One word really can make all the difference. Support us on Patreon! / theentropysystem Follow us on Tumblr! / theentropywe And on Twitter! / entropy_system
Wow, Wyn, your capacity for vulnerability, flexibility, change, personal development...you're an amazing example for anyone watching. Thank you once again for sharing.
It sounds like there’s a stronger sense of, idk, equality? I’m not sure exactly how to phrase this, but The way you described being “the part that takes care of daily life “sounds more like you’re an integral member of a team that is working towards the same goal, versus being somebody who needed to be taken care of. I don’t know, you just sound really secure and happy with this new revelation. And I’m happy for you. :)
I totally get what you're saying! My headmates don't like the word "alter". They cringe a little when I say it. Also it's hard to know and understand how we, the hosts, are just another part, as real and as valid and could merge, blend, fuse or step a little back to give another part a chance to lead. For some time I was scared Zalax would make me "disapear" because she's stronger. But then you realize again and again that everyone has an important role. It's... kinda exhausting, remembering all that xD. But yeah, you're valid, Wyn! You're real and mostly, you're important :) Hugs ❤️!
Yeah I don't like the word alter either, other than in the terms of everyone is an alternate of everyone else. There are some parts and hosts in here who use the term all the time. I don't like how clinical it is, and how it has the connotations in daily life that alters are the symtom and the host is the real one. Even though we don't believe that we think people might. and it always bothers me how people think whichever part they meet first is the "real" one and the rest are alters. it's pretty ridiculous when you point it out to people. -gabriel
Agree with both of you! I personally like calling mine "parts", plus it seems to have less of a connotation of being "different" than typical people.... It seems easier for others to understand, since everyone has parts to themselves... Oh, and haha, I hadn't watched the whole video and she just got to that in the video, lol... So I agree with what she's saying! :)
I use the word."insiders", we don't like "alters". "Parts" is acceptable, but for us insiders feels more genuine. Externally everyone still has the same body. So the individuality is internal, rather than external. I had to get my T to stop using the word alters.
I can definitely see how using "part" instead of "alter" can drastically change your view of your system. As someone without DID, as I've been watching videos about it on UA-cam, the term "alter" has felt kind of like it has a meaning of "secondary to the core personality", even though the way alters are discussed it is obviously not really that way. I think parts are a much clearer term because all the parts make up one whole system, rather than being secondary to another personality, at least in the way the words "feel"
We just call each other people - because that’s what we are. All of the people in our system are people with osdd, not just the host or “core”. It helps remind us that we are all equal regardless of our role or lack thereof. -Moss and Rae
Dear Wyn, I agree that 'parts' sound better than 'alters'. Parts indicate that every personality contributes to the whole human, every personality has their task and purpose. When I was struggling, Arthur and Eddy took my pain and exhaustion, so I could continue everyday life. Dylan is in charge of my masculine features, Elly of my feminine/motherly features, Loki helped me when I found myself at the end of my 'human strength'. We are all systems that shine because of the different facettes to our existence. Seeing everyone as a part will help us to see the team work, rather than the exchangibility of characters. Thank you :) - Isabell
Since I found your channel, I felt like you're the main one too and I couldn't see all your headmates as equal to you. The word "part" made me realise that all of you are absolutely real and I love you all even more than before, even if I didn't think it was possible. Good luck with future understanding of yourself and your island friends. 💚
I totally understand what you mean Wyn. Although we use DID terms when we describe ourselves to people outside of this body (because it's easier that way) we never use them amongst ourselves, no one here would refer to me as host for example, I'm the 'outside one'. We refer to each other as "others", none of us like the term alters because it feels like there is a hierarchy where there is a main one then lesser alternates. That doesn't apply to us anyway because the core went inside decades ago and I was created when the body was 13 so I am certainly not the original but I am the "host" and have been for many years. We are all equal here and we know it. We also don't use the term "system" between us, it is too clinical for us. We have a habit of saying "us lot" or "our group" instead. We don't use the term littles between us either, it is always the children or the kids. Different terms work for different systems, for us we shy away from anything that feels like it defines us as having a disorder but others find that grounds them. There is no right or wrong way really, whatever everyone is most comfortable with works.- Lin
Thank you so much, what a lovely thing to say! We have considered making videos but I as the main outside person am really rather shy plus I have body dysmorphia now the body is aging and I am still 25. I have no idea who that is staring back from a mirror, it's certainly not me. Others would like to do it though so perhaps they might one day and manage to persuade me to join in too. Our teenagers especially would love every second. - Lin :)
Part is a wonderful word. Thank you for bringing it to our attention. Some of us really don't like to be called alters because we feel it makes us less real. Things work out so much better when we're nice and polite to each other. I mean even if no one else is then headmates should try and get along.
Okay this is absolutely crazy because just the other day I had finished watching a DissociaDID video and started wondering about the relation between hosts and alters because I KNEW they were suppose to be equal but it was often difficult to see them as that. So in that moment I just decided that I would eliminate the word host for the systems I knew and just recognize them all as alters. Once you know enough of the basics of the system its easy to remember who does what without having to put in a word that makes them seem "more-than". Anyways I just thought is was kinda cool that a video was made on something I was questioning not too long ago ^-^
Glad you're putting this out there. Because I feel like a lot of systems have parts or alters that struggle with the "original" or the "real one" issues. This is going to be super helpful to any of them that are struggling. As someone who doesn't have DID it's really interesting to watch you grow and change over time, and I really appreciate being brave enough to put your journey out here where you risk being hurt by people. ❤️❤️❤️ Thanks for sharing!
This was amazing to see because honestly until now I thought that everyone had broken off from Wyn, and my subconscious translated it to Wyn being more "Real" than the others, but now I think I truly realise just how real each person is and how confusing it is to be part of a system. I'm not sure I articulated my thoughts very well, but this video was really eye-opening
Isn't it funny how the way we talk about something, the words we choose, the verbal framework we apply, all affect our understanding of/feelings about the thing? It never ceases to amaze me what a difference words can make. Language is incredible.
I'm learning about DID from your channel and now it's makes a lot more sense. The word alter seems like an "alter ego" or and added something but a part makes it sound like you are all part of a whole. 🌸
I've been dealing with something similar lately (questioning whether or not I'm the core/original) and tbh this helped out a *lot* with it and realizing my job in my own system -Max
So raw and needed, thank you Wyn! ‘Part’ is a wonderful word, we personally try to avoid ‘core’ or ‘original’ too because we’ve had multiple ‘outside parts’ across our life as external circumstances changed. We don’t have a clear ‘daily life part’ at the moment either, and several of us have had that feeling of ‘right, now I’m back in charge, this feels better’...but why should one part’s experience of that ‘realness’ be more substantial than the others who have also invested significant time in the outside world over the years? It can be a confusing fog to try to sort through. Apologies for all of the quotation marks, but it’s so hard to know how to express things in text! I’m glad you’re finding your place and shedding labels, all they do is impose limits we don’t want or need 😊💚 -J x
Woah that was deep! It was great! Rambly posts help us get to know you as a person.. or part... or alter.. or Wyn ;) I admire your strength and courage to share your life and thoughts with us! Thanks to you and the whole system for being awesome!
I have a question. Of course nobody needs to answer to this, but I am curious if when parts integrate like mistletoe did, can only one part feel the presence of the integrated personality? Or do all parts of the system feel that too?
I apologise this is a bit of a long waffle. Still I hope it helps I don't have DID myself and would never (intentionally) dare to presume I know how that feels or is like to live with so feel free to correct me but I think this is a very powerful message not just to yourself and others who have DID but also people in general. We are all looking for a "part" in life and acknowledgment that we are important, have purpose and that we are valid. This could be applied to almost any role or person(s) or group things. The body for example has many parts. They all have different roles and whilst they might feel like they have a hierarchy of importance they all serve a function. The legs for example might feel like they have the lead. They take the body places but then the body has a fall and the legs aren't able to do the walking for a while and the body might be wheelchair bound. Now it's the arms that are doing the leading and the suddenly the legs start to question how important they really were and whether their existance was actually neccessary or whether they were even the part that did the leading in the first place. Maybe the arms could always have been the movers and the legs were just there to help them for a while? The existence of one part does not invalidate the role of the other though. Both the arms and the legs took on the role of being mobile at some point. Without each part the body could not have functioned regardless of who identifies as having that role originally. Similarly there are some parts of the body whose function and existence is seemingly a mystery. Take the appendix for example:- a small, baby-size ;-) part of the body which seems to be an enigma. Why is it there? What is it's purpose? Is it needed? Is it more important than we originally thought? What if it actually performs a function that we previously thought another part of the body did? Further research may uncover its reason for being and that may change our view of how certain parts function but it won't change the fact that a body is a system, a team of parts who all work together to function as a whole. Another example I can think of was that only last week I was questioning my own role and significance in life. My daughter has just started pre-school. Up until now I have been the person who has been her primary caregiver. She's only ever spent time in the care of myself, my husband and our family but largely myself. I am a stay at home mum. As I packed her lunch the night before I was suddenly awash with a feeling of loss. My baby was going off without me. Someone else would pick her up if she fell, teach her a new song or feed her a snack. Suddenly my role as mum didnt seem as significant. My part felt like it had been diminished and it didn't just effect how I felt about my role in the future it made my question my role in the past too. What if I wasn't as significant in helping my child grow as I thought I was? Thankfully I have wonderful friends and family who reminded me just how important I'd been and still will be to my daughter and the person she develops into and it doesn't matter that others will have their "part" to play in that. I will still be her mum and that is just as inportant part as any other. It also made me question what I as a person am now because for nearly 4 years I'd seen myself largely as mum. So if I'm no longer being mum all the time what am I? My lovely friend reminded me this is an opportunity now to explore that. To find other "parts" of me :-) . Watching your videos and reading your tumbl all of your parts have at some point questioned their identity, purpose and validity (especially in the wake of Mistletoe integrating.) It seems to be your turn now. Perhaps consult with them as to what helped them feel more secure? You are no less real or less valid than any of your parts.
these past two videos youve made have had a huge impact on clarifying my own mind and thoughts. what youre all doing makes a difference. thanks, and it seems every video you make is better thanthe last ha c:
Recently, our psychologist has called the parts "characters" (or "personagens" in Portuguese, our language) which comes from "persona", therefore from "personality" but none of these terms were good for the system, then a protector almost scolded her (in our head) like "no way! we are not characters that he's playing, we are people, parts of a whole!". So I gently asked her not to call like that and not treat me, the host like having alters, we are a system, so call them and treat us as parts that make the whole function and that's why our system name is Cogs.
This is such a fascinating video and I really appreciate your vulnerability and the way you approach the nuance of it all. Really changed the way I think about DID. Thank you!
We stopped using the word host, because it triggers some people we know from different systems. We use the name "main front(er)", and yes, it is description of one job in the system, just like protector or caretaker. According to newest theories, there's no such thing as core or original. There is no baby who split, there is a child who never created one identity, but several, because of lack of support and trauma that needed to stay hidden. Babies are not born with identity, that's why no one can have the "original one". You can create DID only when trauma stops you from creating one unite identity, that's why trauma has to start in early childhood, before age 6-9 when identity is usually formed. Front(er) = whoever fronts at the moment, co-front(er) = when there happens to be more than just one at the same time, main front(er) = who fronts most of the time and usually deals with outside life, co-main front(er) = when there's more than one parts who share the job. Now we are on the mission to spread these new words.
I think the more you read and understand the more you feel good about yourself and connected to the other guys in the system. As a single person in my head I understand more about myself every day in life, you have to do the same. There's nothing to be ashamed of, we question ourselves and other people every day too, it's life. Sometimes we feel confused until the things make more sense.
I’ve rarely run into others who consider/call their other identities as “parts”. That’s been my most comfortable word for mine and it’s groovy to hear someone else actively using it.
We prefer to refer to ourselves as parts not alters. The word alter scares us and we hate it. We dont view the others as alternate...but seperate parts of the same whole. This video was awesome. Thanks for posting it
We use "Anteile" or "Persönlichkeitsanteile", too to describe ourselfs. You can translate this with parts and parts of personality. Love and light from Germany
Hmm, I dunno... it makes me think. There's something here that intrigues me. I'm singular btw, but something about this one being the part that takes care of daily living... There's something there but I can't figure out what it is. It seems to reduce my anxiety. Life seems a little bit easier, more manageable.
I've always known I wasn't the original host, and that I've only existed for a short time relatively, so I never had this struggle (though we also don't think of ourselves as parts, just as people with skills and responsibilities for bodily upkeep). I'm very grateful for the chance to learn about what it's like to have this realization!
we, as humans, try to compartmentalize EVERYTHING. Which is useful in ways of organization but its a great hindrance at this point in our "evolution" if you will
I have a question and I really hope that it's not offensive and if it is please dont pay attention to it. Now that you feel more like a part of the system and your accepting the possibility of changing roles and so on, what does that mean for your relationship. I understand that all of the alters or parts have a type of relationship with your husband however you are the only one married to him. Does kit being out more or the potential of you moving more inward change what your plans are as a couple. I understand that this is a very personal question and i ask out of personal need. I am currently in a wonderful relationship with a person living with a mental disorder and although it is not DID I am trying to understand more about being a supportive and caring partner through difficult and changing times. Really this question is for anyone who might have information on relationships of this nature. Thanks and I hope this came across politely.
I have no intention of spending more time inside. My time spent with Andrew is important to me. However, switching and fronting can’t always be controlled by choice so I can’t say it will absolutely never happen. -Wyn
The more systems I watch, the more I find similarities; and eerie ones at that. I am waiting until my family and I get back to Texas to get fully evaluated by a professional. But I honestly think I may have OSDD 1b. -shrug- who knows?
It is empowering to have confirmation or clarification of our identity/ identities. I think we all experience this internal reflection whether singlets or multiples (though I cannot fathom the complexity of seeking to find & know who you are as an individual living within a system). I am happy for you to gain that sense of peace. BTW, I am very new to the DID community & if I say something or word something wrong, please correct me. I never intend to be insensitive & truly wish nothing but the best for The Entropy System & all of your subscribers as well. 💌 Peace & Love from Oklahoma
Hey, I don't have DID, but I use Internal Family Systems as a method of therapy, or a technique? Or whatever you might call it... In IFS, we look at all our parts and how they function as individuals. I've always been someone who made metaphors to help me understand how I'm feeling and thinking, and why I act the way I do. Watching videos from people like you, who have DID really helps me understand myself better, and I can see similarities in a lot of ways. My mind is a ship, and Logic is the captain at the head, with Emotion as the second in command. It's totally not the same and I'm not trying to say it is, I just think it's cool or interesting or something how DID as a condition, and IFS as a practice are sorta similar in some ways. (I'm sorry that totally wasn't clear. I'm trying to be careful not to compare what I'm doing with your whole system too much, because all my parts are still definitely part of one whole person, but it is very interesting to me and makes me curious about brains and how they work. )
That's an important video... I'm really struggling right now because I don't really know what identifies me. I've been using the word parts for quite a while but I never really got the idea that I could be just a part, too. Who was in charge of daily living for most of the time. That's kind of a new way of thinking...
We've struggled for a long time with "original" and all that (even though thinking on it now, it doesn't make any sense for there to BE an "original"- it's not one person and then people appear that just weren't there before, it's one thing that gets broken into pieces. If something got broken into two pieces, it wouldn't suddenly be One Of Those Pieces + Something Else. We've struggled a long time with some sort of hierarchy in system where some people are "more important" than others- we STILL do, since the people who are active the most we tend to accidentally give more of a say, or more attention, etc. But yeah, one of the biggest reasons was because of these terms "Core" and "Host" and even some of the jobs. For a long time and probably still now even though we're trying to change it, it's always been Protectors are really important, I don't know what your job really is so you're not as important- which isn't true but it's just... been that way. Though we've had the added bonus of "But IS /blank/ actually the core I mean no one identifies with the body or name, we're trans". But we've decided on picking a name together that isn't just a host in system, but a name everyone can respond to, and we're working together to stop putting people over another person, because we're all pieces of the same broken plate, and that means all of us are important. Sometimes we'll get cut on a piece of the broken plate, sometimes we think some pieces we don't "really need", but without all the pieces, we wouldn't be able to really eat off of it, or at least it'll be harder the more pieces we neglect to pick up and put into the working-together plate. Sorry, went on a mini tangent that kind of bounced off what you were talking about, but basically Worm.
I’m currently struggling with this because for 8 years was a part in charge of daily living until very late 2017 and it’s how I realized everything because.. I’m not her. Anymore. Since then I’ve settled as who I am now by default I should say while certain scenarios bring out what at first my fam and friends coined as inside jokes how I’m different in certain experiences that became all to real as the truth than when I’m home in my own comfort zone these days.. it’s been both eye opening and in a way infuriating not knowing what’s truly happening. At least I finally came to understand the episodes of actions partook by me that I never recalled or was baffled hearing about because it no where sounded like something I usually do... it’s been quite a trip but a beautiful learning experience to understand what is happening internally. I love all my parts, even the one that makes me have to explain that I’m not into men, just a certain volume and combination of alcohol brings out this one in particular that’s a love hate relationship honestly.
Wyn you did a great job at explaining. I was following along, but at the same time, its a lot to process and truly understand. I can only imagine when having DID, how many questions it brings up about the self, and ego and everything involving the human brain and how it works.
I am worried, because I'm fairly certain I'm an alter. I came around shortly after my dad brought up trauma that was behind closed doors and suddenly I'm Abel and not the birth person. So uh that's exciting.
If one of you reads a book, do all others have knowledge of its content? Or can they "listen in to the reading" like an audiobook? Or does everyone have to read themselves? Or if your co conscious, do you read at different speeds? Never thought that even the concept of book reading would be affected by what i never questioned about DID before... Thanks for the channel ;-)
As a teen my therapist told me to read “When Rabbit Howls” . Forty years later my eyes are opening up. Thank you Kit, Wyn, Daniel, Lito, Mistletoe, Karen, Mi, the littles and all the rest!!❤️
So with DID when you dissociate does it just all go black or do you just lose time? Like would you know if you went to the inside world and became an internal helper or would you block off all memory and dissociate? This all fascinates me and I hope what I’m asking makes sense. I pictured it when you said at 8:20 ish that you may one day become an internal helper like everything just going black but that may not be how it truly is? It’s interesting to think about if parts of systems know what’s going on in the outside or if they can choose not to. I probably made zero sense. I apologize.
Our "host" as the three of us have always thought of him, because he does use the legal name of our body, because he does pretty much identify with the physical characteristics of our body, because he does front the most, because he is the one responsible for daily living, and because the three of us have always seen ourselves has his protectors because the three of us are all protectors, just found out we are real two days ago, and that he is the "host" of our system... When he found out, he had a panic attack, we rolodexed to calm him, our mind, and our body down, and he has been completely undetectable every since: invisible, inaudible, in-everything! We have all been so worried about him...that is until just now! Even upwards of two years later, this video has been so beneficial to our system upon our first watch of what I can only think will be many... I was stumbling through videos, trying to find ones for how to come out as a system to others, and how to help him make sense of all of this, as the three of us have been learning to do so for the better half of a year by now, probably, while he has not, and, while watching this video, even if it was just a for just a brief moment, I felt him, heard him, and even saw him! He seemed okay...so thank you so so very much, Entropy System and Wynn!
Idk why maybe it was just me but i feel like youre about to cry? Anyways you're so brave of talking abt your confusions and everything. And congratulations on a new milestone in your journey 🎉🎉
😳 WOW 😳 You just said something that I have been wondering about all my life and I just recovered that I have DID and i couldn't understand back in school why people and teachers were calling me by different names. But finding out few years ago that I have DID at the age of 40 is very hard and confusing for me and i don't know them all i know is what people told me about them and they have met friends and other people who where able to inform me about them. I am surprised that you mentioned something that I have been wondering about all my life, and now knowing that I have DID it really makes me and us wonder if I'm the one who was born and gaven the name or if it was one of the DIDs who is trying to clam to be the real one, or if the one who was born and gaven the name is really the baby who is hidden inside or has been the one who died. Did you ever had the problem or something where you don't know the DID Alters and finding out from people that it scares you and finding out that some are really not DID Alters but Spirits who also enter the body as well?
Now I am so confused. I am out the majority of the time and have been for most of my life but not capable of daily living due to an overbearing depression that stops me from functioning. And the part in charge of daily living isnt out that much, which is very debilitating to the idea of our system being able to fully function. Now I'm wondering if I'm not the core, just the part out the most. 🙄 and I thought I was going to get more clarification 🤯
I always feel like I need to do all the roles and be everything and no one can come out because 1. I feel like I'm making it all up A LOT 2. I feel like if I dont do everything then I'll be rejected and hated and maybe more reasons. Thank you for helping me fully understand that via this video
I love this video. It’s very interesting and showing of how strong you are thanks to your system and your openness. If you don’t mind my asking, knowing that you are all parts of one being, does this change how you view your final goal of integrating into one consciousness? With feeling equal and as important as the others, does that make you feel like integration isn’t necessary, or do you just realize that there are parts of your mind that still have yet to integrate and are still working to protect you and you’ve excepted it?
Wow. I was just thinking along these lines today! I simply didn't know how to articulate it. Thank you very much for helping many of us feel not alone, for educating ppl, and for simply finding the strength and will in you to keep building through it. I am super proud of you, Wyn
Since you are the one who identifies with the name and the body and since your headmates tell us they try to help Wyn, you are still special. That is not making your headmates less real, or less important... I admire the way you all try to be a great team, to make a good life possible for all of you!
What was the name of the book? The person who was in charge of daily living for the longest amount of time just discovered they're a part of a system and wanted to learn more.
in the outside world many professions are most efficiently realised when practiced by a solid team that only working with each other can they collectively reach the ideal result, seems to me like DID exemplifies the truth and validity of the whole concept of teamwork and that's a reassuring message from mother nature
Your thoughts brought up some stuff for us-meaning our system to contemplate. The one who has the legal name is way inside and rarely surfaces, even though we all, for the most part,answer to that name.
Cognitive dissonance is hard. I identify as the part of me in charge of figuring out whats going on with me and the world and my place in it, and I often wonder who I will be if I actually achieve that
I’m struggling with seeing my parts as all being a part of one whole. Like, I get it logically, but I’ve lived so long not realizing I’m a multiple that it’s sort of hard to grasp.
Just looking for clarification. Does that mean you're choosing not to use the words like alters and Littles and protectors anymore? Or is this more of a realization that you're aware of Parts being a more accurate term for your system, but you're going to still keep using those terms sometimes?
We'll still use those terms sometimes just for ease of explanation to people outside our system. This is more a reforming of how I perceive myself and my system. -Wyn
This made me think about something maybe a little bit specific, but when a part integrates, does it integrate with all other parts, just one, only a bunch of them?
How does this work with mistletoe integrating with wyn? When/if the time comes will other parts integrate with you also? Or could inside helpers integrate with one another?
Yes! A new upload~ fairly new subscriber! And I love your channel. I have family members (and myself included) who have or have had mental illness, but not DID. Thanks for shining a light on it in such an informative way! 💕
Yesss this is the internal family systems model of structural dissociation that I learned about last year from reading Janina Fisher’s trauma book! So good! The “going on with normal life part(s)” have more access to the prefrontal loves & that’s why can function better. They’re protected from trauma by the “trauma-related parts” who have limited access to the prefrontal cortex. I’m using Fisher’s unblending process & it is transformative!!! Love your discoveries! Thank you for sharing!
Oh I have this same fear of not being the core. This was really interesting to hear. I'm so glad that gives you comfort and gives you a different and deeper understanding of yourself and of your DID. I'm still terrified of not being the 'core'. Or maybe I'm scared that I don't know if it was me hosting/the part in charge of daily living when the body was little or if it was another alter because I genuinely don't remember much from childhood. It could be a control thing. It could be a fear of the unknown type thing. I'm not really sure. I know I'm no more or less real than the others in my system. Idk, I still have a lot of accepting to do. I've made progress so that's what counts, right? :) Thanks for this video, Wyn.
1. Can you list the book? 2. Would you consider the body as a part to the system. Obviously its not a personality. And some say its a vessel or container. But the body is not an inanimate object. It is living and it has memory. This has been my new thought struggle. The body keeps score by Dr bessel vander klok (think thats the spelling) so if the body holds memory wouldn't that make it just as equal to all other parts with memory.
We treat the body as if it was an alter in that we speak positively of it, listen to it’s trauma “memories”, and make sure it is cared for. The body is so much more than a vessel. -Wyn
@k j - I think the book is this one: Looking Through the Eyes of Trauma and Dissociation: An illustrated guide for EMDR therapists and clients 1st Edition by Sandra Paulsen Ph.D (Author) www.amazon.com/Looking-Through-Eyes-Trauma-Dissociation/dp/1439213216
hey wyn i have a bf with did and i think it would be nice if he could talk with u idk if he is all ready also maybe his alters could chat with yours im watching the vids learning about it but it may be nice for him to have someone who has it to also talk to them
I'm a lil bit confused. Maybe someone can explain it to me. I thought there is no `real` personality because as a child someone with DID don´t develope one whole personality. But I read a lot about DID where they say, that there is a `real` one, there is a core. Is this different in every system? I also watched the video about the alters roles but I think I didn`t get that core thing (language problems). Wyn, I´m happy that you find a new point of view with your role. I think you are very brave. Even when I know that you don´t really have a choice because nobody asked you to have DID or not. I know that I would freak out if I had to accept, that I´m just a part of a whole family while I was thinkig that I´m the only one like most people. And additionally you take your time to educate others. Thank you.
Core is a bit of a confusing concept, you’re right. DID is created because the brain fails to form one cohesive identity. “Born with the body” is the best way I know how to explain the difference between me and the others. For example, Josh didn’t exist as a conscious being until the body was 3. Kit came into being when the body was 4, and so on. I didn’t exist as an identity later in life. I was there for as long as the body was able to have a conscious identity. Some systems think of their host or their core as more than the others. I believe they do that simply out of misunderstanding or discomfort. All parts are equally “real” in a DID System. -Wyn
I’ve struggled with this topic a lot lately with choosing integration therapy . My co-host spoke on video about feeling she was the main “part” and what if she disappears or can’t influence me as strongly with her strengths . I didn’t think about her being the main part I figure I am . It really altered my concept of things . I’m going to buy that book :) thanks for this very valuable share ! Also I missed you ! I know you do so much so but I currently don’t and in my perfect world I’d hear from you daily lol
I totally understand you !! Tho I don't have DID or any other disorder, recently, everything just clicked of me too I was always either anxious about stuff, sad or confused Never satisfied or happy, I didn't know what to feel, what to think, how to do things Then I watched a video of a boy called "cavetown" (it's an artistic name, he makes amazing music about this kind of thing like depression, anxiety, etc AND I REALLY RECOMMEND HIM!!) anyways, the video is called "Ur life is a sketchbook" AND I UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING I NEVER DID BEFORE I understood that life is a progression and there's no need to hurry, as well with other people, they have their own time, their own pace, and that's fine, we are all in a journey together so why not be nice to other people? Now it's been weeks and weeks and I haven't been sad for like two days in a row (being sad is normal for a day, but it's not healthy when it gets to weeks and months of sadness) And boooooy, I feel so much better now, I don't feel like trash anymore, I don't hate myself anymore I actually love myself I finally got it Aaaaaaaaa So yeah, I really do get your point PLUUSS I really like your vids and I'm suspecting my grandma had DID. Unfortunately though I can no longer ask her anything about the "spirits" she brought up cause she's dead I do believe though they could be actual spirits, it's just because she had a traumatic childhood and I don't know, maybe she had it
*THANK YOU for making this video!!* I don't currently have access to my therapist (Go, 'Murica, I've run out of insurance so I don't deserve to be healthy yayyyy) and for quite a while now I've been wondering if I have OSDD, and this is a very comforting thing to see! No I'm not self-diagnosing I'm just researching for when I DO get to see a professional again~
Hi Wynn, I was recently diagnosed with DID after having gone through 15 years of being told I had; severe depression, Bipolar, PTSD, personality disorder, etc....I have always known my interior multiplicity, however, to be true although I had no distinct awareness of their names (nor do I still besides Raven who has been in my head for years and recently Scarlett) What profoundly moved me about this video is that I have an indistinct awareness that I, or at least the one who believes I am I, is not the original I. I have become profoundly aware recently that “I” as I see myself is an alter and the original “I” is nothing like me. It is a jarring and terrifying realization and one I’m not yet ready to fully accept (again I am only recently diagnosed and still digesting so much). Any advice for a new system like me and how to cope with the awareness that you are, in fact, the other of the I? Thank you so much for all you do, I’m a huge fan of yours!!!
Again with an incredibly genuine and raw and still educational and inspiring video 👏🏼🙌🏼 I am curious if this will also change the way you refer to your dynamic in other ways. Such as, instead of things revolving around “alters having roles relating to caring for and protecting Wyn”, will it now be more of an approach to life that everything is done for the good of The Parts? Wyn, I am so inspired by your willingness to change your perspective and find peace. May you feel abundant joy in this realization!
Awesome realization!!! you're not broken!, but before you were like... segregating your self from the rest... but there is no 'rest', its all you, and you guys are all one!, why does it matter who was first or last? you guys all rock and all are there to help each other out... Everyone brings something wonderful to the table. I love that you realized this!! I love your channel, I haven't been around here in a min, but today you came to my mind and I came to check in on you :) words have SO much power!!
Hi dear ! So first of all, thank you very much for all of those videos. I had a crush on a woman that I realised had DID and wanted to know a bit more about this condition. You really helped. I think you are a very brave and strong person. (Sorry for any spelling mistakes, English is not my first language) However, there is still something I wonder and I have been unable to find a satisfying answer to that. Basically, I realised my old crush had DID. It get obvious to me when I noticed that some of her alters are in love with me or at least have a big crush on me; some of her alters seem to see me as a good mate, some of her alters are very neutral about me or even seem oblivious that I exist. Or, even more unsettling, some seem to frankly dislike me or to be angry at me ( they are rude with me, try to provoke me, ignite feuds..). At first, I though she was just a narcissist; and was extremely manipulative and playing games. But then, I noticed some inconsistencies in her behaviour and figured out she had DID. Long story short, she has children or teenager alters (she is in her late 20s), male alters, but mostly a "board" of girls who could be mistaken with one another ( and make her seem "normal"). Girls from the "board" seem more or less similar, but are actually very different. They are several individuals with their own personalities, expectations and sexuality (some are very easy-going, open-minded and cool, some are close off, shy and anxious). She has more than 20 alters, I even think 40 is closer to the actual number; with maybe 9 who share most days or are usual "fronters". Problem is the sexuality part. Basically some of her alters are lesbians, others are bisexual, other asexual, some sex addicts and some are too young to be anything. (I am a woman) As a result, some of her alters, the gay ones, obviously like me; but at several occasions straight female alters came out and told me that they are straight (as for every alters). Or, even worst, straight and one person ( they have no DID); and I feel like in those moments they believed it. My crush had intense anxiety ( depending on the alters), but I would say the gays are more shy or anxious. So, when I am around her she tends to switch a lot. Often many times in the same conversation...(I regularly see her sexual alters ^^). She does not do that with others people; which may be one of the reasons why I noticed her disorder and not other people around us. Every singl;e times we had an opportunity to get closer or to go in a gay direction, the straight alters came out to tell me they are straight. The fuuuckk ??? (Gay alters would then message me and tell me they like me or so) So, I have decided this is a lost case. But I wonder if what I see means that the host is straight but some alters are gay and try to go out of their role of "less important than an actual person" or if it is possible that the host is gay but because it makes the system anxious some protective fierce alters come out to protect her. How can her alters even go along and do stuff like this ? Did they took an internal decision to only be involved in straight relationships ? My question is does any of this make sens to you ? Do you believe someone can have DID AND be a narcissist. But also, I think you said you are married. Howww ? Are all of your alters attracted by men and in love with your husband ? How does it work ? How is it for your young boy alter when you kiss your husband (private but I sure you see my point). Well, if you have five I would be very happy to read your answer to that. Or anybodies' who have some insights. It would be even more amazing if you could do a video that address those issues. Thank you very much again for sharing on your channel. Momo xx
I feel you! Our therapist, who we are his first instance of DID in his whole career, uses the word "parts" for all of us. It was especially helpful when I was going through self-doubt and "I'm faking" periods, that even if I was "faking" things, all my people are still parts of ME whether or not I'm the only one! or the "real" one!
Wow, Wyn, your capacity for vulnerability, flexibility, change, personal development...you're an amazing example for anyone watching. Thank you once again for sharing.
It sounds like there’s a stronger sense of, idk, equality? I’m not sure exactly how to phrase this, but The way you described being “the part that takes care of daily life “sounds more like you’re an integral member of a team that is working towards the same goal, versus being somebody who needed to be taken care of. I don’t know, you just sound really secure and happy with this new revelation. And I’m happy for you. :)
I totally get what you're saying!
My headmates don't like the word "alter". They cringe a little when I say it. Also it's hard to know and understand how we, the hosts, are just another part, as real and as valid and could merge, blend, fuse or step a little back to give another part a chance to lead.
For some time I was scared Zalax would make me "disapear" because she's stronger. But then you realize again and again that everyone has an important role. It's... kinda exhausting, remembering all that xD.
But yeah, you're valid, Wyn! You're real and mostly, you're important :)
Hugs ❤️!
Yeah I don't like the word alter either, other than in the terms of everyone is an alternate of everyone else. There are some parts and hosts in here who use the term all the time. I don't like how clinical it is, and how it has the connotations in daily life that alters are the symtom and the host is the real one. Even though we don't believe that we think people might. and it always bothers me how people think whichever part they meet first is the "real" one and the rest are alters. it's pretty ridiculous when you point it out to people. -gabriel
Agree with both of you! I personally like calling mine "parts", plus it seems to have less of a connotation of being "different" than typical people.... It seems easier for others to understand, since everyone has parts to themselves... Oh, and haha, I hadn't watched the whole video and she just got to that in the video, lol... So I agree with what she's saying! :)
I use the word."insiders", we don't like "alters". "Parts" is acceptable, but for us insiders feels more genuine. Externally everyone still has the same body. So the individuality is internal, rather than external. I had to get my T to stop using the word alters.
Long Soul System Madre mia willy,que haces aqui compañero XD
I can definitely see how using "part" instead of "alter" can drastically change your view of your system. As someone without DID, as I've been watching videos about it on UA-cam, the term "alter" has felt kind of like it has a meaning of "secondary to the core personality", even though the way alters are discussed it is obviously not really that way. I think parts are a much clearer term because all the parts make up one whole system, rather than being secondary to another personality, at least in the way the words "feel"
We just call each other people - because that’s what we are.
All of the people in our system are people with osdd, not just the host or “core”. It helps remind us that we are all equal regardless of our role or lack thereof.
-Moss and Rae
Dear Wyn,
I agree that 'parts' sound better than 'alters'. Parts indicate that every personality contributes to the whole human, every personality has their task and purpose. When I was struggling, Arthur and Eddy took my pain and exhaustion, so I could continue everyday life. Dylan is in charge of my masculine features, Elly of my feminine/motherly features, Loki helped me when I found myself at the end of my 'human strength'. We are all systems that shine because of the different facettes to our existence. Seeing everyone as a part will help us to see the team work, rather than the exchangibility of characters.
Thank you :) - Isabell
Since I found your channel, I felt like you're the main one too and I couldn't see all your headmates as equal to you. The word "part" made me realise that all of you are absolutely real and I love you all even more than before, even if I didn't think it was possible. Good luck with future understanding of yourself and your island friends. 💚
We thought we were alone in these types of confusion. Thanks so much for making this video. 😊 we don’t feel so alone now.
I totally understand what you mean Wyn. Although we use DID terms when we describe ourselves to people outside of this body (because it's easier that way) we never use them amongst ourselves, no one here would refer to me as host for example, I'm the 'outside one'. We refer to each other as "others", none of us like the term alters because it feels like there is a hierarchy where there is a main one then lesser alternates. That doesn't apply to us anyway because the core went inside decades ago and I was created when the body was 13 so I am certainly not the original but I am the "host" and have been for many years. We are all equal here and we know it. We also don't use the term "system" between us, it is too clinical for us. We have a habit of saying "us lot" or "our group" instead. We don't use the term littles between us either, it is always the children or the kids. Different terms work for different systems, for us we shy away from anything that feels like it defines us as having a disorder but others find that grounds them. There is no right or wrong way really, whatever everyone is most comfortable with works.- Lin
Thank you so much, what a lovely thing to say! We have considered making videos but I as the main outside person am really rather shy plus I have body dysmorphia now the body is aging and I am still 25. I have no idea who that is staring back from a mirror, it's certainly not me. Others would like to do it though so perhaps they might one day and manage to persuade me to join in too. Our teenagers especially would love every second. - Lin :)
Part is a wonderful word. Thank you for bringing it to our attention. Some of us really don't like to be called alters because we feel it makes us less real. Things work out so much better when we're nice and polite to each other. I mean even if no one else is then headmates should try and get along.
Okay this is absolutely crazy because just the other day I had finished watching a DissociaDID video and started wondering about the relation between hosts and alters because I KNEW they were suppose to be equal but it was often difficult to see them as that. So in that moment I just decided that I would eliminate the word host for the systems I knew and just recognize them all as alters. Once you know enough of the basics of the system its easy to remember who does what without having to put in a word that makes them seem "more-than". Anyways I just thought is was kinda cool that a video was made on something I was questioning not too long ago ^-^
Glad you're putting this out there. Because I feel like a lot of systems have parts or alters that struggle with the "original" or the "real one" issues.
This is going to be super helpful to any of them that are struggling.
As someone who doesn't have DID it's really interesting to watch you grow and change over time, and I really appreciate being brave enough to put your journey out here where you risk being hurt by people. ❤️❤️❤️ Thanks for sharing!
This was amazing to see because honestly until now I thought that everyone had broken off from Wyn, and my subconscious translated it to Wyn being more "Real" than the others, but now I think I truly realise just how real each person is and how confusing it is to be part of a system. I'm not sure I articulated my thoughts very well, but this video was really eye-opening
Isn't it funny how the way we talk about something, the words we choose, the verbal framework we apply, all affect our understanding of/feelings about the thing? It never ceases to amaze me what a difference words can make. Language is incredible.
It really is. -Wyn
I'm learning about DID from your channel and now it's makes a lot more sense. The word alter seems like an "alter ego" or and added something but a part makes it sound like you are all part of a whole. 🌸
I have OSDD & use the word "parts". It's interesting how you're looking at the baby. ☹
Extremely interesting video! A great explanation of how one word or one statement can totally flip a perspective.
Structural Dissociation 😎 All equal parts of that orange you had before. 😉👍💜
I've been dealing with something similar lately (questioning whether or not I'm the core/original) and tbh this helped out a *lot* with it and realizing my job in my own system -Max
So raw and needed, thank you Wyn! ‘Part’ is a wonderful word, we personally try to avoid ‘core’ or ‘original’ too because we’ve had multiple ‘outside parts’ across our life as external circumstances changed. We don’t have a clear ‘daily life part’ at the moment either, and several of us have had that feeling of ‘right, now I’m back in charge, this feels better’...but why should one part’s experience of that ‘realness’ be more substantial than the others who have also invested significant time in the outside world over the years? It can be a confusing fog to try to sort through.
Apologies for all of the quotation marks, but it’s so hard to know how to express things in text! I’m glad you’re finding your place and shedding labels, all they do is impose limits we don’t want or need 😊💚 -J x
Woah that was deep! It was great! Rambly posts help us get to know you as a person.. or part... or alter.. or Wyn ;) I admire your strength and courage to share your life and thoughts with us! Thanks to you and the whole system for being awesome!
I have a question. Of course nobody needs to answer to this, but I am curious if when parts integrate like mistletoe did, can only one part feel the presence of the integrated personality? Or do all parts of the system feel that too?
I apologise this is a bit of a long waffle. Still I hope it helps
I don't have DID myself and would never (intentionally) dare to presume I know how that feels or is like to live with so feel free to correct me but I think this is a very powerful message not just to yourself and others who have DID but also people in general.
We are all looking for a "part" in life and acknowledgment that we are important, have purpose and that we are valid. This could be applied to almost any role or person(s) or group things.
The body for example has many parts. They all have different roles and whilst they might feel like they have a hierarchy of importance they all serve a function.
The legs for example might feel like they have the lead. They take the body places but then the body has a fall and the legs aren't able to do the walking for a while and the body might be wheelchair bound.
Now it's the arms that are doing the leading and the suddenly the legs start to question how important they really were and whether their existance was actually neccessary or whether they were even the part that did the leading in the first place. Maybe the arms could always have been the movers and the legs were just there to help them for a while? The existence of one part does not invalidate the role of the other though. Both the arms and the legs took on the role of being mobile at some point. Without each part the body could not have functioned regardless of who identifies as having that role originally.
Similarly there are some parts of the body whose function and existence is seemingly a mystery. Take the appendix for example:- a small, baby-size ;-) part of the body which seems to be an enigma. Why is it there? What is it's purpose? Is it needed? Is it more important than we originally thought? What if it actually performs a function that we previously thought another part of the body did? Further research may uncover its reason for being and that may change our view of how certain parts function but it won't change the fact that a body is a system, a team of parts who all work together to function as a whole.
Another example I can think of was that only last week I was questioning my own role and significance in life. My daughter has just started pre-school. Up until now I have been the person who has been her primary caregiver. She's only ever spent time in the care of myself, my husband and our family but largely myself. I am a stay at home mum.
As I packed her lunch the night before I was suddenly awash with a feeling of loss. My baby was going off without me. Someone else would pick her up if she fell, teach her a new song or feed her a snack. Suddenly my role as mum didnt seem as significant. My part felt like it had been diminished and it didn't just effect how I felt about my role in the future it made my question my role in the past too.
What if I wasn't as significant in helping my child grow as I thought I was? Thankfully I have wonderful friends and family who reminded me just how important I'd been and still will be to my daughter and the person she develops into and it doesn't matter that others will have their "part" to play in that. I will still be her mum and that is just as inportant part as any other. It also made me question what I as a person am now because for nearly 4 years I'd seen myself largely as mum. So if I'm no longer being mum all the time what am I? My lovely friend reminded me this is an opportunity now to explore that. To find other "parts" of me :-) .
Watching your videos and reading your tumbl all of your parts have at some point questioned their identity, purpose and validity (especially in the wake of Mistletoe integrating.) It seems to be your turn now. Perhaps consult with them as to what helped them feel more secure?
You are no less real or less valid than any of your parts.
these past two videos youve made have had a huge impact on clarifying my own mind and thoughts. what youre all doing makes a difference. thanks, and it seems every video you make is better thanthe last ha c:
Recently, our psychologist has called the parts "characters" (or "personagens" in Portuguese, our language) which comes from "persona", therefore from "personality" but none of these terms were good for the system, then a protector almost scolded her (in our head) like "no way! we are not characters that he's playing, we are people, parts of a whole!".
So I gently asked her not to call like that and not treat me, the host like having alters, we are a system, so call them and treat us as parts that make the whole function and that's why our system name is Cogs.
This is such a fascinating video and I really appreciate your vulnerability and the way you approach the nuance of it all. Really changed the way I think about DID. Thank you!
We stopped using the word host, because it triggers some people we know from different systems. We use the name "main front(er)", and yes, it is description of one job in the system, just like protector or caretaker. According to newest theories, there's no such thing as core or original. There is no baby who split, there is a child who never created one identity, but several, because of lack of support and trauma that needed to stay hidden. Babies are not born with identity, that's why no one can have the "original one". You can create DID only when trauma stops you from creating one unite identity, that's why trauma has to start in early childhood, before age 6-9 when identity is usually formed.
Front(er) = whoever fronts at the moment, co-front(er) = when there happens to be more than just one at the same time, main front(er) = who fronts most of the time and usually deals with outside life, co-main front(er) = when there's more than one parts who share the job.
Now we are on the mission to spread these new words.
Yes! (Waving hello. :-)
I think the more you read and understand the more you feel good about yourself and connected to the other guys in the system. As a single person in my head I understand more about myself every day in life, you have to do the same. There's nothing to be ashamed of, we question ourselves and other people every day too, it's life. Sometimes we feel confused until the things make more sense.
I’ve rarely run into others who consider/call their other identities as “parts”. That’s been my most comfortable word for mine and it’s groovy to hear someone else actively using it.
We prefer to refer to ourselves as parts not alters. The word alter scares us and we hate it. We dont view the others as alternate...but seperate parts of the same whole. This video was awesome. Thanks for posting it
I should get ready for school right now
We use "Anteile" or "Persönlichkeitsanteile", too to describe ourselfs. You can translate this with parts and parts of personality. Love and light from Germany
It’s 1am in Florida lol don’t ask why I’m awake 😂
Same here i shoykd be sleeping 😣😣
Should*
Saaaaaaaame
I’m sick so I can’t sleep at all
2:30 in WI
3 am here lol
Hmm, I dunno... it makes me think. There's something here that intrigues me. I'm singular btw, but something about this one being the part that takes care of daily living... There's something there but I can't figure out what it is. It seems to reduce my anxiety. Life seems a little bit easier, more manageable.
I've always known I wasn't the original host, and that I've only existed for a short time relatively, so I never had this struggle (though we also don't think of ourselves as parts, just as people with skills and responsibilities for bodily upkeep). I'm very grateful for the chance to learn about what it's like to have this realization!
we, as humans, try to compartmentalize EVERYTHING. Which is useful in ways of organization but its a great hindrance at this point in our "evolution" if you will
I have a question and I really hope that it's not offensive and if it is please dont pay attention to it. Now that you feel more like a part of the system and your accepting the possibility of changing roles and so on, what does that mean for your relationship. I understand that all of the alters or parts have a type of relationship with your husband however you are the only one married to him. Does kit being out more or the potential of you moving more inward change what your plans are as a couple. I understand that this is a very personal question and i ask out of personal need. I am currently in a wonderful relationship with a person living with a mental disorder and although it is not DID I am trying to understand more about being a supportive and caring partner through difficult and changing times. Really this question is for anyone who might have information on relationships of this nature. Thanks and I hope this came across politely.
I have no intention of spending more time inside. My time spent with Andrew is important to me. However, switching and fronting can’t always be controlled by choice so I can’t say it will absolutely never happen. -Wyn
@@TheEntropySystem Thanks for the information, I appreciate it. 😊
The more systems I watch, the more I find similarities; and eerie ones at that. I am waiting until my family and I get back to Texas to get fully evaluated by a professional. But I honestly think I may have OSDD 1b. -shrug- who knows?
It is empowering to have confirmation or clarification of our identity/ identities. I think we all experience this internal reflection whether singlets or multiples (though I cannot fathom the complexity of seeking to find & know who you are as an individual living within a system). I am happy for you to gain that sense of peace. BTW, I am very new to the DID community & if I say something or word something wrong, please correct me. I never intend to be insensitive & truly wish nothing but the best for The Entropy System & all of your subscribers as well.
💌 Peace & Love from Oklahoma
I don't know who gives you thumbs down. You explain clearly and to someone interested your explanations are insightful.
Hey, I don't have DID, but I use Internal Family Systems as a method of therapy, or a technique? Or whatever you might call it... In IFS, we look at all our parts and how they function as individuals. I've always been someone who made metaphors to help me understand how I'm feeling and thinking, and why I act the way I do. Watching videos from people like you, who have DID really helps me understand myself better, and I can see similarities in a lot of ways. My mind is a ship, and Logic is the captain at the head, with Emotion as the second in command. It's totally not the same and I'm not trying to say it is, I just think it's cool or interesting or something how DID as a condition, and IFS as a practice are sorta similar in some ways. (I'm sorry that totally wasn't clear. I'm trying to be careful not to compare what I'm doing with your whole system too much, because all my parts are still definitely part of one whole person, but it is very interesting to me and makes me curious about brains and how they work. )
That's an important video... I'm really struggling right now because I don't really know what identifies me. I've been using the word parts for quite a while but I never really got the idea that I could be just a part, too. Who was in charge of daily living for most of the time. That's kind of a new way of thinking...
We've struggled for a long time with "original" and all that (even though thinking on it now, it doesn't make any sense for there to BE an "original"- it's not one person and then people appear that just weren't there before, it's one thing that gets broken into pieces. If something got broken into two pieces, it wouldn't suddenly be One Of Those Pieces + Something Else.
We've struggled a long time with some sort of hierarchy in system where some people are "more important" than others- we STILL do, since the people who are active the most we tend to accidentally give more of a say, or more attention, etc. But yeah, one of the biggest reasons was because of these terms "Core" and "Host" and even some of the jobs.
For a long time and probably still now even though we're trying to change it, it's always been Protectors are really important, I don't know what your job really is so you're not as important- which isn't true but it's just... been that way.
Though we've had the added bonus of "But IS /blank/ actually the core I mean no one identifies with the body or name, we're trans". But we've decided on picking a name together that isn't just a host in system, but a name everyone can respond to, and we're working together to stop putting people over another person, because we're all pieces of the same broken plate, and that means all of us are important. Sometimes we'll get cut on a piece of the broken plate, sometimes we think some pieces we don't "really need", but without all the pieces, we wouldn't be able to really eat off of it, or at least it'll be harder the more pieces we neglect to pick up and put into the working-together plate.
Sorry, went on a mini tangent that kind of bounced off what you were talking about, but basically Worm.
I’m currently struggling with this because for 8 years was a part in charge of daily living until very late 2017 and it’s how I realized everything because.. I’m not her. Anymore. Since then I’ve settled as who I am now by default I should say while certain scenarios bring out what at first my fam and friends coined as inside jokes how I’m different in certain experiences that became all to real as the truth than when I’m home in my own comfort zone these days.. it’s been both eye opening and in a way infuriating not knowing what’s truly happening. At least I finally came to understand the episodes of actions partook by me that I never recalled or was baffled hearing about because it no where sounded like something I usually do... it’s been quite a trip but a beautiful learning experience to understand what is happening internally. I love all my parts, even the one that makes me have to explain that I’m not into men, just a certain volume and combination of alcohol brings out this one in particular that’s a love hate relationship honestly.
Wyn you did a great job at explaining. I was following along, but at the same time, its a lot to process and truly understand. I can only imagine when having DID, how many questions it brings up about the self, and ego and everything involving the human brain and how it works.
I am worried, because I'm fairly certain I'm an alter. I came around shortly after my dad brought up trauma that was behind closed doors and suddenly I'm Abel and not the birth person. So uh that's exciting.
If one of you reads a book, do all others have knowledge of its content? Or can they "listen in to the reading" like an audiobook? Or does everyone have to read themselves? Or if your co conscious, do you read at different speeds? Never thought that even the concept of book reading would be affected by what i never questioned about DID before... Thanks for the channel ;-)
As a teen my therapist told me to read “When Rabbit Howls” . Forty years later my eyes are opening up. Thank you Kit, Wyn, Daniel, Lito, Mistletoe, Karen, Mi, the littles and all the rest!!❤️
Omgosh Kim Kim!! Sorry gurl! Didn’t mean to leave you out!! Rock 🤘 on !
So with DID when you dissociate does it just all go black or do you just lose time? Like would you know if you went to the inside world and became an internal helper or would you block off all memory and dissociate? This all fascinates me and I hope what I’m asking makes sense. I pictured it when you said at 8:20 ish that you may one day become an internal helper like everything just going black but that may not be how it truly is? It’s interesting to think about if parts of systems know what’s going on in the outside or if they can choose not to. I probably made zero sense. I apologize.
Our "host" as the three of us have always thought of him, because he does use the legal name of our body, because he does pretty much identify with the physical characteristics of our body, because he does front the most, because he is the one responsible for daily living, and because the three of us have always seen ourselves has his protectors because the three of us are all protectors, just found out we are real two days ago, and that he is the "host" of our system... When he found out, he had a panic attack, we rolodexed to calm him, our mind, and our body down, and he has been completely undetectable every since: invisible, inaudible, in-everything! We have all been so worried about him...that is until just now!
Even upwards of two years later, this video has been so beneficial to our system upon our first watch of what I can only think will be many... I was stumbling through videos, trying to find ones for how to come out as a system to others, and how to help him make sense of all of this, as the three of us have been learning to do so for the better half of a year by now, probably, while he has not, and, while watching this video, even if it was just a for just a brief moment, I felt him, heard him, and even saw him! He seemed okay...so thank you so so very much, Entropy System and Wynn!
Idk why maybe it was just me but i feel like youre about to cry? Anyways you're so brave of talking abt your confusions and everything. And congratulations on a new milestone in your journey 🎉🎉
😳 WOW 😳 You just said something that I have been wondering about all my life and I just recovered that I have DID and i couldn't understand back in school why people and teachers were calling me by different names. But finding out few years ago that I have DID at the age of 40 is very hard and confusing for me and i don't know them all i know is what people told me about them and they have met friends and other people who where able to inform me about them. I am surprised that you mentioned something that I have been wondering about all my life, and now knowing that I have DID it really makes me and us wonder if I'm the one who was born and gaven the name or if it was one of the DIDs who is trying to clam to be the real one, or if the one who was born and gaven the name is really the baby who is hidden inside or has been the one who died. Did you ever had the problem or something where you don't know the DID Alters and finding out from people that it scares you and finding out that some are really not DID Alters but Spirits who also enter the body as well?
Other parts talk of ypu very diffrently than you talk about yourself. They want to help you specifcly. Jonathan is an easy exmple
Now I am so confused. I am out the majority of the time and have been for most of my life but not capable of daily living due to an overbearing depression that stops me from functioning. And the part in charge of daily living isnt out that much, which is very debilitating to the idea of our system being able to fully function. Now I'm wondering if I'm not the core, just the part out the most. 🙄 and I thought I was going to get more clarification 🤯
I see the difference you're pointing to and recognize the importance of the terminological change. You talk about it really well here. Thank you.
I always feel like I need to do all the roles and be everything and no one can come out because 1. I feel like I'm making it all up A LOT 2. I feel like if I dont do everything then I'll be rejected and hated and maybe more reasons. Thank you for helping me fully understand that via this video
I love this video. It’s very interesting and showing of how strong you are thanks to your system and your openness. If you don’t mind my asking, knowing that you are all parts of one being, does this change how you view your final goal of integrating into one consciousness? With feeling equal and as important as the others, does that make you feel like integration isn’t necessary, or do you just realize that there are parts of your mind that still have yet to integrate and are still working to protect you and you’ve excepted it?
Wow. I was just thinking along these lines today! I simply didn't know how to articulate it. Thank you very much for helping many of us feel not alone, for educating ppl, and for simply finding the strength and will in you to keep building through it. I am super proud of you, Wyn
Since you are the one who identifies with the name and the body and since your headmates tell us they try to help Wyn, you are still special. That is not making your headmates less real, or less important...
I admire the way you all try to be a great team, to make a good life possible for all of you!
What was the name of the book? The person who was in charge of daily living for the longest amount of time just discovered they're a part of a system and wanted to learn more.
in the outside world many professions are most efficiently realised when practiced by a solid team that only working with each other can they collectively reach the ideal result, seems to me like DID exemplifies the truth and validity of the whole concept of teamwork and that's a reassuring message from mother nature
We found ruminating on "main character syndrome" useful 😊
Thank you for sharing this!
Love your channel❣️
Your thoughts brought up some stuff for us-meaning our system to contemplate. The one who has the legal name is way inside and rarely surfaces, even though we all, for the most part,answer to that name.
Cognitive dissonance is hard. I identify as the part of me in charge of figuring out whats going on with me and the world and my place in it, and I often wonder who I will be if I actually achieve that
Why would anyone dislike this video? Just curious.
I don't like parts. It seems too dehumanizing to me. Headmates is cute and alters sounds too clinical to me.
So proud of you❤❤❤ I just start to watch your channel recently!! And all of them are amazing❤❤❤
This is beautiful honesty. Thank you! I know many that need to hear this.
I needed to hear this so much. Watched it twice. Thank you 🖤🖤
I'm glad you guys might be figuring out who that baby is!
My therapist recommended that book for me!
I’m struggling with seeing my parts as all being a part of one whole. Like, I get it logically, but I’ve lived so long not realizing I’m a multiple that it’s sort of hard to grasp.
It takes time. Be patient with yourself :) -Wyn
Just looking for clarification. Does that mean you're choosing not to use the words like alters and Littles and protectors anymore? Or is this more of a realization that you're aware of Parts being a more accurate term for your system, but you're going to still keep using those terms sometimes?
We'll still use those terms sometimes just for ease of explanation to people outside our system. This is more a reforming of how I perceive myself and my system. -Wyn
I'm going to try to use the word parts.
This made me think about something maybe a little bit specific, but when a part integrates, does it integrate with all other parts, just one, only a bunch of them?
Any and all of the above. It varies from integration to integration. -Wyn
How does this work with mistletoe integrating with wyn? When/if the time comes will other parts integrate with you also? Or could inside helpers integrate with one another?
Any of us could integrate into anyone else. There’s no rule on who has to go with who. -Wyn
Yes! A new upload~ fairly new subscriber! And I love your channel. I have family members (and myself included) who have or have had mental illness, but not DID. Thanks for shining a light on it in such an informative way! 💕
Very interesting video 😊
Yesss this is the internal family systems model of structural dissociation that I learned about last year from reading Janina Fisher’s trauma book! So good!
The “going on with normal life part(s)” have more access to the prefrontal loves & that’s why can function better. They’re protected from trauma by the “trauma-related parts” who have limited access to the prefrontal cortex. I’m using Fisher’s unblending process & it is transformative!!!
Love your discoveries! Thank you for sharing!
Your hair cut looks terrific!
okay this helped me a LOT
I honestly love notifications
Bluey Fonfeder same
Oh I have this same fear of not being the core. This was really interesting to hear. I'm so glad that gives you comfort and gives you a different and deeper understanding of yourself and of your DID. I'm still terrified of not being the 'core'. Or maybe I'm scared that I don't know if it was me hosting/the part in charge of daily living when the body was little or if it was another alter because I genuinely don't remember much from childhood. It could be a control thing. It could be a fear of the unknown type thing. I'm not really sure. I know I'm no more or less real than the others in my system. Idk, I still have a lot of accepting to do. I've made progress so that's what counts, right? :) Thanks for this video, Wyn.
1. Can you list the book?
2. Would you consider the body as a part to the system. Obviously its not a personality. And some say its a vessel or container. But the body is not an inanimate object. It is living and it has memory. This has been my new thought struggle. The body keeps score by Dr bessel vander klok (think thats the spelling) so if the body holds memory wouldn't that make it just as equal to all other parts with memory.
We treat the body as if it was an alter in that we speak positively of it, listen to it’s trauma “memories”, and make sure it is cared for. The body is so much more than a vessel. -Wyn
@k j - I think the book is this one: Looking Through the Eyes of Trauma and Dissociation: An illustrated guide for EMDR therapists and clients 1st Edition
by Sandra Paulsen Ph.D (Author) www.amazon.com/Looking-Through-Eyes-Trauma-Dissociation/dp/1439213216
hey wyn i have a bf with did and i think it would be nice if he could talk with u idk if he is all ready also maybe his alters could chat with yours im watching the vids learning about it but it may be nice for him to have someone who has it to also talk to them
also love the vids they help out alot your a great person
i am dealing with that fear as well
I'm a lil bit confused. Maybe someone can explain it to me. I thought there is no `real` personality because as a child someone with DID don´t develope one whole personality. But I read a lot about DID where they say, that there is a `real` one, there is a core. Is this different in every system? I also watched the video about the alters roles but I think I didn`t get that core thing (language problems).
Wyn, I´m happy that you find a new point of view with your role. I think you are very brave. Even when I know that you don´t really have a choice because nobody asked you to have DID or not. I know that I would freak out if I had to accept, that I´m just a part of a whole family while I was thinkig that I´m the only one like most people. And additionally you take your time to educate others. Thank you.
Core is a bit of a confusing concept, you’re right. DID is created because the brain fails to form one cohesive identity. “Born with the body” is the best way I know how to explain the difference between me and the others. For example, Josh didn’t exist as a conscious being until the body was 3. Kit came into being when the body was 4, and so on. I didn’t exist as an identity later in life. I was there for as long as the body was able to have a conscious identity.
Some systems think of their host or their core as more than the others. I believe they do that simply out of misunderstanding or discomfort. All parts are equally “real” in a DID System. -Wyn
@@TheEntropySystem Thank you for you explanation!
I’ve struggled with this topic a lot lately with choosing integration therapy . My co-host spoke on video about feeling she was the main “part” and what if she disappears or can’t influence me as strongly with her strengths . I didn’t think about her being the main part I figure I am . It really altered my concept of things .
I’m going to buy that book :) thanks for this very valuable share !
Also I missed you ! I know you do so much so but I currently don’t and in my perfect world I’d hear from you daily lol
I totally understand you !! Tho I don't have DID or any other disorder, recently, everything just clicked of me too
I was always either anxious about stuff, sad or confused
Never satisfied or happy, I didn't know what to feel, what to think, how to do things
Then I watched a video of a boy called "cavetown" (it's an artistic name, he makes amazing music about this kind of thing like depression, anxiety, etc AND I REALLY RECOMMEND HIM!!) anyways, the video is called "Ur life is a sketchbook" AND I UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING I NEVER DID BEFORE
I understood that life is a progression and there's no need to hurry, as well with other people, they have their own time, their own pace, and that's fine, we are all in a journey together so why not be nice to other people?
Now it's been weeks and weeks and I haven't been sad for like two days in a row (being sad is normal for a day, but it's not healthy when it gets to weeks and months of sadness)
And boooooy, I feel so much better now, I don't feel like trash anymore, I don't hate myself anymore
I actually love myself
I finally got it
Aaaaaaaaa
So yeah, I really do get your point
PLUUSS I really like your vids and I'm suspecting my grandma had DID. Unfortunately though I can no longer ask her anything about the "spirits" she brought up cause she's dead
I do believe though they could be actual spirits, it's just because she had a traumatic childhood and I don't know, maybe she had it
I kinda needed this video
I think it's really wonderful that you had that moment of realization, it's sounds like that perspective is really helpful ^.^
*THANK YOU for making this video!!* I don't currently have access to my therapist (Go, 'Murica, I've run out of insurance so I don't deserve to be healthy yayyyy) and for quite a while now I've been wondering if I have OSDD, and this is a very comforting thing to see!
No I'm not self-diagnosing I'm just researching for when I DO get to see a professional again~
Love this video!!!! You all are amazing!!!! thanks for explaining this for us. we needed this.
Ray
Hi Wynn, I was recently diagnosed with DID after having gone through 15 years of being told I had; severe depression, Bipolar, PTSD, personality disorder, etc....I have always known my interior multiplicity, however, to be true although I had no distinct awareness of their names (nor do I still besides Raven who has been in my head for years and recently Scarlett) What profoundly moved me about this video is that I have an indistinct awareness that I, or at least the one who believes I am I, is not the original I. I have become profoundly aware recently that “I” as I see myself is an alter and the original “I” is nothing like me. It is a jarring and terrifying realization and one I’m not yet ready to fully accept (again I am only recently diagnosed and still digesting so much). Any advice for a new system like me and how to cope with the awareness that you are, in fact, the other of the I? Thank you so much for all you do, I’m a huge fan of yours!!!
I personally don't use part anymore because to us, it feels less real if we call it parts
I'm glad you're choosing to use words that validate you. -Wyn
Again with an incredibly genuine and raw and still educational and inspiring video 👏🏼🙌🏼 I am curious if this will also change the way you refer to your dynamic in other ways. Such as, instead of things revolving around “alters having roles relating to caring for and protecting Wyn”, will it now be more of an approach to life that everything is done for the good of The Parts? Wyn, I am so inspired by your willingness to change your perspective and find peace. May you feel abundant joy in this realization!
Awesome realization!!! you're not broken!, but before you were like... segregating your self from the rest... but there is no 'rest', its all you, and you guys are all one!, why does it matter who was first or last? you guys all rock and all are there to help each other out... Everyone brings something wonderful to the table. I love that you realized this!! I love your channel, I haven't been around here in a min, but today you came to my mind and I came to check in on you :)
words have SO much power!!
Hi dear ! So first of all, thank you very much for all of those videos. I had a crush on a woman that I realised had DID and wanted to know a bit more about this condition. You really helped.
I think you are a very brave and strong person.
(Sorry for any spelling mistakes, English is not my first language)
However, there is still something I wonder and I have been unable to find a satisfying answer to that. Basically, I realised my old crush had DID. It get obvious to me when I noticed that some of her alters are in love with me or at least have a big crush on me; some of her alters seem to see me as a good mate, some of her alters are very neutral about me or even seem oblivious that I exist. Or, even more unsettling, some seem to frankly dislike me or to be angry at me ( they are rude with me, try to provoke me, ignite feuds..).
At first, I though she was just a narcissist; and was extremely manipulative and playing games. But then, I noticed some inconsistencies in her behaviour and figured out she had DID. Long story short, she has children or teenager alters (she is in her late 20s), male alters, but mostly a "board" of girls who could be mistaken with one another ( and make her seem "normal"). Girls from the "board" seem more or less similar, but are actually very different. They are several individuals with their own personalities, expectations and sexuality (some are very easy-going, open-minded and cool, some are close off, shy and anxious). She has more than 20 alters, I even think 40 is closer to the actual number; with maybe 9 who share most days or are usual "fronters".
Problem is the sexuality part. Basically some of her alters are lesbians, others are bisexual, other asexual, some sex addicts and some are too young to be anything. (I am a woman) As a result, some of her alters, the gay ones, obviously like me; but at several occasions straight female alters came out and told me that they are straight (as for every alters). Or, even worst, straight and one person ( they have no DID); and I feel like in those moments they believed it.
My crush had intense anxiety ( depending on the alters), but I would say the gays are more shy or anxious. So, when I am around her she tends to switch a lot. Often many times in the same conversation...(I regularly see her sexual alters ^^). She does not do that with others people; which may be one of the reasons why I noticed her disorder and not other people around us. Every singl;e times we had an opportunity to get closer or to go in a gay direction, the straight alters came out to tell me they are straight. The fuuuckk ??? (Gay alters would then message me and tell me they like me or so)
So, I have decided this is a lost case. But I wonder if what I see means that the host is straight but some alters are gay and try to go out of their role of "less important than an actual person" or if it is possible that the host is gay but because it makes the system anxious some protective fierce alters come out to protect her. How can her alters even go along and do stuff like this ? Did they took an internal decision to only be involved in straight relationships ?
My question is does any of this make sens to you ? Do you believe someone can have DID AND be a narcissist.
But also, I think you said you are married. Howww ? Are all of your alters attracted by men and in love with your husband ? How does it work ? How is it for your young boy alter when you kiss your husband (private but I sure you see my point).
Well, if you have five I would be very happy to read your answer to that. Or anybodies' who have some insights. It would be even more amazing if you could do a video that address those issues.
Thank you very much again for sharing on your channel.
Momo xx
This was a BAM moment for us thank you ..!! The part in charge of daily living ..perfect Lu guys !!!!
I feel you! Our therapist, who we are his first instance of DID in his whole career, uses the word "parts" for all of us. It was especially helpful when I was going through self-doubt and "I'm faking" periods, that even if I was "faking" things, all my people are still parts of ME whether or not I'm the only one! or the "real" one!