You can't communicate with an arrested, dehumanized - shamed to the core, abandoned child on an adult level. They aren't capable of it. Why would they be? They're disconnected from their true, authentic underdeveloped, shamed selves in order to survive. They have completely lost Trust in Humanity and are Not Available. Stuck in Narcissism from Trauma and live hyper-vigilantly in survival mode and understandably so, because of Abandonment. It's means Death to them. Tragic.
My mother caught my father holding two cell phones…one given by his affair accomplice and the other his phone. He stood there and told her he did not have two cell phones in his hands. Narcissists are all predators and not human.
Thank you lisa. You're videos helped saved my life. Without this knowledge I would still be stuck in these cycles from childhood.. I can't thank you enough for everything you do.
Trying to reach the person on the narcissistic spectrum, while you're doing your own thing wherever you are on the narcissistic spectrum (or not) -- trying to "reach" that person in the way you want to, when it conflicts with that narcissist, is absurd. In fact, your own desire to do that is what's holding you back. Desire is part of life obviously. It's beautiful. But desire is also a trap. And the trap that the codependent gets into with the narcissist is a perfect example of that.
patrickbinford590 • Truth! Now to get it from my mind to my heart... my heart has been deceived by the false programming of my childhood... I'm the scapegoat
@@SideB1984 Yes... hard to change those deeply ingrained patterns, I pray about it and started with setting strong boundaries... I had so many Narcissists attached to my spirit, I have gone no contact with them all... including my only 2 daughters. This was Not easy but it's done. I'm done with the Abuse... it has been messy at times, I haven't always done it the way I wanted to... but that's they way it is when your learning to set boundaries with evil. Some people wouldn't listen so I did use the "Get the F out" line... 🤪
@@ComeOut.BeYeSeparate. proud of you! I broke no contact during a medical crisis, which only served to remind me how unavailable they always have been. Now I know I can’t go back to people who can’t repent or change.
Actually a narcisst has no ego, because hes in constant flux of proving how he's better than others, he develops no individuated ego thats why he's constantly trying to prove he's better than others when deep down he's nothing, a nobody and that's what makes him attack people who dare to be themselves, even not perfect.
YES!! Mitigating the narcissism in self is key!! Aslo the fact of acceptance That people pleasing behaviours is narcissistic too! This is the best, and hold every one of us accountable!! This resonates so well with me where I’m at in my journey. I’m just realizing, since realizing my own codependency and working to change that, this video helps give me a renewed direction. From under the veil to a path of enlightenment!! Love it. Thanks Lisa ❤
I recently have gone no contact with my narcissistic adult daughter. She has managed to hurt the family in an unimaginable way. I saw the signs since she was little (now in her 40's), but unwilling to acknowledge it because that's what a mother does, right? She was just like her father (who I divorced). Every time I visited with my daughter I felt as though I had just visited with her father. Yet I tried to keep the peace between her and others in the family for years. After enough of her toxic behavior and going no contact I wanted to get the lesson so I wouldn't feel pity and bring her back into my life. Then, I realized why I couldn't get the lesson, it was because I cant understand her, her father, and all the other narcissists I've encountered throughout my life. How do you comprehend the incomprehensible? All I know to do, to get rid of them, is to do the opposite of what they are expecting. For instance, I have taken my daughter to court over what she has done. Bet she didn't see that one coming. Another example, when I first divorced the narc husband, my two kids were in their twenties. But I continued to speak with their father at gatherings (for my kids sake) even though he was hurtful when I did. Finally at my son's wedding rehearsal (where I knew my kids attention would be on more important things, other than how well their mother and father got along) I ignored him and his wife completely. And I realized how nice it was to not give them the time of day. Then at the wedding, wanting to resume this feeling of freedom around them, I continued to ignore them. They started to talk to me. I answered them with one word answers and continued to go off and talk to others. This was very unlike me. By changing it up however I finally realized trying to keep the peace is too exhausting. And when I let go and stopped being the do-gooder I felt free! The next time we were at a gathering (6 weeks later) the ex came up to me and my husband talking about this and that. We half listened and half looked away or talked to others while interrupting him. I plan on continuing this until the end because of how great I feel when I do this. I know I will never be in my daughter's presence again, but, if for some unfortunate reason I am, I will do the same and completely ignore her. Grasping that by giving her my time, energy or attention I am stealing from me and I will never do that again. Living a well-lived life is the perfect revenge. And that is where I choose to place my focus, time and attention- on me and being happy. As long as they are out of my life, I am happy.
Many channel talk about NPD, but this single vdo giving so much information and root cause and how to deal with NPD PPL. Thanks a lot . Love from India ❤, God bless you and help you always in your consciousness path( We call it Nirvana in India).
So much information, a lot resonated, but I will definitely need to watch a few times more to really absorb. Thanks for you help during the journey of recovery.
When I asked our contractor how he would like to discuss deficiencies from the reno. He said he was ok with a discussion. After 2 minutes he turned my questions to "I was rushed..you rushed me...why don't you tell me all the great job I did" He since has blamed me and that he stands by his work. Now seeking legal help as I don't want to pay off his bill as I need to items fixed.
My wife had the loving family to loved and praised unconditionally.. it made her a narcissist. Now she expects to treat everyone badly and they will praise her. She surrounds herself with flying monkeys.. and her parents live with us.. it's a never ending supply
Thank you very much for this video and was reminded of my dislike of people telling me things that I already know, which relates to their superiority! I still have a few individuals like this in my life, who seem to get a high from infoming me about news, or something else, even when I've conveyed that I've aleady heard it. They usually totally ignore me though, then keep on talking, which is a complete waste of their time. 🤦♀️
This video could not have come at a better time! I just had a situation with a friend who resisted looking at the darkness of their mind and became angry with me for speaking of these topics with them. Thank you🙏.
I'm sorry if I've shared TMI in some of my comments. I guess I still have that need to be seen and heard and truly understood by someone.. I mean, what's so wrong with that?! But, everytime I watch one of your videos, you always say what I needed to hear. This is all so very hard to change. And I sometimes think, how can I possibly change all of this stuff..in my subconscious? But, I'm listening to you intently. I'm taking it in. This mother wound I have, it's heavy Lisa❤
Great video Lisa! Needed this today bc all the flying bananas that are getting thrown my way and it’s increasing. I’ve got to pick up my daughter today and I will not react to his behavior, there’s no getting through to him about healthy communication,manipulation and name calling. It has been on going for 10’years and that’s what we call insanity, trying and getting the same result over and over. I’m breaking the cycle with the help of your videos and therapy to keep growing, the programming and experience above the veil. Much love ❤and light to you and everyone in this community.
Hi Lisa. Can you create different booklets that are a collection of the picture slides you post? They are very informative and enjoyable to look at. It would be nice to have them in color compiled in a book form with chapters titles.
Hi Lisa! If someone hurt you (smearing you, devaluing you, etc.) how would you embrace duality while holding this person accountable? I have hard a narc in my life throw this concept at me and call me “abusive” because I call out their inconsistencies, ask for honesty behind their actions, ask for changed behavior and won’t let them have access to me without it. Do we just walk away?
Personally/ I can't have people who harm me in my life!! Period. whether they mean to or not . wasted Years of my life expecting a fantasy to become real ...completely ignoring my feelings/ allowing myself to remain in confusion/ irritation/betrayal/ignoration etc Treat yourself like a precious treasure ❤ We Are affected by our environments inc people ! Like Lisa says/ Boundaries/ knowing how You Feel
Sometimes if we live in the the light we have to lose the ones we were trying to love which were totally narcissists, "the dark demons!" OR maybe even those who are late on us with oblifations value other people more that are bad for them, etc. Friends that date married men and you don't agree with it. So many things for empaths and co dependent people to work on . sigh.
It sounds like we should be able to be around them (abusive parents) without any feeling about it or trauma response? I feel like this scenario would lead to default to fawning, smiling, just pushing through, and then feeling bad I didn’t transcend. Normally I’m NC but there’s family events coming up. Should I be able to go and be around this family system, just let them see me as scapegoat and move along? (As usual) sorry, I’ve reached a glitch in the matrix 😅
IMO. you have two clear choices: NC (peace) or contact (conflict). The conflict will either be silent, you being the scapegoat and internalizing the conflict, or hot where you get into a verbal altercation that you can't win with the narc. You have to decide if the benefit of the family event will be greater than the continual abuse (which will trigger memories of past abuse) of being around the narc.
I disagree partly, I believe in difference - if someone does not understand me and my journey it is up to them- to protected by god to even worry about narcissist people - tried to help in the past as I thought it was a witch attack on one of my family members but i realised that other people see my value but the mentioned family member does not
First minutes? You told "🦍". I heard, "grown up" 😂 Well, mentally they are never grown up. Raging, putting off things they hate,for joyful stuff, even when it's a must to do..."modes", from child age (Schema therapy)
Hi, I remember when your hair covered one of your eyes. You reminded me of the 80’s rock stars . Anyway, good to see your face with the same brunette Charlies Angel hair that is so sexy.
True facts. You’ll never get to them, their ego is always going to be in the way regardless of what you say to them.
Their ego and don’t forget the massive entitlement 😂
@@jenniferburton7044 without a doubt, they’ll laugh at you, mock you, etc.
If you can't prove it to them, it never happened.
“Abandon all sincere communication when communicating with the insincere.” RG
RG?
You can't communicate with an arrested, dehumanized - shamed to the core, abandoned child on an adult level. They aren't capable of it. Why would they be? They're disconnected from their true, authentic underdeveloped, shamed selves in order to survive. They have completely lost Trust in Humanity and are Not Available. Stuck in Narcissism from Trauma and live hyper-vigilantly in survival mode and understandably so, because of Abandonment. It's means Death to them. Tragic.
My mother caught my father holding two cell phones…one given by his affair accomplice and the other his phone. He stood there and told her he did not have two cell phones in his hands. Narcissists are all predators and not human.
Predators for sure
They do nothing but lie
They overcompensate- its obvious. its sad and pathetic- your job isnt to save them- you cant even if you wanted to
Ugh, that is so true - it IS just like Groundhog Day!
Thank you lisa. You're videos helped saved my life. Without this knowledge I would still be stuck in these cycles from childhood.. I can't thank you enough for everything you do.
Same.
Trying to reach the person on the narcissistic spectrum, while you're doing your own thing wherever you are on the narcissistic spectrum (or not) -- trying to "reach" that person in the way you want to, when it conflicts with that narcissist, is absurd. In fact, your own desire to do that is what's holding you back. Desire is part of life obviously. It's beautiful. But desire is also a trap. And the trap that the codependent gets into with the narcissist is a perfect example of that.
patrickbinford590 •
Truth! Now to get it from my mind to my heart... my heart has been deceived by the false programming of my childhood... I'm the scapegoat
@@ComeOut.BeYeSeparate.and I keep repeating the pattern and relearning the lesson. That programming is strong!
@@SideB1984
Yes... hard to change those deeply ingrained patterns, I pray about it and started with setting strong boundaries... I had so many Narcissists attached to my spirit, I have gone no contact with them all... including my only 2 daughters. This was Not easy but it's done. I'm done with the Abuse... it has been messy at times, I haven't always done it the way I wanted to... but that's they way it is when your learning to set boundaries with evil. Some people wouldn't listen so I did use the "Get the F out" line... 🤪
@@ComeOut.BeYeSeparate. proud of you! I broke no contact during a medical crisis, which only served to remind me how unavailable they always have been. Now I know I can’t go back to people who can’t repent or change.
Actually a narcisst has no ego, because hes in constant flux of proving how he's better than others, he develops no individuated ego thats why he's constantly trying to prove he's better than others when deep down he's nothing, a nobody and that's what makes him attack people who dare to be themselves, even not perfect.
YES!! Mitigating the narcissism in self is key!! Aslo the fact of acceptance
That people pleasing behaviours is narcissistic too! This is the best, and hold every one of us accountable!! This resonates so well with me where I’m at in my journey. I’m just realizing, since realizing my own codependency and working to change that, this video helps give me a renewed direction. From under the veil to a path of enlightenment!! Love it. Thanks Lisa ❤
I recently have gone no contact with my narcissistic adult daughter. She has managed to hurt the family in an unimaginable way. I saw the signs since she was little (now in her 40's), but unwilling to acknowledge it because that's what a mother does, right? She was just like her father (who I divorced). Every time I visited with my daughter I felt as though I had just visited with her father. Yet I tried to keep the peace between her and others in the family for years. After enough of her toxic behavior and going no contact I wanted to get the lesson so I wouldn't feel pity and bring her back into my life. Then, I realized why I couldn't get the lesson, it was because I cant understand her, her father, and all the other narcissists I've encountered throughout my life. How do you comprehend the incomprehensible? All I know to do, to get rid of them, is to do the opposite of what they are expecting. For instance, I have taken my daughter to court over what she has done. Bet she didn't see that one coming. Another example, when I first divorced the narc husband, my two kids were in their twenties. But I continued to speak with their father at gatherings (for my kids sake) even though he was hurtful when I did. Finally at my son's wedding rehearsal (where I knew my kids attention would be on more important things, other than how well their mother and father got along) I ignored him and his wife completely. And I realized how nice it was to not give them the time of day. Then at the wedding, wanting to resume this feeling of freedom around them, I continued to ignore them. They started to talk to me. I answered them with one word answers and continued to go off and talk to others. This was very unlike me. By changing it up however I finally realized trying to keep the peace is too exhausting. And when I let go and stopped being the do-gooder I felt free! The next time we were at a gathering (6 weeks later) the ex came up to me and my husband talking about this and that. We half listened and half looked away or talked to others while interrupting him. I plan on continuing this until the end because of how great I feel when I do this. I know I will never be in my daughter's presence again, but, if for some unfortunate reason I am, I will do the same and completely ignore her. Grasping that by giving her my time, energy or attention I am stealing from me and I will never do that again. Living a well-lived life is the perfect revenge. And that is where I choose to place my focus, time and attention- on me and being happy. As long as they are out of my life, I am happy.
hard experience gather by life :(
Many channel talk about NPD, but this single vdo giving so much information and root cause and how to deal with NPD PPL. Thanks a lot . Love from India ❤, God bless you and help you always in your consciousness path( We call it Nirvana in India).
You've described my family situation to a T - it's almost like you were watching us.
Releasing attachments: very Buddhist. 🧘
Lisa, thanks for talking about the abyss of non-duality, and all other Eastern ideas, including prana.
So much information, a lot resonated, but I will definitely need to watch a few times more to really absorb. Thanks for you help during the journey of recovery.
You know what I heard a lot as a kid? “Who told you to think!”
Thank you for a brilliant explanation pless keep up your wonderfull work wish you a beautifull day🙏🏼
When I asked our contractor how he would like to discuss deficiencies from the reno. He said he was ok with a discussion. After 2 minutes he turned my questions to "I was rushed..you rushed me...why don't you tell me all the great job I did" He since has blamed me and that he stands by his work. Now seeking legal help as I don't want to pay off his bill as I need to items fixed.
Thank you for this one 🙏 As a medium and healer breaking out from a toxic spiritual community. This could be a video for everyone to listen too ❤
My wife had the loving family to loved and praised unconditionally.. it made her a narcissist. Now she expects to treat everyone badly and they will praise her. She surrounds herself with flying monkeys.. and her parents live with us.. it's a never ending supply
You are a beautiful person, thank you so much for your invaluable help and using your experience to support me in my healing journey.
Thank you lisa, i havd two of your books snd and they are hrlping me. I always think of the Serinity prayer when things get hard.😊🙏
I SUPER-LOVE "SHUTTY-SHUTTY". It's just awesome - simple, to the point & does the job of keeping (internal) peace!
Thank you very much for this video and was reminded of my dislike of people telling me things that I already know, which relates to their superiority!
I still have a few individuals like this in my life, who seem to get a high from infoming me about news, or something else, even when I've conveyed that I've aleady heard it.
They usually totally ignore me though, then keep on talking, which is a complete waste of their time. 🤦♀️
This video could not have come at a better time! I just had a situation with a friend who resisted looking at the darkness of their mind and became angry with me for speaking of these topics with them. Thank you🙏.
So powerful. Very much still on the journey but your wisdom resonates so much! ❤
I'm sorry if I've shared TMI in some of my comments.
I guess I still have that need to be seen and heard and truly understood by someone..
I mean, what's so wrong with that?!
But, everytime I watch one of your videos, you always say what I needed to hear.
This is all so very hard to change.
And I sometimes think, how can I possibly change all of this stuff..in my subconscious?
But, I'm listening to you intently.
I'm taking it in.
This mother wound I have, it's heavy Lisa❤
Great video Lisa! Needed this today bc all the flying bananas that are getting thrown my way and it’s increasing. I’ve got to pick up my daughter today and I will not react to his behavior, there’s no getting through to him about healthy communication,manipulation and name calling. It has been on going for 10’years and that’s what we call insanity, trying and getting the same result over and over. I’m breaking the cycle with the help of your videos and therapy to keep growing, the programming and experience above the veil.
Much love ❤and light to you and everyone in this community.
Thank you very much for the very enlightening lecture, Lisa. It does match my own experiences in every possible way. Keep on following the light!
You’re so beautiful. I pray for your healing and deliverance in Jesus name❤
Amen
I stopped trying to get through to the marcissist. It was impossible. Now I am at peace.
Thank you for your help! 😊Kisses 😊❤
Hi Lisa. Can you create different booklets that are a collection of the picture slides you post? They are very informative and enjoyable to look at. It would be nice to have them in color compiled in a book form with chapters titles.
Good 💡❤
This is beautiful Lisa.❤
You are Love, Lisa.
This is their repetition of the patterns.
Amazing discussion, thank you so much for this beautiful insight ❤
I was wondering if most people under the vail feel shame and project their bad on to other people?
COMPLETELY sad yet true and very hard to accept
Thank you for sharing. Much truth. God bless you 🙏🙂🦋
You are so welcome
Hi Lisa! If someone hurt you (smearing you, devaluing you, etc.) how would you embrace duality while holding this person accountable? I have hard a narc in my life throw this concept at me and call me “abusive” because I call out their inconsistencies, ask for honesty behind their actions, ask for changed behavior and won’t let them have access to me without it. Do we just walk away?
What We should do but I'm finding it hard too
Personally/ I can't have people who harm me in my life!!
Period.
whether they mean to or not . wasted Years of my life expecting a fantasy to become real ...completely ignoring my feelings/ allowing myself to remain in confusion/ irritation/betrayal/ignoration etc
Treat yourself like a precious treasure ❤
We Are affected by our environments inc people !
Like Lisa says/ Boundaries/ knowing how You Feel
I don’t think I know anyone who is not a narcissist
Duh, yeah. I need to hear this again abd again, lol.
and
Sometimes if we live in the the light we have to lose the ones we were trying to love which were totally narcissists, "the dark demons!" OR maybe even those who are late on us with oblifations value other people more that are bad for them, etc. Friends that date married men and you don't agree with it. So many things for empaths and co dependent people to work on . sigh.
Anything I do, is not for narcissists.
I don't hear the narcissists.
It sounds like we should be able to be around them (abusive parents) without any feeling about it or trauma response? I feel like this scenario would lead to default to fawning, smiling, just pushing through, and then feeling bad I didn’t transcend. Normally I’m NC but there’s family events coming up. Should I be able to go and be around this family system, just let them see me as scapegoat and move along? (As usual) sorry, I’ve reached a glitch in the matrix 😅
IMO. you have two clear choices: NC (peace) or contact (conflict). The conflict will either be silent, you being the scapegoat and internalizing the conflict, or hot where you get into a verbal altercation that you can't win with the narc. You have to decide if the benefit of the family event will be greater than the continual abuse (which will trigger memories of past abuse) of being around the narc.
I disagree partly, I believe in difference - if someone does not understand me and my journey it is up to them- to protected by god to even worry about narcissist people - tried to help in the past as I thought it was a witch attack on one of my family members but i realised that other people see my value but the mentioned family member does not
parent partner etc...trap
First minutes? You told "🦍". I heard, "grown up" 😂 Well, mentally they are never grown up. Raging, putting off things they hate,for joyful stuff, even when it's a must to do..."modes", from child age (Schema therapy)
A guerilla. Yes!!!
🌸
😂so real
Hi, I remember when your hair covered one of your eyes. You reminded me of the 80’s rock stars . Anyway, good to see your face with the same brunette Charlies Angel hair that is so sexy.
FACT!!!!💡💡💡-Xclusyph Icon
If Trump is your father, you are fd 😅