I cat sat for a friend for two weeks and that damn thing would hide and pounce my feet every time I turned the corner. It was like getting pranked all the time.
It's not just my wife then, her lion head is a dick. She thumps when she's mad, is not friendly at all. My wife has spent years working with this rabbit, even bunny proofed a room just for her, so she isn't cage bound. and the damn thing growls, scratches and bites.
I have always loved watching this guy esp in movies he’s just hella funny and a great actor too. He can play a hella funny scene with a straight face while doing it. Funny ass guy he is. Thanks for the laughs through the years. 😊
My cat was asleep in his tent and through the window as soon as Nick made the cat sounds he jumped up and started looking for it hahahahahahaha I'm laughing so hard right now 🤣 according to my cat his cat ready to fight sound is spot on 😂
@john probst they have two tents and they had a tree before it broke and I had to throw it away... In the wild, cats live in caves and the tents are little pop up ones. One has a roof and looks like a little club house and has a toy attached to the inside and the other one you can buy tunnels and other tents to connect them and make a little maze for them to explore. I put blankets and toys in it for them so they have those comforts when I'm not home. They love them and constantly play fight over them
Cats are lesson in nothing. Consent rules only applies to strangers. I shouldn't need a consent a pet my dog or my wife to touch me. Get out of here with that b.s.
Cats are a lesson in abusive relationships. They demand you adhere to their boundaries and whims while having 0 respect for you and yours. That’s not consent that’s an abusive elation ship.
Totally true. I've literally had cats my whole life, and as a kid I got frustrated with them when they wouldn't let me hold them or touch them whenever I wanted. As an adult I eventually learned to respect their boundaries and eventually they'll reward you with their affection. Their scratches will turn to licks.
@@Sam-lm8gi But even their licks are made to be painful, with spiked sandpaper as tongues. And the bigger the species of cat, the bigger the tongue spikes and more painful the licks are.
A dog looks at you and thinks "You give me food and shelter, you must be a god". A cat looks at you and thinks "You give me food and shelter, I must be a god".
@Is really toasty here no. You have no idea what you're talking about. Dogs don't reason the same way humans do, but a properly trained dog does not view its owner as a servant.
Yes, same. I was so meh about getting a cat and now my bff my rider is my cat Smokey. We got him for the kids but naw, he's mine and I am his. It's me and Smokey on one team and my husband and kids on the other.
@@grabbinmylockanddeez1504 yep he's a good cat. My husband gets so irritated because at night if he goes to throw his arm across me he has to snuggle the cat too because Smokey sleeps right square on my chest.
Anyone who has a cat will tell you that cats get over stimulated when you pet them to much. They have to release that adrenaline and you are the closest target.
I had my 3 dogs attack me as I was a teenager trying to sneak out at night. They came out of the dark 1 bite my butt and the other 2 grabbed my ankles until I yelled out ITS ME! I turned on the light and they all put their heads down in shame and acted like it wasn't them.
No dogs love cats cats just don’t love dogs, he’s correct in the first part they actually can have two owners and don’t have any feelings for any body or anyone.
Also humans are supposed to naturally afraid of cats and dogs, but dogs have evolved alongside humans and may have evolved us! cats have also… Evolved a disease to make us love them, it’s called toxoplasmosis
My cat was looking at my phone and looking around trying to figure out where that noise was coming from..lol I think she thought there was another cat in the house
I've never looked at cats the same way after watching the movie with Denzel in it called "Fallen" - they do have that not quite sure how to read them aura going on sometimes
Dude, Fallen is one of my favorite movies of all time. I watched it last month and noticed how many cats were sneaking in and out of small places throughout the movie.
All I can say is this story was hilarious and Nick.. your mom was right, it was definitely your fault! 😂 People love to say “Out of nowhere this cat just flipped out on me.” No honey.. you just can’t speak cat and weren’t listening to the myriad of no’s ahead of the flip out. Animals are nothing if not logical. Too funny though, I was laughing so hard. 😂
I'm a dog person, but I have a cat. He's like my son. Cats are selfish because they're scared. Mine is. Scared of everyone except me. Anyway, every living thing seems selfish compared with dogs. Dogs are the nicest people ever. Ha
Cats aren’t scared, they’re territorial. They don’t like sharing. It’s that simple, your answer is because of you projecting your own feelings on the cat.
@@imoffendedthatyouareoffended I agree. Territorial, selfish, cats are. Just saying my cat is scared of everyone. It's like he loves me so much he doesn't want me to show him off to my friends just in case they like him and want to adopt him. He's that dumb. He shakes and squirms about to run back in to our room to hide just because I was holding him and saying hello to my friends and family. It's become a laughing thing by everyone. So yes, cats are selfish. I have a unique scared one. I didn't mean to sound a cat-ologist.
@@jacquelynpowell7964 actually I found one a year and a half ago. She has saved me from a couple rattlesnakes already. I don't go anywhere without her. Paris the Party Princess ☺️ princess
Lol i absolutely love cats and the two I've had definitely cared about and loved me. But i do see some of the points he makes here lol. The thing is cats don't automatically respect and love you. You have to earn their love. But once you have it, you have it forever.
Here’s the thing: cats I’ve only been domesticated a little around 200 years so they’re kind of still a little wild animals. But this is funny and it’s probably after two 3 AM when they start losing their damn minds in the house. And some cats actually will alert you and protect you. Depends on the cat.
Cats have been domesticated for thousands of years. You mean to say they became household pets around 200 years. It's confusing, but if you research the history of domestic cats, it'll make sense. Not trying to be condescending.
@@darvinmolina6841 my cats and dogs sit at the door until i open it for them to leave, then they sit on the outside and bark or meow, untill i go open it, and they each arrive when they please, i do this everyday. They must be rly happy here. Just saying
The audience responses in the beginning makes most sense to me since most cat people are often introverted so won’t go wild. My cat would never hurt more than a fly tho (he hunts them) he is friends with everyone even his vet gets purrlove from him
Honestly, if you know cats body language you won’t get attacked. People just don’t understand their tells or just ignore them. For example, cats get overstimulated if you pet them for too long. Sometimes they will “bear trap” and bite if you’re petting them. They’re like babies, it just overloads them and they will bite to make you stop because it basically just suddenly becomes painful to be touched. But you can usually tell it’s coming by their body language. They will suddenly tense up, the end of their tail will twitch, they’ll roll on their back with their paws up, their pupils will enlarge, etc.
@@princessaria I had a roommate (not friends anymore) once who loved messing with my cat, he would be too rough with him then get all bitchy when the cat hissed & swiped. "If you're cat scratches me I'm punching it..." "No, if my cat scratches you, it's because you're a fucking idiot who can't recognize a warning." I actually told him that and he got all butthurt, but he left the cat alone after that 😂
I was attacked by my own house cat right after I got home from my 6th grade graduation. I had to have drainage tubes put in my arm and everything. I had him up until he passed away last year. Best cat I've ever had Rip Eore❤️
Nick’s cat sound effects are so accurate. The sounds are making my cat go nutso right now
Mind too!!!
@Piss Muffin 9
My cat was asleep and woke up and started staring at the TV. lol
He does amazing sound effects that really get you immersed in the story...he's incredibly talented!
Same lol
I couldn't stop laughing at how red his face was getting when he was making the cat noise
"Thats not a positive sound"😂😭
C'mon man everyone knows Nick has high blood pressure
Somebody smokes a little.
@@michaelgrimm2121 cocaine is helluva drug
it want even funny dude what
He missed the fact it was nearly 3am, this is when all cats freak out. The witching hour
Is that really a thing ?
3 a.m. when the demons blaspheme and mock 3 p.m. when you know who died on the cross.
The polar opposite.
I was like "Dude, run ... "
All you people are fools
The thing about when Nick tells a story... I can picture what’s happening like it’s a movie
That’s the best part
Yea when he said I was in my boxer briefs I got sick😂😂😂😂
"here's SNOWY!"😂
I didn't even get to video and I fucking laughed at this comment... Lmfao
“No.... you did that” Saw him live and that part got me. Still does 😂
I cat sat for a friend for two weeks and that damn thing would hide and pounce my feet every time I turned the corner. It was like getting pranked all the time.
Lol
I just laughed because of that because my mom's cat did the same thing
He was just guarding his territory
You need to figure out where he hides and just take an extra strong swing of your foot, and just boot his ass when he does that.
When I wake up in the morning still groggy mine would run between my legs trying to trip me. I curse her out every time
My sister had a rabbit named Snowy, and he was a bastard.
standrew Did he do that stomping thing a lot ??? That LITERALLY Terrifies me lol
@@brianjohnson1601 Snowy would jump high in the air, spray people, and dogs, then twist his body, and land down with a THUMP!
Snow bunny
hahahahahhahaha
It's not just my wife then, her lion head is a dick. She thumps when she's mad, is not friendly at all. My wife has spent years working with this rabbit, even bunny proofed a room just for her, so she isn't cage bound. and the damn thing growls, scratches and bites.
for real though cats can be brutal AF
Pocket lion
Lol ,cat hve a 6th sense about ppl .my cats loved me
I’d be an asshole too. The most efficient hunters on the planet and the average cat is 10 lbs. lol.
I patted my moms cat on the ass and it hissed at me and has never been nice to me since. Permanent grudge.
My cat left a birds head on the porch
I absolutely love nick swardson he’s chaotic and hilarious
This is pure comedy gold! I was ROLLING on the floor laughing. Nick Swardson is a legend!
"I think women should use that noise." 😅😅😅😭💀🥀
I think that's actually probably great advice.
I would pay good money to watch that. 😆
I have always loved watching this guy esp in movies he’s just hella funny and a great actor too. He can play a hella funny scene with a straight face while doing it. Funny ass guy he is. Thanks for the laughs through the years. 😊
He was awesome in “Blades of Fury.”
Even I as a cat person still laughed so relatable 😂
Exactly, so did I
Sorry I forgot this entire comment section had toxoplasmosis
@@emmamckay1688 What is that like a mucus period?
@@emmamckay1688 the what now?????????? 😂
@@JohnnySack16 ur weird, upload a video?
My cat was asleep in his tent and through the window as soon as Nick made the cat sounds he jumped up and started looking for it hahahahahahaha I'm laughing so hard right now 🤣 according to my cat his cat ready to fight sound is spot on 😂
@john probst they have two tents and they had a tree before it broke and I had to throw it away... In the wild, cats live in caves and the tents are little pop up ones. One has a roof and looks like a little club house and has a toy attached to the inside and the other one you can buy tunnels and other tents to connect them and make a little maze for them to explore. I put blankets and toys in it for them so they have those comforts when I'm not home. They love them and constantly play fight over them
Haha those cat impressions had me rolling 😂😂
Underrated sounds, distant pissed off cat.
His cat impersonation is HILARIOUS like how is he even making that attack sound? Hilarious😂😂😂
As a cat lover...this is fricken hilarious and absolutely accurate. Saw a meme that says cats are a lesson in consent and its 100%!!😂😂😂
Cats are lesson in nothing. Consent rules only applies to strangers. I shouldn't need a consent a pet my dog or my wife to touch me. Get out of here with that b.s.
Cats are a lesson in abusive relationships. They demand you adhere to their boundaries and whims while having 0 respect for you and yours.
That’s not consent that’s an abusive elation ship.
That toxoplasmosis has done its fair share on you already.
Totally true. I've literally had cats my whole life, and as a kid I got frustrated with them when they wouldn't let me hold them or touch them whenever I wanted. As an adult I eventually learned to respect their boundaries and eventually they'll reward you with their affection. Their scratches will turn to licks.
@@Sam-lm8gi
But even their licks are made to be painful, with spiked sandpaper as tongues. And the bigger the species of cat, the bigger the tongue spikes and more painful the licks are.
Cat's response to machete maniac in your home, "Second door on the right. Can I watch?"
I will, from this moment on, make that noise to any unwanted attention.
But please, actually do it
I use to put up with my weirdo office manager by barking at her...I eventually quit and the business eventually closed.. .lol
A dog looks at you and thinks "You give me food and shelter, you must be a god".
A cat looks at you and thinks "You give me food and shelter,
I must be a god".
@Is really toasty here no. You have no idea what you're talking about. Dogs don't reason the same way humans do, but a properly trained dog does not view its owner as a servant.
@Is really toasty here lol
Lmfao!!
@@JosiahFickinger what like a cats gonna read that and be offended ?😂
@Is really toasty here HA! Somebody hurt you.
This is one of my FAVORITE stand ups of all time!! Nick is HILARIOUS!
That was seriously funny 😂 I really think his stand up is pretty fantastic. I hope he does more of this, like alot more.
I've never seen a good cat, but once I got a cat, hes the perfect frikin cat somehow
Yes, same. I was so meh about getting a cat and now my bff my rider is my cat Smokey. We got him for the kids but naw, he's mine and I am his. It's me and Smokey on one team and my husband and kids on the other.
So you've seen a good cat?💯
@@grabbinmylockanddeez1504 yep he's a good cat. My husband gets so irritated because at night if he goes to throw his arm across me he has to snuggle the cat too because Smokey sleeps right square on my chest.
I felt this
Mine gotta be part dog. He follows me around in 7 acres while I’m checking the other animals. He’s cool.
My cat started angry-moaning as soon as Nick started angry-moaning HAHAHA
Lmfao 😂
He used to crack me up, on Reno 911 because he always broke character and couldn't stop laughing!
he literally never broke character
Proof that people will like any comment on UA-cam if it's worded well enough, even if the comment is complete bullshit.
@@TraumaStage This idiot must be thinking of Jimmy Fallon on saturday night live or something I dunno?
@@JvvdCvvy That's who I thought of right away, don't know how anyone could mistake the two though.
Terry, if you're selling oranges, then where are all of your oranges?
I had a 1 eyed cat named Tom. He was super sweet and followed me everywhere. Only time in my life I was a cat person. Good times.
This remains one of my favorite stand up segments of all time, and I'm a cat guy.
Dogs have masters, cats have staff
exactly why i dont want a cat they're such assholes 😂😂🤣🤣
And cats being useless while dogs being useful
@@veiserexab1428useless how? 🤦♀️just shush
@@trini2DBone134 nah I'm joking
@@veiserexab1428cats hunt house mice but you should’ve gave the finger and stood on your claim bro.
This guy will forever be remembered as Terry from Reno 911.... At least for me.
This guy is so gold please keep him coming
Check out this album! It's pretty great all the way through!
Cat probably was soul gazing him and didn't like what he saw... 🤣
4:37 I’m crying rn this is so hilarious 😭
Shouts out the the spotlight guy for keeping up with nick
Anyone who has a cat will tell you that cats get over stimulated when you pet them to much. They have to release that adrenaline and you are the closest target.
I’m a cat lover, have 3 cats, and 100% agree with everything he’s saying. My cat hates me but when she’s napping she’s cute so
This is a great style of stand-up how he links the stories that flow one after another with cutaways in between.
My cat came to me when he made the cat sound 😂
My dog bailed off the bed and went investigating
And that's why I love cats... 😂
I had my 3 dogs attack me as I was a teenager trying to sneak out at night. They came out of the dark 1 bite my butt and the other 2 grabbed my ankles until I yelled out ITS ME! I turned on the light and they all put their heads down in shame and acted like it wasn't them.
😂😂😆🍻
This made me laugh WAY harder than it probably should have 👀🤣🤣
Good dogs
That means your dogs would be willing to protect your home if an actual intruder came!
Tonight's segment is sponsored by Dogs!
Adam Flores yes
I think so too
No dogs love cats cats just don’t love dogs, he’s correct in the first part they actually can have two owners and don’t have any feelings for any body or anyone.
Also humans are supposed to naturally afraid of cats and dogs, but dogs have evolved alongside humans and may have evolved us! cats have also… Evolved a disease to make us love them, it’s called toxoplasmosis
0:06 SOME GUY HELLA SCREAMED FOR CATS HAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Nick is underrated. Absolutely hilarious 😂
So you’re a cat right, that’s gotta be weird.
😂
As both cat and dog person, this is gold 😂
My cat did not appreciate these cat noises. 😂
My cat was looking at my phone and looking around trying to figure out where that noise was coming from..lol
I think she thought there was another cat in the house
One of the funniest bits ive seen in a LONG time.
Damn you. I was having lunch. The food came out of my nose when he started the cat attack.
You can feel that in your soul from the dog… NICK! NICK! NICK! Real tears 😂
Animal control is actually local sheriff around here 🤣 Great show!
😂 My kitty, sleeping at my feet, perked up with concern when the "crazy cat sound happened 😂😂
Cats were worshiped as gods in ancient Egypt, they have not forgotten this fact
@Quantum Man The Photonic Mastermind! Anubis
@Quantum Man The Photonic Mastermind! he was
@@death3678 An arbitrary distinction!
One the Egyptians likely didn’t make.
People in Egypt might have had toxoplasmosis...
An same with a dungbeattle
Minnesota represent!
My favorite nick moment was in the benchwarmers when he squirts the sun screen in his mouth because he’s terrified of the sun lol
..."And a ski mask?! That guy's not going skiing." lol🐶👍
I've never looked at cats the same way after watching the movie with Denzel in it called "Fallen" - they do have that not quite sure how to read them aura going on sometimes
Dude, Fallen is one of my favorite movies of all time. I watched it last month and noticed how many cats were sneaking in and out of small places throughout the movie.
Yes, and a cat would be the perfect vessel for a spirit like that to chill out in
Such an awesome humorous human being !
Lmao I love his bro voice when he meets the cat
Funny af
I love Nick. Grew up on his movies and comedy. Gradmas Boy for life.
I have a guard cat. She doesn’t like strangers.
Hopefully she warms up after she gets to know them....
4:48 this is why I love Nick! 😂😂😂
Loved him in grandmas boy.
This bit is accurate🤣
im taking hits from this dab every time he touches his face
smh
You high asl😭😭😭
You know this is just old clips right...
Are you in the same dimension anymore?
I don’t disagree. My kitty...I love her but she’s a demanding little diva
All I can say is this story was hilarious and Nick.. your mom was right, it was definitely your fault! 😂 People love to say “Out of nowhere this cat just flipped out on me.” No honey.. you just can’t speak cat and weren’t listening to the myriad of no’s ahead of the flip out. Animals are nothing if not logical.
Too funny though, I was laughing so hard. 😂
My cat is my best friend in this time of self isolation
@Captain Caveman: "its", CaveMan.
And you don't know Cats.
Ditto! PumaLUV!!! >^.^
@Captain Caveman you've obviously never had a cat
How old are you. Be honest, there's n S at the end of cat, right.
@@4Mikes4Mindset4 To whom is this directed? And why the lack of punctuation and spelling?
Just curious. (as a Cat. ;-) )
His cat noises freaked out my cat😂😂
I'm a dog person, but I have a cat. He's like my son. Cats are selfish because they're scared. Mine is. Scared of everyone except me.
Anyway, every living thing seems selfish compared with dogs.
Dogs are the nicest people ever. Ha
Cats are just selfish period
Cats aren’t scared, they’re territorial. They don’t like sharing. It’s that simple, your answer is because of you projecting your own feelings on the cat.
@@imoffendedthatyouareoffended I agree. Territorial, selfish, cats are. Just saying my cat is scared of everyone. It's like he loves me so much he doesn't want me to show him off to my friends just in case they like him and want to adopt him. He's that dumb.
He shakes and squirms about to run back in to our room to hide just because I was holding him and saying hello to my friends and family. It's become a laughing thing by everyone.
So yes, cats are selfish. I have a unique scared one. I didn't mean to sound a cat-ologist.
That part with his mom was awesome bahahha!!!
Lol this reminds me of Pablo Francisco with the cat noises and the voice
His cat pre-attack sound is spot on!!😂😂
I got attacked and chased into a shower, while tripping
If you are tripping and you pet an animal there is a chance you will get them high assuming you are talking about drugs of course
By a dog!
@@ThaArabScarab no, no there isn't LMFAO
@@jacquelynpowell7964 actually I found one a year and a half ago. She has saved me from a couple rattlesnakes already. I don't go anywhere without her. Paris the Party Princess ☺️ princess
"If you have a dog to adore you, you must have a cat to ignore you"
😂 lol I can relate, had a damn cat attack my face when I was 4
What did you do to provoke him?
Possibly the greatest stand up bit in history 👑
Nick always plays himself in movies.
Cats: "Kneel before me mortal." 🐱
Us: "Oh! Kitty kitty kittyyyy!" 😆
A domesticated cat would attack the human if they were the size of a mountain lion. So true
If cats were only the size of mountain lions, they would never be domesticated in the first place.
"And Nick's fucking dead"😂😂😂
Lol i absolutely love cats and the two I've had definitely cared about and loved me. But i do see some of the points he makes here lol.
The thing is cats don't automatically respect and love you. You have to earn their love. But once you have it, you have it forever.
3:01 you can see his face go red then back to white lmao
I do the meow sound when creeps hit on me in bars
"i dont know how you meet a cat like, Its snowy right?" - lmao i busted out laughing
Was he singing 'Faithfully' there for a sec?
“Highway run...”
Yup, guess what I'm listening to when this video is over
This guy is one of the funniest people alive imo
Here’s the thing: cats I’ve only been domesticated a little around 200 years so they’re kind of still a little wild animals. But this is funny and it’s probably after two 3 AM when they start losing their damn minds in the house. And some cats actually will alert you and protect you. Depends on the cat.
Cats have been domesticated for thousands of years. You mean to say they became household pets around 200 years. It's confusing, but if you research the history of domestic cats, it'll make sense. Not trying to be condescending.
3:47 "Shits going down over there" 💀💀
Check out cat saves a boy from a dog attack
I did see that. That was unbelievable. That cat deserves a medal
There are always exceptions, never seen prisioners save prision guards?
@@ReallyTY4Real ever seen a dog save a kid from a random cat trying to drag him away and probably eat him alive?
You think your pets love you, leave the door open and find out lol...
@@darvinmolina6841 my cats and dogs sit at the door until i open it for them to leave, then they sit on the outside and bark or meow, untill i go open it, and they each arrive when they please, i do this everyday.
They must be rly happy here.
Just saying
Best standup I heard in a very LOOONG time
Love this special, leave it to Nick Swardson to dedicate 10 minutes to talking about a cat 🤣
“This is why cats are assholes.”, is my favorite line.
The audience responses in the beginning makes most sense to me since most cat people are often introverted so won’t go wild. My cat would never hurt more than a fly tho (he hunts them) he is friends with everyone even his vet gets purrlove from him
Honestly, if you know cats body language you won’t get attacked. People just don’t understand their tells or just ignore them.
For example, cats get overstimulated if you pet them for too long. Sometimes they will “bear trap” and bite if you’re petting them. They’re like babies, it just overloads them and they will bite to make you stop because it basically just suddenly becomes painful to be touched. But you can usually tell it’s coming by their body language. They will suddenly tense up, the end of their tail will twitch, they’ll roll on their back with their paws up, their pupils will enlarge, etc.
@@princessaria I had a roommate (not friends anymore) once who loved messing with my cat, he would be too rough with him then get all bitchy when the cat hissed & swiped. "If you're cat scratches me I'm punching it..."
"No, if my cat scratches you, it's because you're a fucking idiot who can't recognize a warning."
I actually told him that and he got all butthurt, but he left the cat alone after that 😂
@@sonicdoesfrontflips Yeah apart from when you weren't in the house I bet.
That guys not going skiing best line
I was attacked by my own house cat right after I got home from my 6th grade graduation. I had to have drainage tubes put in my arm and everything. I had him up until he passed away last year. Best cat I've ever had Rip Eore❤️
Good compression level on that mic. Sounds great even on the screams.
3:10 it's kinda disturbing to me how fast he changes colors
The alcoholism and cocaine addiction must be a quite a doosey
He does the angry upset cat noise well. Took my cat a moment to realize it wasn't really a cat and he wasn't about to fight.
I thought this was Todd Chrisley but with a deeper voice, lmao
I love Nick! He was so awesome in Reno 911 :)