I'm NEVER gonna have pretty privilege: My Response to Oh!Stephco's Pretty Privilege Video
Вставка
- Опубліковано 1 сер 2021
- Pretty privilege and feminine energy: buzzwords of 2021 according to Tiktok? I weigh in my own response to Oh!Stephco's video on pretty privilege, dating as a black woman in LA and the topic of mental health and not fitting society's standards of beauty. I have tried to be open, and give my honest reaction to her video and share my experiences dating as a black woman in her thirties.
Watch the original video here: • Video
#mentalhealthawareness #dating
Find me also on
===============================
📸 - Instagram: / drkayexplains
👥 - Facebook: / drkayexplains
🐦 - Twitter: / drkayexplains
Thanks for your support, either with a comment or with thumbs up- it helps me a lot!
Lots of love
Dr Kay
===============================
Music by Remil - Evening Tea - thmatc.co/?l=71E42D04
Disclaimer: This video is not intended to provide any diagnosis, treatment or medical advice. Content provided on this UA-cam channel is for informational purposes only. Please consult with a physician or other healthcare professional regarding any medical or health related diagnosis or treatment options. Information on this UA-cam channel should not be considered as a substitute for advice from a healthcare professional. The statements made about specific products throughout this video are not to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent disease.
I was looking up something totally different and I came across my own face and I will NEVER get over that!!!! One thing I do want to say though (and I mentioned this in the video in a footnote on the side of my face as I was talking) is that I did not feel comfortable hanging out with my more conventionally attractive friends when I was younger…but that’s not my issue anymore. And it wasn’t so much about competition it was about feeling completely invalidated and invisible. I mentioned being stepped on, knocked out of the way, interrupted and ignored by people trying to talk to my more conventionally attractive friends. That’s a traumatizing experience especially when as a young woman you are still defining yourself according to your social experiences Anyway, thank you for your perspective and your analysis. I agreed and am grateful for it all (except maybe that last part lol) Thank you!
I definitely understand, I experienced the same as you said in your video on your birthday.. it kinda hurt me. I always thought I was beautiful but I noticed other ppl didn’t ( not all of course) because I have “African” features like my big lips.. I noticed that other BLK women are deemed as more beautiful when they have more “Eurocentric” features like the small nose, lips etc.. I’ve been single for 5 years I just turned 29 on the 9th of July and that day made me realize I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life.. I have confidence and self esteem but as I said I still notice how ppl treat me, I always have. Especially in the BLK community where lighter is better no matter how it looks. I’m tired of having to prove myself through my intellect.. I’m tired of being lonely but the way the men are these days I feel like I might have to be because I cannot settle for less just because someone feels like I’m not the “Instagram type of pretty”. They act like you don’t notice how different they treat you from certain other women. I started noticing when I was in ELEMENTARY..
Hey Stephanie, thanks for making the time to comment😊. I really also resonated with your video and thought many of the things you mentioned were completely valid, and to me the reactions you displayed were rational given the experiences and situations you described.
With regards to your comment about the friendship issue and being out with these friends, I think it is important to distinguish the reasons for feeling how you feel (and I'm saying this generally, rather than specifically about you). If it is to do with wanting to protect your mental and emotional energy, I can see the reasoning behind that. However very often in female friendships, there can be this *unspoken* issue around competition that is present which is sad to witness and has lead to a death of many friendships.
I totally appreciate that the nuances can be missed when talking about these type of topics, but I appreciated you being open, vulnerable and having these conversations and the fact your video has "gone viral" clearly shows that these conversations and feelings are not an isolated event.
Hey Precious, first of all I loved reading that despite what the world is trying to tell you about you, you are refusing that label and still see yourself as being beautiful. Please do not let anyone convince you otherwise (and I'm saying this as an older woman 😉)
Do not feel you have to prove, or fight or try to get people to see the value in you. Just be you.
@@DrKayExplains Plus their is sometimes a self image component in being considered in looking a certain way. She is attractive though.
@@precioussmith1222 we share the Same Birthday Love 💕 I Hope you feel a but better I definitely feel your pain sis
People saying she can improve her dating prospects by leveling up her looks are proving her point. Usually that means doing things to be considered more “conventionally beautiful”. That just continues the cycle of people viewing unconventionally beautiful people as invisible.
Nice observation, while they believe they are arguing the point they are actually proving it.
THANK YOU!!
That’s the way things are. Women don’t want unattractive men either.
@@Adhara740 lol women don’t mind dating “unattractive” men as long as they can provide and/or they have power. But for women, beauty is currency.
@@WilliamsPinch not the 90s anymore they will clown that ugly dude in secret and will want a better looking man most of the time
I’m average without makeup, pretty with makeup and pretty privilege is 100% real. The before and after treatment is staggering.
Yup. It's eye-opening.
I’ve noted the way I was treated when I wore wigs and makeup to work vs. when I was plain and wore my natural hair, and some of the “positive”attention was borderline creepy. It made me want to come to work plain EVERY DAY after that. What’s worse is the change in others’ behavior towards me was from the same people who saw me with both appearances.
I so much agree. When I don't wear makeup, a lot of times, men treat me badly -- as if they're trying to get away from me. When I wear primer and mascara, however, I have to fight them off.
No offense but in that case, you're not pretty! But most people are not pretty! Most people have sex appeal. Anyone can have sex appeal! So this discussion about "pretty privilege" is really "sexual privilege".
Pretty privilege exists and I experienced rude ass behavior from men. I was in the store with my more attractive and shapely good friend. We were in a clothing store shopping but we were also having a conversation. While I was talking to my friend this guy walks up to my friend, didn’t say excuse me or nothing, he didn’t look my way and he just introduced himself to my friend cut me straight off and kept talking to her like I was not worth acknowledging. So I interrupted his rude ass and told my friend let’s go u don’t want to talk to ignorant niccas with no manners anyway. That’s when he acknowledged me and attempted to say something but we walked away left him standing there. That was so rude and I must admit my feelings were hurt for a bit. Even if you don’t find someone attractive you don’t have to be a rude ass and treat them like they are the scum of the earth what is wrong with people like that! We are all human beings it does not cost anything to be respectful!
That was well played of you Mimi. I'm so proud you had the courage to call out the rude behaviour and your friend also didn't go along with it either.
I've seen this happen and know exactly what you're talking about and it's rude and entitled behaviour. Pure and simple. I take note of any man behaving that way of only being nice or extending basic courtesy towards people they *only* find attractive.
PSA: if you're a guy and you do this, you need to stop. It's immature and negative value behaviour.
@@DrKayExplains Exactly and thank you!
In his defence, in that kind of situation a man doesn’t see anything else but the woman he’s after. You should have stayed in your lane instead of getting in your feelings.
@@earlem9771 you should go somwhere, where men are present instead of being in a woman space. Don't you have any shame ?. Go away.
@@purplelove3666 this subject wouldn’t exist without men
She’s not wrong at all for how she feels and expressing her trauma. Pretty privilege is indeed real. And when she spoke on not going out to public places with aesthetically beautiful female friends, her explanation is sound. She does not want to be reminded of how society views her as average. Simple.
But she is average, and it's nothing wrong with being average
@@Chrisatrucker Reread my comment for better understanding.
@@reignofjay I did read it. And the whole thing is rooted in pride. Why do somebody want to be treated like someone else who is pretty instead of accepting that you'll never be pretty and accepting your place in the world? It's not that serious, pretty girls will forever be at the top because being pretty is a blessing and a gift. That's the epitome of being a woman, is how she looks. If she's ugly she's a failed woman, just like a short broke man. He's basically useless and can't expect any special treatment and no one feels sorry for that guy. But a basic chick who's feels some type of way because she isn't beautiful is crazy to me.
@@Chrisatrucker because she literally getting treated bad??? Who wants to constantly get reminded that there not “important “ all the time
@@Chrisatrucker your username says all we need to know. No one needs to put themselves in situations that retraunatises them like be for real lol
Just bc you want to avoid situations where you’re constantly reminded that you aren’t as attractive as your friends doesn’t mean you are in “competition” or you’re “wrong” for protecting your peace of mind. I rather go bowling with friends than the club. And that’s my way of protecting myself.
Exactly.
I'm scared to go to the club and have never been there at 23 😂 Its okay
I got bullied at work by women because I am beautiful but most importantly because I put in the effort these women didn't put in any effort into there looks they felt that natural beauty means no makeup or any type of effort so men treated me better which was an issue to them most women who don't find themselves beautiful though not all are actually bullies and project there insecurity on women who put the effort in themselves I don't get such bad treatment around beautiful women I only get it from women who complain about not being pretty
Most of these videos I come across they never talk about the real issue. Yes, it’s hard to date and make friends but the REAL issue is not getting respect. If i’m not your type or you don’t want to be my friend because of my looks, then that’s fine but you’re not going to disrespect just because of the way I look instead of getting to know me. Getting ignored and people not communicating/listening to you is thee most annoying thing ever. A person can talk to you and walk away and talk to someone else. They can be cruel to you for no reason and that’s not okay! I know at some age this affects older people when they’re ready to settle down but my issue is really just respect and not getting mistreated because you look a certain way.
That's so true. Pretty people are treated better out in public than unattractive people. I know because I go both ways between having the privilege when I fix myself up and to being ignored when I go out looking like a bum.
This is so true. It's one thing to recognise that not everyone finds you attractive, but it's something else to be rendered invisible..
Yes I’ve also witnessed guys make sure they acknowledge the friend and be respectful in hopes of continuing to talk to the girl they like
I think people shouldn’t accept kindness as flirting too though
And I think once this conversation can get to talking about respect and acknowledgement, we can bring in ableism and ageism
I think pretty privilege also has to do with sex apeal. Women that are curvy in the right places tend to get attention as well, even if they're average looking.
This is very good. As a person with disability I get the most horrendous side of pretty privilege to the extent some people don't even see me as human or adult (among people that will fight me to the death in defense of their goodness) and it's just so tiring.
People can be cruel and entitled. It's a shame we do treat people just based on how they look 😓
I don't have a visible disability but I definitely relate to what's in the brackets. People will be horrible to me when I'm struggling with my disorder but once they find out about my disorder they treat me like I'm their baby. So frustrating
Damn I’m sorry ma 🙌🏿😞
I’m sorry, you don’t deserve that. Clearly the real disability lies within people who can’t show love, compassion and respect to others.
Yours is a different case, people who are rude to you are being jerks. And they should be called out on it.
*Pretty privilege is a touchy subject because, no one wants to feel inadequate over things they can’t control. I was a late bloomer so I’ve experienced both sides, went from ppl ignoring me to , no matter where I go someone has to talk to me or tell me I’m beautiful no matter the race/gender.*
This happened to me! But it wasn’t the late blooming of boobs/butt that got attention. It was more that everyone around me aged quicker but my face ages more slowly.
Also, from a young age I’ve always had a quirky/unique style and it really got people talking.
Whew, I relate as a late bloomer for sure. And while I don’t get compliments 24/7, I notice the difference in the amount of attention I draw as a grown woman. It’s definitely new and a bit strange.
You dont have pretty privilege tho. Be fr
@@JasonNash-do3oz Anonymous account with no photos of themself telling others that they don’t have pretty privilege.. sounds about right
Heard the saying ‘man’s rejection is Gods protection’ 100% - be thankful for the rejection as it often means you dodged a bullet.
Pretty privilege is real and beauty is currency. Simply losing weight & leveling-up one's look isn't going to automatically increase a woman's currency. Prettiness is also informed by color privilege (lighter vs. darker), and economic privilege (resourced vs. under-resourced). Focusing on being the object of another person's desire is dependent on what society says is conventionally attractive, then choosing to use one's money & time to invest in the "right" kind of body, clothes, hair, makeup, and partner-attracting-activities. I've been told that I'm attractive, but I'm also the "homely friend." Rather than chase attractiveness, I recommend focusing on finding what makes us happy, which is a necessity with or without a partner.
Well said! 👏🏾👏🏾
Pretty people have always had preferential treatment in society especially in dating, it's reality we all need to deal with. I'm very plain looking & an introvert so I focused on making the most of what I had. Can't change my face so I stay in shape, dress nice & married a scientist.
Yes absolutely RuthAnne, focus on the things you can change and leave the rest ...
Amen that's all we can do is be our best.
I love that for you sis !
Listening to this experience made me think 🤔:
1- European men conquered the world and set the standards of what beauty/attractiveness should be.
2- These European men are preferred by any woman in the world.
3- These men also made their women to be preferred by any man in the world.
4- Now, every man prefers women who either meet the standard of beauty the European men set or someone close to it.
5- I ask, is there a psychological dysfunction in this view of what is considered “pretty?”
When your very gifts (melanated skin that absorbs the sun & your kinky hair which defies gravity) are
deemed ugly, are you at all at fault for not feeling pretty, or are they (the men) psychologically dysfunctional?
Simply analyzing.
Exactlyyyy exactly!!! People think self confidence will solve this issue but this issue is society, the world, and our socialization
This is exactly what I was thinking!
Well said whoever you are 👌🏾
Spot on!!
DUDE! Why the extremes? _Every_ man and _every_ woman in the whole _world_ ? 🤔
Beauty standards vary from region to region all across the world.
Is there a study on pretty privilege in regions? She was in LA, which standards of women are totally different, she doesn't fit the mold there. In my hometown she'd be considered pretty, just by the thumbnail, she has on no make up and still is attractive. Im considered a woman with pretty privilege in my hometown, but If I was in LA, it wouldn't be the same.
Where she goes doesn’t guarantee anything though
Where do you live which town hun
@@Latoya_platinumlux Buffalo Ny
@@DelayedNotDeniedit definitely helps. LA and Miami are no joke.
Pretty privilege is real people, I experienced it all my life, and sadly at the age of 37 years old I never had a boyfriend nor friends, I started a new job and it was so bold in my face, how I don’t have it, I’ve been basically invisible to my new work Colleagues, for many weeks, no one has ask ‘ what’s your name? Or ‘ who are you? Then I observe other new staff who I would say are pretty or not really but received so much attention, and welcome and am like wtf lol I then had to force conversations on staff to feel included now they speak to me, well some because I force the interaction 😩
Pretty privilege is indeed real, and it can make like that much tougher if you're not on the "winning" side. It's sad, but I hope by talking about it more openly we can make more conscious choices when being around others.
All I can say Joanne is try not to take it *too* personally, and instead focus on yourself, acknowledge and focus on all the good things about you- your spirit, creativity, any specific hobbies or talents you have, that makes you unique. Focus on finding "your people" who will appreciate you for you.
@ Joanne Faith, Whoah, that’s it right there. Reread your comment. Folks can feel, the lack confidence, self-esteem and also in how you carry yourself. Change your words and mindset. Maybe, when you go to work, start the conversation, say hello, folks may not gravitate to you, because you maybe making yourself unapproachable. Take it from me this so called “pretty” privileged girls/ women can also be alienated by others too. Even pretty women can be unapproachable too.
Awww o dont have many friends either.
idk some of you guys say you aren't pretty but really are. Most women are pretty but lack confidence. Honestly when I was in high school I got a lot of attention for my looks, but even then I was so alone, no one really bothered me at the same time & I didn't have friends, I went 4 yrs straight without talking to anyone & was a loner even tho ppl gave me compliments but that was about it. Thats all they are tho are compliments. Honestly I am not skinny nor fat, I was a size 12 in pants & wore super hero t-shirts with a sweater & cheetah platform shoes. But was still given the nickname "model". Everyone has always talked over me, ignored me, even until this day my bf says he notices that. Sometimes it's really not your looks but your presence & confidence. Yall really don't look that bad & probably ignore the compliments you do get. Or maybe you can bring out your natural sense of self through your hair & clothes. I'm telling you the difference between people who get attention & people who don't is their character. That doesnt only mean your face but your aura, energy, & your intentions of how you physical present yourself. I can feel it because I expirence both sides & I honestly know what it takes but I was just so intrtoverted & I never blamed my looks but the way I presented myself.
I always found that white colleague were welcomed, where as black new starters were expected to prove themselves first. Not always about looks
I am white. I went though an ugly phase in my early teens and later in my early 20s. I was never ugly ugly, just plain and everything I'd try to change my appearance would be a disaster. It doesn't help that I have terrible taste in clothes. Those two epochs where I was not considered a pretty girl coincided with times I was bullied and even mistreated by both boys and girls. When I became pretty by all standards, my life got so much easier. I am lucky to be nice looking without makeup (I look horrible whenever I put makeup on) and to have a thick and long hair and a slim body with curves. But I'll never forget how hard my life was when I was considered a 5. Truly gruesome. Even amongst my family who still sees me as the ugly duckling. So yeah pretty privilege is real. And it's also true for white folks in predominantly white countries.
It's really an eye opening experience when you've gone from the so called "ugly duckling" to the swan and seeing how people treat you...
@@DrKayExplains imo I can't compare people who mistreated me in my youth to the strangers who treat me nice now. They never knew me when I was ugly so how can you act jaded to them? I think you'd have to have an instance of where your bully now wants to get with you to prove this point.
People like you will have all types of friends and be truly genuine. You became well rounded from your pain.
@@showerpwner Why are you calling yourself ugly?
I have exactly the same experience!!!
Reality check: Not everyone is conventionally “pretty”. And it’s fine. People can’t deal with it. Unfortunately pretty privilege does exist .. which makes it necessary to find other areas to excel in life.
True enough. The world is full of people of all shapes and sizes. But the issue being discussed isn't whether or not some people are more or less conventionally pretty, but more against the people who treat those who aren't conventionally pretty as being lesser than- that's the issue
Amen
I can deal with being ugly but I can't deal with being treated like trash and despised coz of how I look
@@DrKayExplains this is true it’s not right.. the world is hard
this is true it’s not right.. the world is hard
I think women who judge other women for wanting attention from men are threatened by it and not being honest if they claim that they don’t want or enjoy attention from men as well. Of course, there are people who overdo the attention-seeking, but otherwise it’s natural for women to want men to notice them.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Plus no matter who you are someone is going to prettier then you.
Yup. You can be the prettiest, juciest and most delectable peach in the garden... And there'll still be someone who doesn't like peaches!
It SHOULD be
Beauty is not only in the eye of the beholder unfortunately there is a science behind it…. Face symmetry and more average features and normal BMI
@@UniqueliStunning meaning
My friend is the prettiest girl in the world tho
I agree with her. I don't have pretty privilege and if I do get attention it's probably because I have tissue stuck to my shoe. I'm at a age where I'm ok with it and I'm at peace. It does not upset me or make me happy.
IMO it's a freeing concept to live unashamedly. Live your life and let go of the pressure and expectations that come with all of this.
@Kimberly Mercer, Begin your day,with knowing your worth. Knowing you are absolutely beautiful. You are privileged. I know woman who so called don’t have “pretty” privilege attract all types of great men, because of how they carry themselves and how they feel within. They believe in who they are and what they have to offer. These women tend to be quite intelligent and never down themselves, they enhance their best feature and have the best attitude about themselves and in life. First, acknowledge you.
You look lovely on your picture though !
@@HaitianBlackGinger11 thank you. My day always starts with a love for self. Not having pretty privilege does not mean I value myself any less. Trust me I'm good. I do acknowledge some things would.probably come a little easier and frequently for me if I had that advantage but I'm truly ok with me. It took time but I'm awesome and again thank you for your uplifting kind words.
@@sofitocyn100 that's kind and thank you. I think all woman look absolutely great in pictures and perhaps in person but we still don't get the treatment of those who are considered "pretty" lol. Again that's ok. Thank you for your kind words.
Something that I feel goes under the radar regarding Pretty Privilege is how when pretty women go missing or have passed, many comments will read “Oh no, she’s so pretty, we have to find her” or “She was a beauty, so sad”. There’s more overall sympathy for pretty women in tragic circumstances and it’s sickening
I can guarantee that if she came to Jamaica she would have to fight guys off with a stick 😂😂😂. I think she's very attractive and also very intelligent so she is definitely a great catch, just need to find a decent guy and probably make the first move if she sees someone she likes.
Absolutely agreed 😊👍🏾, I don't doubt that part of her problem is location. LA is famed for being very "competitive" for black women in dating.
Yes, she may get a bit more attention there but Jamaica just as the rest of the Carribean is filled with colorist. So, she will still be tossed aside for a mediocre to ugly looking fair skin person.
@@teascobie6557 you've got that right! I am considering conventionally "pretty" in Jamaica until a light skinned woman is beside me.
@@MarshasJourney bleaching can’t even stop them from being attracted to me.
Well in Jamaica she wouldn’t be considered the conventional standard but I appreciate your overall point
Great video! To me the most absurd cases are in the justice system. Conventionally attractive people who commit crimes garner so much sympathy from the public. It sounds crazy that people are willing to excuse criminal behaviour just because of looks.
It's scary actually. Especially when you read about infamous serial killers or people who committed crimes on a massive scale.
Stepco's experience seems pretty accurate dating in LA. Black women have a harder time here because black men really prefer to cross color lines because it's more acceptable here. It's not necessarily even about skin color as much as it's about black men want the forbidden fruit.
Black women need to change our taste in men aka black men. That will solve some of it. We need to date the rainbow.
she's not dating black men i believe. thats not who stephco ordinarily dates
Yep
@@marie-francoiset9402she does but they don't like her.
That last part you were talking about when Stephenie avoids hanging out with her friends in certain places I took it as since they are more attractive than her whenever they go out they will get attention from men and she wouldn't she felt she was left out/ignored/invisible so that's her way of avoiding that kind of interaction/feeling. I felt that feeling before too it feels awkward, like you're a third wheel and it hurts because you are right there with your friend and the guy or whoever is just talking to your friend and ignoring you like you aren't even there and what hurts even more than that is your friend doesn't even notice it or doesn't sympathize what happen to you or they just brush it off as you being dramatic or paranoid.
@@logicaldonuts3673
I think you missed my point or maybe I didn't explain it well. I don't care if the guy is attracted to my friend what I care about it being included in the conversation instead of being a bystander watching. He can still flirt with my friend but still be talking to both of us. One time when my and two of my friends went out a group of guys stopped is and talked to us they were interested in one of my friends but they included me and my other friend in the conversation too.
@@logicaldonuts3673 You guys NEVER make these assertive comments in spaces where men are crying and moaning that "all women want the top 10% of men." Where is all this bad attitude and finger wagging when men are complaining? Where is it? Yall love telling women xyz meanwhile men are allowed to complain like children day in and day out with little to no recourse.
@@logicaldonuts3673 I refuse to take anything you're saying seriously the moment you looked at my profile pic and said I'm unattractive.🤣 You are CLEARLY projecting; trying to make up for what YOU see in YOUR mirror. I don't participate in charity commentary. So, keep talking to yourself, beloved. 😆
@@amourtoujours779 Lol. That @Logical Donuts dude is such a jerk. I wish women everywhere would recognize that the way a man treats “unattractive” women is a signal of the way he would treat even the most attractive partner when her looks begin to fade. Instead of women feeling sorry for themselves when they encounter boys like him, they ought to feel sorry for him and the shallow, immature, meaningless relationships he clearly has in his own life.
@@missmytime nobody owes you a conversation. They don’t like you they don’t like you move on.
The ugly truth is that most people (of all cultures) think that black people don't have pretty privilege. It is hurtful but it is the reality.
Perhaps it’s because I’ve been watching a few of Stephanie‘s videos, and I see the person that she is, that I didn’t understand why anyone would find her unattractive. I certainly would never invalidate what she has experienced, and I believe every word of what she said, but I did find it interesting, because I think she’s adorable. She has a beautiful smile, and gorgeous skin, and that really is not subjective, it is what it is. That being said, one of the reasons why I find myself avoiding any type of debate about ANYthing really is because people are not willing to have an HONEST discussion about ANYthing anymore. It’s quite a disturbing phenomenon. People want that toxic positivity over reality.
Wish life was fair but its not.. people are nicer to people they find attractive! Can not help that whatsoever
Life isn't fair Raquel, and we do judge people based on how they look. We just need to be aware of our bias and not let that guide us into making hasty decisions about people. Even when people *do* benefit from pretty privilege, we still need to be careful with how we judge them and don't overlook red flags all in the name of looks.
Yes it is true, pretty privilege exists but it isn’t always a good thing. You attract a lot of creeps and unwanted attention. It’s harder for people to take you more seriously at work.
Yup. It's definitely not all it's cracked up to be.
But it is much better than being ugly. Admit it, pretty people would never trade in their looks to be ugly so that they dont have to experience some of the minor inconveniences. Sure there are issues, but the privilege triumphs all.
@@fedoratheexplorer2038 that is true ! I agree with you .
No offense to you but being ugly doesn’t mean a woman doesn’t face sexual harassment, abuse, etc. You can attract creeps either way.
_"It's harder for people to take you more seriously at work"_ is not a pretty privilege thing. It's a woman in business thing. A lot of the time I hear this as a downside and it's not even exclusive to being pretty. There are a lot of men who won't give a woman the time of day because he doesn't find her attractive let alone trying to listen to her. If she's "ugly" most men don't even SEE her.
i watched this video a month ago. when she said all that about how she got ready and thought she looked good in her birthday but instead ger friend got all the attention it hit me hard. the worst thing about not having pretty provilege is being around people who do. no matter how much you love them, you will always be a little jealous
I’m a black woman and it took me a while
to realized that pretty privilege was catapulting my career in predominantly white male spaces. When I took some time to think about it, I realize that white female bosses despised me and I was often fired pretty quickly. Meanwhile, white male bosses were giving me raises, promotions, references and just anything I needed to get ahead. I used to think it was mostly because of my intelligence and personality (which I still think is a major contributor) but it’s hard to not see how my looks might be a major factor in how both genders treat me. Especially since a lot of men tend to compliment me (respectfully) in the work place.
People seem to forget that their all kinds of "pretty privileges "..and just because she is not attractive to other people, does not mean she is not pretty..it just means she is not "other people's kind of pretty"..
The grass is always greener on the other side. Pretty privilege exists, so does health privilege, financial privilege, stability privilege, charisma privilege, the list goes on..
Learn to thank god for what you do have, and it shall grow.
You also have to try to maximize what you have. Don’t complain about not having pretty privilege if you are at unhealthy weight for your height.
@@earlem9771yes I agree, stephco doesn’t seem to change her weight and it’s easy for her to complain about not being wanted by men
I find it disturbing that people contribute everything to weight. yes I do think it can play into things to a certain extent. Speaking from experience I used to be 322 pounds and lost over a 140 something of those pounds. I am 5' 9 and I have a athletic build, I carry my weight in my thighs, no stomach. I gained a lot of muscle from weight training, heavy weights, 4x a week 45 minutes a day, so i was very toned. The odd thing is when I was 322 pounds I got attention. However, when I got down to a very toned and slimmer size 12M, I got none. That said, losing weight maybe helpful but let's stop selling the narrative that that's the key to every dating issue. Let me be clear I did not lose weight for the attention of men . I did think,however, losing weight would help but that was not my main goal. I just wanted to see something different when I looked in the mirror; I had been heavy all of my life. Many other factors go into dating. Just focusing on the superficial is disturbing and doesn't provide any absolutes. We have no say over how we look. We have to work with what we were given and make the best of it. We have no control over who will find us attractive. Like life, being deemed attractive in any arena is all a crap shoot. Location is also a real factor; I went to London a few years back and in the 5 days I had been there I got the attention of 6 or 7 different men, of different races. I looked like any other black person in London. They didn't know I was American. But here in the States I'm ignored. Final thought, the checklist used to determine if you're pretty enough for "pretty privilege" is so short and the column so narrow that most women are not going to fit it. That doesn't mean you're not pretty. It just means you're not pretty according to a very narrow accounting. There's not a lot of diversity in that place holder.
Hi Tamra, I agree that weight is not the only thing influencing attractiveness- location, proximity, self-confidence, styling etc are also important. Even things like body language or subconscious thoughts can give off a vibe we may not even be aware we are giving. So many things go into what we find attractive indeed!
You had ass privilege when you were heavy. According to how you have described your body, you are either pear shaped or an hour glass.
You didn't look like any other black person in London. There was something about your vibe and people could sense you were different. People just know.
@@toomuchinformation fat girls are easy.
O
You broke it down perfectly. I think people react negatively because they don't want to acknowledge it exists. It feels so unfair that we give people advantages for nothing other than the fact they won the genetic lottery and it can be hard to discuss it. It's also difficult to admit you do care how people perceive you and that you're maybe not deemed attractive, even when you "make an effort".
Absolutely, this is a very triggering subject for some people because it means confronting their biases head on, and a lot of people don't feel comfortable doing that
I can relate to her story. I can only think of once a guy I didn’t know tried to talk to me out. Even when I’d do everything to look my best. I met my husband though a friend and I was wearing a hoodie and old jeans with no make up.
“Privilege” is just anything that give u more “average” then others without trying! Even though that “everyone” can have or use any kind of “random privileges” without trying. it doesn’t mean they know or u don’t u have some kind of “privilege” but it doesn’t give them the Same average as people who are born into it. Luv this video thx for covering this topic.
Thanks chica!! 😊
@@DrKayExplains np
The difference is that your appearance is not inherent. Most people can do a hell of a lot to change the way they look: diet, exercise, cosmetic surgery, clothes, even how you carry yourself. And you CAN chose your hair and eye color. And that privilege doesn’t last long compared to race, wealth and intelligence. Even at 40, a lot of that pretty privilege evaporates. So, yes and no. There are benefits to being one of the beautiful people, but it often requires a lot of money,and borderline self-torture for women; and only exists for part of one’s lifetime.
True. I agree with you Emily that to a lesser extent you can change hair colour, eyes with contacts and exercise. However, this is not universal and depends on money, time, effort etc..
I also make the point in another video that the people who supposedly benefit from "pretty privilege" are also constrained by its limitations and end up suffering in the longterm.
@@DrKayExplains please elaborate on how they are constrained
@@ABC-ho5jo can be seen as less intelligent , may face harrasment from others
You can't choose your ACTUAL hair and eye color. Contacts, hair dye and cosmetics aren't real prettiness. You can put all that on and still not be perceived as pretty because your don't have the inherent features. You can change some other things but there are limits. Oh and all that costs money. Not everyone has the disposable money to change their appearance.
Truthful
I dont understand this whole level up for yourself. I dont look at my face unless I’m looking in the mirror. I can feel confident with no makeup on and an old t shirt. Im happy with my features, its the world that seems to have a problem with it. If I do get surgical procedures, its gonna be for the societal validation and thats just me being honest.
I must say excellent editing and clip inserts in this video
Thank you Tisha.❤️
I'm glad all my efforts aren't in vain 😊
I think in terms of pretty privilege, most people fall down (I used to be one of these people btw so don’t come for me) by constantly focusing too hard on what they DON’T have. When in reality, the key to receiving, at least a SLICE of the treatment you want, is by enhancing what you DO have so that your preferential features are the forefront. It sounds harsh but pretty privilege is not going to go anywhere no matter how much we complain about it.
This can be achieved in many ways depending on what these features are for you. For me, it’s my hair. A lot of BEAUTIFUL black Queens of varied textures get on this app and flex their gorgeous natural hair and how to look after it etc.
But MY natural hair personally, I know, just genetically isn’t a great feature for me. So I just accept it and get my hair crocheted. But when I DO though, my hair goes from being the feature I dislike most to the most talked about feature I have! People always saying they love my hair and even getting interested looks because of my hair etc.
However one thing I DO have naturally that I can flaunt, is an eternally youthful face, good hips, collarbones, toned legs. Basically my bone structure gives me a good shape. So when I hit the gym or go on a diet or whatever, the shape I settle into is VERY favoured.
My point is, just focus on the things you DO have and enhance them. That’s what I learned to do.
What a thoughtful and kind analysis of this topic. It makes me feel you must be a wonderful doctor.
I guess there 4 billions of people in this earth so someone will love us.
Aye! There's someone for everybody 😂
Not really, if you take out people:
1) who live outside of your country
2) who doesn't speak your language
3) are too young or too old
4) who aren't your type as far as height, income and other physical preferences
5) are felons or alcoholic etc..
6) you're not their type
7) don't have a car
8) aren't mentally stable
It may go down from 4 billion people to 10 or 5
People needs to be more positive, I'm a black girl I was born and raised in Barcelona, Spain. My family is mixed (Equatorial Guinean, Cameroonian and Spanish), I didn't have a boyfriend in highschool boys didn't find me attractive, but people from other cultures does. With time a learn this "beauty beholds in the eyes of a beholder", new things takes time.
@@futureeme7721 hola! 😄yo también vivo en españa y tengo amigas ecuatoguineanas 💘
I'm 17, and I'm ugly when i say it out loud people deny it (bc they try to be gently) but i know that's the truth. it's so hard for me to go out with my friends sometimes cause they are all so pretty and i do feel left out somehow, and when they talk about experience with boys i do feel kinda jealous and want to cry but it's okay I'll get over it some day! i guess self acceptance is a long trip (sorry for my english, I'm from Argentina)
Hola Sofía 😊
To be honest I was an awkward bookworm and didn't really "glow up" until my 20s. So there's still time.
I say this and I really mean it that a boy's attention is pretty meaningless thing to chase after. I mean, what can it do for you? Does it keep the light on? Pay your bills? Make the world go round?? No. And I know you might hear this all the time, but it's true: focus on *you* and follow your dreams and education. The boys will come, trust me 😉
Tables may turn....remember that women who were unattractive in youth who age well are eventually considered attractive. Keep looking after yourself
It don’t get better . I’m almost 33 and still single . I’m ugly
@@JESSKISS19 i still think things will get better for you! i meam they are getting better for me, plus beauty is subjective im pretty sure lots of people find you attractive
@@sofiaanzalone9646im almost 35 ... shit still the same
I lost A LOT of weight after giving birth to twins
I hadn’t been the size since college
Everyone was so nice to me because I was pretty
I suffered from PPD and felt so ugly as a new mom
I became an emotional eater and undesirable again
I’m sorry to hear this and I can empathize with where you’re coming from as a mom with 2 kids as well. It’s a cycle but it can be broken. If anything, take your time with things and be kind to yourself mama 💛 you’re beautiful no matter what!
NOOOO.... motherhood does a number on us women. The worst thing you can believe is that you are now lacking in worth. Please take the time to put yourself first and find yourself again. You are worthy.
yeah , i agree that idk how/why ppl were trying to discredit Steph's experience
Thank you for clearly defining what “pretty privilege is “ I’m a generation Xer and this made me reflect on my own experiences growing up feeling attractive and viewing others I thought were more attractive than myself, although I agree more attractive people benefit for me “pretty “ was subjective. For example,If most people saw the “popular kids” when I was in school I don’t think most people would consider them attractive, and although the pretty people received preferential treatment and given the benefit of the doubt, that was also the case with those individuals who knew how to “suck-up” or those with “connections “ which taught me pretty only got you so far. Maybe because social media wasn’t what it is today there wasn’t this need to compare our looks and lives to others, I have a different perspective.
Yup, the "popular kids" in school is a good example
You are such a smart woman, I just love how well spoken you are.
People get so offended when they hear the word “privileged” because they always associate that word with “living a good, carefree life”. We ALL have privileges. If you live in a house, you’re privileged to someone who doesn’t. If you have money, you’re privileged to someone who’s poor. Being privileged does not mean you do not struggle, and I wish people would grasp that concept instead of getting so defense as if someone pointing out your privilege is a way to attack you. You can be pretty and still have trouble dating, HOWEVER, obviously being pretty has its perks as we see time and time again in our society. Just look at these glorified celebs. How many celebrities do we know are horrible people, but because they look good, they continue to thrive?
I've been heavy most of my life. I was able to get attention (STILL do), not like my slimmer counterparts for sure and not always positive, but still attention. I have an attractive face (seemingly as most plus size women do). I noticed when I lost weight, I couldn't stop being told I was beautiful. Men were Everywhere! Couldn't beat em off!. I was so confused as to why I suddenly became a different person worth getting to know. It made me feel terrible because if I got fat again (which I did +), then it all dissipates (which it did). What if I'm sick? What if I'm handicapped and can no longer exercise? Then what I a worthless person?! It's crazy. I see how people are suddenly all about Rebel Wilson when she was the butt of many a fat joke. They act as though she is a different human being. Just her size changed. We have to stop throwing people away for appearance. We end up throwing away GREAT people for less than great ideals. The body is temporary, the spirit is FOREVER!
Honestly, I find Stephanie so attractive that I was surprised that she made that video.
Where I live, black girls are rare and seen as beautiful. They don't need to do anything to grab the attention of others.
But I understand Stephanie and respect her experience without any doubts.
Stephanie is beautiful, intelligent and love worthy. I would love to have her as a friend!
Where do u live so I can be considered attractive 💀
She looks below average to me
I think it's a privilege to being ugly too but we often don't want to talk about that though. Most people are average looking some below or above. I think it's mostly about perspective. People treat you how you feel and present yourself and mostly how you let them.
That's an interesting perspective... I think you need to expand on the point you made about the "privilege to being ugly", I'd like to hear more of your point and get into a discussion about this
Hmm, I think I can understand this. Certain professions would treat an average woman better than a pretty one especially when it's a male dominated field. I came across a tik tok of a woman who works in construction and she explained how pretty privilege works against her. People think she's the assistant or relegate her to 'coffee lady' when she's actually the general manager. No one respects her but her fellow Co - worker who isn't as conventionally pretty, finds it easier to be respected/taken seriously. Even I had friends in Design school who would take more average looking professors more seriously than the super attractive ones. Seems like it's easier to get the 'intellectual tag' if you aren't an overly attractive woman.
That's exactly my point Yellow sage pretty people have to work hard to be taken seriously and establish boundaries with people who feel entitled to their space and very hard to do without being considered the B word.
@@moedollaz6551 Exactly. I'm not saying 'ugly privilege' is desirable but me as an average looking woman I've sometimes had to play bodyguard for my more attractive friends especially when we go to crowded places like clubs or concerts. I've seen them being groped, stalked, dragged, and generally feel unsafe because of the attention they get. At worst, people just ignore me. I know some people actually enjoy the perks of pretty privilege but there are some people who suffer forms of anxiety over the attention. And not to mention the fakeness; men wanting to get with them but never wanting to commit. They get a lot more men obviously (especially the richer guys) but a good amount of them are not worth it if they're just after your face/body.
I'm kind of glad to be average looking sometimes; I don't need to do crazy things to maintain my looks or fear that one day I'll no longer be desirable and nobody will pay me any attention. I'm already going through this shit right now, and yet, I'm still thriving!
@@SaffariRose yes Queen that's exactly right not to mention the jealously from insecure women it ain't always safe for pretty women especially if your self esteem is low and you have a hard time sticking up to ppl.
Off topic but that app did you edit your video with?
Adobe Premiere Pro
No one wants to talk about the dark side of pretty privilege where you’re one of the few conventionally attractive BLACK women in the room and everyone else is average or below so you experience nothing but micro aggression and bullying. This has mainly been my experience in the workplace (besides back when I was bartending) and when I see unattractive people now, I automatically assume they’re going to sabotage me.
Most of us will never have pretty privilege. Most of us are average.
I think Stephanie is cute! My opinion may be annoying-as I am not in her dating pool (nor am I trying to be 😀) but I think she’s cute!
You are keeping it Real
i heard some la black men are colorist.. i def believe her bc it los angelos
I have men of other races, breaking their necks to get to me. It's very annoying.
Thhank you for providing your prospective on the subject. People can only see things from their own perspective and experiences, so she can only speak from her view. Thank you for being compassionate. Pretty privledge exists. Because I am not attractive nor unattractive my experiences have always been from other black women always trying to make me feel unattractive. I use to walk in the room and get negative vibes without even speaking due to the way I carry myself. I've heard she thinks she cute countless times. When in fact my confinldence has been ruined by how they see my versus how I should see myself. I've always had them to compare me to people who were prettier. I find their projection as weird, but it does affect me. Thank you for saying to stop seeking external validation.
Hey Girl, thanks for stopping by and sharing your input on this topic 🤗
When it comes to pretty privilege and issues around how we see ourselves, and how the world sees us, very rarely is it a black and white thing (excuse the pun). Reality is a lot more complicated than that and I think it's important to hear the intent behind people's words rather than just taking everything at face value
Isn't beauty in the eye of the beholder. Isn't this based on location. In the west beauty is viewed from a racist perspective, other places like African countries beauty is viewed very differently. As the west continues to become more colored, I'm sure beauty privilege will change. I don't think she's hurting anymore, it's just her observation now. I don't think anyone knows what the perfect look is, white women have more plastic surgery than black. So whites women have more problems with understanding what beauty is.
White people created the culture of vanity. Other ethnicities living amongst them had to conform to that culture as well cuz none of this mess exists in Africa or Asia to the point of depression or suicide
Yes, but even in Africa, the European standard of beauty is prevalent. Hence why we have bleaching creams and women feeling bad about their ethnic features.
I really really dig this take.❤️
I kinda agree with Stephanie though you shouldn't go out with folks more attractive than you are. Who wants to see men all over your attractive friends while feeling invisible? Why put yourself through that? Just like couples with young kids shouldn't hire hot nannies, period.
Interesting take there Valerie...
But in the same token haven't you been out with someone who necessarily isn't the most conventionally attractive, but they're a people magnet?
Where does it stop in that case? 🤷🏾♀️
I agree.
@@DrKayExplains not really. If you show me 10 women I can correctly order which women will get the most attention from men on a night out… beauty is what catches them initially always.
All of my friends were more attractive than me, but I loved spending time with them, because they were sweet people. I had a guy ask me out to dinner (my first date ever, actually) solely to find out if my good friend was single. He went on and on about how hot everyone at work thought she was (and she definitely was). But, that wasn't her fault. She was still one of the sweetest people I had ever met, that was like the sister I never had.
Have you all watched more than one of StephCo’s videos? She comes off completely bitter in her videos. She needs to love herself and because she doesn’t, she has bad experiences. She has openly admitted, in but so many words that she even self sabotages when people do like her. She can’t accept the positive she receives because she has been through so much. That doesn’t give her a right to penalize and talk down on others. Her jealousy literally turns to envy (which in my opinion is much worse). Living in LA??? She can change where she lives if what she wants is not there. Maybe her forever guy is somewhere else. I’m truly disappointed whenever I see her topics. They are all toxic and she’s looking for others to join her on the ride.
Issue 4 very real why I don’t fuck with ppl now
I really like this reaction video. SUBSCRIBED! I liked Oh Stephco's video, she made herself very vulnerable- the struggle is real. I admit I have pretty privilege but I'm an older woman, late 40s and I've experienced a bit. The only 'criticism' I have is it came off like a red flag that underneath her 'trying', she def has a 'type'. I think that 'type' conflicts with her specific reality. So, to me only, think she's turned away men that could've been really great for her. So in a way she's doing to men what she says men are doing to her. Just think back to her story on the guy she compares other men to, she would've NEVER have given him a chance had it not been for her friend. My two cents. I really like her heart, she's a sweet person.
Exactly. In a video, she did say that she likes "beautiful things" when speaking of potential mates.
Self esteem is a great topic.
Subscribed tempted to enter in this conversation 🤞🏽😍 black girls chat
Pretty privilege is for sure real but that is not always as "good" as people make it seem. Super creepy guys, overly flirting even on days you are not in the mood. Lord knows the "smile beautiful" line is something I hate hearing. Just wanna put the middle finger up. The gas station/corner store is like walking into a hyena cage. At work you get thrown on the forefront for the company because of the way you look and you are suppose to act a certain way be nice all the time etc. Also remember even pretty people think they have ugly days, parts/features. Everyone sees your outside only nobody cares if you are smart etc.
ive ran into this lady. All i can see is that she does her makeup wrong. I see so many women that dont think they are attractive attempt to "Fix themselves up" but do it ALL WRONG. I can always tell when a dark skin woman has a problem with her color in her mind. They will ONLY wear what is suppose to be for "DARK SKIN" women. I HATE IT.. what do they do? Wear Dark Depressing burgundy. Or some ugly peach red and not blend it in.. And they wear only this color Eyeshadow because its for "DARK PEOPLE".. bottom line is just stop wearing what you think you are only allowed to wear with certain color spectrum because of your skin tone.. Its not so much about being pretty as much as it is about "Looking Pretty". Sometimes i wonder how it is that EVERYONE doesnt know by now in 2022 that Pretty and Beauty is an IMAGE. Its Created. If you cant create the look then you get no privilege. Dark Purple and Brown lipstick because youre "Dark Skin"? That shit is ugly on ANYONE! Just get the makeup right and youre in the door. Dont like makeup ?? kool. go sit in the corner and complain about not being "LIKED" .
I totally totally agree 2 everything U wrote we do have to do our part to get noticed and I don't see shit wrong with it, the Lord created everything use what u can and need. A lot of people disagree but IT IS WHAT IT IS! THAT'S NOT TERRIBLY like some people say IF you don't take pride in yourself who in the hell will TOO? It can be fun for the day or night or weekend creating different glamorous looks alot of women (all cultures) are lazy and don't want 2 put the effort and time into it, which isn't a crime to begin with, and most of thes
U r so so right 💯 I am dark skinned and I do not exclusively wear lavender or purple because those are always the colors they assign darker people. I wear every color under the rainbow, even white. And I don't care. I love how I look.
Come on. It's not about her make-up. She has below average facial features. You're just blaming her. You have no idea what she wore when she was in her 20s.
@@sarah37452 you can tell what she wore in her 20’s by what she’s wearing now. And as far as features, below average?? What are you comparing her to? I agree she’s below average with this makeup scheme just like the next average girl would be if she did this to her face. That’s what’s wrong with her. She has people telling her she’s below average as if all the “baddies” are above average. I’ve been with enough so called “SUPER BHADD” chicks and dealt with them long enough to see them WITHOUT their makeup. They look like totally different people. In fact, they look like this lady.
This is a great video. 🥺😍
Thanks hun 🤗😊
I've commented on the original video. It didn't go well as far as I remember 😂. I actually find the topic very interesting though, as a man, it seems like I have not much to say on the matter 😂
Even though you might not have much to say on her experience, it's always good to be aware and be open to talking to each other about issues like these
@@DrKayExplains in theory, doc. Not in practice I can assure you. Not on yt at any rate
I think steph has been through a lot. I think she may need to do a number of things but primarily she needs therapy and a new environment. I think she is very attractive as is and I would find it very strange if she couldn't find someone. Just not in the pool of people she has been looking in.
Exactly!!!!
Why can't people be honest and share their vulnerable side online?
I had seen her video recently. I admired her 100% honest and raw confessions.
Women know of if they are attractive or not. Nothing shameful with her video
It evolutionary psychology. People are attracted to looks and height. I understood this as a short guy. I always get looked at as weaker until I prove people otherwise.
Yes, but earning capacity is also affected by it.
I may be different, because I don't like tall men.
@@toomuchinformation So are other thinks for women like a feminine, flirty, agreeable personality.
The bun 😍 The bun 😍
That bun was 2021 edition... 2022 version is loading this summer!!
I tired reaching out to Oh! Stephco but got no response to my comment left. I’m guessing you have to make a video about her to get a response. I loved your video by the way❤️
Hey, thank you 😊
I'm sure she's been overwhelmed with all the attention and unintended results from that video...
Off course it exists all around the world and it will always exist this is something nobody can do about it
Well Vanessa.... so they say.
But then at one point they used to say that the world was flat and the sun revolved around the earth, but here we are now...🤷🏾♀️
Doesn’t exist in Africa I can n tell u that, vanity is a western influenced thing
The only thing I disagreed with on her Pretty Privledge video, was I don't necessarily think that getting people staring at you and strangers approaching you, would be considered a privilege to everyone. I never had that happen because I'm a pretty plain person, but from my teens to early 20's, I had severe social anxiety. If I would have had strangers approaching me and people staring at me like they did to my friends, it would have kept me from ever wanting to go out and enjoy myself.
i dont have pretty privilege, im a white male and get a lot of rude behaviors from people, was also bullied a lot growing up.
I am sorry to hear that, I'd like to be your friend 🤗
My son is 2yrs old and I know he can tell pretty women because he always smile at them and let the pretty ones play with him. He doesn't let average chicks touching him or caring him unless he knows them from the day care or unless they give him food candy or chocolate milk.
When my new girlfriend is with me he never listen to me, and do wtv he can to get my girlfriendvs attention.
This is human nature, even babies are like that...
Love the accent
ALL people benefit from looks. Men and women. Women want tall handsome men. Men want fit beautiful women. How is this even something worth study and conversation. This is how we pick good physical genes. This is hardwired. Only women whine about it. She was trying to get a tall handsome man. If she picked some average looking man she would be fine. Men don't cry because they can't get fashion models. Women should be realistic.
"Men don't cry because they can't get fashion models..."
So what would explain the whole incel/MGTOW/PUA/Redpill movement?? That a whole group of men complaining that the "Staceys go for the Chads?" 🙄
Just because you see this in simplistic terms doesn't mean that others will too. The subject of dating, interpersonal relationships between men and women is a valid issue that many people of *both* sexes complain about.
If however, it doesn't apply to you...let it fly
Not true
Even average guys don't want me
They all want above average women.
I see myself as pretty though
Dr Kay I for got to ask you where are you from my dear ??? Love your accent but I don't know where your from ...Carribbean ???? African ??? UK ?
I'm in the UK
@@DrKayExplains Ok ..I'm a High value Male In the states Can I send my private jet to your office.?? It can be a date
@@percyastronautstatus.8780 😂🤣😂🤣 this was so sad
@@speaktruthpeace1612 why do other women get. JEALOUS ...when men flirt with other women ..??? Oh I know why....They wish it were .......them ....as u can see I was kinda half joking half serious but I guess u THOUGHT I was dead serious ....How far did u get in school jus wondering?? 9ru grade
@@percyastronautstatus.8780 no. I am out your league. I have a JD. That’s a PHD in Law. Continue to thirst over the Internet. ✌🏽
Stephanie’s problem is that her issue has nothing to do with pretty privilege. In fact, ugly women get the women they want every day. She thinks having the men she wants her is some sort of human right. In her entire video I didn’t hear her say she was denied jobs or accomplishments or given harsher punishments in comparison to her “conventionally attractive” counterparts. Privilege refers to something ppl have that everyone should. A man not wanting you is not ill treatment. There is a lot of self loathing & negativity that oozes from her videos. I am sure that presents itself in person. Despite what she thinks she comes across as in person. I really think therapy would help. You are not a victim or privilege because u can’t sleep with who u want. That was an incel video & very disheartening because pretty privilege is a real issue.
Rude
I love me a ugly or wierd faced woman. Me and my girlfruend still been together since high school. Guys hate me but I shower her with love and hugs. I love a good heart over attractiveness. I treat Beautiful girls means and it helps me ti financially take advantage of them 😂😂😂. Then they are shocked my girl aint got that face.
If people think pretty privileged does not exist🙄🙄🙄, watch a kdrama or better yet go to korea
When you’re pretty you do not get better jobs or promoted because of your looks. THAT IS NOT TRUE AND ITS A LIE. IN FACT : You have to prove yourself even more and the bar is set higher because people automatically assume you’re just another pretty face. Im Jamaican and the phrase commonly used for this dynamic is “pretty dunce” that’s the stigma behind it and that can be damaging to ones self esteem. Also, self esteem isn’t just associated to how someone looks but one can be insecure based on their attributes or how they’re perceived. So hopefully we have a clear understanding now 😊
Not true. In fact, I had a male manager tell me that one of the major reasons I got promoted was because I’m attractive.
Studies show pretty people get promotions and hired more than people who are nor pretty.
@@prettybrwneyez7757ya but I doubt you didn't qualify
@@sarah37452depends on the job. Marketing, yes. Science, no.
I agree with the #4 & #6 comment/criticisms. Therapy is the place for self-depreciating talk, not the Internet. Stephanie’s videos shows that she needs some therapy & she’s working through her issues in the videos.
She’s tapped into a niche & she’s making money on UA-cam much like Kevin Samuels. Black women (as a whole) have felt unattractive & unwanted so many will flock & support her negative self talk but it’s not healthy.
I wish her healing.
perfectly stated!
Exactement... Certaines personnes manque d'empathie.🙄 C'est triste...
Althouth I get all of this and I am of the not notice by guys but in away even if it's valid sometimes people wound a bit like an incel in some ways who believe since in human history there has almost always been a garantía that you will met a woman that now thag it inst so easy on a way the feel they are being denied a right they had until some years that was almost a guaranteed and same with being fallow by man as a women... an it's a bit problematic
Don't women tells lies? She isn't having pretty privilege. She wants men who doesn't want her. She should look for men who want her.
It is a non problem. For tall guys, don't have tall guy privileges, women just want them. This is absurd. I don't believe her. Say in her own lane.
I couldn't take her or other want to be victims seriously. No one has pass a single law to prevented her from dating anyone. She just cannot have men that she want. Date men who looks like her.
It’s not about disagreeing with her premise or her conclusion, I disagree with her response/choice of actions and think it’s dangerous and self-sabotaging.
Essence IS A THING. Aura, vibes, sensuality, femininity are sources of social capital. To ignore that social capital is a choice you are free to make, but they mean you are weakening your OWN position.
Steph is pretty 6:11
I'm so tired of the pretty privilege conversation. Pretty privilege only exists in the entertainment world for obvious reasons. People with average regular jobs or life's do not receive this! Ordinary people are intimidated when they see a person who is beautiful and stands out because unlike Hollywood it does not happen as often. People become extremely competitive with attractive people because of their own insecurities and ultimately try to bring them down! If the person interviewing u for a good job is jealous of you then you probably won't get the job! Instead they will probably hire someone less intimidating who will not likely surpass them duh! Let's talk about ugly privilege or basic "average" privilege because that shit is real we're in the Era of inclusion. Being pretty doesn't cut it and could ultimately be your down fall but no one wants to talk about that cuz yall haters!!!! If your pretty u will have to work twice as hard because you will have twice as many haters trying to stop u and block your bag! People only want some thing from you because your attractive for beautiful woman guys just want sex and women just want a negative reaction from you! Sum f*@$&#ing privilege bs!
I felt this
Not all women who wear make up are viewed as beautyful. Iam not talking about the inside. Inside is diffrent.
Being attractive gets you in the doors, the rest is up to you. Ask Beyoncé, “pretty hurts” and this is a real statement because a lot of pretty people are hated on or used and abused by insecure men etc. The plus side of it though is that you may not have to have much of a personality 🤣
I agree w the point that location plays a role. I know for me, race and location played a huge role. I lived in a richer area where white women were the “cream of the crop”, or men wanted to be with women of their own race. As a kid, I was called ugly & told no guy would ever want to date me because I was black, all predominately by the same race of boys. Social dynamics play a huge role as well, and LA is like the land of the unrealistic expectations. I know she’d have MUCH better success anywhere else :/
Pretty privilege does exist why can’t people accept that? It’s a hush hush thing in this society but it does happen stop the lies come on. Us below average people are constantly treated crappy and no we don’t get noticed by men. It’s fine it’s the truth. Go below average and try it out for a week then go ahead and judge Stephanie.