1. stop focusing on the outcome 2. take things slow 3. give her your full attention 4. having meaningful conversations 5. eye contact - non verbal communication 6. shared experiences and interest 7. emotional attraction BONUS: take care of yourself (hygiene, how you dress, etc)
Thanks. Her advice, like many other channels give general advice like this in mass. Not even worth watching the video. Rather read comments like these. 👍
Good advice. No games or manipulation. Just basic human communication between a man and a woman that we have all set aside in favour of “winning someone over”
@BROCKATRON Literally everything you said is wrong and is just you being bitter. For starters the fact that you think literally every woman thinks the same xD.
@BROCKATRON If those women exist how can you say that "In 2022 that wont work" when you are openly now admitting that those women exist? "Every woman like that is in a relationship" Are you saying that every single woman who is a "Good Woman" and doesn't play games is in a relationship regardless of age... what a ridiculous sentiment.
@@derrick2251 No - It seems like you guys are just bitter. The fact that his entire statement was contradictory and also implied that every single woman who isn't in a relationship currently is a POS. The only people who cannot accept the truth are you guys.
I had a feeling you'd do a video on this at some point. If everyone can relax, chill, pace yourselves, and not follow toxic dating advice, I can almost guarantee that there be less frustration and resentment in dating
Best lesson ever in my life on that topic was: no matter what you do or feel for a girl, always be cool, relaxed, and nice. Act with no emotional weight towards her. No matter whats the outcome (you end up dating her or not), it will be the best possible, because you will not be viewed as needy or immature. You will be the guy who is easy and nice to be around. Dont listen to those idiots telling you to be a jerk alpha... Be nice to people, be warm, and forget about the results. That mindset only brought me wonderful things in life.
@@FF-bj4nq I'm sorry about that. But if doing exactly what I said you havent seen anything good in return yet, imagine if you were acting needy or being a alpha jerk instead... :/ But what I said has nothing to do with "secrets to hook up with tons of girls". What I said is about getting the best social results possible with who you are and what you have. And I say so because I don't think attraction has anything to do with "acting alpha" or "being a jerk"... It just happens. The moment a girl looks at you for the first time, she will find you attractive or not. That's it. My opinion. I totally respect yours, if it's different.
@@weirdversions The fact for me is that the alpha jerks have both girls and overall better social results. Well there are girls attracted to me but they end up with alpha jerks. I am nice and considerate to almost everyone and don't need anyone, but hardly get any close friend or girl. People take kindness as weakness that's what they say. Jerks can easily get along with other jerks while nice people are isolated. But don't feel sorry, cuz I chose to be this kind of guy like you did, and I don't care about results anymore :) Hope you keep getting wonderful results
At the end of the day and also what Rollo Tomasi says, "Attraction can never be negotiated." You either feel the connection for one another, or you don't.
Women deploy mating strategies and decide which men they want to have sex with. So it's pointless to chase women. Women will let you know they are interested in you, you just need to learn the signs and signals that they send. No woman is worth chasing. Pursue the best you, that you can be, stay busy, and women will show interest in you, when you have a little bit of spare time.
@@sebswede9005 that's cool but then why do you watch these videos? I don't think you can try to feel connection, but you can try to build one. What reward do you get from the attempt?
@@passattdise That is why I said that as I don't chase women. From my own personal experience, I have found the women that have met have had passionate burning desire and want to be with me. It is either you feel a, "Hell yeah!" Or walk away when it is a, "Feck no!"
I think undivided attention like love is becoming an all-to-rare commodity/resource. Each of us only have a limited supply and I think, for the most part, everyone needs to start getting a lot more choosy about who/what we expend that limited resource on.
Yes Ma'am! All of these points are good ways to not only build, but keep the attraction going. My favorite is at 5:10 Eye Contact/ Nonverbal communication... I'm getting better at eye contact in conversations and I'm an expressive person, so usually it shows in how my body is positioned, head movements, facial expressions, etc. I'm also picking up on how people Express their own body language. I would still like to Communicate vocally though, but it's something that is important. Everything will happen Naturally if you're interested...
The cruel reality is that attraction is either there or not within the first 2 seconds of looking at someone. If a wiman is attracted to you, trust me you will know. She'll constantly be looking at you and trying to make eye contact, therefore it'll happen anyways. If she's unattracted to you, she'll avoid eye contact like the plague and when it does happen, she'll quickly look somewhere else. Most of these tips and videos assume a base level of attraction to begin with. If it's not there, it cannot simply be created with tips, tools, and tricks.
@@thecommenter9267 I disagree. Sometimes striking and maintaining a Conversation can be enough to build a foundation of attraction. If it's based on looks then the foundation is weak and will crumble when a problem is Presented. It was never a reality in the first place. I've had some people, in Successful relationships, tell me that at the time they met their Spouse, They weren't even looking. Things need to happen Naturally to build and keep attraction, It's not always about looks.
@@Bigtank9401 It depends on how you define relationship. I, too, have seen successful couples where physical attraction was not the foundation of the relationship, and that's completely fine. However, for me, a romantic relationship MUST have physical intimacy. In those relationships you're referring to, yes they can be happy and lasting, however, from what I've heard from those people and experienced myself, there is little to no physical intimacy involved. If that's what you'd consider a successful relationship (essentially a lasting friendship), then sure.
@@thecommenter9267 Physical intimacy has little to do with looks(Which was your initial reply was about) . There are a Number of ways to be intimate with a woman, including Talking/Listening, Comforting, caring, empathy, etc. That's why Successful couples have success. We have to be there Physically, Mentally and Emotionally for it to last(Vice Versa too)... In other words, You have to be that "Best Friend" type. It's not about how one defines Relationship over the other, We know what a Romantic Relationship is. What matters is how we keep building throughout our lives.
Courtney you have no idea how much you help me and I'm sure 1000 other guys say the exact same thing. Thanks for all your videos you go into really good detail about everything you talk about and it makes sense to us. Keep doing you Court!
I honestly just come to Courtney‘s channel because it relaxes me. Some people go to the spa some people go to the gym, and although I do those things there is nothing like Courtney‘s truths! Oh and the background music too haha
Remember before following any of this advice, work on yourself first. Putting it bluntly, if you’re ugly and have nothing going on for yourself, no dating or attraction advice video will ever work for you. - How to not be ugly in a few steps - Take care of your skin, brush your teeth / floss twice daily and use some white strips if you have yellow teeth, workout 3-5 times a week, get into the habit of having excellent hygiene (I.e shower daily and keep yourself well groomed) find yourself a good daily cologne, get well fitted clothing and a better wardrobe. Once you take care of yourself, everything else comes naturally. It’s hard to be considered an unattractive man if you’re doing all of the above. I don’t care if you’re 5 ft tall or have a micro pecker, someone will find you attractive, but only if you fix the things you can fix. I don’t want to hear the bull shit “oh she only wants a guy that’s 6 feet tall and a chad.” We are men, and a real man don’t make excuses, we make the best out of what we have. No amount of complaining will make you more desirable to women. That’s all I got to say, too many black pilled weirdos in the comments.
When you’re blackpilled, all you think about is how you’re doomed and nothing will work, but that is probably the most counterproductive and unattractive trait you can have. Your thoughts go to how there is no hope instead of to actually trying to improve your appearance and focus on your goals and ambitions. Probably from too much internet use I guess
All the advice on your channel is everything I wish I knew 15 years ago. Even as a married 35 year old I still find great value in the advice as it applies to my relationship with my wife.
Courtney, you Must have read my mind. The timing of this topic is perfect. I'm in the very process you are discussing of rekindling a long time friend ship with a beautiful lady from my church and I'm am following your examples as best I know how. This dear sweet lady deserves it .thank you, as always.
Thanks for this video Courtney. I watch a lot of diverse content on UA-cam, but yours is one of the few channels that seem to have dating framed in a healthy way. We seem to be lacking honest communication now and days and just letting things flow.
It’s very interesting that the same advice can be said in two different ways with drastically different consequences. Courtney’s first advice here sounds like what some “game” youtubers would say “Be the buyer, not the seller, so you convey high value and make it seem like she’s the one who needs to impress you”. However, while you might be doing the same thing on the outside, the underlying mentality will have a huge impact on how well and genuinely you do it and how it’s going to lead the relationship on the long run. The same can be said for other points Thanks Courtney for shedding some healthy light on the youtube dating community
The whole "game" element is so overplayed. The whole concept of "building attraction" is not really how it works. It's possible with hard work, yes, but the much more likely scenario is that attraction is either there or not there within the first 2 seconds of her laying eyes on you. If she's attracted, almost everything you do from that point will be viewed in a positive light and if she's unattracted, it'll feel like you can't win no matter what you do.
i needed this . thank you i’ve been working on myself for months but i want to attract certain kinds of women but they don’t seem interested, thank you for this !!!
I like the first point of not being outcome-oriented because that's something that we all tend to be fixated on. Just go in with an open mind and no preconceived notions. Try meeting new people and see where it goes, but don't treat the interaction like a business plan. Also, closing the touch barrier is pivotal and is something that should be added on this list. You can be the most suave guy and say all the right things, but you have to be able to get physical (assuming it's socially appropriate, of course) to escalate the relationship beyond the platonic stage.
I'm cool with taking things slow and letting it build naturally, but I'm also terrible at reading signs and finding the right moments to make a move. So, for me, it's either make a move at the wrong time or wait and wait for a signal that I never see.
This advice would have really helped me in the 90’s when i was in high school or college but todays world is fast paced and females don’t reciprocate the attention because the social media is saturated with other guys getting her attention
Taking it slow with women will lead to rejection and the friendzone since women a) have a million other options and can't wait despite what they claim b) will punish you for not taking action and complain about you being too passive c) will assume you won't like them Many men would like to take it slow but women actually force them to do the opposite.
Honestly, pacing isn't as much a concern as people make it out to be. The single biggest factor is attraction, and the wimen will decide if the relationship happens or not. If she's attracted to you, it's very difficult to mess up unless you're trying to. Once attraction is achieved, slow pacing will be looked at favorably ("oh he's respectful and taking his time!") and so will fast pacing ("he's so direct and confident!").
I agree with that Mitul! Lol Confidence is probably the #1 thing you’ll need before you approach any woman… Also you need to have no agenda, just relax, and talk to her like a human being - because women are people, whether you choose to believe that, or not! Lol But seriously, behave around her like you would with your friends, that way - she’ll let her guard down, and perhaps, let you get to know her! Just remember, it’s your job to put her mind at ease, if you can do that - amazing things will start to happen! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
Really neat Tips, i feel like i have been applying this more and more over the years but i still feels nice to hear about this in a video, You´re awesome!
Very true. It’s such a beautiful feeling and it’s before any achievement really. You are giving very very important bits of info here. Good job, I’m so proud of you Also making the conversation an “us” instead of you or they. Also creating things exclusive to both. Anchors
Dominance is key at all times. Influence and Manipulation on women is the best power you can gain from them, no matter what you say. Women don't wanna be controlled. But, everyday they control us. They say they don't, but, the truth just burns they're hearts out. Sadly.
Thank you Courtney I have had alot of trouble just communicating with people as a whole and your videos have really helped me out alot I really do appreciate the effort you put in which is why I have subbed to your channel have a great day and thank you again ☺️
This was pretty good advice. Be yourself and allow the other to be themselves and both will soon find if there is any connection. Having an emotional IQ is also very important. This IQ can be developed to a higher point of understanding. This is often an area men need help in to cultivate. Just don't imagine things that are not there by honestly seeing what your seeing/hearing...no rose coloured glasses.
This is great advice to become great friends with a girl! Just friends, not building attraction. This is very dangerous advice to get caught in that friend zone.
its a balance make a move on the second date first if its going good. if you dont make a move then you will be put into the friend zone. if she says no on 2nd then try on a third if your desperate or ditch and go find another chick.
Going on a second date tonight with a girl. I haven't been too interested in dating, more interested in working on myself. This girl seems very genuine and positive. The issue I find is that she has never dated longer than 4 month, also back in school for her degree and living with her parents. I thought maybe after this date, I should let her know that she should be focusing on herself right now (also I'm worried about dating someone that's never been in a longterm relationship). What are your thoughts Courtney?
Context is everything here. I wouldn't judge her just because she hasn't dated longer than 4 months. Now, if she's had 20 relationships, all ending under 4 months, then of course that's a huge red flag. On the other hand, if she's young and has only been in 2 relationships, both under 4 months, then that's reasonable, especially if she's still a student. No need to give someone a hard time for something like that if it's not warranted. Also, observe her overall demeanor. Does she look and act promiscuous, ADHD, loose, etc.? If so, then think about it a little more, if she's a normal girl, I wouldn't really think too much about it.
Not really fair to judge someone who hasn’t been in a long term relationship. Everyone’s gotta start somewhere! I know for me it always made me feel bad when I thought about how I had never had a long term relationship. I definitely wanted one, but I started dating later in life due to personal health related reasons. Sucked when someone judged me for not having experience. Had a great time with the girls afterwards who didn’t and we ended up having healthy relationships. Don’t project that kind of expectation on someone. Just focus on if you’re having a good time.
Not dating longer than 4 months doesn't mean anything to be honest, thats normally around the time you find out things dont work - Also you are implying that its all on her... the Majority of times its not. Give her a chance, you are on a second date... you can't be telling someone "You need to work on yourself" like what is that? If you are that worried for future reference, ask someone about it - Its really not that big a deal and you may find it ease's things for you a little.
It’s an odd feeling to me that these are things that I have believed were important and that they didn’t seem to be for a few years or more.?. Thank you for reinforcing positive principles back into our lives from your platform.
"Meaningful conversations" can be a form of mindgame. Anyone can pretend to care. Some couples are just ok with being around with one another, and that's ok.
Hello Courtney. Love your content. Learning a lot about what I was doing wrong & working on myself now to become a better man, for the woman I eventually want in my life. Still have things I need to work on 😊😊😊 just want to say thanks. Subscribed & waiting for the next gem you drop ❤️❤️❤️
These all seem like natural things that come to me. I was watching other videos where they put so much pressure on having to create sexual tension, have to kiss them otherwise they will see you as a "beta". Glad I found one that brings me back to when it was simpler and not overthink these things.
Harsh truth: for some women these tips Courtney has given won't be enough for them but the key is don't get discouraged. Let this information guide you in the picking the best mate possible don't get discouraged about how many times you lose but rather feel encouraged more to win.
@DrRobotnik Nah mate you just came on here to whinge and pretend you are "Sigma" and how "I dont need women" when reality - you couldn't get a woman even if you did jump through hoops lol.
@DrRobotnikYes Sigmund Freud the austrian Psychologist? Are you trying to imply I have an oedipus complex because Im not a bitter loser pretending to be "Sigma" like you xD. Oh wait no... you are just pretending you are a genius "Sigma" who don't need no women. Meanwhilst goes on dating videos to whine about how awful they are xD. If you were truly "Sigma" bro surely you wouldn't be here whinging xD. Later.
I think one of the main reasons men tend to neglect or place emotional attraction secondary is also a societal thing too. Most men are taught not to have emotions or be intimate or cry because it’s weak. It’s “soft”. I think we’re all getting better about it and it’s acceptance now but I do still think it plays a huge part. Not to discard responsibility, we are all responsible to teach ourselves healthy ways of living and coping mechanisms to be clear.
Yes Courtney im confident when im with a women that she will be into me now I have to make sure she's good with me. Yes I stare into her eyes talk to her let her know my intentions meaningful conversation but I knew this 🤔
Asterisk- *this advice only works if you are a SMV 8 or higher. I.e.- If you are an '8' giving a woman attention is 'attractive' if you are a '5'? Giving a woman attention is creepy and simp-like.
Thanks so much for this advice i just hope its not too late too try and fix things ive been doing the texting too much thing and felt our relationship strain 😥
i have a problem with number 2. Courtney said dont text her or ask her hangout everyday so how long do i have to wait to do any of these because she doenst text me at all. i only had 1 hangout and thats it. should i just do what Courtney said and dont text her and ask for hangouts?
You know, it struck me that the reason a lot of guys seem to struggle with the idea of emotional attraction isn't that they don't feel emotions as strongly as women but more that men get shamed for their emotions by society just like how women get shamed for their sexuality. It basically means a lot of men never learn to understand their own emotions and can't see the strength there is in sharing their genuine feelings with another and thus they struggle to go deep and connect emotionally with the women they date because they don't want to appear weak when in fact not wanting to appear weak is itself a form of weakness. I think a lot of guys stuff down their emotions and forget that their emotions can propel them forward in life to achieve their goals and be the man they want to be. The issue really is in understanding the difference between being vulnerable and being needy and recognising that being able to express your emotions authentically is actually a source of true masculine strength. After all, if you have tamed your own demons and can connect at a deep emotional level with a woman I'm guessing she'll sense the emotional strength that rests within you and realise that you can provide her with some of that emotional strength when she's facing the great existential problems of life.
A few months ago I went on a first date with a girl who was rushing things way too fast (she hugged me, kissed me all over my face and lips). Within the first few days of texting, she proclaimed her love multiple times and called me endearing terms (e.g darling, honey). Would you all say that this is a red flag as she might have had an ulterior motive in mind? When she proclaimed her love, called me endearing terms and was intimate with me, I actually felt the same way about her so I reciprocated. Was that the right move or should I have run for the hills?
Awesome video!!! Can you make a video about giving advice to high functioning autistic men. I noticed a lot of confident women going out with the shy and weak guy that that they can control. I feel as if those are the men (high functioning autism) that have trouble communicating and reading between the lines. Yet women still prefer them because they are very honest and that they can never hurt them. I can’t really say much, but you have a greater audience to mention this too. So if you can give us advice for high functioning autistic men and dating that would be a life changer!!! Thank you 😊
I think the things you say, are, precise, and modern. Alot of things men do not, know. Your pose, calm composer entertain, your words Give thought, and precision. Love watching you. Much Love too you. 🍯🌹
Courtney, I am curious. I have never been married and I do not have any children. I'm slightly conservative. I read books and I have a hobby. How can an older man like myself find my soulmate during a pandemic? I take Zoom classes, but still no luck. Is there anyway that I can be mentored? What are your thoughts?
Do you have enough of the required Locus of Control/Attention Span to give away in a relationship to a woman? Or is overwork, or some other diversion causing you to falter in your desire to give full attention to your love interest?
Hi Courtney! i would like to have a question that you havent covered, but interest me a lot, and it would be great to hear your advice. Its somewhat relates to this video as well (maybe). so whats your oppinion on shemag? (arab scarf) does it look good on guys, or its not somthing women want to see? Thank you
If she doesn’t like you for you, notice her vibe you can tell if she doesn’t care for you, and if you don’t feel a connection or a vibe from her move on, she will show if she into or not
How do you make attraction happen naturally while at work? Barely started talking to a girl that caught my eye at work. I cant necessarily say I like her just yet but she is interesting, feminine and fun to talk too. I do feel attracted to her physically aswell but I'm not sure if I want to date her, so for now I just talk to her briefly when I see her at work. I haven't asked her out or for her phone number yet because I've rushed things before in the past and has never worked. Have only been talking at work for a few weeks. When do I ask for the phone number or date? Dont want to take things too slow either.
First, evaluate whether or not you actually want to engage in a relationship with someone from the workplace. I personally avoid this completely as I've seen lots of drama unfold in the past and it can potentially make for a very uncomfortable working experience (whether it works out or not). If you do want to move forward, you should try to pull her into a non-work setting. The best way to do this would be to plan for a time for you and a bunch of colleagues (including her) to get some drinks after work. While getting drinks, you guys all have fun, get closer, complain about your bosses, etc. and bond. Next step, once you're sufficiently close, is to invite her to do something with just the two of you. One instance I've found successful is when Malcolm Gladwell came to town for a book signing, and this person asked a female colleague if she wanted to go with him (since they both liked Gladwell). Once you are together at this event 1 on 1, this is when you make your move. Obviously, I can't tell you when exactly to ask for her number or how to do it as you'll have to read the situation and her body language, but this would roughly be the series of steps to take to get closer to your female colleague.
@@thecommenter9267 appreciate the reply and I will give this a shot. Right now its just casual conversation with some flirting/ teasing. Im just seeing it as an opportunity to get to know her like Courtney said. So im trying to play it cool while showing some interest. I dont think a relationship not working would really affect me much as I'm pretty unbothered by peoples opinions and if it got too bad I wouldn't have a hard time finding another job. I like your strategy as it seems more casual for getting to know her outside of work and to see if I would like to get to know her on a personal one on one level.
I don't no if the slow stuff works because I keep seeing men that rush things that women over a men like me that dose take things slowly . If take things slowly she might end up meeting some else some where else or on line? I have also tried that faster approuch but that has not worked eather so might be just deppend on the women?
This is a great healthy perspective on building attraction Courtney 😊✌🏽♥️. Looks do play a factor in it tho. However, all a guy can do is present the best version of himself. Don't ask questions that the answer results in a yes during a conversation. I definitely think showing interest in what a woman likes, is passionate about and things she put time into. Remember it's not just you doing everything. A woman should be trying to contribute and impress you too. Just have fun and don't text so much. Let a woman experience your personality in person or over a voice/video call. Don't be all up on her social media 24/7 either.
Georgio, great observation. The common sense part of me says the lady should be trying to contribute also. But sadly this never happens. The man is being tested from moment one. He is expected to carry the date and keep things interesting. On the flip side she believes she only has to show up. "Men display, Women choose"
When you've just met someone and you've conversed a bit (small talk out of the way) and you feel the energy or "Vibe" receding, you are struggling a bit to keep conversation on automatic, I do this: Face to face, ask her to tell the story, (describe), of a very exciting/strange/scary/astonishing moment of her life, of something she experienced in person, real time. Have a few of your own favorites in cue. If she balks or is a little hesitant, offer to go first. Stories of awe, fear, excitement, (avoid sad or gross stories here). Like the time you almost drown, a wild car wreak you saw or were in, extreme weather you've witnessed, have you seen a UFO, a ghost, an explosion, etc. Any kind of whoa, what the F? moments. Anything that you can tell in an animated, adrenaline infused way. The energy of your story should cause a bump in adrenaline in her. It will encourage more energetic conversation, lift the vibe and the attraction factor. This works well to energize a waning conversation.. One story leads to another and you usually find you have some similar experiences.
Courtney you make a video on how to talk to a girl at school. For example say she’s in you class, what’s kind of things should us guys talk about and when would be the right time to ask for the number
Talk naturally see where the conversation takes you, take it slow and don't bomb them with attention See if she's receptive and bring up going out outside of school Don't pair up after a date either stay your own man
@@Beingtomframpton Don't ask for her number unless you've built at least some type of warm connection first. The worst thing is when these so called "pick-up artists" keep talking about cold approaches. Cold approaches are completely ineffective in the modern era. I'd start by seeing if there's another male person in the class who is her friend. Befriend him, and then slowly integrate into the circle. You have to understand that most wimen will have their guard up in an initial interaction. Therefore, you need to acquire "social proof" by associating with someone she is comfortable with first. That being said, if you don't have the time or ability to integrate into someone else's circle first, you can perhaps start by making a light joke about what a professor said in class and then slowly talk to her more and more as you continue to have classes. After a while, she'll be comfortable enough with you to have a 1 on 1 conversation, and then naturally the "phone number" topic will come up anyways. Let me know if this makes sense.
@@thecommenter9267 walking up to a lady in the street or at the bar isn't ineffective tho like that's cold approaching and introducing yourself is necessary in nearly every situation It's almost never a "cold" approach as women have already spotted you and made a judgement in most cases For the OP tho like yous are in class I'm guessing your familiar with eachother? No need to overthink it, paralysis by analysis
@@Beingtomframpton Introducing yourself to someone, assuming a situation that requires or is conducive to random introductions (e.g., and industry conference) is fine, but walking up to a lady in the street with zero context (what I would define as the cold approach) is completely ineffective. Wimen are naturally wary and suspicious of men that approach them out of nowhere and unless you are incredibly good looking, you are almost certainly going to be categorized as a creep, stalker, or scammer. In the past, cold approaches were more accepted because this was one of the few ways to meet wimen. With the advent of dating apps and social media, there are other more accepted ways of connecting with people which allow for a baseline vetting process, and therefore, the truly cold approach is now completely obsolete and looked at as scary or creepy.
Why was my girl tired on the 2nd and 3rd date when she clearly works night shift??? I (33) male met this great, introverted, shy catholic school girl (28) that has a heart of gold. We met online and texted for 2 months and talked alot, we both brought up religion, jobs, school, childhood etc... because of covid. Eventually we met we hugged and smiled and chatted a bit and played darts... I told her she looks pretty and she gave me a smirk smile and compliment the way I was looking. We were just catching up on what we were talking about on our text messages. However, near the end, I swept her off her feet and held her like a baby for a photo, she smiled big for the camera. When we walked outside, I said I normally don't kiss on the first date and said "well, come here" and when I went in, she turned her head where I kissed her cheek/hair... it was awkward, but I played it off like it was nothing... We said our byes and 1 hour later she texted me wanting to see me that weekend with heart eye emojis. On our second date, things ended not that great. We played arcades, then bowling, then pool. I saw her, and hugged and said "I didn't know there were two entrances" (I gave her no compliment and she dolled up, too) She had a big smile. fast forward "Stay here while I get our tokens" (she stayed, but eventually followed me
Masha Allah - Wow! I thought I was going to roast you ; being a former "Playa" and super busy guy right now :) the advice is great; Be Present, No Agenda, Pay Full Attention, have a real conversation (especially if you're into her which means save these conversations for girls you're interested in), and do things you "both enjoy" ...I got nothing but kudos and respect for your advice - Nice INFO sister.
I'm NOT an expert... but from what I understand, the woman decides *immediately* if she likes you "like dat." So, the idea of "building" attraction doesn't make any sense. And, if I have ANY doubt or confusion if she likes me "like dat," that means she doesn't. It IS, or it ISN'T happens immediately ...and there's no way to change it, or "build" it.
Behave like them, try to groom or keep them around as consolation rewards lot of them. Over time, with luck, if they see or understand you are a good choice, it "may" work. Of course, it is morally bankrupt to pursue 5 or 10 women at the same time, but they can choose 20 differents guys a day without doing any efforts.
Certainly a contrast to what play with fire talks about. I'm not talking about Mind Games. I'm talking about letting things happen naturally. I not saying its too literal. Its just a minor contrast I noticed. Which I find interesting.
1. stop focusing on the outcome
2. take things slow
3. give her your full attention
4. having meaningful conversations
5. eye contact - non verbal communication
6. shared experiences and interest
7. emotional attraction
BONUS: take care of yourself (hygiene, how you dress, etc)
Thanks. Her advice, like many other channels give general advice like this in mass. Not even worth watching the video. Rather read comments like these. 👍
@BROCKATRON agreed
@@yme3267 No problem bro!
Thanks for time saver. She has good intentions, but girls will never tell you what they really want. She is no unicorn sadly.
One should be 7 and 7 number 2.
Good advice. No games or manipulation. Just basic human communication between a man and a woman that we have all set aside in favour of “winning someone over”
Now try convincing the Alpha Chads and Queens that this is worthwhile in any shape or form.
@BROCKATRON Oh hey look an Incel in the wild xD
@BROCKATRON Literally everything you said is wrong and is just you being bitter.
For starters the fact that you think literally every woman thinks the same xD.
@BROCKATRON
If those women exist how can you say that "In 2022 that wont work" when you are openly now admitting that those women exist?
"Every woman like that is in a relationship" Are you saying that every single woman who is a "Good Woman" and doesn't play games is in a relationship regardless of age... what a ridiculous sentiment.
@@derrick2251 No - It seems like you guys are just bitter. The fact that his entire statement was contradictory and also implied that every single woman who isn't in a relationship currently is a POS.
The only people who cannot accept the truth are you guys.
I had a feeling you'd do a video on this at some point. If everyone can relax, chill, pace yourselves, and not follow toxic dating advice, I can almost guarantee that there be less frustration and resentment in dating
Best lesson ever in my life on that topic was: no matter what you do or feel for a girl, always be cool, relaxed, and nice. Act with no emotional weight towards her. No matter whats the outcome (you end up dating her or not), it will be the best possible, because you will not be viewed as needy or immature. You will be the guy who is easy and nice to be around. Dont listen to those idiots telling you to be a jerk alpha... Be nice to people, be warm, and forget about the results. That mindset only brought me wonderful things in life.
@@weirdversions Have been doing exactly what you suggest for years, still no results or wonderful things. Guess it's just not my time yet
@@FF-bj4nq I'm sorry about that. But if doing exactly what I said you havent seen anything good in return yet, imagine if you were acting needy or being a alpha jerk instead... :/
But what I said has nothing to do with "secrets to hook up with tons of girls". What I said is about getting the best social results possible with who you are and what you have. And I say so because I don't think attraction has anything to do with "acting alpha" or "being a jerk"... It just happens. The moment a girl looks at you for the first time, she will find you attractive or not. That's it.
My opinion. I totally respect yours, if it's different.
@@weirdversions The fact for me is that the alpha jerks have both girls and overall better social results. Well there are girls attracted to me but they end up with alpha jerks. I am nice and considerate to almost everyone and don't need anyone, but hardly get any close friend or girl. People take kindness as weakness that's what they say. Jerks can easily get along with other jerks while nice people are isolated. But don't feel sorry, cuz I chose to be this kind of guy like you did, and I don't care about results anymore :) Hope you keep getting wonderful results
@@weirdversions Agreed...
At the end of the day and also what Rollo Tomasi says,
"Attraction can never be negotiated." You either feel the connection for one another, or you don't.
Women deploy mating strategies and decide which men they want to have sex with. So it's pointless to chase women. Women will let you know they are interested in you, you just need to learn the signs and signals that they send. No woman is worth chasing. Pursue the best you, that you can be, stay busy, and women will show interest in you, when you have a little bit of spare time.
Me who is both an asexual and aromantic, i feel No connection for anybody no matter how much i try.
@@sebswede9005 that's cool but then why do you watch these videos?
I don't think you can try to feel connection, but you can try to build one. What reward do you get from the attempt?
@@passattdise That is why I said that as I don't chase women. From my own personal experience, I have found the women that have met have had passionate burning desire and want to be with me. It is either you feel a, "Hell yeah!"
Or walk away when it is a, "Feck no!"
@@Epsillion70 Agreed...it's either a "Fuck Yes" or "no". No fence-sitting.
I love Courtney’s voice. It’s so soothing.
I think undivided attention like love is becoming an all-to-rare commodity/resource.
Each of us only have a limited supply and I think, for the most part, everyone needs to start getting a lot more choosy about who/what we expend that limited resource on.
Dear Courtney, that is one of your best videos for men. I appreciate you work and your channel. It like a fresh air for conciseness peoples.
I have been waiting for this video so freaking long. About freaking time thank youuuu
Yes Ma'am! All of these points are good ways to not only build, but keep the attraction going. My favorite is at 5:10 Eye Contact/ Nonverbal communication... I'm getting better at eye contact in conversations and I'm an expressive person, so usually it shows in how my body is positioned, head movements, facial expressions, etc. I'm also picking up on how people Express their own body language. I would still like to Communicate vocally though, but it's something that is important. Everything will happen Naturally if you're interested...
The cruel reality is that attraction is either there or not within the first 2 seconds of looking at someone. If a wiman is attracted to you, trust me you will know. She'll constantly be looking at you and trying to make eye contact, therefore it'll happen anyways. If she's unattracted to you, she'll avoid eye contact like the plague and when it does happen, she'll quickly look somewhere else.
Most of these tips and videos assume a base level of attraction to begin with. If it's not there, it cannot simply be created with tips, tools, and tricks.
@@thecommenter9267 I disagree. Sometimes striking and maintaining a Conversation can be enough to build a foundation of attraction. If it's based on looks then the foundation is weak and will crumble when a problem is Presented. It was never a reality in the first place. I've had some people, in Successful relationships, tell me that at the time they met their Spouse, They weren't even looking. Things need to happen Naturally to build and keep attraction, It's not always about looks.
@@Bigtank9401 It depends on how you define relationship. I, too, have seen successful couples where physical attraction was not the foundation of the relationship, and that's completely fine. However, for me, a romantic relationship MUST have physical intimacy. In those relationships you're referring to, yes they can be happy and lasting, however, from what I've heard from those people and experienced myself, there is little to no physical intimacy involved. If that's what you'd consider a successful relationship (essentially a lasting friendship), then sure.
@@thecommenter9267 Physical intimacy has little to do with looks(Which was your initial reply was about) . There are a Number of ways to be intimate with a woman, including Talking/Listening, Comforting, caring, empathy, etc. That's why Successful couples have success. We have to be there Physically, Mentally and Emotionally for it to last(Vice Versa too)... In other words, You have to be that "Best Friend" type. It's not about how one defines Relationship over the other, We know what a Romantic Relationship is. What matters is how we keep building throughout our lives.
Courtney you have no idea how much you help me and I'm sure 1000 other guys say the exact same thing. Thanks for all your videos you go into really good detail about everything you talk about and it makes sense to us. Keep doing you Court!
I honestly just come to Courtney‘s channel because it relaxes me. Some people go to the spa some people go to the gym, and although I do those things there is nothing like Courtney‘s truths! Oh and the background music too haha
Remember before following any of this advice, work on yourself first. Putting it bluntly, if you’re ugly and have nothing going on for yourself, no dating or attraction advice video will ever work for you.
- How to not be ugly in a few steps -
Take care of your skin, brush your teeth / floss twice daily and use some white strips if you have yellow teeth, workout 3-5 times a week, get into the habit of having excellent hygiene (I.e shower daily and keep yourself well groomed) find yourself a good daily cologne, get well fitted clothing and a better wardrobe.
Once you take care of yourself, everything else comes naturally. It’s hard to be considered an unattractive man if you’re doing all of the above. I don’t care if you’re 5 ft tall or have a micro pecker, someone will find you attractive, but only if you fix the things you can fix. I don’t want to hear the bull shit “oh she only wants a guy that’s 6 feet tall and a chad.” We are men, and a real man don’t make excuses, we make the best out of what we have. No amount of complaining will make you more desirable to women.
That’s all I got to say, too many black pilled weirdos in the comments.
When you’re blackpilled, all you think about is how you’re doomed and nothing will work, but that is probably the most counterproductive and unattractive trait you can have. Your thoughts go to how there is no hope instead of to actually trying to improve your appearance and focus on your goals and ambitions. Probably from too much internet use I guess
All the advice on your channel is everything I wish I knew 15 years ago. Even as a married 35 year old I still find great value in the advice as it applies to my relationship with my wife.
Courtney, you Must have read my mind. The timing of this topic is perfect. I'm in the very process you are discussing of rekindling a long time friend ship with a beautiful lady from my church and I'm am following your examples as best I know how. This dear sweet lady deserves it .thank you, as always.
This is the best approach! Chances are, if either party has to resort to games things aren’t gonna work out
Thanks for this video Courtney. I watch a lot of diverse content on UA-cam, but yours is one of the few channels that seem to have dating framed in a healthy way. We seem to be lacking honest communication now and days and just letting things flow.
It’s very interesting that the same advice can be said in two different ways with drastically different consequences. Courtney’s first advice here sounds like what some “game” youtubers would say “Be the buyer, not the seller, so you convey high value and make it seem like she’s the one who needs to impress you”. However, while you might be doing the same thing on the outside, the underlying mentality will have a huge impact on how well and genuinely you do it and how it’s going to lead the relationship on the long run. The same can be said for other points
Thanks Courtney for shedding some healthy light on the youtube dating community
The whole "game" element is so overplayed. The whole concept of "building attraction" is not really how it works. It's possible with hard work, yes, but the much more likely scenario is that attraction is either there or not there within the first 2 seconds of her laying eyes on you. If she's attracted, almost everything you do from that point will be viewed in a positive light and if she's unattracted, it'll feel like you can't win no matter what you do.
Sound is closer to other UA-cam videos. Thanks for making it easier to listen inside a playlist.
i needed this . thank you i’ve been working on myself for months but i want to attract certain kinds of women but they don’t seem interested, thank you for this !!!
I like the first point of not being outcome-oriented because that's something that we all tend to be fixated on. Just go in with an open mind and no preconceived notions. Try meeting new people and see where it goes, but don't treat the interaction like a business plan. Also, closing the touch barrier is pivotal and is something that should be added on this list. You can be the most suave guy and say all the right things, but you have to be able to get physical (assuming it's socially appropriate, of course) to escalate the relationship beyond the platonic stage.
I'm cool with taking things slow and letting it build naturally, but I'm also terrible at reading signs and finding the right moments to make a move. So, for me, it's either make a move at the wrong time or wait and wait for a signal that I never see.
Facts! I struggle with this so bad
She will let you know my guy. I promise. You don't need Todo anything but be prepared
This advice would have really helped me in the 90’s when i was in high school or college but todays world is fast paced and females don’t reciprocate the attention because the social media is saturated with other guys getting her attention
Taking it slow with women will lead to rejection and the friendzone since women
a) have a million other options and can't wait despite what they claim
b) will punish you for not taking action and complain about you being too passive
c) will assume you won't like them
Many men would like to take it slow but women actually force them to do the opposite.
Honestly, pacing isn't as much a concern as people make it out to be. The single biggest factor is attraction, and the wimen will decide if the relationship happens or not. If she's attracted to you, it's very difficult to mess up unless you're trying to. Once attraction is achieved, slow pacing will be looked at favorably ("oh he's respectful and taking his time!") and so will fast pacing ("he's so direct and confident!").
Yep because as soon as some other guy comes along and starts giving her attention she'll forget about you and be on to him.
@@thecommenter9267 Agreed.
@@garbonratslayer1387 Yap, that's true
Preach Brother 🙌
Courtney is radiating more with every passing day ❤️
I agree with that Mitul! Lol
Confidence is probably the #1 thing you’ll need before you approach any woman…
Also you need to have no agenda, just relax, and talk to her like a human being - because women are people, whether you choose to believe that, or not! Lol
But seriously, behave around her like you would with your friends, that way - she’ll let her guard down, and perhaps, let you get to know her!
Just remember, it’s your job to put her mind at ease, if you can do that - amazing things will start to happen!
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
I guess someone is engaged. Congratulations Courtney! 🍾
Thank you! ❤️
Really neat Tips, i feel like i have been applying this more and more over the years but i still feels nice to hear about this in a video, You´re awesome!
It's easy..just be yourself and let your purity make the best
Such genuine guidance on a plastic world. The genuine heart 💓 will always win.. and be THE most attractive* Thanks and keep up the great work!
Very true. It’s such a beautiful feeling and it’s before any achievement really. You are giving very very important bits of info here. Good job, I’m so proud of you
Also making the conversation an “us” instead of you or they. Also creating things exclusive to both. Anchors
Dominance is key at all times. Influence and Manipulation on women is the best power you can gain from them, no matter what you say. Women don't wanna be controlled. But, everyday they control us. They say they don't, but, the truth just burns they're hearts out. Sadly.
Thank you Courtney I have had alot of trouble just communicating with people as a whole and your videos have really helped me out alot I really do appreciate the effort you put in which is why I have subbed to your channel have a great day and thank you again ☺️
I'm 6'4 and good-looking, it always works.
Sometimes i give them my full attention, sometimes i don't. It doesn't matter. I still hit it 8/10 times
Going on a 3rd date later today, really found this video helpful Thanks Courtney
Great video. I prefer these types of topics over fashion trends or other topics based upon bumping into someone on the street.
I get all psyched when get that new idea for the next video....
And then when I take action and it comes out SPECTACULAR!!
Oh yeah baby!! 😎
Thanks, Courtney. You’re my hero.
You're super amazing and super talented, keep posting helpful videos for us... lots of love and support from india
This was pretty good advice. Be yourself and allow the other to be themselves and both will soon find if there is any connection. Having an emotional IQ is also very important. This IQ can be developed to a higher point of understanding. This is often an area men need help in to cultivate. Just don't imagine things that are not there by honestly seeing what your seeing/hearing...no rose coloured glasses.
I noticed the ring on your finger, congratulations on the engagement!!
Being subscribed with the 🛎 clicked is an argent pur gold nugget!
Thanks for all the advice Courtney Ryan! It's very helpful.
This is great advice to become great friends with a girl! Just friends, not building attraction. This is very dangerous advice to get caught in that friend zone.
its a balance make a move on the second date first if its going good. if you dont make a move then you will be put into the friend zone. if she says no on 2nd then try on a third if your desperate or ditch and go find another chick.
This is why you should never be friends with a girl unless you are high value enough. High value guys don't become friends.
Going on a second date tonight with a girl. I haven't been too interested in dating, more interested in working on myself. This girl seems very genuine and positive. The issue I find is that she has never dated longer than 4 month, also back in school for her degree and living with her parents. I thought maybe after this date, I should let her know that she should be focusing on herself right now (also I'm worried about dating someone that's never been in a longterm relationship). What are your thoughts Courtney?
Context is everything here. I wouldn't judge her just because she hasn't dated longer than 4 months. Now, if she's had 20 relationships, all ending under 4 months, then of course that's a huge red flag. On the other hand, if she's young and has only been in 2 relationships, both under 4 months, then that's reasonable, especially if she's still a student.
No need to give someone a hard time for something like that if it's not warranted. Also, observe her overall demeanor. Does she look and act promiscuous, ADHD, loose, etc.? If so, then think about it a little more, if she's a normal girl, I wouldn't really think too much about it.
Second date?? Who are you to tell her
"focus on yourself"
On the third date, you gonna tell her she can't leave the country?
Not really fair to judge someone who hasn’t been in a long term relationship. Everyone’s gotta start somewhere! I know for me it always made me feel bad when I thought about how I had never had a long term relationship. I definitely wanted one, but I started dating later in life due to personal health related reasons. Sucked when someone judged me for not having experience. Had a great time with the girls afterwards who didn’t and we ended up having healthy relationships. Don’t project that kind of expectation on someone. Just focus on if you’re having a good time.
Let her know she should focus on herself? Bruh, who tf do you think you are?
Not dating longer than 4 months doesn't mean anything to be honest, thats normally around the time you find out things dont work - Also you are implying that its all on her... the Majority of times its not. Give her a chance, you are on a second date... you can't be telling someone "You need to work on yourself" like what is that? If you are that worried for future reference, ask someone about it - Its really not that big a deal and you may find it ease's things for you a little.
It’s an odd feeling to me that these are things that I have believed were important and that they didn’t seem to be for a few years or more.?. Thank you for reinforcing positive principles back into our lives from your platform.
👏
You are amazing Courtney Ryan!!! I adore you! 🥰
Thanks Courtney! You're that one sister and best friend everyone needed.
have fun in the friend zone
@@kyleg3837 corny
Just wanted to say, that shirt looks great on you!
Thank you Courtney! You're such a kind person, and I appreciate your advice
Yes, she lets us know her opinion without being rude. I like that about her. :D
"Meaningful conversations" can be a form of mindgame. Anyone can pretend to care.
Some couples are just ok with being around with one another, and that's ok.
140 vids❤❤❤Love from India...first comment
You pull off bright color really good!
Hello Courtney. Love your content. Learning a lot about what I was doing wrong & working on myself now to become a better man, for the woman I eventually want in my life. Still have things I need to work on 😊😊😊 just want to say thanks. Subscribed & waiting for the next gem you drop ❤️❤️❤️
Well done, not about manipulating women, this is about bringing your real side out, thanks for this great video, it helps removes rusty behavior.
Thank you for this Courtney I hateee the mind games
These all seem like natural things that come to me. I was watching other videos where they put so much pressure on having to create sexual tension, have to kiss them otherwise they will see you as a "beta". Glad I found one that brings me back to when it was simpler and not overthink these things.
Harsh truth: for some women these tips Courtney has given won't be enough for them but the key is don't get discouraged. Let this information guide you in the picking the best mate possible don't get discouraged about how many times you lose but rather feel encouraged more to win.
@DrRobotnik Then why are you even on a dating advice video? xD
@DrRobotnik Nah mate you just came on here to whinge and pretend you are "Sigma" and how "I dont need women" when reality - you couldn't get a woman even if you did jump through hoops lol.
@DrRobotnikYes Sigmund Freud the austrian Psychologist? Are you trying to imply I have an oedipus complex because Im not a bitter loser pretending to be "Sigma" like you xD.
Oh wait no... you are just pretending you are a genius "Sigma" who don't need no women. Meanwhilst goes on dating videos to whine about how awful they are xD.
If you were truly "Sigma" bro surely you wouldn't be here whinging xD. Later.
I think one of the main reasons men tend to neglect or place emotional attraction secondary is also a societal thing too. Most men are taught not to have emotions or be intimate or cry because it’s weak. It’s “soft”. I think we’re all getting better about it and it’s acceptance now but I do still think it plays a huge part. Not to discard responsibility, we are all responsible to teach ourselves healthy ways of living and coping mechanisms to be clear.
Thank you very much for this good reminder. You fleshed out the idea nicely and added new ideas. Your message today is GREAT. Oh yes - Thank You.
Great advice patience is a virtue
Definitely needed this crash course
Thank you for your advice Courtney :) Please keep it up!
Yes Courtney im confident when im with a women that she will be into me now I have to make sure she's good with me. Yes I stare into her eyes talk to her let her know my intentions meaningful conversation but I knew this 🤔
been on 2 dates with a girl from my gym and I've been doing these!!! proud of myself
Asterisk- *this advice only works if you are a SMV 8 or higher. I.e.- If you are an '8' giving a woman attention is 'attractive' if you are a '5'? Giving a woman attention is creepy and simp-like.
Thanks so much for this advice i just hope its not too late too try and fix things ive been doing the texting too much thing and felt our relationship strain 😥
You deserve millions of LIKES 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🌹
Love you Courtney for such no BS content videos🙏
I mean except for the "how to not be creepy" video but I'll assume you just forgot about that one 👍
Courtney, you are my undivided attention, as always😍
i have a problem with number 2. Courtney said dont text her or ask her hangout everyday so how long do i have to wait to do any of these because she doenst text me at all. i only had 1 hangout and thats it. should i just do what Courtney said and dont text her and ask for hangouts?
No games. Be yourself and enjoy life. Love yourself and you'll automatically vibrate at a level that attracts that energy🙂
You know, it struck me that the reason a lot of guys seem to struggle with the idea of emotional attraction isn't that they don't feel emotions as strongly as women but more that men get shamed for their emotions by society just like how women get shamed for their sexuality. It basically means a lot of men never learn to understand their own emotions and can't see the strength there is in sharing their genuine feelings with another and thus they struggle to go deep and connect emotionally with the women they date because they don't want to appear weak when in fact not wanting to appear weak is itself a form of weakness. I think a lot of guys stuff down their emotions and forget that their emotions can propel them forward in life to achieve their goals and be the man they want to be. The issue really is in understanding the difference between being vulnerable and being needy and recognising that being able to express your emotions authentically is actually a source of true masculine strength. After all, if you have tamed your own demons and can connect at a deep emotional level with a woman I'm guessing she'll sense the emotional strength that rests within you and realise that you can provide her with some of that emotional strength when she's facing the great existential problems of life.
Be attractive, have money, got game.
No point in lying to men saying that all these other factors matter for initial attractions. 🤗
A few months ago I went on a first date with a girl who was rushing things way too fast (she hugged me, kissed me all over my face and lips). Within the first few days of texting, she proclaimed her love multiple times and called me endearing terms (e.g darling, honey). Would you all say that this is a red flag as she might have had an ulterior motive in mind?
When she proclaimed her love, called me endearing terms and was intimate with me, I actually felt the same way about her so I reciprocated. Was that the right move or should I have run for the hills?
We love Courtney Ryan! ❤️
Wow great advice...im actually quite impressed abt your approach.
Awesome video!!! Can you make a video about giving advice to high functioning autistic men. I noticed a lot of confident women going out with the shy and weak guy that that they can control. I feel as if those are the men (high functioning autism) that have trouble communicating and reading between the lines. Yet women still prefer them because they are very honest and that they can never hurt them. I can’t really say much, but you have a greater audience to mention this too. So if you can give us advice for high functioning autistic men and dating that would be a life changer!!! Thank you 😊
Thanks for your wonderful videos! They are very helpful.
I think the things you say, are, precise, and modern. Alot of things men do not, know. Your pose, calm composer entertain, your words
Give thought, and precision. Love watching you. Much Love too you. 🍯🌹
Courtney, I am curious. I have never been married and I do not have any children. I'm slightly conservative. I read books and I have a hobby. How can an older man like myself find my soulmate during a pandemic? I take Zoom classes, but still no luck. Is there anyway that I can be mentored? What are your thoughts?
Listen, get off the surface level topics, and don't be afraid to dig deeper. Thanks coach.
Do you have enough of the required Locus of Control/Attention Span to give away in a relationship to a woman?
Or is overwork, or some other diversion causing you to falter in your desire to give full attention to your love interest?
That white sweater looking cute on you courtney i like it more than the black one
And great content as always
Build attracton whilst also being a decent human being? SUBBED!
Great information normal and Natural thanks Courtney Love your Content 💯💕
Dashing as always
Hi Courtney! i would like to have a question that you havent covered, but interest me a lot, and it would be great to hear your advice. Its somewhat relates to this video as well (maybe). so whats your oppinion on shemag? (arab scarf) does it look good on guys, or its not somthing women want to see? Thank you
Good video. And also some of the things that you said are definitely the same things that Bobby Rio said as well.
If she doesn’t like you for you, notice her vibe you can tell if she doesn’t care for you, and if you don’t feel a connection or a vibe from her move on, she will show if she into or not
How do you make attraction happen naturally while at work? Barely started talking to a girl that caught my eye at work. I cant necessarily say I like her just yet but she is interesting, feminine and fun to talk too. I do feel attracted to her physically aswell but I'm not sure if I want to date her, so for now I just talk to her briefly when I see her at work. I haven't asked her out or for her phone number yet because I've rushed things before in the past and has never worked. Have only been talking at work for a few weeks. When do I ask for the phone number or date? Dont want to take things too slow either.
First, evaluate whether or not you actually want to engage in a relationship with someone from the workplace. I personally avoid this completely as I've seen lots of drama unfold in the past and it can potentially make for a very uncomfortable working experience (whether it works out or not).
If you do want to move forward, you should try to pull her into a non-work setting. The best way to do this would be to plan for a time for you and a bunch of colleagues (including her) to get some drinks after work. While getting drinks, you guys all have fun, get closer, complain about your bosses, etc. and bond.
Next step, once you're sufficiently close, is to invite her to do something with just the two of you. One instance I've found successful is when Malcolm Gladwell came to town for a book signing, and this person asked a female colleague if she wanted to go with him (since they both liked Gladwell). Once you are together at this event 1 on 1, this is when you make your move. Obviously, I can't tell you when exactly to ask for her number or how to do it as you'll have to read the situation and her body language, but this would roughly be the series of steps to take to get closer to your female colleague.
@@thecommenter9267 appreciate the reply and I will give this a shot. Right now its just casual conversation with some flirting/ teasing. Im just seeing it as an opportunity to get to know her like Courtney said. So im trying to play it cool while showing some interest. I dont think a relationship not working would really affect me much as I'm pretty unbothered by peoples opinions and if it got too bad I wouldn't have a hard time finding another job. I like your strategy as it seems more casual for getting to know her outside of work and to see if I would like to get to know her on a personal one on one level.
Most recently I asked for her number when I felt we had a good conversation that I could she was interested in a few conversations in
I don't no if the slow stuff works because I keep seeing men that rush things that women over a men like me that dose take things slowly . If take things slowly she might end up meeting some else some where else or on line? I have also tried that faster approuch but that has not worked eather so might be just deppend on the women?
This is a great healthy perspective on building attraction Courtney 😊✌🏽♥️. Looks do play a factor in it tho. However, all a guy can do is present the best version of himself. Don't ask questions that the answer results in a yes during a conversation. I definitely think showing interest in what a woman likes, is passionate about and things she put time into. Remember it's not just you doing everything. A woman should be trying to contribute and impress you too. Just have fun and don't text so much. Let a woman experience your personality in person or over a voice/video call. Don't be all up on her social media 24/7 either.
Georgio, great observation. The common sense part of me says the lady should be trying to contribute also. But sadly this never happens. The man is being tested from moment one. He is expected to carry the date and keep things interesting. On the flip side she believes she only has to show up. "Men display, Women choose"
@@briar35981 if every date has never shown an interest in you, it's most likely because you're not attractive and boring if I am being dead honest....
When you've just met someone and you've conversed a bit (small talk out of the way) and you feel the energy or "Vibe" receding, you are struggling a bit to keep conversation on automatic, I do this:
Face to face, ask her to tell the story, (describe), of a very exciting/strange/scary/astonishing moment of her life, of something she experienced in person, real time. Have a few of your own favorites in cue.
If she balks or is a little hesitant, offer to go first. Stories of awe, fear, excitement, (avoid sad or gross stories here). Like the time you almost drown, a wild car wreak you saw or were in, extreme weather you've witnessed, have you seen a UFO, a ghost, an explosion, etc. Any kind of whoa, what the F? moments.
Anything that you can tell in an animated, adrenaline infused way. The energy of your story should cause a bump in adrenaline in her. It will encourage more energetic conversation, lift the vibe and the attraction factor. This works well to energize a waning conversation.. One story leads to another and you usually find you have some similar experiences.
Courtney you make a video on how to talk to a girl at school. For example say she’s in you class, what’s kind of things should us guys talk about and when would be the right time to ask for the number
Talk naturally see where the conversation takes you, take it slow and don't bomb them with attention
See if she's receptive and bring up going out outside of school
Don't pair up after a date either stay your own man
@@Beingtomframpton Don't ask for her number unless you've built at least some type of warm connection first. The worst thing is when these so called "pick-up artists" keep talking about cold approaches. Cold approaches are completely ineffective in the modern era. I'd start by seeing if there's another male person in the class who is her friend. Befriend him, and then slowly integrate into the circle. You have to understand that most wimen will have their guard up in an initial interaction. Therefore, you need to acquire "social proof" by associating with someone she is comfortable with first.
That being said, if you don't have the time or ability to integrate into someone else's circle first, you can perhaps start by making a light joke about what a professor said in class and then slowly talk to her more and more as you continue to have classes. After a while, she'll be comfortable enough with you to have a 1 on 1 conversation, and then naturally the "phone number" topic will come up anyways. Let me know if this makes sense.
@@thecommenter9267 walking up to a lady in the street or at the bar isn't ineffective tho like that's cold approaching and introducing yourself is necessary in nearly every situation
It's almost never a "cold" approach as women have already spotted you and made a judgement in most cases
For the OP tho like yous are in class I'm guessing your familiar with eachother? No need to overthink it, paralysis by analysis
@@Beingtomframpton Introducing yourself to someone, assuming a situation that requires or is conducive to random introductions (e.g., and industry conference) is fine, but walking up to a lady in the street with zero context (what I would define as the cold approach) is completely ineffective. Wimen are naturally wary and suspicious of men that approach them out of nowhere and unless you are incredibly good looking, you are almost certainly going to be categorized as a creep, stalker, or scammer.
In the past, cold approaches were more accepted because this was one of the few ways to meet wimen. With the advent of dating apps and social media, there are other more accepted ways of connecting with people which allow for a baseline vetting process, and therefore, the truly cold approach is now completely obsolete and looked at as scary or creepy.
@@thecommenter9267 sounding a lil black pill bro
Thanks my sister this video really helped.
Why was my girl tired on the 2nd and 3rd date when she clearly works night shift???
I (33) male met this great, introverted, shy catholic school girl (28) that has a heart of gold. We met online and texted for 2 months and talked alot, we both brought up religion, jobs, school, childhood etc... because of covid. Eventually we met we hugged and smiled and chatted a bit and played darts... I told her she looks pretty and she gave me a smirk smile and compliment the way I was looking. We were just catching up on what we were talking about on our text messages. However, near the end, I swept her off her feet and held her like a baby for a photo, she smiled big for the camera. When we walked outside, I said I normally don't kiss on the first date and said "well, come here" and when I went in, she turned her head where I kissed her cheek/hair... it was awkward, but I played it off like it was nothing... We said our byes and 1 hour later she texted me wanting to see me that weekend with heart eye emojis.
On our second date, things ended not that great. We played arcades, then bowling, then pool.
I saw her, and hugged and said "I didn't know there were two entrances" (I gave her no compliment and she dolled up, too) She had a big smile.
fast forward
"Stay here while I get our tokens" (she stayed, but eventually followed me
Masha Allah - Wow! I thought I was going to roast you ; being a former "Playa" and super busy guy right now :) the advice is great; Be Present, No Agenda, Pay Full Attention, have a real conversation (especially if you're into her which means save these conversations for girls you're interested in), and do things you "both enjoy" ...I got nothing but kudos and respect for your advice - Nice INFO sister.
Love the content, love the blue stripped white top 🖤
I'm NOT an expert... but from what I understand, the woman decides *immediately* if she likes you "like dat."
So, the idea of "building" attraction doesn't make any sense. And, if I have ANY doubt or confusion if she likes me "like dat," that means she doesn't. It IS, or it ISN'T happens immediately ...and there's no way to change it, or "build" it.
This is largely true. You can "improve" attraction, but you can't create it from nothing (unless you're an alchemist).
Behave like them, try to groom or keep them around as consolation rewards lot of them. Over time, with luck, if they see or understand you are a good choice, it "may" work. Of course, it is morally bankrupt to pursue 5 or 10 women at the same time, but they can choose 20 differents guys a day without doing any efforts.
It’s like those old Polaroid photos you have to let the thing develop chill
Certainly a contrast to what play with fire talks about. I'm not talking about Mind Games. I'm talking about letting things happen naturally. I not saying its too literal. Its just a minor contrast I noticed. Which I find interesting.