingsfan68 15 років тому

    Concerning the Old and New Testaments: With the Incarnations of Christ, many laws of the Old Testament became unnecessary because of Christ. He fulfilled all of them by being the complete law in Himself. Everything that we need now resides not in a law, but in a Person.

  • @qermont
    @qermont 14 років тому

    Truer words have been rarely said.

  • @jjtheslayer69
    @jjtheslayer69 13 років тому +1

    3:34
    the best quote ever

  • @vikingsfan68
    @vikingsfan68 15 років тому

    My reply remains concerning Hitler: just because he said something is true doesn't make it so. Regarding Islam and 9/11: you are correct. The Church has never blamed 9/11 on Islam. Like Christianity, Islam is not to blame for those who claim to be acting (badly) on its behalf.

  • @oilusboyne
    @oilusboyne 13 років тому

    powerful doug stanhope...

  • @Dreamichigo1
    @Dreamichigo1 12 років тому

    That was beautifully said

  • @BeauJames59
    @BeauJames59 15 років тому

    AMEN! My saying is, if more Christians actually READ the Bible, we'd have fewer Christians............

  • @JCMac777
    @JCMac777 15 років тому

    "If we really don't know right from wrong, then how can there be any correct answer to your example?"
    You seem so confident to know all the answers. Tell me how to solve that moral dilemma then.
    "The underlying premise, which everyone knows and accepts, is that you should try to save innocent life. If some people knew this and others didn't, your example would not be difficult to answer. Any answer would be O.K. if morality were subjective."
    You didn't answer my question at all.

  • @SilvrDragon52
    @SilvrDragon52 13 років тому

    Between 1:05 and 1:23 check out the girl in the white shirt, in the bottom right. It looks like Doug's words are just carving their way into her brain.

  • @davebishopcomedy
    @davebishopcomedy 16 років тому

    ever thought stanhope might not have a show because he doesn't want one?
    since when was being talented a pre-requisite for a tv show or movie? your logic is hillarious

  • @Efreeti
    @Efreeti 16 років тому

    I was referring to how, in a suicide cult, people are actually brainwashed to abandon everyone they care about, and who cares about them, on earth, to go to the "other side" as quickly as possible by committing suicide. My point is that christians have empathy for the people they spend their days with here on earth. I don't think it's paradoxical at all.

  • @ElOmarco
    @ElOmarco 17 років тому

    Doug Stanhope directly from tha Velveeta room! >_

  • @elvis316
    @elvis316 16 років тому

    I cannot get enough of this guy's stuff.
    I don't like to throw around 'genius' to everything I enjoy--but this guy is fn genius.

  • @Benable7
    @Benable7 13 років тому

    Awesome

  • @vikingsfan68
    @vikingsfan68 15 років тому

    Again, if anyone who is part of the Church sins, it is despite, not because of Christian teachings. As far as the good that the Church does: all those Catholic hospitals in the U.S. (St. Jude's, etc), Mother Teresa of Calcutta, Pope John Paul II, Catholic Charities, Boys' Town, the St. Vincent de Paul soup kitchens and shelters, the charity of the Knights of Columbus, etc. These exist because the Church commands us to love our neighbor, especially the poor.

  • @EvilSky55
    @EvilSky55 16 років тому

    Why did they take off word of mouth ? :( Can someone uplodad it again? Its an awesome show.

  • @JCMac777
    @JCMac777 15 років тому

    It is in my self-interest to give blood. I give blood because it is in my self-interest to contribute to the well-being of society.
    I give money to a beggar because it is in my interests to be compassionate towards the needy. I fix a stranger's flat tire, because I can, because I want to, because it is in my self-interest to help out. I adopt a stray dog because it is in my self-interest to be compassionate towards animals. I pray for someone because their welfare is in my interests.

  • @JCMac777
    @JCMac777 15 років тому

    The Church also commanded their flock to wage war against the infidels in a "crusade" and a number of other atrocities they committed. It is not "despite" to tell people to do something that directly contradicts Christian moral teachings. You cannot vindicate the Church with their past actions.

  • @CzarD4iZ0
    @CzarD4iZ0 16 років тому

    Actually, I've seen interviews where islamic militants' parents talk about how proud and happy they are about their son's martyrdom... I think he's making more of a point about hypocrisy.
    And even if you do find his point "dumb", you have to admit that in terms of making people think while they laugh, he is the heir apparent to Rev. Hicks

  • @YouthEnergy
    @YouthEnergy 14 років тому

    This video is open to interpretation.

  • @caricatureparty
    @caricatureparty 12 років тому

    if I were put in a life or death situation and forced to make decisions, certainly I would and those decisions would reflect my belief. I don't know. I don't know what I really believe about this,but ...

  • @Jjmcg112
    @Jjmcg112 13 років тому

    I may be the only Christian Doug Stanhope fan on the face of the Earth. Christianity gets a bad rap because of its shitheads, but don't hate the faith. It is truly beautiful in its essence. I find it humorous that atheists are a group now. They're religion in that they're an anti-religion. And now they identify with each other as atheists. I'm going to start identifying myself by things that I don't believe or do. Anyhow, the Capn' Crunch thing was hilarious.

  • @kaiyeem
    @kaiyeem 14 років тому

    where is his full stand up videos at people

  • @larry149
    @larry149 11 років тому +7

    '72 year sentence on a this shithole planet' lol

  • @caricatureparty
    @caricatureparty 12 років тому

    that's really interesting..I feel like there's a good chance we might have some definitions tangled up. Maybe when I'm saying "to know" I mean to be able to verbalize, or something. Yeah, I guess we know our own thoughts, but maybe I'm equivocating knowing our thoughts with understanding our thoughts.
    So, for instance, if you were to ask me my belief as to the best way to fix a carburetor on a 1989 Dodge Durango, I don't think I would know my belief. I know nothing at all about cars, but..

  • @mussman717word
    @mussman717word 14 років тому

    The last line fucking kills me. I'm Catholic, but I dig this so bad.

  • @vikingsfan68
    @vikingsfan68 15 років тому

    Jesus was not some sort of Red Cross worker. He came for one reason: to save people from their sins. The fact that he healed the blind and sick, and even raised the dead, was small potatoes compared to what he always did at the same time as these healings--forgive sins. He allowed these outward healings only to prove to those who might have doubted that he really was able to forgive sins. All things of this world (equality, aid, etc.) are meaningless if we do not have eternal life later.

  • @dracosummoner
    @dracosummoner 15 років тому

    -> hiimbrady:
    They're "here," excuse my error.
    If I may ask, though -- "celestial sorcerer" ? Were you meaning to imply something with that statement? What were you talking about?

  • @ShroudedInVeilz
    @ShroudedInVeilz 13 років тому

    do you hear the great news? lightning struck my baby.
    hahahaha.