Dr. Conte, I have missed your weekly dose of calm reality. Betrayal is a special kind of hurt because of the element of surprise and shock, and loss of trust.
@@livinglargecoachingcounseling A., Thank you for your kindness. B., You are so right: it’s element of shock that adds to the pain. There’s a lot more to say about this, but I wanted to at least add something to be helpful for people who are going through this. Definitely sending you much gratitude and peace! 🙏🏼
Thank you Mr Conte appreciate you alot for making this video on my behalf and it was very informative ❤ my wife made me watch it twice even. Your videos are excellent, I appreciate you alot. Tariq
free plug because i believe in his book so much. "walking through anger" is such a great book. thank you Dr. Conte, if you are reading this. thank you. i suffered from unhealthy mental habits that kept me dissatisfied. love the book. great message. has helped me get at peace in so many ways. i am where i am, in part, because of this book. thank you. i did have minor problems putting some of the steps into practice where i felt like i was being abused. i stayed in an abusive relationship because i didnt set the boundaries. not the books fault. just i wish i had been able to practice better setting the boundary WHILE listening, validating, and exploring options. THANK YOU OHH AND I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS. KEEP them coming if you are up for it. they help besides the book which i reread.
Thank you so much for your kind thoughts on my book. I really appreciate that. And I think it speaks a lot about you that you recognize the difference between knowing a message and practicing it, and you are absolutely right that it's not easy to always practice what we know. Learning to set and keep boundaries is so important for all of us. Please know I am most definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace and gratitude!
Thank you! betrayal hurts. But at some point you have to consider that you don't want people who betray you in your life anyway, and it's like trash taking itself out;. I'm older and wiser now. And most older people who betray other people, are going to do it to the next person and the next person and so on. In fact, It's a really high % of marriages that fail where one person who cheated on another person to be with that person in a marriage, fail, because they either do it to the current person, or the current person thinks that the person who cheated with the current person to be in the marriage, is going to do it to them as well.
Yes, it definitely does hurt. You are absolutely right also, that we don't want those who do that in our lives, so usually after the pain subsides, we tend to be grateful not to be around that person anymore. I think learning from every moment is what really matters for all of us. Thank you for taking the time to watch and comment! Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
@@DrChristianConte Same to you, People need to hang on til the indifference toward the betrayer sets in, that is a wonderful feeling. I know for me, once I feel indifference toward someone there is no way for that person to come back from that.
Hey buddy its Matt from Brownsville, I love your videos, they help a ton , I’d really like a few mins of your time if you ever come home to see your parents or your brother.
How do I understand betrayal in regard to my husband drinking behind my back for several months, losing his job due to him getting a dui in his work truck, and promising he won't do it again but ends up doordashing alcohol while I'm at work, finding him passed out on the front porch drunk, and then few days later getting drunk and suicidal w a gun in front of me w our young children home. It hurts, I'm angry and I don't understand
@@samanthalynnjenkins8488 first, I’m so sorry to hear this. Second, remember that understanding why doesn’t necessarily take away the pain you feel, but it can help you understand the best direction to go. One way to view what happened is to understand that people’s battle with addiction isn’t personal toward others, even their loved ones. This does not excuse his behavior in any way, but it might help you to know his struggles with addiction might be less about betrayal and more about the difficulties he has with addiction. Again, this doesn’t mean you can’t and shouldn’t set very clear boundaries, but what it can mean for you is that if he is struggling with addiction, he is not likely trying to hurt you as much as he apparently needs real help. Once you set clear boundaries and stick to them, if you want to understand why he does what he does, then I would point you in the direction of seeking to understand addiction, because I think that will bring you the kind of clarity you might be seeking. I hope this helps. Sending you all my best and much peace. 🙏🏼
Dr. Conte, I have missed your weekly dose of calm reality. Betrayal is a special kind of hurt because of the element of surprise and shock, and loss of trust.
@@livinglargecoachingcounseling A., Thank you for your kindness. B., You are so right: it’s element of shock that adds to the pain. There’s a lot more to say about this, but I wanted to at least add something to be helpful for people who are going through this. Definitely sending you much gratitude and peace! 🙏🏼
I really appreciate you and your videos. Thank you for all you do.
Thank you. Sending you tons of gratitude and peace!
Thank you Mr Conte appreciate you alot for making this video on my behalf and it was very informative ❤ my wife made me watch it twice even. Your videos are excellent, I appreciate you alot. Tariq
free plug because i believe in his book so much. "walking through anger" is such a great book. thank you Dr. Conte, if you are reading this. thank you. i suffered from unhealthy mental habits that kept me dissatisfied. love the book. great message. has helped me get at peace in so many ways. i am where i am, in part, because of this book. thank you. i did have minor problems putting some of the steps into practice where i felt like i was being abused. i stayed in an abusive relationship because i didnt set the boundaries. not the books fault. just i wish i had been able to practice better setting the boundary WHILE listening, validating, and exploring options. THANK YOU
OHH AND I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS. KEEP them coming if you are up for it. they help besides the book which i reread.
Thank you so much for your kind thoughts on my book. I really appreciate that. And I think it speaks a lot about you that you recognize the difference between knowing a message and practicing it, and you are absolutely right that it's not easy to always practice what we know. Learning to set and keep boundaries is so important for all of us. Please know I am most definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace and gratitude!
Thank you! betrayal hurts. But at some point you have to consider that you don't want people who betray you in your life anyway, and it's like trash taking itself out;. I'm older and wiser now. And most older people who betray other people, are going to do it to the next person and the next person and so on. In fact, It's a really high % of marriages that fail where one person who cheated on another person to be with that person in a marriage, fail, because they either do it to the current person, or the current person thinks that the person who cheated with the current person to be in the marriage, is going to do it to them as well.
Yes, it definitely does hurt. You are absolutely right also, that we don't want those who do that in our lives, so usually after the pain subsides, we tend to be grateful not to be around that person anymore. I think learning from every moment is what really matters for all of us. Thank you for taking the time to watch and comment! Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
@@DrChristianConte Same to you, People need to hang on til the indifference toward the betrayer sets in, that is a wonderful feeling. I know for me, once I feel indifference toward someone there is no way for that person to come back from that.
Thank you for another excellent talk!
@@annasmith9494 🙏🏼
Great video Doc.
@@joemosser8119 🙏🏼
Reflections of Peace 💞
@@fairygurl9269 🙏🏼
Hey buddy its Matt from Brownsville, I love your videos, they help a ton , I’d really like a few mins of your time if you ever come home to see your parents or your brother.
How do I understand betrayal in regard to my husband drinking behind my back for several months, losing his job due to him getting a dui in his work truck, and promising he won't do it again but ends up doordashing alcohol while I'm at work, finding him passed out on the front porch drunk, and then few days later getting drunk and suicidal w a gun in front of me w our young children home. It hurts, I'm angry and I don't understand
@@samanthalynnjenkins8488 first, I’m so sorry to hear this. Second, remember that understanding why doesn’t necessarily take away the pain you feel, but it can help you understand the best direction to go. One way to view what happened is to understand that people’s battle with addiction isn’t personal toward others, even their loved ones. This does not excuse his behavior in any way, but it might help you to know his struggles with addiction might be less about betrayal and more about the difficulties he has with addiction. Again, this doesn’t mean you can’t and shouldn’t set very clear boundaries, but what it can mean for you is that if he is struggling with addiction, he is not likely trying to hurt you as much as he apparently needs real help. Once you set clear boundaries and stick to them, if you want to understand why he does what he does, then I would point you in the direction of seeking to understand addiction, because I think that will bring you the kind of clarity you might be seeking. I hope this helps. Sending you all my best and much peace. 🙏🏼