“Literally Me”: Masculinity and the Patriarchy | Video Essay
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- Опубліковано 30 лип 2024
- You’ve probably seen quite a few “literally me” movies, because there’s a LOT of them. But what does this trope consist of, and what does it say about mental health, men, and the patriarchy? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!
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time stamps ---
0:00 - intro
0:20 - who are they?
1:55 - brief PSA
2:44 - the characters
5:32 - why are they literally me?
8:43 - outro
music ---
Music by STUDIO BEYOND - Lazy Anonymous - thmatc.co/?l=CF821991 - Фільми й анімація
I wonder if Ryan Gosling in the new Barbie movie will create a new emotionally unstable character for us to project onto
yeah maybe! I see a lot of memes about him already and in interviews Gosling's made him out to be a little "literally me"-y
God I hope so
he did
@@longlongthepro18 and he definitely did hahahaha
He is just like me fr
I am a man (in pain) and I found your video essay to be rather interesting, but you forgot to account for the fact that the character known as "the driver" from the 2011's action drama hit "Drive" played by academy award winner actor Ryan Gosling is literally me.
damn how could I forget. my bad
@@MaiaCVideos Don't let it happen again (nice video (I will proceed to learn absolutely nothing (I am so consume by a post-ironic mindset (internalize toxic masculine traits that I am scared (I probably secretly enjoy them) to face) to even be able to do something about it ) from it and keep indulging myself in self destructive behavior (I deserve no sympathy, I'm genuinely evil(I like to think I am)) that will inevitably end in violence), keep it up), ok?
@@darkael6167 i drive.
@@darkael6167 unironically saying toxic masculinity = indoctrinated by Zionism
no you are not a man. You have an anime pfp
Impressive, very nice.
Let's see Paul Allen's masculinity.
Morb
I was constantly in therapy during my childhood/teenage years, never did shit for me. When I watched Taxi Driver for the first time I just started practicing stabbing on my dark cold room (like a true sigma).
I'll just wait for Barbie to release so I can adopt a new personality
fr im unironically so excited for that movie lol
@@MaiaCVideos i have no idea what to expect but Gosling's Ken photo killed me
"Many of the male characters lack the awareness to determine what exactly is making them so unhappy"
This part is wrong the answer is social isolation and emotional deprivation many of the characters know this for example Patrick Bateman acknowledges that all he wants to do is fit in multiple times during the movie but he never will because he's a psychopath you can even argue that his obsession of making money and being physically fit makes sense and is healthy because if he does he can atlest know that that his emotions of alienation are not directly his falt.
Perhaps he also knows that fitting in is just a sham. The people he hangs out with are probably less desirable than a psychopath. They are rich people that live in a bubble and play with the lives of others through social pressures, politics, and money. They fit in and lose any sense of themselves. They deny all that is natural and switch to whatever is the latest fad trying to get money, power, and influence over others and what they think. At least a psychopath is a natural construct. They don't deny violence or death (which is part of nature and what is natural). They're also taking down those people that are often untouchable. I've seen to many people change to the latest fad and ideas in my life to believe anyone is authentic or that there's a definitive right and wrong to work towards. The anti patriarchy movement is the latest nonsense IMHO. Other groups are already taking over to replace it. Then those will be replaced one day. Kids will be indoctrinated with new things. None of it will really matter in the end. It's all nonsense. As I said in an earlier post. Therapy is there to allow you to pretend that everything is better and okay in the world or just to ignore the things you don't like and indulge in the ones that make you feel comfortable. Sadly this is the only way to live life now. The real problems like over consumption and unsustainability are ignored while people eat their avocado's, buy clothing like crazy, and just waste never-ending. They also set goals that make no sense in life like getting a job that is part of a broken system, setting life goals like getting married and having kids in an overpopulated society, and talking to people all day in what amounts to never-ending dialogue and no real solutions. I've watched it my whole life and it's like you have to ignore the fact that it's all nonsense or you really go crazy. You have to go through life and pretend that everything is okay and has meaning or just ignore it all and try to be happy. Socializing with other people might make you feel better and safer, but it doesn't necessarily solve any problems. It is also part of the herd mentality. You give up your identity in exchange for security. That identity might be associative with violence which is rejected yet it's okay to teach kids to use butt plugs. I feel like it's all just a power grab like everything in society. People in power that can use submissive non violent people that are ashamed of violence or anything out of societal norms to control them. This puts the power in anyone's hands who has money or wealth without fear of a violent rebellion.
I don’t need to sit here and listen to this, I have videotapes to return.
i like how she says at the end that men should just "go to therapy" while also showing Joker, a movie where therapy ends up failing the protagonist and his mental issues.
Its almost like therapists dont always help and are unreliable 🤯
It wasn’t therapy what failed to the Joker, it was society. You can see that his downfall starts when the government cancels the psychological assistance program. In addition to the discrimination from pretty much everyone in the movie
@@feree1720 You're right but even if he went to therapy it would fail cuz at the end of the movie like last 30 minutes he stopped using pills and started to feel better.
Well said, this video utterly fails to understand men's problems.
Just gonna say people often forget the Joker is a movie about... literally the Joker, meaning it shouldn't be taken as a realistic depiction of mental illness, because the point of his character is literally just to be a violent sociopath that battles back and forth against Batman, it's not supposed to be taken "seriously"
I don't think that the reason a lot of men relate to "literally me" characters is the patriarchy and its implications. I think it has a lot more to do with how common it is to be *completely* alone as a man and have noone to talk to(regardless of how a man talking about how he feels is viewed in society). I don't think personally that going to therapy can solve these issues. These men are alone and depressed, and they don't know how to get out of that situation. At least this is why I identify with them. There is no worse feeling than having "friends" but feeling super lonely nonetheless.
I have completely understood that women can't understand men and men can't understand women
Yes, men are taught to hide their emotions, to emotionally distance themselves from people, and are made fun of for their emotional vulnerability by both men and women. That is all because of the patriarchy that sets unrealistic expectations set for men's emotions.
the relation to these characters also stems from a personal separation from certain aspects of masculinity, as much of the modern world destroys good aspects of masculinity and femininity, such as much of the basis of trust and bonds like emotional vulnerability, and strengthens the bad parts, like sexual deviancy, and hatred of the opposite sex, these also often reflect each other in some kind of spiral as people have more and more relationships, but those relationships are emptier and emptier
I think you’re confused about Bateman’s character. He visibly shows disgust for how fake society/humanity is, but he understands it’s necessary for him to “play by the rules” if he wants to live a decent life. Happiness for him would be a world where people are actually real to each other without wearing a mask or hiding who they really are, but ofc those types of people don’t get too far in modern society. Materialism, greed, narcissism are the hallmarks of a successful person in the world he lives in.
Morality is a mask as well. Woke is a mask. Everything is a mask. What is the real you? I feel like living in a happy world where everyone goes to school and is given a job pretty dull. I don't see that as not wearing a mask. Everyone around me wears a mask or are so identified with their mask that they don't realize they're wearing a mask. They don't realize they're wearing other peoples ideas of what should be. They're domesticated. A good example is that death and sickness is a natural part of life, but people deny it. People deny the way humans have evolved to live and what nature is. They have false ideas of what is right in life like going to funerals, celebrating holidays, getting married, etc. People are taught this and if they don't want to go along with it they need therapy because humans are supposed to do these things just because someone thought of them. In reality they're just ideas. The frustrating thing is how society tries to make everyone believe there is a right way to do things or they are sick. This is when people break down because they realize this and can't live with how fake and unnatural life in a society is. Then they want to discard their mask and take it out on the people that happily participate in it. The alternative is therapy which allows you to analyze what you're feeling and not allow it to bother you. None the less that doesn't mean this is the best way for humans to live. It would be better to accept death, hardship, and sickness, but live a more natural life without consuming everything around us in the false assumption that we're doing something great that is going to save humanity.
@@crpggamer I agree, very insightful comment.
I've always seen him as the opposite. Bateman is empty to his core. He is a parody of the young wall street buisnessmen of the era, powered only by desires for more success and being slightly better than their coworkers.
@@erbeilas4355 yeah this makes sense as well. I guess it depends on perspective.
Hes both and that’s why he’s so fucked up and interesting
women when literally anything "men"
I wonder what they think about the tale of Norah Vincent, are they even aware of her tragic tale? 🤔
Not a man, but I really appreciate the empathetic approach you take with this analysis. People who relate to these sort of "fringe" characters are often mocked or derided and are seen as missing the point of the narrative, because what kind of creepy weirdo would relate to a violent, destructive, mentally ill character? And well, I do relate to some of those characters, for various reasons. Society tends to shame people (notably men, but women too) who show signs of struggle and vulnerability and I think those sort of alienated-from-society/humanity characters speak to a lot of us who struggle to fit in for whatever reason.
very true, glad you enjoyed!
we are depressed because we are bored.. families are broken and dating is a disaster
Who's "we" lmao. I can't help it. You have a miserable life
@@CaptainAchieLife of the average man, can’t relate to it ? good for you take your cookie and move to the side.
@@travisbickle01 keep crying loser
@@CaptainAchie "Captain Kidd" lmaooo enough said.
@@CaptainAchie Who is we? Why the fuck would you respond he’s obviously not talking about you not everything is about you Captain kidd
I think the literally me characters help us men to express our feelings in some way. Many times it is difficult to say what you feel, either because you do not want to talk about it or because you feel alone and have no one to talk to. so i feel like we see these characters and we see a lot of things that we think and someone else saying and showing them helps
Jake Gyllenhaal, Ryan gosling and jaoquin phoenix are the CEOs of the "literally me" characters.
And Paul Giamatti
Howdy, so this is coming from a guy in the general age range that dudes generally relate to these characters (I.e. teenagers to young adults) and honestly for me “literally me” characters act mostly as vent pieces for me. A lot of us are lonely, alienated and insecure about our emotions and these characters and movies help us express it in slightly more healthy ways. I relate to Travis and Patrick and the driver and Lou because I’m an anxious, envious ball of insecurity and mental issues (of course I can’t speak for everyone on this)
Therapy tends to favor those who have higher economic status and can afford expensive private specialist. The tragedy of that is many mental health conditions can arise from a poor upbringing. While often extreme in itself movies like the Joker highlight socioeconomic disparity in the mental health industry nurtured by a highly classist society.
If they can't afford *good* therapy they will often repress or mask what's wrong.
Maladaptive coping mechanisms start to get piled on reinforced by people being so divided in their own bubbles unwilling to help. Selective empathy and what's deemed appropriate online is constantly pushed into them. Eventually they might just give up on the whole thing entirely. The literally me characters or Sigma becomes a idol in that case like Drive or Bladerunner.
They might also embrace toxic ideas from the things they are often labeled, like incel for example if polarized enough. We will solve nothing by dehumanizing a person's struggles, it doesn't matter what box they check. Categorizing and assigning caricatures to people that go against our ideas is a slippery slope. Unfortunately one that is often repeated throughout history up to the modern era.
THISSSS
you're literally me ❤😢
All due respect, I think there is a fundamental misunderstanding of how women view men because they tend to analyze men through the lense that they would analyze women. In my experience, most men do not want to go to therapy not because of the patriarchy but because men don't usually want to vent. Women want to talk about their problems, men want to fix them. This is why whenever a woman has a problem and a man tries to fix it the woman gets upset because she wants to talk, not solve. The literally me characters show us two things. First, they showcase a character who is struggling with a society that rejects him and makes him feel useless and left out. Second, they are a warning as to what can happen when you choose to numb the dull feeling of your life in a broken society through unwarranted violence and sexual pleasure, instead of working to create a better society for the next generation.
Speaking facts
So very true!
Yes, I'm so tired of this idea that "Woman" are pushing men around, when in my whole life as a man, it was other men that we're pushing me to never talk about my emotions, because it supposedly shows weakness in the eyes of other men..........which is retarded ASF
You just described patriarchy.
@@steamyvegetables1445 how so?
I agree patriarchy exist, however women subconsciously uphold it aswell
I dont see how we live in a patriarchy. It seems like the entire Western world is geared towards women.
@@theinfinitevoidiscringe2819 i agree, I just mean “patriarchy” in the sense the majority of wealth and seats in global government are men.
@@wolfstyle8945women can also benefit from the patriarchy if they played the game right
Step 1: Just find a sugar daddy
Step 2: Use him to pay all your expenses, which could include college.
Step 3: Use the money to buy investments that appreciate overtime. The more capital you have, the higher your ROI.
Step 4: Enjoy the extra free time you have for the rest of your life
And if you’re ugly, save up and get plastic surgery, then start step 1
@@calmsine7767 life was designed for them to acquire wealth a lot easier
Exactly, we are all victims of it, which is why we have to acknowledge it
2:28 I know what you mean by patriarchy, and I still wholeheartedly dissagree with the application of that interpretation of patriarchy as a catch-all explanation for all of them. To elaborate, I disagree with the thesis that all of these characters/irl individuals suffer from patriarchy, I don't deny that a fair ammount do, but many do not.
The justification I have for this argument lies both in my own personal experience, which to a certain extent fits in with these characters/irl societal group, and a analysis of other behavior exhibited from men like me.
To start off, I am a young male with large self confidence issues, coupled with a lack of communication and social skills. I have no friends to speak of, I am introverted, shy, and suffer from social anxiety. Be that as it may, I've never suffered much from patriarchy or any other toxic male trends, I never bought into the sigma male trend, just ironically. I've always had encouraging parents, who are always proud of me, and I've always looked at the female role models in my life positively. But, apart from my father with whom I'm not that connected to a deeper level, I've never had a male role model.
I could go on, and I don't know what utility the aforementioned hold, but within my college life, I was always honest with my loneliness and lack of social skills and confidence, I was never ashamed to admit it, as I'm always a honest person. But that vulnerability, inexperience, and desperation for connection was exploited by a young woman, with whom I initially wanted a more romantic bond, but I soon became seemingly satisfied with the "friendship" I had with her. I always felt stressed and anxious around her, wanting to find ways to bond with her, but vulnerability made me an easy target. Eventually, she just stopped messaging me and abandoned me as a whole, but now I feel more relieved without that weight on my shoulders.
The key word above was vulnerability, you say that men need to express their vulnerability and their emotional and physiological problems, be honest about them. I was, and look what happened to me. I do not deny that it is a good thing to express them for men, I had no qualms going to a psychologist who has been very much helpful, but we still must do it in such a way so as to avoid being seen as weak to most of the people in our lives. To explain more bluntly, we need to express our problems as men to the proper people, confront them with confidence, and become stronger men, for being strong and confident is always better than being weak and vulnerable always. All the while, we don't become seen as a target of exploitation by people stronger that us, as I've experienced.
As such, you place too much value on the first step, meaning vulnerability and weakness in order to reveal our problems, and forget the difficulty that exists of proceeding onwards to the next steps. Those next steps are becoming stronger and more confident men, both internally and socially, but due to the indirect stigma that was created on stronger and more confident men and male role models by certain elements in our contemporary pop culture, that is made difficult. Perpetuated by the binnarism (making something a binary) on confident male behavior and the difficulty we have on differentuating the healthy but confident male behavior and the toxic equivalent. We perhaps suffer from internalized misandry when we try to interact and be confident with women, that and combined with our low self esteem creates difficulties. All and all, due to the ease we have as people to understand complicated concepts on a binary model, (like politics) your message of complex understanding for complex issues gets 'bastardized' and turns into negative stigma for the norm you are trying to balance and moderate, making men feel lonely and isolated, in this case, despite their best efforts. To put it simply, traditional patriarchy hates when we are vulnerable (allot of men have no problem being nowadays), and progressivism hates it when we want to be stronger (thanks to the somewhat prevalent indirect stigma). (I might add on that in the future, but I'm finished for now, also I've only seen the video up to that point, sorry if I misrepresented it, I just wanted to get it out of my chest, might bring it up to my phycologist. Finally, because you are very knowledgeable about the topic and is very nuanced with it, I wonder if we can discuss the topic on discord, as I'm interested to see what are your views on it even further)
I appreciate you sharing your experience! Always more than happy to discuss these topics with people who disagree.
I definitely see your point here. Without any further growth, vulnerability just becomes... well, vulnerability, and obviously there's not much point to that on its own. I still think that effects of the patriarchy can make men feel more isolated / create pressure to be emotionless - partly from observations irl, but also there's a few guys in this comment section who have shared their experiences regarding that. Of course, that hasn't been your experience and that's fair! And yes, not everything can be blamed on the patriarchy; even though I feel that I see its negative effects on men, there are still more broad societal norms and institutions that can create issues.
Anyway, thanks for watching - it's really nice when people take the time to talk about their opinion instead of just saying "nope you're wrong" lol
@@MaiaCVideos One of the most nuanced comments I've ever read. (It's youtube comments so that doesn't say much, but still it's something). I like to engage with societal norms as things that must always have a drawback due to their inherent human creation, no matter what they are. As such, taking both my personal experience and what I've seen from others online, I was able to put together a criticism of broader progressivism and its unintended consequences. Nonetheless, the consequences of patriarchy are far better understood to a far larger extent thanks to decades of psychological and sociological research and analysis, as well as its prevalence.
I just wanna say that you worded perfectly what I’ve been experiencing personally as well. As a 26yo man w/ social anxiety, I have no issue being open about going to therapy and being vulnerable to male/female friends, but I quickly find myself looping in self-pity and whenever I attempt to break out of it and take that next step, lots of anxious thoughts and self-criticisms arise from that place in my mind that associates male confidence with evil harmful patriarchy. As ridiculous as it sounds, for me as a socially anxious man with very little developed social awareness, it can be really hard at times to determine whether some piece of behaviour I did/intend to do in social interactions is healthy confident behaviour or a toxic display of masculinity. I’ve had multiple occasions where I tried to come out of my shell, felt really bad/cringy/scared about something I did, only to be met with genuine surprise when I apologize.
Love this. Wanting to rewatch a lot of these with a new perspective!
As a woman living through girl boss feminism and hookup culture, I weirdly have always identified with American Psycho. The desire to be perfect and powerful and emotionless and all social interaction feeling superficial and competitive.... Hookup culture specifically pitting woman against each other if they want to "win the guy" who can get a new woman with a swipe, the devaluation of women as people and relationships on a whole while simultaneously dealing with the pressure to be hypersexual yet modest, independent yet devoted, and still beautiful and perfect as always.... It makes me feel aggression like I never felt before.... I guess thats the fleabag Era but I've always seen it in Bateman as well just the male version with a greater focus on anger rather than sadness which I appreciate. I wish there were more depictions of female rage and anger and violence due to societal pressure in general (rather than just revenge movies) like men get a lot of. It would be so cathartic.
yeah absolutely! A lot of the female equivalents are certainly more focused on revenge (gone girl, promising young woman, etc) and so we don't really have an American Psycho equivalent... I feel like Black Swan is almost like that but it's not quite the same. I'd definitely appreciate more of those type of films as well!
@@MaiaCVideos i always kind of wanted there to be a spin off of Lumen’s character in Dexter where she goes home but at some point she realizes her anger wasn’t just a reflex to her abuse and it’s much more towards a social system that makes it so prevalent and she goes back to vigilante violence to deal with it. It always made me sad she was just ~over it~ after she got her revenge just like every girl is in those stories 🙄 there would be so many opportunities for social, moral, and female experience commentary that we couldn’t get from the same angry or ASPD male perspective over and over. I’ve always loved vigilante stories like boondock saints and dexter because it’s a vicarious “i wish someone would deal with the evil in the world” feeling. Getting that story from the perspective of a woman who is a victim and doesn’t know how to heal in a world that perpetuates what happened to her and being constantly bombarded by injustice would be intense.
There won't be. Female protagonists can't even have a single unlikable flaw without everyone ranting about the protagonist being "too unlikable" and being a "bad role model for women (even when it's very obvious that they're not supposed to be a role models)".
>Hookup culture specifically pitting women against eachother if they want to „win the guy“ who can get a new women with a swipe
Ngl few things have ever made me as unbelievably angry as that statement.
@@cringelord7542 right so backwards
So you’re saying if you’re discontent with the chaos and lack of opportunities available in modern society, you should just “go to therapy” and learn to be happy with having nothing?
Therapy may not necessarily work for everyone but it's the closest to a professional approach to helping you so that you atleast don't reach a point where your dislike for society manifests into violence.you could say it's better than doing nothing.
finding happiness is a whole other issue and everyone has their own "path" when it comes to it.
@@homicidaltreestump1108 and what’s a therapist supposed to do beside put me on drugs? I get better advice from people on the internet than some professional quack whose life advice is predicated by whatever is beneficial to the ruling class.
I am a female and I relate to these male characters well. I understand the raw emotions. Humans have masculine and feminine traits. We all feel emotions differently but we all have them we just feel them and respond differently. Society needs to create a safe space for people to explore and express all spectrum of emotions. Be kind to each other and to yourself ❤
I'm a female and I relate lol
Most people find this characters interesting and wanting to related to them because of this characters being interested and complex and with a lot of development, they just go throught a lot, its just that, yet the girl in this video tries to read into something that is not that deep, as simple as that
I'll be honest, this might sting a little. You understood nothing from those movies.
All of those men are the epitome of what these guys, who relate to them, define as "masculinity".
What you're talking about is incelhood. Incels are the ones who glorify these men since they lack the 3 desires they so crave - Money, Fame, and Sex.
These characters have all of that yet they suffer. That's got nothing to do with patriarchy.
Instead, these movies represent the sheer damage that an uncontrolled man can project. A man who knows no bounds, these characters are literally dead inside and know no emotion, that goes against the traditional definition of masculinity.
Not everything results from patriarchy and not everything can be solved by therapy. Loneliness is literally the 1st cause of this behavior in people, and the world is becoming more and more lonely. You'll see more of these characters in the modern world, cuz they are born due to the modern world, not due to patriarchy.
if i ever saw jake gyllenhaal or ryan gosling in real life i think id fall to the floor crying
With the emergence of homelander with being a so called sigma it’s cool how it fits perfectly with the template u set out in this brilliant analysis/overview
ooh yeah he also really fits this!
What would happen if you give a disenfranchised person god powers? Homelander.
I will not go to therapy. Therapists ignored my problems. Told me crap adfice and did not help me. If I want to hafe someone telling me my problems do not matter, I do not need a therapist for that.😅
I can't keep track of all these kinds of males. Sigma, beta, alpha, delta, epsilon, gamma, lambda...am I missing any?
E-Mail?
Ligma
@@yanmagno3 what is ligma?
@@nikhilmakwana9522 It's a long story, I don't wanna get into it
@@Guruc13 i guess I'll never know.....
Muh patriarchy
Beer is cheaper than therapy
oh man i never noticed how many of these pieces have voice over. very interesting and totally tracks
Maia, I personally deeply appreciate how you're willing to delve into such interesting social issues and apply them to a wide range of film and TV! I've never thought much about these characters that lots of men online obsess over and why they may do so - this was such a unique and interesting video to watch! Thank you for all your hard work x
Thank you so much!! Glad you found the vid interesting :)
this video is akin to a male doing a video essay on menstruation - thumbs up
@Red Levantinist Women will always leave out the role they play in the system, preferring to scapegoat some transcendental patriarchy
ok SigMa MalE 🤡
@@gamenerd4322 And let’s see who built the system, let’s see who gave which genders which roles… oh wait, it was men!
“Literally me” characters don’t even make sense, they’re literally for depressed losers who don’t do anything about the situation their in. If you ask me, thats pretty “beta” is it not?
@@teurdle7720 gender roles arose naturally out of necessity. the system was also built by elites, a tiny selection of men. The rest of us have no part to play in deciding its formation.
There's almost nothing you can do these days, capitalism and industrial society ensures all the little depressed men stay little and depressed. So these characters embody the wishes of the little man, violent and impulsive they reflect how we are forced to live as pacified slaves for corporations and governments.
Hope is not lost though.
@@gamenerd4322cope
I'm a little late to this whole "literally me" thing and the video, but it makes me laugh to think that the satire is lost on the young boys who attach themselves to these clearly unhinged and conflicted men. The whole point of their existence is to critique the standards that are placed on men, how harmful it is to not only themselves, but to others as well, especially women but society at large. If you have a bunch of men who think bottling it all up is the solution, then you have a nation of walking powder kegs ready to explode at the drop of a hat. I can't help but laugh a bit at the fact that any character who shows the slightest hint of autism and overall has a general lack of empathy for anyone other than themselves, is somehow heralded and revered as this ideal to live up to and be, hence the "literally me".
You are not “literally me”
Guy here. I'd just like to say that this video has been a very helpfull and emotional experience for me. I've for some time had an idea that I dont really fit in. In recent memory, I've been stuck between hanging out with my guy-friends, who give me side-eye for being too emotional and therefore a pussy, and my girl-friends, who give me cold shoulder, since I am a man, and therefore to some degree a monster.
And even though it wasnt the exact point of the video, It helps me remind that I am in fact neither, and I can shed these walls of mine which hold me captive.
Thank you
glad the video hit home :)
There’s nothing wrong with a man having emotions but you have to learn to keep them in check and be in tune with your masculine side. I recommend looking into stoicism. The truth is, no one respects a weak emotional man. Not men not even women ESPECIALLY women. That’s just the hard facts of life but us men gotta learn to endure it.
@@ilikepancakes2368 That's some fucking terrible advise.
@@ilikepancakes2368 Yes, you should live like Diogenes, homeless, shitting in a bucket and showing no emotion, he's literally me
@@SGR403 it’s not. A man is his thoughts, and stoicism is a philosophy of life which is the peak of happiness. So, it’s great advise.
I like the way you twist the kaleidoscope and show old favourites with a new perspective.
thanks so much!
"because they haven't had the chance for candid conversation with others about how they feel", lmao, this is certainly a women's take on "literally me"
I literally missed the point🙂
This is certainly someone who did not get the point of the vid
@@MorganEdgy therapy is useless for men
Young and depressed man, I always related most to Donnie darko. Not in all ways but I feel like he’s less toxic and violet than many other of these characters. He’s simply confused and unwell. Lost in a world.
That’s just my opinion, it’s certainly not good to relate to him but it that’s simply my feelings.
This video is terrible for many reasons but the simple fact that you used American psycho to explain a lot of your points is the worst one
Men don't need therapy. What makes us feel so terrible and broken, is that we cannot express our real feelings, emotions, and nature. We gotta live by rules that makes us weak, suppressed, empty, pointless. It makes no sense for us, it feels alien. But we constantly have to live by the rules of society, and there is no place to run. You regret your own existance.
You know, I've been to countless of therapests, they never were able to figure what's my problem, they never made any sense. I now live by my rules, there is no society, it's what makes me feel good finally
I'd actually strike Alex DeLarge from the list, since he's fundamentally different than the other characters you mentioned. He's just pure evil and rotten, and loves his way of life, as opposed to like, Joker 2019 who was pushed to a violent state by his mental struggles.
Great video though! A pleasant message at the end. Also, your definition of 'patriarchy' was really concise and well done, I really appreciate you doing that. I think many people become alienated from these ideas just because of gut reactions they have, probably by association to other things, it's unfortunate.
thank you! you're right, Alex DeLarge is different from lots of the other characters; I've seen him in a decent amount of "literally me" memes so I kept him in, but I agree with you
@@MaiaCVideos That's surprising to hear honestly lmao, since he's so evil. But I guess some people identify with his confidence/ way he carries himself? Idk. I think the idea was that like, he's such an immoral person, but he loves life in such a genuine way, and you as the viewer are meant to feel the dissonance, and *maybe* that's how someone could say "literally me"
What do you think of that film, by the way, a Clockwork Orange? I love it, such horrifying images that it's really been stuck in my brain since I watched it, the haunting music as well
@@charliedeese6272 It's funny. That's why he's in a few of those memes. That's it. Not really as deep as Ryan Gosling's movies where it's genuine connection.
you cant stop me from becoming napoleon
Me identifying as Asurbanipal:
Logically sound commentary, but I think misguided.
The connection many men feel to these characters doesn't stem from their sadness or loneliness within a "patriarchy" (not touching that subject any further), but because they display valuable traits like stoicism, self control, some level of reflection and self-reliance. They are "literally me" not because they are hurt by dysfunctional societal norms but because they are goal-driven and autarchic IRRESPECTIVE of their surroundings. Maybe that's why it's easy for many to project themselves onto these characters since it's the journy towards these goals that are at the forefront and not the specific characters themselves.
THE common theme in the movies you mention is purpose - dysfunctional societal norms are merely one of the various scenarios wherein this purpose can unfold.
As a man with schizophrenia, I've been there and still am. And its nothing short of a curse. Sometimes these characters hit close to home because they feel and say things that are familiar.
You start off relating to their lives, but then you notice that it's almost like a mockery of your own, just made into a joke for others to laugh at. Entertainment, like you yourself have been for others. That's all you are, laughing stock from day one.
Ironically therapy worsened my condition. I believe it is complete garbage, a scam for reeling vulnerable people to sell them pharmaceuticals. To any men reading this, do not go to armchair "therapists" and in my experience female therapists have been the absolute worst. I was prescribed medication that had severe withdrawal effects on me. Complete detachment, it got so bad at a point that I started to physically maim and hurt small animals, notably cats. As shameful as it was, at the time it felt completely out of control.
damn dawg, honestly go to inpatient care
Hope things are better for you now
El único patriarcado que existe es el que tengo aquí colgado.
Yep
I think one of the key aspects is also capitalism. Men are wandering around with a disaffection with their life and don't recognise capitalism's role in it.
This even includes the physical shape of society. It is designed to be isolating and atomise communities because it helps to sell cars and a miriad of other goods. (There's also the racist and classist aspect of it, car dependency is good at maintaining race and class segregation)
anarcho- socialist cope harder
Well, if only women were okay dating broke men and giving them love. This problem wouldn't exist.
Oh, but women don't want to be forced to lower their standards.
@shaivjoshi4063 1) That's just called classism.
2) The solution to classism is to destroy capitalism.
3) I'm not sure exactly what you mean by "this problem" but if you think going on a date will fix things, you're wrong about that.
@@lizb7271 No. But making men feel like real humans and not ATMs is a good start.
Men want to earn money because they think they can get a family who loves them with it.
But alas. Men are never loved unconditionally.
You are proving it yourself.
Without money you will due and you need to work.
A man is willing to work to death for your love. For you to spit on his face and values.
Cool video.
Shinji Ikari is more of a tragic relatable character than a cool one. The series is very explicit in telling you it's basically every adult in charge of him's fault he is the way he is, because they just use him like a gun. If the gun works, great. If it doesn't, throw it away. Whenever he commits violence it's a toss up whether he's going to be heroic, villainous, in horrible danger, or tragic. His journey is also about him overcoming his problems, not succumbing to it.
Thanks! I hear Shinji's character discussed a lot but admittedly haven't seen Evangelion, so it's interesting to hear more about him
@@MaiaCVideos If you ever watch it I'm going to warn you. The explanation of what the plot actually is only occurs in the last 3 episodes, and it amounts to "bad thing will happen". It sets everything in motion, but the actual themes are about the characters you're watching for 98% of the show. So don't get caught up on trying to figure out what the plot is because it isn't possible until they say a couple sentences of explanation at the end, and it really doesn't matter beyond "bad thing will happen".
I think Shinji is supposed to be a 'little bitch' in order to represent the tragedy of the modern young male, who is beset by many issues that they are unable to handle. This ultimately brings tragedy to the world, which I think is beautiful and precise for how much modern society has failed them, and to find warmth they think they must burn everything, but leaves nothing but tragedy and misery. Just beautifuly tragic.
@@greekswaglord-dathistoryla201 I watched the Rebuild Films and that lead me to re-analyzing End of Evangelion. And I'm genuinely curious why you'd say it's tragic.
I’m a neurodivergent woman, and for most of my life, I’ve felt like an outcast. In middle school, I was very angsty and had pent up anger. Opening up to others about it felt unproductive, because people often assumed that my frustration had something to do with school drama, romantic relationships, etc, instead of the innate challenges of neurodivergence. My disdain for everything and everyone progressed to the point where I fantasized about killing other people in brutal ways, and even wrote poems about it. I fortunately no longer feel this way, but it irritates me that some people think that only boys and men can be in that mental state.
I'm working on a satire of this concept. It's got a brooding main character who lashes out batman style to let out his aggression as a young man. but now he's older and stuck in that lifestyle, the conflict is him getting out of his violent past and becoming a better friend and father.
I don't necessarily disagree with your video, but don't think you actually have made any point.
She literally used American psycho as an example many times which is the most idiotic thing ever
Do i need to explain why ?
Literally Me
By your definition of patriarchy, aren’t women also the ones placing unrealistic expectations on men based on who they find conventionally attractive and who they find worthy of ridicule? It is not the “patriarchy” calling men incels when we struggle with mental illness and loneliness, it’s mainly women.
It's not mainly women who shame men for not having a lot of sex. It's other men.
@@I_Vetta it’s both. Women are just more discreet about it.
Bro what 💀the first thing you went goes both ways, a lot of guys want a big booty, big titty girlfriend who wants sex like a women wants a 6’6 buff successful businessman who wants commitment (going about this in the stereotypically way you’re describing it). The shit goes both ways. Speaking of that do you not think women also have to struggle with mental illness and loneliness and if you say “but women have more people to talk to so their loneliness isn’t as bad” then I guess you could blame the “patriarchy” for that one. Your using all this gender war, “well actually! 🤓” nonsense. You’re what you described man, an incel
I don’t even understand my feelings enough to say why I relate to a certain character beyond something basic
it's almost insulting how you can be so wrong yet talk like you're right
Left wing women 100% of the time. Like, nothing she said is true in any way yet she talks to confidently
@@KolyaUrtz women are inherently leftists
CLICK BAIT!!!
Society's norms doesn't mean patriarchy. "Literally me" charecters suffers from societal norms, but it doesn't benefit any men.
The video title is about patriarchy yet these carecters didn't suffer from actual patriarchy.
I also like those kinds of characters. For me, it's more about existential questions. These are nihilistic characters who are looking for meaning in their lives. Even if they switch their positions from wrong to right, or right to wrong, in their lives, not much changes. For me, it's more about seeing a character discovering moral ambiguity.
Although this is a good video that analyses why many young men relate to characters in this certain type of film where men feel they can only express emotion or forms of active living through violence and extremism, you did in fact forget to credit ME as the main actor in all of these films, I worked hard to give you all these roles through extensive traditional and new wave acting techniques, and the fact that you didn't credit that I am literally all of these characters deeply upsets me, do better
i think you missed out on the intersection between patriarchy and capitalism here. several of these characters have pretty explicit conflict with the system of capitalism, fight club most obviously, but also lou from nightcrawler, joker, and patrick bateman. Failing under capitalism has pretty obvious negative effects on characters lives (and men who relate to them) but even success in the capitalist framework is dehumanizing and gives you little or no satisfaction.
yeah that's a great point! there's definitely a struggle with capitalism in most (if not all?) of these films
Go to therapy ? Easier said than done
boooy is this ripe for a whole lot of analysis! almost all of these movies/series are amazingly well reviewed and acclaimed (id also add Le Samourai, from 1967 with a proto-driver-from-drive/john-wick sort of protagonist, and probably also the protagonist of the clint eastwood trilogy of westerns by sergio leone) and typically considered "film bro" movies. i know most of these movies were my film teacher's most beloved modern movies, and the ones that influenced a lot of writing from my classmates. most of all, there is definitely an interesting side that not all, but a good amount of these movies have indeed a character rebelling against a system, that has either let them down or alienated them completely, through violent means -a sort of individualistic-masquerading-as-popular personal revolution. this is all while reflecting and relating real men's feelings, and real fantasies. in a sense perhaps that is the ultimate fantasy, that of realizing your own angst-fueled loneliness and inadequacy, that which makes you special and different from the mass, and successfully reaching a sort of catharsis by force. its being an outcast, being special and being validated all at once.
i also want to add the possibility of identification with other lonely/alienated characters without this type of violent revolution (the ones who begin powerless and end, in a sense, still powerless), such as the ones in The Double, Adaptation and Her. these have a similar focus on alienation but also on emotions, relationships and on the lack of meaningful bonds with others. i felt this huge sympathy and identification to them while watching these movies, to an almost uncomfortable extent... even though i am a woman. i have a feeling that what allowed me to fully relate to them (perhaps even in that "Literally Me" sort of half ironic way) is precisely the fact that, with no manifestation of violence to be witnessed as an attempt to claim a sense of power, these characters are not as unsettlingly real and threatening to me as a patrick bateman or a travis bickle. im also now wondering how these characters, both the ones who lash out violently, and the ones that stew on their own depressive feelings without a way out, can affect real life people -maybe making people feel seen through that identification, or validating peoples depression in a way that could be seen as idealized. its a thorny issue that i think deserves a lot of scrutiny.
aaah yes so many good points there!! particularly looking into that idea of the lonely but non-violent characters is v interesting. thanks for watching :)
I was taught be a man don’t be weak
Personality: Upgraded
Replace the word “Patriarchy” with “feminism” and suddenly your entire video makes sense.
She’s a feminist why would she do that?
Jack was the main character. None of the other characters exist
I feel particularly relatable to batman in the batman since he is potrayed as being distant and cut off with those around him, but ultimately strives to be better and learn to love. Sometimes when emotions get too much for you its easier to feel nothing at all.
Really good video, great analysis, great editing, great choice of ambience and a surprisingly wholesome, objective, rational and just overall true take on these topics. This deserves way more views. At first I was sceptical about a woman making a video about "literally me", which, granted sounds a bit bad when I say it like that but I think this is just the result of spending alot of time on todays Social Media where you get this sense of feminism being toxic or masculinity being synonymous to incel pushed by these vocal polarizing sides and I dont know how to word it properly I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. Maybe I'm wrong about that and the origin of my scepticism is just a mysogynistic thought process, but I like to believe this isnt the case. Anyways, 10/10, let's see Paul Allens video essay
Thanks so much!! Social media is definitely super polarized so your initial reaction makes sense - I'm glad the vid ended up resonating with you despite that :)
Decent video but I think it's a little presumptuous or lazy to just say men are depressed or unfulfilled because of patriarchy. There's more going on in SOCIETY
fair enough, I think it's a combination of both!
thanks for making a video about me!
I completely disagree mostly since a good majority of people who love these movies are doing it ironically or because of the substance not because of the patriarchy, nevertheless good analysis
fair enough, thanks for watching :)
As a male teen who spends probably too much time on social media, namely tiktok, I'm absolutely surrounded by so many videos on my feed romanticizing these characters. Some ironic/satire, some authentic, but mostly in between as described in this video
It's very much a real thing and I think some people are oblivious to the full extent of this trend because they don't fit the demographic and aren't catered these types of videos
@@gabrielsweg3593 yeah I think it’s because u spend too much time on social media, maybe get a hobby (not saying it in rude I’m just saying it’d genuinely help out)
The empathy towards men is well meaning, but the analysis is flawed.
Men dont want therapy : they don't need therapy, in fact, therapy very rarely works for men.
Men don't reject the expectations of society : but they need to have the means to fulfill them.
Men need a job where they feel like they're making a difference, a salary that can sustain a family, and friends to share fun times with.
That's literally it.
There's no deep socio-political patriarchal machinations : just give them a house, a family, and bowling night.
This is quickly becoming my favorite channel
aw thank you!
I haven‘t even seen the video but it’s literally me
She should’ve put the movie brothers into this because he is one of the literally me characters.
Why you're calling it the patriarchy then? It implies that men are the reason how things are. We were fine when society was traditional, but good things come to an end.
Why are all my personalities in this video?
Hate to break it to you, but this is kinda all wrong. You say men feel depressed from patriarchal oppressions on them, when in-fact, the reason is this: society today is so against traditional patriarchal masculinity, and these “literally me” characters feel depressed cause they have no way of expressing it. There MASCULINITY is bottled up cause its kinda frowned upon nowadays, so they have no way of expressing it. Except when they do, which they do in these movies.
Great video and well edited.
She forgot Bocchi the Rock and Erin Jaeger when it comes to the "literally me" trend. This is just a selection to fit a certain narrative. Also, "The Patriarchy" doesn't exist, it's just an ideological construct of feminism.
no amount of explanations is gonna cut it, the use of patriarchy you chose is something that doesn't need the word "patriarchy" to be categorized... "look patriarchy is not that, is not that and not that either"... yeah, now tell me that patriarchy defines the last car model put out by Toyota... Patriarchy, nowadays, only has a silly meaning, and the use of the word (in this age, again) can't be redeemed. So much so that it won't survive in a few decades at most.
not sure if similar topic, but it was surprising to me to see comments from men after the recent The Boys season, saying that Soldier Boy was right about all the 'real men' stuff
bread from bread (2022) is literally me
thanks
I wonder if bocchi the rock is only ironically called a "literally me" character... she is the only female character i know of often called that and i think she finds emotional expression and growth in her music (also it's nice to see a comedic warm representation of people struggling with social phobia) ... i don't know, just wonder what you think of her character...
Useless character loved by anime coomers
@@madhumitakumari1617 I think your argument is weak, even without anime pp
I think that the reasons most men cant seems to find the reasons behind their suffering is that we have no memories of socialisation. I imagine that most women have memories of their parents telling them not to do something when they were children, then later in life, they realize the reason they were told not to do this or that, was because it wasn’t lady like. Few men have memories of them someone told them not to cry or to always strife for sexual dominance. The socialisation into being a man is a very silent one.
I also belive a huge issue amongst men is the confusion between sex and intimacy. The reason people think that men only want sex is that they confuse their desire for intimacy for sex, as intimacy is seen as feminine. Now this is just me, and maybe some women feel that same, but I dont get the same satisfaction from intimacy (in this sense, a comforting hug) if it comes from a same sexed person than if it was from a person of the opposite sex, and I suspect I am not alone in this.
Are you sure you're reffering to the term "patriarchy" accurately? I feel like you talk about "toxic masculinity" but calling it "patriarchy".
Also: Brandon Lee from The Crow, Guy Peirce from Memento, Mad Max, Jimmy Darmody from Boardwalk Empire and Jake Gyllenhaal from Nightcrawler.
100% agree, I like these films but I've always felt distanced from them because the pain these men feel is self-indulgent and fixable. I'm guessing deep-down they're looking for escape and meaning in a meaningless world but they're choosing to hold onto 'anger at _society_ is justified' when it's really a defence mechanism against being vulnerable and self-reflective (also, the audacity of thinking society will change just cause you want it to!).
In life, we all have three choices:
1. Change who you are (become cleverer, more interesting, kinder),
2. Accept who you are (warts and all) or,
3. Live in this awful no-mans land of denial and self-hatred where nothing feels good, you want to be a different person but you're unwilling to make that happen. This is the worst option but the one most readily chosen.
Women don't really get to live in anger and violence, our depressions and anxieties usually manifest inwardly, via self-harm (cutting, abusing drugs/alc, letting guys use you for sex). Men start fights, women cut themselves. True Detective/Sharp Objects.
Another trope is the anti-heroes who 'save the girl' by committing egregious acts of violence against her murderers/rapists (The Crow, John Wick, Memento), which, as a chick myself, I dgaf about your little redemption arc mate, I'm dead, you won't find meaning in your life by killing my killers. Find meaning elsewhere, in your own life (absurdism). I don't need no 'defending'.
totally agree, great points. thanks for watching!
Female versions of these "literally me" mentally unstable characters also exist: Gone Girl is in the same vein as American Psycho, and the heroines from Black Swan and I, Tonya are very similar to Joker in their decent into madness.
What interests me, however, is whether there are any movies with such characters, but Black or Asian? Because I can't remember a single one, but I want to make a video about such characters) So if you know any, please comment🙏🏻
Very true, there's definitely lots of female equivalents as well.
I struggle to think of any Black or Asian examples, unfortunately! The best I can think of is some (obviously Asian) characters in anime - Shinji from Evangelion is sometimes looked as a literally me character, and Mima from Perfect Blue is very similar to Nina from Black Swan if you want a female example
MALE ARE THE BEST
This would be a better video for a much later time in the future where people have faced much more death and horror.
Most men commenting can't take the current system seriously (some call the patriarchy) which is why they are ironic about it.
They need not commit violence as much as they need to be the victims of violence..
They need love torn away from them and they need guilt raped into them for doing what is necessary just to survive.
They need a good long point where they can't see the end except for suicide.
Let the weak kill themselves then the desperate who survive will still be strong but they'll understand to take the world seriously.
There is far too little violence and dispair in their world for them to start taking things seriously so they say their worthless little jokes.
They're better off dead than pretending they can cope with the luxury they've been given to squander.
It's people who need to be beaten down and have their flaws ripped out of them by force. Not just men.
If the fear of death isn't enough to straighten them out then they need to die.
That's how it's always worked in minecraft at least.
go off senator Armstrong
Why are you so WOKE
Because she's an intellectual and a woman and that ideology appeals to her and validates her.
I think you place too much emphasis on how patriarchy dictates the model men should follow without acknowledging that women themselves perpetuate the same model for men to follow.
Unrelated but some other characters from anime can also count.
Shinji, Denji, Hiro, Kiryu.
But I actually relate to one of the side characters from Vinland Saga. It's the slave master.
He's kind and loving, he treats everyone with respect and even give lend land to his slaves so they can work and buy back their freedom.
But at the same time, he's weak willed and weak minded, and in the era he's in. Is weak and unfit as a man. And although he is kind and loving. He will not let go of his favorite slaves. The girl he is fond of and always vent to for example will never know freedom and since he is weak willed and was even scared of his own son. He was pressured into beating children for stealing for their parents.
I can see myself in him. I don't know about kind and loving. But I am weak willed and feeble minded and I am sure that if I were to have a slave that is willing to listen to me for my complaints and struggles and fear. Basically be vulnerable. Then I will not let her go. Even if I know that it is wrong.
Literally me characters are a caricature of modern men's hardships and struggles with fitting in and being part of the society.
We may joke about it. But we do feel the loneliness, and we sympathize with the actions. Patriarchy is not at fault. It's the vain modern culture that prefers instant gratification instead of deep and genuine connections.
I have many friends but the only ones that I genuinely care and would vent to would be my family. My dad, mom, sister and brother. Because I feel genuine when I'm with them. Whereas when with friends. I can feel disassociated and lonely even when we're hanging out.
personally i love some of the character that you mentioned on the video because we kind of having the same problem i would instead of go to people and talk to them because i don't trust anyone with my feeling's he might use it against me some day who knows so i would post an ig story and saying it me and that's when the real people that knows me very will they will know that im going through something
so when i point to a character and saying (literally me) i doesn't mean that im a fucking maniac
we just got the same problems
sorry if the comment has a lot of misspelling words or grammar
You really don't understand these films. True, people like Tate and other scummy film bros don't either, but you certainly don't. And no, candid convo with others ain't the solution. Many of these men irl vent and it ain't helped them at all cause nobody does anything.
Therapy and talking about your feelings will not save anyone from capitalism: For instance, being a taxi driver or an office drone ;)
Nevertheless, nice video.
And what would you replace capitalism with? Socialism? Communism? Lol. So you want to either FURTHER hyper-inflate our currency more than it already is (THANKS LEFTISTS! REALLY APPRECIATED THAT ONE! JUST HAD TO GET RID OF THE "BAD" ORANGE MAN, RIGHT? LOL!), having it the country collapse into even MORE criminality just to survive the week OR give ALL power/personal ownership to an authoritarian dictatorship as the county devolves into bread lines and basically slave labor? Which do you prefer?🤣🤣
Literally me
It's insane how you managed to look at this phenomena which clearly points to modernity and humans as causes and somehow manage to blame patriarchy...
This was interesting to watch and I guess i understand the female perspective a bit better but I have to say you vastly overstate the role of "patriarchy" in men's lives. I feel you could replace that word with just "general societal isolation" and it would be more accurate for us. I don't want to downplay its impact on womens lives as i know next to nothing about that and therefor can't make any informed judgement but I can say with confidence that the vast majority of us has never even heard the word "patriarchy" from our fellow man. About the Tiktok character analyses part, the real difference is not any kind of overhead pressure, but that the short funny memes are more of a coping mechanism to stop themselves from wanting to commit suicide. Humor is the best medicine or whatever. And it's not like men are incapable of writing any of that stuff either, it's just something done in more serious environments than Tiktok. The reason mental health issues in men are more likely to get brushed under the surface and left to bubble up is just because we all want to be the best version of ourselves, getting back at the world, which is why people are motivated to go to the gym and whatnot. It's a personal goal, not an effort to please the society that we have disconnected from so much. Men tend to become much more individualistic when they go through these crises because the only person you can rely on and trust is yourself. Personally I've gone to ~5 different therapists and none of them have meaningfully improved my situation because they just don't understand me. No other living soul does, and I don't expect them to. But the gym weights do. "No pain no gain" as it is said. Anyway I don't mean any disrespect by what I've said, we all have our thoughts and beliefs n shit, and I myself have been interested in content that challenges my worldview as a cis straight male. Just thought i'd put in my 2 cents.
You forgot about Rick Grimes!
That's literally me!!