Wheelchair user here: please don't bend down. It's uncomfortable, awkward, and condescending. When you do stand, though, stand a comfortable distance away so I, the wheelchair user, can hold my neck in a comfortable position rather than craning it. Don't push me. I only trust very few of my closest friends and family to push me, and random people that I meet are not one of them. If I ask, feel free, but otherwise, keep your hands off the handles. Understand if the wheelchair user gets up and walks to something. Ambulatory wheelchair users are totally valid and are a thing! DOn't ask someone what happened. It's kind of a deeply personal thing that it's hard to explain to anyone on the street. If you become friends they'll often tell you! If you are pushing someone, tell them when/if you let go. I can't feel the handles so I don't know whether or not you're still pushing.
Omg I cannot believe how important this channel has become to me. I am not a system but since when I started to watch your videos I just feel like it is the most usual thing for me. This has been my favorite channel for a while now, and it’s just so comfortable to see all of you talking about your lives. Kisses from Brazil, wish I had the opportunity to meet you someday \0/ you’re all so awesome
If you don't introduce yourself, is it ok to ask who's out? Also I totally get needing reassurance that you're welcome. I'm not multiple but I struggle with feeling unwelcome and insecure.
If I remember correctly from another's youTube video, it is okay to ask whom you are talking to. Something like, "Hi. Who am I speaking to?" If I'm wrong Entropy System, please let me know and I'll delete this. Thanks.
It's totally okay to ask who's out with us, but only in specific ways, like most of us don't appreciate the "who am i speaking to right now" since its a bit confronting but we super duper appreciate "oh hey, who's out today? oh? how are you? whatve you been up to? etc."
This is all very useful, thanks. What do you think would be some of the best ways to ask who's out? I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable or offended, but I would like to know who I'm talking to so I can actually treat them as the individual people they are.
This was great. I 100% am down with all of these points. For our system, I would also say that letting us introduce ourselves individually is important to us. We like when people are interested in the whole system, but we also feel kind of pressured to perform? That doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it feels like they're less interested in us as individuals and more like we just have this weird thing we do, like a party trick. It's probably just the 'abuse brain', as Kim Kim called it, but it's how we feel.
Ditto! It kinda depends on the situation for us, and various other stuff... A lot of our parts aren't as distinct and a lot of us have the birth name, just different ages and stuff... But there's parts who very much want to let you know who they are, like Emily (if it's a time she feels safe to do so, vs pretending to be the birth name and current age), she loves being able to be "seen"... Really though, I think it comes down to everyone, DID or not, wants to be accepted and seen/heard and wanted and respected. So I know we all do appriciate when someone can notice a switch and roll with it, even if they don't ask who we are, just having it clear in the interaction that whoever is out is welcome, and we like when people notice and don't mind that we've switched to a little etc... I'm not explaining well, sorry... But I have similar experience :) I also really like the term "abuse brain"... Totally relate to that!
Some of the guys in our system get so annoyed when people force them to introduce themselves... They're really private and prefer pretending to be our host. It's not even a matter of trust but more a matter of them not liking to be known... Than there's other alters who will announce their presence like the fing Queen of England just walked in xD
I can understand that, since I have a few close friends with DID. One of my friends' alters has a really long name and likes to say his full name a lot; He's a Prince basically, so he literally always announces himself like that, it's fricking hilarious, he's so adorable. I love their system, they're my best friends. I'm so glad this channel exists so I can learn more about DID and this video just made my day lol. I never forced them to introduce themselves, I dunno why someone would.. i mean, I don't know your circumstances, but ya know... You seem nice, um... Have a good day...(lol, idk where I was going with this😂)
@@carrotandpeas Our girlfriend forces us to introduce ourselves because you know.. Don't want to be kissing a stranger or someone who she isn't dating. Also introducing ourselves helps people learn how to tell us apart... Just, some of us hate doin it xD you have a nice day too. You're so sweet and adorable :3
Haha, we can kinda relate! In our system some sprinkles feel that referring to them by their sprinkle names feels extremely intimate, so they share a subsystem name. We do something similar on another scale too, expecting every one who's not particularly close to us to just address our human as if we were a singlet and not worry about addressing specific sprinkles. We figure this is prolly a common natural tendency since it supports covertness about plurality, which is often adaptive in a singlet-normative society. We could be dang near invisible except to our friends, if not for our inability to handle the emotional burdens of being in the closet and cognitive burdens of constant, full-time masking behaviour.
I know ppl at some point would ask you to switch right in front of them just so they can see what it look like.. I know that is a big DO NOT..... There's a female system somewhere on youtube.. She said she don't switch in front of ppl... She said that she hates it when ppl ask her to do that cause it's not that simple for her and that if she does switch in front someone... She gotta be extremely close to you and really really trust you..... If you feel that same way.. That should be number 8... Some ppl just wanna see shit to see shit and don't care how other ppl feel...
We absolutely hate switching in front of people. We avoid it even with Wyn’s husband. I totally agree that it is not ok for someone to ask a system to switch just so they can see. -Kim Kim
@@TheEntropySystem Yeah cause to me that's like somebody askin to see that six finger you have.. Or if a person stutter to say a certain word that they have a hard time gettin out all just to satisfy their fascination of it... Plus off the topic... I watch this soap opera called Days Of Our Lives... They had a storyline about a girl that had DID... They kept sayin when talkin about what her alters did that she was "sick".... I'm thinkin and I'm like..... Nooooo!!! This is incorrect... She not sick... For most she has a condition... But she is far from sick... Am I right?
Different systems can have different boundaries, so maybe the best general policy might be to just ask what those boundaries are. In our system, for example, sometimes switches are involuntary and feel a lot like how nudity feels, and many of us are also shy about being pointed out, so we prefer to let the sprinkle taking the wheel decide how to acknowledge the event; if she wants to announce herself she'll say "hi," or smile and wave, or give a friendly bark or something, but she instead might prefer to avoid any extra attention or mention.
@@rainbowsprinkles4234 If I ever met someone multiple in person.. I could never be like... "So switch for me.. Let me see what's that like"... I get the feelin its like askin yall.. "Let me see what underwear you wear". Just the same way I wouldn't want someone to ask or keep askin me to perform somethin I seen do or say... It would be my comfort level decision to do so.. To request somethin like that is like forcin someone to entertain... Nobody wants to do that unless they feel like it.
I agree very much with the "ask questions because we know you have them and it helps us all feel more comfortable interacting." Questions from people who care aren't offensive, in my opinion. Awkward? Sometimes. But they are asking because they care, and I like knowing that. If you're unsure about something, just ask! If you wanna help but don't know how, ask! What accommodations do I need? Ask me! It's like with anyone else - you would ask their likes, dislikes, preferences, allergies if you're making food for them, so in the same way, you can ask about illness and disability too - especially when someone has told you you're welcome to ask if you have questions. The worst that can happen is "I'd rather not say" as an answer, and that's okay too.
I’m very new to this whole DID thing, and I’m only slowly realizing how much of it really applies to me but when you mentioned that Daniel does not like drawing attention to himself, my own headmate had a rather explosive response because he too does not like the attention. ‘EXACTLY!’ It was very sudden and loud and my whole body moved but he was not in control at the time so it shook me for a moment and then I laughed cuz it was just very sweet. I’ve been learning a lot about me and my headmate from these videos so thank you!
As someone who has very bad anxiety plus being an empath I wish that my friends understood that sometimes it gets too overwhelming being with them for so long and I need a break for myself. It's not that I don't enjoy being in their presence it's that energies can be very draining and sometimes I just needed time by myself to regroup and restore my own energy.
I can relate. Me being me, I like and cherish my alone-time, and a lot of people I know including my close family dont understand that. Similar to you, its not that I don't care; It's just that I need my alone time. And sometimes I stay up all night because I want that alone time to last longer, because sometimes that that's the only time I get. So, um.... Yeah, I can relate...
Carissa Smith same here, Friends are great but socializing is hard with anxiety and empath-ing so I’ll let people know when I start getting to know them that I’ll sometimes need to leave or give myself time. I usually leave being an empath out of it bc anxiety but yea
I was going to say this as well. I’m not a system, but I have very bad anxiety and I hate being told, “it’s all in your head” or “just relax, there’s nothing to be anxious about”.
Empath here aswell so i completly understand and relate with you i too have Anxiety so need my very much needed charge up time its frustrating when loved ones dont understand isnt it
I feel like this mostly boils down to (and I’m oversimplifying here, I know) ask questions and don’t be a jerk. In which case, got it. 👍🏼 EDIT: I have multiple invisible illnesses and my biggest thing is just please ask ME what I WANT. A lot of people think they know how to help when I’m having trouble and the truth is what helps me is never consistent. Sometimes I want you to hold me and sometimes I want no one touching me whatsoever. Sometimes I can work through the pain and sometimes I need to go home. I think asking questions should just be a general rule because you never know what someone needs because you aren’t in their body or their head. I don’t know what will help my mom if she’s nauseous and she doesn’t know what will help me when I’m nauseous. We have to communicate that to each other.
Your makeup is amazing, Kim Kim.I agree with all of these things. I hate the stepping on eggshells feeling so why would we want anyone else feeling that way when it comes to us? We'd much rather you ask questions and say things without worrying that we will be offended cause we will let you know if you have. I also so appreciate when people welcome me when I come out, because I feel like a burden a lot of the time so that passive welcome plays tricks on me too. -Dani
First off - Makeup on point and I love that sweater. On subject stuff, so many good points here!! I could write for ages on all of the super good stuff you hit on. My brain is cycling through so many things, but I don't want to comment a huge book of thoughts and feelings. "Abuse brain" is such a legit, real point and perspective. Basic human decency really sums things up well, I think.
Brilliant explanation Kim Kim. I feel prepared if I ever meet a system. I have ME/CFS and I feel people who don’t understand my condition walk on eggshells around me. Like you ,all I want is for people to be respectful and caring. Luckily those I love fully understand. I am really enjoying learning about people with DID! Love to you and your head mates.
I just recently found out my partner of 5years has DID, I actually noticed before him and talked him into seeing a specialist because I didn’t feel like it was my right or that I was qualified to tell him something like that. The one thing that he really appreciated that I did was the amount of research I did to learn everything I could to not only understand but to be more helpful and supportive. That is also because I’m on the spectrum and when I learn something new I feel like I have to know everything about it 😅 but I felt like it was important to know if I wanted to be a good supportive partner. Which is why I appreciate your videos so much. He has a hard time communicating right now because it’s kinda overwhelming for him so having some of my questions answered somewhere else is really helpful. You were part of the reason I figured it out because he has a female alter and would wear girls cloths and I never thought anything about it because it’s not something I thought was a big deal, and then I saw your video about how you really learned how you had DID and everything clicked together and I was able to meet Daisy 🤍
Hi Kim Kim, and the rest of the Entropy System. This was a great video. We have only a handful of people who actually know about our system, and I agree with every point you made. The only one that we don't actively seek is for people to address us specifically by name, because frankly most of the people (aside from our husband) aren't really sure who is out and most aren't the all that comfortable with knowing how to handle different personalities all in one body. Even with our husband we don't announce who is out all the time and don't expect him to realize someone new has come out, though normally he can tell and will ask who is fronting if he's unsure. Maybe it is just us still trying to feel "normal" by not announcing who's fronting at any given moment, because the ones of us who front frequently and are basically co-hosts feel like it's something that just steps us out of the norm of our day to constantly announce "HI I'm here now!" While I (Jessica) am the main fronter most days, we can switch 4 or 5 times a day sometimes just to get things done, because we all have our strengths and weaknesses for certain things or someone wants to be out to pursue a special interest or they feel like coming out to have a meal or whatever. We've just gotten to a point where when a switch happens we go about whatever tasks were at hand or the reason for the change and just get on with it without making a fuss. Unfortunately for us we also contend with being on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum, which can be the reason for switching out so we have the added social anxieties that go along with it. Anyway, love you all! Your words are of great comfort to so many of us.
Love love LOVE this! So helpful! My Fiance has D.I.D and I'm certainly going to have him watch this. He's not as forthright when speaking about it as some others. Even tho him and I have it setup to what's ok and comfortable for him, it's not that way with others. I'm sure this will help him and help family and friends know what and not what to do! Thanks!
Hi Kim Kim..I think thats really what everyone wants. Any human just wants to be treated with respect and sensitivity to their unique aspects of their personality. Multiple or not. Atleast thats what I personaly as a Bipolar (and not multiple) would ask from others.
Thankfully, not too many people call out Emma's name in our system life. Worst thing is when I only just realise that they're addressing us and I'm like "huh?" but it's also really funny when people are full on screaming up stairs for us - CL
Thank you Kim Kim for another great video! This was really helpful. I'm not in a system myself, but I really relate to the "actively welcoming" part. I often feel insecure about being unwelcome and unwanted somewhere, and that kind of "passive acknowledgement" usually only affirms my fears. Letting me know, as explicitly as possible, that I am welcome and people actually want my company is so important to me and I can't stress enough how much I appreciate it. Unfortunately, not enough people realize that... P.S.: Your eye makeup is fire!
the healthiest thing I've learned is asking the other person if they're up to listening to my worries or if I'm upset and would want some support. It shows that 1) you understand the other person is their own person and they are allowed to say no (place boundaries) 2) emotional support and labour is tiring and does take a certain level of attention and sometimes people might've just had the shittiest day and aren't ready to be available 3) it also gives you confidence.. saying 'hey I'm upset, this is what I need, is this ok with you?' I can't begin to say how much it's helped with the feelings of being a burden, feeling unworthy etc because it reassures yourself when the other person agrees to listen to you if that makes sense? Like you're not stuck wondering if they're only helping you because you tricked them because before even venting they actually tell you yes or no. I also appreciate it whenever someone I care about does this to me ^^ Of course there are times when distressing emotions are completely overwhelming and you can't do this, but in that case it's definitely important to thank the other person after you've calmed down and feel safe ' - ')b
We wanted to add: If you’re a singlet (non-multiple) and you’re watching this video, that’s already a really amazing, kind, and meaningful step in supporting your system friends! When we came out to one of the closest people in our life recently, he told us that he thinks we’re imagining things (even though he himself used to make up different nicknames for different headmates), that he didn’t want to hear about it, and that we should save the info dump for our therapist. Compared to that, walking on eggshells would be a breath of fresh air.
Thanks for the video kim kim! It was really informative about understanding did more, especially you guys! Also i love your makeup today! It looks awesome!
Honestly this list is great. Awesome job on this video Kim Kim! #1 YES! PLEASE ASK QUESTIONS! There are people we know where I literally have to prod them like: ask any questions you have! Please! #2 I wish more people were honest about where they stand with us. Only one of my friends has said that he basically needed time to wrap his head around it and I was cool with that. But other people I know have definitely been walking on eggshells. #3 Don't panic XD lol yeah Don't worry too much about what you say. If something you say is potentially offensive, we'll let you know and we won't be actually be upset unless you're doing it on purpose. (One good example of this is one time someone who was really curious about DID called my headmates "characters" and honestly I just gently corrected them like "hey, they're not exactly characters, they're people like you and me. Most people call them alters or parts or headmates. Don't worry, I'm not upset or anything, there's no way you could've known that lol expecting you to know everything about a disorder you have no experience with would be silly XD") #4 Try to use our names, yup. As a system with new communication, being called by our names is like the best feeling ever. Of course, if you can't tell who's who it's totally okay to ask "who's out right now?" But, accidentally using the wrong name is like accidentally using the wrong pronoun. It's fine, we know you didn't do it on purpose and we get that it can be hard to remember until you get used to it and even after you get used to it. Honestly, even trying really means a lot to us #5 I didn't actually really realize this one before to be honest. We haven't gotten to the point where we tell other people we've switched all that often. I'll keep that in mind. From what I understand you should basically act like a new person just walked into the room. #6 RESPECT BOUNDARIES YES!!! Even after I told my dad that Erika really dislikes strong smells, he still insists that we smell strong smelling things all the time. Even though I tell people all the time that none of us (except Alex) like being touched on the back but they keep doing it anyway! Asdfghjkl #7 Yes, I'm sorry but please be patient! We've been through a lot of shit so sometimes stuff is hard. Sometimes we don't even know what's going on in our own brain tbh -Melon (with Alex co-con probably)
This is very helpful! Thanks for making this, Kim Kim and the Entropy System! I am not a multiple, so it's nice hearing from different systems about what each system prefers etiquette wise. And you're right, Kim Kim, some of it is basic human decency stuff. I hope that - if a system ever introduces themselves to me - I'll be able to make whoever is fronting feel welcome and secure, thanks to videos like these.
Our #1 rule, ask for permission to to touch us. A yes 5 minutes ago is not a yes right now. Because of passive influence (as opposed to full switches), it is hard for others to tell who is out, so for us, don't assume. Ask.
I’m pretty sure they got a yeti mic recently mic’s and be tricky KimKim might have just set it wrong mics can be tricky they’re annoying to set up lol 😂
i'd like people to accepting and understanding about my mental and physical health. sometimes people need time to adjust and that's fine but it really hurts when people refuse to either admit the problem exists or not look beyond it. i'd like people to be understanding of my short coming and treat me as me. treat me as a person and not a problem/dead weight. i'd like it for people to not ask me to do things multiple times and understand that sometimes i CAN'T and am incapable of doing certain tasks and not get upset over it. i'd like everyone with a disability of any kind to be treated like that.
It makes me a bit sad that the backdrop of each of these tips is just to respect you each individually. I guess it's because some people can't see you each as different people since you share a body, but I wish these tips could be more specific and not like "don't treat me like someone else because I am not someone else." (Obviously not your fault for that though!)
If there’s one (1) thing I’d like to share with anybody who would interact with me at work, it’s that ‘please don’t ever send signals down my line during potty time, unless it’s an actual emergency. I do not find that type of dry humor funny at all. Thank you.
It's just the second video of you I watch and I totally agree ! Particularly with the names...... For school and Family, my name is Marie and it's ok, it's the name of our body, the name on our identity card, etc. It's even my google name (because I use gmail to send homework to teacher for exemple). But I currently live in my innerworld as Yokko, leader of our OSDD 1b system, with 9 internal friends I love ^^ And as I'm the main person to front, I prefer to be called Yokko ^^ Also, I love to be questioned on this ! As we're always co-conscious, it makes my alters participate, and it changes a lot their days to be able to speak to an "outsider" (a non-part-of-our-system person ^^) So, as a system, I have some tips too (due to my personnal experiance) : - I can feel like a "we", even if sometimes I use "I" too often. It's an habit when you have to live something in secret... so : - don't panic if you don't know what pronoun to choose. I'm french so it's a bit complicate sometimes, in english, you would say "you", but my french friends sometimes don't know when to use plural..... I/We make mistake my/our selves...... It's not an issue at all ^^ !!! - Don't be mad at some other systems if they don't live things like you, if you are a system too. - Be aware psychology is not the same in different countries. For example, there are so much more studies on systems in the US than in France.... It's important to be aware when you talk to a system online because being able to see a psychologist may be more difficult for some people. (I'm scared to ask for a psychologist, and that he would not even believe systems exist)
Not condesending/condesending voice, and let me be free. Me=both physical AND brain disorder stuff. =anixity for people condesending to me/discriminateing to not let be free,and if i need help=i ask.
My biggest questions if I were to ever meet another system (Someone very close to me is a system, though they never used that word until I discovered the DID community and started discussing it with them) would be "How many of them know me/know about me?" "What do they think of me/How is it best to be around anyone specific?" "What's your inner world like if you have one? Can I draw it?"
Hey my mom recently realized she was a part of the system and I'm having trouble understanding that I mean I know what it is and I know what it means I just don't quite know how to talk to all of her I guess would be the correct answer so I was just wondering if I could get some advice on how to talk to all of my mother cuz I love her and she does not all of her system yet I'm just unsure of how to help
I'd recommend asking her. Find out if different parts want to be called different names, and who can and cannot be called Mom. Ask her to tell you about new parts when she finds out about them, so you can know a bit about them before you meet them.
Not all of the system will necessarily identify as your mom. I am the only one allowed to mother my daughter. The littles know that, until I decide she's ready to know about them they can watch and give me their thoughts, but they can't interact with her. It happens sometimes. All of them live her and know her. I know when she's older they will be overjoyed to talk to her. Ask questions. Don't be surprised if some of them don't feel they're your mom. Take it slowly. Be patient. Remember that it's ok for YOU to have struggles finding out your mom is a system. Find someone to talk to about that if you need to. Take care of yourself so you can be there for your mom and her system. That's my advice.
Hello H2G2 reference... Also it seems like the only people who identify me by my name are the ones who I introduced myself to as James and don't know that's not my legal name. My family still calls me by his name even though they know I'm not him.
I know this video is years old, but it's so helpful. I have a friend who recently let me know they have D.I.D. and learning how to be a good friend and supporter is really important to me. Thank you for all your helpful videos. You all are amazing!
I have 2 questions, not necessarily about this video, but thanks for making it! 1) is there such a thing as privacy in a system, especially for the one fronting? i am thinking of moments of intimacy for example or any other situation where one usually wouldnt like to be watched as maybe a really thorough session of picking your nose ;-) 2) do you have friends who one or more of your system members dislike? If yes how do you deal with that? Or do you know of any of your friends disliking anyone inside the system? I mean... it happens, we cannot like everyone and as of a while ago not everyone in the system didnt like each other (daniel and kit?) So i guess it would be normal for this to be true with outside people too? Thx for the channel! I learn so much and enjoy your stories
I’m not diagnosed with PTSD but I have a lot of symptoms of it such as night terrors and memory loss. (My parents won’t let me get diagnosed, they don’t believe in mental illness or really know about my traumas). As I get older I cannot stand when people touch me, like at all. Other than my best friend who I absolutely trust, I get very stressed when people touch me and often lash out.
This was a really helpful video, Kim Kim! That abuse brain bit was something I haven't really heard of before, so learning about it was definitely a good thing. As for how I'd like people to act with me concidering my anxiety, I'd love it if everyone could know a little bit of basic sign language. My anxiety shows up mainly as anxiety attacks, there's the initial shock that lasts for 1 to 10 minutes and the aftermath that can last from 1 hour to 5. Even after the aftermath it's pretty easy to relapse into an attack. Anxiety works differently for everyone, but with me, I can move my body really well, but my breathing is troubled, I feel like I'm not getting any air in, but it's about normal speed, my heart is going crazy too, I'm crying, and I go mute. +All the chaos and fear that is going on inside my brain. Everything else goes to normal after the initial shock except being mute and the purely mental stuff (mental stuff calms down a lot, but it doesn't go back to normal, it turns from fear and chaos into a calm sadness and loneliness, with a hint of cold self deprivation). Those go on through the aftermath, which can be 5 hours at a time, and it can relapse. I've been mute for 10 hours straight because of relapsing and in that state I'm already feeling really low, so at least being able to communicate that I'd like some food or water, or excusing myself to the bathroom for the teacher, could be great.
I’m sorry you experience that. I hope you have a good support system. From our experience, I can empathize with how awful it is to not be able to communicate and be with people who don’t get that.
@@SoulSystem-ff6jo Yeah, I'm a lot better now. I have friends who I've taught some sign language to and I've healed a lot as I've been in less contact with bad people, so I get these attacks way less. I also found a therapist that works in a way that works for me, she's solution oriented and trauma informed, so that has been helping a lot.
That’s really wonderful. Distance from people who are harming you and a good therapist make all the difference. I’m happy to hear that you’re doing better and that you’ve found supportive friends who can use sign language with you!
I've lost friends from telling them I'm a system. And I'm not mad at them I completely understand it. But, just kind of upsetting because we were good friends.
Frick thank u so much.... I'm struggling really hard to make the people in my life see that this is important and real for me and I'm questioning whether they really suck that bad or if I'm just not describing my experience in a way that they r able to digest ( I tend to overshare)
Question, I am getting set up on a date with a girl that I was told has DID and she herself hasn't disclosed this to me personally. I have been trying to educate myself to be as sensitive and considerate to her in advance, I am curious how I should let her know I know, or wait until she feels I am safe enough to open up about it? I feel sneaky pretending I don't know...not really fair to her :( I don't want her to feel like I only see her for the stigma. This is new to me and it must be really scary for her. How can I support her and her alters? Also if things blossom...where is consent for alters? It's very personal, and communication is key, but I feel nervous about honouring boundaries and consent for all of them and her. Thank you for all the education :)
Omg I was just trying to write out a short message or pamphlet or darn list on a teeshirt to reinforce system wide boundaries. Tyty Everyone irl is sooooo scared to even mess up that we … don’t get to talk irl much. Ty for posting these vids. It’s soooo helpful
Kim Kim I am do I just got diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder it and none of my alters feel comfortable enough to come completely out maybe call conscious at the time but they’re still very uncomfortable even talking with me I am to talk to her therapist and I’m trying to get them to actually talk for another more and trying to get down to interact more outside because I would like them to actually I’ll come out and actually share the body with me and make themselves known but they’re all afraid they won’t even come out with my therapist yet because of the fear and it kind of makes me feel lucky and freaking but I know I’m not
im pretty uncomfortable with hugs but I know Addison doesn't really mind, on the other end of the spectrum i think if someone tried to hug Klaus he'd punch them dfkajshdf
Hi Kim Kim, thanks for this nice Video. 😊 My huge luck is, that my mom and my best friends are really openminded and so kind to everyone of my system. Their reaction was so cute. And they have good and diffrent realationships to my alters. One friend is more close to the littles and the others are more close to the Host and Protectors. 😊
Am I the only one who is curious to find out which person you know has DID, since the odds are there, but noone probably knows/wants to tell me. I hope this doesn't sound disrespecting, because all I want to be is someone who knows and accepts and can be a non-therapeutic support, if wanted.
Hi Kim Kim! Thank you so much for making this list! It was nice to get to see such an informative video. It helps shed a light for those that might not know how to work with a system and it gives me a very good basis to give to anyone that I might not know or be comfortable explaining how to treat my alters.
You did a great job on the video Kim Kim I feel the same way on these points personally I feel like I offend a lot of people because I'm sometimes I'm having what I call for myself a ”moment” people get angry at me a lot because I say crap that I don't even remember 😕
I realized there was more to me in my late 20s, early 30s I began communicating with all of me. I have pushed it away a lot. 2 years ago I was in amazing communication with many inside. Then I really pushed away. I am now 47. Had a recent loss where 2 parts came forward and one was communicating to another, they were 2 I did not recognize, both young and I was pushed back. So now I am alert and I know I need to come to terms with all of us. I have began watching videos and came across the entropy system. I must say... you guys are amazing. We totally relate! I just started watching your videos this weekend and in my opinion you guys are the best and so real to us. I look forward to catching up on the entropy videos as I reconnect with the many faces of Susan. Thank you so MUCH!
Yes! I have to echo all of these wonderful points KimKim brought up! For our system the only other problem we face semi-regularly is having to try and explain to other people that after a switch has occurred that it’s oftentimes rude to immediately request a different alter. I understand sometimes it’s not ok for certain alters to come out during certain times, but loving and accepting each part as they come out is most important in these situations.
hi Entropy System i do have a question to ask can blackouts and hearing audible voices in the headspace indicate its possible im disassosiating im undiagnosed but the more i learn the more its making sense i get warnings a blackout is going to happen i get a minor headache feel like drained tired etc a bit dizzy so need to lay down ive been hearing audible voices while blacked out and while awake i hope you can answer this asap i love you guys your all awesome
are you all the same kind or you are completely different? i mean do you have charakter traids which each of you has? sorry for my english. greets from austria
I will share this with people who we open up to about our system. Kim Kim you have clearly grown so much. You seem so much more confident and eloquent the more videos you make. I'm really proud of how far you have come! love from Mystic Synergy!
One of the things that helps my alters is when people accept us. Also one thing big thing for us is when people dont dissmiss us and tell us "i" am faking it. That is a really bad isdea. The absolute worst thing is to us is when someone really disslikes one personality a lot more than other personalities. We all want to be treated the same.
I have Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD, and autism(asperger's). Like you said with your DID/System interactions with understanding and boundaries, honesty and politely asking questions is something I value so much in others when it comes to understanding how my brain works, and why I may behave differently than others. With my BPD, I do understand why its hard for others to be honest about certain things do to my rapid and mostly unpredictable mood cycling, but I'm less likely to be overly symptomatic if people are honest if I overstepped with them and how I did so (I will genuinely not know most of the time). With my autism and PTSD, I prefer to be asked before being hugged (after panic attacks and flashbacks, I prefer to be asked before being touched at all). I also get different forms of dissociation (to the point I have wondered about osdd1a tbh, but I haven't inquired with a professional about it as of yet), so if I don't remember a certain interaction, it may take a lot of surounding details of the event before I get a vague recollection of it or it may be gone all together. Many of my friends and family are aware of this, and I tend to ask that if I did something to them (I tend to have anger outbursts during amnesia episodes) that they tell me so I can apologize for it. My best friend and mom (at the least) can sometimes tell when I'm in a dissociative eposode like that based on my glazed over eyes and sometimes a pink flushing in my skin. Pretty much everything you have said for you DID system is how I like to have my mental health and trauma history handled. You mentioned physical health at the end too...my family has a plethora of chronic health problems, and I seem to be getting symptoms of the form of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome - hEDS with higher risk of aortic dissection and aneurism. This form has "degenerative contentive tissue disease" so the systems aren't always stagnant like some other forms of EDS - my sister has (hopefully getting tested soon to know for sure), but just try to respect my energy levels and pain as much as possible - trust me, my lack of ability annoyes me just as much lol. Thank you for sharing this video and for asking us to share our own feelings with our own disorders❤
I agree with everything in the video the only thing different for me is time Loss is more common for me and I would add that if someone wants to be my boyfriend then they shouldn’t act like I don’t have alters
When the new alter s are in the system and having a partner who wants to be a part of the system I need to know if that can be possible I am Adrian I am a part of the scarlet star system
Some people confuse being otherkin and being a system; DID forms as a result of a child experiencing trauma and coping by dissociating, while otherkin is generally a coping mechanism where someone finds identity in a concept, character, etc. Both are forms of escapism, and there can be overlap between the two in some cases; or if one delves deeply enough into escapism with otherkin and doesn't have DID, it seems people start experiencing things that at least appear to mimic DID, which are likely dissociative symptoms as a response to them basically training their brain to dissociate from reality. I'm not one to say what is what in any other person, this is mostly just my understanding of these kinds of situations.
What do I do if an alter is mean to me and hits me sometimes? I love my friends system and I try to support them all the time but one alter seems to think I’m extremely annoying and treats me poorly...I’m not sure what to do because I love the whole system but when this one alter comes out I’m scared I’m going to be attacked mentally or hit? I don’t want to just have to leave when that alter comes out because that doesn’t seem very supportive on my part
When it comes to asking questions, is it ok to ask what someone's triggers are? More specifically, what I should avoid doing/saying. I get the desire to be treated like a functioning adult, but I also don't want to continue doing a behavior that causes distress. Thank you for being so amazingly informative! And all-around amazing!
The person will tell you. Asking directly what triggers a person has is kind of invasive. If you’re worried about a specific topic you’re about to bring up say, “hey, is this topic ok?” -Kim Kim
What's that rain pipe type of sound in the background? I know, really off topic, but it just takes all of my attention because I have no clue what it is and then I feel bad for not being able to fully concentrate on what you're saying because I know you're talking about some really important topics. You don't have to remove it or anything, it's not about the sound itself, it's about not knowing and my brain being weird. The sound is rather calming actually, I kinda like having it there in fact.
Wheelchair user here:
please don't bend down. It's uncomfortable, awkward, and condescending. When you do stand, though, stand a comfortable distance away so I, the wheelchair user, can hold my neck in a comfortable position rather than craning it.
Don't push me. I only trust very few of my closest friends and family to push me, and random people that I meet are not one of them. If I ask, feel free, but otherwise, keep your hands off the handles.
Understand if the wheelchair user gets up and walks to something. Ambulatory wheelchair users are totally valid and are a thing!
DOn't ask someone what happened. It's kind of a deeply personal thing that it's hard to explain to anyone on the street. If you become friends they'll often tell you!
If you are pushing someone, tell them when/if you let go. I can't feel the handles so I don't know whether or not you're still pushing.
Kim Kim is maturing and being more open in front of our eyes every video she is in, love it.
I agree🤘💖
This!!!!
Omg I cannot believe how important this channel has become to me. I am not a system but since when I started to watch your videos I just feel like it is the most usual thing for me. This has been my favorite channel for a while now, and it’s just so comfortable to see all of you talking about your lives. Kisses from Brazil, wish I had the opportunity to meet you someday \0/ you’re all so awesome
Bom dia! É incredível que o mundo já é pequeno
If you don't introduce yourself, is it ok to ask who's out? Also I totally get needing reassurance that you're welcome. I'm not multiple but I struggle with feeling unwelcome and insecure.
Oh yeah me too.
If I remember correctly from another's youTube video, it is okay to ask whom you are talking to. Something like, "Hi. Who am I speaking to?"
If I'm wrong Entropy System, please let me know and I'll delete this. Thanks.
I’d say it’s ok to ask :) -Wyn
It's totally okay to ask who's out with us, but only in specific ways, like most of us don't appreciate the "who am i speaking to right now" since its a bit confronting but we super duper appreciate "oh hey, who's out today? oh? how are you? whatve you been up to? etc."
This is all very useful, thanks. What do you think would be some of the best ways to ask who's out? I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable or offended, but I would like to know who I'm talking to so I can actually treat them as the individual people they are.
This was great. I 100% am down with all of these points. For our system, I would also say that letting us introduce ourselves individually is important to us. We like when people are interested in the whole system, but we also feel kind of pressured to perform? That doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it feels like they're less interested in us as individuals and more like we just have this weird thing we do, like a party trick. It's probably just the 'abuse brain', as Kim Kim called it, but it's how we feel.
Ditto! It kinda depends on the situation for us, and various other stuff... A lot of our parts aren't as distinct and a lot of us have the birth name, just different ages and stuff...
But there's parts who very much want to let you know who they are, like Emily (if it's a time she feels safe to do so, vs pretending to be the birth name and current age), she loves being able to be "seen"...
Really though, I think it comes down to everyone, DID or not, wants to be accepted and seen/heard and wanted and respected.
So I know we all do appriciate when someone can notice a switch and roll with it, even if they don't ask who we are, just having it clear in the interaction that whoever is out is welcome, and we like when people notice and don't mind that we've switched to a little etc... I'm not explaining well, sorry... But I have similar experience :)
I also really like the term "abuse brain"... Totally relate to that!
Some of the guys in our system get so annoyed when people force them to introduce themselves... They're really private and prefer pretending to be our host. It's not even a matter of trust but more a matter of them not liking to be known... Than there's other alters who will announce their presence like the fing Queen of England just walked in xD
I can understand that, since I have a few close friends with DID. One of my friends' alters has a really long name and likes to say his full name a lot; He's a Prince basically, so he literally always announces himself like that, it's fricking hilarious, he's so adorable. I love their system, they're my best friends. I'm so glad this channel exists so I can learn more about DID and this video just made my day lol. I never forced them to introduce themselves, I dunno why someone would.. i mean, I don't know your circumstances, but ya know... You seem nice, um... Have a good day...(lol, idk where I was going with this😂)
@@carrotandpeas Our girlfriend forces us to introduce ourselves because you know.. Don't want to be kissing a stranger or someone who she isn't dating. Also introducing ourselves helps people learn how to tell us apart... Just, some of us hate doin it xD you have a nice day too. You're so sweet and adorable :3
@@DamyenLeFay Oh, okie! And thanks.❤️
Haha, we can kinda relate! In our system some sprinkles feel that referring to them by their sprinkle names feels extremely intimate, so they share a subsystem name.
We do something similar on another scale too, expecting every one who's not particularly close to us to just address our human as if we were a singlet and not worry about addressing specific sprinkles. We figure this is prolly a common natural tendency since it supports covertness about plurality, which is often adaptive in a singlet-normative society. We could be dang near invisible except to our friends, if not for our inability to handle the emotional burdens of being in the closet and cognitive burdens of constant, full-time masking behaviour.
I know ppl at some point would ask you to switch right in front of them just so they can see what it look like.. I know that is a big DO NOT..... There's a female system somewhere on youtube.. She said she don't switch in front of ppl... She said that she hates it when ppl ask her to do that cause it's not that simple for her and that if she does switch in front someone... She gotta be extremely close to you and really really trust you..... If you feel that same way.. That should be number 8... Some ppl just wanna see shit to see shit and don't care how other ppl feel...
We absolutely hate switching in front of people. We avoid it even with Wyn’s husband. I totally agree that it is not ok for someone to ask a system to switch just so they can see. -Kim Kim
@@TheEntropySystem Yeah cause to me that's like somebody askin to see that six finger you have.. Or if a person stutter to say a certain word that they have a hard time gettin out all just to satisfy their fascination of it...
Plus off the topic... I watch this soap opera called Days Of Our Lives... They had a storyline about a girl that had DID... They kept sayin when talkin about what her alters did that she was "sick".... I'm thinkin and I'm like..... Nooooo!!! This is incorrect... She not sick... For most she has a condition... But she is far from sick... Am I right?
im not able to control switching much ? does that change as communication increases?
Different systems can have different boundaries, so maybe the best general policy might be to just ask what those boundaries are. In our system, for example, sometimes switches are involuntary and feel a lot like how nudity feels, and many of us are also shy about being pointed out, so we prefer to let the sprinkle taking the wheel decide how to acknowledge the event; if she wants to announce herself she'll say "hi," or smile and wave, or give a friendly bark or something, but she instead might prefer to avoid any extra attention or mention.
@@rainbowsprinkles4234 If I ever met someone multiple in person.. I could never be like... "So switch for me.. Let me see what's that like"... I get the feelin its like askin yall.. "Let me see what underwear you wear". Just the same way I wouldn't want someone to ask or keep askin me to perform somethin I seen do or say... It would be my comfort level decision to do so.. To request somethin like that is like forcin someone to entertain... Nobody wants to do that unless they feel like it.
I agree very much with the "ask questions because we know you have them and it helps us all feel more comfortable interacting." Questions from people who care aren't offensive, in my opinion. Awkward? Sometimes. But they are asking because they care, and I like knowing that. If you're unsure about something, just ask! If you wanna help but don't know how, ask! What accommodations do I need? Ask me! It's like with anyone else - you would ask their likes, dislikes, preferences, allergies if you're making food for them, so in the same way, you can ask about illness and disability too - especially when someone has told you you're welcome to ask if you have questions. The worst that can happen is "I'd rather not say" as an answer, and that's okay too.
I’m very new to this whole DID thing, and I’m only slowly realizing how much of it really applies to me but when you mentioned that Daniel does not like drawing attention to himself, my own headmate had a rather explosive response because he too does not like the attention. ‘EXACTLY!’ It was very sudden and loud and my whole body moved but he was not in control at the time so it shook me for a moment and then I laughed cuz it was just very sweet. I’ve been learning a lot about me and my headmate from these videos so thank you!
As someone who has very bad anxiety plus being an empath I wish that my friends understood that sometimes it gets too overwhelming being with them for so long and I need a break for myself. It's not that I don't enjoy being in their presence it's that energies can be very draining and sometimes I just needed time by myself to regroup and restore my own energy.
I can relate. Me being me, I like and cherish my alone-time, and a lot of people I know including my close family dont understand that. Similar to you, its not that I don't care; It's just that I need my alone time. And sometimes I stay up all night because I want that alone time to last longer, because sometimes that that's the only time I get.
So, um.... Yeah, I can relate...
Carissa Smith same here, Friends are great but socializing is hard with anxiety and empath-ing so I’ll let people know when I start getting to know them that I’ll sometimes need to leave or give myself time. I usually leave being an empath out of it bc anxiety but yea
I was going to say this as well. I’m not a system, but I have very bad anxiety and I hate being told, “it’s all in your head” or “just relax, there’s nothing to be anxious about”.
Empath here aswell so i completly understand and relate with you i too have Anxiety so need my very much needed charge up time its frustrating when loved ones dont understand isnt it
Hey just a heads up and it could just be for me but the audios a bit off in headphones?
The Doe System nah, it’s a been messed up
Seems to be no right channel coming from the mic.
I only got one side for Kim Kim, but Wyn's outro was in both my headphones.
same here, Kim Kim's portion was left ear only but the outro was both headphones. It was still a good video :)
I'm here for that sneaky little Hitchhiker Guide to the Galaxy reference in there
I feel like this mostly boils down to (and I’m oversimplifying here, I know) ask questions and don’t be a jerk. In which case, got it. 👍🏼
EDIT: I have multiple invisible illnesses and my biggest thing is just please ask ME what I WANT. A lot of people think they know how to help when I’m having trouble and the truth is what helps me is never consistent. Sometimes I want you to hold me and sometimes I want no one touching me whatsoever. Sometimes I can work through the pain and sometimes I need to go home. I think asking questions should just be a general rule because you never know what someone needs because you aren’t in their body or their head. I don’t know what will help my mom if she’s nauseous and she doesn’t know what will help me when I’m nauseous. We have to communicate that to each other.
Your makeup is amazing, Kim Kim.I agree with all of these things. I hate the stepping on eggshells feeling so why would we want anyone else feeling that way when it comes to us? We'd much rather you ask questions and say things without worrying that we will be offended cause we will let you know if you have. I also so appreciate when people welcome me when I come out, because I feel like a burden a lot of the time so that passive welcome plays tricks on me too. -Dani
First off - Makeup on point and I love that sweater.
On subject stuff, so many good points here!! I could write for ages on all of the super good stuff you hit on. My brain is cycling through so many things, but I don't want to comment a huge book of thoughts and feelings. "Abuse brain" is such a legit, real point and perspective. Basic human decency really sums things up well, I think.
Brilliant explanation Kim Kim. I feel prepared if I ever meet a system. I have ME/CFS and I feel people who don’t understand my condition walk on eggshells around me. Like you ,all I want is for people to be respectful and caring. Luckily those I love fully understand. I am really enjoying learning about people with DID! Love to you and your head mates.
I just recently found out my partner of 5years has DID, I actually noticed before him and talked him into seeing a specialist because I didn’t feel like it was my right or that I was qualified to tell him something like that. The one thing that he really appreciated that I did was the amount of research I did to learn everything I could to not only understand but to be more helpful and supportive. That is also because I’m on the spectrum and when I learn something new I feel like I have to know everything about it 😅 but I felt like it was important to know if I wanted to be a good supportive partner. Which is why I appreciate your videos so much. He has a hard time communicating right now because it’s kinda overwhelming for him so having some of my questions answered somewhere else is really helpful. You were part of the reason I figured it out because he has a female alter and would wear girls cloths and I never thought anything about it because it’s not something I thought was a big deal, and then I saw your video about how you really learned how you had DID and everything clicked together and I was able to meet Daisy 🤍
Hi Kim Kim, and the rest of the Entropy System. This was a great video. We have only a handful of people who actually know about our system, and I agree with every point you made. The only one that we don't actively seek is for people to address us specifically by name, because frankly most of the people (aside from our husband) aren't really sure who is out and most aren't the all that comfortable with knowing how to handle different personalities all in one body. Even with our husband we don't announce who is out all the time and don't expect him to realize someone new has come out, though normally he can tell and will ask who is fronting if he's unsure. Maybe it is just us still trying to feel "normal" by not announcing who's fronting at any given moment, because the ones of us who front frequently and are basically co-hosts feel like it's something that just steps us out of the norm of our day to constantly announce "HI I'm here now!" While I (Jessica) am the main fronter most days, we can switch 4 or 5 times a day sometimes just to get things done, because we all have our strengths and weaknesses for certain things or someone wants to be out to pursue a special interest or they feel like coming out to have a meal or whatever. We've just gotten to a point where when a switch happens we go about whatever tasks were at hand or the reason for the change and just get on with it without making a fuss. Unfortunately for us we also contend with being on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum, which can be the reason for switching out so we have the added social anxieties that go along with it. Anyway, love you all! Your words are of great comfort to so many of us.
Love love LOVE this! So helpful! My Fiance has D.I.D and I'm certainly going to have him watch this. He's not as forthright when speaking about it as some others. Even tho him and I have it setup to what's ok and comfortable for him, it's not that way with others. I'm sure this will help him and help family and friends know what and not what to do! Thanks!
Hi Kim Kim..I think thats really what everyone wants. Any human just wants to be treated with respect and sensitivity to their unique aspects of their personality. Multiple or not. Atleast thats what I personaly as a Bipolar (and not multiple) would ask from others.
Dang make up is on point KimKim's aesthetic is honestly my favourite 😂
Thankfully, not too many people call out Emma's name in our system life. Worst thing is when I only just realise that they're addressing us and I'm like "huh?" but it's also really funny when people are full on screaming up stairs for us - CL
Thank you Kim Kim for another great video! This was really helpful.
I'm not in a system myself, but I really relate to the "actively welcoming" part. I often feel insecure about being unwelcome and unwanted somewhere, and that kind of "passive acknowledgement" usually only affirms my fears. Letting me know, as explicitly as possible, that I am welcome and people actually want my company is so important to me and I can't stress enough how much I appreciate it. Unfortunately, not enough people realize that...
P.S.: Your eye makeup is fire!
the healthiest thing I've learned is asking the other person if they're up to listening to my worries or if I'm upset and would want some support. It shows that 1) you understand the other person is their own person and they are allowed to say no (place boundaries) 2) emotional support and labour is tiring and does take a certain level of attention and sometimes people might've just had the shittiest day and aren't ready to be available 3) it also gives you confidence.. saying 'hey I'm upset, this is what I need, is this ok with you?' I can't begin to say how much it's helped with the feelings of being a burden, feeling unworthy etc because it reassures yourself when the other person agrees to listen to you if that makes sense? Like you're not stuck wondering if they're only helping you because you tricked them because before even venting they actually tell you yes or no. I also appreciate it whenever someone I care about does this to me ^^ Of course there are times when distressing emotions are completely overwhelming and you can't do this, but in that case it's definitely important to thank the other person after you've calmed down and feel safe ' - ')b
We wanted to add: If you’re a singlet (non-multiple) and you’re watching this video, that’s already a really amazing, kind, and meaningful step in supporting your system friends!
When we came out to one of the closest people in our life recently, he told us that he thinks we’re imagining things (even though he himself used to make up different nicknames for different headmates), that he didn’t want to hear about it, and that we should save the info dump for our therapist. Compared to that, walking on eggshells would be a breath of fresh air.
I recently found out that one of my internet friends has DID so I’ve been watching these videos to learn more about it, thank you for making them!
as someone with OSDD, every one of these points applied to us. we'll be sending this video to our two best friends so they know how to deal with us.💕💕
I feel like we have been seeing Kim Kim more often, so nice to know you better!
Thanks for the video kim kim! It was really informative about understanding did more, especially you guys!
Also i love your makeup today! It looks awesome!
Honestly this list is great. Awesome job on this video Kim Kim!
#1 YES! PLEASE ASK QUESTIONS! There are people we know where I literally have to prod them like: ask any questions you have! Please!
#2 I wish more people were honest about where they stand with us. Only one of my friends has said that he basically needed time to wrap his head around it and I was cool with that. But other people I know have definitely been walking on eggshells.
#3 Don't panic XD lol yeah Don't worry too much about what you say. If something you say is potentially offensive, we'll let you know and we won't be actually be upset unless you're doing it on purpose. (One good example of this is one time someone who was really curious about DID called my headmates "characters" and honestly I just gently corrected them like "hey, they're not exactly characters, they're people like you and me. Most people call them alters or parts or headmates. Don't worry, I'm not upset or anything, there's no way you could've known that lol expecting you to know everything about a disorder you have no experience with would be silly XD")
#4 Try to use our names, yup. As a system with new communication, being called by our names is like the best feeling ever. Of course, if you can't tell who's who it's totally okay to ask "who's out right now?" But, accidentally using the wrong name is like accidentally using the wrong pronoun. It's fine, we know you didn't do it on purpose and we get that it can be hard to remember until you get used to it and even after you get used to it. Honestly, even trying really means a lot to us
#5 I didn't actually really realize this one before to be honest. We haven't gotten to the point where we tell other people we've switched all that often. I'll keep that in mind. From what I understand you should basically act like a new person just walked into the room.
#6 RESPECT BOUNDARIES YES!!! Even after I told my dad that Erika really dislikes strong smells, he still insists that we smell strong smelling things all the time. Even though I tell people all the time that none of us (except Alex) like being touched on the back but they keep doing it anyway! Asdfghjkl
#7 Yes, I'm sorry but please be patient! We've been through a lot of shit so sometimes stuff is hard. Sometimes we don't even know what's going on in our own brain tbh
-Melon (with Alex co-con probably)
Love your look in this video, Kim Kim! So glad to see another super helpful video.
This is very helpful! Thanks for making this, Kim Kim and the Entropy System! I am not a multiple, so it's nice hearing from different systems about what each system prefers etiquette wise. And you're right, Kim Kim, some of it is basic human decency stuff. I hope that - if a system ever introduces themselves to me - I'll be able to make whoever is fronting feel welcome and secure, thanks to videos like these.
This is a year late, and we don’t know you, but thank you for being so accepting of systems. It really means a lot. ❤️
That was so heartfelt. Though I haven’t met a person with DID yet, I’m sure to remember these tips. 😊
Also boundries with our alters is extremely important (physical and emotional).
Our #1 rule, ask for permission to to touch us. A yes 5 minutes ago is not a yes right now. Because of passive influence (as opposed to full switches), it is hard for others to tell who is out, so for us, don't assume. Ask.
Only the left head phone is working :(
Oh, ok, I thought I was the only one!!
It does that to me, but only with one pair of my headphones, so I threw them away... Maybe I shouldn't have?
I’m pretty sure they got a yeti mic recently mic’s and be tricky KimKim might have just set it wrong mics can be tricky they’re annoying to set up lol 😂
i'd like people to accepting and understanding about my mental and physical health. sometimes people need time to adjust and that's fine but it really hurts when people refuse to either admit the problem exists or not look beyond it.
i'd like people to be understanding of my short coming and treat me as me. treat me as a person and not a problem/dead weight. i'd like it for people to not ask me to do things multiple times and understand that sometimes i CAN'T and am incapable of doing certain tasks and not get upset over it.
i'd like everyone with a disability of any kind to be treated like that.
It makes me a bit sad that the backdrop of each of these tips is just to respect you each individually. I guess it's because some people can't see you each as different people since you share a body, but I wish these tips could be more specific and not like "don't treat me like someone else because I am not someone else." (Obviously not your fault for that though!)
Love your makeup Kim!
If there’s one (1) thing I’d like to share with anybody who would interact with me at work, it’s that ‘please don’t ever send signals down my line during potty time, unless it’s an actual emergency. I do not find that type of dry humor funny at all. Thank you.
I really relate to the passive acknowledgement part of this - tolerance vs acceptance and that causes me a lot of discomfort. Ditto on the hugs
What is going on with the headphone audio... ?
Lol I think poor Holly's heart would melt if someone used her name.
How did you come up with your system title, and what does it mean? By the way, I absolutely love your system!!! xxxxxxx
Hello Kim Kim want to thank you for your perspective on how you like people approach your system.
It's just the second video of you I watch and I totally agree !
Particularly with the names...... For school and Family, my name is Marie and it's ok, it's the name of our body, the name on our identity card, etc.
It's even my google name (because I use gmail to send homework to teacher for exemple). But I currently live in my innerworld as Yokko, leader of our OSDD 1b system, with 9 internal friends I love ^^ And as I'm the main person to front, I prefer to be called Yokko ^^
Also, I love to be questioned on this ! As we're always co-conscious, it makes my alters participate, and it changes a lot their days to be able to speak to an "outsider" (a non-part-of-our-system person ^^)
So, as a system, I have some tips too (due to my personnal experiance) :
- I can feel like a "we", even if sometimes I use "I" too often. It's an habit when you have to live something in secret... so :
- don't panic if you don't know what pronoun to choose.
I'm french so it's a bit complicate sometimes, in english, you would say "you", but my french friends sometimes don't know when to use plural..... I/We make mistake my/our selves...... It's not an issue at all ^^ !!!
- Don't be mad at some other systems if they don't live things like you, if you are a system too.
- Be aware psychology is not the same in different countries. For example, there are so much more studies on systems in the US than in France.... It's important to be aware when you talk to a system online because being able to see a psychologist may be more difficult for some people. (I'm scared to ask for a psychologist, and that he would not even believe systems exist)
Not condesending/condesending voice,
and let me be free.
Me=both physical AND brain disorder stuff.
=anixity for people condesending to me/discriminateing to not let be free,and if i need help=i ask.
My biggest questions if I were to ever meet another system (Someone very close to me is a system, though they never used that word until I discovered the DID community and started discussing it with them) would be "How many of them know me/know about me?" "What do they think of me/How is it best to be around anyone specific?" "What's your inner world like if you have one? Can I draw it?"
Hey my mom recently realized she was a part of the system and I'm having trouble understanding that I mean I know what it is and I know what it means I just don't quite know how to talk to all of her I guess would be the correct answer so I was just wondering if I could get some advice on how to talk to all of my mother cuz I love her and she does not all of her system yet I'm just unsure of how to help
I'd recommend asking her. Find out if different parts want to be called different names, and who can and cannot be called Mom. Ask her to tell you about new parts when she finds out about them, so you can know a bit about them before you meet them.
Not all of the system will necessarily identify as your mom. I am the only one allowed to mother my daughter. The littles
know that, until I decide she's ready to know about them they can watch and give me their thoughts, but they can't interact with her. It happens sometimes.
All of them live her and know her. I know when she's older they will be overjoyed to talk to her.
Ask questions. Don't be surprised if some of them don't feel they're your mom. Take it slowly. Be patient. Remember that it's ok for YOU to have struggles finding out your mom is a system. Find someone to talk to about that if you need to. Take care of yourself so you can be there for your mom and her system.
That's my advice.
Hello H2G2 reference...
Also it seems like the only people who identify me by my name are the ones who I introduced myself to as James and don't know that's not my legal name. My family still calls me by his name even though they know I'm not him.
Very reasonable guidelines. You are human just like us. Hugs (virtual not actual 😃). Often I like the plural in referencing our system.
I know this video is years old, but it's so helpful. I have a friend who recently let me know they have D.I.D. and learning how to be a good friend and supporter is really important to me. Thank you for all your helpful videos. You all are amazing!
I have 2 questions, not necessarily about this video, but thanks for making it!
1) is there such a thing as privacy in a system, especially for the one fronting? i am thinking of moments of intimacy for example or any other situation where one usually wouldnt like to be watched as maybe a really thorough session of picking your nose ;-)
2) do you have friends who one or more of your system members dislike? If yes how do you deal with that? Or do you know of any of your friends disliking anyone inside the system? I mean... it happens, we cannot like everyone and as of a while ago not everyone in the system didnt like each other (daniel and kit?) So i guess it would be normal for this to be true with outside people too?
Thx for the channel! I learn so much and enjoy your stories
I’m not diagnosed with PTSD but I have a lot of symptoms of it such as night terrors and memory loss. (My parents won’t let me get diagnosed, they don’t believe in mental illness or really know about my traumas). As I get older I cannot stand when people touch me, like at all. Other than my best friend who I absolutely trust, I get very stressed when people touch me and often lash out.
This was a really helpful video, Kim Kim! That abuse brain bit was something I haven't really heard of before, so learning about it was definitely a good thing.
As for how I'd like people to act with me concidering my anxiety, I'd love it if everyone could know a little bit of basic sign language. My anxiety shows up mainly as anxiety attacks, there's the initial shock that lasts for 1 to 10 minutes and the aftermath that can last from 1 hour to 5. Even after the aftermath it's pretty easy to relapse into an attack. Anxiety works differently for everyone, but with me, I can move my body really well, but my breathing is troubled, I feel like I'm not getting any air in, but it's about normal speed, my heart is going crazy too, I'm crying, and I go mute. +All the chaos and fear that is going on inside my brain. Everything else goes to normal after the initial shock except being mute and the purely mental stuff (mental stuff calms down a lot, but it doesn't go back to normal, it turns from fear and chaos into a calm sadness and loneliness, with a hint of cold self deprivation). Those go on through the aftermath, which can be 5 hours at a time, and it can relapse. I've been mute for 10 hours straight because of relapsing and in that state I'm already feeling really low, so at least being able to communicate that I'd like some food or water, or excusing myself to the bathroom for the teacher, could be great.
Woah-we thought we were the only ones who had attacks like that!
I’m sorry you experience that. I hope you have a good support system. From our experience, I can empathize with how awful it is to not be able to communicate and be with people who don’t get that.
@@SoulSystem-ff6jo Yeah, I'm a lot better now. I have friends who I've taught some sign language to and I've healed a lot as I've been in less contact with bad people, so I get these attacks way less. I also found a therapist that works in a way that works for me, she's solution oriented and trauma informed, so that has been helping a lot.
That’s really wonderful. Distance from people who are harming you and a good therapist make all the difference. I’m happy to hear that you’re doing better and that you’ve found supportive friends who can use sign language with you!
I've lost friends from telling them I'm a system. And I'm not mad at them I completely understand it. But, just kind of upsetting because we were good friends.
Thanks for making this!! Super helpful information!!
Frick thank u so much.... I'm struggling really hard to make the people in my life see that this is important and real for me and I'm questioning whether they really suck that bad or if I'm just not describing my experience in a way that they r able to digest ( I tend to overshare)
Question, I am getting set up on a date with a girl that I was told has DID and she herself hasn't disclosed this to me personally. I have been trying to educate myself to be as sensitive and considerate to her in advance, I am curious how I should let her know I know, or wait until she feels I am safe enough to open up about it? I feel sneaky pretending I don't know...not really fair to her :( I don't want her to feel like I only see her for the stigma. This is new to me and it must be really scary for her. How can I support her and her alters? Also if things blossom...where is consent for alters? It's very personal, and communication is key, but I feel nervous about honouring boundaries and consent for all of them and her. Thank you for all the education :)
Omg I was just trying to write out a short message or pamphlet or darn list on a teeshirt to reinforce system wide boundaries. Tyty
Everyone irl is sooooo scared to even mess up that we … don’t get to talk irl much. Ty for posting these vids. It’s soooo helpful
Kim Kim I am do I just got diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder it and none of my alters feel comfortable enough to come completely out maybe call conscious at the time but they’re still very uncomfortable even talking with me I am to talk to her therapist and I’m trying to get them to actually talk for another more and trying to get down to interact more outside because I would like them to actually I’ll come out and actually share the body with me and make themselves known but they’re all afraid they won’t even come out with my therapist yet because of the fear and it kind of makes me feel lucky and freaking but I know I’m not
im pretty uncomfortable with hugs but I know Addison doesn't really mind, on the other end of the spectrum i think if someone tried to hug Klaus he'd punch them dfkajshdf
Hi Kim Kim, thanks for this nice Video. 😊 My huge luck is, that my mom and my best friends are really openminded and so kind to everyone of my system. Their reaction was so cute. And they have good and diffrent realationships to my alters. One friend is more close to the littles and the others are more close to the Host and Protectors. 😊
Am I the only one who is curious to find out which person you know has DID, since the odds are there, but noone probably knows/wants to tell me. I hope this doesn't sound disrespecting, because all I want to be is someone who knows and accepts and can be a non-therapeutic support, if wanted.
Hi Kim Kim! Thank you so much for making this list! It was nice to get to see such an informative video. It helps shed a light for those that might not know how to work with a system and it gives me a very good basis to give to anyone that I might not know or be comfortable explaining how to treat my alters.
You did a great job on the video Kim Kim I feel the same way on these points personally I feel like I offend a lot of people because I'm sometimes I'm having what I call for myself a ”moment” people get angry at me a lot because I say crap that I don't even remember 😕
This video is so helpful...I think I may have did and I am struggling a lot especially with how to ask people to treat me... thank you as always..
I realized there was more to me in my late 20s, early 30s I began communicating with all of me. I have pushed it away a lot. 2 years ago I was in amazing communication with many inside. Then I really pushed away. I am now 47. Had a recent loss where 2 parts came forward and one was communicating to another, they were 2 I did not recognize, both young and I was pushed back. So now I am alert and I know I need to come to terms with all of us. I have began watching videos and came across the entropy system. I must say... you guys are amazing. We totally relate! I just started watching your videos this weekend and in my opinion you guys are the best and so real to us. I look forward to catching up on the entropy videos as I reconnect with the many faces of Susan. Thank you so MUCH!
Um holy wow Kim Kim, your makeup is SO GOOD. Does Kit still do it for you or is this your work? So dope.
Hi Kim Kim. I really liked this video and found myself nodding in agreement multiple times. It even made me smile. =) thanks.
Yes! I have to echo all of these wonderful points KimKim brought up!
For our system the only other problem we face semi-regularly is having to try and explain to other people that after a switch has occurred that it’s oftentimes rude to immediately request a different alter. I understand sometimes it’s not ok for certain alters to come out during certain times, but loving and accepting each part as they come out is most important in these situations.
hi Entropy System i do have a question to ask can blackouts and hearing audible voices in the headspace indicate its possible im disassosiating im undiagnosed but the more i learn the more its making sense i get warnings a blackout is going to happen i get a minor headache feel like drained tired etc a bit dizzy so need to lay down ive been hearing audible voices while blacked out and while awake i hope you can answer this asap i love you guys your all awesome
Thanks Kim Kim for the educational video! : )
are you all the same kind or you are completely different? i mean do you have charakter traids which each of you has? sorry for my english. greets from austria
I will share this with people who we open up to about our system. Kim Kim you have clearly grown so much. You seem so much more confident and eloquent the more videos you make. I'm really proud of how far you have come! love from Mystic Synergy!
One of the things that helps my alters is when people accept us. Also one thing big thing for us is when people dont dissmiss us and tell us "i" am faking it. That is a really bad isdea. The absolute worst thing is to us is when someone really disslikes one personality a lot more than other personalities. We all want to be treated the same.
I have Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD, and autism(asperger's). Like you said with your DID/System interactions with understanding and boundaries, honesty and politely asking questions is something I value so much in others when it comes to understanding how my brain works, and why I may behave differently than others. With my BPD, I do understand why its hard for others to be honest about certain things do to my rapid and mostly unpredictable mood cycling, but I'm less likely to be overly symptomatic if people are honest if I overstepped with them and how I did so (I will genuinely not know most of the time). With my autism and PTSD, I prefer to be asked before being hugged (after panic attacks and flashbacks, I prefer to be asked before being touched at all). I also get different forms of dissociation (to the point I have wondered about osdd1a tbh, but I haven't inquired with a professional about it as of yet), so if I don't remember a certain interaction, it may take a lot of surounding details of the event before I get a vague recollection of it or it may be gone all together. Many of my friends and family are aware of this, and I tend to ask that if I did something to them (I tend to have anger outbursts during amnesia episodes) that they tell me so I can apologize for it. My best friend and mom (at the least) can sometimes tell when I'm in a dissociative eposode like that based on my glazed over eyes and sometimes a pink flushing in my skin.
Pretty much everything you have said for you DID system is how I like to have my mental health and trauma history handled. You mentioned physical health at the end too...my family has a plethora of chronic health problems, and I seem to be getting symptoms of the form of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome - hEDS with higher risk of aortic dissection and aneurism. This form has "degenerative contentive tissue disease" so the systems aren't always stagnant like some other forms of EDS - my sister has (hopefully getting tested soon to know for sure), but just try to respect my energy levels and pain as much as possible - trust me, my lack of ability annoyes me just as much lol.
Thank you for sharing this video and for asking us to share our own feelings with our own disorders❤
I’m only getting sound from the opener, not the rest of the video? Anyone else having this problem?
I agree with everything in the video the only thing different for me is time Loss is more common for me and I would add that if someone wants to be my boyfriend then they shouldn’t act like I don’t have alters
You are so kind and beautiful. Thank you for your diligence.
I can't hear anything she says. I can hear the special effect sounds but not her voice.
When the new alter s are in the system and having a partner who wants to be a part of the system I need to know if that can be possible I am Adrian I am a part of the scarlet star system
This is really helpful I have a friend who is a system and there not that great at explaining things
At least my face blindness won't affect the fact that I can't tell people apert (can't spell sorry)
I want to be friends with all of y'all. You are all amazing.
0:30 You’re ALTERing it?
Whoa. Hi Kim Kim. I've never seen a video with Kim Kim.
Is it weird to say i would LOVE to be yous' friend 😊
I have a question: has anyone heard of someone having a fictive personality before they know or accept that they have DID?
Some people confuse being otherkin and being a system; DID forms as a result of a child experiencing trauma and coping by dissociating, while otherkin is generally a coping mechanism where someone finds identity in a concept, character, etc.
Both are forms of escapism, and there can be overlap between the two in some cases; or if one delves deeply enough into escapism with otherkin and doesn't have DID, it seems people start experiencing things that at least appear to mimic DID, which are likely dissociative symptoms as a response to them basically training their brain to dissociate from reality.
I'm not one to say what is what in any other person, this is mostly just my understanding of these kinds of situations.
I can’t hear it for some reason. It’s like on mute on my end.
What do I do if an alter is mean to me and hits me sometimes? I love my friends system and I try to support them all the time but one alter seems to think I’m extremely annoying and treats me poorly...I’m not sure what to do because I love the whole system but when this one alter comes out I’m scared I’m going to be attacked mentally or hit? I don’t want to just have to leave when that alter comes out because that doesn’t seem very supportive on my part
Your personal safety should be your top priority. If you feel like you are not safe, leave. -Wyn
Hey, is anybody else getting weird audio from this video?
I love your makeup! Did Kit do it?
Such a good video, well another goid video. Thanks
When it comes to asking questions, is it ok to ask what someone's triggers are? More specifically, what I should avoid doing/saying. I get the desire to be treated like a functioning adult, but I also don't want to continue doing a behavior that causes distress. Thank you for being so amazingly informative! And all-around amazing!
The person will tell you. Asking directly what triggers a person has is kind of invasive. If you’re worried about a specific topic you’re about to bring up say, “hey, is this topic ok?” -Kim Kim
@@TheEntropySystem Thanks! I'll keep that in mind.
We need to be able to like this more than once.
That look scares me :-(.
Is it offensive to ask who's out
What's that rain pipe type of sound in the background? I know, really off topic, but it just takes all of my attention because I have no clue what it is and then I feel bad for not being able to fully concentrate on what you're saying because I know you're talking about some really important topics. You don't have to remove it or anything, it's not about the sound itself, it's about not knowing and my brain being weird. The sound is rather calming actually, I kinda like having it there in fact.
It’s the cat fountain. Sorry 😅 we fixed it so the sound doesn’t show up anymore in other videos. -Wyn
@@TheEntropySystem Oh, cool! Thank you! :) I'll go rewatch the video now that I should be able to concentrate. Love all your works, btw!
your makeup looks so nice!!