I think why toxic people have more friends is that they provide entertainment. Most people don't give a damn whether you're nice or what, they want drama and chaos to fill themselves up. Toxic people appear confident and very in tune with their self-expression, and to the majority of people, they seem fun. This is the era of instant gratification where most people have short attention spans; people want instant connection, it's either you vibe or not. Most "nice" people I know of take time to warm up, and who has time for that?
yeah, people love gossiping and once you start it's hard to stop, the real horror begins when you actually do try to stop and realize how many of your relationships are based on just gossiping together
My school's culture to "be cool" absolutely requires partying, drinking, and drama. I don't even like these kids but I always wanted to be invited to parties, etc. It's nice to see another young person that doesn't say that's the life that all young people *need* to experience
Dont envy them most of the time kids that went there just waste time , if you really2 want try to make effort to suck up ,gnawed a bit to your pride and try to friend the cool kids till you get invited. Not worth it tho, but if you never try you'll always obsess. I prefer reading and listening music or doing personal project holed whole weeks in my room tho , back then social media wasn't even a thing 😂
In the 80s & 90s, it was "bully or be bullied." If you didn't want to be uncool or bullied, you had to join the monkeys in their shit-slinging escapades.
Agree, same here. I was homeschooled so it's incredibly hard to find friends of any sort, especially ones that share my long term gratification mindset. Looking for people in good physical shape is a good sign though, most anyone who's serious about self improvement will be atleast in decent shape. And for the guys, just because a girl has a big ol booty doesn't mean she's put work in for it, there's a different between the genetic lottery of fat deposits and actually hitting the gym to build *muscle* , you're looking for people who put work in.
As a middle aged woman I can say that these dynamics don't really change as you get older. There are always those "toxic" people who are the center of attention who talk crap and treat people poorly.... and "kind" people end up pushed out/not invited/isolated. I would rather be a loner and be true to myself than to engage in these bizarre, negative and fake dynamics and 'friendships'. And good for you for having already figured this out...took me quite longer to accept these things. I struggled like hell with this and still get frustrated with the absurdities of social dynamics. But when you find the other genuine, kind and wonderful people out there...things fall into place.....and you can appreciate life and friends with people who appreciate you.
Sadly, this is me and my ex-friend You just described him in your comment. He acts like he’s the center of attention, who talks crap about others and treats them (and myself) poorly. But me? I’m a kind, empathetic individual that always tries to please everyone. Yet I get ignored and not invited. I felt like I didn’t fit in, or they didn’t want me around. As a people pleaser, I attract fake friends, narcissistic, self-absorbed, bullies. In general, I attract toxic people like a magnet. It took me a long time to realize they weren’t my friends, but rather they were just using me and didn’t actually care about me or even bother to have me around. The truth hurt, and it left me feeling hurt and betrayed. I thought it was my fault, and I was wondering what I have done wrong. Honestly, I’d rather have no friends than have fake people in my life. I recently cut off from my ex-friend, along with the people associated with him. I blocked him and I friended him on every platform. I’m healing now, and I feel much happier! ❤
This is something I started to ask myself when I got spelled from my group of friends. A girl was bullying me constantly, and all of them witnessed it. And what did they do? Cast me out. They never told anything to that girl, and they still hangout with her and even say things like she's a really good and kindhearted person. And here I am, alone. Luckily, I've met a new friend recently and she seems actually nice.
I hope you're feeling better and I hope the friend you now have is the one for you. You remind me of a girl whom I used to be with, let's say. We don't talk anymore, unfortunately, but her friends left her and were all not the kindest to her. Thankfully though, she found a new friend, although it was only one lass she friended, it definitely did help a lot. I'm not sure what has happened to her now but I can tell she's definitely in a much more better situation now than she was 5 months ago.
But to sum it up, I hope you're doing well because it does hurt. I've never experienced it - and I hope I never get to, and that no-one else will either - but I did know someone who went through something similar, mentioned above, and it did hurt her a lot. But I was there for her and she got a new friend and she got feeling a whole lot better. But like I said, I'm not sure what's happening as of now but I know that when we broke ties, she was in a good place and situation, I hope so. I don't know if I'll ever be able to contact her ever again, but we shall see.
The reason that they did that is because they’re weak;they were afraid of being bullied themselves so sided with the bully.Losing those friends was a blessing in disguise I have been in the exact same situation and am glad it happened or else I would of became one of them.
These kids of bullies will lie to the rest of the friends about you behind your back. They will tell these other people that you are talking badly about them behind their backs and tell them to not tell you about it. Also these types of people who believe the lies also secretly have it out for you also and the bully cements the smear. It's best to stay away from such people.
That happened to me with an ex, she was awful to me, but her friends stood by and didn't call her out even when they knew she was in the wrong. It was only when I walked away they did something about it because she started taking her issues out on them.
this was actually really comforting. i totally didnt realize that when some people go out, it's not fun: they're on their phones, they all secretly hate each other (common in huge friend groups), or their friendships are shallow and based on gossip/bullying. i had this illusion that everyone just has genuine, quality friendships but you made me realize its not true. i dont have a lot of friends but the few that i have around me shine like gold. the things you said were super cathartic and i actually feel calm now, thanks a lot man.
this is so real dude. the people with the most friends at my school are the most toxic. while i try stay kind and humble, people call me cringe and a “nice guy” for it. (nice guy in a sarcastic way) im sick of it.
@@reecedanielss of course dude, i know deep down that they just look for reasons to complain because it entertains them! i try to ignore it, it gets to me sometimes by thats only natural :)
@@skadoosh6000yeah its hard bro being alone but in this age it’s honestly better,with time you’ll meet some people that actually arent bad,they will help support you and you to them too,but rn just focus ln your goals and developing yourself
fr like i don’t know why its considered “cringe” to be kind to people and actually treat them like a decent human being. most of the kids at my school get a lot of attention simply for just trash talking people and making them feel like they’re not worthy because they have different interests or hobbies from others. all because of popularity. people nowadays would rather join the crowd and make you feel stupid than actually stand up for you and be a friend. it makes me sick.
As a loner and someone who often gets the fear of missing out (FOMO) feeling, I can completely relate to this video. Thank you for shedding light on how every loner should be extremely grateful.
Is the fomo thing same as feeling lonely-? Cuz my friend did described this fomo feeling to me. While I actually don't really feel missing out anywhere, I feel like I just get jealous when half of my friends are out there having fun with their boyfriends while I'm here sitting in my room, studying. I even cried about it. It's not that I don't get invited to parties or social events, just that Ik I'm not really the party animal/club person. Basically, I find socializing a bit hard so I tend to avoid social events, in turn my "friends" finding me boring & ultimately going out on their own without even bothering to ask me
@@devashrijoshi9079 It correlates but at the same time if you’re naturally just not a people person there is no reason to be upset about it. When you learn to enjoy your own company man anything is possible & 9/10 your friends relationships with their boyfriends may seem fun and loving but trust me behind closed doors it’s not the same so save your peace and just be open to new things while you’re at it.
I will never understand why people like to gossip and talk shit. I rather be alone than have to listen to someone run their mouth and talk bad about someone who I don't even know well
I was a socially awkward kid that didn't have many friends in high school. When I went to college, I joined a fraternity. I thought it was going to be so great because I'd finally be one of the popular kids and go to parties all the time. What I found out was it was miserable. Parties were just a race to get drunk with music playing so loud you couldn't hold a conversation and people just trying to get laid. All the conversations with the guys had to be about sex and who was doing who and who had the highest body count. Just shallow stuff that I wasn't interested in. I get that's all some people want, but it was a nightmare for me. I tried so many times to get into the party lifestyle, but it just wasn't for me. Within the first hour I'd be ready to go home. I ended up quitting the fraternity, and I realized none of the relationships I made there mattered. The few friends I had in high school had way more of an impact in my life than the 50+ "friends" I had in this fraternity that I haven't heard from since I left. Do what makes you happy, and screw what everyone else thinks. You won't find happiness chasing the popularity dream if you have to be a fake version of yourself all the time.
Being legitimately anti-social (having pretty bad social anxiety) when I was in school taught me to value the few friends I did have (even if they never lasted), it taught me that I was ok not being the loudest and most outgoing. If anyone wanted to talk to me, I was and still am a great listener! People like having the freedom to vent and talk for hours if you’re willing to listen.
That's nice of you, however I experienced the same and I don't like to be the surrounding people's emotional trashbag they can just complain to all day but as soon as I would need them they don't care, or they otherwise ignore me anyway.
tbh im the type of person who talks ALOT like 24/7 and most of my friends also are talkative, i have one friend who listens most of the time and shes really great, but i always make sure to ask her if shes okay with me talking so much. and if shes annoyed she can tell me to stop. i hate making ppl uncomfortable so i always try to make them feel comfortable ;v; just so u know make sure to voice ur opinion and tell your friends if you are annoyed or upset etc. etc. your feelings are valid -v-. have a nice day and i hope you get many good friends
@@canyongoat2096People come to me to vent, but they do it because I convince them to. I don't feel used, they consistently ask me about my mental health and I find helping people extremely rewarding.
@@devashrijoshi9079 Same here. I’ve been a venting machine for some people throughout my life and it’s draining. Recently I had to cut someone off because he started using me as a stand-in therapist.
I’ve been struggling a bit with losing a friend group who just gossiped 24/7 and the moment I talked to someone they didn’t like I’m now on the outs. This really helped me make peace with the situation, thank you.
Hey, we don't know each other but just know some random guy out there is proud of you! Prolly sounds very weird I'm sorry lol. You did the right thing and you're gonna be way better in the future. Toxicity is contagious, it becomes normal and at some point you're gonna be riddled by it and it just makes you miserable and depressed. You're gonna find nice peeps out there even though it seems like they aren't there sometimes.
Been there, got out. Enjoy the solitude, really makes you realize picking friends you have to be picky. Everyone wants a best friend, not many are willing to be that.
Hey there I'm currently in a similar situation. I disagreed with a person in my friend group over something stupid, and their behavior during the disagreement made me feel the need to distance myself from that person. The friendgroup chose to follow that person. I wish you good luck in finding the right people, and hope there is some luck left for myself too.
I think one of the biggest reasons why I like your videos is how you really take what you're saying to your heart, you don't even play music in the background and just have the natural sounds there, it really gives off the feeling of truthfulness and I can just feel you putting your feelings and thoughts into words.
Growing up having a toxic childhood friend was definitely not easy. Whenever we were in a group setting they would become a comedian but at the expense of making fun of others. And like you said, whenever we hung out they would always be on their phone, so it’s funny to say we’ve known each other our whole lives but never really connected over anything important. Over the past two years we’ve grown more distant. It’s been hard seeing them on social media posting themselves out looking like they’re having the time of their life. Especially after I’ve made an effort to be honest and deepen our friendship. But I’m starting to realize that that’s not the kind of relationship I want, or would feel happy to have. Thank you for posting, and keep up the good work! You’re changing lives😊
I am familiar with this phenomenon firsthand. When I was toxic myself, I had a lot of people around me who considered me a good friend, no matter what spiteful things I say about them and the people around me. But as soon as I realized my behavior (the negative feedback from people around me prompted these thoughts, when I really went too far sometimes) and what led to it, and embark on the path of correction - they all threw me, and even more - stood up against me. It`s... really something strange.
You know that is a very brave thing to admit urself as toxic..whoever you were toxic if they learn that u realised ur mistakes they will feel better...The change u brought in to urself deserves some praise..
A very different type of comment from the one above, but as someone who suffered from people like you, I want you to feel ashamed because no level of guilt or whatever you felt, probably doesn't add up to the pain you caused.
@@tayar3797 You have a full right to think like this. But don't forgot that people who toxic, often got some shit in their past, so they cope with that like that. Anyway, i am sorry for you struggle, my friend.
Oh i've struggled mate and I have gone through shit for years on end, toxic relationships, abusive father, dead mom, endless racism, its just how we cope, anyways we are all just reflections of our experiences at the end of the day, so its best for you and especially me to move on
when high school ended, i thought the people i saw everyday would keep in touch. but i only actively talk to 2 people i went to school with. definitely hit hard at first, but slowly realized that *these* people are and were my friends, not the people i had conversations with at lunch and in class. really made me understand the actual meaning of the word "friend".
I actually learned this before even finishing high school. I'm in my senior year and have realized that people come and go. It's just a natural way of living. The kicker is the fact that EVERY year, seniors graduate, grow up, and move on. There was a girl who was a senior last school year and she had blocked me on Insta. At first I thought if I had did something wrong before I quickly finished the puzzle that she and I didn't really vibe. Most convos between us were superficial and we knew it. So when she blocked me, I felt better.
Yeah, here in England there’s like 2 high schools. One from 11-16, and one from 16-18. I just left the first stage, and tbh I was always friends with everyone. But it’s been 3 months since I graduated, and I only talk to around 4-5
I recently cut off a 10+ year friendship because my former best friend defended my abusers of 5+ years that I am now going to therapy for. I really needed this today because I currently don’t have any friends anymore and am mostly alone. Dealing with my mental health has been really hard this year and it feels like I’m always met with backstabbers as “friends”. I’m just hoping I can build better relationships for my future self. Thanks for this video, it was really encouraging and made me feel less lonely!
I hope you are doing Better now I went through a similar situation so it was kinda hard for me but in the end it all worked out in case you need some tips
Sooo true. I've got an extremely small circle of online friends but I'm always sad about them all being so far away and having absolutely 0 locally. I've tried many things but unfortunately I've found most people just aren't looking for anything else but temporary validation. They want to feel like they're wanted but don't want to actually put in the effort to make meaningful connections. I mean you won't believe how many times I've met people I got along amazing with (or know that I would) but they sabotage themselves out of talking with me. I say it's validation but not gonna lie I think a lot of it is also just mental illness and drugs. Too many broken people who can't see worth in anything even if it's directly in front of them.. Besides that though I also see the kinds of friends I wanna make on social media but I can't usually ever seem to find those types in my area. But if anything sometimes that's also an illusion because posers still exist too. Unfortunately I guess there's never really an easy answer to all this sadly because it's quite complicated.
@@Artsu1993 I’m 27 next month. And yeah definitely. To make matters worse, during this past year I’ve been in an LDR with someone half way across the world. I’m half Filipino/White and ironically I’m a lot more popular in the Philippines vs America. Finding friends or a girlfriend there is not really how I pictured my life to be, and of course I still have many doubts about it even working at all. Considering I also lost my first real love maybe about two to three years ago now. We were together for around 3-4 years (also an LDR but it was at least just a few states away). Unfortunately she became a lot more mentally unstable and changed. She ended up cheating and taking about 5,000 USD from me. I was manipulated into doing so and I was stupid to believe that helping her would help prevent her from wanting to kill herself, and that it would help bring us back together for when she is mentally healthier again. In the end however I got ghosted for several months, and I found out she had another man again while she claimed to be working on things with me previously. The worst part is I still find myself comparing everyone to her and the connection we had, but that connection is long gone however because my greatest love burnt every bridge. I’m just damaged and perhaps my judgement is clouded. Either that or I just haven’t really found the right people I’m not so sure. So yeah suffice to say things have been quite rough and confusing for me for a long time now. My last real in person friend was only just shortly after high school. Friends for 2 years but he ditched me for other friends and to join the military. That was when I was about 19. So 8 years since I’ve had any local in person friendships. People have invited me to things and I’ve texted them but they don’t put any effort beyond that. Sucks but that’s my life I guess here in NA. If anything I also feel discriminated against, because as an Asian I don’t have your typical masculine features or rebelliousness (smoking, parties, alcohol). Statistics point to Asians not being as openly accepted here. Thankfully it’s gotten better with the rise in K-Pop and K-Dramas, but of course there’s still a lot of work to do just in trying to change public perception.
I'm 14, and I've never felt much inclination to get into social media and all that other teenage crap. My unwillingness has kind of led to me being an outcast around the majority of my peers, but honestly, looking at stuff like this reassures me that I made the right decision. Because as much as everyone calls on me for being weird, I have a small group of real, true friends like me who don't gossip, are easy to talk to, and are genuinely fun and kind. We're all very supportive to each other, and we always have things to talk about, and weird things to obsess over (whether it be cars with eyelashes, public transit buses, or fantasy book plot twists.) I'm not saying everyone else in this universe is a toxic popular kid (the comments of this video resolutely prove that), but there are a decent amount of people who are, and it really concerns me. Their habits of "phone phone phone gossip gossip gossip party party party" are not healthy (as this video said), and I worry for their mental health. I hope kids like this can find a way to break out of this cycle, and discover different ways to have fun other than gossiping and whatever else they do for entertainment.
I was and still is like this, I’m in my 40’s and still weird 😁, find your strength, it’s most important to find your meaning for your life and in order to make a difference, you have to be different.
well said. Being away from the rowd do what you feel is right. When I was 14 I was the same. Girls were getting preggers at that age too. I avoided bad types and yes, you are seen as weird. You do what you feel is right and mi with quality people or even done if there are none. Find hobbies that interest you, as we get older friends and ome and go but there are always hobbies
I'm 14 too and go through similar problems. Even my "friend group" is filled with people I don't really consider that close, and don't trust at all. I have a few good, true friends, and they make me genuinely happy
As an older person who has been on both sides of this situation I can assure you everything said here is correct. The craziest part to me here is that not drinking and smoking has become counter culture, being a healthy smart individual is counter to society today. That is the scary part because although when I was in high school back in the early 2010s, there was a lot of partying going on and hookup culture and all that it was not actually the norm. Probably at most 30% of people I knew were into that kind of lifestyle and the rest looked down on them for being so crazy. Today it's the opposite.
I’m 28 if that counts as ‘older’ and when I graduated in 2013 I can say my high school was mostly into partying and hookup culture and the more straight-laced types were frowned upon
As I've grown older, I've understood that just because someone else says you should be having fun doing something they want to do does not mean you should. I was under the impression there was something wrong with me if I didn't want to do something with toxic people. I'm still working on myself, but the FOMO goes away when you don't have to see or deal with those toxic people anymore. It's liberating when you can understand your own path, and it feels good to know you don't need to be doing what other people are doing to find happiness. Do what you're comfortable with. You are allowed to have fun and enjoy life in different ways, and don't let certain people make you think you need to be with them to feel good or succeed. You shouldn't have to drink poison just because you're thirsty.
This vid honestly makes me feel a lot better about not hanging out with one of my old friends anymore because his hobbies and new friend group just don't align with mine. I'm finding myself to be much happier just chatting about random and funny things rather than gossiping about others or having strange conversations about politics.
I kinda went through a glowup mentally, and am so much happier than I was, and it kinda made me realize how valuable friends are. Like having genuine friends you can just be with and do dumb shit, play some games with after classes / work and trust / share an emotional connection with are the most important relationships, at least for me. I thought I was introverted but then kinda realized how a lot of that came from not feeling comfortable with myself around other people. IDk appreciating the people around me and trying to make meaningful connections makes life so much more fun :3 It does help that all my college classes are full of goofy game dev nerds, but starting something like DMing for dnd with some of my close friends has been such a pillar of happiness :))
This video is unbelievably down-to-earth. I wish only the best for you and your channel so that more people may hear this message. Thank you for doing what you do
I had a short phase when I was actively trying to get into the "popular kids" group, I went to some of their parties / hangouts and they were SO FRICKING LAME AND BORING I was like tf this looks nothing like the illusion I had in mind of them
I am 16. I’m very socially awkward, have autism, and I am a talented and kind guy, but I only have 3 real friends that I relate with because I’m socially awkward, and have felt ashamed for a long time. I love that Reece is able to identify why certain people like me who have drive are actually not very good with socializing with others, I wish I was friends with Reece!
@Nik-6675 I feel sorrow to hear that happen to you. It’s sad when people you’re friends with have to move. I’m in the exact same position, all my friends Brady, Alex, Ian and Ethan (graduate this year), and my best friends in my grade Xander, Brandon, and Virag (all in my grade) are moving out of state. Also my one friend going into 9th Grade Vince I can’t see much. I don’t get to talk to many of them anymore because of different life schedules or they don’t or even can’t use their phone to reach out a lot. The only close friends I have now are Martin Ma and Brandon who are in my grade and still live in state, and my friend going into 10th named Connor is moving to my school this year. Good luck with making new friends btw!
Don't worry about it matey, a lot of people have 3 friends less than you. Not to discredit how you feel about it at all but just know having 3 close friends is amazing. How are you gonna have time for yourself and other things if you had 20 ish "friends"? :p I can count my friends on one hand too and I learned a few years ago that it is way better than having many friends. If you're someone with so many friends, a big portion of them probably aren't actual, real friends. Some people throw this word around like it means nothing, a friend is not someone you randomly meet every once in a while and have a little chat with because you live in the same town.
@@brennanlettucetomato Its not that they moved it's because for instance with the first one we always hung out at my old apartment building because his grandfather lived there and he came to visit him that's how we met back in like 2014 I think maybe sooner but my earliest memory is from 2014 but then I moved away and we didn't have contact with one another for a bit so in 2020 I think it was I searched for him on I think Facebook despite the fact that I don't really use it to re-establish contact and it worked so now we talk on discord often we also play video games together but much less than we used to because I'm losing interest in games but he very recently just like a week ago started coming to my town because we live in the same municipality (just to clarify he didn't recently move he's livced there since he was like 11 and even then he was in the neighboring town) and that's pretty much it he's probably the best friend I have and then you have my other friend who also lives in the same municipality but not in the same town just like Rok the thing with him is that we only really hung out in school but just now we've completed it and the only time we saw each other since was going to the cinema to watch something recently we always go watch either movies that are horrible or extremely childish we would watch barbie but I'm very busy at the moment so that's pretty much that I could go on about my other friends but they're not really friend because I don't speak/text to them daily but this is getting really long and its like 5am and I just woke up from a nightmare my english is probably pretty bad right now.
@@yuktaagrawal9890 In order for it to work there has to be rules. Hear me out. There only needs to be rules because the friendship would be started from nothing, whereas those who grew up friends or an environment that forced them to be together wouldn’t need them. But I think the mistake many of us make is that we think we can just be friends out of the blue and have it be “anything goes” and it expect it to magically last. On the flip side of things, a person hears “rules” and runs, thinking that a friendship don’t need rules. It does, at first at least. There needs to be something to be pointed back to and referenced to keep the glue of the friendship together so that it if one falls out of line or begins to ghost, the rules can be referenced and used as an excuse to say what the heck & try with them. But if there are no rules and a person begins to wander off not talking, then with what strength or with what authority can the other try to keep it together besides from their own whim? And there need not be any major consequences for breach but at least once the rules are breached, it is more clear cut what is happening and what needs to be fixed. Also, by establishing some rules in the beginning and both parties agreeing to it, there will at least be a consequence of the conscience for the breaker of it while the one keeping their part can be acquitted unto themselves mentally. But by at least having this, both have steak in the friendship. You might think these things have no bearing, but they do, and they add up. And the friendship can be set for periods at a time like 1 month for example, and then from there can be decided upon whether to renew or not. That way, there are no hard feelings if the friendship ends and it can end mutually and peacefully rather than one side always being hurt. Plus, the short period increments helps with being more readily open to accept a friendship since it won’t mean investing one’s whole life into it which is why I think many are so “choosy” in deciding upon friendships or not. But at least with this, it’d be easier to accept.
I would way rather be alone than having one sided friendships. I hate being around people who don’t enjoy my company and expect me to be someone that I am clearly NOT. I mean it just wears me out! Changing just to suit others at my own expense just wears me out.
i cannot express how much you helped me with just this video, i have finally realized that the things i thought i missed out on i actually dont like and that those things arent a vibe for me. Thank You so much Reece, you earned a new sub.
I agree with you and I got so much stronger in these last few months. I cut off contact to all of my toxic friends. You said to focus on building the friendship with good people and real friends. My problem is that i don't really think I have a real friend. I think it's better to be alone than with people who are draining your energy, right? It's kinda lonely sometimes but i still love my life and I am working on becoming the best version of myself. Thank you for being you:)
I’m completely alone as well! I have my mom, but that’s different than having friends your age whom you can personally relate with. I currently have “friends”, but they hardly invite me out and I constantly hear about them hanging out with each other, yet I was never invited🙄. It does piss me off. I’ve left so many friendships, but I somehow keep running into toxic friendships. I just hope I find some genuine friends sometime soon😩😩
I needed this video. Because I had a lot of toxic friendships in recent months and I really regret that I did and now and I don't have any friendship with someone ( I feel lonely). After watching this video I just relaxed and got informed about this at least today. Thank you so much. I wish everyone to have good friendships in their lives. :)
Bro ur not alone. I used to hang out with the “cool” girls but bruh. They are toxic and boring as fuck. Always on their phones and talking shit about eachother. They didn’t even want to built yk a deeper relationship with each other. I felt so alone and so anxious all the time only to spend 5 hours with them on our phones doing absolutely nothing and feeling judged all the time(I’m the problem on this one prob bc I’m insecure). But still, I felt so bad, they ignored everyone and it was draining. It’s hard to find real friendships I know but I am young and I lnow that there are people out there that I haven’t met yet that will change my life for the better
I have a good friend we hangout eachother if we have time we run, workout and go to class because he is my classmate he is a true friend of mine he cares to me and I also care to him we also gossip and talk shit about on our classmates cuz thats how our toxic classmates do to make "friends" but that thing doesnt make friends and cause harm to others I told him to stop it because we can make alot of friends but toxic ones and are not your real friends he agreed with me which is a good choice for him, most of the time I just hangout with my trustworthy classmate this is just me telling yall that if tou want a good friend make sure you trust him and he does good to you not does drinking, smoking, party, etc crap
Im sorry if my grammar is wrong or error im not english major and english isnt my first language im just a asian dude that use english sometimes mostly in our English class
I am frankly happy to see that our generation isn't that lost after all. Almost entering my 20ties (03's) and having real ties is pretty hard because I used to (yeah "used to") change myself a lot to be that Girl. This girl hot and so cool, that everybody wants around, invited to all parties... At the end it was depressing, I spaced out a lot cuz I wasn't feeling connected to those persons. I no longer know who I am and isolating a lot. Too tired of fake relationships 😢
Can understand as a fellow 20 year old ('02 liner here). Ig once you start working & interacting with more people, you kinda learn to read people. I mean I can but only from afar. Once they interact with me my naive mind thinks they're all nice when Ik deep down that they just gonna be there till they have some work done from me. You're true it's hard to come across good friendships. Even hard to maintain them. And when i say maintain, I mean from both sides as some of the people I considered friends would go out last moment & cancel on me. I'm still struggling to find out who're my real ones
Yeah .. I am seeing more awareness in your generation. Take it as a millennial - most people were shallow and toxic and this is before social media. Of course, social media spread narcissism but I think your age range is becoming aware of that now (hence this video)!
Now at 30, I actually enjoy being alone most of the time and wish I was much more selective when I was younger. Most of the people I tried to socialize with back then were just a waste of time. Its really about having the right people in your life, not how many or how much time you spend with them.
You are spot on. I hung out loosely with a group of toxic people who would abuse substances just so they could feel something when they went out. Even as they were drinking or dancing in a bar or club, I would see their mask slip. Sometimes they would retreat to the corner of our table and would hunch over their phones because they were completely disengaged. I used to be friends with this one really terrible person and she threw a birthday party at their apartment. She invited a bunch of people she didn't know and got piss drunk. When people started coming in she made a comment to me that was like "ugh let's get away from these people" and retreated to the roof. I'm no longer friends with any of them and have completely cut off contact with them as well. Now I am very selective of the people I invite into my life and have high quality friendships with a few friends.
@@Artsu1993 She invited a bunch of people that either she didn't know well or she didn't like for her birthday party that she didn't end up enjoying because all she did was get drunk and retreat to the roof to get away from the people she invited. She threw a big party but she wasn't having fun. She ended up passed out on a lawn chair on the roof.
@@elcucuy1770 No, she did other things that eventually caused the entire friend group to cut ties with her. They tried confronting her on the harm she caused but she never owned up to what she did.
Reece... I've been so dishearted because I was certain there was no one else who felt this way about our generation. The faux fun, the the lack of connection with others, and most importantly, the absolute, self-involved vanity that is a hubris. It's becoming so much more common now with social media than it was probably twenty years ago. Consequently, I can't tell you how many times I've genuinely tried to reach out amongst my peers, only to be left alone like I don't even matter. Whether at work, school, or somewhere else, it didn't feel like anyone wanted a genuine, healthy friendship/relationship. As sad as it is to be able to, I'm glad I found another person in this world who can relate to that same experience I did. It's heartbreaking... But watching your video has enlightened me that us pure people still exist. Not everyone has caved to the toxicity of hookup culture. I hope that Gen Z wakes up from the endless charade of "me me me." As my dad tells me, "you have two ears and one mouth. Use them proportionately." Thank you for sharing more positive thoughts with us, and please continue being the person you are! Life will reward you for it.
My generation was like that too. I think it is human nature. I am glad there are more interesting things we an do now on offer and some of it is free too
hey dude, tbh i had just recently had a falling out with someone who i thought was my closest friend last week and that’s when i watched your video on social media and quit it. honestly i want to thank you for making that video and for everything. i do still watch youtube videos but usually have them in the background while i work on the stuff i want to do, like working on making a video for my main youtube channel, trying to get better at art, trying to get better at guitar because i want to become an artist and change the world and because of your advice i feel like i can finally fulfill that dream. ty dude, keep doing what you do because i love it. i no longer look at my phone first thing in the morning and rather just journal and meditate then get to my stuff, it feels refreshing and i again want to thank you for that. have a good one.
this dude literally changed my whole perspective on my friendships and my literal perspective on life. you made me realize that half of my friends base their other friendships on gossip and they don't have real bonds. this advice is probably the most useful advice I've heard in a while. thank you so much bro.
Wow, you are so wise and level-headed especially for your age. What you're describing has been my situation for most of my life because I'm more of an introvert. I've always been perplexed as to why not very nice people seem to have more of a social life and had more friends than I, and I consider myself to be a kind person. I want you to know you are helping so many people right now. If I were anywhere near you I'd love to be your friend.
I feel this sense of foreboding loneliness, but in more of a romantic context. I feel FOMO when it comes to relationships, after having been single for over 4 years now after my breakup with my boyfriend. It doesn't help that I also don't engage in hookup culture, so I've also remained untouched for over 4 years. Meanwhile, a toxic "friend" that I have is bragging constantly on her social media about how happy she is being in a relationship with a guy that she happened to steal from another woman, when they were married together 😐. It gets upsetting seeing myself, who I consider to be a good person, remain single and alone meanwhile that "friend" has literally homewrecked a whole marriage and she is happy as ever having a man by her side and not having any loneliness.
But you don't know if she is really happy or not with her life tho. After all ppl only brag good things on social media. Behind that? It could be different
This shit hits so hard. When you’ve slowly lost every single “friendship” you’ve ever had. And you’re looking around slightly confused, slightly hurt but like also trying to build yourself up again. But sometimes it’s hard. Videos like this really puts things into perspective.
@@ihatelife486 well kind of. More so. Like. When ever I try to have conversations they just aren’t interested. They either don’t reply or give a dry response. It’s like a Slow burn ghost. Not immediate. It’s actually kind of traumatizing because you can feel the friendship dying. And part of you wants to fight so hard for it but the other half knows it’s time to let them go. But’s it’s hard. I’m a senior in highschool and I know our Time is up but it didn’t have to be THIS way. But it’s a choice they made so I just gotta deal with it I guess
@@daisydiddle7316don't worry about it. I have been ditched like that too. Just know these people are not worth your worries. It is painful at first, but you need to move on, life will get better from there with time! You will make new acquaintances, make new friends and maybe, just maybe find your romantical partner. Cheer up, it'll be fine!
The reason I feel like a I don’t belong in a group, and why I have more individual friends than friend groups, may be because when people come together in groups, they tend to be a lot more superficial in how they talk and behave. The content of conversations goes away from the true individual thoughts of the person talking, to more of the ‘fun’ filtered thoughts of the person talking in the group setting. So you don’t feel like you’re getting a complete picture of the person’s life, as compared to if you were just talking to them individually. Then again, hanging out with people exclusively individually can lead to more of those deep conversations that make you think too much, so having a balance is necessary
This whole video is so relatable, I’m currently in a change healing from an ex best friend bc of betrayal and I’m trying so hard to just not go back and be this bad toxic and gossiping person I used to be around them, and it’s so difficult. Like you said, gossiping is an addiction and it’s so hard to distance ourselves from gossiping people and stay safe from them bc it’s all around us now. I decided to put higher boundaries and be grateful for my true friends and I’m more picky with who I want around me and I’m honestly so much happier with no drama and real connections in my life. Even with the anxiety that the bad gossiping people I used to be friends with may gossip about me right now I couldn’t care less, their version of happiness and satisfaction will never match up with mine therefore I will be fine bc I would never be jealous of smth like that. I want to encourage everyone to pls stay away from gossipers as much as you can and never tell anything to a person who gossips to you, bc someone who gossips to you will gossip about you too, stay safe :)
bro we are all gratefull for having someone like you to give us advice and to be honest without you i wouldn't have known any of the stuff and advice you give us. thank you bro, you changed my perspective on life.
I had a really sweet friend some time back. She was always really popular and had a lot of people by her side. She loved to party and have a good time but she enjoyed spending time with me doing "boring" things (heart to heart conversations, Reading etc.) because she knew I liked that. We ended up drifting apart after some time but I got to meet her again and hang out with her. later on, At the end of the night she ended up confiding in me about how depressed she has been. She told me that she had a lot of friends who would come have fun with her and party whenever she wanted but she didn't even have one person to talk to about her feelings, Not even one person who she felt truly cared for her wellbeing. She told me how she feels so alone and how I am the first person she is confessing about this to. It broke my heart. I have had a lot of popular friends throughout the years and they have all told me roughly the same things that's why I never felt sad for having a small group of close friends who truly cared for me. Love what you have guys, You don't know how lucky you are to be surrounded by people who love and support you from their heart, Even if they are a few.
Everyone likes to be alone sometimes, so much less drama that way. At the same time no one wants to be alone all the time, as humans we're are social animals where no man is an island. All you need is about 3 close friends who hang with you and build you up and talk to you and are honest when your slacking and not living up to your true self. If you felt the emotions of all these people you think are having so much fun and are doing so much better off than you, you'll find out they're just as, if not more miserable than you are.
as the saying goes "birds of a feather flock together" toxic people can sniff out who is the same as them and who isn't and in both cases they just use other people for their own self-interests, they use other toxic people for connections and they use kind people to suck their energy, time and empathy
You are wiser and smarter than some people twice your age. Totally agree with you on this topic! Some people are okay with superficial friends to smoke and drink with, who come and go. It's not the life i want to live. I choose quality over quantity. 😊
@@escapefr0mslender no it doesn't, someone not being your enemy isn't supposed to mean that they are your friend or neutral. It just means that you don't hate them
Bro you are one of those guys that I feel so connected with. The things you say are with a 100% pin point accuracy relatable and exactly what i am experiencing in my daily life. Keep you work up, you are motivating people and giving them a better life!
Your video came up in my home page. I very rarely comment but bro. If you’re reading this… I’ve felt the same way and moved on. Your video was stuff I discovered myself just like you. It’s almost like a confirmation i’m onto a better chapter in my life and I’m excited for it. Thanks for having the balls to be authentic and tell your truth bro. A lot of us hear and feel your words because we loved them as well. Dope ass vid… I’ll probably never watch your videos again, but this is what youtube should be. Authentic and real.
being a loner and has tried going out wanting to be friends with those people that have huge groups always doing something. i feel so seen in this video. i used to think my mom was lame for having one friend (a longtime childhood friend) she said I'd understand when im older. now im in my 20s have those friends i know will be around for years and i completely get it. after have a deep conversation about our friendship yesterday and this video i have new perspective on life and my friendship. im glad i found your channel ❤
This video really spoke to me. I can relate with everything you've said as a fellow loner and I am grateful for the few people I can truly call my friends.
The real question is, how do so many toxic, manipulative people find partners? Like they literally have husbands and wives meaning someone loves them so much they’re willing to spend their entire life with them. That’s fucking insane
@@siennajayden well yeah but you still need to find someone who is willing to put up with you if you’re a toxic person. If anything, if you’re toxic, dating should be hard for you because no one wants to be around toxic people.
Omgosh!! This is exactly how I feel!! Thank u for speaking the truth boldly. Always wish ppl would DARE to disengage from clicks in office, even if it means having to be alone during lunch and break time. But no one dares. One guy likes reading a book instead of having to sit in the long lunch break with his coworkers looking at their playing their phones and talking rubbish that doesn’t edify him. When he was called all sorts of names because of reading a book, rather than doing what the rest does, he stopped doing what he like just to fit in. I really really DONT understand WHY ppl have no guts to stand alone (even if ppl calls them outcast / loner). Because do their opinion even matter?! Really detest the “fit in” culture.
it’s really cool to see so many people with such similar values about this stuff. gossiping really makes you feel empty and ruins more relationships than build them up. the people you can have deep conversations with are so much more valuable (in my opinion).
I used to have alot of friends. Most of em left. The ones that left are the ones that arn´t real. It´s safe to say that I prefer a smaller friend group. I actually got more of my goals done more efficiently. Also most importantly when they left God became my real number one best friend. Its gonna stay that way.
Man everything you said is so relatable, I’ve literally gone thro all this and came to same conclusion. The many times i tried to be friends with the popular in any way but at the same time neither any of us get closer and i am losing my real friends, it felt horrible and i felt horrible tbh distancing myself from my real friends who i actually love just for some validation from the popular kids. I never understood what was there that stopped me from getting closer to them, what’s the wall, even if they are not toxic, but its just we are sooo different, and i saw this many times but denied it, the amount of times i sit with them and try to have a conversation back with them but i just cant, we were so freaking different i couldnt get what they were saying or what theyre up to or whatever or even have the same interests they have. That all with the fear of losing my real friends left alone because i try to invest more of my time with the popular kids, i actually hated myself. But because they are real homies (im so grateful to have them) they never left me, I eventually and finally admitted that true happiness comes within company not only with the friends you love, but who love u back. I spent days trying to fit in and get back home freaking depressed because of the constant failure i face, but the days i just didnt care and spent times with my real friends,i swear i was the happiest, even if they were seen as the “lame” people. Being happy with the lame people is cool within itself, we are all different and eventually we gonna be left alone anyway, so choose wisely and dont spend ur time seeking for validation that never comes and lose ur real homies. Im now the happiest i am in my social life within my small circle. But its very important to not make it ur comfort zone, go out and build more real friends and communicate with others and hangout.
You know, thank you so fucking much for this, it's the most down to earth and just, real media I've seen this year. I went through this exact thinking pattern for 2 years (21 and 22) and I didn't have anyone I could, really talk to anyone about since my 'friends' were those as you described 'dap me up' kind of people that didn't, to me, have much capability to talk about deep stuff. After that though, later in 2022, I found a very special group of friends that were actually genuine and respectful of my boundaries and prospects, this year was our graduating year though and it was very emotional to me after all the shenanigans, funnies, and events we went to..as a family. I only speak to one of them now, and they are the best friend I've ever had so far. All my other friends went and split up into different schools and I hope one day, we can sit up, catch up, and have a laugh again. Thanks for this video man, I wish we could talk irl because you are a very rare type of person (in a good way!) I think you'll go a long way, thanks.
I used to be in a situation like this the only friend group I had was one that was insanely toxic, controlled by one person who would constantly talk smack about other people their life and us behind our back but they would always end up being invited to parties etc. It made me feel so alone and crazy like I was the problem and that people are just like that. Then I went to an art school, originally I was going to take a gap year to focus on my mental health and how much that person destroyed it but im glad I was forced to go to college. It put me in a situation where I had to be around people who had similar interests to me and loved what they were doing. I'm so lucky that I've been able to meet so many amazing people who are genuinely passionate about art and their interests and don't berade and belittle other people for it or shit talk each other or only care about status and popularity. It's refreshing. But it also terrify's me, there's so many things I internalised that where toxic that I didn't even realise till I was in a healthy environment so now im scared of everything ending and things going back to the way they were. I guess what im trying to say is that it's chliche but it does exist, you are capable of finding people that can be positive influences on your life but it's scary and you really have to put yourself out there and have faith. It’s also ok if you want to be alone or have 1-2 friends that you can be close with. I’m still learning how to be more comfortable with being on my own. But if you do want to have a big group of people I recommend joining clubs it's kinda hard depending on where you live but sometimes it turns out that there's actually a lot you can do in your city if you know where to look. (I live in WA Perth which is this tiny ass city in the middle of nowhere with barely any activities but there's actually a lot of debate clubs, lgbtq groups, art nights, small music festivals, cons, it's just a lot more local and smaller than bigger cities but it's an opportunity to be apart of something you love and meet people that way, which hopefully isn't too draining if your introverted.)
Holy shit I was just reading the comments, I see you namedrop Perth, lmao I think I know exactly the club you're talking about. It's a really good group and bought me out of my shell as well ^^ like lowkey actually life-changing, damn it's such a small world
I was Halfway off of social media before i found your page and now I’ve deleted everything and I feel like a new woman. Im so much more present and happier. Thank you Reece for putting this out there for whoever finds it. You’re awesome
you should make a discord server for the community, i feel like every single person who watches this channel will be wholesome in nature and will be able to relate to eachother so it’d be cool talking with others similar in mindset!!
It’s ironic how ostracised we would be to the community around us if we didn’t have to subdue our authentic selves but the people who think like us are out there but are scattered all over the globe. This is why financial abundance and escaping the rat race is essential, that’s the key to finding those people. Be grateful you’re lonely now, you’re less likely to follow the crowd and your future self will reap the rewards if you fulfil your potential now (but you can also mess this up, it’s your choice).
what most of us dont realize is that in reality most of your "friends" are not your friends. Our human nature is to be social, thats why we think the one with most atention, affection and friends is happier but in reality all of that is most BS. Stop caring about getting friends and try to be closer and real to yourself and then you will probably finally find someone that actually is a real friend. I remember so many parties being with girls or boys etc. And most of them where in their phones scrolling. Im 18. I feel that my generation, youngers and olders, are being more and more fake, more plastic. Im the common "funny" guy but in reality im lonely. I use my carism to be funny so I feel closer but in reality I dont feel a connection with most of my "friends"
Don't change your basic essence and being. Keep this core of who you are. It's awesome like one of those 1980's 🎥 movies you speak of! I felt like this at age 15 and I still do today as a sprouted tree 🎄 a little older...a little wiser like an owl. My grandma had a saying: TRUE FRIENDS ARE LIKE DIAMONDS, 🔹 PRECIOUS BUT RARE. FALSE FRIENDS ARE LIKE SCATTERED LEAVES 🍃 FOUND EVERYWHERE.
I've kinda realized this myself over time, but I'm glad to hear it from someone else. Some people are just either not sociable or not compatible with me, admittedly I lack social skills as well, but I've tried and narrowed down my friend group to select few and stuck with it. For years I thought it was all just excuses, and I still think it is a little bit, but again, glad to hear someone else like me. It gets a lot better after you graduate, you're no longer forced to hang around with the people you don't like.
Don’t worry about fitting in with others because you’re not meant to fit in with them. You’re here to make a better world a better society, so don’t try to fit in with this one make a better one.
I completely agree with everything you said! Thank you for reminding me that having even one real friend is so much better than having 20 fake/toxic/not close ones. Have a great day/night!
As I approach 30 Ive realized that often times staying at home and relaxing is more fun than going out, feel zero shame about being a homebody its perfectly natural. Not saying its good to have absolutely zero friends (it isn't) or never go out ever, but strike a healthy balance. Go out and do stuff when you want to, not because you think you have to.
Thanks, for making this video Reece. These days I've been feeling really bad about myself cuz nobody seems to want to befriend me. I'm introverted, but i started approaching people cuz i believed my lack of friends was cuz i rarely initiate conversations. Still, my efforts didnt change anything. People are polite to me, and so am i to them and I've made very good aquaintances, but none of them seem to want to be friends. And my friends that i already have dont really care about me, they only hit me up when they are bored or need help. I thought something was wrong with me. But your video made me feel better.
Ikr! When I deal w that kind of ppl I go up to them only 2 times and if they r not interested i just stop. Dw tho, you will find ppl who r right for you!
@@mintyh yeah and sometimes I’ve noticed that it’s not even personal at all it’s just a circumstance stuff ! One of my friends actually rejected me for two years ( yes ) cuz I’ve met her online and she just happened to never see my comments and messages but two years after I started, she actually saw them and even apologized for ghosting me for so long ah ah. So yeah, I would recommend not to always give up but not being too attached to the outcome.
You’ve got really great insight. As you grow up, you’ll see more that people genuinely do not know how to be alone. I am really extroverted and used to rely on being out all day with friends and wanting that company. Until I realized that I really just hated being alone. But that’s a skill you’re going to need in life. I proud of you for figuring this out at your age. Although I do have to say this - all friendships are worth kindling. No one is going to be there more for you than those group of people you know you can go to when you go through a breakup, have a hard day, need someone to cry to, have good news, etc. Keep yourself open to opportunities but keep this skill to your heart because you’ll just be more grounded than the majority who go home and don’t know what to do with themselves. Best of luck!!
Wow this was great! A lot of what you mentioned is biblical principle as well I’m not sure if you’re a Christian but it definitely aligns with the type of lifestyle the Lord wants for us as well! Love it
I’m 16 and going to be in the junior year by next month. I’ve reflected on this sophomore year and realized these toxic people are always put on the pedestal. I use to be jealous on how they would hang out with each other and it seemed like they got along. But in reality, they all talk bad about each other and are disconnected yet they don’t want to let each other ago. It’s this idea where being alone is “embarrassing.” During the freshmen year, I had little to no friends at all because I ended up cutting everyone off to protect my peace , I do not behave in degrading people, and they were continuously on their phones just refreshing just to scroll. This step was being open to better friendship by releasing who doesn’t align with my boundaries. During my sophomore year, I met one of the greatest people alive who was once my DREAM bestfriend.
I never thought I'd find anyone that's just like me 😭 the way you speak is like my reasoning inside voice and you play guitar too :) I luv you, and thanks for the amazing video!
Social validation has always been a trouble for me in the past months, along side jealousy and as a Christian i should know that love comes from the most high and yet i still have that trouble. This video brought so much value in my life. Thanks reece👍
this video was much needed,, ive always been isolated from those around me as they always use substance as their ideal for “fun.” there’s nothing inherently wrong with that,, there’s just differences. you feel lonely as you don’t want to partake in that as that isn’t your idea of fun,, you worded that perfectly,, your videos truly make me feel less alone. im so grateful i found your channel!! :)
I felt so alone and insane for thinking the way I did. Thank you for giving me hope going into sophomore year of high school. You truly mean a lot to me
This video absolutely hits hard and I love that I’ve always been in friendships that weren’t entirely the best, since elementary school, I was hanging around friends that either used me or insulted me and I always thought that was just the norm. I didn’t like it but it was that I was used to. But yeah, I would see all these shows of how friendship was “supposed” to be but I thought it was just exaggerated and maybe things were different in the real world. I’m not gonna pretend I didn’t also engage with the toxicity, over time, you’re with toxic people so much, you develop their mindset because you think it’s normal. I felt really guilty all the time but I was always reassured that it was fine. Talking behind backs and insulting others like it was okay, but it wasn’t. I didn’t like it at all but it was so normalized. I didn’t know how to get out of these friendships. I was afraid to because I was worried for myself if I left, like if they said things about me, or told everyone my secrets, my family stuff, stuff I’m ashamed of that I did in the past, etc I never thought I’d ever find actual friends that weren’t like the kind I’ve had for so long I’m 22 and again, since elementary school, that’s the kind of people I’ve been around all the time People that didn’t seem to have my best interest at heart And of course, obviously the kind that would hangout but just be on their phones texting their friends almost the entire time. Or at least, it felt like it. It wasn’t fun. It just felt like existing together. I ended up making some new friends who genuinely love me and care about me They take the time to show that they care and respect me as a person They don’t get upset when or if I have any issues We communicate when there’s a problem It’s just A regular friendship And there have been moments where I’m terrified of things I shouldn’t be, because I’m not used to it They’re amazing and I seriously don’t know where I’d be right now without them Real friends do exist and it took me literal years to realize that Thank you for this video, it’s deep and it’s true It’s unfortunate but it’s honest
You're v wise! Gossip is an indication of emotional immaturity and also passive aggressiveness. If they do it to other people they'll do it to you too. And lot's and lot's of "friends" is an indication of bad judgment skills. And so many people around you schoolmates, classmates, neighbours, coworkers don't really care about you, they just talk to you bc you're there. Also people who gossip about others all the time don't know how to build genuine connections and bonds with other people, so they bond on who they dislike and turning other people against them and most people don't actually care about you to check in with you to say "so and so is saying this about you, is it true?" So keeping a small grp of friends who align with your values, morals and are values driven rather than self-interest driven is the way to go.
I am 63yrs old. And always was a loner. I love people and talking with people but I don't get involved. My best friend is my 18yr old grandson. KEEGAN. And we have the perfect friendship. I would never let him down. And I know I'm a very special grandmother to him.
I never felt so understood than with your and Saige Page videos, you two guys get me so well 😢❤ Wish you both better relationships than those toxic ones that are pure "smoke" than actual connections, i get how lonely one feels surrounded by them.
A few months ago I was the same as my classmates, we never had anything to talk about unless we started to talk shit about someone. When I started my spiritual journey mid April I realized what my beliefs are, started to love myself more (still going, healing is very hard and it goes up and down for me a lot). That's when I realized that when I stopped gossiping with them, they stopped hanging out with me or didn't have any real conversation with me as a whole group. I still like them as separate people but once they get together it's insane, especially once you find out that they gossip even about their closest friends, including me back then. I realized that most of them are very insecure people and it makes them feel good to put others down. I found a different girl in my class who heals my feminine energy now and sure I do sometimes feel bad that I am no longer with them, that I won't be as cool as them now but I always remember the pain and insecurity I went through when I was with them.
Im starting high school soon, and all of your videos are giving me tips of how to build better friendships and how to be a better person. Thank you for taking your time to make these videos.
you’re going to do so great in highschool with all this knowledge!!! i’m going into my junior year and i don’t regret any of my past yet i can only imagine how much you will progress knowing all of these things or not having social media while you go through these next four years. best of luck!!
Thank you so much for this video. I‘m currently going through a phase of loneliness because I had to cut off most people. I don’t regret it, it was for the best and I’m happier like this. But before new friends, real ones can come in…I compare myself. This opened my eyes, thank you ❤! You seem like an amazing human.
first! Pin!
king
gustavo fring
@@Tomppsulate
@@marcos.queirozismart7443 gustavo fring is never late.
@@Tomppsu hahaha, genius
I think why toxic people have more friends is that they provide entertainment. Most people don't give a damn whether you're nice or what, they want drama and chaos to fill themselves up. Toxic people appear confident and very in tune with their self-expression, and to the majority of people, they seem fun. This is the era of instant gratification where most people have short attention spans; people want instant connection, it's either you vibe or not. Most "nice" people I know of take time to warm up, and who has time for that?
100 % right!
But there's the differen's between being nice and kind.
Excellent observation.
Nice is good in talk.
Kind is good in actions, or both.
Hope you know now from cak.
Beautifully interpreted. It’s shocking how many people I can relate this to.
yeah, people love gossiping and once you start it's hard to stop, the real horror begins when you actually do try to stop and realize how many of your relationships are based on just gossiping together
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🤍🤍🤍
so true 🙌
that's what im sayin!
lost sm friends trying to stop
@@سمية-غ4ب the real ones will eventually come, you should be proud of yourself trying to get rid of the things not serving you 🙏
My school's culture to "be cool" absolutely requires partying, drinking, and drama. I don't even like these kids but I always wanted to be invited to parties, etc. It's nice to see another young person that doesn't say that's the life that all young people *need* to experience
Dont envy them most of the time kids that went there just waste time , if you really2 want try to make effort to suck up ,gnawed a bit to your pride and try to friend the cool kids till you get invited.
Not worth it tho, but if you never try you'll always obsess.
I prefer reading and listening music or doing personal project holed whole weeks in my room tho , back then social media wasn't even a thing 😂
@isa-ne4oe exactly my thoughts and that sounds so much more chill lmfao
@l_z1478 I agree it's really not worth it haha, and me too I'm such an introvert
In the 80s & 90s, it was "bully or be bullied." If you didn't want to be uncool or bullied, you had to join the monkeys in their shit-slinging escapades.
Agree, same here. I was homeschooled so it's incredibly hard to find friends of any sort, especially ones that share my long term gratification mindset.
Looking for people in good physical shape is a good sign though, most anyone who's serious about self improvement will be atleast in decent shape.
And for the guys, just because a girl has a big ol booty doesn't mean she's put work in for it, there's a different between the genetic lottery of fat deposits and actually hitting the gym to build *muscle* , you're looking for people who put work in.
As a middle aged woman I can say that these dynamics don't really change as you get older. There are always those "toxic" people who are the center of attention who talk crap and treat people poorly.... and "kind" people end up pushed out/not invited/isolated. I would rather be a loner and be true to myself than to engage in these bizarre, negative and fake dynamics and 'friendships'. And good for you for having already figured this out...took me quite longer to accept these things. I struggled like hell with this and still get frustrated with the absurdities of social dynamics. But when you find the other genuine, kind and wonderful people out there...things fall into place.....and you can appreciate life and friends with people who appreciate you.
me has hecho llorar wuebonn
Sadly, this is me and my ex-friend
You just described him in your comment. He acts like he’s the center of attention, who talks crap about others and treats them (and myself) poorly. But me? I’m a kind, empathetic individual that always tries to please everyone. Yet I get ignored and not invited. I felt like I didn’t fit in, or they didn’t want me around. As a people pleaser, I attract fake friends, narcissistic, self-absorbed, bullies. In general, I attract toxic people like a magnet. It took me a long time to realize they weren’t my friends, but rather they were just using me and didn’t actually care about me or even bother to have me around. The truth hurt, and it left me feeling hurt and betrayed. I thought it was my fault, and I was wondering what I have done wrong. Honestly, I’d rather have no friends than have fake people in my life.
I recently cut off from my ex-friend, along with the people associated with him. I blocked him and I friended him on every platform. I’m healing now, and I feel much happier! ❤
This is something I started to ask myself when I got spelled from my group of friends. A girl was bullying me constantly, and all of them witnessed it. And what did they do? Cast me out. They never told anything to that girl, and they still hangout with her and even say things like she's a really good and kindhearted person.
And here I am, alone. Luckily, I've met a new friend recently and she seems actually nice.
I hope you're feeling better and I hope the friend you now have is the one for you. You remind me of a girl whom I used to be with, let's say. We don't talk anymore, unfortunately, but her friends left her and were all not the kindest to her. Thankfully though, she found a new friend, although it was only one lass she friended, it definitely did help a lot. I'm not sure what has happened to her now but I can tell she's definitely in a much more better situation now than she was 5 months ago.
But to sum it up, I hope you're doing well because it does hurt. I've never experienced it - and I hope I never get to, and that no-one else will either - but I did know someone who went through something similar, mentioned above, and it did hurt her a lot. But I was there for her and she got a new friend and she got feeling a whole lot better. But like I said, I'm not sure what's happening as of now but I know that when we broke ties, she was in a good place and situation, I hope so. I don't know if I'll ever be able to contact her ever again, but we shall see.
The reason that they did that is because they’re weak;they were afraid of being bullied themselves so sided with the bully.Losing those friends was a blessing in disguise I have been in the exact same situation and am glad it happened or else I would of became one of them.
These kids of bullies will lie to the rest of the friends about you behind your back.
They will tell these other people that you are talking badly about them behind their backs and tell them to not tell you about it.
Also these types of people who believe the lies also secretly have it out for you also and the bully cements the smear.
It's best to stay away from such people.
That happened to me with an ex, she was awful to me, but her friends stood by and didn't call her out even when they knew she was in the wrong. It was only when I walked away they did something about it because she started taking her issues out on them.
this was actually really comforting. i totally didnt realize that when some people go out, it's not fun: they're on their phones, they all secretly hate each other (common in huge friend groups), or their friendships are shallow and based on gossip/bullying. i had this illusion that everyone just has genuine, quality friendships but you made me realize its not true. i dont have a lot of friends but the few that i have around me shine like gold. the things you said were super cathartic and i actually feel calm now, thanks a lot man.
Read your bible! (KJV, preferably) ♥ . . ..
You need to observe people and read body language
well said, and being with bad friends ould lose your life ie drugs, boy ra-nng et
this is so real dude. the people with the most friends at my school are the most toxic. while i try stay kind and humble, people call me cringe and a “nice guy” for it. (nice guy in a sarcastic way) im sick of it.
@@skadoosh6000 you can edit comments
you're not cringe for that.. never stop bro
@@reecedanielss of course dude, i know deep down that they just look for reasons to complain because it entertains them! i try to ignore it, it gets to me sometimes by thats only natural :)
@@skadoosh6000yeah its hard bro being alone but in this age it’s honestly better,with time you’ll meet some people that actually arent bad,they will help support you and you to them too,but rn just focus ln your goals and developing yourself
fr like i don’t know why its considered “cringe” to be kind to people and actually treat them like a decent human being. most of the kids at my school get a lot of attention simply for just trash talking people and making them feel like they’re not worthy because they have different interests or hobbies from others. all because of popularity. people nowadays would rather join the crowd and make you feel stupid than actually stand up for you and be a friend. it makes me sick.
As a loner and someone who often gets the fear of missing out (FOMO) feeling, I can completely relate to this video. Thank you for shedding light on how every loner should be extremely grateful.
Amen to that! 🙏🏾
of course my friend
Same!
Is the fomo thing same as feeling lonely-? Cuz my friend did described this fomo feeling to me. While I actually don't really feel missing out anywhere, I feel like I just get jealous when half of my friends are out there having fun with their boyfriends while I'm here sitting in my room, studying. I even cried about it. It's not that I don't get invited to parties or social events, just that Ik I'm not really the party animal/club person. Basically, I find socializing a bit hard so I tend to avoid social events, in turn my "friends" finding me boring & ultimately going out on their own without even bothering to ask me
@@devashrijoshi9079 It correlates but at the same time if you’re naturally just not a people person there is no reason to be upset about it. When you learn to enjoy your own company man anything is possible & 9/10 your friends relationships with their boyfriends may seem fun and loving but trust me behind closed doors it’s not the same so save your peace and just be open to new things while you’re at it.
I will never understand why people like to gossip and talk shit. I rather be alone than have to listen to someone run their mouth and talk bad about someone who I don't even know well
I was a socially awkward kid that didn't have many friends in high school. When I went to college, I joined a fraternity. I thought it was going to be so great because I'd finally be one of the popular kids and go to parties all the time. What I found out was it was miserable. Parties were just a race to get drunk with music playing so loud you couldn't hold a conversation and people just trying to get laid. All the conversations with the guys had to be about sex and who was doing who and who had the highest body count. Just shallow stuff that I wasn't interested in. I get that's all some people want, but it was a nightmare for me.
I tried so many times to get into the party lifestyle, but it just wasn't for me. Within the first hour I'd be ready to go home. I ended up quitting the fraternity, and I realized none of the relationships I made there mattered. The few friends I had in high school had way more of an impact in my life than the 50+ "friends" I had in this fraternity that I haven't heard from since I left. Do what makes you happy, and screw what everyone else thinks. You won't find happiness chasing the popularity dream if you have to be a fake version of yourself all the time.
Yes thank you, the "popular" guys have nothing in their life going on than just talking about sex and women ,I just found it gross.
Being legitimately anti-social (having pretty bad social anxiety) when I was in school taught me to value the few friends I did have (even if they never lasted), it taught me that I was ok not being the loudest and most outgoing. If anyone wanted to talk to me, I was and still am a great listener!
People like having the freedom to vent and talk for hours if you’re willing to listen.
That's nice of you, however I experienced the same and I don't like to be the surrounding people's emotional trashbag they can just complain to all day but as soon as I would need them they don't care, or they otherwise ignore me anyway.
@@canyongoat2096 Same- I feel like I'm being used as an emotional dumping bag
tbh im the type of person who talks ALOT like 24/7 and most of my friends also are talkative, i have one friend who listens most of the time and shes really great, but i always make sure to ask her if shes okay with me talking so much. and if shes annoyed she can tell me to stop. i hate making ppl uncomfortable so i always try to make them feel comfortable ;v; just so u know make sure to voice ur opinion and tell your friends if you are annoyed or upset etc. etc. your feelings are valid -v-. have a nice day and i hope you get many good friends
@@canyongoat2096People come to me to vent, but they do it because I convince them to. I don't feel used, they consistently ask me about my mental health and I find helping people extremely rewarding.
@@devashrijoshi9079 Same here. I’ve been a venting machine for some people throughout my life and it’s draining. Recently I had to cut someone off because he started using me as a stand-in therapist.
I’ve been struggling a bit with losing a friend group who just gossiped 24/7 and the moment I talked to someone they didn’t like I’m now on the outs. This really helped me make peace with the situation, thank you.
Me too :0
Props for getting out of there 👍🥲
Hey, we don't know each other but just know some random guy out there is proud of you! Prolly sounds very weird I'm sorry lol. You did the right thing and you're gonna be way better in the future. Toxicity is contagious, it becomes normal and at some point you're gonna be riddled by it and it just makes you miserable and depressed. You're gonna find nice peeps out there even though it seems like they aren't there sometimes.
Been there, got out. Enjoy the solitude, really makes you realize picking friends you have to be picky. Everyone wants a best friend, not many are willing to be that.
Bro Im doing the exact same, glad to not be the only one going through this.
Hey there I'm currently in a similar situation. I disagreed with a person in my friend group over something stupid, and their behavior during the disagreement made me feel the need to distance myself from that person. The friendgroup chose to follow that person. I wish you good luck in finding the right people, and hope there is some luck left for myself too.
I think one of the biggest reasons why I like your videos is how you really take what you're saying to your heart, you don't even play music in the background and just have the natural sounds there, it really gives off the feeling of truthfulness and I can just feel you putting your feelings and thoughts into words.
Growing up having a toxic childhood friend was definitely not easy. Whenever we were in a group setting they would become a comedian but at the expense of making fun of others. And like you said, whenever we hung out they would always be on their phone, so it’s funny to say we’ve known each other our whole lives but never really connected over anything important. Over the past two years we’ve grown more distant. It’s been hard seeing them on social media posting themselves out looking like they’re having the time of their life. Especially after I’ve made an effort to be honest and deepen our friendship. But I’m starting to realize that that’s not the kind of relationship I want, or would feel happy to have. Thank you for posting, and keep up the good work! You’re changing lives😊
My family is the same, and when we visit it’s like their sucked into their phones, never present
I am familiar with this phenomenon firsthand.
When I was toxic myself, I had a lot of people around me who considered me a good friend, no matter what spiteful things I say about them and the people around me. But as soon as I realized my behavior (the negative feedback from people around me prompted these thoughts, when I really went too far sometimes) and what led to it, and embark on the path of correction - they all threw me, and even more - stood up against me. It`s... really something strange.
You know that is a very brave thing to admit urself as toxic..whoever you were toxic if they learn that u realised ur mistakes they will feel better...The change u brought in to urself deserves some praise..
A very different type of comment from the one above, but as someone who suffered from people like you, I want you to feel ashamed because no level of guilt or whatever you felt, probably doesn't add up to the pain you caused.
@@tayar3797 You have a full right to think like this. But don't forgot that people who toxic, often got some shit in their past, so they cope with that like that. Anyway, i am sorry for you struggle, my friend.
Oh i've struggled mate and I have gone through shit for years on end, toxic relationships, abusive father, dead mom, endless racism, its just how we cope, anyways we are all just reflections of our experiences at the end of the day, so its best for you and especially me to move on
@tayar3797 Don't let the toxins infect you, easier said than done, but we can always do our best
when high school ended, i thought the people i saw everyday would keep in touch. but i only actively talk to 2 people i went to school with.
definitely hit hard at first, but slowly realized that *these* people are and were my friends, not the people i had conversations with at lunch and in class. really made me understand the actual meaning of the word "friend".
I actually learned this before even finishing high school. I'm in my senior year and have realized that people come and go. It's just a natural way of living. The kicker is the fact that EVERY year, seniors graduate, grow up, and move on. There was a girl who was a senior last school year and she had blocked me on Insta. At first I thought if I had did something wrong before I quickly finished the puzzle that she and I didn't really vibe. Most convos between us were superficial and we knew it. So when she blocked me, I felt better.
@@MichaeltheArchangel1-w5n Damn that's a hard lesson. I'm glad you took it so well though. You're really mature yknow
Yeah, here in England there’s like 2 high schools. One from 11-16, and one from 16-18. I just left the first stage, and tbh I was always friends with everyone. But it’s been 3 months since I graduated, and I only talk to around 4-5
I recently cut off a 10+ year friendship because my former best friend defended my abusers of 5+ years that I am now going to therapy for. I really needed this today because I currently don’t have any friends anymore and am mostly alone. Dealing with my mental health has been really hard this year and it feels like I’m always met with backstabbers as “friends”. I’m just hoping I can build better relationships for my future self. Thanks for this video, it was really encouraging and made me feel less lonely!
I’m sorry I hope your doing better and she clearly doesn’t deserve you
Women ☕
I hope you are doing Better now
I went through a similar situation so it was kinda hard for me but in the end it all worked out in case you need some tips
@@fighterinmkiwiscience3517 So this is why you're on a video about why people have more friends than you isn't it
@@fighterinmkiwiscience3517Grow up.
It sucks seeing people like you living in different countries knowing I would get along so well with them
where are you from?
@@reecedanielss Ireland🇮🇪
Sooo true. I've got an extremely small circle of online friends but I'm always sad about them all being so far away and having absolutely 0 locally. I've tried many things but unfortunately I've found most people just aren't looking for anything else but temporary validation. They want to feel like they're wanted but don't want to actually put in the effort to make meaningful connections. I mean you won't believe how many times I've met people I got along amazing with (or know that I would) but they sabotage themselves out of talking with me. I say it's validation but not gonna lie I think a lot of it is also just mental illness and drugs. Too many broken people who can't see worth in anything even if it's directly in front of them.. Besides that though I also see the kinds of friends I wanna make on social media but I can't usually ever seem to find those types in my area. But if anything sometimes that's also an illusion because posers still exist too. Unfortunately I guess there's never really an easy answer to all this sadly because it's quite complicated.
@@Justin-xi6ue how old are you? And damn thats rough.
@@Artsu1993 I’m 27 next month. And yeah definitely. To make matters worse, during this past year I’ve been in an LDR with someone half way across the world. I’m half Filipino/White and ironically I’m a lot more popular in the Philippines vs America. Finding friends or a girlfriend there is not really how I pictured my life to be, and of course I still have many doubts about it even working at all.
Considering I also lost my first real love maybe about two to three years ago now. We were together for around 3-4 years (also an LDR but it was at least just a few states away). Unfortunately she became a lot more mentally unstable and changed. She ended up cheating and taking about 5,000 USD from me. I was manipulated into doing so and I was stupid to believe that helping her would help prevent her from wanting to kill herself, and that it would help bring us back together for when she is mentally healthier again.
In the end however I got ghosted for several months, and I found out she had another man again while she claimed to be working on things with me previously. The worst part is I still find myself comparing everyone to her and the connection we had, but that connection is long gone however because my greatest love burnt every bridge. I’m just damaged and perhaps my judgement is clouded.
Either that or I just haven’t really found the right people I’m not so sure. So yeah suffice to say things have been quite rough and confusing for me for a long time now. My last real in person friend was only just shortly after high school. Friends for 2 years but he ditched me for other friends and to join the military. That was when I was about 19. So 8 years since I’ve had any local in person friendships.
People have invited me to things and I’ve texted them but they don’t put any effort beyond that. Sucks but that’s my life I guess here in NA. If anything I also feel discriminated against, because as an Asian I don’t have your typical masculine features or rebelliousness (smoking, parties, alcohol). Statistics point to Asians not being as openly accepted here. Thankfully it’s gotten better with the rise in K-Pop and K-Dramas, but of course there’s still a lot of work to do just in trying to change public perception.
I'm 14, and I've never felt much inclination to get into social media and all that other teenage crap. My unwillingness has kind of led to me being an outcast around the majority of my peers, but honestly, looking at stuff like this reassures me that I made the right decision. Because as much as everyone calls on me for being weird, I have a small group of real, true friends like me who don't gossip, are easy to talk to, and are genuinely fun and kind. We're all very supportive to each other, and we always have things to talk about, and weird things to obsess over (whether it be cars with eyelashes, public transit buses, or fantasy book plot twists.)
I'm not saying everyone else in this universe is a toxic popular kid (the comments of this video resolutely prove that), but there are a decent amount of people who are, and it really concerns me. Their habits of "phone phone phone gossip gossip gossip party party party" are not healthy (as this video said), and I worry for their mental health. I hope kids like this can find a way to break out of this cycle, and discover different ways to have fun other than gossiping and whatever else they do for entertainment.
Fax, LISTEN: Highschool is literally just a ‘biggest d1ck competition’ so if you don’t participate in it than your I stanly better
I was like you when I was 14, and I turned out fine, so don't worry too much.
I was and still is like this, I’m in my 40’s and still weird 😁, find your strength, it’s most important to find your meaning for your life and in order to make a difference, you have to be different.
well said. Being away from the rowd do what you feel is right. When I was 14 I was the same. Girls were getting preggers at that age too. I avoided bad types and yes, you are seen as weird. You do what you feel is right and mi with quality people or even done if there are none. Find hobbies that interest you, as we get older friends and ome and go but there are always hobbies
I'm 14 too and go through similar problems. Even my "friend group" is filled with people I don't really consider that close, and don't trust at all. I have a few good, true friends, and they make me genuinely happy
"A friend to all is a friend to none"
- Aristotle
As an older person who has been on both sides of this situation I can assure you everything said here is correct. The craziest part to me here is that not drinking and smoking has become counter culture, being a healthy smart individual is counter to society today. That is the scary part because although when I was in high school back in the early 2010s, there was a lot of partying going on and hookup culture and all that it was not actually the norm. Probably at most 30% of people I knew were into that kind of lifestyle and the rest looked down on them for being so crazy. Today it's the opposite.
Older person, Bro Ur Like 28 years old 💀
STRAIGHT EDGE!
I’m 28 if that counts as ‘older’ and when I graduated in 2013 I can say my high school was mostly into partying and hookup culture and the more straight-laced types were frowned upon
@@aesopwolf3126I’m 28 and I thought that while reading “I graduated in the early 2010s” like how is that ‘older’? Haha
@@himenyx153 I graduated in 2013 and definitely at least half of my school smoked weed and drank.
As I've grown older, I've understood that just because someone else says you should be having fun doing something they want to do does not mean you should. I was under the impression there was something wrong with me if I didn't want to do something with toxic people. I'm still working on myself, but the FOMO goes away when you don't have to see or deal with those toxic people anymore. It's liberating when you can understand your own path, and it feels good to know you don't need to be doing what other people are doing to find happiness.
Do what you're comfortable with. You are allowed to have fun and enjoy life in different ways, and don't let certain people make you think you need to be with them to feel good or succeed. You shouldn't have to drink poison just because you're thirsty.
This vid honestly makes me feel a lot better about not hanging out with one of my old friends anymore because his hobbies and new friend group just don't align with mine. I'm finding myself to be much happier just chatting about random and funny things rather than gossiping about others or having strange conversations about politics.
Good luck to you, friend.
@@ВладиславБулаев-л3э Thanks.
Same man. I also hate gossiping so I try to avoid that. Tho yeah they sometimes bring it up, man the political talk can be crazy
Read your bible! (KJV, preferably) ♥ . . ..
I kinda went through a glowup mentally, and am so much happier than I was, and it kinda made me realize how valuable friends are. Like having genuine friends you can just be with and do dumb shit, play some games with after classes / work and trust / share an emotional connection with are the most important relationships, at least for me. I thought I was introverted but then kinda realized how a lot of that came from not feeling comfortable with myself around other people. IDk appreciating the people around me and trying to make meaningful connections makes life so much more fun :3 It does help that all my college classes are full of goofy game dev nerds, but starting something like DMing for dnd with some of my close friends has been such a pillar of happiness :))
That legit sounds like the best living you could have. Cherish it!
L pfp
@@mrpickles-hb6zx Silence, inceloid.
W pfp
@@mrpickles-hb6zx boo im so sad, stranger on internet was mean to me :P
This video is unbelievably down-to-earth. I wish only the best for you and your channel so that more people may hear this message. Thank you for doing what you do
I had a short phase when I was actively trying to get into the "popular kids" group, I went to some of their parties / hangouts and they were SO FRICKING LAME AND BORING I was like tf this looks nothing like the illusion I had in mind of them
i had the exact same experience - everyone was on their phones the whole time & all they did was talk shit about others
Lmao i had the opposite experience. They were actually cool and had a great time. But I didn’t really wanna party like that.
HAHA literally
@@raquelle07 yeah, one thing is for sure... spending time with them at parties was the freaking lame experience I ever had.
I am 16. I’m very socially awkward, have autism, and I am a talented and kind guy, but I only have 3 real friends that I relate with because I’m socially awkward, and have felt ashamed for a long time. I love that Reece is able to identify why certain people like me who have drive are actually not very good with socializing with others, I wish I was friends with Reece!
I have 2 friends that I don't often see in real life anymore.
@Nik-6675 I feel sorrow to hear that happen to you. It’s sad when people you’re friends with have to move. I’m in the exact same position, all my friends Brady, Alex, Ian and Ethan (graduate this year), and my best friends in my grade Xander, Brandon, and Virag (all in my grade) are moving out of state. Also my one friend going into 9th Grade Vince I can’t see much. I don’t get to talk to many of them anymore because of different life schedules or they don’t or even can’t use their phone to reach out a lot. The only close friends I have now are Martin Ma and Brandon who are in my grade and still live in state, and my friend going into 10th named Connor is moving to my school this year. Good luck with making new friends btw!
Don't worry about it matey, a lot of people have 3 friends less than you. Not to discredit how you feel about it at all but just know having 3 close friends is amazing. How are you gonna have time for yourself and other things if you had 20 ish "friends"? :p I can count my friends on one hand too and I learned a few years ago that it is way better than having many friends. If you're someone with so many friends, a big portion of them probably aren't actual, real friends. Some people throw this word around like it means nothing, a friend is not someone you randomly meet every once in a while and have a little chat with because you live in the same town.
@@brennanlettucetomato Its not that they moved it's because for instance with the first one we always hung out at my old apartment building because his grandfather lived there and he came to visit him that's how we met back in like 2014 I think maybe sooner but my earliest memory is from 2014 but then I moved away and we didn't have contact with one another for a bit so in 2020 I think it was I searched for him on I think Facebook despite the fact that I don't really use it to re-establish contact and it worked so now we talk on discord often we also play video games together but much less than we used to because I'm losing interest in games but he very recently just like a week ago started coming to my town because we live in the same municipality (just to clarify he didn't recently move he's livced there since he was like 11 and even then he was in the neighboring town) and that's pretty much it he's probably the best friend I have and then you have my other friend who also lives in the same municipality but not in the same town just like Rok the thing with him is that we only really hung out in school but just now we've completed it and the only time we saw each other since was going to the cinema to watch something recently we always go watch either movies that are horrible or extremely childish we would watch barbie but I'm very busy at the moment so that's pretty much that I could go on about my other friends but they're not really friend because I don't speak/text to them daily but this is getting really long and its like 5am and I just woke up from a nightmare my english is probably pretty bad right now.
@@dzudemlow thanks for the response, it makes sense!
I wish I had a friend like you
that's so kind :)
me too
I need someone so genuine in ma life , really do
anybody want to volunteer, maybe
@@yuktaagrawal9890✋️
@@yuktaagrawal9890same man
@@yuktaagrawal9890 In order for it to work there has to be rules. Hear me out. There only needs to be rules because the friendship would be started from nothing, whereas those who grew up friends or an environment that forced them to be together wouldn’t need them. But I think the mistake many of us make is that we think we can just be friends out of the blue and have it be “anything goes” and it expect it to magically last.
On the flip side of things, a person hears “rules” and runs, thinking that a friendship don’t need rules. It does, at first at least. There needs to be something to be pointed back to and referenced to keep the glue of the friendship together so that it if one falls out of line or begins to ghost, the rules can be referenced and used as an excuse to say what the heck & try with them. But if there are no rules and a person begins to wander off not talking, then with what strength or with what authority can the other try to keep it together besides from their own whim? And there need not be any major consequences for breach but at least once the rules are breached, it is more clear cut what is happening and what needs to be fixed.
Also, by establishing some rules in the beginning and both parties agreeing to it, there will at least be a consequence of the conscience for the breaker of it while the one keeping their part can be acquitted unto themselves mentally. But by at least having this, both have steak in the friendship. You might think these things have no bearing, but they do, and they add up.
And the friendship can be set for periods at a time like 1 month for example, and then from there can be decided upon whether to renew or not. That way, there are no hard feelings if the friendship ends and it can end mutually and peacefully rather than one side always being hurt. Plus, the short period increments helps with being more readily open to accept a friendship since it won’t mean investing one’s whole life into it which is why I think many are so “choosy” in deciding upon friendships or not. But at least with this, it’d be easier to accept.
I would way rather be alone than having one sided friendships. I hate being around people who don’t enjoy my company and expect me to be someone that I am clearly NOT. I mean it just wears me out! Changing just to suit others at my own expense just wears me out.
i cannot express how much you helped me with just this video, i have finally realized that the things i thought i missed out on i actually dont like and that those things arent a vibe for me. Thank You so much Reece, you earned a new sub.
I agree with you and I got so much stronger in these last few months. I cut off contact to all of my toxic friends. You said to focus on building the friendship with good people and real friends. My problem is that i don't really think I have a real friend. I think it's better to be alone than with people who are draining your energy, right? It's kinda lonely sometimes but i still love my life and I am working on becoming the best version of myself. Thank you for being you:)
good luck finding a real friend wish you the best
@@kyoi7568thank you
Exactly
Same here. Ik which people drain my energy but then again Idk if I have friends that I can say are my "real" friends
I’m completely alone as well! I have my mom, but that’s different than having friends your age whom you can personally relate with. I currently have “friends”, but they hardly invite me out and I constantly hear about them hanging out with each other, yet I was never invited🙄. It does piss me off. I’ve left so many friendships, but I somehow keep running into toxic friendships. I just hope I find some genuine friends sometime soon😩😩
I needed this video. Because I had a lot of toxic friendships in recent months and I really regret that I did and now and I don't have any friendship with someone ( I feel lonely). After watching this video I just relaxed and got informed about this at least today. Thank you so much. I wish everyone to have good friendships in their lives. :)
Bro ur not alone. I used to hang out with the “cool” girls but bruh. They are toxic and boring as fuck. Always on their phones and talking shit about eachother. They didn’t even want to built yk a deeper relationship with each other. I felt so alone and so anxious all the time only to spend 5 hours with them on our phones doing absolutely nothing and feeling judged all the time(I’m the problem on this one prob bc I’m insecure). But still, I felt so bad, they ignored everyone and it was draining. It’s hard to find real friendships I know but I am young and I lnow that there are people out there that I haven’t met yet that will change my life for the better
same
@@gaitanakithebestThose sound like such fake ass females smh.
I have a good friend we hangout eachother if we have time we run, workout and go to class because he is my classmate he is a true friend of mine he cares to me and I also care to him we also gossip and talk shit about on our classmates cuz thats how our toxic classmates do to make "friends" but that thing doesnt make friends and cause harm to others I told him to stop it because we can make alot of friends but toxic ones and are not your real friends he agreed with me which is a good choice for him, most of the time I just hangout with my trustworthy classmate this is just me telling yall that if tou want a good friend make sure you trust him and he does good to you not does drinking, smoking, party, etc crap
Im sorry if my grammar is wrong or error im not english major and english isnt my first language im just a asian dude that use english sometimes mostly in our English class
I am frankly happy to see that our generation isn't that lost after all. Almost entering my 20ties (03's) and having real ties is pretty hard because I used to (yeah "used to") change myself a lot to be that Girl. This girl hot and so cool, that everybody wants around, invited to all parties... At the end it was depressing, I spaced out a lot cuz I wasn't feeling connected to those persons. I no longer know who I am and isolating a lot. Too tired of fake relationships 😢
Can understand as a fellow 20 year old ('02 liner here). Ig once you start working & interacting with more people, you kinda learn to read people. I mean I can but only from afar. Once they interact with me my naive mind thinks they're all nice when Ik deep down that they just gonna be there till they have some work done from me. You're true it's hard to come across good friendships. Even hard to maintain them. And when i say maintain, I mean from both sides as some of the people I considered friends would go out last moment & cancel on me. I'm still struggling to find out who're my real ones
Yeah .. I am seeing more awareness in your generation. Take it as a millennial - most people were shallow and toxic and this is before social media. Of course, social media spread narcissism but I think your age range is becoming aware of that now (hence this video)!
@@devashrijoshi9079 exactly my problem
Now at 30, I actually enjoy being alone most of the time and wish I was much more selective when I was younger. Most of the people I tried to socialize with back then were just a waste of time. Its really about having the right people in your life, not how many or how much time you spend with them.
bro no generation is lost and it's never gonna exist a generation like that, every single generation has this shit ffs
You are spot on. I hung out loosely with a group of toxic people who would abuse substances just so they could feel something when they went out. Even as they were drinking or dancing in a bar or club, I would see their mask slip. Sometimes they would retreat to the corner of our table and would hunch over their phones because they were completely disengaged. I used to be friends with this one really terrible person and she threw a birthday party at their apartment. She invited a bunch of people she didn't know and got piss drunk. When people started coming in she made a comment to me that was like "ugh let's get away from these people" and retreated to the roof. I'm no longer friends with any of them and have completely cut off contact with them as well. Now I am very selective of the people I invite into my life and have high quality friendships with a few friends.
So did she change for better in that moment? How was she terrible? Im sorry im confused.
@@Artsu1993 She invited a bunch of people that either she didn't know well or she didn't like for her birthday party that she didn't end up enjoying because all she did was get drunk and retreat to the roof to get away from the people she invited. She threw a big party but she wasn't having fun. She ended up passed out on a lawn chair on the roof.
well said and well done
@@joodsterrshe definitely isn't that bad just a confused girl
@@elcucuy1770 No, she did other things that eventually caused the entire friend group to cut ties with her. They tried confronting her on the harm she caused but she never owned up to what she did.
Reece...
I've been so dishearted because I was certain there was no one else who felt this way about our generation. The faux fun, the the lack of connection with others, and most importantly, the absolute, self-involved vanity that is a hubris. It's becoming so much more common now with social media than it was probably twenty years ago. Consequently, I can't tell you how many times I've genuinely tried to reach out amongst my peers, only to be left alone like I don't even matter. Whether at work, school, or somewhere else, it didn't feel like anyone wanted a genuine, healthy friendship/relationship. As sad as it is to be able to, I'm glad I found another person in this world who can relate to that same experience I did.
It's heartbreaking...
But watching your video has enlightened me that us pure people still exist. Not everyone has caved to the toxicity of hookup culture. I hope that Gen Z wakes up from the endless charade of "me me me." As my dad tells me, "you have two ears and one mouth. Use them proportionately."
Thank you for sharing more positive thoughts with us, and please continue being the person you are! Life will reward you for it.
Im 36 so I was a teenager about when social media was becoming a big thing. Let me assure you it was exactly the same 20 years ago. Exactly.
i can tell from this comment that the reason you dont have friends is because of your terrible personality
Read your bible! (KJV, preferably) ♥ . . ..
My generation was like that too. I think it is human nature. I am glad there are more interesting things we an do now on offer and some of it is free too
People have always been phony social media just brings it to light to get noticed
They love talking about other people because they have nothing actually going on in their life.
its so nice seeing a gen z person talking about this.
hey dude, tbh i had just recently had a falling out with someone who i thought was my closest friend last week and that’s when i watched your video on social media and quit it. honestly i want to thank you for making that video and for everything. i do still watch youtube videos but usually have them in the background while i work on the stuff i want to do, like working on making a video for my main youtube channel, trying to get better at art, trying to get better at guitar because i want to become an artist and change the world and because of your advice i feel like i can finally fulfill that dream. ty dude, keep doing what you do because i love it. i no longer look at my phone first thing in the morning and rather just journal and meditate then get to my stuff, it feels refreshing and i again want to thank you for that. have a good one.
this dude literally changed my whole perspective on my friendships and my literal perspective on life. you made me realize that half of my friends base their other friendships on gossip and they don't have real bonds. this advice is probably the most useful advice I've heard in a while. thank you so much bro.
Wow, you are so wise and level-headed especially for your age. What you're describing has been my situation for most of my life because I'm more of an introvert. I've always been perplexed as to why not very nice people seem to have more of a social life and had more friends than I, and I consider myself to be a kind person. I want you to know you are helping so many people right now. If I were anywhere near you I'd love to be your friend.
I feel this sense of foreboding loneliness, but in more of a romantic context. I feel FOMO when it comes to relationships, after having been single for over 4 years now after my breakup with my boyfriend. It doesn't help that I also don't engage in hookup culture, so I've also remained untouched for over 4 years. Meanwhile, a toxic "friend" that I have is bragging constantly on her social media about how happy she is being in a relationship with a guy that she happened to steal from another woman, when they were married together 😐. It gets upsetting seeing myself, who I consider to be a good person, remain single and alone meanwhile that "friend" has literally homewrecked a whole marriage and she is happy as ever having a man by her side and not having any loneliness.
yikes
But you don't know if she is really happy or not with her life tho. After all ppl only brag good things on social media. Behind that? It could be different
Stop comparing yourself
Believe me you wouldn't want a life like her, no need to envy those who you don't want to be
@@highsez934 It's not her that I envy, it's the fact that she's able to have someone by her side despite being an absolutely detestable person.
I love this kind of content where young people just reflect and talk about important topics. The scenery is beautiful too.
This shit hits so hard. When you’ve slowly lost every single “friendship” you’ve ever had. And you’re looking around slightly confused, slightly hurt but like also trying to build yourself up again. But sometimes it’s hard. Videos like this really puts things into perspective.
Did they all just end up ghosting you for no reason like they did to me time and time again?
@@ihatelife486 well kind of. More so. Like. When ever I try to have conversations they just aren’t interested. They either don’t reply or give a dry response. It’s like a Slow burn ghost. Not immediate. It’s actually kind of traumatizing because you can feel the friendship dying. And part of you wants to fight so hard for it but the other half knows it’s time to let them go. But’s it’s hard. I’m a senior in highschool and I know our Time is up but it didn’t have to be THIS way. But it’s a choice they made so I just gotta deal with it I guess
@@daisydiddle7316don't worry about it. I have been ditched like that too. Just know these people are not worth your worries. It is painful at first, but you need to move on, life will get better from there with time! You will make new acquaintances, make new friends and maybe, just maybe find your romantical partner. Cheer up, it'll be fine!
The reason I feel like a I don’t belong in a group, and why I have more individual friends than friend groups, may be because when people come together in groups, they tend to be a lot more superficial in how they talk and behave. The content of conversations goes away from the true individual thoughts of the person talking, to more of the ‘fun’ filtered thoughts of the person talking in the group setting. So you don’t feel like you’re getting a complete picture of the person’s life, as compared to if you were just talking to them individually. Then again, hanging out with people exclusively individually can lead to more of those deep conversations that make you think too much, so having a balance is necessary
This whole video is so relatable, I’m currently in a change healing from an ex best friend bc of betrayal and I’m trying so hard to just not go back and be this bad toxic and gossiping person I used to be around them, and it’s so difficult. Like you said, gossiping is an addiction and it’s so hard to distance ourselves from gossiping people and stay safe from them bc it’s all around us now. I decided to put higher boundaries and be grateful for my true friends and I’m more picky with who I want around me and I’m honestly so much happier with no drama and real connections in my life. Even with the anxiety that the bad gossiping people I used to be friends with may gossip about me right now I couldn’t care less, their version of happiness and satisfaction will never match up with mine therefore I will be fine bc I would never be jealous of smth like that. I want to encourage everyone to pls stay away from gossipers as much as you can and never tell anything to a person who gossips to you, bc someone who gossips to you will gossip about you too, stay safe :)
bro we are all gratefull for having someone like you to give us advice and to be honest without you i wouldn't have known any of the stuff and advice you give us. thank you bro, you changed my perspective on life.
my pleasure man
I had a really sweet friend some time back. She was always really popular and had a lot of people by her side. She loved to party and have a good time but she enjoyed spending time with me doing "boring" things (heart to heart conversations, Reading etc.) because she knew I liked that. We ended up drifting apart after some time but I got to meet her again and hang out with her.
later on, At the end of the night she ended up confiding in me about how depressed she has been. She told me that she had a lot of friends who would come have fun with her and party whenever she wanted but she didn't even have one person to talk to about her feelings, Not even one person who she felt truly cared for her wellbeing. She told me how she feels so alone and how I am the first person she is confessing about this to. It broke my heart.
I have had a lot of popular friends throughout the years and they have all told me roughly the same things that's why I never felt sad for having a small group of close friends who truly cared for me. Love what you have guys, You don't know how lucky you are to be surrounded by people who love and support you from their heart, Even if they are a few.
Everyone likes to be alone sometimes, so much less drama that way. At the same time no one wants to be alone all the time, as humans we're are social animals where no man is an island. All you need is about 3 close friends who hang with you and build you up and talk to you and are honest when your slacking and not living up to your true self. If you felt the emotions of all these people you think are having so much fun and are doing so much better off than you, you'll find out they're just as, if not more miserable than you are.
as the saying goes "birds of a feather flock together" toxic people can sniff out who is the same as them and who isn't
and in both cases they just use other people for their own self-interests, they use other toxic people for connections and they use kind people to suck their energy, time and empathy
Exactly
You are wiser and smarter than some people twice your age. Totally agree with you on this topic! Some people are okay with superficial friends to smoke and drink with, who come and go. It's not the life i want to live. I choose quality over quantity. 😊
You seem to perfectly execute the phrase: "I have no enemies"
(that's a compliment btw i adore anyone who is able to be like that)
No enemies means you have no friends
@@escapefr0mslender no it doesn't, someone not being your enemy isn't supposed to mean that they are your friend or neutral. It just means that you don't hate them
Bro you are one of those guys that I feel so connected with. The things you say are with a 100% pin point accuracy relatable and exactly what i am experiencing in my daily life. Keep you work up, you are motivating people and giving them a better life!
Your video came up in my home page. I very rarely comment but bro. If you’re reading this…
I’ve felt the same way and moved on. Your video was stuff I discovered myself just like you. It’s almost like a confirmation i’m onto a better chapter in my life and I’m excited for it.
Thanks for having the balls to be authentic and tell your truth bro.
A lot of us hear and feel your words because we loved them as well.
Dope ass vid… I’ll probably never watch your videos again, but this is what youtube should be. Authentic and real.
being a loner and has tried going out wanting to be friends with those people that have huge groups always doing something. i feel so seen in this video. i used to think my mom was lame for having one friend (a longtime childhood friend) she said I'd understand when im older. now im in my 20s have those friends i know will be around for years and i completely get it. after have a deep conversation about our friendship yesterday and this video i have new perspective on life and my friendship. im glad i found your channel ❤
This video really spoke to me. I can relate with everything you've said as a fellow loner and I am grateful for the few people I can truly call my friends.
Those toxic people troll you for not having a lot of friends 😢.
I relate to this so much, please don’t ever stop making videos dude, you are changing lives!
no plans to stop :) thank you
The real question is, how do so many toxic, manipulative people find partners? Like they literally have husbands and wives meaning someone loves them so much they’re willing to spend their entire life with them. That’s fucking insane
There’s specific toxic traits that guys/girls like. They don’t even know it sometimes.
@@jingleballs9935 ^^ never thought about this but it's true
loneliness 🤷♀️
@@jingleballs9935 example?
@@siennajayden well yeah but you still need to find someone who is willing to put up with you if you’re a toxic person. If anything, if you’re toxic, dating should be hard for you because no one wants to be around toxic people.
Omgosh!! This is exactly how I feel!! Thank u for speaking the truth boldly. Always wish ppl would DARE to disengage from clicks in office, even if it means having to be alone during lunch and break time. But no one dares. One guy likes reading a book instead of having to sit in the long lunch break with his coworkers looking at their playing their phones and talking rubbish that doesn’t edify him. When he was called all sorts of names because of reading a book, rather than doing what the rest does, he stopped doing what he like just to fit in. I really really DONT understand WHY ppl have no guts to stand alone (even if ppl calls them outcast / loner). Because do their opinion even matter?! Really detest the “fit in” culture.
bro got therapeutic vibes
seriously dude you gotta be a therapist or something in that matter.
listening to your words are like pure therapy
it’s really cool to see so many people with such similar values about this stuff. gossiping really makes you feel empty and ruins more relationships than build them up. the people you can have deep conversations with are so much more valuable (in my opinion).
I used to have alot of friends. Most of em left. The ones that left are the ones that arn´t real. It´s safe to say that I prefer a smaller friend group. I actually got more of my goals done more efficiently. Also most importantly when they left God became my real number one best friend. Its gonna stay that way.
Man everything you said is so relatable, I’ve literally gone thro all this and came to same conclusion. The many times i tried to be friends with the popular in any way but at the same time neither any of us get closer and i am losing my real friends, it felt horrible and i felt horrible tbh distancing myself from my real friends who i actually love just for some validation from the popular kids. I never understood what was there that stopped me from getting closer to them, what’s the wall, even if they are not toxic, but its just we are sooo different, and i saw this many times but denied it, the amount of times i sit with them and try to have a conversation back with them but i just cant, we were so freaking different i couldnt get what they were saying or what theyre up to or whatever or even have the same interests they have. That all with the fear of losing my real friends left alone because i try to invest more of my time with the popular kids, i actually hated myself. But because they are real homies (im so grateful to have them) they never left me, I eventually and finally admitted that true happiness comes within company not only with the friends you love, but who love u back. I spent days trying to fit in and get back home freaking depressed because of the constant failure i face, but the days i just didnt care and spent times with my real friends,i swear i was the happiest, even if they were seen as the “lame” people. Being happy with the lame people is cool within itself, we are all different and eventually we gonna be left alone anyway, so choose wisely and dont spend ur time seeking for validation that never comes and lose ur real homies. Im now the happiest i am in my social life within my small circle. But its very important to not make it ur comfort zone, go out and build more real friends and communicate with others and hangout.
Lame people, more like real people. Be real not cool!
You know, thank you so fucking much for this, it's the most down to earth and just, real media I've seen this year. I went through this exact thinking pattern for 2 years (21 and 22) and I didn't have anyone I could, really talk to anyone about since my 'friends' were those as you described 'dap me up' kind of people that didn't, to me, have much capability to talk about deep stuff. After that though, later in 2022, I found a very special group of friends that were actually genuine and respectful of my boundaries and prospects, this year was our graduating year though and it was very emotional to me after all the shenanigans, funnies, and events we went to..as a family. I only speak to one of them now, and they are the best friend I've ever had so far. All my other friends went and split up into different schools and I hope one day, we can sit up, catch up, and have a laugh again. Thanks for this video man, I wish we could talk irl because you are a very rare type of person (in a good way!) I think you'll go a long way, thanks.
my pleasure man
fab
I used to be in a situation like this the only friend group I had was one that was insanely toxic, controlled by one person who would constantly talk smack about other people their life and us behind our back but they would always end up being invited to parties etc. It made me feel so alone and crazy like I was the problem and that people are just like that. Then I went to an art school, originally I was going to take a gap year to focus on my mental health and how much that person destroyed it but im glad I was forced to go to college. It put me in a situation where I had to be around people who had similar interests to me and loved what they were doing.
I'm so lucky that I've been able to meet so many amazing people who are genuinely passionate about art and their interests and don't berade and belittle other people for it or shit talk each other or only care about status and popularity. It's refreshing. But it also terrify's me, there's so many things I internalised that where toxic that I didn't even realise till I was in a healthy environment so now im scared of everything ending and things going back to the way they were. I guess what im trying to say is that it's chliche but it does exist, you are capable of finding people that can be positive influences on your life but it's scary and you really have to put yourself out there and have faith.
It’s also ok if you want to be alone or have 1-2 friends that you can be close with. I’m still learning how to be more comfortable with being on my own. But if you do want to have a big group of people I recommend joining clubs it's kinda hard depending on where you live but sometimes it turns out that there's actually a lot you can do in your city if you know where to look. (I live in WA Perth which is this tiny ass city in the middle of nowhere with barely any activities but there's actually a lot of debate clubs, lgbtq groups, art nights, small music festivals, cons, it's just a lot more local and smaller than bigger cities but it's an opportunity to be apart of something you love and meet people that way, which hopefully isn't too draining if your introverted.)
Holy shit I was just reading the comments, I see you namedrop Perth, lmao I think I know exactly the club you're talking about. It's a really good group and bought me out of my shell as well ^^ like lowkey actually life-changing, damn it's such a small world
wow i also live in perth lol
I was Halfway off of social media before i found your page and now I’ve deleted everything and I feel like a new woman. Im so much more present and happier. Thank you Reece for putting this out there for whoever finds it. You’re awesome
You are more awesome ✨
you should make a discord server for the community, i feel like every single person who watches this channel will be wholesome in nature and will be able to relate to eachother so it’d be cool talking with others similar in mindset!!
I think he does! In the section part that says “ about “ it should show a link to his discord :)
@@tammyyy.trann03 he does yea
Imagine if we could all chat to each other in one big video call.
finally videos for people like us
It makes it a lot easier to cope when you’re not on social media :P
It’s ironic how ostracised we would be to the community around us if we didn’t have to subdue our authentic selves but the people who think like us are out there but are scattered all over the globe. This is why financial abundance and escaping the rat race is essential, that’s the key to finding those people. Be grateful you’re lonely now, you’re less likely to follow the crowd and your future self will reap the rewards if you fulfil your potential now (but you can also mess this up, it’s your choice).
what most of us dont realize is that in reality most of your "friends" are not your friends. Our human nature is to be social, thats why we think the one with most atention, affection and friends is happier but in reality all of that is most BS. Stop caring about getting friends and try to be closer and real to yourself and then you will probably finally find someone that actually is a real friend. I remember so many parties being with girls or boys etc. And most of them where in their phones scrolling. Im 18. I feel that my generation, youngers and olders, are being more and more fake, more plastic. Im the common "funny" guy but in reality im lonely. I use my carism to be funny so I feel closer but in reality I dont feel a connection with most of my "friends"
Don't change your basic essence and being. Keep this core of who you are. It's awesome like one of those 1980's 🎥 movies you speak of! I felt like this at age 15 and I still do today as a sprouted tree 🎄 a little older...a little wiser like an owl. My grandma had a saying: TRUE FRIENDS ARE LIKE DIAMONDS, 🔹 PRECIOUS BUT RARE. FALSE FRIENDS ARE LIKE SCATTERED LEAVES 🍃 FOUND EVERYWHERE.
I've kinda realized this myself over time, but I'm glad to hear it from someone else. Some people are just either not sociable or not compatible with me, admittedly I lack social skills as well, but I've tried and narrowed down my friend group to select few and stuck with it. For years I thought it was all just excuses, and I still think it is a little bit, but again, glad to hear someone else like me. It gets a lot better after you graduate, you're no longer forced to hang around with the people you don't like.
Don’t worry about fitting in with others because you’re not meant to fit in with them. You’re here to make a better world a better society, so don’t try to fit in with this one make a better one.
I completely agree with everything you said! Thank you for reminding me that having even one real friend is so much better than having 20 fake/toxic/not close ones. Have a great day/night!
As I approach 30 Ive realized that often times staying at home and relaxing is more fun than going out, feel zero shame about being a homebody its perfectly natural. Not saying its good to have absolutely zero friends (it isn't) or never go out ever, but strike a healthy balance. Go out and do stuff when you want to, not because you think you have to.
Thanks, for making this video Reece. These days I've been feeling really bad about myself cuz nobody seems to want to befriend me. I'm introverted, but i started approaching people cuz i believed my lack of friends was cuz i rarely initiate conversations. Still, my efforts didnt change anything. People are polite to me, and so am i to them and I've made very good aquaintances, but none of them seem to want to be friends. And my friends that i already have dont really care about me, they only hit me up when they are bored or need help. I thought something was wrong with me. But your video made me feel better.
It’s so annoying when you’re trying so hard to be friend with someone and they just act uninterested.
Ikr! When I deal w that kind of ppl I go up to them only 2 times and if they r not interested i just stop. Dw tho, you will find ppl who r right for you!
@@mintyh yeah and sometimes I’ve noticed that it’s not even personal at all it’s just a circumstance stuff ! One of my friends actually rejected me for two years ( yes ) cuz I’ve met her online and she just happened to never see my comments and messages but two years after I started, she actually saw them and even apologized for ghosting me for so long ah ah. So yeah, I would recommend not to always give up but not being too attached to the outcome.
Let's be friends)
Completly agree!! We shouldn't get too attached to the outcome!
pov: this got recommended to you and its relatable
I love the fact that you recorded this in nature instead of a room
You’ve got really great insight. As you grow up, you’ll see more that people genuinely do not know how to be alone. I am really extroverted and used to rely on being out all day with friends and wanting that company. Until I realized that I really just hated being alone. But that’s a skill you’re going to need in life. I proud of you for figuring this out at your age. Although I do have to say this - all friendships are worth kindling. No one is going to be there more for you than those group of people you know you can go to when you go through a breakup, have a hard day, need someone to cry to, have good news, etc. Keep yourself open to opportunities but keep this skill to your heart because you’ll just be more grounded than the majority who go home and don’t know what to do with themselves. Best of luck!!
Wow this was great! A lot of what you mentioned is biblical principle as well I’m not sure if you’re a Christian but it definitely aligns with the type of lifestyle the Lord wants for us as well! Love it
Idk I'm not a Christian but some of these principles are in Hinduism too. Kinda
Probably not since he cursed a couple times in the video but then again, Christians themselves aren’t perfect.
I’m 16 and going to be in the junior year by next month. I’ve reflected on this sophomore year and realized these toxic people are always put on the pedestal. I use to be jealous on how they would hang out with each other and it seemed like they got along. But in reality, they all talk bad about each other and are disconnected yet they don’t want to let each other ago. It’s this idea where being alone is “embarrassing.” During the freshmen year, I had little to no friends at all because I ended up cutting everyone off to protect my peace , I do not behave in degrading people, and they were continuously on their phones just refreshing just to scroll. This step was being open to better friendship by releasing who doesn’t align with my boundaries. During my sophomore year, I met one of the greatest people alive who was once my DREAM bestfriend.
This dude is literally speaking directly too me right now. Thanks for this and helping others
I never thought I'd find anyone that's just like me 😭 the way you speak is like my reasoning inside voice and you play guitar too :) I luv you, and thanks for the amazing video!
Social validation has always been a trouble for me in the past months, along side jealousy and as a Christian i should know that love comes from the most high and yet i still have that trouble.
This video brought so much value in my life. Thanks reece👍
this video was much needed,, ive always been isolated from those around me as they always use substance as their ideal for “fun.” there’s nothing inherently wrong with that,, there’s just differences. you feel lonely as you don’t want to partake in that as that isn’t your idea of fun,, you worded that perfectly,, your videos truly make me feel less alone. im so grateful i found your channel!! :)
I think i can have friends with same mindset as mine, the thing is species like us are endangered! Thank you bro... 💫
a lot of people just want friends to feel superior to someone. a lot of people stay friends with toxic people because they're "beautiful" or rich
I’m at peace when I’m alone. Proven time and time again. They can keep the clout and toxicity.
I felt so alone and insane for thinking the way I did. Thank you for giving me hope going into sophomore year of high school. You truly mean a lot to me
You somehow managed to read my mind and make me feel validated for the insecurities that have been building inside of me. Thank you!!❤️
This video absolutely hits hard and I love that
I’ve always been in friendships that weren’t entirely the best, since elementary school, I was hanging around friends that either used me or insulted me and I always thought that was just the norm. I didn’t like it but it was that I was used to. But yeah, I would see all these shows of how friendship was “supposed” to be but I thought it was just exaggerated and maybe things were different in the real world. I’m not gonna pretend I didn’t also engage with the toxicity, over time, you’re with toxic people so much, you develop their mindset because you think it’s normal. I felt really guilty all the time but I was always reassured that it was fine. Talking behind backs and insulting others like it was okay, but it wasn’t. I didn’t like it at all but it was so normalized. I didn’t know how to get out of these friendships. I was afraid to because I was worried for myself if I left, like if they said things about me, or told everyone my secrets, my family stuff, stuff I’m ashamed of that I did in the past, etc
I never thought I’d ever find actual friends that weren’t like the kind I’ve had for so long
I’m 22 and again, since elementary school, that’s the kind of people I’ve been around all the time
People that didn’t seem to have my best interest at heart
And of course, obviously the kind that would hangout but just be on their phones texting their friends almost the entire time. Or at least, it felt like it. It wasn’t fun. It just felt like existing together.
I ended up making some new friends who genuinely love me and care about me
They take the time to show that they care and respect me as a person
They don’t get upset when or if I have any issues
We communicate when there’s a problem
It’s just
A regular friendship
And there have been moments where I’m terrified of things I shouldn’t be, because I’m not used to it
They’re amazing and I seriously don’t know where I’d be right now without them
Real friends do exist and it took me literal years to realize that
Thank you for this video, it’s deep and it’s true
It’s unfortunate but it’s honest
You're v wise!
Gossip is an indication of emotional immaturity and also passive aggressiveness. If they do it to other people they'll do it to you too. And lot's and lot's of
"friends" is an indication of bad judgment skills. And so many people around you schoolmates, classmates, neighbours, coworkers don't really care about you, they just talk to you bc you're there. Also people who gossip about others all the time don't know how to build genuine connections and bonds with other people, so they bond on who they dislike and turning other people against them and most people don't actually care about you to check in with you to say "so and so is saying this about you, is it true?"
So keeping a small grp of friends who align with your values, morals and are values driven rather than self-interest driven is the way to go.
I am 63yrs old. And always was a loner. I love people and talking with people but I don't get involved. My best friend is my 18yr old grandson. KEEGAN. And we have the perfect friendship. I would never let him down. And I know I'm a very special grandmother to him.
I never felt so understood than with your and Saige Page videos, you two guys get me so well 😢❤
Wish you both better relationships than those toxic ones that are pure "smoke" than actual connections, i get how lonely one feels surrounded by them.
A few months ago I was the same as my classmates, we never had anything to talk about unless we started to talk shit about someone. When I started my spiritual journey mid April I realized what my beliefs are, started to love myself more (still going, healing is very hard and it goes up and down for me a lot). That's when I realized that when I stopped gossiping with them, they stopped hanging out with me or didn't have any real conversation with me as a whole group. I still like them as separate people but once they get together it's insane, especially once you find out that they gossip even about their closest friends, including me back then. I realized that most of them are very insecure people and it makes them feel good to put others down. I found a different girl in my class who heals my feminine energy now and sure I do sometimes feel bad that I am no longer with them, that I won't be as cool as them now but I always remember the pain and insecurity I went through when I was with them.
Im starting high school soon, and all of your videos are giving me tips of how to build better friendships and how to be a better person. Thank you for taking your time to make these videos.
thank you for watching, best of luck! =)
you’re going to do so great in highschool with all this knowledge!!! i’m going into my junior year and i don’t regret any of my past yet i can only imagine how much you will progress knowing all of these things or not having social media while you go through these next four years. best of luck!!
never ever forget about daniels..wished he appears on my youtube a lot sooner like u lol
hey i’m going to high school too! we’re gonna get through this together! :)
This was very wise. If only I could’ve had this advice 7 years ago, I’d have saved myself from an immense amount of paranoia.
Thank you so much for this video. I‘m currently going through a phase of loneliness because I had to cut off most people. I don’t regret it, it was for the best and I’m happier like this. But before new friends, real ones can come in…I compare myself. This opened my eyes, thank you ❤! You seem like an amazing human.