This happened to me but not the same situation. Fear and anxiety took over me and made me fear to lose my ex eventually made a little "controlling" and made me chase when all i wanted was just reassurance and connection
Great video 👍🏻 I fully can relate to everything being said here It’s great that we have Craig and Victoria To help us through our attachment issues Everything just takes time and we learn as we go Don’t worry things will be ok soon enough 👌🏻
I never outwardly expressed these things, when my ex would go out with the coworkers I just said have fun 💛 but internally i was really insecure about it
I don't think there's nothing wrong about having those emotions. It seems that the way you dealt with them was in a healthy manner. You didn't act on it and made the situation worse
Thank you for such a great video! I've been in this situation a few times in my life. It's very interesting for me to learn what the other "controlling" person is feeling and thinking. Ironically enough, in my personal experience, the man that were controlling and suspecting of cheating ended up being the cheaters themselves! Also, these controlling behaviours are bound to escalate and get worse and worse if not dealt with properly. For me this story ended up in a "happy ending" when he said that he is going to therapy. This can only be good regardless if they ended up getting back together or not. I wish the man that wrote this email all the very best! This is something that he can work on and it will make him an even better partner ♥
I am female but I can sort of see this guy's point. I have had exes who were way more focused on hanging out with their "friends" than in spending time with me. I sucked it up and did nothing, trying to be secure. Eventually they all had affairs and dumped me.
That’s right. I had this kind of fear too in my failed marriage. As the situation was over I got all the confirmation that my fear was totally legit. She cheated on me. So, sometimes it is not just a fear but seeing things through…
Yes you go into no contact until further notice. I was blocked a month half ago for about a month and a week. She blocked me on everything imaginable brody, but she still came back. If y’all had a good thing just with some issues here and there. She’ll come back to you my g. Stay strong even when it seems the most difficult 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾
In these cases I think you can at least send a message acknowledging the issue and then going no contact. Don't say you'll go no contact: "Sorry being disrespectful about your choice. When you change your mind, let me know" Walk away and don't look back.
@@henrique.campos once you’re blocked, that means they don’t want any contact with you. Going around a block is not a good look. She doesn’t need/or want to know your future plans. Once you’re blocked she has no more obligations to care about what you do and are planning to do. Just let it go until she reaches out or doesn’t and move on
One of these stories is just like me!!! When I was with her. I treated her the best. But when we was apart. I fell apart. Thought she cheating. But I have separation, abandonment issues. My parents passed away when I was 12 yrs old. Plus my ex wife cheated on me. This last 8 yr relationship. I will regret for the rest of my life. I had prayed hard for this girl. And my issues messed it up!!!! It hurts everyday
hey I have a question that is eating my from the inside, i have a textbook avoidant ex, obviously we had some issues and back then i didn't know the cause of it, so i made my own share of mistakes and it let to us falling apart... and right now she is hurting and confused, should I reach out after three weeks of no contact, to subtly let them know I understand what they are going through and I'm willing to make an effort to reconnect in a way that respects her needs and personal space?
This is bs, she shoulnt be hanging out with dudes from work in the first place, her inviting her man to meet them was just a way for her to make it seem like shes letting those guys know shes takes like they would give an F about it, she likes attention and she was testing her man, hope dude sees it for what it is , that woman aint worth shit
Or she invited her man, to let them know that she was not available. To make him know that she has nothing to hide from him. Social life is important too. When a woman is truly in love and connected emotionally she doesn't care about other people other than friendly way as a coworkers. especially if a woman is connected also in a spiritual way with a man, with values and sharing common hobbies and values, then she doesn't care about having a relationship with someone else because she is aware of the skills and values the partner has, for example if he is a kind person who is willing to help his friends, she sees his good heart and its not very possible she would dump such guy who has rare skills and personality. If he doesn't know what his values are on the spiritual level of friendships and humility and also part of his charisma is a sense of humor etc, then she may think there is something missing in the relationship etc.
I disagree with you. She wasn't going on dates with these man alone. Socialising is an important part of work too. Is she supposed to change jobs every time someone hits on her?
@@Romie15 The guy totally overreacted for sure. And she did invite him along. However, like I said I have had exes who were way too invested in hanging out with friends and trying extra hard to fit into some "cool" social group or another. It hurts. They always ended up cheating on me.
Wow this video and situation describes exactly how my marriage fell apart. Same thing with me…my wife started a new job that encouraged team outings outside of the office hours. She was hanging out with a lot of strange new guys…some of which were single. They would go out to bars regularly and she was out til 2 AM some nights…She’s very pretty herself and is bound to attract men. I became very jealous and insecure even despite her inviting me along a few times. I too became a “detective” and started snooping through her phone and laptop looking for signs of cheating. I found nothing and still kept going mad. Fights were happening every week all due to my insecurities. This went on for 3-4 months. And now my wife has demanded separation after 5 years of marriage and 11 years together. It’s brutal and I’m so glad i stumbled across this video and know that it can happen to others. I’m trying to work on myself and hoping we can reconcile. But right now it seems hopeless. It’s made worse by the fact that we have 2 young children. I want to do No Contact but it’s hard when you have to communicate for the sake of the kids…in any event, Thanks Coach Craig for all your work.
Not sure how this got on my feed, but I watched it. Clearly, he lost it and went over the line. He did well to recognize that she wasn't at fault and was refreshingly open and honest. However, everyday this guy knew that his girlfriend had several swinging you-know-what's after her and didn't care at all that she had a boyfriend. Clearly they had no respect for him, her or their relationship. At some point, as her man, it's gotta be addressed to them. What would you suggest? If you fail to try to protect her, then I would think she will stop feeling safe with you also.
You should do a video about what Women do that make Men feel unsafe. Almost all your videos are about things men do that make women loose attraction and never the opposite.Women do things wrong too. No one talks about this. Why? Why do we have to always teach men how to treat women right but never women how to treat men right.
You need to do a topic discussion of things that Women do that make men feel unsafe as well. I don’t think it’s talked about enough. Relationships aren’t one sided for attraction. I even think you covered this before in regards to Women’s need for safety.
Emotional control is a massive topic. A woman who just lashes out screams and throws things at you is something no man desires Laziness is another one, a woman who isn't excited to do stuff with you or for you, who wakes up 11AM and is tired all the time is plain ugly. Emotionless, or rather, forcing being "rational" or faking stoic behaviors is another thing. There's nothing prettier than a woman who knows what she feels and expresses it healthy, both positive and negative emotions: love through poems, songs, etc...fear by talking "I'm afraid of this/that, I fear [this] will happen" or by "hiding" herself behind the man, etc... Not being able to talk about her concerns for the future or current concerns and projecting into the man thinking that the man has some mind reading ability or future sight, instead of being mature and talk about plans and desires... Anyway, women who can't understand and display their femininity is just massive turn off
I had insecurities about my wife, starting with a lack of intimacy. I couldn’t help myself either, so I went through her messages and she was talking to her friends about ending our marriage. A few months down the track and she walked out. Women are liars.
When i was not beautiful for him, Now how i am beatiful for him. He showed his portrait, i did not like him . i hate him women says he is very handsome. I left him nothing seems beauti in him .There are many persons beautiful than him.
Get a coaching with me on my website AskCraig.net 💪
This happened to me but not the same situation. Fear and anxiety took over me and made me fear to lose my ex eventually made a little "controlling" and made me chase when all i wanted was just reassurance and connection
I'm sorry that you had to go through that and I hope that you're better ❤
@Romie15 thank you. Im doing better than before but i still miss her every now and then
When I had gone through the break up you & Margaret helped a lot. Thank you so much.
Hi great coach ! Had a session with the wonderful Victoria last week :)
She's awesome!
I trusted her and she flipping hurt me more than I can ever express
Great video 👍🏻
I fully can relate to everything being said here
It’s great that we have Craig and Victoria
To help us through our attachment issues
Everything just takes time and we learn as we go
Don’t worry things will be ok soon enough 👌🏻
I never outwardly expressed these things, when my ex would go out with the coworkers I just said have fun 💛 but internally i was really insecure about it
It's OK to feel, what you do with what you feel is what matters most.
I don't think there's nothing wrong about having those emotions. It seems that the way you dealt with them was in a healthy manner. You didn't act on it and made the situation worse
Thank you for such a great video! I've been in this situation a few times in my life. It's very interesting for me to learn what the other "controlling" person is feeling and thinking. Ironically enough, in my personal experience, the man that were controlling and suspecting of cheating ended up being the cheaters themselves! Also, these controlling behaviours are bound to escalate and get worse and worse if not dealt with properly. For me this story ended up in a "happy ending" when he said that he is going to therapy. This can only be good regardless if they ended up getting back together or not. I wish the man that wrote this email all the very best! This is something that he can work on and it will make him an even better partner ♥
Back in the old days, a woman would never go out at night without her husband. This is biological
I am female but I can sort of see this guy's point. I have had exes who were way more focused on hanging out with their "friends" than in spending time with me. I sucked it up and did nothing, trying to be secure. Eventually they all had affairs and dumped me.
TRAITOR must be accountable and face the consequences of their betrayal of you. Traitors are crazy
That’s right. I had this kind of fear too in my failed marriage. As the situation was over I got all the confirmation that my fear was totally legit. She cheated on me. So, sometimes it is not just a fear but seeing things through…
She blocked me now cuz i kept chasing. How do i repair from this? I know i know no contact for life right?
Yes you go into no contact until further notice. I was blocked a month half ago for about a month and a week. She blocked me on everything imaginable brody, but she still came back. If y’all had a good thing just with some issues here and there. She’ll come back to you my g. Stay strong even when it seems the most difficult 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾
In these cases I think you can at least send a message acknowledging the issue and then going no contact. Don't say you'll go no contact:
"Sorry being disrespectful about your choice. When you change your mind, let me know"
Walk away and don't look back.
@@henrique.campos once you’re blocked, that means they don’t want any contact with you. Going around a block is not a good look. She doesn’t need/or want to know your future plans. Once you’re blocked she has no more obligations to care about what you do and are planning to do. Just let it go until she reaches out or doesn’t and move on
He had hyper vigilance
He had an insecurity issue lol
Love your content ! 🙏🏽
One of these stories is just like me!!! When I was with her. I treated her the best. But when we was apart. I fell apart. Thought she cheating. But I have separation, abandonment issues. My parents passed away when I was 12 yrs old. Plus my ex wife cheated on me. This last 8 yr relationship. I will regret for the rest of my life. I had prayed hard for this girl. And my issues messed it up!!!! It hurts everyday
Have you considered doing my Knowledge Workbooks or Creative Healing Course?!
@@CoachCraigKenneth no I haven't had much time to look into it. But I will
hey I have a question that is eating my from the inside, i have a textbook avoidant ex, obviously we had some issues and back then i didn't know the cause of it, so i made my own share of mistakes and it let to us falling apart... and right now she is hurting and confused, should I reach out after three weeks of no contact, to subtly let them know I understand what they are going through and I'm willing to make an effort to reconnect in a way that respects her needs and personal space?
What is the turnaround time for email coaching?
This is bs, she shoulnt be hanging out with dudes from work in the first place, her inviting her man to meet them was just a way for her to make it seem like shes letting those guys know shes takes like they would give an F about it, she likes attention and she was testing her man, hope dude sees it for what it is , that woman aint worth shit
Or she invited her man, to let them know that she was not available. To make him know that she has nothing to hide from him. Social life is important too. When a woman is truly in love and connected emotionally she doesn't care about other people other than friendly way as a coworkers.
especially if a woman is connected also in a spiritual way with a man, with values and sharing common hobbies and values, then she doesn't care about having a relationship with someone else because she is aware of the skills and values the partner has, for example if he is a kind person who is willing to help his friends, she sees his good heart and its not very possible she would dump such guy who has rare skills and personality.
If he doesn't know what his values are on the spiritual level of friendships and humility and also part of his charisma is a sense of humor etc, then she may think there is something missing in the relationship etc.
I tend to agree. She made some mistakes too.
I disagree with you. She wasn't going on dates with these man alone. Socialising is an important part of work too. Is she supposed to change jobs every time someone hits on her?
@@Romie15 The guy totally overreacted for sure. And she did invite him along. However, like I said I have had exes who were way too invested in hanging out with friends and trying extra hard to fit into some "cool" social group or another. It hurts. They always ended up cheating on me.
why tell your partner about the other guys? If it's not important?. It only made him anxious.
Wow this video and situation describes exactly how my marriage fell apart. Same thing with me…my wife started a new job that encouraged team outings outside of the office hours. She was hanging out with a lot of strange new guys…some of which were single. They would go out to bars regularly and she was out til 2 AM some nights…She’s very pretty herself and is bound to attract men. I became very jealous and insecure even despite her inviting me along a few times. I too became a “detective” and started snooping through her phone and laptop looking for signs of cheating. I found nothing and still kept going mad. Fights were happening every week all due to my insecurities. This went on for 3-4 months. And now my wife has demanded separation after 5 years of marriage and 11 years together. It’s brutal and I’m so glad i stumbled across this video and know that it can happen to others. I’m trying to work on myself and hoping we can reconcile. But right now it seems hopeless. It’s made worse by the fact that we have 2 young children. I want to do No Contact but it’s hard when you have to communicate for the sake of the kids…in any event, Thanks Coach Craig for all your work.
Not sure how this got on my feed, but I watched it. Clearly, he lost it and went over the line. He did well to recognize that she wasn't at fault and was refreshingly open and honest.
However, everyday this guy knew that his girlfriend had several swinging you-know-what's after her and didn't care at all that she had a boyfriend. Clearly they had no respect for him, her or their relationship. At some point, as her man, it's gotta be addressed to them. What would you suggest? If you fail to try to protect her, then I would think she will stop feeling safe with you also.
You should do a video about what Women do that make Men feel unsafe. Almost all your videos are about things men do that make women loose attraction and never the opposite.Women do things wrong too. No one talks about this. Why? Why do we have to always teach men how to treat women right but never women how to treat men right.
@@lke4907this is BS based on your experience. you don't know most men and all men as well.
The idea you suggested is not bad but the way you suggested is a little bit rude. I can read your frustration in your comment. Are you alright?
I get where you're going. Goes both ways. However I do think if you allow that behavior, that's part of the problem.
You need to do a topic discussion of things that Women do that make men feel unsafe as well. I don’t think it’s talked about enough. Relationships aren’t one sided for attraction. I even think you covered this before in regards to Women’s need for safety.
Emotional control is a massive topic. A woman who just lashes out screams and throws things at you is something no man desires
Laziness is another one, a woman who isn't excited to do stuff with you or for you, who wakes up 11AM and is tired all the time is plain ugly.
Emotionless, or rather, forcing being "rational" or faking stoic behaviors is another thing. There's nothing prettier than a woman who knows what she feels and expresses it healthy, both positive and negative emotions: love through poems, songs, etc...fear by talking "I'm afraid of this/that, I fear [this] will happen" or by "hiding" herself behind the man, etc...
Not being able to talk about her concerns for the future or current concerns and projecting into the man thinking that the man has some mind reading ability or future sight, instead of being mature and talk about plans and desires...
Anyway, women who can't understand and display their femininity is just massive turn off
I had insecurities about my wife, starting with a lack of intimacy. I couldn’t help myself either, so I went through her messages and she was talking to her friends about ending our marriage. A few months down the track and she walked out. Women are liars.
Damn......get a grip son
She did NOT do the right thing. She should've stopped going out with those guys from work.
💜💜💜
Now you should solve the issue of White woman. She gave birth to the child .As they are both mom and dad. Why men are silent about her .
When i was not beautiful for him, Now how i am beatiful for him. He showed his portrait, i did not like him . i hate him women says he is very handsome. I left him nothing seems beauti in him .There are many persons beautiful than him.