I would be too! *who in the FUCK DOESNT KNOW THAT YOU LAYER THE FUCKING FOOD & EXTRA INGREDIENTS OF CHOICE WHEN MAKING A BURRITO?!?!?!?!* how in the fuck *does somebody who doesn't know how to do something, that is so simple like, PROPERLY making peoples burritos even keep their position in the 'assembly' line? honestly, tell me, how?!?!?!?* if the trump administration/the man himself were competent, this monster, *this monster* that molested this poor souls burrito, would be in prison by now, *doing life.* *fifteen times over.* *as well as being placed on a "special diet" that consists of nothing but shitty jail/peison soup, and, half an even prison bologna prison sandwich with unsalted butter for the remainder of their sentence!!*
I used to think that it was condescending for MCdonalds to send people to burger school....This man summarized EVERY SINGLE CHIPOTLE experience I have EVER had. I truly belive that they hire these people just to destroy my faith in humanity. PLEASE CHIPOLTE CREATE BURRITO SCHOOL.
@@fartsunltd6981 honestly though the McDonalds university has some great leadership classes and actually counts as credits to some degrees. Starbucks will cover your barista license. I'm sure chipotle could create something similiar
He just sent 900,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 nukes at this person with a tweet. Usually people will be to scared to say something and deal with it and even though I only had a burrito once I knew it was an Abomination so I'm proud at this person for speaking out about this monstrosity
7:49 That guy and his rant about the burrito... the rage... the fury... the incredible amount of salt content all condensed into a few paragraphs... I just... am so proud. I aspire to be him.
I'm keeping my edits to a seperate comment, because... I'm sane. 10 likes? I'm actually really surprised. This is the most likes I have gotten on any comment of mine. Thanks a ton! Edit 2: 20? Thanks a lot, everyone! 'Precciate it! Edit 3: Wow, 30?! Man, that was fast. Thanks! Edit 4: 40 likes, now! Noice. If I reach 50, my edits will end there, cuz any more would be... just obnoxious. Final Edit: We've reached it, boys! 50 likes! Thanks a million to everyone. And, now, my edits shall go silent. FINAL Edit: 600. I'm sorry, but WHERE DID YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE COME FROM!?
He poisoned, shot, stabbed, rolled up in a carpet, thrown into a freezing river, recovered, set on fire, pissed on, THEN dismembered, and each piece was thrown into separate volcanoes.
Guy who made the burrito: "Here you go!" Guy eating drives away. Takes one bite. Teleports back to the restaurant. Guy who ate the burrito: "So, you have chosen..... DEATH.
I would go to the nearest gun shop, purchase the best gun and use 100 bullets to kill him and thats just the start Then i purchase 5 grenades and i throw them at the guy, then maybe trowing all the things i could find and burn them, then i prepare a normall burrito and enjoy
@@cajhagglund1328 that dude has become the king of the grill because that roast has set the best fucking fire ever inside that dude's dignity. He will probably need antidepresants for that one and a couple of years of therapy.
i agree with everything except the fork part, i mean im not some Neanderthal eating a burrito trying to look fancy but if anything falls out of my burrito onto the plate im not gonna eat it with my hands like a chimpanze trying to clean a fellow of any bugs, i use the plastic fork chipotle gave me and i scoop up the few beans i dropped and eat it that way when im finished with the rest of the burrito i didn't drop
And like he was mostly nonviolent except for one time he chased people out of the temple with a whip. Nail gun is Jesus approved, regular gun not so much
I literally go out of my way to listen to the "Burrito Rant" because it gives me second hand anger and horror while making me laugh like a dying smoker.
The local burrito place that was near where I used to work sold some of the best burritos and they were only $3 because of how obscure that places I forget it exist or I would go their way more often.
That single father one had me smile. My best friend is a single dad, his wife died of childbirth, and despite everything he's raising his little princess to be a fine woman one day.
And gets better with more queso! (Unless you’re vegan or vegetarian or lactose intolerant... then you can have oreos on it, fajita veggies, or some kind of spicy shredded meat! And not even just that.)
Kikos Laz you know i was just driving down the youtube comments but no THERE WAS A FORK IN THE ROAD. Like really man come on WHO EVEN HAS A FORK AROUND A FUCKING ROAD.
King franco Gale also if Jesus was a carpenter wouldn’t a nail gun be great, as not only is it a useful tool to his trade but also illustrates his call to non-violence?
This is basically what their existence in that post was #what #can #I #say #that #sounds #totally #random #and #dumb #but #somehow #get #popularity #from #it
who ever said "eat it with a fork" I wish a very terrible, and horrible lonely life and that they will have as many children get sick as they possibly can.
Harassment - aggressive pressure or intimidation. JFK and Lincoln were assassinated and didn't even know it was gonna happen. By definition that's not harassment.
"They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FREAKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY" IM DYING RIGHT NIW
Seth Daniels Joseph initially trained Jesus to be a carpenter and the two worked together in his shop until Jesus started preaching if I recall correctly
To the "not tech savvy" thing around 1:50, I have an interesting story. My grandmother is nearing seventy years old. Her husband, my late grandfather, was very into computers, his job was in system administration in fact. However, my grandmother is TERRIBLE with computers. Grandpa would always get frustrated because, once a week or more, he would have to help her do the same six things on her computer. After his death, my mom took over the "computer nerd" position in the family, and had to help grandma check her email and such. So, Mom told her what to type and where, WATCHED GRANDMA DO IT CORRECTLY, and got an error. Mom took the laptop, did the SAME DAMN THING, and it worked. We swear it is Grandma's kryptonite or a curse or something.
This thing about bashing on other generations is really tiresome. Last thing we need right now is another means of dividing us, particularly from our own family members, as we all have close relatives & family friends across multiple generations.
Was this channel started by slazo, I remeber slazo talking about reddit videos and all that and I've found some private videos in this channel I figured since you still dont have a comment, you'd get this as a notifications. Please help I cant remeber and I cant sleep because of it
Yeah Slazo got in trouble because his gf basically tried to ruin his life through lies, and Damian took over the channel during that period. I dunno how things worked out between the two after Slazo defended himself. I don't think they're on bad terms with each other though.
The baby boomer tech thing is so relatable because I have two parents who are like “how do you turn this thing on” and I’m like PRESS THE BUTTON THAT SAYS POWER GREG. Are you that blind
my Abuelita: mía, mi telephono es in Hebrew me: ok one sec, Papi! Abuela changed her phone language again! my dad: how the fuck! does she do that?!?!? I don't even know how to do that! *after my dad comes home after going to my Abuelita's house* me: what's wrong? my dad: her phone.was in English.she mistook it. for Hebrew.
As someone with high-functioning autism AND two anxiety disorders, I can guarantee that I would start a riot if people started paying people with disabilities less than minimum wage.
@@joshuaellery6167 If you were half as motivational as that post you would start contributing to society in a meaningful way rather than reviewing body pillows, you fucking peice of shit. Wait no, a peice of shit is more helpful than your fucking ass because at least then we could make some goddamn fertilizer in order to feed your 150 kg ass.
7:52 This burrito maker was strangled, chopped into disgusting little bits, and then his bits were burned to ashes, squished into goo, and destroyed at atomic level.
I laughed so hard at the burrito guy that I nearly passed out, it's too relatable the more they explain the more atrocious it sounds. I would react the same way if I got that, that burrito is like the layers of hell. Also use a fork?? Whoever suggested that is just as sadistic as the person who created that monstrosity. The best part is that you can clearly see the decline in their sanity as the rant goes on, it starts out level headed and proper but gradually falls into them further loosing it with each passage.
7:51 man. i love this person so much. the way they went through great lengths to tell a random person on the internet how fucking stupid they are is so amazing and i care for them.
Gopteens: what would Jesus favorite gun be? Some person on Twitter: a nail gun Gopteens: blocked Me: that would probably be true.....they do realize Jesus was a carpenter, right? right?
GOP teens is as cringe as possible They said “You aren’t #funny considered yourself #blocked” These idiots made hashtags fucking hashtags just to seem cool
@@siddharthbutala6781 You do realize that we made St. Lawrence, who was tided to a metal grate and roasted over a fire, the patron saint of barbecues? And that St. Lucy is the patron saint of optometrists because she lost her eyes? The Catholic Church has somewhat dark sense of humor. As a Roman Catholic that guy was actually pretty funny. It was what he was replying to I found offensive.
Lil Poods He’s actually a very successful guy, he created card games including Superfight and a lot of other cool stuff, he streams on twitch, (his name is Jack Dire). He also has an Instagram page (Jack Dire) and made and runs the Fake Ads Official Instagram page. I use to run his Discord server. Check him out.
XD I can't anymore, that burrito rant had me in tears and struggling to breath. Took me a while to stop laughing, I just start all over again after thinking I've calmed down.
“wOrsT PrEsiDEntial harASSmEnt EvER” Abe Lincoln, James A. Garfield, William McKinley, Theodore Roosevelt, JFK, and Ronald Reagan: “am I an f-ing joke to you?”
To the man who wrote that burrito thing, you're a fucking legend, the fact that you have the patience and passion to write that earned you my fucking respect, and all the zones and land joke stuff was hilarious, I couldn't breathe, you are a genius and God, thank you
5:38 That's because pregnant teens were expelled from their schools, they had other schools just for pregnant teens, because they were not seen fit for the public eye
The burrito one belonged in a whole different plane of existence. Murdered by words? More like Abducted, Stabbed, Crushed, Boiled, Decapitated, and Burned by words.
@@Napoleon_based too bad i don't live in the US. And when someone says that if you test less people, you would have less cases, yeah idk I wouldn't vote for him (not that Biden is better)
@@EchthelionII Haha, that reminds me of that time when i was working in a mourgue and i accidentally opened pictures of children and i got so hard right next to the corpses and it was awkard as hell
The burrito part sounds like my school with taco salad, they put 90% of lettuce in the salad at the other 10% is a mixture of cheese, salsa, ground beef, and chips
I have never once eaten a burrito in my entire life but I agree with that guy so badly Also who where the weirdos who suggested that op use the fork???? Update: 2021 oct 26 just had one it’s great
I feel so happy that someone said something to the person who was saying people with learning disabilities be allowed to work for less than minimum wage I’m so glad
"...let me explain:
you're an idiot
let me further explain:..."
this guy was pissed
*(guy who made burrito)*
"why do i hear boss music?"
I would be too!
*who in the FUCK DOESNT KNOW THAT YOU LAYER THE FUCKING FOOD & EXTRA INGREDIENTS OF CHOICE WHEN MAKING A BURRITO?!?!?!?!*
how in the fuck *does somebody who doesn't know how to do something, that is so simple like, PROPERLY making peoples burritos even keep their position in the 'assembly' line? honestly, tell me, how?!?!?!?* if the trump administration/the man himself were competent, this monster, *this monster* that molested this poor souls burrito, would be in prison by now, *doing life.* *fifteen times over.*
*as well as being placed on a "special diet" that consists of nothing but shitty jail/peison soup, and, half an even prison bologna prison sandwich with unsalted butter for the remainder of their sentence!!*
I'd be too if someone fucked up my burrito that badly
I used to think that it was condescending for MCdonalds to send people to burger school....This man summarized EVERY SINGLE CHIPOTLE experience I have EVER had. I truly belive that they hire these people just to destroy my faith in humanity. PLEASE CHIPOLTE CREATE BURRITO SCHOOL.
@@fartsunltd6981 honestly though the McDonalds university has some great leadership classes and actually counts as credits to some degrees.
Starbucks will cover your barista license.
I'm sure chipotle could create something similiar
The burrito post was so big, 24 distinct time zones lay within its borders
he wanted to make those zones as distinct and painful as the zones of the burrito he mentioned
Yet still better constructed than the burrito itself.
All separated into different layers you dominate one at a time
I call the burrito a fart taco
and lettuce country, can’t forget that
That burrito one was not a murder by words, it was a damn massacre, heck a war crime.
He just sent 900,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 nukes at this person with a tweet.
Usually people will be to scared to say something and deal with it and even though I only had a burrito once I knew it was an Abomination so I'm proud at this person for speaking out about this monstrosity
A genocide
Quick make a subreddit called nukedbywords
@@cinnamontoasthecc_8596 amen to that frendo!
He did to that man with words what you do to gladiators in Gorn with a mace, fuckin bloodbath
That burrito rant was the single greatest thing I ever heard to date
I cried
Timestamp is 7:48
@Elizabeth Perry Absolute beauty
It just goes and goes 🤣
Indeed
Legend has it that the dude who made that post about the burrito was Gordon Ramsay going undercover on tumblr...
First guy/gal to actually impress me with a childish profile.Nice
Kanye West I am impressed at how condescending you are
Gordon Ramsey wishes he was capable of producing this level of sophisticated destruction.
No it was Jack Dire. Look him up, he's a fucking legend
I wouldn't be surprised if that ended up being true.
7:49 That guy and his rant about the burrito... the rage... the fury... the incredible amount of salt content all condensed into a few paragraphs... I just... am so proud. I aspire to be him.
I'm keeping my edits to a seperate comment, because... I'm sane.
10 likes? I'm actually really surprised. This is the most likes I have gotten on any comment of mine. Thanks a ton!
Edit 2: 20? Thanks a lot, everyone! 'Precciate it!
Edit 3: Wow, 30?! Man, that was fast. Thanks!
Edit 4: 40 likes, now! Noice. If I reach 50, my edits will end there, cuz any more would be... just obnoxious.
Final Edit: We've reached it, boys! 50 likes! Thanks a million to everyone. And, now, my edits shall go silent.
FINAL Edit: 600. I'm sorry, but WHERE DID YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE COME FROM!?
We can all hope to one day acquire the power to curse that creatively, that colorfully, that *_majestically_*
@@jazz_daddy251 Indeed, my friend. Indeed.
That's because all the salt was like 3 inches long in the burrito
@@YaYa-rf6lb A perfect addition to my comment.
all these posts: murdered by words
the burrito rant: sniped, mutilated, and cremated by words
war crime by words
Probably got his soul swiped by Death too.
Quick someone make r/crematedbywords
No no, you’re getting it all wrong you morons!
It’s OBVIOUSLY *r/whatthef*ck
What about the boomer thread
There’s a baby boomer in my neighborhood that said “okay boomer.” to herself once. She’s at least trying.
LogicalNonsense
Well that’s a start.
Why do I think this is kinda cute-
You're lucky. 90% of my city is boomer
Skunknoodles is it in oregon?
Congrats
*sees burrito essay*
this man wasnt murdered. he was DISMEMBERED
But the burrito was
He poisoned, shot, stabbed, rolled up in a carpet, thrown into a freezing river, recovered, set on fire, pissed on, THEN dismembered, and each piece was thrown into separate volcanoes.
Then eaten with a spoon
Dismembered blended up and canibalized as a human smoothie
Dismembered then cooked steeped in a vat of acid, frozen solid and pulverized
Guy who made the burrito: "Here you go!"
Guy eating drives away. Takes one bite.
Teleports back to the restaurant.
Guy who ate the burrito: "So, you have chosen..... DEATH.
*"Peace was never an option"*
*"Your death shall be entertaining"*
I would go to the nearest gun shop, purchase the best gun and use 100 bullets to kill him and thats just the start
Then i purchase 5 grenades and i throw them at the guy, then maybe trowing all the things i could find and burn them, then i prepare a normall burrito and enjoy
I wasn't ready for the burrito one
It was *I N T E N S E*
Chillerup so intense
I was your one-hundredth like! I have waited so long to be the hundredth like of something. My life is fulfilled.
@@allyyiu4774 I have waited for so long to 100 likes. Thanks to you I checked this comment my life is now semi complete
No one was
@@cajhagglund1328 that dude has become the king of the grill because that roast has set the best fucking fire ever inside that dude's dignity.
He will probably need antidepresants for that one and a couple of years of therapy.
Burrito guy didn’t overreact
Everything he typed was completely justified
Correction, he underrated
I don't understand the burrito part.
The burrito with a fork 🤣that made me laugh so hard
i agree with everything except the fork part, i mean im not some Neanderthal eating a burrito trying to look fancy
but if anything falls out of my burrito onto the plate im not gonna eat it with my hands like a chimpanze trying to clean a fellow of any bugs, i use the plastic fork chipotle gave me and
i scoop up the few beans i dropped and eat it that way when im finished with the rest of the burrito i didn't drop
@@conorburke8220 ok man
Got your point
The burrito guy is the sith aprentice of Gordon Ramsay
Hahaha “i haven’t cried since i was six, but i’m fucking sobbing right now” instantly reminded me of him
He might even be better
Yep
I eat cereal with a fork and I don't like buritto's.
@@oriontigley5089 hero
The burrito one made me cry
"In conclusion, you are the worst thing to ever happen to the universe."
I feel like that was targeted to me lol
Captain Waa
Your name matches your comment well...
Natalie Chua it’s the noise Waluigi makes
Captain Waa ahh, that makes more sense
Ever laugh and wail at the same time? Then need to pause because you laughed so hard your bladder muscles nearly failed you?
Yeah... me neither...
Dude, the guy who wrote the burrito rant *HAS* to be Gordon ramsay
That squids so raw you can here it telling sponge Bob to *flip* off
@@sarahcerar8049 the meat's that frozen it's singing let it go
No, he didn't say "fucking" between every word.
*HAS*
Not enough f Bonn’s to be Gordon, it’s his more tame cousin Gordy.
Man, imagine being the guy who wrapped that burrito scrolling through twitter after work and seeing that tweet. I'd shit my pants.
How can a mop with a costume on shit itself?
That's tumbler
that is tumblr
@@lxmesoda shhh media is media
That's tinder
Imagine messing up a burrito so bad that this appeared in your notifications.
@Someone 333 impossible
@@BananaWasTaken Oh it's possible alright
Wait-
Poor git I guess
Well, you get that for making THAT burrito
White PPL moment
I mean, Jesus was a carpenter so hed probably be pretty cool with a nail gun, crucifixion aside
Valentine exactly.
And like he was mostly nonviolent except for one time he chased people out of the temple with a whip. Nail gun is Jesus approved, regular gun not so much
I was expecting someone to say "water gun", really.
They didnt have nail guns back then
@@steelers3321
That's the point, though, isn't it? As a carpenter, a nail gun would be an incredible invention.
7:51 this dude literally typed a whole essay about how to eat a burrito
But kudos to him I can't even write a paragraph of 6 sentences before givin up
Na bruh, he wrote somethin longer than the bible
Correction, how to prepare a burrito, and the many ways it's not meant to be eaten despite creative improbability.
"Let me explain. You're an idiot. Let me explain further." The most powerful argument I've ever read
Mexican 100
**reads novel about a burrito**
Literally two posts later reading a small paragraph: wow this one is long...
That's what she said
As someone who works in a Mexican fast food store: the burrito one ended my entire life. I am going to print it out and stick it on a wall at work.
Soooooo did you really do it? What was their reactions to it?
up
Up
...if you have coworkers who assemble burritos like that please beat them over the head with the nearest cutting board, good lord
@@allyenderman1502 are you...the burrito guy's apprentice?
That burrito story was *roughly* 3.5 minutes long
That guy was an Angry Lad
So, I guess you could say an absolute "mad"lad?
LETTUCE
Can't ruin the Burrito Man's burrito
But he was right and you can not change my opinion
Ghost Zombies 699
That.. Burrito rant touched my soul, and I feel blessed
I'm sorry I would like but it's at 69 and I don't want to mess it up
@@childofdog1629 Don't worry bruh, it was 99 and I liked it just to make it 100, made up for ya.
@@footballophileinaeternum5344 thank you
1 more like till 400 likes
I’m 399
My time has come
as soon as he said "dear guy who made my burrito" I was like "friccin yes I love this one"
I literally go out of my way to listen to the "Burrito Rant" because it gives me second hand anger and horror while making me laugh like a dying smoker.
In conclusion:
Wrap your darn burritos correctly.
*dang
We family friendly here
It was wrapped correctly, it just wasn't filled correctly
Sarah Cerar I wish at least 55% is family friendly on the internet
LETTUCE
Aaron Zaharias CARROTS
Burrito costumer: *"I'm gonna end this man's whole career."*
Ur pic tho! XD
@@homosexualgayming9706 he has a B O N E R
@@funtimetothebasket4963 *O H N O*
Customer?
I (also) havent cried for years, but this one had me with tears streaming down my face and chuckling like a mad man for literally half an hour.
That burrito post hits me right in my soul.
...
Bless that man and I hope he had much better made burritos 😂
The local burrito place that was near where I used to work sold some of the best burritos and they were only $3 because of how obscure that places I forget it exist or I would go their way more often.
Hi ???
Gordon Ramsey after reading the Burrito Story:
*My True Succesor*
No he is to dangerous to be left alive
Finally, a worthy opponent! Our battle will be legendary!
7:52
I feel like he just was like oh okay and super chill in person then raged all the way back home-
Like a good introvert
Mow/woff/insert bad misspellings of pet animal noise here
Sounds like something I'd do.
I’d do the same
Sounds like a classic introvert to me
THANK YOU FOR THE TIME STAMP SO I CAN JUST REWATCH IT *OVER AND OVER AGAIN*
That single father one had me smile. My best friend is a single dad, his wife died of childbirth, and despite everything he's raising his little princess to be a fine woman one day.
Everyone who sees this comment, press F in the replies. Props to you good fellow.
F
F
F
F
Life is like a burrito.
It isn't made up of singular things after other singular things.
It is an amalgamation of things.
And gets better with more queso! (Unless you’re vegan or vegetarian or lactose intolerant... then you can have oreos on it, fajita veggies, or some kind of spicy shredded meat! And not even just that.)
Except all the ingredients are moldy, raw, or wilted.
My first burrito was horrible, it was all lettuce and orange juice, but it had cheese at least.
11:42 'This guy's got so much to say', yet the last thing they read was like 8 paragraphs long.
he needs to publish a book that's just 8-paragraph rants about stupid stuff he saw on the internet or stupid things in his daily life
@@shaddysehly5040I would buy the entire series.
"Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They're called fucking hands"
Burrito forks down, best thing i read this week
The pun wasnt so good but i FORK-give you
Kikos Laz you know i was just driving down the youtube comments but no THERE WAS A FORK IN THE ROAD. Like really man come on WHO EVEN HAS A FORK AROUND A FUCKING ROAD.
What the *fork* is wrong with you Kikos that pun sucked.
I like this guy
King franco Gale also if Jesus was a carpenter wouldn’t a nail gun be great, as not only is it a useful tool to his trade but also illustrates his call to non-violence?
“A nail gun”
“Not #funny you are #blocked”
Me: wasn’t Jesus a carpenter
I think they missed they part. It would've been more funny the other way.
5 year olds be like *GoLdEN ScaR*
Now I feel awkward
This is basically what their existence in that post was
#what #can #I #say #that #sounds #totally #random #and #dumb #but #somehow #get #popularity #from #it
@@gageshirar2285 #dudes #stop hashtagging(###) #wtf #whatiswrongwithyou #stupid #lmao #savage
Wasn't #Jesus a #pacifist?
7:03
Transgender
More than meets the eye
Transgender
Robots in disguise
Penis in disguise
@@Roo2live ohhhh
personally if you were to make me a cyborg I'd be cool with it.
@@Roo2live I don't know why but this made me laugh too much... I think I might be at my breaking point
Sing this to the tune of YMCA
50% of this video is about someone having a mental breakdown about a burrito
I love the internet
The burrito post is my favorite thing ever I'm literally in tears
7:48 This guy should be a poet. This is the best review I've ever heard
I appreciate that man's dedication to making a good burrito, and I hope that he only gets the greatest burritos from this day onwards.
who ever said "eat it with a fork" I wish a very terrible, and horrible lonely life and that they will have as many children get sick as they possibly can.
i hope the doctors force there kids to not be vaccinated so they get measles
Calm down little devil
@@mj_jm4336 no let them burn for their sins
Calm down there satan
“This is the highest level of presidential harassment in the history of the United States.”
Yeah, well, JFK and Lincoln didn’t get off any easier.
Harassment - aggressive pressure or intimidation. JFK and Lincoln were assassinated and didn't even know it was gonna happen. By definition that's not harassment.
Silver String
You’re right.
It’s worse.
@@heyyou9472 I know. I think Theodore Roosevelt got it the worst though. He got shot and still finished his speech.
I like Donald tho...
Seems like a real stand up dude. Both in comedic way and the cool guy way.
neither did Garfield
7:52 - 11:17
Burrito essay time! Take notes as this will be on the midterm test on HOW TO F*CKING MAKE A BURRITO
I didn't realize how long it actually was holy cow
@@bioniclink3026 None of us did
bionic link how did he just read that with probably a straight face
This guy actually wrote a whole story book
It took... OVER THREE MINUTES
*The burrito rant dude made war, and I'm on his god darn side.*
*starting WWIII because of a burrito*
He will single handily win WWIII for us
Fuck the burrito guy
s1m4r You seem like a fun guy
@@Scazoid to be fair WWI started because turkey sandwich
"They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FREAKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY" IM DYING RIGHT NIW
"back in the day there were no teenage pregnancies"
My 19 year old cousin with a 34 year old mother: are you sure about that?
Gilda'sDoingStuff apparently this person hasn’t met my mother. She had my oldest sister at 19.
@@LunaP1 but she was 15 when she had her daughter according to this
Old People being stupid and delusional.
Uncharted Raider
No shit Sherlock
@@LunaP1 same.
The burrito rant makes my day every time i hear it.😂😂😂😂
You know, Jesus WAS a carpenter. He probably would've LOVED nail guns.
Really? I thought that was more his dads thing (Joseph, not God)
Seth Daniels Joseph initially trained Jesus to be a carpenter and the two worked together in his shop until Jesus started preaching if I recall correctly
@@sirboomsalot4902 Correct. It was part of God's plan to keep him humble according to the Bible.
And I'm sure he appreciated the craftsmanship of the cross that he burned on.
Fuck you
7:55 i’m literally eating a burrito right as he says this
Hey give me a meme
To the "not tech savvy" thing around 1:50, I have an interesting story. My grandmother is nearing seventy years old. Her husband, my late grandfather, was very into computers, his job was in system administration in fact. However, my grandmother is TERRIBLE with computers. Grandpa would always get frustrated because, once a week or more, he would have to help her do the same six things on her computer.
After his death, my mom took over the "computer nerd" position in the family, and had to help grandma check her email and such. So, Mom told her what to type and where, WATCHED GRANDMA DO IT CORRECTLY, and got an error. Mom took the laptop, did the SAME DAMN THING, and it worked.
We swear it is Grandma's kryptonite or a curse or something.
Maybe she's a Warlock.
Supergran’s weakness: Encryptonite
unrelated: i was the 69th like ;)
Is this a miracle? A comment not about burritos?
This thing about bashing on other generations is really tiresome. Last thing we need right now is another means of dividing us, particularly from our own family members, as we all have close relatives & family friends across multiple generations.
Legends say that Gordon Ramsey has disregarded his quest for lamb sauce to find the burrito customer to be his next predecessor.... (with his son)
Was this channel started by slazo, I remeber slazo talking about reddit videos and all that and I've found some private videos in this channel I figured since you still dont have a comment, you'd get this as a notifications. Please help I cant remeber and I cant sleep because of it
@@marcos772 - Yes it was started by slazo but it is now owned by Damien.
Yeah Slazo got in trouble because his gf basically tried to ruin his life through lies, and Damian took over the channel during that period. I dunno how things worked out between the two after Slazo defended himself. I don't think they're on bad terms with each other though.
His next... Predecessor? Are you sure about that?
The word you're looking for is "successor".
The baby boomer tech thing is so relatable because I have two parents who are like “how do you turn this thing on” and I’m like PRESS THE BUTTON THAT SAYS POWER GREG. Are you that blind
my Abuelita: mía, mi telephono es in Hebrew
me: ok one sec, Papi! Abuela changed her phone language again!
my dad: how the fuck! does she do that?!?!? I don't even know how to do that!
*after my dad comes home after going to my Abuelita's house*
me: what's wrong?
my dad: her phone.was in English.she mistook it. for Hebrew.
@@whos.ronnie88 How the fuck do you mistake english for hebrew
jeez.. pretty harsh
@@zekedia2223 I too have the same question.
@@fishyc43sar same here
As someone with high-functioning autism AND two anxiety disorders, I can guarantee that I would start a riot if people started paying people with disabilities less than minimum wage.
10:38
_"I'm okay with small mistakes, if you've got no more chicken I'll take pork...but I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork~"_
Yeah, it reminded me of that ^^
Great part
First reference to Bo I've seen in a long time
Words to live by
Oh I've searched for this lol
BO!
Wow, they are VERY passionate about burritos
Edit: geeze guys, chill
I love it
It's pretty sad.
@@joshuaellery6167 If you were half as motivational as that post you would start contributing to society in a meaningful way rather than reviewing body pillows, you fucking peice of shit. Wait no, a peice of shit is more helpful than your fucking ass because at least then we could make some goddamn fertilizer in order to feed your 150 kg ass.
@@Randus1058 who pissed in your cereal?
@@punchingbag277 You'd have to be blind to not see the @joshua ellery literally right at the start of the sentence
7:52
This burrito maker was strangled, chopped into disgusting little bits, and then his bits were burned to ashes, squished into goo, and destroyed at atomic level.
the burrito maker’s remains were placed into the burrito in a zone-like fashion like the rest of the burrito
@@lankyboi2521 then fed to Donald Trump to later shit it out
At an atomic level*
Unless...they chopped him up and put him in a burrito...
Then those atoms were separated into quarks and placed in the core of different stars across the galaxy XD
The one about the burrito had me crying! That dude wins the internet. And the way Damien read that rant was just beautiful!
I was crying as well from how hard I was laughing
We can't turn back now, this is lettuce country
I’m still trapped in the cilantro cavern. Send help. And another ingredient.
@@OrangeZ1987 i'm all the way up in the cheesosphere, how do i get down?
reeves stephens Hold on let me get my map... _Yer fu**ed_
@@OrangeZ1987 ah sh*t
I'm at a vacation in the empire of sour cream it's very lovely there
Todoroki: *_"are you Slazo's secret love child?"_*
askskskSKSKSKKS
Why are we still here Ahhhhhh
Lol
Remember me when this blows up
@@taltelina1123 it won't blow up ;')
I read the comments about how intense the burrito was and thought it couldn’t have been that bad
I was wrong
oh how wrong you were
So wrong 😂
that sounded like a good burrito tho... i will eat all my burritos this way from now on
@@journeywaitz5826 this is an avengers level threat
@@journeywaitz5826 what the fuck is wrong with you
After the whole burrito thing I had to walk away from my phone to breathe because I was laughing so hard whoever made that post God bless you
10:56
O_O
This man really needed a burrito and being denied this...Thanos could not match the wrath that hailed onto that computer screen
LMFAOOO, that man was not playin about his burrito. 💀
"Its called Florida"
Me, a Floridian: on First hand experience, correct.
As someone whose lived in Florida but got the hell out as soon as I could, I can confirm this persons statement
People are trying to cut Florida off the map so the scooter steelin karen alligator fighters just the oceans problem
Lynyrd Skynyrd
@Comment Police Unit 12 Grade A you can't tell someone they aren't from a certain place because they don't agree with you. That's idiotic.
@Comment Police Unit 12 Grade A *HOLD ZE FUCC UP BOOMER HE SHOULD KNOW WHAT ZIS STATE IS LIKE HE ONCE LIVED THERE YOU OLD SACK OF SHIT*
The burrito guy was so genuinely upset about that fuckin burrito...
Imagine because so mad about how someone makes a burrito that you spend one hour making a rant about it... it’s a fricking burrito
@@Milkcake00 deadass
Jesus was a carpenter. He'd love a nail gun. So who's the insensitive one now?
My dumb@ss: *Hey, YEAH!*
Nailed it
Jesus
3 minutes
About a burrito...
*Bless This Man*
Modrá Čepel do yourself a favor and watch bo burnham - can't handle this
*sees the burrito one*
Me: ... I think I busted a gut from laughter about halfway in.
*sees the update*
ah schist, here we go again
incorrect use of format
Same here; I started violently coughing due to my laughing.
The burrito one got me. God i love Tumblr
I laughed so hard at the burrito guy that I nearly passed out, it's too relatable the more they explain the more atrocious it sounds. I would react the same way if I got that, that burrito is like the layers of hell. Also use a fork?? Whoever suggested that is just as sadistic as the person who created that monstrosity. The best part is that you can clearly see the decline in their sanity as the rant goes on, it starts out level headed and proper but gradually falls into them further loosing it with each passage.
If someone gave me a fork with a burrito they would never see the light of day ever again.
But Jesus was a carpenter. He would definitely love a nail gun
wait nvm, no one will ever see this comment for i have failed when writing it
@@lred1383 Think again, LRed13!
Well, I was about to say that until I realize there's another use of that nail gun.
That guy just wrote a 2000 word essay on burritos,bruh.
Edit:wow,never mind there’s more
7:51
man. i love this person so much. the way they went through great lengths to tell a random person on the internet how fucking stupid they are is so amazing and i care for them.
ive genuinely watched this part like 3 times and never got tired of it
That man must like his burritos
Ya think?
maybe he just hates BAD burritos
Burritos are awesome! I'd be pissed too.
Gopteens: what would Jesus favorite gun be?
Some person on Twitter: a nail gun
Gopteens: blocked
Me: that would probably be true.....they do realize Jesus was a carpenter, right? right?
He also would've been crucified with one too 🤔
Evidence now suggests that at the time a carpenter wouldn't be the ideal job and he would have most likely been a stonecutter
GOP teens is as cringe as possible
They said “You aren’t #funny considered yourself #blocked”
These idiots made hashtags fucking hashtags just to seem cool
@@orestisgeorgatos6725 While their reply was fucking dumb, the guy/gal shouldn't have made fun of their faith, that's kinda rude
@@siddharthbutala6781 You do realize that we made St. Lawrence, who was tided to a metal grate and roasted over a fire, the patron saint of barbecues? And that St. Lucy is the patron saint of optometrists because she lost her eyes? The Catholic Church has somewhat dark sense of humor.
As a Roman Catholic that guy was actually pretty funny. It was what he was replying to I found offensive.
Can we talk about this guy's spot on donald trump accent?
spleefman360 Seriously it was perfect haha
No... Not at all actually.
It was great.
As a Trump supporter I can safely say that was fucking hilarious
_accent_
The burrito one is THREE MINUTES long 7:50 to 11:17 are the start and end timestamps
Burrito rant guy is Gordan Ramsey's stand.
Also a better joke would be:
That was like a looped
7 page muda put into words.
@@shimplsfn lmao
@@shimplsfn MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA
@@nadiairfan3532 no normie
NO! DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH! IT'S 2 AM!
I related to burrito guy on...almost a spiritual level.
i related to the burrito guy on.... a telapathic level
11:17 imagine dedicating your whole life to vent about a burrito
Lil Poods He’s actually a very successful guy, he created card games including Superfight and a lot of other cool stuff, he streams on twitch, (his name is Jack Dire). He also has an Instagram page (Jack Dire) and made and runs the Fake Ads Official Instagram page. I use to run his Discord server. Check him out.
Imagine NOT
If only I could be that legendary
XD I can't anymore, that burrito rant had me in tears and struggling to breath. Took me a while to stop laughing, I just start all over again after thinking I've calmed down.
“wOrsT PrEsiDEntial harASSmEnt EvER”
Abe Lincoln, James A. Garfield, William McKinley, Theodore Roosevelt, JFK, and Ronald Reagan: “am I an f-ing joke to you?”
Probably.
Well, assassination, by definition isn't harrassment. Idk what the other guys experienced though. Could someone tell me?
@@commander8625 I'd feel pretty harassed if I was assassinated
Yeah Abe Lincoln was literally shot for ending slavery
@Antonio Trivelloni oh ok
THE WORST PRESIDENTIAL HARASSMENT Uh... Lincoln was shot.
Not harassment, just assassination.
@@TheRealTrimBrady Harassassassinationment
Jfk
Krystal Idiots assassination.
losif Stalin you go back to the Gulag. Your people need you.
"In this you and I agree and are friends"
I REALLY need to start using that one
To the man who wrote that burrito thing, you're a fucking legend, the fact that you have the patience and passion to write that earned you my fucking respect, and all the zones and land joke stuff was hilarious, I couldn't breathe, you are a genius and God, thank you
5:38 That's because pregnant teens were expelled from their schools, they had other schools just for pregnant teens, because they were not seen fit for the public eye
"you forgot to do your Spanish lesson" murdered by words
Oh shit thanks for reminding me.
Don't want to start another Duolingo vs Shaggy war.
*Murdered by birds
@@windowserrornoise8070 boy did that escalate quickly
@@windowserrornoise8070 well at least we learned something... *never forget your spanish lessons*
EmKay: "As a Florida resident..."
Also EmKay: "the finest Reddit readings south of the equator"
what
Lol Florida might as well be. State has year round humidity that just kills my mood
Stupid Bitch Florida is actually a piece of Australia that got lost then attached itself to the U.S.
He reads from AU. Never said anything bout the stuff he reads
Two different people
@@CommanderWiggins how did you learn our secret.
The burrito one belonged in a whole different plane of existence. Murdered by words? More like Abducted, Stabbed, Crushed, Boiled, Decapitated, and Burned by words.
Like 1/3 of the video is a complaint about a burrito
1/4
that's what made the whole video 2/3
AND ITS FUCKING AWESOME!
More like a rant or tirade.
I did the math and it's a little more than 27% of the video.
That burrito guy cares more about some type of food then Trump does about America.
@@Napoleon_based too bad i don't live in the US. And when someone says that if you test less people, you would have less cases, yeah idk I wouldn't vote for him (not that Biden is better)
@@Napoleon_based yes support someone who talks about his daughter sexually
@@Napoleon_based no no no nono onoo they both SUCK bidens a creep and trump is a weirdo i hate both of them EQUALLY
@@Napoleon_based he says talking about the country that costs 1200 dollars for literally any medical treatment
Lucky you...
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. they're called hands
Can we all just appreciate the quality of the Trump impression
YES! YES! THE BURRITO POST! the best r/Murderedbywords post in existence.
That wasn’t murder, that was nuked by words
Fucking _destroyed_
He ripped the creator of that burrito 15 new ones
Wasn't Jesus a carpenter? So wouldn't a nail gun truly be his favorite
NoTalkpleaseOk the irony is ... *_palpable._*
He was nailed to a cross.
@@Yukkuri_Yakumo i'm aware
@@Yukkuri_Yakumo you just nailed that joke
@@grugg3108 That's why
My god, that burrito post made me laugh nonstop... i was at work... at a hotel...
At least you don't work at a morgue or a funeral home.
@@EchthelionII At least dead men tell no tales :P
@@AkromaBlade Good point
@@EchthelionII Haha, that reminds me of that time when i was working in a mourgue and i accidentally opened pictures of children and i got so hard right next to the corpses and it was awkard as hell
DatPisidukM :v Wait a minute
Ohhh god I need that burrito rant as a copypasta PLEASE
The burrito part sounds like my school with taco salad, they put 90% of lettuce in the salad at the other 10% is a mixture of cheese, salsa, ground beef, and chips
That doesn't sound the same at all
I have never once eaten a burrito in my entire life but I agree with that guy so badly
Also who where the weirdos who suggested that op use the fork????
Update: 2021 oct 26
just had one it’s great
Pretty much tumblr in a nutshell
It's PERFECTLY excusable to use a fork to eat a burrito
I mean the Smothered Burrito at Taco Bell is still a thing
Right?
izzy ravin I KNOW RIGHT!? EATING A BURRITO WITH A F O R K ! ? WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE
Alright just use your pointer, middle, and ring fingers, stab the burrito, then eat it that way.
That way, it is a fork while eating with your hands!
You are a sad sad sad person, I feel horrible for you, Burritos are the beautiful nectar of the gods
My rating of this subreddit:
7/10 Too much politics.
Why I unsubbed from the subreddit.
And some of them aren't even "murders" too-
@@thomasedison3700 Exactly
Yes and very one sided. I'm not a conservative but whenever something is really biased toward one side or another it really aggravates me
@@JinjeoEil i agree
They try to make Democrats seem smart, but Trump is the real killer
I feel so happy that someone said something to the person who was saying people with learning disabilities be allowed to work for less than minimum wage I’m so glad