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What It Feels Like When You Don't Want Your Baby: Antenatal Depression | Body Language
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- Опубліковано 20 чер 2018
- ‘How antenatal depression made me lose my identity’
In this series of Body Language visual essays, women talk about their most personal reproductive health issues and problems. Maternal mental illness affects 1 in 5 women and develops during or after pregnancy. Here, one woman speaks about her experience with antenatal depression. Not only did she lose her own identity but she felt she was “a crap mum before she was a mum”. After speaking to her doctors, she found the support she so desperately needed.
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Brilliant. Nobody talks about this issue. I had it, it’s just like this woman described. If you’re feeling it, talk to someone. It’s the hormones, not you. It’s not your fault.
Are you on any form of social media or chat places, where I could msg and ask for advice? Long shot, I know but just feel so helpless xx
Poatpartum depression or antenatal depression is a real issue and getting help shouldn't be something that is looked down at because before during and after pregnancy there are so many changes and things that occur mentally, physically & emotionally.
Do you still feel like this
Does medication really help? I’ve heard it takes 8 weeks to take effect and still the results are marginal.
It's the anti abortion laws
These videos are so unique and *important*
Blue River 😂😂😂 I love the sarcasm!
kill quick oh my gosh no not at all! Sorry I can see how it can be read like that, but I would also tell anyone who disregarded this to fuck off! I was just ignoring the previous comment because I don't wanna deal with their bs 😊❤
kill quick that's really sweet of you, but honestly there's no need to apologise - I'm just glad to see someone standing up against hurtful people! Please, keep it up 😊💕
When I was pregnant I was afraid the entire time and never found it joyful. My daughter is six and I am still struggling with my identity. She is wonderful. Her birth is my favourite memory, but I still hate myself. It wasn't the pregnancy that gave me depression, that was a short chapter in my life. I have been struggling with drepression since I was 11 years old. Unfortunately I have adverse side side effects to antidepressants. If you ever see a mom struggling please reach out. Sometimes we all need help getting through a day, or just a few minutes of someone's time.
Episode Interactive Don't feel silly for reaching out and trying to help someone! Other people your age or adults whose doctors never suggested the pill as an option benefit from your comment :)
I hope you feel better
I can only wonder how mothers in developing nations deal with ante
natal depression when there's no gynaecologist or psychologist or anti depression pills locally or even in the country ☹️
maybe they don't have this 'antenatal depression' because life there is more fragile and precious and nobody bullshits them how self entitled they are. they fight real problems like water shortage, starvation, exposure to harmful chemicals or bad weather unlike in west where women get depressed over body images, imaginary wage gap and other nonsense.
IKR? It's so sad thinking about it. The girls who are trapped, almost in jail, with the depression and losing their freedom.
That's why I feel strong about women's rights in third world countries.
julijakeit I’m from Vietnam and I can tell you that we DO have cases of postnatal depression where moms killed their new born babies. Sure we have many external problems to deal with but we all have mental issues too. Why? Cause we’re all living in a human society where people cause harms to one another and dismiss the victim’s call for help! Your definition of “real problems” is PROBLEMATIC. For one reason, women’s issues are not imaginary. They are very real and they can happen to any woman from any country regardless of its economic growth. I just sincerely want to tell you that if you can’t help to solve these REAL problems, don’t try to hurt the victims more by saying that they’re faking it.
im from indonesia and im pretty sure in most developing countries issues regarding pyschology are often considered as something non-existant so yeah most people believe there’s no such things as mental illness
julijakeit what a load of bullcrap. Having water shortage problems and body image issues are not mutually exclusive events. A woman can experience all the above problems you just described and still be living in a developing or developed country. I'm not going to give you examples because you need to use your brain a little. And FYI body image issues are just as real as starvation, men face them too. Regardless of their circumstances, no expectant mother wakes up one day and says "Hey I'm going to force my hormones to change and make my life miserable until I give birth." Nobody chooses to get antenatal depression although socioeconomic factors do influence the chances of it. And by that logic, wouldn't mothers in developing nations also have a chance of getting antenatal depression because of the 'real problems' in their lives. You need to stop dismissing real illnesses just because you want to be an edgy anti-feminist.
some ppl just don't want children, society should accept it.
Shirley Chan this is not about that though
I agree
People mostly family should stop pressureing women to have kids they don't want
I agree. Having children is a choice and I'm never having children nor having sex! I'm living forever as a virgin and independent woman!
Shirley Chan I agree. This may or may not be a an illness. What it may truly be is women getting pregnant when they don't actually want children. Pregnancy is tough for anyone, but maybe this supposed illness is the outcome of women getting pregnant when they don't truly want children. At the very least, this is clearly a woman who had idealized pregnancy. Even women with the least difficult of pregnancies don't claim it's rainbows and unicorns. When this poor woman describes how she thinks she should have felt while pregnant I just wonder what distant fantasy universe she imagined her ideas.
I had this when i was pregnant. It was the worst feeling ever. Id cry myself to sleep every night and contemplate ending my life. Part of my prayed for a miscarriage every night and the other part was excited to be a mom. I was so lost. My heart goes out to these women.
Jasmin Ferrante How are you doing now? Are you a mom now?
Battling this right now. Glad to hear you got through it.
Currently going through this
@@chantellemodisane me too😥 how are you? does it change after giving birth??
I'm currently going through this..pls help me out 😭
I admire this strong woman for talking about it. We have to stop Mum shaming.
Tasha & Rhod “mum shaming”? I think you just invented a new SJW buzzword.
Chicot The Jester You're such an idiot you think combining two already existing words into a sentence means inventing a new SJW buzzword...
ÖRLOGSKAPTEN If you’re calling me an idiot then I have to take notice, you’re such an expert on idiocy. Maybe you can report me to UA-cam, that is your usual tactic after all.
What's Mum shaming?
I always get mixed feelings when my bf talks about me being pregnant in the future. Sometimes I cry and sometimes I get mad and I told him its a sensetive topic to me.
Zoey Striker i have just he forgets and i sometimes bring up that subject
Don't let him persuade you if you're not 100% up for it. If he doesn't respect your reasons, then maybe it's best just to leave, especially if he won't let it go.
Maybe show him a video like this? My boyfriend is fine with no kids, but I know that men especially don’t always understand why women wouldn’t want a child.
kitty weirdo If he doesn't respect your wishes, dump him. He ain't worth it.
kitty weirdo he ain’t worth it if he won’t chill
my heart goes out to people who go through with this ❤️ also i love how well done this vid is, especially the visuals
Laila Aww I love yelena too!
I know I wouldn’t love any child I make so I won’t make any. It would make me and the child happier if I just never gave birth. I wish those that loved me would accept this but so far it’s only caused arguments
Bella Jenkins I feel the same, i think the whole process of having a child would be horrible and scary and I feel like I'd resent the child as a result
I agree with you!
Same I could possibly adopt but I couldn't handle the emotional pressure of pregnancy
Many people cannot comprehend what is not their experience or ideal. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone. You know yourself and that's all that matters. :)
same!! ever since i was a kid i've always knew that i dont want kids, but never really know the reason until i got older: i'll never have the energy and patience to raise a child, nor the money for it. But then the adults would say "oh but you'll come to love your kid! And when you do then you'll do just about anything for them!" or "you're too practical, those issues will solve themselves when the time comes!" blablablabla... but what they don't get is that, i already have that mindset for years, and im a very stubborn soul. There is no 100% guarantee that i'll have that MATERNAL MOMENT where you just 'love at first sight' with your baby, if i dont, i'll end up hating the kid for all the grieves they bring.And then there are the adults who get worried that i might be a lesbian for not wanting a child like WTF what does that have anything to do with my sexuality??!!!
My mom had this for 2 months after I was born she said she hated to see me but today she says she loves me more than herself or the world and I make her day when she sees me ...things change so dont worry if you are going through this time makes things better every beginning is hard it will get better you ARE NOT ALONE 😊❤
balkan sheep mommy od lost kpop fans I wished it was so. I prayed and prayed you were right. I kept asking if it was me who was unlovable, ugly, stupid. I waited 20+ years for her to stop trying to kill me. I woke up in the middle of a school night to her suffocating me with a pillow. I’m sorry. I can’t do it anymore. I want to be happy and I want to live and be loved
M4tchStickGirl you should go to the mental intitution to help your mother and to put here in a safe place where she wont hurt herself or you ,BUT you need to know dat you are an amazing person to go through all of this and you will need to find a psyho(da guy helping you through talk eng is not my mother language)what I am trying to say here us life didnt go easy on you but dat doesnt mean you shouldnt fight back get yourself together to think through and you are going to handle things I would suggest you to stay at a relative or a fruends house while you figure things out..pls dont hurt youself cuz there are ppl who care I may not know you but from what you said you are a strong and very kind person who is done suffering so pls take care ❤
balkan sheep mommy od lost kpop fans thank you! I ran off and went through college by myself. She loves herself and only herself. She would spend money on expensive clothes and do her hair while I starved. I haven’t seen her in 3 years. Last month, my grandmother (her mother-in-law) was killed by my mother. My grandma had stage 4 cancer and all these years, my mother laughed and refused to let her go to a doctor. My grandma died painfully vomiting blood by herself. My family says that my mother is too scary, and doesn’t want to help. I don’t know how to admit her to a mental institution. She’s evil
M4tchStickGirl oh I am so sorry for you to through this I know dat familly isnt always like it is on tv mine divorced when I was six and problems rushed ever since ....idont really feel comfortable speaking about this cuz I do kinda have anger and panic issues but my parents dont know how bad they could get ...they never saw me have one bc I hide dat from the world but I have been having them less bc I beleive that even tho this is "hard" for me doesnt mean there isnt someone that is having it harder to live everyday I hope you have your mind and life handled right now ur mom might not be sane but you owe it to the 2 of you to be sane and not to do that to ur kids ...you should go to the police if they have her locked up for murder and ask tell them about your mothers psyhopatic manners and tell them that its better for her and for the sake of them to put her into an asylum(mental institute)i hope i helped you with smth😊
Jelly Mew she is dangerous. I don’t think it’s possible to get someone admitted against their will.
As a victim of a terrible childhood, I was petrified of having a child to the point, I had decided to be sterilised as I highly doubted my ability to be a mother. Glad I did not. The BBC is appreciated.
I'm so afraid this will be me
Destiny Kemp Make sure you use contraceptives then.
Chicot The Jester ...you’ve quite obviously missed the entire point of this video 🙄
Esther A Not at all. I just don’t accept the premise.
Chicot The Jester Well you should seeing as how it's very real and how it can effect any woman in the world.
Chicot The Jester she WANTED to have the baby
This how I feel, my first pregnancy. And the further along I get, the more disappointed I get. And no one in my family understands, not even my husband. And the thoughts that run through my head makes me feel guilty and horrible for thinking such grotesque things.
How did you get through it? Did you feel different after birth?
@@MissSmurfey mine came from being pregnant for the first time and mourning my mother all over again. Because I wish she was here to help me through it. And my thoughts just ran wild and got dark.
I am in tears. I watched this twice today and both time I broke down. With Hyperemesis Gravidarum and being alone, away from family I already spent first 4 months in hell of pregnancy and the moment my nausea went away, this intense hatred and regret for the pregnancy rooted deeply in me. There are many times in my day where I am lost in thoughts about how good my life was without pregnancy and how amazing it would be if I get rid of it. And in the very next moment I am drowning in the guilt of thinking that and my soul tells me how disgusting I am. I feel so awful everytime I cry because I know my baby is going to feel the stress. And I KNOW I haven't given him much of happy feelings when he/she is inside. I fear it would effect his/her personality and he/she would be kinky and anxious persons in their life only because I couldn't cope up with my pregnancy. If you are reading this... Please, please pray for my sanity. Pray that God gives me the strength to get this little human into this world. I am 20 weeks right now. I still have long way to go, and I don't think I will be sane Till the end...
I feel like this now. I am going so crazy. how are you now? does it go away after giving birth? I feel so desperate
How are you?
You weren't ready. That's why you felt that way. And that ok. Women shouldn't be shamed. I love you.
I’m 26 years old and I’m 22 weeks. I found out 2 weeks ago that I was pregnant. What you just described is me to the T.
@@navitanguvauva3286you are not alone. I am 27, 11 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child. Praying for you 🙏🏾
This is exactly how i feel. Currently 9 months pregnant and lost
Jalesa Harper Please never do what my mother did. Never hurt your baby. Teach your child how to love and he/she would love you for eternity unconditionally. Please find happiness
Jalesa Harper How are you and the baby doing now?
Vinnie Love still pregnant. Due next week😣
Have you talk to your gyno or primary physician? If not, please do so as soon as possible.
Jalesa Harper please get some help gorgeous,for you and the babies sake x
I’ve always known I wanted to be a mom. But now that I am 8 weeks pregnant, I feel stuck! I feel depressed like I have lost all my freedom and youth. All my plans feel like regrets. I prayed for a miscarriage and I am starting to resent my bf even more now. But he is SO EXCITED. I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling this way.
I am 12 weeks and have been feeling this way. How are you doing?.i just started taking zoloft for my anxiety and depression.
@@SukanyaKishan I’m now 7months pregnant lol just adjusted
@@MissSmurfey I’m now 7 months pregnant and just adjusted honestly. Starting looking at the pros and looked up things and vacations I could do WITH her instead of resent her.
@@BlTCHBREATHE have you thought of taking an anti-depressant. There are safe medications you can try xx.
@@BlTCHBREATHE that’s great to know! Good luck to you, I hope everything goes well ❤️
I don’t think I want children for this reason. I have a lot of mental health issues and I couldn’t take the meds I’m on. I fear my suicidal tendencies would kick back in full swing
It dangerous not to talk about this woman can kill her baby while in this state and then hate herself for the rest of her life. Also, we need to stop telling women how awsome pregnancy is because it's not just bees and flowers for every woman it's different. Just watch Unnatural Vegan video on how she hated being pregnant and she felt persecuted for it. (it that the right word that am searching for? :D)
I agree. I honestly believe pregnancy is a 9 month jail sentence!
Yes, and can we please talk about the cultures where women are practically forced to have kids! My country isn't even that bad for this, but it's disgusting, forcing women to spend the rest of their lives caring for a child they don't want or can't care for.
T0T4L Lumm0x you have said it wrong we should tell woman that pregnancy is good but also there are other stuff
Thank you so much BBC for doing this, please offer info of where people can get help too🙂
I was told in my very early 20's that I would never get pregnant--I had tons of test, both my husband and me. I was, of course disappointed at that age--the age when all your friends are getting pregnant and you're going to baby showers non-stop. Fast forward 20 years. I was 43 and had started working on my investments planning for retirement. All my friends had grown children and were becoming grandparents. I went on vacation and came home feeling strange. I was pregnant at 43. My Ob/Gyn called it a "geriatric pregnancy." But she was insanely upbeat about it. I told her, this is I didn't want to be pregnant in my mid 40's. I thought, "I'll be 50 when my child starts first grade!" And besides being exhausted all the time, food tasted like sawdust, and I was so depressed as soon as I would get home from work, I would sit on the sofa and sob until my eyes couldn't produce tears. I kept thinking about everything that can go wrong with a pregnancy with mothers my age. I was unhappy because I didn't want to have a baby in my mid 40's, I wanted children when I was in my 20's like normal people. I was almost 18 weeks along and then miscarried. I never told ANYONE not even my husband, but I got down on my knees and thanked God that I wasn't going to have to go through with this pregnancy. I was way passed wanting a child. I know it sounds terrible and I've kept this to myself for another 20 years and now I'm in my 60's. This is the only time I've ever told anyone that I felt this way-what a relief.
You’re okay. It’s okay. You were fair on the child, having a child that late is a lot of stress on you and may not give the child their best life. Your feelings were understandable, you don’t have to tell anyone and it’s over. Best wishes to you.
Hi, I relate so much to your story. I am now realizing I was probably depressed during my pregnancy. I wanted but didn't want my baby until it was too late. I was afraid of the change in my life. I am 21 years old, and I still live at home, so I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to raise my baby. I did love my baby, though, and grew to want my baby. It was too late, though, because I ended up having a miscarriage at 18 weeks. I felt so guilty for the times when I didn't want her. But what's even worse is that I thought about miscarriage and this video really helped me because I see I'm not alone in feeling that way. I wish I could go back. All I can do is hold on to the memories I had and be grateful for my blessings. Because she was a blessing, things just didn't go the way they should have. Sorry I wrote so much. Your story just resonated with me.
What's the difference between this and postpartum depression? Just the fact that they haven't had the child yet? I feel like a lot of women have dealt with this. I'm glad she loves her baby though.
Yes postpartum is just once the child is born
This is ante=before birth. Post=after the birth. Both are a type of depression but for different reasons. Pregnancy and birth can be much more testing than people realise and the expectation that you will feel great is part of the pressure. When the baby is born, luckily most mothers fall deeply in love and that is what carries them through 🙂
Ella Kanefsky oh, okay, I have this with my puppy, that little jerk, lol
Postpartum*
Anti-Natal Depression (which is talked about here) is during the pregnancy. Postpartum Depression is when the baby is born. Postpartum Depression can also affect the father as well as the mother, but those cases are rare.
I have so much sympathy for anyone that has had to go through or are going through this
Thousands of women go through this. My grandmother never loved her children. She abused my mother and my several uncle's and aunt's. Took it to the grave. Personally I would never hurt a child but I have MANY reasons why I would never have one. And it's crazy that when someone says they don't want a child, people tell them once they have a child things will change. Why would you want someone who expresses that they don't WANT a child to have one anyway? If only people who truly wanted children had kids, the children of the world would be happier
This woman did want a pregnancy though. This situation is about women who's pregnancies and children are very much wanted, but develop a mental health issue whilst pregnant. As she said, the negative feelings all went away when the baby was born. Equating depression and being abusive is disgusting
It’s sad that people nowadays still say that mother’s should always be happy. If they can’t love the baby, it’s not their fault. I hope mum shaming will stop. I love my mum, she went through hell, she have cancer, but when her children are sick, she’ll get up and take care of us even she’s in so much more pain. Mothers are great. They deserve so much more respect ❤️❤️
Eliza Von Zeux I wish you and her well then :)
Eliza Von Zeux "mum shaming" ? No it's telling the woman to be a responsible parent.
Bluebins thanks mate❤️
It's neither the babies fault. Babies of not loving mothers should get taken away... What if ur mum didn't love you? I don't think she'd care then.
@@anu5297 you missed the point of the video
I really love that type of video ! the visual effect and music are excellent
please do one for rape trauma
I went through this with my second pregnancy. I felt so guilty and couldn't understand why I loved my first baby so much and didn't with this one.. My second baby is now six months old and I love her sooo much. Just as much as I love her sister.
To the author of this piece: Thank you so much for putting into words what I went through. I must have watched your video a hundred times to help me feel validated and loveable. You helped me reach out to my gyno and get medicine and thanks to you I was able to enjoy and cherish the last few months of my pregnancy. Thank you so much!
wow. just wow you guys... the pictures and editing was just amazing and thoughtful and real. thank you. i mean i am not even anywhere near being pregnant...but i think i have a slight impression of what it could be like to not be the joyful happy glowing soon to be mum that everybody is expecting you to be. thank u
In love with the uniqueness of the storytelling aspect here, visuals are beautiful. More please!!
this is powerful
That how sometimes feel when I think about having kids. I'm a vessel, I'm a cow, I will lose my identity. My partner wants to have kids but I'm afraid to fall into this kind of shit when I get pregnant and my life is gonna be a horror cabinet til I die
Wow I needed this so much I just absolutely balled my eyes out, it felt like she was reading an extract from my mind, the cry was so relieving
My mum had this when she had me and this video has really put it into perspective for me
I've been there and never knew it was such a thing! It explains exactly how I felt during and after pregnancy.
How are you doing now?
Thank you for telling your tale. I had anti natal phychosis and depression than post natal depression it took 8 years to break through my guilt over my feelings and thoughts. I never felt comfortable speaking about it because of stigma and guilt. People don't realise giving birth can be painful. Having my newborn baby on me straight after birth for an hour was so much torture but I sucked up my feeling and played the happy mummy for my husband
This women is so well-spoken! And well done to her
This really hit me. Honestly, being pregnant is my worst fear. Every time the topic comes up I just imagine myself crying and trying to process the fact that I'm going to be a mother. Even now, as a 14 year old who's never even kissed anyone, I'm scared that something would go wrong or that any protective measures wouldn't work.
My mother says she didn't want to be a mother before either, but once it happened she was happy. But it's not like that with me. Ever since I've known about how babies are born and how hard parenting is, I fear it so, so much. Caring for a child for 18+ years scares me. I don't want to just let go of all my dreams for another human being.
Then you should not become one. There is nothing wrong in not wanting children
Yes, I know. I just have this irrational fear that even if I would get sterilized (etc), something would go wrong. I've also heard of women spending nearly a decade trying to get sterilized simply because "they were too young" to decide.
Find a doctor that will give you the hysterectomy, when you're ready. Its completely ok to feel that way. It's completely ok to not want children. This is your body and your life and you make the rules.
The visuals are rlly amazing
Thank you so much for sharing this story. It is so important to know this is something we can or cannot go through and still not hate ourselves!
Thank you so much to the poet and reader and BBC for this. It is amazing to have what I'm going through so clearly and beautifully articulated. It also has me looking into a psychiatrist because If theres something out there that'll help me NOT feel like this, then I'll jump on it and leave guilt at the door!
Personally I do not ever want to be a mother. I cannot even envision myself with a belly or having a baby shower.
I’m 37 weeks and this is exactly how I feel, I’m hurting so bad I swear I want to love her but I’m struggling :(
I'm a tomboy too and I'm stressed
about this 😂😐😐
You don’t have to have children if you don’t want to
This terrifies me. I have depression anyway and the thought of having pnd absolutely terrifies me.
This is me right now. It's the worst but there's a light to it as well. Conflicted emotions and feelings all the time
This video is amazing! This woman was very brave with telling her story and I know it must've helped a lot of others out there who are struggling.
The video is amazing too! I love the props and the arts and craft being shown to symbolism what she is saying. I find it really unique and entertaining and it gives me ideas for when I become a film director!
Thank you so much for making this video, it's taken away the guilt I've had since my son was a year ago. When I was pregnant I was miserable. I hated the fact that I was pregnant, I felt like my life was being taken away and I was about to be enslaved by a tiny human. I was in such a deep depression, I cried and told family and doctors I didn't want the baby, I thought I'd be a terrible mother and on my lowest days I thought about stabbing my stomach. But at the same time I was spending hours most days researching everything a baby needs, spending every spare dollar I had on things for my baby. The entire pregnancy was a tug of war mentally. The moment I first held him though that all ended. I held him all night looking at him, amazed that I had made this perfect little baby. I was head over heels in love with him and I still am today. It's hard not to feel guilty for having such terrible thoughts and feelings while I was pregnant, but this has shown me that I'm not alone, I was ill, and it's ok. Any other women experiencing this please just hold on, I know it's hard and feels hopeless but believe me it gets so much better. You're baby is the light at the end of the tunnel, you just don't know it yet.
This is so old. But Thankyou. Your last sentence gave me HOPE.
But what if it doesn't change 😭🤯
@@ursaart4587 are you saying it hasn’t changed for you? I advise you to be kind to yourself and your baby, and get medical treatment. It’s ok to ask for help, postnatal depression is extremely common and there are people to help you. Also call your family, be honest with them and ask for help. Also if you are saying this while still pregnant I also understand your fear. I felt it too. Something I did that might help you is I held my baby and purposely tried to bond with him. After You give birth there are hormones that help you bond with your child, so I tried to give myself the best chance of getting that benefit by holding him and looking at him a lot in the first few days after birth. I didn’t feel instant love, I felt amazed that he came out of my body though. The love came with time.
@@datz2105 I’m sorry I just saw your reply. I hope you and your baby are ok.
@@ES-ku3oe I had my son in April. As soon as he was placed on my chest my whole mindset changed, I was obsessed with him straight away. Totally in love, I didn’t have any depression once he was born (again that’s just my story). My baby had a heart disease. We spent 3 months in ICU & we just couldn’t save him, he went to heaven in my arms 3 months ago. He was 5 months old. Now I just want to die.
There should be more of these, they’re informative and helpful
I have all the symptoms of depression. Plus, I relate to that poor woman, when I have nothing to do with her but my feelings! We are all conected.
Im six months pregnant, the sole thought of losing my child makes me cry and I truly love him but pregnancy has been such a btch to me. I wake up every day with this sense of impending doom, I dont enjoy the things I used to enjoy. I dont feel sad or angry, I just dont feel anything other than doom. As if Im no longer me. Fortunately Im surrounded by a great team of medical professionals, but I just want this feeling to go away.
The filming is on point and it's so deep praying for everyone suffering.
This is such a serious issue..so glad women are open enough to talk about it...I just hpe they get the support they need xx
I didn't know this was a thing. Thank you so much for sharing.
I love the visuals, they are really aesthetically pleasing
I'm 40 and a mother to a wonderful 16 year old daughter who I love and adore. I just found out a few weeks ago I'm pregnant and I just can't seem to shake this overwhelming feeling of regret and doubt 😞 I already suffer from depression, OCD and turrets. I'm on lexapro but my Dr wants to switch me as it's not the best medication to be on while pregnant. When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter I was scared but also SO incredibly happy and protective 💓 I feel so torn this time around. I'm happy but also asking myself wtf are you thinking having a kid at 40. I'm high risk and have high BP. Your video brought me to tears. It's comforting to know I'm not alone in feeling this way.
I really don't want kids (I'm a girl)
this video is so so sooo important. my mother recently told me that when my brother was a newborn, she was tempted to throw him into the snow to stop his crying permanently. she loves us both very much but thinking of how much mothers are suffering this is scary.
I had never heard of this, scary. I'm glad she shared her story.
I cannot express how accurate this is!!
The images that follow with her story gives it such a sweet yet heartbreaking taste. Everything beautiful has a consequence
Love this series!
I am about 4 and 1/2 months pregnant. I do not hate the baby, but I feel like I am not worthy to be a mother. I feel like a loser and a failure. I'm not some professional woman with her life all together. Sometimes I really hate myself and my life. How can I be a mother? God, this feeling is so painful, I can barely stand it. I have to pretend and hold back all of this, so people think I'm "normal". I have struggled with depression since I was a child, my mother and father had a loveless relationship and I know watching that started it all for me. I just feel like I can't do this. I cry in bed, calling out to God and asking, Why me? Why do you think I can do this? Where can I find the strength? Dear God I feel so alone. I've never been so down in my life. I need to see the light, someway, somehow.
How are you now dear? ❤️🙏🏽
I've never been pregnant but this is one of the reasons I don't want to be.
me neither .
This is exactly how I am feeling.
This brought me to tears … I am feeling half of this . So glad it had a happy ending
The story is beautiful and the art used to describe it is exquisite.
This is why ABORTION is super important
Thank you for helping to prepare us for this possible reality
I'm currently 38 weeks pregnant and I feel soooo, sooooo bad for depressive moms. I am a happy preggo, luckily.... Being pregnant IS hard and beautyful at the same time. Love to all moms and moms to be struggeling
We aren’t asking for pity. And you commenting that makes us feel worse.
My mum had post natal depression and she struggled she got though and so can everyone else struggling this is so important to talk about
I can relate to this mother. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m in a constant battle with myself wanting to be excited to be a mother and being angry and hateful that I’m pregnant. I have no control of my emotions, my body and thoughts.
My mum had post natal depression. She still didn't want me. 24 years later :( x
MendMyWings 7 Im sorry to hear this. Just know it is a chemical imbalance in her brain and nothing to do with you. Sending you lots of love!
summer lovering thanks x
God bless. 💗 Always look at the bright side hun at least you have a mother. There are some who are orphans and have seen their parents pass away from bomb attacks. 😭 We should always be grateful despite our problem. Lots of love xxx
Yasmin M. I know you probably " think" you're being kind and "helpful" but your comment was absolutely terrible. You can't just tell somebody to look at the "bright side" on something like this. Hence the whole meaning of this video. You wouldn't tell someone who just broke their leg to just "walk it off" or say, "look at the bright side, at least you didn't have your leg blown off at war" or, "at least you have two legs" It's not sympathetic at all. Compassion is the best answer in these types of situations.
Yasmin M. I haven't seen or spoke to her in years. But I'm okay with that. She was never really nice to me. So I don't really have her. But the bright side is that I have my dad and he does want me and is good to me. X
I think my mum got this when I was born. Only thing is 22 years later and she's still the same towards me lol
The visuals are amazing ❤
I'm currently struggling with these feelings at about 6 months, I've lost interest in things i used to like doing, i feel unmotivated and not excited about my first child. My parents remind me i have everything i could want or need and all the support I need yet I'm not happy about it. What's worse is sometimes they'll make me feel bad about being depressed when I have what they didn't when they were expecting. I feel her move and while i want her to take her time to develop i get tired of feeling her moving around inside me. I almost feel like I'm trapped in this body with someone else in it. She was an accident that my hypertension didn't let me get birth control pills for and i wish i could be happy instead of so miserable about her...
I feel sorry hope whoever goes through this gets help
Well, abortion legal in Ireland now... Britain will soon be an Islamic State at this rate. White women not wanting babies no more.
Ape Like Creature Biased much? What's wrong with Islam or a woman having a say whether she wants a child or not? Also how do you know the woman sharing her story in the video is white. What even is the purpose of this comment?
What's wrong with Islam? It contradicts everything these left wingers can't stop preaching.
Islamic birth-rates are exceptionally higher. When UK has 50% Islamic population we can expect Shariah Law to start being implemented.
ie. stoning to death, child marriage, men with 3 wives, death to apostates etc...
I am just over it. I'm already a mom and I love my child. But the baby I'm carrying now has me up at night. I don't want to be pregnant and it seems the longer I am the feeling of regret strangles me more. I do not know how I'm going to love her. And she's a girl, I didn't want a girl. I don't like her dad at all. I messed up really bad and I'm trapped. Admitting this to anyone around me is impossible. It's not hormones. It's not that I don't want more kids. I don't want this kid with this man. And there is nothing I can do about it now. I feel nothing but down about it.
My pregnancies were miserable. I had hyper emmisis, I threw up all day everyday until I'd lost 20 pounds and had to be put on Zofran when it was brand new and cost $36 per pill. Luckily it helped but I remember thinking I wanted to die, I didn't want to be dead but I just wanted it to stop. I would see all the women in the doctors office and they would say they were "a little sick" the first few months, and I hated them, they were glowing and I looked like a chemo patient with a basketball stuffed in my shirt.
Oh but I do feel more connected and bonded to my cats and dog then I ever did my baby..truth
Wow. This is exactly how I feel ☹️ 8 months pregnant .
I wish more people talked about this 🙌🏻
wow i love this show
We praying for you
I think there is some reality to the notion that it is the 'baby's' fault. The baby didn't do anything wrong of course, but the sense that we are losing our identity is most certainly related to the changes of pregnancy. The body being out of control, often feeling physically terrible and unable to stop it, knowing that not only our bodies and minds are changing in some real sense irreversibly, but also our whole life is now about something else. It's a miracle more women aren't stunningly floored by identity crises and depression while pregnant. Pregnancy is really weird (for many) and nothing can quite prepare you. It's backwards to think that it should 'feel natural'. It should freak people out. Women are people and this is an enormous upset to who they are, whether they want a baby or not.
I hate kids. I don't want to be pregnant ever. I want to be the most important person for my lover, family. I want to be free.
I absolutely hate the idea of being pregnant and I'm too involved with trying to get myself in order to worry about having children. And I will admit that I'd rather hang out with people my age than children, but this whole "I hate children" faux edginess is problematic and troubling. Hating children is not admirable. It's a character flaw. Hate the idea of having children, but don't hate children. They've done nothing to you.
A Hodgson Before holidays started i was in middle school and we were in the same building with primary school and kindergarten. I saw these rude brats with adhd every day. I don't want to be parent of something like that. Of course I'm not talking about 2-4 years old, they are usually quiet and sweet buuuuut they will grow up unfortunately.
ps. sorry for any mistakes but I'm not fluent in english
Rivialle hating kids isnt the point of this video. Get help weirdo.
moon e lol I don't care
cool anyways hating kids isnt cute or quirky, its fine to not want them, but hating them for no reason??? You're on some wack shit
We really need more videos of 'body language'.
I think people overromanticizes things. Pregnancy and in association, birth. It's painful, it's tiring, sometimes you don't develop a bond like others describe, and its a full time job. Taking care of you and the baby. Preparing for the baby. Then it doesn't end when you give birth because then you're a parent. That's at least 18 years of your life. It's not all bliss and flowers. People need to stop with the watered down romantic rose colored version of things and just be honest.
I want to now who the visual artists are ! As a experimental animator this is gold to me ~
It all started when I was in my 8th month of pregnancy...I felt so weak and couldnt be able to bear the fact that I was even pregnant..worst failed attempts to commit suicide..didn't want to share my feelings with nobody...feeling that I'm never gonna love my baby at any cost...all that was outta me were tears, hatred,and anger but nothing else...and the pinnacle would be me more hatred,more tears,more anger toward me and my baby for making all this happen..infinite anger and hatred toward my partner for makin me like this....
Lately I've started to console my self of everything....thinking of how to overcome..suggesting myself how I would feel better.....but there would
be times it creeps upon me and I would again feel worse...but it only occurs for shorter period compared to 4 years of rough mental anxiety...I hope I would get cured in the near future....
I'm currently going through this... am identity crisis, depression, anxiety, and my future feels so unsure... I don't feel like I can feel like this much longer. I'm 26 weeks right now and I've been severely depressed and felt like I don't know who I am. I don't feel like I have much support in general, but I have virtually no emotional support aside from my dog who had no idea what's going on. Meds have always been a struggle for me to take and they rarely work. I just wish I could be happy and felt connected to my baby.
Omg. Totally saying everything I am feeling. Like every bit of my thoughts
Whats the name of the song that starts at 3:40? Its really uplifting and beautiful!
Found it! Its Passing Time by Hannah Partington and the whole instrumental is so poignant.
This is definitely a fear I'm pretty sure I'll experience!
My mom didn’t want me before I was born and she didn’t want me after. She shouldn’t have had me
Don't say that!
Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault that your born, she might not want you but we and the whole world is very lucky to have you! (Sorry if that made it worse, I don't know how to comfort people but I want to make you feel appreciated as you are in this world)
Very interesting
What's the Name of the track playing in first part? You guys should put it up in the description for credits 👌🏽
I’m going through that right now - it’s horrific . I’m not even on medication yet , and im already 6 months pregnant
Be strong 💕
It's harsh not being loved by your mother/father/parents... Feel sad for those who have/had this fate.