I fight for hours or text fight all day, i say terrible things and feel justified in the moments and later feel like the biggest piece of crap. Its like my mind gets a high and i can't turn it off. It feels so aweful to respond to it. I think it is a way to cope. I struggle so much with this and its the worst part of me and i want it out of me! I need a first few steps and how to implement calming the hell down and not seeing my spouse as a enemy and accept the truth instead of falsifying it in my mind. There are alot of things that have brought me to this crazyness, but struggle to accept the truth when it is there. Its so much easier when i say it. But doing it is earth shattering. Thanks for these awesome videos!
Thank you. I'm sorry, I was away, but I'm back consistently now, so I'm hopeful this channel can give you some support. I genuinely appreciate the service you've given to this country, and I hope you can find some respite in these videos. Definitely sending you much peace!
I'm happy I've learned to observe myself from your lessons. Few days ago I could put it into practice. I could notice that I'm agitated, my head was literally boiling because of the heat. So instead of letting the bad mood ruin the day, I was able to notice the cause of discomfort and the solution was easy to find. I knew I needed an icecream and shadow asap, and everybody was happy 🙂 Thank you for the lessons! 🙏
"Stinking Thinking" what we do when we have to much time to think like at work. Dwelling on the past. Even making up scenarios and planning for what has never happened before. stinkin freakin thinkin, it's a real thing lol. We are not our thoughts! and yes absolutely 100% shut up and go to bed angry.
I just ordered that book off of Amazon and it's supposed to be here tomorrow. I can't wait to read it. I'm not in a relationship, but it's always good to read books like these. Thank you for writing these books and thank you for being you. Christian Conte
i think this videos really gonna help me minimalize the small arguments i bring up with my girlfriend. and yeah its true! my mimd does want to mimic my body & i see that now. thanks so much for posting this
100% And remember, be easy on yourself, but definitely do your best to try to catch yourself. Every new habit takes effort, but I promise that the habit of recognizing that your mind wants to match your body is one of the biggest game changers you can ever do for yourself. Sending you much peace!
Isn't it better to discuss the situation right away? I was always taught it's better to discuss the issue now and not let ot linger, because, that's how a person can stew over the issue and get angrier
Perfect timing for me. I needed to hear your advice. I recently started a medicine known for the side effects of increasing anxiety, depression and bad mood. I have been feeling very low indeed and I have been having intense negative thoughts, which are probably causing my body feeling worse, which in turn loops back to more negative thoughts... It makes complete sense. Thank you for sharing!
I'm so grateful you came across this, then. It's so powerful to practice avoiding running with the stories. Please do your best to keep being mindful of it, so that way you can be easy on yourself when your body feels down or anxious or anything else. Definitely sending you much peace!
It IS work! But work that is well worth it. I've spent the past 2 years as I've processed a divorce and separation learning and practicing mindfulness. Mediation has become a part of my life and has helped immensely. Your book on Anger was great, btw.
I actually started a fight with him this morning, trust me when I say that I feel terrible for it. Tonight, we spent hours talking to work out what went wrong and I realize now that before I started the fight I was feeling negative about something completely out of his control. This isn’t the first time I’ve started a fight just because I was feeling negative inside about something. Doctor, please do you have any advice on what to do afterwards? How do I handle these feelings of guilt and regret? I feel selfish for feeling sad because I’m the one who started it in the first place, and I am scared that my apologies have no meaning because my actions speak louder than words💔
First, I think your awareness is really great. You see that your actions speak louder, and that's key. Now the next step is to try to catch yourself a little sooner, and maybe even say verbatim, "Please know if I seem agitated that it has nothing to do with you, I'm seeing that my mind is trying to make up a story to make sense out of how I feel." And then maybe look at that video I did on getting angry without knowing why (it's an old video, and I should redo it, but it will help you with this point). It's easier to be angry than sad or anxious, so that's the reason you will likely try to find something to be angry about. And in regard to shame and regret, I would invite you to be easy on yourself and realize that you're doing the best you can in every given moment in life, and all you can do is learn from life's lessons... Plus, the more you carry shame into the future, the more your body reacts from that, too (again, I talk about that in that other video). I hope this helps. Sending you much peace!
@@DrChristianConte Thank you Dr, I will definitely try to apply that technique more frequently, took a screenshot of your response so I’ll have it to look back on🙏❤️
I wish you would keep the Buddhist statures out of the videos. I would not like to see crosses or any other religious items displayed also. I show your videos to clients in domestic violence groups and many are Christians or Muslims, or other faiths. It is inappropriate!.
Lay flat, sit down, go outdoors sit in shade. Stay calm is a key to a much happier life. ❤
I fight for hours or text fight all day, i say terrible things and feel justified in the moments and later feel like the biggest piece of crap. Its like my mind gets a high and i can't turn it off. It feels so aweful to respond to it. I think it is a way to cope. I struggle so much with this and its the worst part of me and i want it out of me! I need a first few steps and how to implement calming the hell down and not seeing my spouse as a enemy and accept the truth instead of falsifying it in my mind. There are alot of things that have brought me to this crazyness, but struggle to accept the truth when it is there. Its so much easier when i say it. But doing it is earth shattering. Thanks for these awesome videos!
Where you been? I subscribed when I was in PTSD treatment for 2 months at the VA. That was over a year ago. Your words dont go unnoticed. Thanks
Thank you. I'm sorry, I was away, but I'm back consistently now, so I'm hopeful this channel can give you some support. I genuinely appreciate the service you've given to this country, and I hope you can find some respite in these videos. Definitely sending you much peace!
Thank you for your service. It doesn't go unnoticed or not appreciated
I'm happy I've learned to observe myself from your lessons. Few days ago I could put it into practice. I could notice that I'm agitated, my head was literally boiling because of the heat. So instead of letting the bad mood ruin the day, I was able to notice the cause of discomfort and the solution was easy to find. I knew I needed an icecream and shadow asap, and everybody was happy 🙂 Thank you for the lessons! 🙏
That’s great to hear. And like everything, the more you keep doing it, the easier it gets. Definitely sending you much peace!
@@DrChristianConte 🙏☮️💙
"Stinking Thinking" what we do when we have to much time to think like at work. Dwelling on the past. Even making up scenarios and planning for what has never happened before. stinkin freakin thinkin, it's a real thing lol. We are not our thoughts! and yes absolutely 100% shut up and go to bed angry.
I just ordered that book off of Amazon and it's supposed to be here tomorrow. I can't wait to read it. I'm not in a relationship, but it's always good to read books like these. Thank you for writing these books and thank you for being you. Christian Conte
thanks for that information this could also be if i am much stressed
100%
great advice
i think this videos really gonna help me minimalize the small arguments i bring up with my girlfriend. and yeah its true! my mimd does want to mimic my body & i see that now. thanks so much for posting this
100% And remember, be easy on yourself, but definitely do your best to try to catch yourself. Every new habit takes effort, but I promise that the habit of recognizing that your mind wants to match your body is one of the biggest game changers you can ever do for yourself. Sending you much peace!
Isn't it better to discuss the situation right away? I was always taught it's better to discuss the issue now and not let ot linger, because, that's how a person can stew over the issue and get angrier
Perfect timing for me. I needed to hear your advice. I recently started a medicine known for the side effects of increasing anxiety, depression and bad mood. I have been feeling very low indeed and I have been having intense negative thoughts, which are probably causing my body feeling worse, which in turn loops back to more negative thoughts... It makes complete sense. Thank you for sharing!
I'm so grateful you came across this, then. It's so powerful to practice avoiding running with the stories. Please do your best to keep being mindful of it, so that way you can be easy on yourself when your body feels down or anxious or anything else. Definitely sending you much peace!
It IS work! But work that is well worth it. I've spent the past 2 years as I've processed a divorce and separation learning and practicing mindfulness. Mediation has become a part of my life and has helped immensely. Your book on Anger was great, btw.
Good videos. Just downloaded the book on Audible. Recommend you use a ringlight by the way
Can you actually drink 3 energy drinks??? Goodness!
Probably not in a healthy way... lol
I actually started a fight with him this morning, trust me when I say that I feel terrible for it. Tonight, we spent hours talking to work out what went wrong and I realize now that before I started the fight I was feeling negative about something completely out of his control. This isn’t the first time I’ve started a fight just because I was feeling negative inside about something. Doctor, please do you have any advice on what to do afterwards? How do I handle these feelings of guilt and regret? I feel selfish for feeling sad because I’m the one who started it in the first place, and I am scared that my apologies have no meaning because my actions speak louder than words💔
First, I think your awareness is really great. You see that your actions speak louder, and that's key. Now the next step is to try to catch yourself a little sooner, and maybe even say verbatim, "Please know if I seem agitated that it has nothing to do with you, I'm seeing that my mind is trying to make up a story to make sense out of how I feel." And then maybe look at that video I did on getting angry without knowing why (it's an old video, and I should redo it, but it will help you with this point). It's easier to be angry than sad or anxious, so that's the reason you will likely try to find something to be angry about. And in regard to shame and regret, I would invite you to be easy on yourself and realize that you're doing the best you can in every given moment in life, and all you can do is learn from life's lessons... Plus, the more you carry shame into the future, the more your body reacts from that, too (again, I talk about that in that other video). I hope this helps. Sending you much peace!
@@DrChristianConte Thank you Dr, I will definitely try to apply that technique more frequently, took a screenshot of your response so I’ll have it to look back on🙏❤️
Mind Yoga?
I wish you would keep the Buddhist statures out of the videos. I would not like to see crosses or any other religious items displayed also. I show your videos to clients in domestic violence groups and many are Christians or Muslims, or other faiths. It is inappropriate!.