Sometimes Your "Preference" is Just Prejudice (And You Need To Keep It To Yourself)
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- Опубліковано 27 лип 2024
- I can't cook...but here's some food for thought on this Thanksgiving eve.
When discussing dating, I know we've all heard it before, "Why can't I just have my preference?" In this video, I discuss why there's nothing wrong with knowing what you like, but the issue becomes when you feel the need to state it in a way that can bring harm to others. Then it becomes prejudice. Thanks for watching. And Happy Thanksgiving 🦃🦃
Tiktok Creators Mentioned:
leekhard2
based_fob: tinyurl.com/ej5vsfd7
Article about Racial Bias in online dating: nypost.com/2021/02/19/heres-w...
Book about racial bias in online dating: tinyurl.com/2ewwy4j2
Chapters:
0:00 Intro
01:16 A Preferential TikTok
04:11 Preferences born of disgust become prejudice
04:33 Content about Preferences is Usually Based in Prejudice
05:50 An Unfortunate Trend
09:19 A Pattern Observed at Disney
13:13 Men and Women are Guilty
16:30 The Real Problem With "Preference"
When you are prejudice against traits that you embody it looks a lot like self-hate.
yeah i wonder how his mom would feel seeing that :(
@@drefloresca95 his mom is probably encouraging him.
🏆
Very straightforward comment. 🎯 spot on
Exactly!
Why is it always the worst looking men broadcasting their preferences…
Lmao cause the black women he wanted were repulsed. Now he tryna get his ego back by bashing his type.
@@destinycomillee that’s sad. He’s using all this energy to disparage a group of women he claims not to like instead of taking the time to groom himself and actually improve for the women he wants.
Right??? I was dating this guy (not the standard attractive one) for about a month and all of sudden, he throws in conversation that he's making an exception by dating me since he usually dates "real fit girls and I'm not exactly fit, right?"........ BOI BYE
@@Jujulianap He had to bring you down a peg to gain dominance.
@@Jujulianap I almost dated a guy like that but thank goodness I stopped talking to him with the quickness. He basically said I wasn't his type but he was trying something different. In my opinion, his type doesn't want him, so now he wants to date me ( the fat chick). No, he should continue to stick the trying to get his type to like him, and leave fat chicks like myself alone.
The irony of this all is that the ones who would actually not date a black woman would more than likely not be good to a good black woman. So, really, I hope more men speak their preference, because if you don’t want or like someone, don’t waste their time, but definitely don’t disrespect them because of your own so called “preferences.” Because if a black man wouldn’t disrespect his mother, he shouldn’t find content, or this nature, appropriate to share with the rest of the world. Just go for what you like, and don’t demean women because they aren’t your “type.” It’s as simple as that.
Exactly. Let them continue to make non black women the face of single motherhood, struggle "love," poverty, and being the bread winners. They want us to care so bad and we don't! Let Beckeisha take care of you and your kids, we don't want you, sir!!!
Come and hear word 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Precisely
I totally agree. I never get upset when someone speaks about their preference. I feel its better for them to be with who they want than being with a black women and mistreating her because they see no real value in her. I wish more men would just say their preference and stick to it. Its better than damaging black women, in the process. There is nothing wrong with having a preference, I think most men talk about their preference and the reasons why they have to..to spite black women.
So true. Bw get it worse from such bm.
Men in general, regardless of race always want YOU to know whether or not they find you attractive. You don’t even have to like men and they will make it known. There’s no reason why you need to tell me, a woman that’s over 5’7, that tall women aren’t your preference. I’d argue that most of the time the woman wasn’t even interested. Even on dating apps they boldly say “ I don’t usually date _____ but I’ll make an exception for you”. It’s so weird. No one asked
Agree. It's like they try to tell you your worth. Or try to decrease your self worth.
This exact thing happened to me. I was dating this guy for about a month and all of sudden, he throws in conversation that he's making an exception by dating me since he usually dates "real fit girls and I'm not exactly fit, right?"........ BOI BYE
@@Jujulianap ew he sounds trash… you dodged a bullet!
Yup. And then when they realize that you never liked them in the first place, they get angry and offended. Like wtf.
i'm 5'11 and men say this shit to me all the time. always shorter men. it's so funny because it's clearly them being incredibly sensitive about their own height but they try to make me feel like there is something wrong with the way i look instead of facing their own insecurities. i take it as a blessing though because my height clearly weeds out the men who are insecure with their masculinity haha
I had this exact experience IN PERSON a couple years ago and I’ll never forget it. I was literally minding my own business, bagging up my groceries at the store when I noticed 2 young men looking in my direction. One looked biracial and the other was a dark skinned black kid.
The biracial guy started pointing me out to his friend, saying I was attractive. And his friend (the dark skinned guy) loudly stated, “Nah I don’t like black girls!” and then literally went on a tangent about how much he doesn’t like black women. As if he felt the need to announce his “preference” to the whole world, and take his frustrations out on ME - a stranger there, literally minding my business.
The biracial guy looked utterly confused, but didn’t really say much after that. I don’t know if the guy was expecting me to go off on him or what, so he could justify his “reasons” for hating black women, but I just walked away with my groceries. Of course, all of this was in earshot of other customers in the vicinity. Smh. I just really find it sad that these “men” have to tear other people down to justify their “preferences.”
CHILE! These ppl give off SO much "who hurt you" energy. Like where is all this coming from?!? 😕
That guy is an embarrassment, smh.
Omg I'm so sorry you went through that, I can't even imagine how you would have felt
@ Kylie Catherine - I can assure you. You are not missing out on anything…. These boys that act like this will not turn out to be good men to partner with … let them all keep showing their true colors. Its truly a blessing in disguise. Becky can have them😂. 9 times out of 10. These boys are not attractive.
@@phoenixrose3117 not only are these self haters not physically attractive but immature, uneducated, closed minded, immoral, spineless and effeminate.
Full offense but no Black woman should feel bad that a dusty like this doesn't like her.
Exactly! Who wants him? Lol
@@MsElfMannequin you just proved everyone’s point you literally just said who wants him that means people preference is not him but you’re saying nothing is wrong with that but somehow when it’s against the platform and something is wrong with it What the hell make up your mind you just hypocritical
Nobody should fail or take offense to someone not be in charge as well if you do something is wrong with you mentally
Remember, Black women, these dudes don’t even treat their “preferences” good. So anyone like this is doing you a favor by leaving you alone.
True. But, these videos are not good for women that feel the need to educate others. They're also necessary for young Black girls. I'm not sure young Black boys will be able to relate though. . .
So true
True
@@minasenegal7565 How was your grandmother? You can't tell one side and expect us to assume it's truth.
@@minasenegal7565 But you don't know what kind of wife she was to your grandfather.. Stay in a grandchild's place.. You're wrong to judge their marriage, because you're ignorant.
My massage therapist (white lady) told me how she used to date a black guy who would always say how he hated black woman and I said to her, he was abusive wasn’t he? And she said yes it wasn’t long before he attacked her and chocked her out. Smh
Did she ask you how did you know?
Lol😂
@@Dekthagr8 in the comment she asked her the question
@@Dekthagr8 I asked her. When she said he told her how he hated black girls, I said to her that I bet he was abusive, and then she said yes, he choked her out. The entire story was wild. I told her if she ever ran into someone who said something like that again to go the other way because they are the abusive ones.
My thing is, she didn't care that he hated bw and most often, preferences don't, even if they know these bm treat bw horribly. They only come to their senses or reject bm when they are hurt by them or are abandoned with taking care of their babies alone.
once, i joined a party of people on a night out. an asian american guy in my circle whom i met that day saw a black girl from across the room. he commented, "i don't normally find black women attractive but damn she's hot". i remember feeling very uncomfortable by this statement, not fully understanding why. but one thing i did know and that is he didn't need to say the first bit. all he had to say was "damn she's hot". the whole race generalization thing was just unnecessary.
Exactly. He's a loser.
Yes I agree. Or when people say she’s pretty for a dark skinned girl… that is the WORST. Why can’t she just be pretty?
He’s got a lot of nerve saying that as an Asian man… no women I know like them
@@BB-qk8on I have never been attracted to Asian men
@@BB-qk8on I was about say. Across the board, they are the least attractive men.
I saw a quote the other day that said: “Stop overly explaining yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.” Or: leave the willfully ignorant alone - especially when it comes to the psychology of attraction.
Awesome quote! 🙏🏻
@@Jujulianap 😉
colourism is a huge problem in asia as well. although some asians (e.g. east asians) have naturally light skin tones, a lot of asians like me (e.g. some southeast and south asians) have naturally dark skin. not to mention overactive melanocytes that cause dark areas that ppl say look "dirty"
i remember at ~16 yrs old, telling my therapist i felt "repulsive." i remember her being taken aback by such a strong word.
hearing other women talk about this really does feel like a weight off my back. am also now avoiding a lot of main stream asian media bc of the explicit messages against dark skin.
great vid as usual.
love from the philippines ♥️
Trust me y’all’s skin is flawless and glowy 😍😍🥰✨✨🤎
Sending love ❤️ and light ✨️!
Some phillipines, are dark.
My husband's grandmother was.
Who cares
@@kaydod3190 ya mother
The funny thing is nobody ever asks about peoples preferences. They literally go out of their way to make sure you know they don’t prefer you. 😂 It could be dead silence and they’ll be like. “I could never date xxx, they’re just too-“ Like who askedddd???
Only black males feel comfortable about disparaging their own black women. But what would one expect from a male who wants to constantly portray himself as a victim. Meanwhile he thinks that it's okay to be prejudiced against black women and yet he doesn't see the irony of his own actions.
Not wanting to date someone isn't the same as not wanting to hire someone
Yep and am glad bw are waking up to the bs and are deciding to appreciate all races of men.
@MeS. Tbh its all antiBlackness. And sadly this isn't onesided. For YEARS Black women too have laughed at antiBlack women jokes and upheld the appearance of mixed women and nonBlack women above their own appearance.
This is the end result if a COMMUNITY filled with SELF HATE!
Im a Black man and the self hate in this community makes me wish I wasnt Black at all. Its never ending. I always think about how the next generation of Blavk children are gonna be brought up hating themselves too. Its so sad!
And tbh JUST dating other Black people doesn't = "Black selflove". There are Black men dating unambiguous Black women and STILL seeing biracial and nonBlack women as "prettier". And there are Black women who feel the same.
Black people MUST CONFESS their SELFHATE before they can heal this community.
The healing will either be
1-Blacks admit they hate themselves and promise to NOT create mono-racial offspring
or
2-Blacks admit to self-hate and realize that self-hate is counterproductive to their well being and begin to unlearn self-hate and promise to teach their offspring to love themselves
@MeS. Ummm
1) why would women be laughing at jokes....at their own expense? Its because they agreed which is a byproduct of selfhate
2) girl, this shit predates rap. Blaming rap ISNT solving anything.
3)they weren't following Black mens lead. They (like Black men) were following White Supremacy's lead.
4)Black women should ALWAYS uplift and uphold their own image....but Im Blacks so I know for the ones that do, MOST DON'T. Don't let what you see online fool you. MOST Black women arent full of radical self-love.
5)BlackGirlMagic has been turned into a way of glorifying Black women struggling and ALWAYS doing labor for others. People called Black women voting for Biden "Black girl magic". The Natural hair movement is sadly dying. So many Black women are making the argument that they're going back to straightening their hair because styling their natural hair "just takes too much time"... but in my opinion the truth is the natural hair movement continues to uphold then image of biracial & mixed people. Instead of embracing natural afro textured hair, the movement glorified looser textures and so too many women became fixated on the needs of style their hair in a way that makes it appear more like a mixed womens.
6) the collective of black man (like the collective of black women) are poor... So what constitutes leader to you? I ask a question because oftentimes this type of commentary comes along with some ridiculous classism that doesn't make sense when you take Black American people history into context. Yall say men "arent leaders" just because they aremt upper middle class..... but I ask you, are the majority of our middle-class black men "leading" this community? No! And tbh the vast majority of Black people aren't willing to be led anywhere that makes sense or will be for the betterment of their well-being because that type of "leading" starts with confronting the reality of our lives as a relates to our socioeconomic status and our hatred of our racial and ethnic identities....and tbh most of us wanna ignore that shit because we feel the truth is too painful. A lot of this "we're ready to leave black man" is really just a flex to put Black man down and doesn't really work to center and uplift black women which brings me back to my original point. Just as black men wanna exercise antiBlackness against black women, so many black women just want to exercise antiBlackness against black men. This whole "we're done with black men" movement has led to so many young black women making fools of themselves begging nonBlack men to like them. In my opinion they look just as crazy as the black women begging black men to like them and the Black men FALLING all over themselves for nonBlack women who vote against their best interest as Black men
I'm for radical change and self love. This performative shit ain't it.
(Please forgive typos, Im using talk to text)
@MeS. 1)the average black American Woman is poor, does not have a college degree in struggling socioeconomically. You probably take that as a slight because you're uncomfortable with that truth.... but I'm not
2) you can say biracial women hijack the natural hair community but I have always paid attention to the natural hair community. The hair that sits atop biracial women's heads has always been the standard of beauty and that predates the natural hair movement.... which is exactly why it led into the natural hair community. It's literally why so many black women with 4C hair who made natural hair videos eventually left the community. Because the other black woman with Type 4 hair were busy watching biracial women and women with a high substantial non-black admixture who have incredibly loose textured hair. Again the entire black community needs to unlearn this antiBlack beauty standard
3) you literally missed my point. Women are not saying they are leaving the natural Community because caring for their hair is hard, they're literally saying they would rather have straight hair because they're tired of prepping their hair for things like twist outs or braid outs and not liking the finished product. Not liking the way your hair turned out is not the same as your hair being too difficult to manage. The standard is still a loose texture appearance and so many women seem to be tired of trying everything they can to imitate a looser texture with their natural curl pattern and it not coming out looking the way they wanted. That is not the same as simple hair care for the sake of hair health.
4) the majority of nonblack women are not going out of their way to look Black. What people call blackfishing is really mixed race fishing. Those women are trying to appear like racially ambiguous mix women... And tbh its literally only a handful of nonBlack women doing it. That is a fight that mixed race women need to fight, not black women.
5) yes goofball. That is my point. Shame on the black community for willingly participating in anti black white supremacist rhetoric! Yes LOL. And Black women have not and do not continue to support that nonsense just because they "wanna hold a brotha down". They support that anti-Black foolishness because they too are anti-Black. I have literally sat in groups of black people and listen to black women refer to mixed race women and nonblack women as being inherently more pretty than black women, as having nicer features than black women and as having better hair than black women ....... all to my dismay.
I am continually impressed with how artful you are with your words. You summed up so succinctly what the real issue is. I’m so grateful that I found your UA-cam channel. God bless you sister.
she's so good!
Exactly she’s amazing at what she does.
Yes God bless her!
Actually, she didn't... the real issue is BW not being honest with themselves about why they are least desired, and how they project their insecurities on others.
@@KtotheG
One commenter posted an Asian American dude saying, while making an exception, that he didn't usually date BW. Yes, there are Black Women who have insecurities (a lot of women of other races principally have these as well) This poster voiced hers in most of her vids and her concerns are legit, for the most part. I believe she is honest in her claims so it baffles me after listening to her how no intelligent man out there would not at least have an initial lasting extensive back and forth discourse with her. I think she is definitely worth long term consideration.
His rage probably stems from the fact that his preferences typically don’t prefer him (unless he has money, but it doesn’t look like it…).
There will always be a nonBlack women who wants him
@@13579hee replace non black with desperate
@@13579hee yes, WM rejects.
@Nikey did I ever say there was anything special about him?🤔 no I didn't
@@daniella8400 ummmm no. There are surely non Black woman who would take him.
Also, Imo most women are desperate for men..... and idk why
And I love seeing a black woman go where she is appreciated. Because the same black man who will bash a black woman will be the same black man shaming her for dating a white dude. Not our fault you can’t meet our rising standards for ourselves.
You said that RIGHT--> Go where you ARE appreciated ❗🛑 begging IDIOTS to give you a chance.
Exactly. Especially if you’re publicly always stating that you don’t want bw then they will go and look somewhere else
The thing is I don’t assume a BM wants to date a BW. In fact I assume the opposite and I can’t be the only one. I think he just posted that to advertise himself to non BW.
I never understood how men are so concerned about the dating habits of women they claim not to be interested in. If you don't like black women, why are you worried about who we're dating? You should be glad non black men are taking us off of your hands. But no, black men need us to be waiting there to take them back after Becky, Ming Lee, and Maria kick them to the curb. Black men need black women to be the clean up woman.
Also, you can't call me a bed w_____ if you're laying next to Becky yourself. If you're going to be against interracial relationships, be against it in all shapes and forms.
@@ladonna1902 when men from other races want you it makes BM's argument that BW are undesirable void, that is why they get so annoyed.
BM totally get it! THEY JUST DON'T CARE!
The sooner BW understand this, the better of everyone will be.
This!!! There’s no need to even talk to them. A lot of them are lost and should be left where you found them. No where to go but up ⬆️.
I make the mistake of talking to a group of these red-pill-losers. I wanted to hear "their" side of the story........ and it was pretty FRIGHTENING. There was no distinction between them and a group of nazi.
- unreasonable.
- sad.
- no desire to face relaity
-They are their own worst enemy.
This is what they want, so I'm gonna leave them to it. They aren't needed in my life or anyone's.
Yep. Not a care in the world. Until they face some form of racism, and then they want us to march for them and show support. Then they go right back to the shenanigans.
@Pookie's Partna Ray Ray -- Ironically, the game IS up.... you just haven't figured it out yet.
@Pookie's Partna Ray Ray --- First, you don't have to be so cliche demonstrating how SCARED YOU ARE that no one is interested in you.
Second, if BM have "tons" of options, then why do you need to announce to anyone that you have them? Use them... and move on.
BW who sweep away the dust... do FIANCIALLY BETTER, along with being Happily Married. (as the data shows.)
So, go on and implement your so-called options... Sweetie, because BM are going to need them. (Hell, you already have nothing.)
Good luck.
There's a very popular belief that you shouldn't question people's preferences, because people should be "allowed" to have whatever standards they do. It's popular, of course, because it lets everyone off the hook for whatever standards they have, no matter how shallow, plain unreasonable, or badly informed. Honestly, I think people should be pushed more to analyze and critique their standards and the origins of them, and really consider what hills they're going to die on.
It's that, "mind your business" nonsense.
Exactly
It's a double-edged sword. Some preferences truly are rooted in prejudice. Others are just a natural/biological inclination that can't really be explained.
@@morselsofgold Those biologically inclined don't make it a duty to announce the fact. And usually, they have dated from different spectrums. At that point, it's a matter of who they "found themselves" loving. Not who they went out of their way to date.
Same goes for "iT's jUSt mY oPiNiON!!!".
What I always think about in situations like this is that many people don’t realize how they are indirectly getting harmed. See in moments where black women are directly harmed such as when black men are being colorists, disparaging black women or encouraging non-black people to do the same, I sit back and chuckle a bit.
The same men who are colorist towards dark skin black women don’t realize that their colorism towards us is what gets them punished harsher in court than their lighter counterparts. Using terms like aggressive and masculine is what results in people being hostile towards them in public, including police.
Then there’s non-black women who revel in their disrespect for black women not realizing that they will get treated the same way as us. If he can’t respect the women he came from what makes you think you’ll get any respect? Then they’ll turn to us as if we are obligated to feel sorry for them.
That’s just one case, the other is that the non-black women who were emboldened to vocalize their hatred for black women also hate black men too or just fetishize them but felt they could at least get something from those black men. That is how we ended up with Facebook videos of non-black women calling their black male partners the N-word or calling their biracial children the n-word.
People see how black women are harmed directly and don’t care, but they haven’t realized that they are harming themselves indirectly when they hate on Black women. 🤷🏾♀️🤡 I want those people to keep getting together cuz it truly does protect black women and usually their hatred of black women isn’t ever enough to keep their relationship afloat.
Wow. It's really crazy to think about when you put it that way.
This is exactly how I see it. There is peace in letting these fools spin their wheels trying to get reactions from or hate on BW. Let those fools be.
Exactly 💯. It goes both ways too, when some black women keep talking about especially dark skinned black men this or that.
I agree, black men who disparage black women in front of non black people are not going to get respect from them.
I only see black men regularly publicly express their disdain for black women. There's literally no other race who comes out on this mass scale to degrade or disparage their women. It hurts me that as a race...we seem so divided. Can we stop hiding under "my preference is....." There's a clear difference from stating a preference vs being disparaging.
Umm I think why that biracial woman proclaimed her love of white man was because she knows she’s usually the PREFERENCE for black men. This is black men’s plight. When black men talk ish about black women you don’t see a pool of black men ready to tell him wear he’s wrong. Biracial, latina, other non black women KNOW they are black men’s preference because black men proclaim it from the mountain tops. It’s in songs, all over social media, and in our faces. Let the biracial woman also proclaim her preference.
*where
Also I’m sorry, but A LOT of black men know they add the the plight of black women. A LOT of them know they’re adding to the negative stereotypes and images of black women. They aren’t dumb. A LOT of these men making so many negative and demeaning statements of black women are grown az men. Please don’t make an excuse for them like they’re unaware.
Great point!
Even my Spanish looking Arab friends tell me that they are black guy magnets. But my friends don't want them
I was thinking the same
He’s probably one of those black guys who will not even walk next to a black woman for fear a stranger will think they are together.
Preferences are never "just preferences". They didn't just fall out of our ass & most likely, they are shaped by social conditioning.
Exactly
@@userbeyou Facts. Especially when those preferences are far from what your own look like.
This part
people don't want to acknowledge this because they find it hard to understand that things that might feel innate, are instead conditioned
Everyone have preferences people only call it a prejudice when they aren’t anyone’s preference
I have never got the logic of bringing down people who are not your “preferences”. Like I don’t have to tell people i don’t find them attractive, especially unprompted.
Also, it’s the ultimate disrespect that they say it with. It tells me all I need to know about how they view women (as a whole). You don’t have to be sexually attracted to a woman to treat her like a human, but many of these men show their colours when they cant conceptualize that concept. I feel bad for their “preferences” as well because it dehumanizes them too. Their worth is reduced to capability to meet your sexual needs
Men (for the most part) only treat women nice they find sexually attractive. I've lost 125 pounds, I KNOW.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 exactlyyy. Men like this show bottom barrel behaviour
@@gluckwunschwinston5618 facts. An ugly truth.
@@gluckwunschwinston5618 Yeah but it's not always the case. Preferences are still treated badly too.
@@gluckwunschwinston5618 FACTS. I have experienced this as well, when I was a size 14/16, versus being a lot heavier now.
I mean, look at him. Is this really someone we're worried about losing? Definitely a throw away. Sure, I could have chosen to be the bigger person and kept my opinion to myself, but nah. It's Thanksgiving eve. Tis the season to be petty!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 his "preferences" don't want him like that, that's why he's making a video to scream it from the rooftops cuz he needs to make sure they know he's "available"...sooo available that he's also announcing that he's anti-blk to really prove how available he is! He's just a pinch short of even saying that he's not even blk HIMSELF to get the preferences RUNNING toward him!!! 😂😂😂😂😂
Was talking a guy that “didn’t date black girls” briefly, Oh man! Where do I start. I started asking him questions about his upbringing and his family and it boiled down to basically his mother/aunts were ghetto and he attributed all black women to be this. Then I said why are you interested in me and he said “oh your African so it’s different”!! What?? I told him he saw black women thru such a myopic lens. That there are so many versions of black women that were different then his mother and aunts. Side note: he was interested in me because he had an incident with his ex (non-black) who called the police on him. Cops came and in a domestic situation someone needs to be taken. He said it was in that moment that he realized he was Black. Yeah! Hard pass. I’m good.
Awesome
@@jbb8261 I think you’re projecting. Not everyone was abused or touch as a child. His family wasn’t abusive AT ALL! His mother LOVES him, it came off like he had more responsibility that a small child should not have. That a stable male figured would have. I actually met his mother randomly. They were SOOOO happy that I was BLACK. She talked my ear off, but I didn’t mind because I could tell how happy she was because I was black. There’s more to the story but his mom basically cleaned her act up, remarried a really nice guy but he had some issues with how female dominant his family was. Always made comments that made me uncomfortable. Even when I tried to correct him. He just had really negative views that he needed to address. Even told me once “I don’t have to date y’all”. It wasn’t my problem to solve 🤷🏾♀️ .
@@Dekthagr8 Did he ever tell you why she called the police on him?
@@jbb8261 but White and Latino men experience it also, but they don't go around posting their hate for White and Latino women.
my guess was he was emotionally abused by the women in his family. and he didnt want to tell that part because it would make him look weak
I remember I was at Starbucks today and I saw this really cute guy and I literally thought “does he like black girls?” Like we should think this sadly
Looking at your profile picture, you should have thought does he like beautiful women. I’m a black women, my son uses this profile to post videos. I’m not trolling! Lol
And yet mixed race and “exotic” women just know they can bag a black guy. White women don’t have to worry if white men like them. It’s backwards.
I find myself doing this too. In fact, if they are a certain age (30 and below) I actually ASSUME he's not. How sad!
I have a different take on this issue. As much as it hurts for some black women (not me; I have divested fully), I believe that these men voicing their preferences is a blessing in disguise. It allows for easier vetting of these men because if that's how they feel about you, they will not be good lovers to you anyways. I urge black women to get used to these videos and see them as an eye-opener instead of an attack on their self-esteem. This has been going on for decades; why are you still letting these videos hurt you?
I also think males who make these types of videos are begging to be noticed. Which is why we( the ones who care lol) should only listen but don’t react nor respond.
This is should be a red flag for their preferences really. These men are really just showing how much they really believe in stereotypes.
Why does her opinion offend you? Or make you feel some kind of way that you had to comment and ask her a presumptuous question? Let her be who she is and feel how she feels. Is that too much for you and people like you?
@Lady Bug we do, lol where?
@@MsElfMannequin same as divestors making videos about divesting.
Their preference is self-hate personified. In reality, men like this don't treat any race of women right even their preference.
Exactly! They don’t love themselves.
Girl, as wonderfully and thoroughly as you explained this, they (and you know who "they" are) still won't get it.
Even if they do, they will COMMIT to misunderstanding her ON PURPOSE because they want to "win."
As soon as I read the title, I clicked the LIKE button. I have been iterating the same thought process FOR YEARS., with this statement, "There is a difference between preference and prejudice," but nobody would pay attention. This: "I don't/won't date/I hate..." versus, "I prefer, but am open to dating..." makes the difference very clear. Thank you for the video.
Exactly! These males are not stating their preference for non bw but instead exposing their prejudice against bw.
Finally. A black woman that understands the nuance. VLM123, good post. Thanks for being balanced in your comment.
I am Latina, to answer your question about the Latino community and if whether or not the young men in our community put down Latinas…. I think the reason why we so often see Latinos and Latinas together in romantic relationships is because there is a lot of pride in our culture, and we tend to have the desire to one day share our culture to our future children, and this is easier to do when you are with someone within your own kind of culture. That being said, there is a lot of colorism within the Latino community, and so a lot of Latino men will prefer being with Latina women who are more white passing , and tend to push away women who have more indigenous or African features and darker skin tones.
Latina women tend to be more willing to date darker skin Latinos, and of course you can see machismo and the patriarchy at play with this because Latino men tend to not feel the same.
I can’t speak on the behalf of other races because it’s not my place, but It seems like in black, Asian, Latino communities, or any other community that isn’t white; the men seem to always feel entitled to express their prejudice openly and they are not afraid to bring down their women in order to express their prejudice in the name of making their communities “better”, and they don’t understand that it contributes to their oppression, especially here in the USA , or other white dominated countries
It’s prejudice if you feel like you need to share disparaging comments about the type of people you don’t date. For example, I am prejudiced against dusty men of all races and ethnicities.
Dusty men 😭😭😭
This is called being smart 😂😂
Crusty af
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I hear that 😂😂
I agree. Preferences are never just preferences. The least we can do is to acknowledge our internal bias and to try to work on them. Preferably, without dragging people who are not part of our "preferences".
Perfectly said!
Agreed!!! 💯💯
👍🏾Well said.
Absolutely 💯 💯
You want a short guy whos balding and overweight?
I think the payoff for men like him in making content like that are the repercussions you’re suggesting he think about. I believe the GOAL is to humiliate and humble Black girls and women in front of world and it’s not just a few. They’re on code in their aim to put us “in our place” so that they can finally measure up. Like you said, there is no other racial or cultural group of women on the face of the earth whose men publicly and privately reject and disrespect them. The question is, what are Black women going to do about it?
Buy guns. Bw are being killed by bm every 6 hours. Imagine the rage once the putting you in your place thing fails
@@SuperAnimecity Yeah we definitely need to exercise our 2nd amendment right. I also suggest that we start loving ourselves first, divest from blackistan and start defending each other.
Arm up and stop giving birth to black male children.
Thank you for this video! However, I think people who claim to not understand expressing disgust towards dating a certain race of people is problematic are just being disingenuous. They know why it’s problematic. They know it’s prejudiced. They also know it’s hurtful. Try making a tiktok about how black men, or white men or white women disgust you and you don’t want to date them and I promise you’ll have tons of people taking offense and voicing that to you.
But when a black woman expresses that they find it offensive to to hear people scream from the roof tops about how they would rather die than date a black woman everyone wants to play stupid and pretend they don’t understand why it’s offensive.
We live in the age of gaslighting.
Thank you for saying this! I get so tired and frustrated by people trying to "act" like they don't know their words and actions are hurting someone.. I actually believe the intent from the jump WAS to harm someone, but then they deny accountability to escape consequences when they're bs is called out.
Majority of people on tiktok are stupid 14 years olds. I think if you go to Instagram and make a poll there would be way more saying they like us than on tiktok. But I’m not denying it exists!!!
@@FiddleYourTiddle666 I’m not even on tik tok. But tbh I’ve encountered this feigned ignorance on all types of platform on social media including Facebook, Instagram, Twitter etc. People just want to to insult others and then play dumb and act like they don’t understand why people are offended.
@@ayemiksenoj5254 I definitely think their intention is to offend. I see this in particular with black men and boys who are going out of their way to announce to everyone that they think black women are undesirable and undateable.
@Jack Hartunian also, the word you were trying to use is “hypocritical”. I hope English isn’t your first language.
Nobody needs to make any kind of specific video/post about their personal racial, facial features, body type or skin tone preferences. You can do it, but it's weird and self-hating when you start dumping on your own people.
yea he's giving off "pick-me" vibes
If his "preference" was really coming for him in drones, he would feel no need to make a video announcing his preference and dumping on women of his own skin color.
If you’re talking about your preference, why do you need to mention those who aren’t your preference? That guy was gaslighting.
You struck a cord in me when you spoke about our black baby girls. I have a 13 yr old, brown skinned girl with kinky hair, and from the time that I thought that she could understand... I started telling her how amazing she is and how Beautiful her skin is, and that her hair is like a crown, etc. As she got older, I also explained that the world may not see her in that way. I never want her to come across that type of demeaning video, but if she does.. I know that she knows her worth.. Thank you!
I wonder if asking the men to stop posting problematic content in order to protect our baby girls is really the wisest path? I think that puts the power of our girls' well-being in the hands of faulty human beings. Instead, I wonder if it would be better to teach our girls that their value lies in their Maker because the works of His hands are wonderful. I think appealing to broken men to "please, do better for the sake of the babies" is and has been a lost cause. This video is an implied appeal to men to validate women and girls. The man in this video is, in his own way, also appealing to others to validate him. He can't give to anyone what he himself is still seeking after. I'd think it preferable to be validated by the One who offers the highest validation there is to be had. Aiming to be validated by people is misguided and a goal too low.
I understand your point, but why not do both? I agree that girls should be raised to know their value and their worth, but men should know our value as well, and when they demonstrate their ignorance be called out on it. This isn't as much about being validated by men as it is about demanding that we be treated with a basic level of decency and respect. It also isn't just about this one man, it's about the numerous other black boys & men that will see his video and be influenced by it. This reminds me of that old notion about parents loving their sons but raising their daughters. Society is constantly preaching to women about how to be better women but has completely given up on teaching men how to be decent men and this is the result. So even when girls are taught to love and value themselves they grow up and find themselves in a world where they're the only ones who do.
@@4u2cre8 I feel the same way, too. We always talk about teaching our girls but not teaching the boys anything. I feel both black girls and boys need to see positive images of black women. Sometimes I feel boys need to see these images more than the girls because they're the ones who are going out there pursuing every race of woman but his own. I believe that self hate starts at an early age. Black boys start making fun of black girls at elementary school age. When little boys start disparaging black girls for simply being black, they need to be gathered up and that mess needs to be nipped in the bud.
I highly agree with you. Let’s build up our children confidence by giving frequent words of affirmation. We also need to be honest with our children about the abuse and dysfunction regarding our population. That way they’ll be prepared to deal with these perplexing tactics accordingly.
Holding black men accountable for the young ones is the least black women can do. Even if black men choose to never be better men they have to be held accountable for their actions. Thrusting the already placed responsibility to raise healthy minded black girls on black women is giving me gaslighting vibes. Black women are out here doing it all. It's ok to request a broken black man to hold up his end of the community, it won't break him any more than he already is. Besides, black women are broken too, but she has to hold up her end or else you what will happen if she doesn't.
I feel like a real man won’t look at color but at quality. Im seeing many black women leaving undeserving black men in the dust and dating outside our race because the quality of a lot of black men are..less than par. But we don’t brag about it. Black men are the only fish in the sea who like to announce who they prefer and who they don’t. It’s giving insecure and unstable and “I need help”.
👌🏿! Only beta, weak minded, insecure males focus on skin color for peer recognition.
@destiny walker. You speak the truth… their is really no loss here …let these mentally unstable bottom of the barrel self hating boys go. These are not the kind of guys any women who is of sound mind would want anyway! This is a blessing !!! It really is 😊
Agreed! I honestly don't think that BW prefer to date "out". I think they see it as a last resort because they weren't successful finding a decent BM. When BW date out, it's not a brag usually. I'd say it's more "I had to expand my options because I had no other choice and now I'm relieved that things might be looking up."
Preferences is our protection.
Amen
uh from what?
@@collapsingwavefunction_.3356 Exactly. From what indeed?
@@collapsingwavefunction_.3356 from men who hate themselves and will eventually hate you
@@NG-zb6cb oh. The straight ones. Got it.
Im honestly so glad that more and more black women are realising everything thats wrong with black media and black men towards us... we are slowly ALSO going to start creating content AGAINST them
@tommy she was mixed!(if you listen) those are y’all preferences!!
@@NG-zb6cb you know BM are tone deaf, a biracial preference who doesn’t want them suddenly becomes black lol but if the preference wanted them she would be called anything but black
I’m neutral when it comes to this topic because I’m biracial. But, I just want to take a stance for the BM. The content is already out there against BM. I think BM get the most negative comments from media towards them. Being a BM is rough. From my experience, BW are equally to blame, possibly even more so, for this narrative. From my experience, they are the ones that are more openly vocal against dating BM than vice versa. The group that seems to make the most outrageous comments are the BW. BW seem to have this attitude that dating white guys moves them up a level in society and when they do date, a white guy, the whole world needs to know about it. I think BM along with Asian guys are the most marginalized segment of our population. I think they are tired of hypergamy and having girls date them temporarily, only to be dumped, when a “better” opportunity comes up. So, that is why we are in a matrix where BM feel angry and they are starting to make these outrageous comments. This back and forth is really damaging the reputation of the black community.
@tommy that’s not something often tho I can show u hundreds of videos of blk men doing it. It’s predominantly something black men do with black women it’s rare n probably just a reaction
@@pablogutierrez4817 that’s bs. It’s actually a study that u can find yourself that black women are receive the most negative comments regarding this topic. Black women also date within their race more than any race and black men date more than half out their race than black women so all that u are saying is bs. N predominantly black men are the ones making negative videos vs blk women n that’s proven by research.
I get what you're saying and people's prejudice or "preferences" are problematic especially when they are trying to spread their rhetoric.Yet at this point I'm just like forget them. Let them limit themselves. That's one less black person being with someone that might be abusive because in all actually they don't really like them.
You make a good point. Like Kanye West not stressing out a black woman is a blessing, ok? 😆
This is all well and good, but it won't make any difference. The BM who do this, do it on purpose. They feel that if they degrade BW (1) They'll be elevated and (2) They want BW's self esteem to be rock bottom, so that they can go back to them whenever. As Jordan Petersen says men are acutely aware of their place in the dominance hierarchy. And BM are at the bottom and as he states, it's more violent at the bottom. Hence the rage, anger, hate spewed in BW's direction. It's got nowhere else to go.
I'm with Cyn G here. Nobody else pays any attention to what BM say. Not sure why BW do.
Sometimes the "Pay Them No Mind" strategy is the best one.
Well stated. I agree.
People who feel the need to announce their preference are either overcompensating or secretly feel guilty about their preference. I have never felt the need to announce I prefer brown men, I just dated and then married one. My husband is mestizo and I've always connected with and been attracted to hispanic, latino, south asian and brown men in general, though I never actively excluded Black or white men, it's just who I noticed more and who seemed to notice me as well.
Preferences just mean you tend to like one type more than the other, they are not exclusionary. A lot of Black men actively exclude Black women from their dating pool, even if they find her attractive. It's no longer a preference for them, it's just misogynoir and colorism/racism.
I grew up assuming it was necessary to ask if someone "liked black girls". That shit is not normal. THAT'S why this is a problem. If it was really a random chance preference, they wouldn't feel the need to blast it out online.
Sometimes I feel like I’m living in the twilight zone the way people try to pretend like their “preferences” are not based on internalized racism. The doll study showed how black 6 year olds “preferred” the white dolls over black dolls because they thought they had better attributes (prettier, nicer and smarter). We are indoctrinated from a young age that the “whiter” the better. It’s sad that black men are allowed to degrade black women, cause harm and never be held accountable for their prejudice. Yet black women are expected to accept and defend black men no matter what.
Preferences are inherently influenced by society, we are a product our enviroment and I think that everyone who disagrees is playing dumb
Solo trips are bomb! And people are surprisingly nice about offering to take photos.
Regarding prejudice pretending to be preferences, 100% yes. When I was in my 20s, young black guys told to me to my face that I'm not pretty because dark skin isn't trendy. They were just as brown as I am, but somehow my skin is a problem? These were not guys I was trying to date, I never talked about my love life around them, I never asked if they thought I was attractive. They just felt like it was ok to announce their preferences and tell me I don't meet their standards for beauty. Um, who asked??
I guess they figure most of us will internalize their beliefs because they themselves are impressionable. But either way it doesn’t give them the right to verbally abuse us.
I think, the years of gangstah RAP made an impact
@@kathleenking47 Absolutely
Solo trips to Europe... best thing I ever did, and the only place where I was actually treated like a "black queen".
I tell people all the time. My issue with alot people isn't due to their perceived "preference" (even if that is rooted in some type of problematic behavior or thinking). Its a issue when you have to bring down something or someone else to solidify that preference!
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Exactly! If people are loudly vocalizing that they don’t like someone, maybe there’s something hiding under the “preference”
A friend of mine is a dark skin black woman, when we teens she had a vague interest in dating black men, but this never worked out...they were either deeply colorist regardless of their skin tone, made her feel that she should be grateful or they simply weren't interested. She had much better luck with white men and so she continued to date them. As a result, she specifies her preference for White men only.
The crazy part is I can’t play a certain song or upload a certain filter, or TikTok will shadow ban me like I held up a arsenal in the video…but these are the type of videos that get through and get viewed up! It’s crazy! Steph you really the realist on UA-cam!
They really shadow ban you for certain songs and filters? It’s crazy the type of stuff that I see on there
He didn’t even “state his preference “ he stated his NON preference that’s the issue lol. Looking at the tik tok we still don’t know who he actually PREFERS we only know who he doesn’t
yesssss exactly, same thought.
You ain’t lie not one bit 👀🤷🏽♀️
A preference means. I like these two things, but if I had a choice, I prefer this thing. These folks are stating their prejudices.
Webster’s Dictionary definition of preference:
1. a greater liking for one alternative over another or others.
"he chose a clock in preference to a watch"
Ever since your pretty privilege video I’ve fallen in love with your passion and content. Please keep up the great work!
if anyone has "preferences", it means they really don't view potential mates as human beings. RUN!
This might sound a little mean but… being unwanted by a group of men that are the most incarcerated, most underemployed, and most uneducated is not a bad thing. I am okay with it. A-OKAY!
That is such a good point.
I agree
Literally, like thank god 😂
Sometimes it feels like those are the most sought after group of men.
YES! Thank you God. I am a doctoral student and I’m happily married to my white husband. I’ve only used “black” dudes for sex and nothing more.
Very well said, heartfelt, and well done. On behalf of all the little black girls who've been injured by this trend, I thank you.
I never thought about the little baby girls seeing something like that on tiktok. But yeah now that you mention it, that's so horribly sad and my heart breaks for them.
Beautifully spoken.
I remember this little boy who splashed water in my face at a pool because I was darker than my friend. He was so nice to her and mean to me. These ideas are taught young and are ingrained in our culture.
Real talk 💯. When I was a teenager, I wasn’t the preferred choice for a lot of boys in my environment and it made me question my worth. I still struggle through this at 35 years of age and I’ve started seeking therapy because I have issues with people and the value that I have to them all because of rude and hateful comments about me.
Girl, I went through the same thing too with guys and still struggling. Am also 35 and sometimes wonder if am going to be in my 50s with self esteem/worth issues.
What's interesting is that when I was in H.S. in Brooklyn in the early 2000s, there were actually a lot of Latina girls who would proclaim that they don't date Latin boys - that they only date black guys. They would say they were bored with dating what they grew up around or saw every day. That they wanted something different. I saw an early interview with Cardi B where she said the same thing. I just always found it interesting.
BM: B-but Cardio B is a BW. 🥴
@@moniqueloomis9772 in the interview that is how she was referring to herself 😕
The truth you speak.
I have seen that kind of prejudice with Asian Women talking negatively about Asian Men, but other than Asian and Black Communities I don't think this whole "Talking Bad About X Gender of Your Race" phenomenon is a thing. I don't see it really with Latinos/Whites/Native Americans etc...
Is it prejudice or self hatred, internalized racism.
It's both self hatred/internalized racism evolves into prejudice against your own phenotype. They hate their features so why would they want to date someone who mirrors them. Always remember two things can be right at once, it doesn't have to be either or.
I was criticized for waiting to take my child to Disney. I knew my son would not remember it so I waited until he was 6 years old and he told me when he was ready to go. We were walking out the gate at 12:30pm. It was great!!!
Honestly, that’s the best way to do it!!!
Strongly agree. Preferences stop existing when you go out of your way to disrespect a whole group. A lot of black men that agree with putting down black women to state who they like are usually the first ones to throw a hissy fit over a black woman dating a man of another race. Exhibit A: Megan The Stallion and G-Eazy. I don’t know what that was but a lot of black men were up in arms about the white rapper being all over her when at the start of her career blowing up, those men accused her of being a transgender woman.
I’m learning to beware of black men who passively aggressively talk about dark skin as well. For instance, when black men (especially medium and dark brown) call me chocolate I take that as “ you not what I prefer or you pretty for a dark girl”. Why, because it’s stupid to mention my skin tone when yours is the same. Why even approach a dark skin, no booty having, fat, skinny, short, tall or etc. woman if you’re not attracted to her? Only men who are rejects would settle in their mind for a woman that’s not their type?
For the bm who have to announce their disapproval of bw on social media, I don’t get it. Just date what you like and keep it moving. It seems like they want a reaction from us. I say just ignore them.
Never looked at it like that. I’ve always been irritated by men who call me chocolate, light or dark. If I’m in the streets, I’ll walk right past them. I had someone tell me that I should be thankful. It’s nothing to be thankful for though.
I honestly don’t think BM care about how little black girls feel because a lot of them see them as Black WOMEN, and you know how they feel about black Women.
It's literally now out in the open of the prejudice against their OWN race🤷🏽♀️ Preference fools are a WASTE OF TIME to even speak to them.
None of this is new. The history of white supremacy has created within the black community and anti Black Beauty standard and sadly it's been rotting away black people's brains for a very long time
@@13579hee Sorry but at this point it's pure hate for self seeing no value in each other. White ppl seem to not have a hold on most of us not to say that BS.
I'm a brown latina. I grew up in a predominitly white area feeling like I'd never be good enough because of my ethnicity, the same way many black girls and other girls of color feel. It affected me a lot. But it wasn't until I watched this video that I realized that hate never came from latino boys. There are some latino boys who will say that latinas have to much of an attitude and they'd rather have submissive white girls, but I never felt like it was the majority.
This isn't about preference, it's about hate. Some black woman has hurt this man and he's trying to get payback. I might be a black woman, but I'm not the momma that didn't hug him enough or whatever caused his dysfunction. He needs to get off TicTok and go find himself a good therapist.
@@narlywaves2371 You really should have kept reading.
@@MissKashira Therapy? You need it. There are black people like you are mean
The amount of times i was checking for an update last months and now I have two more videos to watch.
I'm thankful you are back 😊
Let their preferences have them it is no loss to black women its funny how black men are so delusional to think there are all these other races of women who want them when nothing could be farther from the truth I have had so many female friend of all races and not one ever expressed interest in dating black men if not all preferred dating within their community I was never bothered and black women date who loves you
The only people who don't get it at this point are willfully obtuse. It's not a preference, its a requirement often based in harmful stereotypes. Preferences don't show themselves in this way.
It's always the unattractive ones.
No.....tons of attractive people feel that same
@@13579hee what do u look like? Second off course u don’t hear of wimen that are seen as more beautiful, I mean they benefit from it. Until it hits them than they speak up. As men we could say the same about u. But ur position as man gives u a privilege that u chose and don’t get chosen so I think this convo is too deep for u
@@13579hee Huge lie. And you simply don’t know many people
@@FiddleYourTiddle666 Shut up.
I feel like the people who feel the need to say it are always the people who don't have the attention of their preferences. They need to state who their preferences are because their preferences don't want them and they hope by putting black women down the women they prefer will see it as a compliment.
I just went and commented on his ig pics his name is Leekhard. And sheesh the self hate is so evident. From the light colored contacts to the many pics with only beckies. He is truly lost and hates himself. Soooo sad.
You gave him the reaction he was looking for being doing that a “reaction”
@@doxxed4796 you have no idea what I commented so why are u jumping to conclusions ? Please get off my comment with negativity.
@@hdeniro1106 I’m just saying you gave him the attention he was looking for , that’s why they make those types of videos their fishing for a reaction, any reaction, a dud that by looking up his insta and going to his page to make a comment
“And you did
Recently a blk man approached me, with interest, and he asked me if I dated blk men. It honestly kinda hurt, hearing him ask and that he had to ask. But I understand the current racial divided preferential climate we're currently in. It's Unfortunate.
It hurt who? You? Girl please put yourself first and stop protecting them, how many Black women have to ask bm this daily for how many decades 🤦🏾♀️
Anyone notice when black men state their preference it has something to do with black women and their problems with them? As if it's some sort of excuse..for example- i like non black women bc black women are so XYZ. I'm like work you ish out at home and get out of my mixed face. Don't come to my face saying you only like me bc black women aren't acting the way you want.
Even black women who date out, if you ask them why, black men will not be apart of the answer. They will just name attributes of their partner that lead them to prefer them. Black men practice exclusion and obsession, not preference. And tbh that's a good thing. Bc they aren't magically healed by dating out. They just moving their baggage to another place. So wave, and say bon voyage.
This was great, Stephanie. You were clear and unemotional and took all the high roads. *MY* first thought when I saw his picture was "As if!" But I like that you didn't say anything about him or his desirability. I am a Black woman whose white male preference is partly born out of this type of rejection trauma, as well as where I was raised. I find I purposefully don't look at Black men when I pass them because I don't want their egos to tell them that I'm interested. It's not true. But where I would have added to the meanness, you didn't and I'm impressed.
Keep an open mind. Marry who u luv,and who loves u!!
Oh Stephco! Thank you so much for continuing to post content, I so look forward to your videos! Thank you for this 💕
Getting my Oh Steph fix for the week ❣️
Thanks for making these videos keep going the universe will reward you immensely someday !!
Comments and even silent attitudes like these are inherently misogynistic. Misogyny doesn't happen in a bubble -- just because they are spewing anti-black misogyny the loudest doesn't mean that once they're with nonblack women they suddenly become desirable partners. While comments like this are directed at black women, it says a lot about how they view women in general. I understand why it's hurtful to black women, because it really hurts me too. But is a BM seeing you merely as an object existing to satisfy his desires really a better option? Is being "chosen" by crusty, unstable, misogynistic, classless, saggy nipple men REALLY the better option????? It's just a psychological trick, because a valuable man would never say stupid stuff like this about you or anyone else for that matter. Their rejection is our protection. Period.
Please say this loud for the people in the back. These are bottom feeders, abusive people. It doesn’t matter who they are with. The hate that they spew towards people is their personality and when you no longer serve a purpose, you will be discarded. The nature in itself is abusive period and should be seen as a red flag 🚩
@@AshzxQuidYT YES!! 👏👏👏💯
And that's on periodt👌🏾
Well said . Great synopsis
Agreed! PREACH!!!
I love how niche and detailed you are about this stuff, like you don't just generalize you go into depth of what it looks like and what can look like it but isn't.
I love how you made sure to explain your point as you get your coin. Savvy business move while also cathartic. I'm loving your videos!
Off topic, but girl you and your channel are so inspiring!! Your consistency and dedication to uploading always leaves me in awe. I just wish I could be that tenacious with my channel 😭😭
You've been giving us so much content lately! Thank you for your hard work! ❤️
BM are learning this from their peers. Heterosexual males are more concerned with how other heterosexual males feel about the women they're with or are attracted to. Notice how certain ethnicities of women become trendy for men to date and marry(i.,e Japanese, Russian and Latina women).
The reason BM attack BW instead of just dating their preference is because of sexual competition. These BM may not want BW but they also don't want anyone else to want BW either. No competition. Hence, why BM become so viscerally angry when they see a BW with a nonBM especially if he's White. They want to be able to date nonBlack partners while not having to compete with nonBM at all even for the BW they claim not to want. BM want the dating market arena tipped in their favor(not equal) and it looks as though society is obliging them.
Facts
Wow Steph that is something I never thought about. How many young black girls; teens to early twenties that would potentially see these type of videos. They are RIFE on TikTok and would be so damaging to their self esteem. Having to navigate a digital world where people blatantly say they don’t like you. At least when I was younger I wouldn’t know unless I asked them! Now it’s served to you on a platter; the interwebs! Jeeezz
Right. Social media definitely has a dark side because people can bully another anonymously.
I'm a black girl and i would have loved to have gotten this "awakening" now rather than later. The way i used to simp/worship BM in the past is embarrasing. I'm thankful for youtubers like Steph's for putting me on game early on because i'm still kind of young (19) imagine how many bw are out here unknowingly broadcasting their love for color-struck bm lol.
Divest social media is filled with Black women and girls who saw how the internet treated them in the early 2000s and 2010s…I’d be shocked if the next generation of BW doesn’t do like Asian women and start dating out at 50+ per cent.
Girl i don’t even respond to Tyrones in comment sections PERIODT. I don’t waste my time on dust and don’t date them.
Hey cutie pie ! Happy thanksgiving eve
I definitely feel compelled to share this w/ my friends . You spoke so eloquently and made great empathetic points ♥️
I agree. Disclosing one’s preference in the open is tacky. Similarly to how conversations surrounding sex, money, and medical history are seen as taboo
You are so bright and insightful Stephco. This needed to be said for sure and you articulated it so well.
How you record all these in depth videos all at the same time, immaculate! 👌🏽Kudos to you, Steph!
He looks awful. I do not think I'd like to date him, either.
That never need part, I truly love that, thank you. You never need to hurt someone’s feelings, this is true, and I wish we all learned this, and walked it out in our lives. Honestly the trickle down effect is why PARENTS have to make it a requirement to make sure you show your children love, pure love so that they will love theirselves and none on this earth can make or break them. It starts with our young.
I don't date or entertain blk men. If I MUST speak with them...it's usually a forced interaction. Afterwards I'm back to ignoring their presence. 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
The only black man I speak to is my brother, if I see a black man I immediately look away. If you don’t want me, I don’t want you either. Plain and simple and watch me walk away holding my white husbands hand!
🤔 That’s how you treat a whole race of men? Disgusting 🤮
Same here!
I can understand you not dating bm. But not entertaining them? Why not be nice to everyone, including bm? If you own a store, would you bar bm from buying your product?
Notice how when black women say this shit, it's perfectly okay. Oh, hypocrisy. It's everywhere.