forming real human connections? sounds fake but ok
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- Опубліковано 28 лип 2024
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/ savannahbrown
website: www.savbrown.com
i made this in a day and i have no idea what it is!! hope u like it tho! ! ha ha!!
the two songs at the end-ish are 911 and salem both by fox academy
"i feel close to people in moments, but then i go home and i don't feel that anymore"
Mann......
I mean... god... yeah...
Literally me
Oh fuck me, this relates to me so much
Answer is easy. NEVER go home! 🚶 🏡
"I used to hate being alone, until I felt lonely around other people, and that's the worst feeling of all" - Robin Williams
ig im living the life of robim williams
Robin Williams is a legend, but that quotes hits different for me now. I recently got out of a relationship where I felt EXTREMELY lonely. So lonely I was literally diagnosed with depression. After breaking up, I literally haven't felt lonely at all. I was definitely with the wrong person :,)
Thats what its really very strange to feel alone around people.
I used to hate being alone, then i felt lonely around other people, then I realized how foolish people are, then I realized how foolish I could be, then I realized Im never truly alone, then I realized loneliness is a symptom of something bigger, then I realized that the people in charge want us to feel alone, then I got jaded and isolated but alot less depressed and lonely than before, then I felt the crushing weight of insignificance and was happy that at least its been crushing my ego, too.
Its not a robin williams quote!! Its from a film called Worlds Greatest Dad.
"I always assume I'm not anyone's priority, so I don't go out of the way to make anyone else my priority." Holy shit i've never heard one sentence describe my life so well
Making other people your priority is bad dont ever do that
real
You shouldn't expect anyone to do that
@@dsaikon Well....that is the essence of romantic relationships.
so u just didnt know it as u wouldve heard it from yourself... besides u already fked up at decision to assume... also if everyone followed that logic how tf would it even begin?! .. priority is proxy...having priority indicates possessing precious which is wonderful but forceful making is just an attempt of pretending to be someone experiencing wonderful with hope of becoming it(pretending is bad unless core intention)
ur statement is insignificant, not best not worst, just one out of many of ur truths..i dont know you but i know for a fact that ur not described by just that one sentence
It’s so weirdly comforting to see somebody with the same fears as you. This is an actual work of art.
im actually on the verge of tears because of this haha, like every single tiny thing she says is something i have felt but kept hidden all my life. crazy
yeah
?? but its like every person under 30 is like this at this point? If all of you talked more you would realise that...
@@manuellanthaler2001 not being able to talk to people properly is literally the point
@@chickenfoot2423 if the other guy has exactly the same problems of you then you have so much in common... and how is it even considered abnormal to be like that if literally everyone is like that?? Youre all normal with your social anxiety everyone has it so no one has it actually.
"wish i was worse. wish i was struggling more for a joke" why is this an accurate artist mindset lmao
also I have so much to relate to in this video it's almost like I'm talking to myself. thank you for sharing!!!
Such a mood
Kaelia Lana Grace yooo I had no idea what this meant so I looked it up!! Super interesting !!
Can someone explain this line to me please ? What does it mean exactly ?
As Word is Told are you alright
It's weirdly comforting to know that a lot of people feel sad.
yea bc its like well as least im not the only one that is casually dying on the inside
@@memesaremylifeline6723 :(
I guess it's just hella easy to drown in your misery without realising that everyone is doing the same
@@kairidderbos5625 ;...(
We lost are connecting to nature, most of us live like rats stacked on top of each other, breathing in the toxins of modern cities, eating foods that keeps us in a constant state of inflammation and that opens us up for sickness and spiritual death, we are sick and we need to start loving from within first
As an autistic guy I resonate with this kind of a lot. The bit about not knowing what to say or share because you have a "weird robot brain" so you err on the side of saying too little, aloofness, forgetfulness, wanting to know people in a way that's exhaustive but not smothering and how paradoxical that feels sometimes, this is really hitting home and I feel kind of validated hearing someone say this stuff out loud. You're not oversharing, this stuff matters!
It’s so painful, having such a desire for connection but having to hold back at every turn, never feeling comfortable. I wish I could see it from a non-autistic person’s perspective for a minute, just so I know what it’s like.
@@annabelhamer4376 Well ... shoot. I've been diagnosed with ADHD, and I know there's significant overlap with autism-but I relate so much to what you (and @hankwicklund2182 above) wrote. I crave deep connection and intimacy with people, but I just know that I'm going to be too much, so I try to not smother people or overshare or see them too often. I often feel like I'm an alien pretending to be a normal human around other people, and have to consciously try to think about appropriate social boundaries because I know that I would want to run roughshod over them if I don't hold back.
Huh. Maybe I'm somewhere on the autism spectrum too?
do that stop being autistic
@@annabelhamer4376you really think non autistic people don't have the same problems?
@@hicrhodushicsalta4382i’m not autistic and i feel this way, too
there’s something so comforting about just hearing someone else pour their feelings out and it not making sense, but also hella relating to it
It feels bad. I never want anyone else to suffer like me or worse than me
unexplained feelings are corrupting.. delete it.. ur relying on inherited ability to experience given....and if u feel like keeping it short expl. is that it enables you to do the same without being judged and reconcile with its occurrences from past (assuming description "comforting" is correct)
“I feel like I’ve already wasted time. And people. And time with people.” Really felt that. Ouch
⏹ Annoying or irrelevant
⏹ Spam
✔ I'm in this video and I don't like it
Great meme format
I think this video highlights some of the technological weirdness of the contemporary era-she is simultaneously connecting with thousands of people around the world and not connecting with those people at all (because I am only absorbing her, she is not absorbing me). Anyway, I relate to everything she says in the video, and I feel connected to her as a result, but the format of our connection prevents us from being actually connected. It’s strange and sad and happy simultaneously.
this reminds me of liquid modernity by bauman
The takeaway from this is that anyone you ever meet in real life is the same way. The main difference is in real life, you aren't just a view number, or a username/profile pic, or some comment, you're a full physically present human body which may or may not fit the image you want to project. So then you repeat that first takeaway I mentioned. Everyone understands and is willing to accept and deal with a lot, other people want to connect too! Just keep it in mind without turning it into entitlement because every now and then you miss a connection even though nothing is wrong. That's what "life's not fair" really means imo. Be safe friend and good luck out there :)
It had to be this way. If you met in real life, most likely you and her wouldn't have been able to be so open with each other, as you would be just strangers talking to each other.
Yep, exactly, no exchange. Only sending.
@@clover_55 DUDE I JUST GOOGLED THAT AND I NEED TO READ IT NOW HOLY SHIT
What helped me a lot when it came to forming true connections was realizing that what other people truely want is to be seen. Like, really seen. And that you can help that process by asking questions, like, real questions, about how they feel and what they learned and experienced. And by listening, you are able to see if what makes them tick resonates with you and if you want to proceed to getting to know them even better. And when you do, you can deduct whether this is a person who you want to take the next step with, the actual emotional part, like, sharing their pain, sharing their joy, but also sharing things about yourself. Because deeply feeling what another person feels is very exhausting, but if it's someone you relate to, it's the most fulfilling thing.
this is solid advice. thank you, this was extremely helpful to read as a 23 year old trying to figure out how to really connect with other people. also it’s comforting to read the other comments under this video who are the same age as me going through similar feelings
Completely
This is the most profound thing I've ever heard in my life
Some times I play out conversations I want to have with people in my head and then when I am around those people I say nothing because I have already had the conversation
or it doesn't go in the ''right way'' or they aren't interested
I feel that
Bruh same
Ill take multiple different paths
@@Druidavet can you stop being right
@@billyboo2864 no
*"independence isn't reclusion"* that hit home jfc sav
She spoke right to my soul at that part lol
this is the most relatable stream of human thoughts i've ever encountered in my 34 years on this earth
As someone nearing 40, hearing what you were going through at that time (maybe potentially still going through) and realizing it's where I still am currently...is both eye-opening and disconcerting. Not sure why the video was recommended to me, but thank you UA-cam, and thank you Savannah Brown.
umm i just realized one thing recently that when youve been doing something for a long time and youve had more than enough time to realize its not working, then that just means you need to try another way. cause trust me cuz just keeping the way it is no matter the different circumstances that might come about in every one of those situations is not gonna do jack shit to change the outcome. its gonna be the same outcome over and over as i said ive very recently just realizd that shit. so in a nutshell, that thing requires a different apporach thats what it just means and it might not be the one thatll work as well but in th e least youll get a new outlook on it
Ever thought “I wanna go home” when you’re already home?
Jackson Fung my friend and I were talking about this exactly!!!
Too often, my dude
Sadly
E.T phone home lol
Ahhh I finally found my people
This is my favourite thing you’ve ever made
This one hits a little different after the newest video.
mist be hard to watch yourself saying all this deep stuff to a camera, then editing it and make a piece of art from it and finally uploading it where everyone can see it, and somehow be ok with it, you are a strong human being savanah, and one a lot of plp would like to know and be there in that time you mentioned, congrats 👏
"When i arrive at the end of my life, I want to know that I loved so much and that i have been so loved." I have never felt so much emotion from one statement, i become so obsessed with the feeling that i forget to enjoy the time. I want to love without fear. I will remember to love without fear.
Maybe it’s not possible to love without fear, and we have to take both…
@@julianmunoz6034 yes maybe
This hit me so hard. I just FELT SO MUCH when she said that omg
@@mirellfernandes96 LITERALLY!
“We can always give more than we take”
"Independence isn't reclusion." Is so important.
"When a bird lands on a branch it feels secure not because it thinks the branch will never break but because it knows if the tree fails her she can rely on the strength of her wings."
thats good.
Tell me that this isn't the definition of art! I mean, this girl deserves an academy award, at the very least more recognition! Her authenticity, the transitions, the lighting, music, and how she expresses herself! I am still astonished!
I am also autistic and I just made a very similar video at age 39. Tip: it is never too late to make those who are nice to you and care for you a priority. Fix your relationship with your parents and siblings if you have them. Last but not least, there are no templates to life. No shoulds, musts or need tos. Everyone is just flailing around trying their best at some semblance of normality and stability be it externally or internally. 🌸💗
this reminded me of that nietzsche quote "the demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions" but we ask anyway, how could we not
okay but this is so artistic, and the part where u said u felt like u were just speaking these weird l i n e s and not ur actual thoughts---- i felt that and i need to learn to speak my thoughts
really i thought it seemed super try hard especially the intro
@@julia-ex7im maybe you just couldn't relate to her words, and that's okay
Sounds like mind control, watching too much tv and being programmed.
I’m lucky that I know some people who do that
Stop thinking, just start talking. Life is simple so don't complicate it. What did that guy say? "Become like water my friend."
Sometimes I like to imagine myself as an old man, sitting on the porch drinking coffee and watching the clouds go by, content with a life well lived. And knowing that all the hardships and failures along with the good times and successes will have been meaningful, and I can just be at peace.
I really relate to the part about saying lines. For me, I think it’s that it’s easier not to risk your true self, just kinda go on autopilot and hope you make it through all your interactions smoothly. I’ve learned that it’s not really living thou.
yea it's a tough act bc on the one hand we need cliche and basic facts to be able to recognize each other and establish some sense of shared experience like 'yea, we live in the same world' but on the other hand the goal (that might be most rewarding, at least) is to get to a level of emotional connection, shared feeling, and maximum truth. Clichés are true, so we start there, but we want to express ourselves on a level so much more real and heartfelt than that. maybe.
That montage of her talking and thoughts overlapping almost feels like the definition of anxiety? Like you're physcially there but you zone out and start thinking, then you overthinking and all your thoughts become mush and someone asks you a question and you dont know how to answer them then you say something stupid and overthink the stupid thing you said and it goes on and on
Oh, so that's what it's called
i have an anxiety disorder and shit like this makes me wanna tear up my brain like a shitty drawing
This feels like a film. I don't know if that makes sense, but that's the only way I can describe the feeling it brought me.
The use of color does that
Gives me Submarine vibes
@@tinyfreckle yeah or lost in translation
Eat pray love
She directed it
Personally I've been going through a very weird and kinda opposite crisis- till a couple of years ago I only had one friend and we knew the best and worst parts of each other, which is already scary in the first place. But now for the first time I have an entire group of very close friends who get to know me better every single day, and that's fucking horrifying because I love them so much that losing them because Im not good enough just feels more real, and when I feel specially shitty, just inevitable. I had a lot of hollow relationships bc i was put on the side as a friend for so long that I did the same to everyone else bc it was all I knew. Now being that emotionally unavailable isn't an option anymore, because I feel so invested in the ppl around me that it feels like if I lose them I'll lose everything. And that's so fucking scary
Sometimes we're not smart enough to figure out things by ourselves. That's why we have friends to help figure it out. And that's why friendship is magic.
"we're flesh and bone when we're all alone, but together, forever, we'll live"
such a great line from werewolf heart 🖤
A cult master's last words before nailing himself on top of his hundreds of conscious followers - all stitched together, arms to legs, bellies to backs, hearts to hearts, and every single face turned outwards. The cult master smiled.
He never got a chance to decorate a Christmas tree growing up.
"indistinguishable one-note days lost to the interminable current of time" hits different during a pandemic
indeed
This video appear at my recommendations and it feels weird how relatable it is. You articulate that strange feeling between wanting to connect with people and being comfortable with your own company beautifully.
damn boy your pfp reminds me of somethin
It takes so much balls to post something like this and I hope you get a great feeling when you realize we are all going through some type of version of this deep down, we just hide it
You’re one of the most human human beings I have ever seen
Vanessa Ives is watching you
The most honest about their humanity. everyone’s human, not everyone admits it
i love this video because this is extremely self-aware and intellectual, but also shows you are so human and struggling with something that everyone experiences to some extent. i definitely related and the conclusion hit me hard. this was a small masterpiece.
This is my favourite video on the internet.
Whenever I’m feeling down, I always find myself coming back to this video because it’s comforting to know someone else feels exactly the same way.
❤️
Possibly the best part of the Internet is that you find people who are going through or have gone through the same things as you
The part where you say "I feel like I'm just saying lines. Curated forms of my actual thoughts made to be presentable to other people". I feel that. I feel completely disconnected from people, I can completely express my thoughts when I'm alone but I'll never be able to communicate in the same way to another person. It's terrifyingly isolating, but as an introvert, I can accept it.
I have to swallow sooooo many words to not make myself sound 'boring' and i feel scared that people will lose interest if i share everything i think
This may sound stupid and cliche, but I just want to mention I've felt this same way. I felt this way for almost two years, and trust me, it passes. One day I woke up and things changed and through experiences I found myself coming back to reality. I promise you it will pass.
Wtf, I always stay true to myself and always present my true emotions and thoughts, especially when asked.
I don't think it's right to just write it off as being introverted. You say the isolation feels terrifying, but an introvert would feel better when they're alone, and you're probably confusing this with feeling more comfortable at home when you're not being judged. I think that you just have a lot of anxiety when it comes to social interaction, but you can overcome it if you just keep talking to people and try to be as honest as possible to them. Please don't give up on this, it'll make you much happier in the long run :)
@@Samboleyful you are right I once was like this but then I found what I truly love doing, which is everything to do with pianos and music and this feeling of not being able to express my true, pure emotions disappeared! you just need that one thing that is truly special to set you free from this evil curse ;) (although I'm not so much attracted to pianos anymore and have retracted this curse again there was still that brief couple months where nothing was scary, and that was pure ecstasy)
you word things so beautifully?? How is your brain constantly one long poem
Izzy Pankhurst this is a curated clip show of filtered thoughts, nothing is as clear and concise as it looks or sounds
her voice and accent definitely helps
I mean... She must have thought the beautiful wording before filming... right? But still, even if it's not spontaneously beautiful, it still is beautiful
eloquence is just inherent to some people, but it can be developed through reading and observation,
it's called script and editing
I'm being serious when I say that for me, it has also always been hard to express myself and find things to say, bit what I've found out throughout the years is that there is someone out there who is willing to hear everything you say and won't make things weird because they know what you are going through, also just enjoying yourself and being in the present moment is probably the best thing you can do to try building a relationship stress free.
Its nice to have a listener perspective of an alike mind. I’ve always struggled to connect fully with people over fear of being too close, yet i look back and cherish those relationships and recall those moments I’ve had. All that is now lacking, and what I’ve been pondering on the most is intimacy. A human necessity. Something I’ve lost and yearn to regain, and try without being too strong about it.
"I wrote books and stuff but like who cares, am joking ... I cared" *looks down*
big oof, I felt that.
who is this girl, why is she so cute, why is this in my recommended, how is she articulating my subconscious dilemmas
shut up bitch you're making me feel things
Hahaha relatable
holy shit same. felt like one of those weird facebook ads that read your mind.
@@parkermccarthy4265 did you just reply to yourself mate
yep, this is was what I was thinking, word for word
The one that keeps getting me is......"To have a friend, you must be a friend" And by getting me , I mean... Understanding the truth behind it, understanding if I want that, then I must do that, while at the same time wanting to argue it with the logic behind "well if they really were my friend than I wouldn't have to remind them constantly why I deserve to be their friend or in their life". I don't see anything wrong with, " if they don't like me for me than that's on them" while simultaneously acknowledging that who me for me is, is someone who doesn't answer calls most the time, doesnt ever want to go out and do things, and most of the time I find myself forcing interactions and experiences not to enjoy them in the moment, but to enjoy them in memories. And that is key, realizing that looking back on memories , will only stay a positive experience as long as new memories are formed. So forcing myself to sometimes do want I don't want, is the only way to get what I want. Weird. This life...
It's like I'm looking in a mirror... I'm also an INFP so I definitely have a rich inner world, I talk to myself all the time, high functioning autism, also isolating myself to the point where I'm wondering if it's too late to reach out to my friends again
youtube is the perfect shelter when having existential crises
huh well that explains why im only ever on youtube
You said it!!
Yes, the algorithm just shot me this video. Now this person is me.
Mhmmmm
Tru
Why did that feel like a black mirror episode
All of the internet is a black mirror episode.
life is a black mirror episode
Felt like looking into a mirror, alright
JAJAJA fukin right!
The scariest thing for me is the thought of dying alone, when nobody shows up to your funeral and you get forgotten the next day, sometimes the thought of suicide makes it that maybe people will notice the death for a more period of time not just 2 days then nobody remembers you existed. The thought of me being forgotten by everyone I interacted with is unpleasant.
it’s like seeing myself talk it’s crazy to know I’m not alone in feeling this it’s comforting too in a way.
“Man is not what he thinks he is, he is what he hides.”
― André Malraux
Hmmm gotta think about that
So if you have nothing to hide, you are nothing yourself?
@@thomastum6992 yeah youre loser
Thomas Tum yep. And paradoxically everything
i am 14 and this is deep
This might be the most relatable talk I will ever hear.
Me too
You have no idea haha
Me too
I always re watch these videos when I need to relate to something and feel sane and normal instead of just worry myself into staying in bed for three days, so yeah thank you for this it helps get my own feelings across my messy brain.
I have feel similar but in a opposite way. I want connections so I overextend myself, I’ll always say too much, I always feel embarrassed whenever I ramble abt smth that wasn’t on topic, I always put myself out there for others in hopes someone would choose me even if it’s just to vent abt smth going on. I’ve never been anyone’s first priority or anyone’s first choice and this past summer i think I broke myself. I think wore out my brain that it’s too fried to refurbish so now I have no interest in talking to people. The constant stimulation of people’s energy sucked the life out of me so now there are times I want to make friends (rarely) but now I can’t be bothered to talk to anyone including my friends. I just want to be alone and I think it’s now abt wanting to have a connection with myself over anyone else…
Hey ik this was posted a long time ago, but I wanted to say that what you have written has really resonated with me. And I want you to know that I'm grateful that you wrote this comment because I don't feel like I'm the only one and I hope so do you
@@MuhammadAbdullah-nd9jh 😳oh yea np…I’m not usually one to comment 😅I’m glad to hear :)
Same!!!
"Overthinking Will Kill Your Reality" Alan Watts
Oh... yeah. That seems to be true.
i agree. really seems to be the root of so much of the suffering in and around us. and it's not really anyone's "fault", because we are so rarely offered an alternative, but at the same time it looks like we are all just a bit too attached to the idea of our own suffering. i see it in myself, in my friends, certainly in the comment section of this video and many others. thankfully my past few years of coming into buddhist practice (beginning with alan watts like so many westerners) have begun to really transform my relationship with thoughts, suffering, the world as a whole... good to see this comment
I honestly think about this quote every day. It helps a lot.. really.
@@harrisonbrand8985 Harrison that really resonates with me. The huge importance placed on the ego and 'the self' in Western society also ties in to the idea of being attached to our own suffering, which you mention. Technology and advertising constantly bombard us with ideas, products, and thoughts, which I think definitely plays a role in our overthinking. We 'live in our minds' for so much of our days, and it is only when we escape the trap of thinking that we can find a little peace.
thats an issue I currently have right now and I fuckin hate it so much. I feel like Im not myself anymore because of this overthinking bullshit tht goes on in my head.
I don’t write in the comment sections ever but this video honestly hit really close to home and I felt that I needed to say something.
You were able to sum up exactly how I’ve been feeling for years.
Thank you.
thank you so much for watching!
It doesn't matter how many times I watch this video, mostly when I pay close attention to the "intimacy" part of it. I feel such a relief bc I can literally relate to every single sentence she said, it's like talking to myself when I'm alone, only that it's a diferent person that I don't even know and we don't even speak the same language, that makes me feel like I'm never alone. If I can relate and feel supported by this person that has grown around a totally different environment and culture, and that I never met before and doesn't even know about my existence, that means that all this thoughts and feelings that I'm experiencing are not just mine, they're rather inherent to every other human being's existence, and that alone is enough for me to find some sort of wierd peace in the belief of some mystical connection that ties every live being on earth or some sci-fi shit like that. Thanks from Argentina, Savannah :)
"And that may be in the pursuit of making sense of ourselves, and, of making sense of any of this. The most important resource we have, is each other."
This reminds me of a conversation I had with a previous girlfriend of mine a couple years ago. We clicked the first moment we actually talked (which was a year after actually knowing of each other) and we were both idealists with lots of opinions to share. She made me think about my sexuality in a way I've never thought of before. She believed she had few redeeming qualities, and she had a habit of raising herself up after an achievement in the short term only to let herself down later. The portion of the video around the 8 minute mark reminds me of her so much, it portrays the mental discourse I know she dealt with on a cycle. Our mental states were polar opposites at the time, which foreshadowed our failure to continue our relationship long term. She was an oxymoron, genuinely sure of herself in some moments and questioning everything about her life the next. I was the epitome of consistency, my days of mental instability and identity crisis' had mostly passed. One night she caught me on one of her "unsure about life" moments, she would ask me questions like "whats your deepest darkest secret". In that moment I struggled to even conjure up anything substantial enough to satisfy her, so I said "I suppose I don't have any". This led to me talking about how I went through most of my emotional struggles early on in life, and have learned to accept myself, my current path (albeit an ever changing one). In short, I told her "I am content". That made her cry. She couldn't imagine living without the mental struggles she had. The other part of her would normally say something like "My struggle makes me all the more strong, all the more interesting", and she would believe it too. This current state of mind however, couldn't. In time our relationship was tested heavily, I realized I couldn't be her pseudo-therapist and be with her romantically at the same time. She began to push me away in a self fulfilling prophecy to be alone, and I wasn't arrogant enough to think I could change her. So I left, figuring she could grow on her own. The split was clean, we were both rational, and neither of us have talked since. I think if we were older and more experienced it could've been the greatest relationship of my life.
i relate with her and sometimes it is nice that my boyfriend is so stable but i feel like im insane sometimes for having to reconvince myself all the time that i am real and worthy
@@stuffedtoylover I think a large reason why we didn't see the problems before they happened is because we didn't acknowledge the long term. It felt good when we were together and that's all we really cared about. We were fresh out of high school together going to university, young people with that much on their plate have a hard time holding onto "stable" relationships let alone struggling ones.
I hope whatever your situation is proves to be a better environment to grow as both an individual and a couple. And you are real, and valid, and none of us are more pure or worthy than the other. Dark clouds and messy pasts follow many people, and in my experience form more genuine individuals. In the same way you need a mirror to see your full physical appearance, you often need dear friends and loved ones to help you see your true worth. Trust their love, don't always brush off the outside perspective as it can be clearer than your own.
@@sirshrooma hi. and thank you. I was not expecting a reply, not this fast, and definitely not this long and thoughtful and...reassuring. yeah, were also both high school seniors, like your story. I think we're aware that we work together great right now...but maybe not in the future. and maybe thats okay. maybe we should savor the last few months of high school before we have to worry about all the other factors that make love hard. not out of ignorance of what's to come, but out of choice to be present in right now. to look at who we are in this moment clearly, and to make our choices based on that. and as time passes, to just keep choosing. not on our past selves, or future "maybes" and "will-bes." but to choose what's best for us in any given moment.
with some sense of clarity, without resisting and clinging.
maybe this is just me rambling at this point. not sure if I actually said anything or if I just went in a circle, but that's okay.
thank you for your long reply. this is this first time I feel like I'm having a vulnerable conversation with an internet stranger. it was nice.
@@stuffedtoylover It seems you've wrapped your head around the idea that your current relationship might come to an end due to your circumstances. I've always been on the more realistic side and you've shown a preparedness to accept whatever outcome, I respect that. Short term relationships are more about gaining experiences and having a pleasant time anyway, definitely not about struggling to sustain it as long as you can. I'm a romantic at heart, but my brain will always maintain a realistic approach before anything.
Rambling is good, talking out your thoughts can help you realize why you have them in the first place.
You have wisdom in your words, what will happen will happen.
@@sirshrooma yes, I'm a complete hopeless romantic as well. thank you for listening and your reassuring words.
girl you have been watching contrapoints on repeat haven't u
i've been Called Out
This is exactly what I thought 😭
@@savbrown omg i knew it but also i love this alot its great sav
I also got euphoria vibes
Her videos are amazing
1. Define love. I like to keep it simple; "To will the good of someone". Being concrete, though it may be simple, helped me to determine whether I loved any one else or if any one loved me.
2. You get what you give. Specifically in reference to the definition above. I have been able to find people who truly love me because I took the step through my fear of rejection and non-reciprocated love and although it has not panned out every time by a long shot, I have found true friends that I would feel confident in saying love me and whom I love.
3. Trust is a decision. The feeling is just that; a feeling. Like I said, it's scary but you must take risks to have any change.
I guess I could keep going but I feel like I'm ranting and nobody cares hahaha I just have experience in the exact things you speak of.
Nah we don’t mind your ranting. Tbh it’s comforting to read your hopeful works, that one day I will get out of all of this.
So did you do it? Did get out of this sort of situation?
@christa4172 yes and the only way I did it was through finding a community of good people and getting really close to them, and developing spirituality which I could only define as a relationship with God or a higher power. Not to say I don’t still struggle, but the top three things I did were:
1. Community (like I said) but also I had to have a few people specifically that I could trust and confide in and be very honest and vulnerable with.
2. Spirituality, like I said. Might be through religion, might be through prayer meditation or something else. Personally my journey has lead me to become Eastern Catholic.
3. Service. By having a commitment to help other people for no reason than to genuinely help someone else out I was able to develop a sense of self worth. The hard part about this is that isn’t usually genuine service if it’s convenient. Therefore try to go out of your way consistently to help others for the sake of helping, and try to be discreet and not take credit. That way, the only pay off will come from within.
Hope this helps, let me know if you have any more questions!
Also, having a support group of some sort is probably very helpful. That’s how I started, and I still attend meetings regularly. Very helpful in finding people if you cannot find any one willing to be in your corner.
“when i arrive at the end of my life, i want to know that i’ve loved so much and that i’ve been so loved”
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” - Dale Carnegie
Nora N did you read “How to Win Friends and Influence People” as well?
Michael Garvin
We all did!
Nora N its wrong. Somehow noone wants to talk about themself. Everyone wants to hear funny stories from me, not answer my questions i ask about them and their life
Broxine can you tell me what kind of questions you ask them?
@@Broxine It takes practice to become genuinly interested in others; it took me a while. And not just ask questions, but be interested foreal. People feel it. It's the reactions, the thoughts you give about what they say, the types of questions you ask. That goes for talking about yourself too, now that I think about it. You gotta be interested. People are generally getting tired of that apathetic, ironic distance our generation tends to substitute real connection for.
“when i arrive at the end of my life, i want to know i’ve loved so much and that i’ve been so loved.”
i think about this all the time. all the time. and sav, i don’t know you but i know love your creations. so much
your description of anxiety or autism OR JUST human experience is amazing and im sending this to my homies cuz y'all need to know everyone wants you to just talk when you wanna and tell us what's up😎
"when i arrive at the end of my life i want to know that ive loved so much, and ive been so loved" -savannah brown
Came back to watch this a second time. It’s even worst when you’re the interested person in everyone trying to connect & you never met anyone who mirrors the same energy
dudeeee i totally get you!!
I feel you
"sometimes I feel like I'm just saying lines. I mean it. Like I'm not actually saying anything besides some weird curated version of my actual thoughts... and then I'm like, 'well, maybe that's what everyone does...' but I don't think everyone does that" OH GOD OH GOD
EDIT omg my weird ass has never gotten this many likes tbh so thank you for relating to my existential desolation
gummolife This was just so incredibly relatable. I also always get the feeling that we have these lines that are defined by our social standards but we never speak the truth
@@videospielesindkunst it's because that's the truth. There are certain things you can say, but say something thats a little out of the ordinary and suddenly youre different, and a little alien, and that can scare some people. Read the script to your circle, or speak your truth alone.
@sammmas its all pretending to me. I can express any thought I have adequately, but unless I follow these weird social rules, i run the risk of putting people off. Not saying i will always repulse everyone, but ultimately social interaction is a game which, upon playing, makes my expression feel unnecessarily diminished.
@sammmas yeah, thats true. I wish we could stabilize enough to not have to need to worry about survival, there are so many mechanisms for survival that dont fit in our modern lives. But thats probably impossible
@@gnickthegnome1981 I spend wwwaaayyy too much time thinking about shit like this. 'couldnt we circumvent this otherwise seemingly arbitrary rule which makes everyone feel shitty and alienated?' only to rebut myself and be like 'oh. nope. this is just the human condition. like, you dont get to exist without this thing that makes it suck' :/
I know this is like 2 years late, but I genuinely love your content so much. The audio design, the cinematics, the things you say - the sentiments you express - I have been thinking these internally but didn't know how to express any of it. Thank you.
gives me some comfort knowing im not alone with these feelings
"I always assume I'm never anyone’s priority and so I don’t go out of my way to make anyone else a priority" ugh I felt THAT
And if you decide to make everyone else a priority, one day, a year or so later, you realise that if you never start conversation with your friends, you never hear from them.
Neil Bedwell and that’s the paradox, isn’t it?
@@residentartist I mean, it broke my heart when I figured it out, but then trying to understand if that was somehow my fault sent me neurotic.
Some people are so eager to tell you the truth that you can't trust it isn't
a lie, and some people are so afraid to lie that they can't even tell you
the truth.
Neil Bedwell Damn. Heartbreaking, indeed. Not sure how old you are, but it’s the kind of thing they don’t tell you about adulthood - how people can come and go, sometimes intentionally, and sometimes (hopefully) not. I think we’re all feeling this weird, in-between space at one point or another. Hope it gets better on your end...
@@neilbedwell7763 I did that, make people a priority and still... feel like you I'm not their priority. So now I just isolated myself, it's just tiring going after people that don't care.
the way that to me this is basically an 11 minute poem: soul = fed
I'm so obsessed with her videos I've watched every single one of them multiple times 😭😭 over and over again cause idk anyone else who makes content like this 😭❤️❤️
This video is both oddly comforting and terrifying. It's almost like I'm looking at my everyday thoughts packaged into a video, especially that part where several thoughts are going one after the other without pause. The idea of forming new friendships is something I desperately want yet it's scary to even think about actually going for it. But being lonely can be so unbearable at times. I've had a few friends throughout my life but most weren't permanent, except for online friends. And even there I feel distant for some reason. Seeing so many friendships come and go has made me kind of uncertain of whether I should even keep trying. I struggle with reaching a balance of being on my own but also being there with and for others. I lost a whole relationship and friendship for simply being there too much, and I drift apart from others for not being there enough. What balance do I need to be there and be part of other's lives? My mind's already short-circuiting giving thought to all this lmao.
Anyway, long ramble aside, beautiful video.
yo yoshi, dont think too much over everything let things happen and let things move on mario'd be there for you if he knew what was on your mind so dont think too hard cuz =-0
“I think something is wrong with me.” oh if I had a dollar for every time i’ve said that to myself.
I could pay for the therapy I obviously need
Amanda Godman therapy is a joke all woodo mumbo jumbo
according to what standard?
“Other people are terrifying because you can’t know what they’re thinking” ugh this hit harder than I wanted it to😵
Max Dightman
Probably similar things to you.
Lewis Michael Harold and thats what makes it so much worse !!
Max Dightman
Maybe they're not thinking similar things to you. Maybe they're wondering what they will eat for dinner that night or what pair of shoes they will own next?
Lewis Michael Harold exactly. Its the not knowing that fucks with me bc for some reason i have this desire to know what I never will.
Maybe they're also wondering if they would be able to control themselves when they lose control in public and do something really terrifying
its so hard to make "meaningful connections" when youve become an adult tho , i feel like i am super picky with people where some super small thing would put me off and when it does not happen i just get too attached to people that arent as attached to me , which in turn puts me off , i feel like making friends during childhood is super underrated , because when you grow up with someone , build experiences and memories together then only can you say that yes you know this x person , now its not that i "cant" make friends , its just that i have to act super fucking fake to keep the shit going , which is like a top 3 worst thing to do for me . and when i try too hard to be this fake me to seek validation from people around me i feel like i start loosing myself where i would start acting like the kind of people i cringed and laughed at before , idk why tf did i write all this asw like classic me wasting time
That feeling of not fitting in, as a teenager used to feel abnormally beautiful. Like we are angels among Humans who are supposed to be average while we're meant for the most extraordinary things like we're the ones who are going to save this world. But as I grew up, this feeling of being a misfit grew and didn't turn out to make me a great conversationalist. Overcompensating when I think I haven't done or said enough, intentionally not picking up the phone, not at all being great at conversations, mistrusting intentions of others because when I see good in them they wrong me and when I don't, they unexpectedly surprise me with goodness. I can relate to each and every word you say.
i feel like im watching a prettier, more eloquent and dreamy version of myself through a screen when I watch your videos
SAME
You are special
Sike
THIS
You could always be thinner, look prettier, read more books.
"I feel like I'm just saying lines" this video. holy shit. i related to all of it.
i have never commented on a video before. I know that this was posted two years ago, but i have never come across someone who thinks the way that i do about life and human connection. i feel the exact same way and it’s so comforting to know that i am not alone. i long to feel alive and connected to others, i am so grateful that i came across this video. thank you :))
I find myself coming back to this video a lot. This, and your whole channel in general, has like... spoken to my soul, lmao. I live in a constant struggle of loneliness, where I am always questioning who my friends are or if I even have any.
Hearing your words in this made me feel seen. Like someone actually understands me. Thank you for making such an amazing video, random person I'll never meet ❤.
this exactly how i feel and what i do too :’) hope we figure things out one day
Never related with some random UA-cam recommendation as this one
This is way too relatable. Talking to people is hard especially when you dont know who you are. I am always feeling like I portray someone who isnt me.
UwU Anime literally same.
I feel almost everything you’re talking about in this video. I’m also 23 rn, and for a long period of time I couldn’t have found the proper words to describe these feelings. You helped me to better understand them, thank you so-so much!
And I hope that you found some really good people with who you are able to feel that emotional connection you were trying to find
So I live on the Big Island of Hawaii and on the road toward my subdivision there is a sign that you pass as you drive down the road that says "you are loved" and when you were saying that you want to feel so loved at the end of your life it reminded me of it and I think that signs like that should be in more places around the world
This might seem a bit nuts but over da years I'm realizing that committing to your own character as if you've been cast in a cosmic play and want to play the role you were given as authentically as it should be played seems to move the narrative forward. It's when I'm angry at the world for not being what I know it could be that I have to sit in the 'dressing room' of life mumbling while the show goes on. I've seen it too many times in my life where making the switch of perspective has resulted in something happening almost immediately, like the video is paused until the right moment, wait I can't do a theater metaphor AND a VHS metaphor. Fucks sake. You get me, you get me.
OOF! NOT NUTS! that's exactly the root of all of my bs, the world not being what u know it could be. so much angst. am v into this
Our mind is more powerful than we give it credit for indeed. If we could just get over the fact we're the way we are because we think of ourselves that way...
We are always subconsciously convincing ourselves to be a certain way, a certain personality type, a certain kind of person. Smart or stupid, greedy or generous, lonely or not. Building a caricature of us that we reinforce at every opportunity we get. Surely we are this way, and we get happy when we agree with everything around us that agrees with our idea of ourselves, be it actually how we are or just this obscured view of our soul, projected on a wall.
I think humans are destined to have this flaw though, it may be a trade-off for our consciousness.
I've been thinking about *something* like this recently, and reading this... this is it! Instead of whinging or being sad, like I feel I do on repeat, I have to take the stage, press play, y'know. Felt more hope when I was younger, maybe just because I did play my own part with more than I do now.
Can confirm not nuts. Very into this!! Insightful in a big way, gave me a lot to think and write about!
crabstickz oh this is! This is exactly how I feel!
youtube suggested said "we crying tonight"
i love how vulnerable this comment section is. i feel like we're all connecting to each other.
I relate to you so much. The way you described yourself.. it’s like I’m looking into a mirror.
we are the most connected generation, yet the looniest
Thats deep
It's exactly because of that connection that people are lonely. People are not doing things in real life anymore. Only online. In essence, they're playing with their imaginary friends at the expense of their real lives
@@heinoustentacles5719 well said
lol looni
Cuz there are no real connections between ppl.
i can't explain how soothing her voice is...it's like she's singing
God I have never felt such rush of emotions through a youtube video. Here's a warm hug for you and everyone else who feels like this
i really admire how you are able to put all those thoughts and feelings into words... i feel very much the same, but could never express it this well. thank you!
The fact that UA-cam recommended this to me makes me feel like UA-cam knows me better than I know me
The algorithm is omnipotent and omniscient.
To think of the power of big tech companies is terrifiying
"I will never ever truly know what they're thinking, but god do I understand"
oh my god i needed this video😭 it actually feels like you're describing my own thoughts, it is so relieving to know that other people feel like me
ive looked so long for a youtuber i can relate to and today i found you. i started by watching your 20,000 book copy video then i saw this video and had to click. you brought me to tears and i cannot thank you enough for helping me feel not insane and alone.