loving like an existentialist
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- Опубліковано 2 жов 2024
- this is loving like an existentialist. i hope you like it.
written by me
animated by maddy vian ( / maddyology )
music by tom rosenthal (tomrosenthal.co.uk)
filmed by ciaran o'brien ( / ciaranobrien )
edited by me
my book/merch: www.savbrown.com
twitter: / savannxhb
instagram: / savannxhb
tumblr: / savannxh-b
snapchat: @savannxhb
there are many theories as to how we came to be
(i’m not sure which one i believe).
did we appear as dually flickering lights
above a hazy skyline?
fluttering, distant,
choking on stifling fog:
first solitary decades of life
as a lukewarm utterance into the vacuum,
whispering, “oh, what is this emptiness?”
haggard gesturing suggesting
half is not missing, but whole
and someday, when beacons collide,
not coincidence, but prophecy,
wrenching claims of meant-to-be
the sparks erupt in ultraviolet chaos,
volcanic, raging,
a mighty wallop of colour and sound,
a shattering cry of belonging
splitting time itself.
i don’t think so.
i don’t think i was born to love anyone
except myself, and even that,
some days, i’m not sure is true.
i don’t think our initials are carved
into anything immortal,
let alone battered into the very cosmos;
the air didn't lock into place upon our arrival,
awaiting the moment our silhouettes
would one day fill the empty space.
i could fall in love with a melody,
let crawl through my body
(or a train ride, or alabaster sheets;
there are chemicals that do these things to me),
i could grow fond of many things
but how particular my fondness of you
how fervent, how violent, how gentle
i think we're just moths
riding on the backs of giants
and i wasn't drawn to you
because our wings are both blue
but because they're the same colour
as everyone else’s
and you were willing to listen to
why that scared me
we’re not star-crossed
but we can still wrap ourselves in the seams
of a quilted universe that we did not stitch;
bathe in the glow of a sun
that does not shine for us;
run atop an earth that
does not feel our hurried footsteps
as they thump,
thump
thump
how lucky we are
to have nothing expected of us.
quickly-all the time we will ever know
is tapping her toes on the doorstep
and i do not want to keep her waiting
something very hypnotic about this
I very much agree, jack
Her voice has a really hypnotic aesthetic and cadence to it. I feel you dawg.
give me aaalllll your moonneeyyyy (ty jack x)
extremely
@@savbrown I'm five years late but I just finished this video
My head is reeling from how well it challenged the common depiction of love and how it embodied my questioning of why it should be held to such significance as a questionable necessity
I'm sobbing and I'm not too sure why. I can't wait to explore my head and this video to find out
I am SOBBING 2 DODS
DODIEE SOB WITH ME
doDIE
doddleoddle DODIE OMG
i can explain. Well, its mainly because of the message being portrayed, but the color scheme and the art, plus the black and white setup of her, while she's looking very upset, and her voice tone. It all amplifies the vibes that youre getting, especially when the colors have a sudden change of color and movement from 1:36 - 2:10 . I'd have to say, this is a greatly executed masterpiece. This gave me a huge amount of feels.
i want this read at my wedding holy fuck
an update (4 years later): ive found the person i want to read it to :)
beautiful. harmonic. candid. hopeful. inspirational. signature. peaceful. alive. thanks.
i was just thinking that, too, as i watched it
Did you read it to them? :O
awwwwwwww
best of luck to you both
That’s amazing :)
The earth may not feel your footsteps but my heart felt your words.
shit :o
But a true existentialist will tell you that your heart does not feel anything of these words, it cannot. Your mind is the heart you think you speak of, it has always been that way.
:-O...how beautifully said. ♥♥
I absolutely love how absolutely speachless this video and your words leave me
@@victordanielcatalan1808I want to understand this deeper😢
this is so beautiful i might cry
I just cried
do keyboards get waterdamage from tears?
i saw this screened at buffer festival twice and cried both times tbh
WHATTTT? Are you serious? that's such a big deal, I'm so proud of her!
let´s cry together!
"And I wasn't drawn to you because our wings are both blue but because they're the same colour as everyone else's and you were willing to listen to why that scared me." Awe. That was probably one of the most beautiful and inspirational things that you have ever said. Thank you, Sav. You and your channel are beloved. *HUG*
That was exactly the line that stood out to me too
Best line and quote I've ever heard
or, *that have ever been said. :)
i don't get it, what did she mean by that?
+Valeria Cox
Realising the ephemeral nature of human existence can be unnerving. Finding someone that cares enough to empathize really helps.
I will forever admire your skill to carve meaning through your poetry. This is by far one of your best pieces.
TheAEROShows I agree so much 😍
thank you so much!
It hits me so deeply, I just can't finish my days without watching this
video again and again. Very well done Sav. I love your work and your
brain.
But existentialism argues there is no real meaning :O
it's funny how words can leave you speechless
Ironic, right?
aha izzy, i totally agree
that's normal
'i could grow fond of many things, but how particular my fondness of you' - this is beautiful.
wow i feel so alone. sav you are my favorite artist.
hi. i fell sort of alone too. want to talk
Im open
im here if you want to talk.
thanks y'all for being so kind, offering to talk. I meant "alone" in that enlightening existential way?? I'm fine though, ignore me :)
Alright, just know we are here
"i don't think i was born to love anyone except myself... but even that, somedays i'm not sure is true" MY FAVORITE FUCKING LINE! U ARE SUCH A GODDAMN GIFT TO THE WORLD SAV! i told this to arden when we first saw this at the screening but now i must tell YOU! keep being a gem! i appreciate u so much! x
Meghan Hughes yesssss
this line hurts so much
this is the perfect combination of music poetry and visual art.... you amazed me today... this was an unexpected and soul melting birthday gift thank you.
Happy birthday!
Thanks!
happy birthday! I agree with you 100%
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'Bathe in the glow of a sun, that does not shine for us' this line is so beautiful and so is this video wow Savannah you've made me fall in love all over again 😌💓
Adela Setara it's just so eye opening and very beautifully written :,)
+
"i was not drawn to you
because our wings are both blue
but because they are the same colour
as everyone else’s
and you were willing to listen to
why that scared me"
*starts crying*
THIS IS ART.
You have bewitched me.
body and soul
(also there was a video that Savannah made ages ago now and I remember I left a not v nice comment, I can't remember exactly what I said but it was something douchey about how her drastic change in content seemed like a try-hard at being pretentious but actually I think it's more that I have zero originality or creative thought or talent and what I thought was 'pretentious' was actually just someone with all of those things turning her channel into something that would showcase it better. even though Savannah definitely hadn't even seen or remembered that comment I want to say sorry about it anyway. it was a dick move and I was a dumb idiot who didn't know what she was talking about)
ha! i've gotten many of those comments and although i admittedly don't remember your specific one, i appreciate this. thank you so much for your kind words, i'm glad you liked the poem!!!
You're 100% an older version of Grace vanderwaal
Lisa Van Kradenburg why jut because she has a fringe and some rhyming words
I admit it. This made me cry. But in a happy/hopeful way? Like for me this poem means that even though there is no such thing as destiny or a perfect match, even though the universe doesn't care about my existence and doesn't continue to exist because of me or any one else for that matter, i can still try to enjoy my time on this planet, in this life. I should enjoy all the time that i have because a human life is short, compared to time as a whole. This kind of puts the pressure off of my shoulders to do what is expected of me, because there is no meaning of life, there is only things I can do to make my own life meaningful to myself.
Lisa Pauli thanks for putting into words what I wanted to say, I just couldn't find the right words for it
Sabrina Kroll you're welcome I guess. Savannah's Videos always make me want to interpret everything she says for myself and I have this urge to comment on her videos all the time.
what a gift. thank you sav.
yes?
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I'm happy you exist
I never ever comment on videos but I just wanted to say that I haven't been inspired to write or create anything in months and this inspired me so much. Not quite sure why. I am sitting with a pen in my hand right now and I'll probably be up all night. Thank you!
Agnes Boman I feel the same. It lovely when someone's art can do that to you. Great work, Sav.
Adela Setara, I absolutely loved reading this
i love this. you hear a lot about fate or destiny or "the one" as these magical things but theres something even more magical about chance. something incredible about stumbling into the life of someone you love knowing that you just as easily could have missed them.
This entire video is a patchwork of so many beautiful people's ideas and creations and it all knits together so enchantingly I just LOVE
I knew I shouldn't have started watching your videos at 4 in the morning. Now I'm crying like a baby. This is beautiful and I thank you for making this, seriously.
this is breathtaking, i am in awe ahhh i love this so much
The poem left me in awe. As in the poem she is describing the world in her own words. As in the peom she mentions “I don’t think that I was meant to love anyone except myself, and even that some days, I’m not sure is true ” In this quote I was able to come to the conclusion that she thinks that we should love ourselves for what we are. But I also think that she is saying that we should have more love for ourselves rather than loving other people more. But even though she mentions this idea in the poem she isn’t completely into the whole idea. I believe that people sometimes get into a relationship just to have someone they can rely on not because they are entirely in love. As Savannah goes through existentialism she mentions that we are the only ones in the earth. In the end Savannah’s poem gave me a new view to life in general.
I don't just love this.
it moved me, it created something in places I didn't know anything could ever grow.
I adore this and I'll keep it inside my heart.
thank you Sav. thank you so much.
In this video it made me consider the occasions when I couldn't do the things that I adore. As a little eighth grader I've generally had the enthusiasm for recording and photos. My folks got me my first historically speaking camera when I was in eighth grade. When I was littler I trusted I couldn't do the things I cherished for the reasons that I would of likely begin being made a decision by other individuals for doing the things I adore. I all of a sudden recently said that I'll put it all on the line on the off chance that I want to do it, and that is the thing that this video reminded me about. I was a greater amount of an existentialist, I would've done whatever I need, I have the opportunity to do as such, so why not do it. I didn't consider it to be something incorrectly to do as such I chose to take the plunge. As years passed by I didn't have the sort of generation I needed to I simply chose to leave that fantasy I had of mine behind.
Few youtubers are like this, few people. Yes for you work of art, your very own and existentialist.
this almost made me cry i really hope romantic love is a legitimate experience because i don't know why I'm alive if it isn't
This was genuinely beautiful, the words are beautiful, the animation is beautiful. This was just incredible. Thank you
i'm so happy this exists and i'm so happy you do too. you made me melt into a puddle of tears today and i'm not mad at it
The very moment you said 'the sparks erupt', my phone vibrated really intensely because of a perfectly timed message from my really good friend. Coincidence? I think not. because there is no such thing. thank you Savannah for this knowledge!
So beautiful. Existentialism is one of my favorite topics, and after seeing this, it has made me feel less alone.
something special here
Right here at this very point in the universe, this very page on the internet... this one point. Here. Art. Beauty. Philosophy. Poetry. Music. Love. I am in awe of the magic of art. I am in awe
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It is truly a deep meaning as to how you are able to suggest the theory of existentialism reflecting meaning that alludes to loving. A concept that allows me to interpret that maybe this emotion is a stepping stone that allows conscious beings to ponder on melodies reflecting understanding and the how fervent this theory expands to. When love is an abstract element, it certainly foreclosures its true meaning the same way simply existing is when claiming that “I wasn't drawn to you because our wings are both blue but because they’re the same colour as everyone else’s and you were willing to listen to…”, which allow me to illustrate a sense of individualism and love is not a bond creator but another mechanism to cope with comprehension of things revolving around the concept of existentialism. Certainly the platform of love conjugates the forms of all things that enable existing, due to the fact that love wasn’t around before any humans, who is to day it isn’t just another trick that our minds create to make sense around everything.
Loved watching this at Buffer Festival so much I had to come back and watch it again! ❤️ beautiful as always!
I always come back to this every couple of months. "Because they're the same color as everyone elses" always gets me. Thank you Sav.
It's been 11 months and I still find this utterly mesmerizing. Simply beautiful.
Edit: 5 years. Still come back to this fairly regularly. Love from Spain
this is the most beautiful poem i think i've ever heard. sav, you are incredible. thank you for this
how lucky are we to share the same time on this world with you. love ya girl
Savannah Brown emphasized the idea that an existentialist does not depend on others to fulfill one’s needs, but rather one can find it in oneself. “I don’t think I was born to love anyone except myself, and even that, some days I’m not sure it's true”. For the past months this phrase has dwelled on my mind. I’ve always been an independent person, and based on past experiences, I can honestly say that I’m better off by myself. However, I cannot say that I will not fall in love again because love can be influenced by various things that I have no control over at times. Love can be something so beautiful, if shared with someone who fully understands you and your wants, but not everyone can experience that. “How lucky we are to have nothing expected of us”. The majority of the time we get so caught up trying to find love, that the thought of loving ourselves doesn’t cross our mind or whatever.
I really really loved the middle to end portion of this piece, but in the first half you seemed to use some words for their own prettiness- they didn't seem to add anything to what you were trying to say. I see a lot of young poets do this- use certain words/ rely on them to bring outside beauty to a piece but this has to be done in moderation or it takes away from everything. If you look at some of the best lines of poetry or literature its interesting how they don't always have particularly gorgeous words but instead weave their words together to create a beautiful phrase with its own meaning
Sophie Zalewski i did that intentionally. the first stanzas were calling into question a sugary, romanticized version of what love is, so i thought it'd be fitting to make them sugary as well.
i was looking for a way to phrase this exact feeling and i'm glad i read your comment before i did. it's really respectful and well thought out criticism! also thanks savannah for sharing this piece
And that is called being an effective communicator! Yay, Sav. Keep doing projects like this and we will keep sharing them.
John Donne's 'A Valediction Forbidding Mourning' is the best example of unflowery yet gorgeous poetry.
@Savannah Brown: I think you could still give the sugary impression without choosing those kinds of words. I don't think the sugary impression has to come from the words themselves, just how they are used. There are very simple phrases that can sound just as sugary as exotic words. Sometimes more so, because exotic words sometimes obfuscate what is being expressed.
Only 20 seconds in but this is beautiful
Wonderful. Nice touchstones throughout. I have spent my whole unemployed day watching things like this and this is my favourite.
This is the beautiful part of UA-cam I've always been meaning to get lost in. Thank you.
Anyone else just stare at their ceiling and cry to this masterpiece
"how fervent, how violent, how gentle" absolutely in love with the juxtaposition of this
such a beautiful poem 🥺 i hope someday i can find someone to read this to
Wow. This was so beautiful: the animation, the words, the music and the editing. It was all stunning.
Ah. I’m back again. Doing my every-couple-months rewatch of this. It still hits me in such an inexplicable way. Thank you for your art.
I loved the part about star crossed lovers :) x
This is beautiful
Damn this is deep
I don't know why but after watching this i feel very relaxed
Bertie is one lucky guy.
I think this is what I've had on my mind but my tongue didn't know how to say it. I've been growing ever distant from my old perspectives of.. waiting for the magic? Idk. All the heavy pressures I & my exes have put on ourselves have been so ridiculous. My love can be authentic & beautiful without needing gears to interlock. & now that I've got a clearer view, I think/believe the next time I find someone, I can go into a relationship more ready for.. everything. Thanks for making this, Sav! ❤ Big 👍's up to Maddy, Tom, & Ciaran!
this is so beautiful
idk how to explain how this made me feel, just so many things ah thank you sav
thank you, thank you, thank you
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH WHY HASNT IT GONE VIRAL
This is the purest thing I've ever listened to
That's how I feel about comedy from random unknown people on YT haha.
I love the new style so much
This is so different yet so beautiful.
this is so beautiful! well done sav!
i come back to this every other month. still in love with it.
So so beautiful. This has made my day.
This is an experience I want to relive for the first time.
“How lucky we are to have nothing expected of us”
a sav brown's school of life series would be amazing
UM WHAT??? this is absolutely fantastic 🖤🌙
Idk know of to explain it, but this elevated me? like it touches the soul. I love it! ^^
and I don't mean "elevate" as in feeling powerful, but more like if I was floating and have this nice feeling in my heart.
this is amazing and beautiful and i cried
I love this so much
absolutely
Wat the actual hell Savannah...THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL!!! Promise to never delete this wonder✨💫🌙
no but seriously you have no idea how beautiful this poem is this is by far the best thing you've ever written
I've never seen a more beautiful poetry video
SAV THIS IS SO AMAZING
It actually makes sense to me, I don't know why.
Honestly, I'm a little awestruck, this is magic.
I love your poetry sav
this was so beautiful and heartfelt. it resonates with me as seems almost selfish to believe that love brings the ideal match together when really ideal matches can be made with many, given the right circumstances. in a world of 7+ billion people, it would seem hard to find just one true love.
How utterly, utterly gorgeous
You understand my way of thinking more than you'll ever know. Thank you
this is very much amazing.
Sav finally used capital letters in her video title XD
this is so pretty
this fucked me up so bad; i feel inspired and sad all at once
sooo trippy 👏
This is so unbelievably beautiful, Savannah. You have so much talent.
Dan Howell needs to see this
I keep comming back to this poem. It gives me so much hope. Thank you.
please do more of these. this is absolutely beautiful
Damn, this was so beautiful savs voice is so calming. I loved this video so much i loved the darkness and also the brightness of the video. Oh my did i love this
aghh this is just so beautifull:') as a dancer i immediately thought duet, sav idk if you will see this but i was wondering if i could please use the audio for a number? (just for a school production)
Why can't I stop crying now
i've been having a really intense existential crisis for a few weeks and this video completes my thoughts
Hey Sav-lav i love your everything I ordered your book but it still isn't here and it's been nearly a month since i've gotten any emails about it. Does anyone know what I should do?
i love this so much and your voice is so soothing and this is like the 10th time im watching this???????
Truly amazing
This poetry gets a top-ranking spot on my list of all-time favorite poems. This is up there with works from famous and renowned poets.
One of the most beautiful things ive experienced in a long time.