There is constant debate about whether the word "Queer" is a good umbrella term for the LGBTQIAA2+ community or a slur that should never be used. I'll break it down.
Hello everyone! Thank you for watching! I appreciate differing opinions in the comments, I understand a lot of people disagree with me or have different perspectives, and I welcome discussion about it! Terminology is always changing to keep up with culture and I don't know everything! I am, however, deleting comments that are just outright hateful of the queer community.
Good point. Of course, on the flip side, mainstream academia still refuses to adapt to the preferred language/labels of other marginalized groups. I’ve read anecdotal accounts of college professors lecturing disabled students that they’re wrong for preferring identity-first language, for example.
@@GhostIntoTheFog Lowkey kinda hate person-first language bein used on me lol and I'm pretty outspoken so I would prolly get myself in trouble if I ran into one of those college professors haha
I'm definitely queer, but it's not just my bi/pansexuality that is unusual. I also have skeletal deformities and deviant ideas and politics. I feel a strong connection with the term. I always have. I've always preferred the company of other freaks and queers, and can be quite uncomfortable with people who don't at least try to step outside of the confinement of "normal" and try to do something amazing instead.
I don't like the word but, I'm not gonna get upset if another LGBT person uses it. I just don't feel comfortable identifying with it or using it to describe someone else. Though I call myself gaysexual. It's a portmanteau of gay and asexual. Yeah I'm ace but I'm romantically attracted to men. But that's just a term I made up because I thought it was clever. I have been called a faker before for that. Or more accurately a poser. I've been told I'm not gay if I haven't been with someone sexually. But I thought gays were born that way. Kinda hypocritical.
Boring cis/het person, but I use it as an umbrella term for the reasons you've laid out. It's a more efficient use of syllables (and easier to remember) than the letters. Importantly, it is also how many of my friends have described themselves over the years. It often feels more accurate than attempting to apply specific labels to every person.
For me I interpret the word Queer (as in the Q in LGBTQIA+) to mean "sexuality undefined". That is, one is making a statement that the human experience is way too complex to fit into simple boxes like gay, straight, bi, ace etc. So instead you identify with the word Queer while giving no further definition or qualification. Genderqueer I also interpret as the gender equivalent of the above.
People really do seem to forget that most of our community language has been reclaimed and de-medicalised. I've used many different words to describe my experiences to many different people. Some words carry painful memories. Some words are unacceptable when used by one person, but fine when used by another. But when I am talking about other people, I often just default to queer.
Yes, absolutely! I think a lot of the arguments from chronically online queer people stem from people being unable or unwilling to accept that words change meaning in their social contexts and change meaning over time. So while many older gays might not like the term "queer" because in the context of their lives, it was really bad, the younger generations like "Queer" because they are often hit with things like "alphabet soup people" or "alphabet people" referring to "LGBTQIAA2+" so "Queer" works better for them.
Autism (and other neurodivergencies, but it's autism month) has a huge overlap with queerness. Part of the reason why the term neueroqueer is also gaining in popularity within the community. Because being neurodivergent inherently queers the way that you interact with the world, and automatically gets you chronically stuck with some kind of a Weird label. It's also a major predictor of poverty and being vulnernable to abuse, and discriminated against in professional settings. In a lot of very similar ways to a lot of queer people. For being unable or uunwilling to mask and put on the best Professional performance and appearance. Despite many people claiming autism isn't a real disability and doesn't really need accomodation or increased understanding, it's the most unemployed disabled community. at 70-85%, even among college educated ones. AUtism within local homeless populations range from 15-40% based only on official diagnosis (not counting those who weren't flagged as needing any help and thus never got diagnosed but then hit a wall of burnout and regression, which is very common. Hence the whole burnt out gifted kid meme). 1/3 autistic people experience hikikimori. And it really compounds with queerness, because often disabled people are forced to remain closeted or at least Toned Down in order to recieve support/not experience abuse from family or the like. And with autism that can be extra hard to actually comply with long term. Resulting in a lot of abusive situations and loss of any and all support. As well as a general framing of autistic struggles as chracter flaws and actually perfectly valid reasons to kick out an entitled spoiled brat, often framed as "tough love" and "helping" (eg executive function, sensory issues, employment struggles, burnout struggles, struggles with ADLs/daily chores, emotional regulation issues, meltdowns etc)
and tbh autism is really the only reason why an identity like autixenoflux is even a thing with an understandable lore, even if there is no actual wiki entry on that specific term at this time lol
Actually on the crossover between neurodivergence and queerness. You can even notice how some of the physical traits and characteristics associated with gay men and other queer people is kind of neurodivergent in nature. Talking with a lisp, having unusual posture or fashion interests, limp wrists, a girl dressing for fashion or even not wearing makeup being autistic/queer/just vaguely Not Like Other GIrls coded. ...it's a lumped in stereotype for a reason. Diagnostic criteria for autism used to include things like disregard for gender norms and claiming to be a different gender than they Really Are. ABA is a twin of conversion therapy and still treated as The Autism Treatemet by much of the medical establishment, even clamoring for public funding while queer groups focus only on gay conversion therapy. In fact a lot of the DIY ABA from my liberal ally mom just ended up replicating conversion therapy I had at my dad's house. Because she bought into the narrative taht autistic people just need to be taight their real gender and how to properly conform to it. Even into the late teens and adulthood. Only to later on claim that she had no idea I had even expressed a trans identity. Because it was all just filtered into correcting autistic behavior away. THe things are way more related than a lot of neurotypicals like to think about.
YES! I talked about that in my review of Camp Damascus! ABA IS conversion therapy. For autistic people. And both of those are torture. A disproportionate amount of autistic people are queer, the reasons behind that are complicated and not fully understood but it is absolutely true.
@Fawkseyness It does often frustrate me that the queer community at large doesn’t recognize ABA as conversion therapy or include it in its abolition efforts. A friend of mine who is an ABA survivor said they don’t feel they’re even taken seriously by their allistic queer peers when they share their trauma. Considering how much overlap there is between the queer and neurodivergent communities, it’s disheartening to see our common oppression separated into two distinct boxes. Conversion therapy is conversion therapy.
My brother hates it and went *off* about how his college had a 'Beers with Queers' night.... he's weirdly dedicated to being as masc and straight-passing as possible, though. I... am too ill to put much into my appearance atm, and my physical therapist told me this morning that I need to dye my hair blue and tell my work that I'm nonbinary to get them to make reasonable accommodations for my illness. I am nonbinary, and I've had interesting hair colors over the years, but uh. Yea, no, if anything that would hurt my chances of being taken seriously by my employer. I prefer Queer, though. It's comfortable for me.
I got a fast food job with blue hair once. The only one there with obviously dyed hair. But as soon as I have an autistic shutdown at work (I usually work on prep and washing dishes but was put on drive thru because super busy right after a college game and they refused to believe it's a terrible idea to make me have to rapidly switch tasks, talk to customers, multi task etc). The manager decided to impose a new rule banning dyed hair...he tried to find an area in the employee handbook to justify "just going back to the official rules". But the handbook explicitly said there is no restriction on hair color, only on hair length/containment. So he literally penciled in a new rule nullifying that specifically just to discriminate against me without pointing to disability for it. literally everyone knew what it was about and why. And many came to me specifically to show sympathy. I came in with a wig until they just decided to stop scheduling me at all to get rid of me
@@mudkip_btw oh, I live in Montana-Dakota territory. Dude has no clue I'm Queer-- he was "making a joke," stacked on a lot of assumptions. I'm kinda cagey around people I don't know well, because it's dangerous to deviate or be AFAB here.
I like the word queer because I don't fit super cleanly into "gay" even though it applies somewhat, but I'm definitely a queer individual in the classical sense for a bunch of non-gender/sex related reasons. I like "queer" because instead of just being about making society accept a discrete set of presentations and activities it's about changing how things are deemed acceptable in the first place.
Queer is like the only word that even comes close to describing me I refuse to stop using it for myself. If anyone genuinely used Queer as a slur against me I would feel so fucking validated lmao. I also will use it as an umbrella term for large groups of Queer people - I will not use it for individuals unless I know for sure they claim the term, because I know especially elders in the community who might have genuine trauma from the word. I will however continue to push back against truscum +others who try to push the narrative that it shouldn't be reclaimed/should remain a slur. What use does the community have from allowing it to remain a weapon used against us? For situations like these I remember that GOT Tyrion quote - "Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." I take this mindset with all the things about myself that others might disparage, and simply embrace these parts of myself instead of agreeing that they're odd and wrong and being ashamed.
I absolutely agree! I think some of these people have a vested interest in having it remain a slur. I think that exact attitude you described is a great reason why we reclaim slurs - if we own them, they can't be used against us.
There are younger folks openly using f****t now, which is the word used against me before I was ever attacked growing up. At first I was uncomfortable with the idea, but now i think it's kind of cool that they're reclaiming it! The term "gay" was also used to describe literally anything disgusting or bad while I was growing up, and I was called "lesbian" whenever I rejected advances from men or boys. All of these words had bad connotations for me growing up, associated with bullying and violence. But once I got older, I'm realizing that language changes quickly, and intent is hugely what determines a word's meaning. I use queer for myself, because it's simple and gets the point across. I'm a straight passing bisexual, and the shit that I take about it in queer groups (and straight groups) is ridiculous, so using queer as a label helps.
Yeah I have been physically assaulted by someone calling me a lesbian, but I don't think that warrants giving up the word entirely and ceding it to those who hate us. I love when people understand that language changes! And it changes quickly! Lesbian used to mean anyone in the wlw community and now it refers mostly to exclusively homosexual women. That change is super recent, within the last 30 years. I didn't say it in the video but some of this probably does come down to generational differences and the generation wars. Old people always think the kids are crazy and cringe and vice versa, no matter what the differences actually are.
I like using the term queer for myself because otherwise I'm not sure how to label myself, I love the broadness and fluidity of it, and I'm not going to let mean people use that word to tear me or other people who like using the term for themselves down. I would rather embrace the label and make it my own Beyond that, I've always been odd/weird to others, even disregarding the parts of my identity that fall within the LGBT+ community. I don't think being odd or weird is a weakness, even if others think that. If they're gonna brand me as something other than the norm anyway, then why agonize over it? They're silly for doing that, in my opinion You're very well-spoken in your videos and I do agree that people shouldn't police what other people choose to reclaim. It's one thing if they're being hateful to others, but if they are just policing others for no solid reason other than slur bad... I'm not sure how I see it as their place to dictate how someone decides to refer to themself Best of luck with growing your channel, friendo
I love the is that a twink or a lesbian. I as a chunky gay man spent a night flirting with a fem twink but after a bit we realized she was a woman and I just looked like Rosie O'Donnell from a league of your own.
I'm a 36yo, closeted, recently self-diagnosed autistic "pansexual"(?) "nonbinary(?)" afab, etc etc - QUEER. I've only recently allowed myself to begin identifying with the queer and autistic communities. Growing up in the 90's and early 2000's, I wasn't even exposed to these ideas - autism was for unruly boys, and I only knew about L,G, and B. And I definitely had no concept of autism and queerness having any relation to one another. I simply didn't have language to describe myself (still kind of don't), and I've spent my whole life masking and struggling with imposter syndrome and social constructs in general. I only just started learning about autism and queer diversity in the last couple of years (still learning). But I'm really fascinated by it, and what Im learning gives me a greater understanding of myself and of the complexities of the human experience in general. It's truly impressive to me how creative and diverse we are as a species - the ways we conceptualize, identify, and express ourselves. I currently primarily use the term "queer" when describing myself (within a certain context, i.e. safe spaces etc), in part because I don't really have a desire to "nail myself down" to hyper-specific identities (although I do find them interesting and useful); and because it's frankly too complicated and unnecessary to have to write a philosophical thesis paper (that only a fraction of society even understands) every time I want to casually refer to myself. I also use "queer" when referring to the community in general, and for essentially the same reasons. Unless you're getting into a more nuanced discussion, we need an umbrella term that is both practical and inclusive. We can't keep adding letters forever, and frankly I've heard people mock the alphabet soup WAY more often than I've heard "queer" used as an insult in modern discourse. A lot of people have trauma associated with the word "queer", and there is room for us to honor that because it's a relevant part of our history, but they also need to understand that "queer" has been reclaimed by the community and is largely considered a power word precisely for that reason. A word can have multiple meanings and functions.
Queer is a useful word, more so than the alphabet soup label.. the F word was used as the slur in my experience .. It's just nuts trying to say lgbtqia+ in conversations.
Having been born a true hermaphrodite, now known simply as "intersex", I was never considered "queer", an early derogatory word for gays, and yet today the word "queer" has become not only acceptable but a "proud" word used by many LGBTQ, doesn't figure does it. I guess times have changed, even though I am trying to adjust to the new "norms". I must admit that I am having much difficulty, to say the least, trying to adjust to these new "norms" but as a member of the LGBTQ "I" A, I find that I must at least make an attempt to adjust to modern society.
We’re here. We’re queer. We don’t want anymore bears. (Sorry, the Simpson-obsessed kid in me couldn’t resist.) Seriously, though, you did an excellent job outlining the history of the term and explaining how and why it was reclaimed. I can understand why someone who had queer hurled at them as a slur would be opposed to reclaiming it, but, as someone without that baggage, I’m comfortable using it as an umbrella term. (I started using the MOGAI acronym recently, BTW. It seems to get across what LGBTQIA2S+ does in a much more efficient way that doesn’t always categorize one group or another as “the rest.” Not quite as efficient as queer, of course.) Some people don’t understand that reclaiming a slur or other negative term/symbol is nuanced and extremely dependent on context and history. As an Autistic, I’ve had it argued to me (primarily by deeply self-loathing people) that we should reclaim “Aspie,” the puzzle piece or even the r-word, and I kindly tell those people where they can shove their terrible suggestions. I also appreciated your point regarding those who think normalization and acceptability and are the best or only path toward liberation. Choosing how to present ourselves based on how inoffensive or unthreatening we think it will make us appear is not liberation; at best, it’s a gilded cage. I’m going to go binge the rest of your back catalog now. I hope you’ll set up some way to support the channel in the future (like a certain platform beginning with “P” and ending with “N”).
No Queer isn't a slur we reclaimed it. It is away to describe the entirety of the LGBTQ + so saying you are Queer is short hand for saying you are one or more of the letters in the LGBTQ + We have taken it back along time ago around the time when Millenials was just getting out of high school or maybe a little later? As for me instead of listing out all the letters I am which is 3 I just say Queer.
I guess it depends on how you view the word on its own. Does the word itself, when used to describe something other than people mean "freaky/weird/unnatural" or does it mean "different/unusual/eccentric", because it can be interpreted either way. That feeling probably carries over into other contexts, so some people are like "hell yeah, I dare to be different" and other people are like "who' you callin' a weirdo, a**hole?"
I would posit that it doesn't mean either of those things in the use case of referencing the queer community. I would argue that it currently refers to what many chronically online people would call MOGAI - "Marginalized orientations, Gender Alignments, and Intersex" - rather than the other use case of "odd or unusual." Like how the "Plain Community" refers to the Amish, Mennonites, Hutterites, and others who dress and live similarly. The word "Plain" means ordinary, not remarkable or special, undecorated, etc but those people are considered extremely odd and unusual to us and stylistically distinct. They do have specific trappings, or decorations, which define the style. The word is being used for a specific community and not in terms of the adjective "plain." I see Queer as having taken on an entirely separate meaning from "odd and unusual" in this context. Which often happens as language changes to keep up with culture.
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash I'm the one to say thank you here! Your takes are supre based (and not just compared to all the cishet nonsense out there) and make me think.
I'm not sure what this means but I get most of my clothes from people throwing their old clothes away (literally the garbage) or thrift stores and I dress mostly for comfort. My hair is looking especially Karenesque in this video, I very much need to trim it.
The more we use “slurs” I feel like the more numb they become who decided these things were offensive it’s so stupid in my opinion but because I’m a respectful human being I’m not gonna go around saying slurs so don’t take it that way
You're only gonna say a slur if you mean to say one. Meanwhile, if you won't say queer, you are literally refusing to say my identify, which forget insulting, is marginalizing. It is marginalizing to refuse to voice my identify.
I mean, if there are people who genuinely identify as queer, it’s not a slur. Let’s try to keep in mind that the people who we want to respect are the ones who *aren’t* using queer as a slur, so their usage is by default the correct usage. Let’s not forget that in the 90’s, “gay” was used as a slur by edgy teens and young adults. Reclaiming words is far more powerful and much more helpful to the movement than bowing to hate and being scared to say a word because a mean person said it in a hateful way 🤨 Obviously don’t throw it around at anyone who still isn’t comfortable with it, but, and I can’t stress this enough, when it comes to calling people what they want to be called, it’s not about you. You can choose to identify how you like and people should definitely respect your choices, ie not wanting to be called queer, but that also means that others that make the decision to identify as queer should get the same respect of their identity as you get from them.
My little horse must think it queer To stop without a farmhouse near Between the woods and frozen lake The darkest evening of the year. But, you guys worry too much about labels and stuff. People nowadays want to label themselves before they're out of kindergarten. Its the age old, "what job would you like to have". Everyone has ideas but I never thought someone in school should be making life decisions like that, half of the kids in class would probably die or become junkies anyways. But, be what you want to be - but dont get surprised when the process of fate takes you the opposite direction. That being said I'm sort of ambiguous by nature. But im not interested in taking a stand because it doesnt matter.
This was a great video! As a baby-gay, I almost fell deep into the respectability-trap, so glad I got over it. As queer people we still often begin our life denying parts or all of our identities, why should be then turn around and impose that horrible state on anyone else, especially our queer siblings?!
It happens to a lot of people! And to me it's super understandable, they have internalized a lot of self-hatred and are processing it. I try to have a lot of patience and grace for young queer people who fall into this. It's sometimes difficult. I'm glad you were able to overcome it!
Yessss, I completely agree that it needs to be reclaimed! I remember when I was young, I never swore at all on purpose; I was too bashful to say "sex" out loud, cause I was told not to say "sexy" as a kid, so when it came time to talk about it in class, I tried to say "gender" to refer to sexual intercourse, kehehe! Back then, I'd have said "there's no reason to swear, there are other, more creative ways to describe things." LGBTQ, and its derivatives, are not only unwieldy, but it keeps updating when I'm not looking! Like, I didn't even realize there's an "A2" at the end now, making the umbrella term to describe us a whopping 10 syllables of alphabet soup. At this point, queer is easier to say, easier to type, AND easier to remember, and it forces people to see us all as a community while taking away any power that term has to be used against us. Nowadays, I swear like a sailor AND describe things in creative and fun ways! Words carry weight, but they don't have a mind of their own. I gained a special brand of confidence when I grew up and allowed myself to cuss up a storm, no longer limiting my f bombs to the warzone of my mind. I say we should feel free to reclaim slurs used against us, ... - --- .--.
I personally love the term "queer", and some of it is because of what it used to mean. I'm neurodivergent, gay, ace, a trans demiboy, demi-romantic and a femboy, and if society thinks I'm "strange" or "odd", the hell yeah, I'll be queer until the end of time, and be proud to be a weirdo :3
I don't like it when people call me that word. I won't use it, because that word reminds me of traumatic events. I prefer MOGAI, since it's easier to say than LGBTQIA2S+.
I like MOGAI, I think it's a very good term. But it never really fully caught on even among the community. To me that makes it sort of difficult to use it when discussing community-wide issues as most people don't really even know what it is. Terminology is always changing and updating in the community so I think MOGAI could catch on eventually, that would be cool.
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash unrelated, but it would be cool if your channel blew up! More people need to hear what you have to say. I make UA-cam videos about being trans, nonbinary, and black, but since I'm a teeny tiny fish in a large ocean, my channel barely gets any attention. I hope we both blow up, and people hear what we have to say.
That's so funny! Before he transitioned I used to get told I looked like him and now I'm getting it again! I always thought it was just that we were both really short but you can't see that in this video lol
I'm queer as hell, but personally I don't really like the LGBTQIAA2+ acronym you used. In San Francisco earlier this year someone told me that they use 2SLGBTQIA+ (two spirit, lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer, intersex, ace) as the acronym for the community and I've been using that ever since. I find it easier to write/remember and I like that it emphasizes the validity of two spirit people by placing '2S' at the beginning of the acronym.
I don't mind changing the acronym to the new one, the reasoning makes sense to me. I do think making the switch community-wide might be difficult. I'll consider switching up my language. I'll have to look into this! Thank you!
no, queer is a political orientation and not and identity. So it means actually nothing. This is according to the first definition which you can read in Saint Foucault.
In my community, 'queer' is most popular among women who are entirely compatible with heterosexuality. Essentially, we're talking about soccer moms. No shade on these women, but _actual homosexuals_ aren't being assimilationist when we don't see a commonality with them. A minority shouldn't have to accommodate the majority with how we describe ourselves, even if the majority wants so bad to experience the marginalization we had to contend with. My problem with the word isn't because it may mean 'weird' but because STRAIGHT people absolutely love using it for themselves.
Yeah, as I say in the video, if someone doesn't want to be called queer, don't call them queer. But they can't then police other people's language for their own identities.
Hello everyone! Thank you for watching! I appreciate differing opinions in the comments, I understand a lot of people disagree with me or have different perspectives, and I welcome discussion about it! Terminology is always changing to keep up with culture and I don't know everything!
I am, however, deleting comments that are just outright hateful of the queer community.
I've heard Queer in a hate context, but not for decades.
Really, anyone who doesn't fit into the mainstream "norm" is technically _Queer._
When universities departments of Queer Studies, I hardly think that it can be considered a slur anymore.
Good point. Of course, on the flip side, mainstream academia still refuses to adapt to the preferred language/labels of other marginalized groups. I’ve read anecdotal accounts of college professors lecturing disabled students that they’re wrong for preferring identity-first language, for example.
Universities can really suck when it comes to disability and disabled students.
@@GhostIntoTheFog Lowkey kinda hate person-first language bein used on me lol and I'm pretty outspoken so I would prolly get myself in trouble if I ran into one of those college professors haha
I'm definitely queer, but it's not just my bi/pansexuality that is unusual. I also have skeletal deformities and deviant ideas and politics. I feel a strong connection with the term. I always have. I've always preferred the company of other freaks and queers, and can be quite uncomfortable with people who don't at least try to step outside of the confinement of "normal" and try to do something amazing instead.
I don't like the word but, I'm not gonna get upset if another LGBT person uses it. I just don't feel comfortable identifying with it or using it to describe someone else.
Though I call myself gaysexual. It's a portmanteau of gay and asexual. Yeah I'm ace but I'm romantically attracted to men. But that's just a term I made up because I thought it was clever. I have been called a faker before for that. Or more accurately a poser. I've been told I'm not gay if I haven't been with someone sexually. But I thought gays were born that way. Kinda hypocritical.
Boring cis/het person, but I use it as an umbrella term for the reasons you've laid out. It's a more efficient use of syllables (and easier to remember) than the letters. Importantly, it is also how many of my friends have described themselves over the years. It often feels more accurate than attempting to apply specific labels to every person.
For me I interpret the word Queer (as in the Q in LGBTQIA+) to mean "sexuality undefined".
That is, one is making a statement that the human experience is way too complex to fit into simple boxes like gay, straight, bi, ace etc.
So instead you identify with the word Queer while giving no further definition or qualification.
Genderqueer I also interpret as the gender equivalent of the above.
Thank you for writing/posting this. Your comment is exactly what I've been looking for.
People really do seem to forget that most of our community language has been reclaimed and de-medicalised. I've used many different words to describe my experiences to many different people. Some words carry painful memories. Some words are unacceptable when used by one person, but fine when used by another. But when I am talking about other people, I often just default to queer.
Yes, absolutely! I think a lot of the arguments from chronically online queer people stem from people being unable or unwilling to accept that words change meaning in their social contexts and change meaning over time. So while many older gays might not like the term "queer" because in the context of their lives, it was really bad, the younger generations like "Queer" because they are often hit with things like "alphabet soup people" or "alphabet people" referring to "LGBTQIAA2+" so "Queer" works better for them.
@@Trash-Garbage-TrashThink it might be time for us to reclaim "alphabet people" as an aroace enby here.
Autism (and other neurodivergencies, but it's autism month) has a huge overlap with queerness. Part of the reason why the term neueroqueer is also gaining in popularity within the community. Because being neurodivergent inherently queers the way that you interact with the world, and automatically gets you chronically stuck with some kind of a Weird label.
It's also a major predictor of poverty and being vulnernable to abuse, and discriminated against in professional settings. In a lot of very similar ways to a lot of queer people. For being unable or uunwilling to mask and put on the best Professional performance and appearance.
Despite many people claiming autism isn't a real disability and doesn't really need accomodation or increased understanding, it's the most unemployed disabled community. at 70-85%, even among college educated ones.
AUtism within local homeless populations range from 15-40% based only on official diagnosis (not counting those who weren't flagged as needing any help and thus never got diagnosed but then hit a wall of burnout and regression, which is very common. Hence the whole burnt out gifted kid meme).
1/3 autistic people experience hikikimori.
And it really compounds with queerness, because often disabled people are forced to remain closeted or at least Toned Down in order to recieve support/not experience abuse from family or the like. And with autism that can be extra hard to actually comply with long term. Resulting in a lot of abusive situations and loss of any and all support. As well as a general framing of autistic struggles as chracter flaws and actually perfectly valid reasons to kick out an entitled spoiled brat, often framed as "tough love" and "helping" (eg executive function, sensory issues, employment struggles, burnout struggles, struggles with ADLs/daily chores, emotional regulation issues, meltdowns etc)
and tbh autism is really the only reason why an identity like autixenoflux is even a thing with an understandable lore, even if there is no actual wiki entry on that specific term at this time lol
Actually on the crossover between neurodivergence and queerness. You can even notice how some of the physical traits and characteristics associated with gay men and other queer people is kind of neurodivergent in nature.
Talking with a lisp, having unusual posture or fashion interests, limp wrists, a girl dressing for fashion or even not wearing makeup being autistic/queer/just vaguely Not Like Other GIrls coded. ...it's a lumped in stereotype for a reason.
Diagnostic criteria for autism used to include things like disregard for gender norms and claiming to be a different gender than they Really Are. ABA is a twin of conversion therapy and still treated as The Autism Treatemet by much of the medical establishment, even clamoring for public funding while queer groups focus only on gay conversion therapy.
In fact a lot of the DIY ABA from my liberal ally mom just ended up replicating conversion therapy I had at my dad's house. Because she bought into the narrative taht autistic people just need to be taight their real gender and how to properly conform to it. Even into the late teens and adulthood. Only to later on claim that she had no idea I had even expressed a trans identity. Because it was all just filtered into correcting autistic behavior away.
THe things are way more related than a lot of neurotypicals like to think about.
YES! I talked about that in my review of Camp Damascus! ABA IS conversion therapy. For autistic people. And both of those are torture. A disproportionate amount of autistic people are queer, the reasons behind that are complicated and not fully understood but it is absolutely true.
Just being neurodivergent fits the historical definition of Queer.
@Fawkseyness It does often frustrate me that the queer community at large doesn’t recognize ABA as conversion therapy or include it in its abolition efforts. A friend of mine who is an ABA survivor said they don’t feel they’re even taken seriously by their allistic queer peers when they share their trauma. Considering how much overlap there is between the queer and neurodivergent communities, it’s disheartening to see our common oppression separated into two distinct boxes. Conversion therapy is conversion therapy.
My brother hates it and went *off* about how his college had a 'Beers with Queers' night.... he's weirdly dedicated to being as masc and straight-passing as possible, though.
I... am too ill to put much into my appearance atm, and my physical therapist told me this morning that I need to dye my hair blue and tell my work that I'm nonbinary to get them to make reasonable accommodations for my illness. I am nonbinary, and I've had interesting hair colors over the years, but uh. Yea, no, if anything that would hurt my chances of being taken seriously by my employer. I prefer Queer, though. It's comfortable for me.
I got a fast food job with blue hair once. The only one there with obviously dyed hair.
But as soon as I have an autistic shutdown at work (I usually work on prep and washing dishes but was put on drive thru because super busy right after a college game and they refused to believe it's a terrible idea to make me have to rapidly switch tasks, talk to customers, multi task etc).
The manager decided to impose a new rule banning dyed hair...he tried to find an area in the employee handbook to justify "just going back to the official rules". But the handbook explicitly said there is no restriction on hair color, only on hair length/containment. So he literally penciled in a new rule nullifying that specifically just to discriminate against me without pointing to disability for it. literally everyone knew what it was about and why. And many came to me specifically to show sympathy.
I came in with a wig until they just decided to stop scheduling me at all to get rid of me
you need to dye your hair to "pass" as nonbinary? 👁️👄👁️
@@mudkip_btw oh, I live in Montana-Dakota territory. Dude has no clue I'm Queer-- he was "making a joke," stacked on a lot of assumptions. I'm kinda cagey around people I don't know well, because it's dangerous to deviate or be AFAB here.
I like the word queer because I don't fit super cleanly into "gay" even though it applies somewhat, but I'm definitely a queer individual in the classical sense for a bunch of non-gender/sex related reasons. I like "queer" because instead of just being about making society accept a discrete set of presentations and activities it's about changing how things are deemed acceptable in the first place.
I dig what I'm guessing is a giant spider on the top shelf.
Thanks! It's a jumping spider plushie! Someone gave it to me a few years ago. It's really cute.
I mean when people self identify as queer, who the hell am I to tell them they're wrong?
Precisely. A good lesson I think far too few people learn is, “You don’t get a vote in how other people choose to identify.”
Queer is like the only word that even comes close to describing me I refuse to stop using it for myself. If anyone genuinely used Queer as a slur against me I would feel so fucking validated lmao.
I also will use it as an umbrella term for large groups of Queer people - I will not use it for individuals unless I know for sure they claim the term, because I know especially elders in the community who might have genuine trauma from the word.
I will however continue to push back against truscum +others who try to push the narrative that it shouldn't be reclaimed/should remain a slur. What use does the community have from allowing it to remain a weapon used against us?
For situations like these I remember that GOT Tyrion quote - "Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." I take this mindset with all the things about myself that others might disparage, and simply embrace these parts of myself instead of agreeing that they're odd and wrong and being ashamed.
I absolutely agree! I think some of these people have a vested interest in having it remain a slur. I think that exact attitude you described is a great reason why we reclaim slurs - if we own them, they can't be used against us.
There are younger folks openly using f****t now, which is the word used against me before I was ever attacked growing up. At first I was uncomfortable with the idea, but now i think it's kind of cool that they're reclaiming it!
The term "gay" was also used to describe literally anything disgusting or bad while I was growing up, and I was called "lesbian" whenever I rejected advances from men or boys.
All of these words had bad connotations for me growing up, associated with bullying and violence. But once I got older, I'm realizing that language changes quickly, and intent is hugely what determines a word's meaning.
I use queer for myself, because it's simple and gets the point across. I'm a straight passing bisexual, and the shit that I take about it in queer groups (and straight groups) is ridiculous, so using queer as a label helps.
Yeah I have been physically assaulted by someone calling me a lesbian, but I don't think that warrants giving up the word entirely and ceding it to those who hate us.
I love when people understand that language changes! And it changes quickly! Lesbian used to mean anyone in the wlw community and now it refers mostly to exclusively homosexual women. That change is super recent, within the last 30 years.
I didn't say it in the video but some of this probably does come down to generational differences and the generation wars. Old people always think the kids are crazy and cringe and vice versa, no matter what the differences actually are.
Exactly! Language is such a beautiful thing, and we can't let hateful people take it from us.
I like using the term queer for myself because otherwise I'm not sure how to label myself, I love the broadness and fluidity of it, and I'm not going to let mean people use that word to tear me or other people who like using the term for themselves down. I would rather embrace the label and make it my own
Beyond that, I've always been odd/weird to others, even disregarding the parts of my identity that fall within the LGBT+ community. I don't think being odd or weird is a weakness, even if others think that. If they're gonna brand me as something other than the norm anyway, then why agonize over it? They're silly for doing that, in my opinion
You're very well-spoken in your videos and I do agree that people shouldn't police what other people choose to reclaim. It's one thing if they're being hateful to others, but if they are just policing others for no solid reason other than slur bad... I'm not sure how I see it as their place to dictate how someone decides to refer to themself
Best of luck with growing your channel, friendo
Thank you!
"but that's abig ask for the t's" as a tgirl that genuinely had me laughing out loud idk if that was meant to be a joke but it was funny asf lmao
Absolutely a joke lol. Thank you!
I love the is that a twink or a lesbian. I as a chunky gay man spent a night flirting with a fem twink but after a bit we realized she was a woman and I just looked like Rosie O'Donnell from a league of your own.
Lmao. Many such cases!
I'm a 36yo, closeted, recently self-diagnosed autistic "pansexual"(?) "nonbinary(?)" afab, etc etc - QUEER.
I've only recently allowed myself to begin identifying with the queer and autistic communities. Growing up in the 90's and early 2000's, I wasn't even exposed to these ideas - autism was for unruly boys, and I only knew about L,G, and B. And I definitely had no concept of autism and queerness having any relation to one another. I simply didn't have language to describe myself (still kind of don't), and I've spent my whole life masking and struggling with imposter syndrome and social constructs in general.
I only just started learning about autism and queer diversity in the last couple of years (still learning). But I'm really fascinated by it, and what Im learning gives me a greater understanding of myself and of the complexities of the human experience in general. It's truly impressive to me how creative and diverse we are as a species - the ways we conceptualize, identify, and express ourselves.
I currently primarily use the term "queer" when describing myself (within a certain context, i.e. safe spaces etc), in part because I don't really have a desire to "nail myself down" to hyper-specific identities (although I do find them interesting and useful); and because it's frankly too complicated and unnecessary to have to write a philosophical thesis paper (that only a fraction of society even understands) every time I want to casually refer to myself.
I also use "queer" when referring to the community in general, and for essentially the same reasons. Unless you're getting into a more nuanced discussion, we need an umbrella term that is both practical and inclusive. We can't keep adding letters forever, and frankly I've heard people mock the alphabet soup WAY more often than I've heard "queer" used as an insult in modern discourse.
A lot of people have trauma associated with the word "queer", and there is room for us to honor that because it's a relevant part of our history, but they also need to understand that "queer" has been reclaimed by the community and is largely considered a power word precisely for that reason. A word can have multiple meanings and functions.
Neurokin fist bump. Only recently started exploring my autigender/nonbinary identity.
Queer is a useful word, more so than the alphabet soup label.. the F word was used as the slur in my experience .. It's just nuts trying to say lgbtqia+ in conversations.
Yeah it's really clunky.
Having been born a true hermaphrodite, now known simply as "intersex", I was never considered "queer", an early derogatory word for gays, and yet today the word "queer" has become not only acceptable but a "proud" word used by many LGBTQ, doesn't figure does it. I guess times have changed, even though I am trying to adjust to the new "norms". I must admit that I am having much difficulty, to say the least, trying to adjust to these new "norms" but as a member of the LGBTQ "I" A, I find that I must at least make an attempt to adjust to modern society.
We’re here. We’re queer. We don’t want anymore bears. (Sorry, the Simpson-obsessed kid in me couldn’t resist.)
Seriously, though, you did an excellent job outlining the history of the term and explaining how and why it was reclaimed. I can understand why someone who had queer hurled at them as a slur would be opposed to reclaiming it, but, as someone without that baggage, I’m comfortable using it as an umbrella term. (I started using the MOGAI acronym recently, BTW. It seems to get across what LGBTQIA2S+ does in a much more efficient way that doesn’t always categorize one group or another as “the rest.” Not quite as efficient as queer, of course.)
Some people don’t understand that reclaiming a slur or other negative term/symbol is nuanced and extremely dependent on context and history. As an Autistic, I’ve had it argued to me (primarily by deeply self-loathing people) that we should reclaim “Aspie,” the puzzle piece or even the r-word, and I kindly tell those people where they can shove their terrible suggestions.
I also appreciated your point regarding those who think normalization and acceptability and are the best or only path toward liberation. Choosing how to present ourselves based on how inoffensive or unthreatening we think it will make us appear is not liberation; at best, it’s a gilded cage.
I’m going to go binge the rest of your back catalog now. I hope you’ll set up some way to support the channel in the future (like a certain platform beginning with “P” and ending with “N”).
Thank you! I don't know if I can make enough content for a channel and a patreon right now, but maybe in the future if people are interested!
✨d i s c o u r s e✨
No Queer isn't a slur we reclaimed it.
It is away to describe the entirety of the LGBTQ + so saying you are Queer is short hand for saying you are one or more of the letters in the LGBTQ +
We have taken it back along time ago around the time when Millenials was just getting out of high school or maybe a little later?
As for me instead of listing out all the letters I am which is 3
I just say Queer.
I guess it depends on how you view the word on its own. Does the word itself, when used to describe something other than people mean "freaky/weird/unnatural" or does it mean "different/unusual/eccentric", because it can be interpreted either way. That feeling probably carries over into other contexts, so some people are like "hell yeah, I dare to be different" and other people are like "who' you callin' a weirdo, a**hole?"
I would posit that it doesn't mean either of those things in the use case of referencing the queer community. I would argue that it currently refers to what many chronically online people would call MOGAI - "Marginalized orientations, Gender Alignments, and Intersex" - rather than the other use case of "odd or unusual." Like how the "Plain Community" refers to the Amish, Mennonites, Hutterites, and others who dress and live similarly. The word "Plain" means ordinary, not remarkable or special, undecorated, etc but those people are considered extremely odd and unusual to us and stylistically distinct. They do have specific trappings, or decorations, which define the style. The word is being used for a specific community and not in terms of the adjective "plain." I see Queer as having taken on an entirely separate meaning from "odd and unusual" in this context. Which often happens as language changes to keep up with culture.
UA-cam randomly suggested that video to me and I already watched almost all your videos! Keep it up! 🖤
Wow, thank you!
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash I'm the one to say thank you here! Your takes are supre based (and not just compared to all the cishet nonsense out there) and make me think.
Why are you styled like how we grew up ?
I'm not sure what this means but I get most of my clothes from people throwing their old clothes away (literally the garbage) or thrift stores and I dress mostly for comfort. My hair is looking especially Karenesque in this video, I very much need to trim it.
The more we use “slurs” I feel like the more numb they become who decided these things were offensive it’s so stupid in my opinion but because I’m a respectful human being I’m not gonna go around saying slurs so don’t take it that way
You're only gonna say a slur if you mean to say one. Meanwhile, if you won't say queer, you are literally refusing to say my identify, which forget insulting, is marginalizing. It is marginalizing to refuse to voice my identify.
I mean, if there are people who genuinely identify as queer, it’s not a slur.
Let’s try to keep in mind that the people who we want to respect are the ones who *aren’t* using queer as a slur, so their usage is by default the correct usage.
Let’s not forget that in the 90’s, “gay” was used as a slur by edgy teens and young adults.
Reclaiming words is far more powerful and much more helpful to the movement than bowing to hate and being scared to say a word because a mean person said it in a hateful way 🤨
Obviously don’t throw it around at anyone who still isn’t comfortable with it, but, and I can’t stress this enough, when it comes to calling people what they want to be called, it’s not about you.
You can choose to identify how you like and people should definitely respect your choices, ie not wanting to be called queer, but that also means that others that make the decision to identify as queer should get the same respect of their identity as you get from them.
CAN YOU TAKE ME ON A GAY TOUR?
A gay tour where I live would not be very long lol
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
But, you guys worry too much about labels and stuff. People nowadays want to label themselves before they're out of kindergarten. Its the age old, "what job would you like to have". Everyone has ideas but I never thought someone in school should be making life decisions like that, half of the kids in class would probably die or become junkies anyways. But, be what you want to be - but dont get surprised when the process of fate takes you the opposite direction.
That being said I'm sort of ambiguous by nature. But im not interested in taking a stand because it doesnt matter.
This was a great video! As a baby-gay, I almost fell deep into the respectability-trap, so glad I got over it. As queer people we still often begin our life denying parts or all of our identities, why should be then turn around and impose that horrible state on anyone else, especially our queer siblings?!
It happens to a lot of people! And to me it's super understandable, they have internalized a lot of self-hatred and are processing it. I try to have a lot of patience and grace for young queer people who fall into this. It's sometimes difficult. I'm glad you were able to overcome it!
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash exactly, i understand the impulse, and by no means got past it by myself. It's just horrifying irony :(
Yessss, I completely agree that it needs to be reclaimed! I remember when I was young, I never swore at all on purpose; I was too bashful to say "sex" out loud, cause I was told not to say "sexy" as a kid, so when it came time to talk about it in class, I tried to say "gender" to refer to sexual intercourse, kehehe! Back then, I'd have said "there's no reason to swear, there are other, more creative ways to describe things."
LGBTQ, and its derivatives, are not only unwieldy, but it keeps updating when I'm not looking! Like, I didn't even realize there's an "A2" at the end now, making the umbrella term to describe us a whopping 10 syllables of alphabet soup. At this point, queer is easier to say, easier to type, AND easier to remember, and it forces people to see us all as a community while taking away any power that term has to be used against us.
Nowadays, I swear like a sailor AND describe things in creative and fun ways! Words carry weight, but they don't have a mind of their own. I gained a special brand of confidence when I grew up and allowed myself to cuss up a storm, no longer limiting my f bombs to the warzone of my mind. I say we should feel free to reclaim slurs used against us, ... - --- .--.
im queer.... AND IM A WIIIIIITCH!!!!!!
nice jacket
Thank you lol
I think having such a nick on youtube is not the best, considering youtube is literally 1984 and you can't say anything, let alone "hey [your nick]".
Wait can you not say Trash? I did have that problem on certain apps that wouldn't let me use it as my name.
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash I do not trust UA-cam not to delete my comment. I had comments deleted for less.
I personally love the term "queer", and some of it is because of what it used to mean. I'm neurodivergent, gay, ace, a trans demiboy, demi-romantic and a femboy, and if society thinks I'm "strange" or "odd", the hell yeah, I'll be queer until the end of time, and be proud to be a weirdo :3
I fully support the weirdo community!
Q🙋🏻♀️
I don't like it when people call me that word. I won't use it, because that word reminds me of traumatic events. I prefer MOGAI, since it's easier to say than LGBTQIA2S+.
I like MOGAI, I think it's a very good term. But it never really fully caught on even among the community. To me that makes it sort of difficult to use it when discussing community-wide issues as most people don't really even know what it is. Terminology is always changing and updating in the community so I think MOGAI could catch on eventually, that would be cool.
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash unrelated, but it would be cool if your channel blew up! More people need to hear what you have to say. I make UA-cam videos about being trans, nonbinary, and black, but since I'm a teeny tiny fish in a large ocean, my channel barely gets any attention. I hope we both blow up, and people hear what we have to say.
@@SkyeID Oh wow, thank you! I hope so too, though my content isn't monetizable so I doubt it will! I hope yours gets traction too!
@@Trash-Garbage-Trash I'm too small to be monetized. All I can hope for is to get a shout-out from one of the larger creators I chit-chat with.
"Gay" is essentialist; I am not Gay. I am "Queer" by choice.
also you give Elliot Page vibes you sound just like him
That's so funny! Before he transitioned I used to get told I looked like him and now I'm getting it again! I always thought it was just that we were both really short but you can't see that in this video lol
Great video. I really enjoyed it, and learned a lot. Thanks!
Thank you!
You didn't learn anything you just got brainwashed by her.
I'm queer as hell, but personally I don't really like the LGBTQIAA2+ acronym you used. In San Francisco earlier this year someone told me that they use 2SLGBTQIA+ (two spirit, lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer, intersex, ace) as the acronym for the community and I've been using that ever since. I find it easier to write/remember and I like that it emphasizes the validity of two spirit people by placing '2S' at the beginning of the acronym.
I don't mind changing the acronym to the new one, the reasoning makes sense to me. I do think making the switch community-wide might be difficult. I'll consider switching up my language. I'll have to look into this! Thank you!
It's ours now. The word is ours. Take off running with it.
Don't use it if you don't like it, though. Just... More in general.
no, queer is a political orientation and not and identity. So it means actually nothing. This is according to the first definition which you can read in Saint Foucault.
Ah. The arrogance of people shoving their linguistic preferences down other people's throats. Some folks don't like the word. Leave them the f alone.
Did you even watch the video though?
In my community, 'queer' is most popular among women who are entirely compatible with heterosexuality. Essentially, we're talking about soccer moms. No shade on these women, but _actual homosexuals_ aren't being assimilationist when we don't see a commonality with them. A minority shouldn't have to accommodate the majority with how we describe ourselves, even if the majority wants so bad to experience the marginalization we had to contend with.
My problem with the word isn't because it may mean 'weird' but because STRAIGHT people absolutely love using it for themselves.
This seems like biphobia with extra steps.
plenty of queer straight women. how dare you people weaponise words that belong to all of us.
What about people who have been victims of hate crimes where queer was yelled at them? I would say that would be a good reason not to like a word.
Yeah, as I say in the video, if someone doesn't want to be called queer, don't call them queer. But they can't then police other people's language for their own identities.