It's so strikingly feminist because it's NOT virtue signaling. She constantly struggles and falls back to coping mechanisms which are usually unhealthy. It's real in a way we rarely have the privilege of seeing.
I think what’s so clever about Fleabag and its approach to feminism is that it does well to make feminist commentary whilst also critiquing the movement. That nuance is so refreshing!
I love the statue of the female form and how it’s quite literally a symbol of her feminine power (“It’s worth a lot”, “Can I have it?”). She steals it first for the wrong reasons (to piss off a woman that she hates), then finally takes it back for the right reason (to symbolize the feminine strength her mother embodied but that she never really got to fully learn from- the statue was based off her mother as we find out). Her godmother is a shallow, virtue signaling, insecure fake feminist (which Fleabag might see as a warning for what she could become) and her sister is similarly not truly empowered (obsessed with appearances and judgment from others despite her own incredible merit and success). Her mother was something of a perfect woman in retrospect (maybe bc she was that awesome or that’s just how we think of dead loved ones and the characters seem to also) but her place in the series is literally on a shelf, headless and leg less, a symbol without any agency that can easily be summed up in how Fleabag first sees her (“Tits”). She could be something more. Fleabag isn’t just stealing her when she takes her back at the end; she’s taking her with her as an active symbol, a reminder of how she has value even when others aren’t using her. Her body can just exist anywhere, for no one’s pleasure, and she’s still “worth a lot”.
Fleabag to me has the best portrayal of a "modern woman" because it shows all the good and bad that can stem from femininity and how the expectation of being a woman in today's society can create toxic patterns and behaviors that are hard to break out of. There is no such thing as a "perfect" feminist woman. Fleabag is a great character not because she is unapologetically honest and quick witted, but because she is deeply flawed and hurting.
ah!!! no idea this type of feminism had a name, this is "nihilist dissociative feminism" has definitely been my way of thinking for the past year and fleabag perfectly encapsulates this!
You know, I think Fleabag is kind of the female equivalent of Fight Club in that it says a lot of good and interesting things, but a subset of the fans identified hard with the protagonist (fine) but...very clearly missed a lot of the main points.
so so true!! I was actually just thinking about this after making my most recent vid-Fleabag often faces the same thing as Joker, Fight Club, etc. where viewers take away some of the wrong ideas from the main character
@@MaiaCVideos I'm getting Diane in the later seasons of BoJack Horseman vibes. People justifying their bad behaviour through their role models, rather than seeing the larger critique of those deeply flawed, but well constructed and even charming characters. I'm thinking worshipping a single "good" God might have been a mistake.
@@FlyingcupNsourcer Coming from a society where most people are atheist on paper but worthship anything they have at hands, worthshipping is a mistake period but it doesnt cause this phenomenon. Imo this phenomenon and worthship are different manifestation of the same human needs. If you like something, especially somebody, it is easier to ignore its/their downside. Some of my family members constantly make the same mistakes. Some friends cant get enough of a toxic relationship that is fucking them up. Some so starve for attention and intimacy they accept prospects that already prove to be harmful from an outside perspective etc. We are so used to being irrational it become rational to be.
Maybe it's an unfortunate result of people thinking the protagonist's views and philosophies must always be in line with the message a show is trying to convey.
You can adore a main character and still be intelligently critical enough to pick up on the main points. Nice if you to patronise, as if, if you were to like the character of Fleabag, you have to not be getting something. Please, stop being judgemental + why not just recognise the genius of Phoebe.
i never really like how characters in media interact with feminism because they try to define it with rigid structure. But this essay made me so happy that there is a piece of media out there that doesn't try to be perfect in its depiction, but honest from a specific point of view. Thank you so much for this video essay!! I appreciate it so much!
I think the writers make it very clear that this lifestyle of Fleabag’s is not making her happy and shouldn’t be glorified. Like yes she has sexual freedom which is not something that should be shamed but at the same time, it doesn’t make her happy. It also causes her to be very manipulative, cruel and uncaring toward the men in her life. All of her destructive actions contribute to her continuing to feel very alone, isolated and unhappy. Are we bad people for enjoying her antics and laughing at the shit she does? Absolutely not. But we should also be aware that the stuff she does should not be glorified as feminism. The writers aren’t doing that and they are VERY aware at her flaws and why exactly she’s unhappy.
After i finished season 2 of the show, I immediately went out and got the word "fleabag" tatted on my wrist. During a time in my life when I thought I was genuinely unloveable, the show and the character of Fleabag helped me to realize how much of what I perceived as other people's problems with me - their disrespect, their emotional neglect, their angst - had nothing to do with me or what I imagined was something hateful and wrong inside of myself. Instead, it had everything to do with those other people and their own trouble navigating life. Fleabag believes that her sister, her father, her step-mom, and her lovers all have a problem with who she is and she internalizes that to form ideas about herself. But I think all of those people really admire her spirit, her freedom, her vulnerability as much it scares them. The show helped me to realize that sometimes other people see things in you that both attract and terrify them and that's okay.
For me dissociative approach to feminism was inevitable ever since in about mid-2010s the internet was flooded with posts like "oh, I love other women/girls so much, girls are so amazing, G I R L S" or posts in bisexual spaces by bisexual women who put down men in a lot of ways while singing praises to women (I'm bi myself), especially since I saw this often combined with excusing "mean girl" characters like Regina George and portraying them essentially as helpless victims of their circumstances. It's hard for me to be so enamored with other women (and people in general) when they've bullied me as much, if not more, compared to men during my school years - in particular, it was those popular/rich "mean girls" and unpopular, pre-incel-ish gamer guys who were mean to me. I AM a feminist, but that doesn't change the fact that I don't like most people altogether too much, and that's not any different for women. Maybe that's messed up in some way, but I'd like to fight for women's rights without needing to be enthusiastic about any group of people in general
It's such an annoying overcorrection to the "all girls are catty and female friendships are fake" sentiment. Hope we can grow out of it soon because the whole "girls are so perfect! i love all women!" sentiment is just as unhealthy
I feel like the majority of women misinterpret feminism as "women perfect, men bad". People in general tend to have a binary mentality and need to be able to put people, or groups of people, into categories of good/bad, without room for any exceptions or grey areas. It's not just about seeing women as equals with men, they need to be elevated, put on a pedestal, their flaws excused and justified. The same thing in essence and yet exact opposite in reaction is cancel culture: it's not enough to dislike someone, people need the crutch of making them "morally inferior" in some way and spend hours digging through social media trying to find something incriminating enough to make them "a bad person". Feminism for me has only helped me get rid of certain biases I may have had as internalized misogyny, but I find it extremely hard to deal with feminists who refuse to accept that women can (and sometimes are) horrible people, and the simple fact that they're women doesn't change or excuse that.
I’m not sure I agree that Fleabag romanticizes self-destruction. It’s awkward and uncomfortable, nothing about it is meant to be desirable. Personally I can identify with the kind of trauma that I think initiated her self-destructive tendencies, and as such, it’s nice to see a depiction of a flawed human being working to get better. There was that quote in season 2 about women being born with pain, but all of season one revolves around Fleabag mourning Boo and feeling essentially broken.
Fleabag made me cry, because it made me feel seen. I wrote an entire essay on it in college soon after it came out. I think seeing myself in the main character changed the trajectory of my life in a small way and that I am better for it. I would argue that inner work in community is almost as important to the feminist movement as fighting political battles. A more just society that values both us as people and celebrates our female traits cannot come from a mindset rooted in the uncaring patriarchy. Fleabag shows us why it is important to care about the important things, even if it kills us to care about anything at all after all we’ve been through. It shows us how we can reconcile the armor we have grown to survive with the vulnerability our hearts demand. It shows us that we are valuable in ourselves, and that there is hope for when we screw things up. That is a lesson that I think could benefit every woman, and help set us free.
@@DR-nh6oo @Júlio Cesar You can't have a "perfect" activist movement in a world where there is nothing to change. That's why I commented - the point is moot, since apparently you cannot have "perfect feminism" - period. Though that's fine - humans aren't perfect, why should their movements be?
Now I feel like I should say, I'm just saying this for people who might say "eww, feminism." Fleabag is NOT preachy or "woke" or at least that's not my impression. But I have no problem saying I'm a feminist man. My comment above is not meant to diminish feminism or anything.
As a guy i can't really say i relate or understand this feminism stuff beyond the obvious "equal opportunities" it's fighting for, but the show is extremely well written and acted, has very relatable and realistic characters. Never would have heard of it without this video. I just wish this kind of representation was more common in mainstream media, maybe then people outside the bubble would take these movements more seriously.
@@dlollard i know this is an old comment that you've probably forgotten all about, but i wanted to say that i appreciate the disclaimer lol. I (somewhat) agreed with your original comment but felt a bit 'icky'about liking it in fear that it was a "women can open bank accounts, stop whining about feminism" kind of comment. So thank you for making your intentions clear. It's such a small thing but i really appreciate when people do this:))
@@_-_julie_-_7834 Well, then I'm glad I added my "disclaimer"! I appreciate your appreciation. I'm just always trying to get more people to watch Fleabag!
i always hated the "women are born with pain built in" part not just because it’s pessimistic but also because how it shifts the blame to nature, from patriarchy to how it’s always been. i get how it’s comforting for people to think it’s just how i am or how it is but we have to accept that there can be a better tomorrow in order to grow
i don’t think it was shifting the blame at all. rather showing how women have grown to need thicker skin because the patriarchy makes our lives 10x harder. we are born with pain built in, periods, birth, puberty is painful for many girls! now add in a misogynistic, patriarchal world it becomes rather laughable. men literally have made a world so easy for themselves that they need to create problems just to feel what we naturally feel. it’s pointing and laughing rather than taking away blame.
@@Sophia-pt3yq as a crossdresser, pretending to take our expirience and lives. go away, you are not a part of feminism, even if you want to roleplay as one of us and even if some dellusional girls are scared to not believe you.
That is one of the few things that really pisses me off about feminism... The "men don't understand" trope, as if we wouldn't struggle as well. I do agree that there exist many privileges that are not fully fair and equal but we still struggle with huge amounts of loneliness, denied mental health issues and violence, sadly we just don't get it portrayed in massive media. If being a man would mean all perks without having to endure so much suffering we probably wouldn't be cutting our veins and throwing ourselves from 8th floors so much...
Well, it's generally people aren't a HotMess themselves (so they don't relate), and also often have to deal with people like her in real life, so it's just like "ugh, *this* bitch."
Feminism is a diverse movement and the issues it covers very complex, so it is natural for us to struggle figuring out our relationship with it. Our perception of it is influenced by so many things including the media (mostly patriarchal), social media, prejudice, our own experience with the patriarchy, etc. To me, it is helpful to remember this when confronting the nuances of feminism that I don't feel to be aligned with or living up to enough.
Great video. I no longer enjoy dissociative nihilism - it's edgy, reflects privilege, and honestly, is overused in grimdark movies and shows (ugh, The Boys) - so it was nice to see Fleabag grow out of that and develop a healthier relationship with herself.
@@silverprimus321boi9 it's capitalist realism, mate. Shows you repeatedly that everyone who wants to change the system is doomed to fall and become as brutal as their opponents. It's the same basic messaging as Animal Farm
the message and tone of fleabag is pretty different from the topic a show like the boys deals with. not every show should deal with the same kinda topic.
It's so sad that people watched fleababg and all they took from it was essentially a tumbler sad girl persona. but sadly this happens all the time to complex characters
Nobody has pain built in. Saying things like that will make it impossible to get better and have a good life. Naturally some amount of pain will come to anyone who's ever lived, but if you feel as though you can't recover from trauma, beleiving that it's built in will make you feel it's inevitable and stop you from recovering.
Wow your video essays are really well made! We like the same movies and shows. I have a question on how I could start making video essays as well. Where can I find clips of the movies and shows legally and post them?
thanks so much! I usually just download clips from youtube :) channels like "Movieclips" have clips available, and there's also a lot of videos available on youtube that editors use-just look up something along the lines of "(character/TV show name) logoless scenepack" and there's often lots available!
@@MaiaCVideos ohhh okay thanks so much. I thought the editing clip packs were like stolen because I’m pretty sure they download off illegal website. But anyway thanks.
I was rewatching the show and the episode where she goes to the silent retreat has some feminist remarks, but the one that caught my attention the most and that is not right in your face, at least not for me, is the fact that men are asked to shout while women are asked to be quiet. I can believe it took so long to realize that, but that’s the beauty of fleabag, it’s always something different.
There's a steep contradiction between 3:05 ("Fleabags traits are generally more acceptable in men") and FB 's monologue at 0:27 (about people who make [her] feel bad about her reaction to their sexual inappropriateness). We're seeing the same behavior and getting a real-time verdict on what's more socially acceptable.
I think it put me off as it felt very north london and kitsch and cliche ridden - It is a shame that that part of our culture (North London being the Portland of England) gets exported abroad. It misrepresents how much more interesting subtle and nuanced UK culture is or can be.
I like the comparison to dissociative feminism.. I'm a man so I can't speak to a woman's perspective but we have our own struggle of trying to find genuine friends, and having hope is an awesome message regardless of ur gender.. (just some dumb ramblings haha)
Hi, I'm currently writing an essay about fleabag and feminism and I found this video very helpful. Would it be possible to share the name of the interview referenced here 3:25?
Even when beauty fades you still keep real relationships, the ones that are based on a human connection. If all your relationships are based on beauty then you might just be manipulating people to like you by your looks. I have seen men and women do this, and regardless of gender, you might die alone unless you can find out how to make friends the way you did in your first grade of school. See someone do something, ask them why they did it that way, and then ask if you can play along too. It is the simplest thing and it is lost when we get stuck in our own heads and worry about things instead of changing them. 'It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish. ' - Samwise Gamgee
Im interested in the take that ‘dissociative feminism’ is associated with privilege, Im not sure that I see any real link there. It seems to me as if this form of feminism is ripe for the most underprivileged women? Dissociation seems the most likely path for a women with no power. I get the feeling as though i am wrong here, but I cant seem to find where so I hope someone can find the time and effort to show me where I am as im really interested in this topic.
Yeah I'm happy to elaborate on that! I don't think you're necessarily wrong, you make a good point. What I was trying to get at is that those who are less privileged might not be in a position to sort of "remove themselves" from oppression the way wealthy white women often can. I talked about this example in another comment but I'll use it again: in the book My Year of Rest and Relaxation, where the main character decides to spend a year just sleeping and self-medicating, this is only possible because she's already super rich and generally privileged. That's obviously an extreme, but that's the kind of dissociation that isn't possible for some women! hope that kinda helps lol
Yes, this! I have felt this too, in a kind of 'ranking' of true dissociative feminism, in which - Women with the least power are most likely to, as a sort of practical reaction to life Women with more 'economic' privilege but bad social or emotional situations might also have authentic takes on the same Then, the women in higher positions of privilege yet with a dissatisfaction in many aspects of their life, unfulfilled by traditional feminism, and sort of 'trying this on' Don't know if I made a lot of sense there 🙃
This is pretty much a privileged "first world" thing, since women in a more conservative society can only play along and blame no one but themselves for systematic problems that are caused by patriarchy. Why? Because the only option that they have is to fit in. I know this since I'm from one of those conservative countries where not having a religion is not recognized by the government. It's sad that in this era, patriarchy and discrimination are still very real.
I think it’s sort of similar to how a lot of people on the internet tend to be like “oh, all politicians are the same”. For example, I had a uk Labour (unofficial) discord mod say they’d prefer the Conservative party over the Labour Party because the Labour Party wasn’t left enough for him. And like, that’s cool for you straight cis dude who can afford to spend 24/7 online, but how about the fact that there’s like 1 loud transphobe in the Labour Party, and pretty much all of the Conservative party are? It’s privileged in the way of “you can only afford to have this position because you don’t have as much skin in the game”.
There was one movie that inspired my sister to become what she wants and that she can achieve everything and that was Alien. We were all huge fans of Ripley. the boys and the girls, everyone wanted to be like her. The most feminist movie ever!
When we say we’re in our fleabag era, we are acknowledging we are toxic but that it makes us no less of humans with validity living the human experience at the same time
I've never heard about this show, might check it out after this. But just from what I heard in this video, it seems like the lived reality of a woman in a western country is different from a non-western country.
I also find Undone on Prime a fantastic example of the female (and female POC!) gaze. Although the show focuses on ancestral trauma and mental health, the main character has a blunt sense of humor and begins quite flawed and cynical. As the show continues she grows and becomes less cynical but is still the same realistic, relatable female character. I highly recommend a watch to anyone who enjoyed Fleabag!
I think Fleabag is a masterpiece, but, the fanbase have a problem with identifying Fleabag = Phoebe Waller-Bridge [which she distances herself from in interviews], coming to see Fleabag as a heroine/role-model. Upon rewatching it, I noticed a lot of similarities between the Priest and Martin [the lover and villain, respectively]. Most obviously in their alcoholism, also poignantly they both ask their partners to 'kneel' [Priest to Fleabag in her confession and Martin to Claire in the series two finale]. Made me think about the subjectivity of the whole show since you're seeing everything from the perspective of Fleabag's eyes.
Ooh that's super fascinating, I hadn't made the connection between the Priest and Martin! Fleabag definitely really influences how we view the characters / plot overall
3:02 immediately liked the video on hearing this - its exactly what i thought when i watched a mans video essay on fleabag and he described her as unlikeable and rude!
1:40 "She's very flawed [...] but most people find her remarks of the world around her painfully relatable nonetheless." You're saying that as if being flawed is an attribute that wouldn't make her more relatable in a largely broken society.
I don't know what this method is actually called but there is a method in pop culture in the music in the movies Etc. Where the song or movie starts off with a lot of things portraying feelings that are very valid for instance this one bitterness. Then the movie will shift after you've drawn in and related with the character and point that feeling in a scapegoating manner towards something. This one seems to be pointing the source of every woman's bitterness towards men. If anyone reads this comment I dare you to take this insight and start listening to the music and watching the movies for this tactic.
Maybe we should all spend less time navel-gazing and more time building and nurturing things that will last longer than we do. Not saying there's no time for introspection, but it turns out that thinking about ourselves all the time doesn't make us happy.
love this video! but i was wondering what you mean by non white able bodied women not being able to disassociate themselves from feminism. I feel like modern feminism doesnt cater to these groups anyways so i think its patronising to say we rely on it
thanks! what I'm trying to get at there is that less privileged women often lack the resources that allow them to just be passive or sort of "remove themselves" from oppression. for example, in My Year of Rest and Relaxation (book, not a movie, but same trope), in which the main character decides to spend a year just sleeping and self-medicating, this is only possible because she's already super wealthy and generally privileged. hope that makes some sense lol?
Watching the video and reading comments I realized I don't understand feminism (I naïvely thought feminism is about women's rights) and started to think what if feminism is so much a women's "thing" men shouldn't care about it simply because it's totally impossible for them to understand it.
This is like saying you are going to abandon the idea that you know what plants are because you can't identify a specific species of orchid. Just because something is complicated below the surface in such a way that it requires specialized expertise at times, doesn't mean you should go about your life pretending it doesn't exist. Sometimes other people are going to know more about something than you do. Just because this time those people are women talking about feminine themes, that's not really a good reason to try and discredit and belittle and act defensive about your lack of expertise.
@@arcanineryu one thing is our scientific knowledge of say plants from your example. Scientific knowledge is structured in a way that is made to be universally shareble i.e. when one hasn't seen even a photo of orchid in their lives they can still understand the taxonomy e.g. if orchid is a plant it's supposed to have some features all plants have like photosynthesis or something. Feminism is not a scientific knowledge, the social science studies of feminism even when done by feminists are about feminism, not the feminism itself. Feminism as a social movement is based in a very large part on emotional experiences, sometimes quite intricate, which create the foundation for solidarity when one recognizes the same emotional experience one has in other person. It's more or less the same for all social movements and the changes in the structure of such solidarity is for example what Durkheim was speaking about when he studied people moving to the cities from rural areas - people come to the cities from all kinds of environments and their life in the city is too diverse for them to have what he called "mechanical solidarity" based on the similarity of day to day experiences. Modern life creates more and more diversity in experiences and this means less and less foundation for solidarity except inside quite small groups or strata. And I suspect modern feminism as it is now is not just about the experiences of women in the Western/westernized world but rather about some particular category of Western/westernized women - mostly living in urban areas and having medium level of income. This video essay we're commenting on and the movie (TV series?) it's about seem to illustrate this quite well. And modern feminism becomes harder and harder to solidarize with for other groups of women not because something is wrong with feminism but because of that increasing diversity of experiences.
@@AntonMochalin you're confusing what you personally are being exposed to with a wider movement again. Part of intersectional feminism means understanding there's more too it than that, and putting in the effort to broaden your horizons. Yall are basically trying to redefine feminism based on what your UA-cam algorithm gives ya specifically 😒 Like as frustrating as that can be, ya kinda have to have more responsibility than that. Maybe look more into other humanities or whatever, like child psychology. Something to make ya more comfortable with thinking not according to occams razor, where the most simple solution is probably the truth. And instead by hickams dictum, where the truth can be as complex and convoluted as it damn well pleases. Like there's a lot of hoity-toity types who assumes intellectualism means bending the facts into simple and convenient forms, but that's its own form of anti intellectualism ya gotta account for.
@@arcanineryu okay but give me at least one reason why I should bother about your "intersectional feminism" (which I'm a bit familiar with after listening to some humanities lectures on Yale's YT channel)? It's just a concept that won't replace real emotional solidarity that is able to motivate one for some action. Oh and what kind of action that would be again, anyway?
@@AntonMochalin Because to understand women is a significant element of how to understand humanity in its honest form. If you fall for the dishonest trap of trying to devalue things on the basis of them being feminine, then you will never genuinely understand and value yourself. Because you will always have parts of yourself that, according to what the world will tell you, are feminine. And you will keep hating yourself for it. Without even nessasarily realizing what it is you are doing, you will keep trying to carve out pieces of yourself and discard them. That's why. As a man, the world is going to tell you over and over that it's your duty to maim and mutilate your own mind, while leaving out that the reason for doing so is to make you more easy to manipulate for the selfish benefit of themselves at the expense of you and your community. And just like how feminists and their allies have been liberating themselves by saying "you can't define women in ways that mandate me pretend I'm something I'm not. I won't let you." You have to do the same thing by unpacking the lies that get told to you. And you do that, in part, by studying women and their emacapatory politics. Cus ultimately, you start to realize that men and women have essentially been defined in ways that deny their basic humanity. But you aren't just a man, you're a person. A lot of the stuff you are told to discard is not an expression of being a failure as a man. They're your birthright as a human being. They belong to you by virtue of being a living person. And admitting that a lot of these abstract emotional things *belong to you* is how you can really take responsibility for owning yourself.
I think she’s just very toxic and she knows that. Problem is she never really wants to change herself. So instead she takes the blame on her dad, sister and her step mother. She never even apologized for what she did to her friend instead externalizes her hate.
I agree that Fleabag is very toxic, but there's a reason for that. Throughout the first season we see her reach out to other characters for help changing and finding healthy ways to deal with emotional pain, and she's repeatingly rejected, even partially by the bank manager at the end of the season
First time I heard about this show, looks neat. But I still have to giggle at the premise that the orindary 'less successful' protagonist owns a bloomin' café.
Well once you watch the show you'll realise her cafe really isn't going well in the beginning of the series. You should watch it. It's a funny show with heart wrenching character relationships and SO MANY LAYERS underneath. It's like a perfect artistic representation and analysis of women's lives and family dynamics and fucking up in life
yeah it's a really good show! like the other commenter mentioned, her cafe's actually not doing too great for a lot of the show, so it's pretty realistic on that front :)
@@MaiaCVideos yeah but like, normal people don't own things, they rent them off rich people. It still sounds like a cool show worth checking out, it's just that starting point that gave me a chuckle that's all.
@@kyleellis1825 so it does mean renting then? Doesn't actually mean owning. See that makes more sense, I bet it's that. I dunno about the iffyness of 80% closing. It's a super high number but there still must be 20% not closing next to them, right? Hers would just be one of them.
Hey, my friends tweet is in this with her picture and her twitter handle and im pretty sure you didnt ask them if you were allowed to put it in. Could you please edit it to blur the handle and picture? Thank you
i really like what ive seen of your videos and im glad theyre so successful but if your viewership is growing maybe you might consider blurring out all faces and handles, just to cover your bases. not everyone has cool friends like me hahaha :)
As a male presenting queer person, I probably wont relate to the topic of living in a female presenting person or as woman as well and probably is not for me in a way. However, I feel like I also use this witty, nihilistic attitude not only to prevent myself from being seen as "weak" or "not nonchalant", but also to avoid my own flaws. I Guess I'll give this show a shot and see how Fleabag deals with that
"expectations placed on women to be perfect and lady-like".... wait what? Women nowadays are pretty akin to dock workers in a harbor, and nobody seems to have an issue with that... where do these expectations come from?
If people keep feminism to be about legal equality and move all of the social not legally relevant issues into the "dont be an asshole" category i think a lot of people on all sides would be happier and actual issues would be addressed more effectively. Like it or not but feminism have become tainted by a vocal minority of crazy people that try to present it as matriarchism. And a not insignificance number of people avoid using the word out of fear of being lumped in with them. But then again thats just an argument for avoiding isms in general as they tend to divide more then they build support for the actual changes they claim to fight for.
I personally thought season 2 was more of a love fantasy, or any fantasy. It had many moments that were a bit too much of a stretch. I absolutely loved the first season. I can understand from Phoebe’s perspective why she would write 2nd season like that, fantasy sorts again. Maybe because not many yes sirs or ma’ams were present on the first one. The second was again, more like a fantasy, the better men for the main girls had no shortcomings of their own, were just plain perfect beautiful men for those women, this is just an example but overall some of the writing and scenarios were iffy . Except only the first episode, 2nd season was a big disappointment.
*spoiler alert* Yeah, about that. It's 'just' a series about people who hate themselves and others around them. The only warm person in the series dies because of dysfunctions of the others. There are no deeper ideology or values needed to explain or embed the series in reality, because reality is that those deeper meanings are just means to justify and misappropriate one's harmful behaviour. Whether it's feminism, mysogynism, blaming society or blaming yourself, the final effect is passing on the pain.
Let's be honest here: most feminism comes in a very similar vein as nationalism. Humans have an innate desire to latch onto a group, and direct their inner anger/frustrations out towards other groups. This is called tribalism. It's the inherent human urge to have a "us vs them" mentality. Feminism is an excuse for women to hate on men, and vent their own frustrations and anger on those they consider to be "other". Perhaps some of the frustrations are justifiable, perhaps not. But it doesn't change the fact that feminism is a toxic mentality that pits "us vs them" the same as any other form of tribalism.
Any woman who chooses to knowingly settle for less is only going to get what she deserves.... Turn me down and you are going to settle for less, its inevitable
Who wouldn't give up 5 years for a perfect body? Most men would take that trade too. Hell social security is dead so those are 5 years slowly starving on welfare anyways
@@user-dq8zj8mj6z It starts as 'people' doing translation of the human voice to the subtitles... so it actually IS people to begin with, TRAINING the AI. I just found it amusing that 'female gaze' comment in the Video Essay referring to this: THE MALE GAZE “Traditionally, the woman displayed has functioned on two levels: as erotic object for the characters within the screen story, and as erotic object for the spectator within the [cinema] auditorium.” A comment on patriarchy------ Got turned into 'The lesbian gays'. If you don't see the humour in that... maybe read more...
It's so strikingly feminist because it's NOT virtue signaling. She constantly struggles and falls back to coping mechanisms which are usually unhealthy. It's real in a way we rarely have the privilege of seeing.
Or which we often can’t show or else we are punished for it by psychopaths we knew too much about ;)
I guess you could say we are quite *privileged* to be able to enjoy something like this.
@@Guirko It's a great show...and no psychotic weirdos interfered with her progress :)
I think what’s so clever about Fleabag and its approach to feminism is that it does well to make feminist commentary whilst also critiquing the movement. That nuance is so refreshing!
yesss absolutely!
I love the statue of the female form and how it’s quite literally a symbol of her feminine power (“It’s worth a lot”, “Can I have it?”). She steals it first for the wrong reasons (to piss off a woman that she hates), then finally takes it back for the right reason (to symbolize the feminine strength her mother embodied but that she never really got to fully learn from- the statue was based off her mother as we find out). Her godmother is a shallow, virtue signaling, insecure fake feminist (which Fleabag might see as a warning for what she could become) and her sister is similarly not truly empowered (obsessed with appearances and judgment from others despite her own incredible merit and success). Her mother was something of a perfect woman in retrospect (maybe bc she was that awesome or that’s just how we think of dead loved ones and the characters seem to also) but her place in the series is literally on a shelf, headless and leg less, a symbol without any agency that can easily be summed up in how Fleabag first sees her (“Tits”). She could be something more. Fleabag isn’t just stealing her when she takes her back at the end; she’s taking her with her as an active symbol, a reminder of how she has value even when others aren’t using her. Her body can just exist anywhere, for no one’s pleasure, and she’s still “worth a lot”.
this is SUCH a fantastic interpretation wow! totally agree, much to think about there. thanks for watching :)
finished fleabag yesterday & needed to hear this. so well written
holy shit this is beautiful!
Fleabag to me has the best portrayal of a "modern woman" because it shows all the good and bad that can stem from femininity and how the expectation of being a woman in today's society can create toxic patterns and behaviors that are hard to break out of. There is no such thing as a "perfect" feminist woman.
Fleabag is a great character not because she is unapologetically honest and quick witted, but because she is deeply flawed and hurting.
ah!!! no idea this type of feminism had a name, this is "nihilist dissociative feminism" has definitely been my way of thinking for the past year and fleabag perfectly encapsulates this!
glad this resonated with you! thanks for watching :)
You know, I think Fleabag is kind of the female equivalent of Fight Club in that it says a lot of good and interesting things, but a subset of the fans identified hard with the protagonist (fine) but...very clearly missed a lot of the main points.
so so true!! I was actually just thinking about this after making my most recent vid-Fleabag often faces the same thing as Joker, Fight Club, etc. where viewers take away some of the wrong ideas from the main character
@@MaiaCVideos I'm getting Diane in the later seasons of BoJack Horseman vibes. People justifying their bad behaviour through their role models, rather than seeing the larger critique of those deeply flawed, but well constructed and even charming characters.
I'm thinking worshipping a single "good" God might have been a mistake.
@@FlyingcupNsourcer Coming from a society where most people are atheist on paper but worthship anything they have at hands, worthshipping is a mistake period but it doesnt cause this phenomenon. Imo this phenomenon and worthship are different manifestation of the same human needs. If you like something, especially somebody, it is easier to ignore its/their downside. Some of my family members constantly make the same mistakes. Some friends cant get enough of a toxic relationship that is fucking them up. Some so starve for attention and intimacy they accept prospects that already prove to be harmful from an outside perspective etc. We are so used to being irrational it become rational to be.
Maybe it's an unfortunate result of people thinking the protagonist's views and philosophies must always be in line with the message a show is trying to convey.
You can adore a main character and still be intelligently critical enough to pick up on the main points. Nice if you to patronise, as if, if you were to like the character of Fleabag, you have to not be getting something. Please, stop being judgemental + why not just recognise the genius of Phoebe.
i never really like how characters in media interact with feminism because they try to define it with rigid structure. But this essay made me so happy that there is a piece of media out there that doesn't try to be perfect in its depiction, but honest from a specific point of view. Thank you so much for this video essay!! I appreciate it so much!
aw I'm so glad you enjoyed! thanks for watching :)
she kind of reminds me of a more self-aware version of Cassie in Euphoria; their lack of self-esteem even drives both to betray their best friends
I think the writers make it very clear that this lifestyle of Fleabag’s is not making her happy and shouldn’t be glorified. Like yes she has sexual freedom which is not something that should be shamed but at the same time, it doesn’t make her happy. It also causes her to be very manipulative, cruel and uncaring toward the men in her life. All of her destructive actions contribute to her continuing to feel very alone, isolated and unhappy.
Are we bad people for enjoying her antics and laughing at the shit she does? Absolutely not. But we should also be aware that the stuff she does should not be glorified as feminism. The writers aren’t doing that and they are VERY aware at her flaws and why exactly she’s unhappy.
After i finished season 2 of the show, I immediately went out and got the word "fleabag" tatted on my wrist. During a time in my life when I thought I was genuinely unloveable, the show and the character of Fleabag helped me to realize how much of what I perceived as other people's problems with me - their disrespect, their emotional neglect, their angst - had nothing to do with me or what I imagined was something hateful and wrong inside of myself. Instead, it had everything to do with those other people and their own trouble navigating life.
Fleabag believes that her sister, her father, her step-mom, and her lovers all have a problem with who she is and she internalizes that to form ideas about herself. But I think all of those people really admire her spirit, her freedom, her vulnerability as much it scares them. The show helped me to realize that sometimes other people see things in you that both attract and terrify them and that's okay.
For me dissociative approach to feminism was inevitable ever since in about mid-2010s the internet was flooded with posts like "oh, I love other women/girls so much, girls are so amazing, G I R L S" or posts in bisexual spaces by bisexual women who put down men in a lot of ways while singing praises to women (I'm bi myself), especially since I saw this often combined with excusing "mean girl" characters like Regina George and portraying them essentially as helpless victims of their circumstances. It's hard for me to be so enamored with other women (and people in general) when they've bullied me as much, if not more, compared to men during my school years - in particular, it was those popular/rich "mean girls" and unpopular, pre-incel-ish gamer guys who were mean to me. I AM a feminist, but that doesn't change the fact that I don't like most people altogether too much, and that's not any different for women. Maybe that's messed up in some way, but I'd like to fight for women's rights without needing to be enthusiastic about any group of people in general
It's such an annoying overcorrection to the "all girls are catty and female friendships are fake" sentiment. Hope we can grow out of it soon because the whole "girls are so perfect! i love all women!" sentiment is just as unhealthy
Never actually seen someone write out what I experience with feminism
I feel like the majority of women misinterpret feminism as "women perfect, men bad". People in general tend to have a binary mentality and need to be able to put people, or groups of people, into categories of good/bad, without room for any exceptions or grey areas. It's not just about seeing women as equals with men, they need to be elevated, put on a pedestal, their flaws excused and justified.
The same thing in essence and yet exact opposite in reaction is cancel culture: it's not enough to dislike someone, people need the crutch of making them "morally inferior" in some way and spend hours digging through social media trying to find something incriminating enough to make them "a bad person".
Feminism for me has only helped me get rid of certain biases I may have had as internalized misogyny, but I find it extremely hard to deal with feminists who refuse to accept that women can (and sometimes are) horrible people, and the simple fact that they're women doesn't change or excuse that.
fair
👏👏👏
I’m not sure I agree that Fleabag romanticizes self-destruction. It’s awkward and uncomfortable, nothing about it is meant to be desirable. Personally I can identify with the kind of trauma that I think initiated her self-destructive tendencies, and as such, it’s nice to see a depiction of a flawed human being working to get better. There was that quote in season 2 about women being born with pain, but all of season one revolves around Fleabag mourning Boo and feeling essentially broken.
that's fair! admittedly viewers' reactions to Fleabag feel like they romanticize self-destruction more than the actual show
Yes, THIS!! Fleabag is so well written… the Fleabag Era Feminism is real… and it’s so heartbreaking we still don’t have this ‘messy thing’ down yet!
Fleabag made me cry, because it made me feel seen. I wrote an entire essay on it in college soon after it came out. I think seeing myself in the main character changed the trajectory of my life in a small way and that I am better for it.
I would argue that inner work in community is almost as important to the feminist movement as fighting political battles. A more just society that values both us as people and celebrates our female traits cannot come from a mindset rooted in the uncaring patriarchy. Fleabag shows us why it is important to care about the important things, even if it kills us to care about anything at all after all we’ve been through. It shows us how we can reconcile the armor we have grown to survive with the vulnerability our hearts demand. It shows us that we are valuable in ourselves, and that there is hope for when we screw things up. That is a lesson that I think could benefit every woman, and help set us free.
You cannot have perfect feminism in a misogynistic system.
true!
So what kind of system do you need to have "perfect feminism" in?
@@Der_Thrombozyt maybe a world where feminism as a movement isnt needed at all?
@@Der_Thrombozyt Ummm..a perfect one perhaps?
@@DR-nh6oo @Júlio Cesar You can't have a "perfect" activist movement in a world where there is nothing to change.
That's why I commented - the point is moot, since apparently you cannot have "perfect feminism" - period. Though that's fine - humans aren't perfect, why should their movements be?
Don't worry about the -isms. Just watch it. Fleabag is 12 episodes of pure, concentrated brilliance. Tragic and hilarious.
Fair enough-Fleabag was excellent
Now I feel like I should say, I'm just saying this for people who might say "eww, feminism." Fleabag is NOT preachy or "woke" or at least that's not my impression. But I have no problem saying I'm a feminist man. My comment above is not meant to diminish feminism or anything.
As a guy i can't really say i relate or understand this feminism stuff beyond the obvious "equal opportunities" it's fighting for, but the show is extremely well written and acted, has very relatable and realistic characters. Never would have heard of it without this video.
I just wish this kind of representation was more common in mainstream media, maybe then people outside the bubble would take these movements more seriously.
@@dlollard i know this is an old comment that you've probably forgotten all about, but i wanted to say that i appreciate the disclaimer lol. I (somewhat) agreed with your original comment but felt a bit 'icky'about liking it in fear that it was a "women can open bank accounts, stop whining about feminism" kind of comment. So thank you for making your intentions clear. It's such a small thing but i really appreciate when people do this:))
@@_-_julie_-_7834 Well, then I'm glad I added my "disclaimer"! I appreciate your appreciation. I'm just always trying to get more people to watch Fleabag!
i always hated the "women are born with pain built in" part not just because it’s pessimistic but also because how it shifts the blame to nature, from patriarchy to how it’s always been. i get how it’s comforting for people to think it’s just how i am or how it is but we have to accept that there can be a better tomorrow in order to grow
absolutely agree! blaming patriarchal issues on "biology" or "nature" definitely makes it hard to improve those issues
as s trans woman i dislike it too but for other reasons
i don’t think it was shifting the blame at all. rather showing how women have grown to need thicker skin because the patriarchy makes our lives 10x harder. we are born with pain built in, periods, birth, puberty is painful for many girls! now add in a misogynistic, patriarchal world it becomes rather laughable. men literally have made a world so easy for themselves that they need to create problems just to feel what we naturally feel. it’s pointing and laughing rather than taking away blame.
@@Sophia-pt3yq as a crossdresser, pretending to take our expirience and lives. go away, you are not a part of feminism, even if you want to roleplay as one of us and even if some dellusional girls are scared to not believe you.
That is one of the few things that really pisses me off about feminism... The "men don't understand" trope, as if we wouldn't struggle as well. I do agree that there exist many privileges that are not fully fair and equal but we still struggle with huge amounts of loneliness, denied mental health issues and violence, sadly we just don't get it portrayed in massive media. If being a man would mean all perks without having to endure so much suffering we probably wouldn't be cutting our veins and throwing ourselves from 8th floors so much...
I don’t know why anyone hates fleabag (including the characters in the show)-she’s SO real
same! she's flawed of course but I love her
Well, it's generally people aren't a HotMess themselves (so they don't relate), and also often have to deal with people like her in real life, so it's just like "ugh, *this* bitch."
Feminism is a diverse movement and the issues it covers very complex, so it is natural for us to struggle figuring out our relationship with it. Our perception of it is influenced by so many things including the media (mostly patriarchal), social media, prejudice, our own experience with the patriarchy, etc. To me, it is helpful to remember this when confronting the nuances of feminism that I don't feel to be aligned with or living up to enough.
"but romanticizing self-destruction rarely leads down a productive path" T H I S
Great video. I no longer enjoy dissociative nihilism - it's edgy, reflects privilege, and honestly, is overused in grimdark movies and shows (ugh, The Boys) - so it was nice to see Fleabag grow out of that and develop a healthier relationship with herself.
Fym bout the boys mate?
@@silverprimus321boi9 it's capitalist realism, mate. Shows you repeatedly that everyone who wants to change the system is doomed to fall and become as brutal as their opponents. It's the same basic messaging as Animal Farm
the message and tone of fleabag is pretty different from the topic a show like the boys deals with. not every show should deal with the same kinda topic.
elaborate on the boys?
Irony deflecting emotions in public is a serious problem. Ironically. Thanks for the recommendation!
It's so sad that people watched fleababg and all they took from it was essentially a tumbler sad girl persona. but sadly this happens all the time to complex characters
Don't know why it was re-uploaded buy still a great video and a show that goes straight into my "need to watch"
Sorry about the reupload lol, glad you enjoyed!
She is one of the most unlikable characters I've ever seen. I don't know how people love that show, it was hard to get through.
5:55 They are extremely narcissistic, arrogant rantings: glorified self destruction and indulgence. There's nothing in those Tik Tok posts of value.
Nobody has pain built in. Saying things like that will make it impossible to get better and have a good life. Naturally some amount of pain will come to anyone who's ever lived, but if you feel as though you can't recover from trauma, beleiving that it's built in will make you feel it's inevitable and stop you from recovering.
Wow your video essays are really well made! We like the same movies and shows. I have a question on how I could start making video essays as well. Where can I find clips of the movies and shows legally and post them?
thanks so much! I usually just download clips from youtube :) channels like "Movieclips" have clips available, and there's also a lot of videos available on youtube that editors use-just look up something along the lines of "(character/TV show name) logoless scenepack" and there's often lots available!
@@MaiaCVideos ohhh okay thanks so much. I thought the editing clip packs were like stolen because I’m pretty sure they download off illegal website. But anyway thanks.
Never heard of the show, actually! Thank you for the rundown--it's made me want to check it out more.
I'm glad, it's a great show!
I was rewatching the show and the episode where she goes to the silent retreat has some feminist remarks, but the one that caught my attention the most and that is not right in your face, at least not for me, is the fact that men are asked to shout while women are asked to be quiet. I can believe it took so long to realize that, but that’s the beauty of fleabag, it’s always something different.
One of the best series.
7:10 Dang, Moriarty really cleaned up his act!
There's a steep contradiction between 3:05 ("Fleabags traits are generally more acceptable in men") and FB 's monologue at 0:27 (about people who make [her] feel bad about her reaction to their sexual inappropriateness). We're seeing the same behavior and getting a real-time verdict on what's more socially acceptable.
I think it put me off as it felt very north london and kitsch and cliche ridden - It is a shame that that part of our culture (North London being the Portland of England) gets exported abroad. It misrepresents how much more interesting subtle and nuanced UK culture is or can be.
oh that's interesting to hear, hadn't thought about that!
It's definitely on the side of feminism but even more on the side of great writing and storytelling.
Would love to see more shows like this.
Phoebe Waller-Bridges is a genius
agreed!
I like the comparison to dissociative feminism.. I'm a man so I can't speak to a woman's perspective but we have our own struggle of trying to find genuine friends, and having hope is an awesome message regardless of ur gender.. (just some dumb ramblings haha)
I love this show! Very insightful video!
thanks so much!
I really enjoyed this analysis, you deserve more views :)
Hi, I'm currently writing an essay about fleabag and feminism and I found this video very helpful. Would it be possible to share the name of the interview referenced here 3:25?
Glad this was helpful! Here's the interview: www.bbc.com/news/av/entertainment-arts-51590351
Even when beauty fades you still keep real relationships, the ones that are based on a human connection. If all your relationships are based on beauty then you might just be manipulating people to like you by your looks. I have seen men and women do this, and regardless of gender, you might die alone unless you can find out how to make friends the way you did in your first grade of school. See someone do something, ask them why they did it that way, and then ask if you can play along too. It is the simplest thing and it is lost when we get stuck in our own heads and worry about things instead of changing them.
'It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish. ' - Samwise Gamgee
Im interested in the take that ‘dissociative feminism’ is associated with privilege, Im not sure that I see any real link there. It seems to me as if this form of feminism is ripe for the most underprivileged women? Dissociation seems the most likely path for a women with no power.
I get the feeling as though i am wrong here, but I cant seem to find where so I hope someone can find the time and effort to show me where I am as im really interested in this topic.
Yeah I'm happy to elaborate on that! I don't think you're necessarily wrong, you make a good point. What I was trying to get at is that those who are less privileged might not be in a position to sort of "remove themselves" from oppression the way wealthy white women often can.
I talked about this example in another comment but I'll use it again: in the book My Year of Rest and Relaxation, where the main character decides to spend a year just sleeping and self-medicating, this is only possible because she's already super rich and generally privileged. That's obviously an extreme, but that's the kind of dissociation that isn't possible for some women! hope that kinda helps lol
Yes, this! I have felt this too, in a kind of 'ranking' of true dissociative feminism, in which -
Women with the least power are most likely to, as a sort of practical reaction to life
Women with more 'economic' privilege but bad social or emotional situations might also have authentic takes on the same
Then, the women in higher positions of privilege yet with a dissatisfaction in many aspects of their life, unfulfilled by traditional feminism, and sort of 'trying this on'
Don't know if I made a lot of sense there 🙃
This is pretty much a privileged "first world" thing, since women in a more conservative society can only play along and blame no one but themselves for systematic problems that are caused by patriarchy. Why? Because the only option that they have is to fit in.
I know this since I'm from one of those conservative countries where not having a religion is not recognized by the government. It's sad that in this era, patriarchy and discrimination are still very real.
I think it’s sort of similar to how a lot of people on the internet tend to be like “oh, all politicians are the same”.
For example, I had a uk Labour (unofficial) discord mod say they’d prefer the Conservative party over the Labour Party because the Labour Party wasn’t left enough for him. And like, that’s cool for you straight cis dude who can afford to spend 24/7 online, but how about the fact that there’s like 1 loud transphobe in the Labour Party, and pretty much all of the Conservative party are?
It’s privileged in the way of “you can only afford to have this position because you don’t have as much skin in the game”.
There was one movie that inspired my sister to become what she wants and that she can achieve everything and that was Alien. We were all huge fans of Ripley. the boys and the girls, everyone wanted to be like her. The most feminist movie ever!
okay, you won me over two sentences in!! subscribed!!
aw thank you!
When we say we’re in our fleabag era, we are acknowledging we are toxic but that it makes us no less of humans with validity living the human experience at the same time
I've never heard about this show, might check it out after this. But just from what I heard in this video, it seems like the lived reality of a woman in a western country is different from a non-western country.
I also find Undone on Prime a fantastic example of the female (and female POC!) gaze. Although the show focuses on ancestral trauma and mental health, the main character has a blunt sense of humor and begins quite flawed and cynical. As the show continues she grows and becomes less cynical but is still the same realistic, relatable female character. I highly recommend a watch to anyone who enjoyed Fleabag!
Ooh I haven't watched that, I'll definitely have to check it out!
I think Fleabag is a masterpiece, but, the fanbase have a problem with identifying Fleabag = Phoebe Waller-Bridge [which she distances herself from in interviews], coming to see Fleabag as a heroine/role-model.
Upon rewatching it, I noticed a lot of similarities between the Priest and Martin [the lover and villain, respectively]. Most obviously in their alcoholism, also poignantly they both ask their partners to 'kneel' [Priest to Fleabag in her confession and Martin to Claire in the series two finale].
Made me think about the subjectivity of the whole show since you're seeing everything from the perspective of Fleabag's eyes.
Ooh that's super fascinating, I hadn't made the connection between the Priest and Martin! Fleabag definitely really influences how we view the characters / plot overall
3:02 immediately liked the video on hearing this - its exactly what i thought when i watched a mans video essay on fleabag and he described her as unlikeable and rude!
1:40 "She's very flawed [...] but most people find her remarks of the world around her painfully relatable nonetheless."
You're saying that as if being flawed is an attribute that wouldn't make her more relatable in a largely broken society.
I don't know what this method is actually called but there is a method in pop culture in the music in the movies Etc. Where the song or movie starts off with a lot of things portraying feelings that are very valid for instance this one bitterness. Then the movie will shift after you've drawn in and related with the character and point that feeling in a scapegoating manner towards something. This one seems to be pointing the source of every woman's bitterness towards men. If anyone reads this comment I dare you to take this insight and start listening to the music and watching the movies for this tactic.
Maybe we should all spend less time navel-gazing and more time building and nurturing things that will last longer than we do. Not saying there's no time for introspection, but it turns out that thinking about ourselves all the time doesn't make us happy.
yeah fair enough!
Now I’m gonna watch this show too!! Seems great!
Such an amazing and insightful video!
THANK YOU NY
the protagonist is a current day normie. specially when she pretends to be be an awkward outcast.
love this video! but i was wondering what you mean by non white able bodied women not being able to disassociate themselves from feminism. I feel like modern feminism doesnt cater to these groups anyways so i think its patronising to say we rely on it
thanks! what I'm trying to get at there is that less privileged women often lack the resources that allow them to just be passive or sort of "remove themselves" from oppression. for example, in My Year of Rest and Relaxation (book, not a movie, but same trope), in which the main character decides to spend a year just sleeping and self-medicating, this is only possible because she's already super wealthy and generally privileged. hope that makes some sense lol?
The final point is the makers wish and has no bearing on the show, though does not harm, its just irelivant.
I recommend this show to everyone telling them that this is most feminist show i have ever seen.
it is
Watching the video and reading comments I realized I don't understand feminism (I naïvely thought feminism is about women's rights) and started to think what if feminism is so much a women's "thing" men shouldn't care about it simply because it's totally impossible for them to understand it.
This is like saying you are going to abandon the idea that you know what plants are because you can't identify a specific species of orchid. Just because something is complicated below the surface in such a way that it requires specialized expertise at times, doesn't mean you should go about your life pretending it doesn't exist.
Sometimes other people are going to know more about something than you do. Just because this time those people are women talking about feminine themes, that's not really a good reason to try and discredit and belittle and act defensive about your lack of expertise.
@@arcanineryu one thing is our scientific knowledge of say plants from your example. Scientific knowledge is structured in a way that is made to be universally shareble i.e. when one hasn't seen even a photo of orchid in their lives they can still understand the taxonomy e.g. if orchid is a plant it's supposed to have some features all plants have like photosynthesis or something. Feminism is not a scientific knowledge, the social science studies of feminism even when done by feminists are about feminism, not the feminism itself.
Feminism as a social movement is based in a very large part on emotional experiences, sometimes quite intricate, which create the foundation for solidarity when one recognizes the same emotional experience one has in other person. It's more or less the same for all social movements and the changes in the structure of such solidarity is for example what Durkheim was speaking about when he studied people moving to the cities from rural areas - people come to the cities from all kinds of environments and their life in the city is too diverse for them to have what he called "mechanical solidarity" based on the similarity of day to day experiences.
Modern life creates more and more diversity in experiences and this means less and less foundation for solidarity except inside quite small groups or strata. And I suspect modern feminism as it is now is not just about the experiences of women in the Western/westernized world but rather about some particular category of Western/westernized women - mostly living in urban areas and having medium level of income. This video essay we're commenting on and the movie (TV series?) it's about seem to illustrate this quite well. And modern feminism becomes harder and harder to solidarize with for other groups of women not because something is wrong with feminism but because of that increasing diversity of experiences.
@@AntonMochalin you're confusing what you personally are being exposed to with a wider movement again.
Part of intersectional feminism means understanding there's more too it than that, and putting in the effort to broaden your horizons.
Yall are basically trying to redefine feminism based on what your UA-cam algorithm gives ya specifically 😒
Like as frustrating as that can be, ya kinda have to have more responsibility than that.
Maybe look more into other humanities or whatever, like child psychology.
Something to make ya more comfortable with thinking not according to occams razor, where the most simple solution is probably the truth.
And instead by hickams dictum, where the truth can be as complex and convoluted as it damn well pleases.
Like there's a lot of hoity-toity types who assumes intellectualism means bending the facts into simple and convenient forms, but that's its own form of anti intellectualism ya gotta account for.
@@arcanineryu okay but give me at least one reason why I should bother about your "intersectional feminism" (which I'm a bit familiar with after listening to some humanities lectures on Yale's YT channel)? It's just a concept that won't replace real emotional solidarity that is able to motivate one for some action. Oh and what kind of action that would be again, anyway?
@@AntonMochalin Because to understand women is a significant element of how to understand humanity in its honest form.
If you fall for the dishonest trap of trying to devalue things on the basis of them being feminine, then you will never genuinely understand and value yourself. Because you will always have parts of yourself that, according to what the world will tell you, are feminine.
And you will keep hating yourself for it.
Without even nessasarily realizing what it is you are doing, you will keep trying to carve out pieces of yourself and discard them.
That's why.
As a man, the world is going to tell you over and over that it's your duty to maim and mutilate your own mind, while leaving out that the reason for doing so is to make you more easy to manipulate for the selfish benefit of themselves at the expense of you and your community.
And just like how feminists and their allies have been liberating themselves by saying "you can't define women in ways that mandate me pretend I'm something I'm not. I won't let you."
You have to do the same thing by unpacking the lies that get told to you.
And you do that, in part, by studying women and their emacapatory politics.
Cus ultimately, you start to realize that men and women have essentially been defined in ways that deny their basic humanity.
But you aren't just a man, you're a person.
A lot of the stuff you are told to discard is not an expression of being a failure as a man.
They're your birthright as a human being.
They belong to you by virtue of being a living person. And admitting that a lot of these abstract emotional things *belong to you* is how you can really take responsibility for owning yourself.
I think she’s just very toxic and she knows that. Problem is she never really wants to change herself. So instead she takes the blame on her dad, sister and her step mother. She never even apologized for what she did to her friend instead externalizes her hate.
I agree that Fleabag is very toxic, but there's a reason for that. Throughout the first season we see her reach out to other characters for help changing and finding healthy ways to deal with emotional pain, and she's repeatingly rejected, even partially by the bank manager at the end of the season
First time I heard about this show, looks neat. But I still have to giggle at the premise that the orindary 'less successful' protagonist owns a bloomin' café.
Well once you watch the show you'll realise her cafe really isn't going well in the beginning of the series.
You should watch it. It's a funny show with heart wrenching character relationships and SO MANY LAYERS underneath. It's like a perfect artistic representation and analysis of women's lives and family dynamics and fucking up in life
yeah it's a really good show! like the other commenter mentioned, her cafe's actually not doing too great for a lot of the show, so it's pretty realistic on that front :)
@@MaiaCVideos yeah but like, normal people don't own things, they rent them off rich people. It still sounds like a cool show worth checking out, it's just that starting point that gave me a chuckle that's all.
It's easy to open a business. 80% close in the first year, so that's the iffy part to me. It seems like she had the cafe too long.
@@kyleellis1825 so it does mean renting then? Doesn't actually mean owning. See that makes more sense, I bet it's that.
I dunno about the iffyness of 80% closing. It's a super high number but there still must be 20% not closing next to them, right? Hers would just be one of them.
Brilliant. Thank you. Brave take.
Hey, my friends tweet is in this with her picture and her twitter handle and im pretty sure you didnt ask them if you were allowed to put it in. Could you please edit it to blur the handle and picture? Thank you
hi, yes I can sorry! which one is it?
i really like what ive seen of your videos and im glad theyre so successful but if your viewership is growing maybe you might consider blurring out all faces and handles, just to cover your bases. not everyone has cool friends like me hahaha :)
yeah absolutely-I'll blur that one and be sure to blur others as well, thank u for pointing it out! :)
Where can I find the show?
I watch it on Amazon Prime :)
As a male presenting queer person, I probably wont relate to the topic of living in a female presenting person or as woman as well and probably is not for me in a way. However, I feel like I also use this witty, nihilistic attitude not only to prevent myself from being seen as "weak" or "not nonchalant", but also to avoid my own flaws. I Guess I'll give this show a shot and see how Fleabag deals with that
I have never heared of this show. Looks intresting though, I'll ckeck it out.
That was an amazing video holy shit, I wish I had the words
aw thank you I'm glad it hit home!!
"expectations placed on women to be perfect and lady-like".... wait what? Women nowadays are pretty akin to dock workers in a harbor, and nobody seems to have an issue with that... where do these expectations come from?
Great vid
Love this!!
Just wanna say you need more views
thanks so much :)
What are you all talking about?
were you referring to the comments?
That was a good analysis
Fleabag is funny and engaging. The chaps down in the Patriarchy Club like it a lot but say that the commentary is bollox.
Aaah well said!
thanks so much!
This looks like "Narcissism: The Show". So...perfect feminism.
I tried to watch it because the reviews were amazing.
But the show was not amazing, it was very boring.
I guess I'm not the target audience.
My fave show ❤️❤️❤️
Good stuff.
Great video
If people keep feminism to be about legal equality and move all of the social not legally relevant issues into the "dont be an asshole" category i think a lot of people on all sides would be happier and actual issues would be addressed more effectively. Like it or not but feminism have become tainted by a vocal minority of crazy people that try to present it as matriarchism. And a not insignificance number of people avoid using the word out of fear of being lumped in with them. But then again thats just an argument for avoiding isms in general as they tend to divide more then they build support for the actual changes they claim to fight for.
Very quiet video
THE VIDEO IS SO QUIET
Whatever (1999) is the male version of Fleabag (2016)
actually haven't seen it but I'll have to check it out!
@@MaiaCVideos It's a French drama
I personally thought season 2 was more of a love fantasy, or any fantasy. It had many moments that were a bit too much of a stretch. I absolutely loved the first season. I can understand from Phoebe’s perspective why she would write 2nd season like that, fantasy sorts again. Maybe because not many yes sirs or ma’ams were present on the first one. The second was again, more like a fantasy, the better men for the main girls had no shortcomings of their own, were just plain perfect beautiful men for those women, this is just an example but overall some of the writing and scenarios were iffy . Except only the first episode, 2nd season was a big disappointment.
ThankGod I didn't spend 1 sec on the show
*spoiler alert*
Yeah, about that. It's 'just' a series about people who hate themselves and others around them. The only warm person in the series dies because of dysfunctions of the others. There are no deeper ideology or values needed to explain or embed the series in reality, because reality is that those deeper meanings are just means to justify and misappropriate one's harmful behaviour. Whether it's feminism, mysogynism, blaming society or blaming yourself, the final effect is passing on the pain.
Pure fantasy victim woman who struggles in a world were there is no struggle but in the writers mind .
Feminism sold women a false bill of goods, and we are reaping the consequences right now.
Let's be honest here: most feminism comes in a very similar vein as nationalism. Humans have an innate desire to latch onto a group, and direct their inner anger/frustrations out towards other groups. This is called tribalism. It's the inherent human urge to have a "us vs them" mentality. Feminism is an excuse for women to hate on men, and vent their own frustrations and anger on those they consider to be "other". Perhaps some of the frustrations are justifiable, perhaps not. But it doesn't change the fact that feminism is a toxic mentality that pits "us vs them" the same as any other form of tribalism.
🙄
It is that white? Hope not 😪
+
Are the terms "Feminist" and "selfish, boring arsehole" interchangeable?
Woman, am I right? * Tea noise *
Feminist media is still so tacky and cheap
Any woman who chooses to knowingly settle for less is only going to get what she deserves.... Turn me down and you are going to settle for less, its inevitable
Who wouldn't give up 5 years for a perfect body? Most men would take that trade too. Hell social security is dead so those are 5 years slowly starving on welfare anyways
Ha ha - the subtitles say 'the female gays' instead of the female GAZE... why are people so stupid these days....??
Idk, why people don't know what is automatic subtitles
@@user-dq8zj8mj6z You mean AI subtitles. Artificial Intelligence is artificial, but not intelligent.
@@baronesswithabrush1991 but it is not "people"
@@user-dq8zj8mj6z It starts as 'people' doing translation of the human voice to the subtitles... so it actually IS people to begin with, TRAINING the AI.
I just found it amusing that 'female gaze' comment in the Video Essay referring to this:
THE MALE GAZE
“Traditionally, the woman displayed has functioned on two levels: as erotic object for the characters within the screen story, and as erotic object for the spectator within the [cinema] auditorium.” A comment on patriarchy------
Got turned into 'The lesbian gays'. If you don't see the humour in that... maybe read more...
@@baronesswithabrush1991 what a brilliant example of mental gymnastics
Equalism is superior to feminism