Not Liking One's Looks
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- Опубліковано 3 лис 2015
- Many of us inhabit bodies and faces that don’t look as we feel they should. It’s one of the most painful aspects of being human. Here are a few minutes of consolation and wisdom.
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FURTHER READING
“Frustration with one’s appearance is an embarrassing - but, in truth, highly serious and valid - pain. Mature, reasonable people are not supposed to go around regretting their nose or hair. Yet you gaze in the bathroom mirror and think: why - in my brief existence on this planet - does that have to be me?...”
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I know it sounds cheesy, but I find that once you fall in love with someone's personality, you start to see the beauty in their appearance as well. People whom you never thought of as attractive will start to look better and better. Of course this works the other way around too, sometimes "beautiful" people are anything but.
This is too true. First hand experience.
Lisa Zoria The other way around in psychology is called the "halo effect" the Idea suggests that we view beautiful people having positive personality traits even if there is no evidence to support it. Remember that when you find someone attractive.
Same
Lisa Zoria Bullshit.
this is so true, I used to love this person very much, everyone told me it was ridiculous of me to find him a beautiful man, which I definitely did, because objectively he's short, a little fat, wore glasses and his face full of acnes.
My mirror said I'm good looking, but my camera doesn't agree.
Mirrors produce very quality images unlike cameras which produces images through a series of tiny boxes called pixels. Tradition film cameras are good though.
In mirrors, you can constantly adjust your position and expressions to make yourself look better. That is why we look like hammered shit on camera.
Harun Suaidi same
It's phone cameras! It has to do with the aperture. You can google it to know more. It distorts your face.
Mirrors invert your face and your face in cameras is how other people see you
I don't think I'll ever feel good about how I look. But I am slowly learning to not care.
From what I can tell from your profile pic you look beautiful. I don't think you have anything to worry about 👍🤩
Girl with the Wings I feel the same way
I am doing the same.
Ur not that ugly com'n!
Are you tho?
I grew up with two good extremely good looking parents and i have 2 good looking brothers and 1 beautiful sister. I on the other hand was just the "smart one." I remember growing up and people being shocked that i was related to my family. i used to get "what happened to you" or my favorite "are you adopted" when people compared me to my family (extended family included). It made me just not want to be around them and i still kind of don't. but one good thing did come out of it. i became an artist, musician, and photographer. I may not have anything that anyone can call beautiful or attractive but i do know how to shoot models/people/subjects very well and i can make them look beautiful. If i can't be beautiful myself at least i can make others look beautiful.
i think you're beautiful
Don't you dare be so harsh!
Because you are beautiful
that's a wonderful thing!
Same here and good for you man, you did'nt let it affect your life... I'm still dealing with it . The worst thing in my case is a little part of me resents my family and they are the nicest people and i love them , its just hard to be around them.
My brother always insists that I meet his girlfriend and i think to myself he's just doing this to torment me but I know that he just hates seeing me being cooped up in my room but just seeing that girl's picture makes me want to strangle him.
Fuck , this was like therapy .
Thank's man i'm a little inspired by your comment and i'll try and focus on something i can achieve .
I'm not ugly.
I'm unaesthetically pleasing
+GladX I don't know why but this is the funniest thing i read this week
GladX 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I know what u mean. Me too.
Omg im dyinggggg
lmao same
Am I the only one who avoids looking in the mirror when taking off their clothes in the shower because they're ashamed of how they look naked?
Send pics for research? : D
why did you use 'they' to refer to yourself?
Who told you, you should feel that way? Think about it, then ask yourself if their opinion is valid, because trust me, you weren't born feeling bad about yourself, someone taught you to feel that way.
No...You're not :)
80386, because he is putting himself into a group of people who do that too.
I have fraternal twin nieces in their late teens. One could be a model and the other is quite plain. Truly a genetic lottery. It's quite sad for me to see how people treat them differently (not just in their love life) and how it shapes their personality and outlook. Of course the pretty one has a sunny, positive disposition while the plain one is reserved and can be sullen. I find it a little galling when people say it's all about how you feel inside, your confidence and positivity, etc. without taking into account how many times one might have been slighted/ignored/dismissed. At least, let's be honest about a huge societal bias that exists and not tell someone it can all be solved by sitting up straight.
Thank you, well said
+Adrian Wong Yeah it's easy to be happy and friendly when you're happy with the way you look. I suspect people want to believe it's all about positive attitude because it makes them feel in control of their lives.
You're right, but I think in later adult life we become mature enough to see outside of our earlier hormonal and shallow impulses. Anything before the teenage years is brutal, I think we can all agree lol.
So we emotionally mature, and our idea of beauty is not as narrow minder. Some sooner, some see this later, but it is so true that people really do radiate from the inside and it's the beautiful personalities that shine the most to us. Those are the most memorable people because they impact us.
The cons to being attractive is that people are actually kinder to them and they can get a lot of opportunities based on their looks that ends up deterring from any real personality work.
So the pros to being unconventionally pretty is that you are forced sooner than others to dig deep, struggle, overcome, and grow.
At least generally speaking.
Adrian Wong like i said, to me, there's no such thing as the genetic lottery. It's just a made up foolish game that could break everyone's heart.
L Arcturus "You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely." -Roald Dahl
dont worry, your crush's pet horse finds you pretty
lol
Disillusioned Daughter 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
That reminds me of that Rachel Bloom video called something like I take popular people's pets
but thats forbidden love!
Don't worry, your crush's dad's tools, especially his hammers and his sickles finds you good-looking.
Or you could just change your avatar to an anime picture.
Tom how dare you😭😂😂😂😂
Tom lol
Tom ouch
Tom sad
Or a Shrek profile picture.
Oh wait..
now i feel even worse...
I almost can't tell if I feel better or worse. Like, yeah everyone should care less about appearance but on the flip-side we're all going to get old anyway. Which is also sort of not fun to think about. Whoops.
if thats you in your pic u have nothing to worry about
basementkid Well thank you!
That's the thing, this video sucks at telling you what you need to hear: Beauty is relative. The video only briefly, and ineptly, touches upon this with the whole, "Looking for a mate that reminds you of your weird ugly parents.", (facepalm) *le sigh*. It's more that beauty is a perception constructed by both genetics and psychology.
OK, let me explain. First, what we think of as the most beautiful traits are the traits that tended to make the largest impressions on us in childhood. Usually that would be our mothers or fathers.
Second, other then twins and clones, no one has the same DNA, and what that means is that we are all looking for different traits to randomize and enhance our genetic structure. The right Chemistry, as they call it. Just like in Chemistry, love needs the right mixture of elements, and each mixture needs a different set.
tl;dr
Beauty is relative, because we're all looking for different things in people. Somewhere out there right now, there are people looking for someone just like you. You both will seem unbelievably attractive to the other, and you both probably have no idea why, ;3
Worse about what dude? If I looked like you I'd be a happy man xD
The worst part about being gay is that when you see a handsome dude, you both feel insecure about not being good enough for THEM, _AND_ feeling like shit about YOURSELF.
At least when you're straight you can't directly compare yourself to the people that take your breath away.
"it's a lottery and you haven't won." =) =)
Jerome Edullantes " We're all destined to die alone" :^) :^)
this needs to be on a t-shirt
Jerome Edullantes it's called the genetic lottery and there's no such thing as that. It's just some stupid, foolish game.
Wow so many people failed haha
It's true, genes are a lottery. I could've looked exactly like my father who was extremely handsome, but I absorbed other genes that make me look like my father but I'm just not handsome like him
I feel ugly but on the very rare occasion that a girl calls me cute, I can't tell if they're joking or not so I therefore still feel ugly. All my friends have girlfriends but I've always been a single pringle -_-
Alonso Ralat same,sometimes I get the "you're not ugly" but I really can't take the compliment because I don't think I am pretty
In all likelihood, they're not joking. That doesn't mean that you're going to like the way you look, though. Strange but true.
I can relate to much to this
Same
Worst is "you're kind of cute" imo.
I wonder how I look from someone's perspective. When i look in the mirror, I look great, and I feel confident, but when I flip the mirror so I'm looking at myself as another person would, I look ;-;
Exactly how I feel...😞
I feel that too. The most disappointing thing happened to me is God chose my ugly side outward instead of my pretty side (which only I can see).
Heather Victoria Grace I’m like WoW..your post is how I feel...Made me think..and feel sad that we feel this way..
@@MandyStanton I think everyone thinks that about themselves
SAME LIKE MY SIDES IN THE FKING MIRROR LOOKS LIKE A PIG
I have chubby cheeks and I'm doing everything just to look pretty but I know that won't happen because I can't be attractive
Telling an ugly person to love themselves is like telling someone with asthma to just breath
Perfect analogy
Correct
Indeed some people won't understand how difficult it is I went to learn self love and god it was hard surprisingly so HARD and if you've been dealing with it for a very long time which I have been dealing with since I was like 13 or you'll struggle along the way it hurts I'm 16 now
@@nemesisssss1755 true,I was starting to feel nicer about the way I look until today. Someone took a vid of me and I looked different then what I'm used to. I mean a bad angle yk and it was so annoying because I was like Is that how others see me? I look better from a front view but the way that vid was made me look so bad and now Im lower then I was I got no self esteem anymore.
@@a.e6456 i get how you feel dude I remember a time I had a "friend" unknowingly take a picture of me and sent it to our gc knowing it was a bad pic
Sometimes I will actually brush my teeth in the dark because I hate looking at myself in the mirror. 😂
Saame I was feeling so bad about myself one day that I taped a piece a paper on the mirror where my face would be...that was kinda sad lol
I haven't looked in a mirror for a decade
lol i just look down at the sink.
I look in the mirror at home but I always avoid mirrors outside, too afraid to look lol
Lol same here ! It's clearly more about a llack of self confidence than about beauty.
When I see myself in the mirror I don't think I look that bad. But as soon as I see a photo of myself I just look awful. So who's being truthful, the camera or the mirror?
+Miley Coniglio That's absolute horseshit.
The only thing the camera does is show you what your face looks like un-reflected (you actually see the left side of your face on the left side instead of the right, like when you look into the mirror), but posing for pictures, lighting of the picture, filters, etc. do more to change appearance in my opinion. Plus people look momentarily bad all the time (like if you pause a video when an actor is mid sentence or something and they're blinking with their mouth open).
the camera can fuck ur face up because of the lenses... the mirror is a true version of yourself but inverted 😊
I LOOKED AT MY SCREEN AND I THOUGHT YOUR PFP WAS A BUG ON MY PHONE YOU GAVE ME THE BIGGEST HEART ATTACK OMG
@@hannaht.5533 literaly same
I'm ugly and I'm PROUD!
+NerdSync Nonsense. You did absolutely nothing to achieve your looks which means there is nothing for you to be proud of there.
+NerdSync So, you're unattractive for not just one, but at least two reasons, uh? Oh, how well I understand you... ;)
+HOLyPumpgun | Gaming
Hmm, I see what you're saying. But then I have often thought that recognizing you are ugly can be a little like being accepted into a guild or fraternity of sorts. A fraternity of fellow ugly people? People who have at least some degree of shared experience, shared pain, by virtue of their ugliness. One might look around at the other card-carrying members of this fraternity and feel something akin to pride in being included amongst their ranks. There's something beautiful about that basic empathic exercise. I don't know, just musing here.
BakehousePictures I get where you're coming from completely. I simply dislike people misusing the concept of pride like this. It's similar with patriotism or people being proud of their national football team and such things. In most cases it's just happiness people are feeling. Happiness about being part of a group or guild, like you say. Happiness and content about being born into a certain nation. The word pride just gives those feelings a strangely arrogant subtext which they don't necessarily deserve.
+NerdSync Maybe you just have got bad breath
You know this reminded me of a lovely story. It's called The Ugly Barnacle...
he was sooo ugly, everyone died. the end.
Jack Robbo
you just made my day.
Jack Robbo stfuu 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Nat_G879 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Jack Robbo I was reminded of Jane Eyre
I’m crying so hard right now because a lot of people said I’m ugly.. I hate to be ugly. It’s really hard to love myself.
I feel the same way. Do u have an ig?
TILL THIS DAY!!! Yes, I have
Same
You are not ugly. The people who said you are, are the ugly ones
@@tammy1598 he ment he hates himself.
Same as me
school of depression and the meaningless of life
The school of death
School of emptiness and existencial crisis
@Maarten Love it!
School of rock y'all!!!!
Heck yes
Is it just me or the more time you spend with an unattractive person, the less unattractive they seem. Like maybe you start to get used to it? Or maybe their personality gains more of your attention?
***** What is bullshit?
Yes, I have experienced this. It’s incredible.
Personality yes. When you get to know a person and like their personality you tend to ignore their unattractive features because you are less critical and look for good in them instead of searching for flaws.
It is because familiarity increases the perception of attractiveness. As a face become more familiar to you, it starts to look increasingly attractive.
James Buckley
true
For a large portion of my life, I hated how I looked. I hated seeing pictures of me. I would tell my friends and family not to post a picture of me, and they would reply "but its how you always look!" That never helped. I also had another problem: self-esteem. I didn't like who I was at all, I was self-conscious, and everyday I would wake up with a pain in my chest from thinking about things I said or did.
A few years passed, I gained some self-confidence, and I hadn't looked at old pictures of myself in awhile. I got on facebook and started looking at those old images I hated so much: I didn't hate them anymore. In fact, I noticed I looked pretty cute. Not in all of them of course... But those pictures my friends and family said "that's how you always look"? I finally understood. My friends liked those pictures because they saw _me_, but I didn't like _me_ at the time. Now that I do like _me_, I find so much beauty in them!
My point is, confidence in yourself goes a long way with how you see yourself :)
That's so freaking true. I can look at the same picture and think it's pretty on some days, and fugly on other days.
SAME OMG
cutiepie316289 but the problem is, how to gain confidence without the help of other people's opinions (which suggests ugliness)
burpie then you’re not ugly so you can’t understand
I feel like you simply telling my story.....makes me get im not alone and I can get through this........... can't even choose what to wear without considering what others will want me to............. thanks for this
I have always hated my appearance. I feel so lucky that I found my wife so early on in life and she loves me for who I am and how I look. I'll never understand why but Toni, I'm grateful.
bee pot ..i wish i got someone who understands me too
ugh.you r sweet person.
10 will look for 10s, 5 will look for 10s and 1s- will look for 10s.
LOVE IT!!!
We be looking, but wont find em 😊
Oooooof!!!!
Not always... I have waffled between pretty and sloppy and even when I was "prettier," I went for the less mainstream looking people. I think the media has distorted the views of people growing up listening to the constant bombardment of a certain aesthetic. If you got off of the internet and into the real world, you would see a lot more mixture of random couplings, including "hot people" getting together with "less hot" people.
Sorry but I don't fight the battles which I can't win.
I think it's important to stress that everyone has insecurities about his/her appearance. We're social animals so we live our lifes comparing ourselves to others. That's how we notice our "imperfections"; by comparing ourselves to desirable traits. Being dissatisfied with your looks is essentially a form of envy. You will always find someone with a trait that you'd like, thus you will always think that you look imperfect to some extent. Nobody has the full package, so remember that you're not alone in your envy.
Even I, the mighty Afro Samurai, have my insecurities.
No not you too!
+Afro Samurai Words to live by, my friend :)
Afro Samurai wow. This is really well said even though i felt like that before.
Ancor3 what about zayn malik... Find at least one defect in his face.
WHAT ABOUT SELENA GOMEZ SHE'S BEEN PRETTY ALL HER LIFE
1. Absolutely true. How you look, in large part, is dependent on your genes. But I don't doubt for a moment that beautiful people don't actively try to maintain or increase their looks; many do. I've also seen ugly people turn gorgeous by simply doing a few things about themselves. Don't expect you cannot change anything about your looks.
Of course, this goes only for those who are interested in doing something about their appearance. Personally, I don't give enough about my appearance (which isn't particularly pretty) to do something about it. ...but then I also don't expect people to think I'm prettier then I actually am.
2. I have no clue what you mean by that.. If you try to go with the idea that beauty is just the surface of who the person actually is, then I agree. But it is stated in such an odd way... It seems to be: 'go with someone who appreciates your beauty more'. My response would be: why? Isn't that just as shallow as only accepting someone on their appearance? The ugly guy shown in the video might be a dick, while the pretty one isn't. Still better to give your boon to the ugly one?
3. Sure, you try to subconsciously go for those who are similar to your parents. ...or not of course. It isn't a rule set in stone.
It's also subconscious, as stated. You don't actively seek out these things, you just 'are' attracted to these features. How could you 'rely on ugly parents'?
I can imagine someone asking around for pictures of the parents of potential dates. Awkward.
4. So.. fat/ugly shaming is bad, because it isn't a democratic process and ugly people might see the beauty more in yourself.. ..unless it's the rich or the powerful. Then, of course, you should pull yourself up by their misfortune of being the way they are.
Wut?
5. Also, not a rule set in stone. Plenty that were ugly and stayed ugly their entire life. Sure, people change over time and might change to something YOU think is uglier or nicer. So what? How does this make someone better 'now'? Being an atheist, I'll just say this: I could hope for a heaven as much as I want, but without evidence to show that it exists, why should I EXPECT there to be one? This is pretty much the same. Sitting on my ass expecting to be pretty eventually doesn't change reality.
I don't see how this helps anyone.
6. ...Stating before that we subconsciously look at certain aspects of someones appearance and ending up liking what we see, shows that won't work. You can appreciate certain parts of someones appearance more, you might end up liking these aspects more over time. But the genuine liking part is still subconscious. You cannot force yourself to enjoy something you don't enjoy
Look, I get it.. There are a lot of people who have a lot of problems with how they look. Here's the thing tho, you can only do two things: change as much as possible, but it'll be hard and costs money. But you might not like the end result or simply will never be happy. So, the other one is simply accept it.
I accept that I look the way I do. I know I'm not mister perfect and quite frankly, I don't give a shit. The things I do want to change, which I know I can change and have the means to, I will change. Other than that, I rather go with charm. Because that's one thing you haven't touched upon, which I believe is massively more important than any of these points. Ugly or not, you can be charming. The way you interact with someone is massively more important then the way you look, when it comes to attracting someone.
Someones appearance is just something that initially triggers the most basic of our instincts. The way we look indicate how successful 'our' offspring will be, but it isn't the only thing that indicates this. Someone safe, someone you can trust and rely on, someone that will stand by you through everything and has the means to stand in life on his or her own attracts people as well.
Yeah, I know it's hard. It means becoming confident, despite everything. But you know, that's what life is. It's a struggle. A hard one. Thankfully you're not alone out there. The world is full of people that are more than willing to help you out becoming the best that you can be.
+Shangori Thats a lot of good Points! =)
+Shangori Thanks, dude/dudette. This is really helpful. You're one of a kind.
GluggJuppen Thank you :-)
+Shangori Same goes to me, after i let my hair grow, many girls smile at me, something which didn't happend back in my days when i got short hair :D
+Shangori being fat isn't genetic lol
my new goal in life is to have a candid nose. the lies my nose tells end now!
Don't do it ! You may regret it later, and if you don't like yourself now, it means you'll find another detail bothering you next. See Michael Jackson disaster...
Concentratre on your future career, culture, positive relationships etc !!!
Starman Why do you regret it?
***** calm down :o I just asked... some people are happier with there new nose because they hated theyre old one (damn my english is bad Im sorry)
it's very hard to picture a candid nose. 😁
Hahaha
Beauty mostly lies in symmetry, and is much more objective than we like to believe. It's not simply a social construct.
+J Ribs Agreed
Ahmed N The bias for traits like symmetry are built in to our mammalian brains via millions of years of evolution
+J Ribs He never said it was! This is a straw man. Did you watch the video?
The Goodly Dragon I made fact claims. There is no straw man. If so, explain. I loved the video.
J Ribs
Your arguing as though his claims in this video contradict yours, which they don't. This video did not call beauty a social construct, and indeed seems to imply otherwise.
I remember a Seinfeld episode where Elaine asked Jerry what proportion of people are truly good looking and attracted to each other. Jerry replied 'around 5%'. Elaine then asked how the rest managed to get together. Jerry replied 'Alcohol'.
Bumping uglies.
I still want a nose job
don't lol. you're the only one thinking you should get one, trust me. :)
you really are the only one that cares.
Aw, you look lovely the way you are :)
@@CaT-in4kf no one will really care, we are to busy trying to survive this life to actually care
Daniela Sosa i hate my nose the most it’s the only fuck up on me. i feel like it’s just there to piss me off..
This just made me feel worse.
ua-cam.com/video/yKp8KL83BUU/v-deo.html
This success story might change your perception about life
Well it was a terrible video. Fact of the matter is that a lot of people who feel ugly actually aren't
@@degenkami2933 nobody is ugly, everything is subjective. One person could think your the prettiest person alive and the other think that your just plain.
I started really hating my appearance around the age of 14. Up until then, it was mainly others who kept commenting
on how lacking I was in the looks department, and I thought they were just being rude.
But once I realized they were right, I quickly developed toxic shame, Avoidant Personality Disorder, anorexia and
chronic, lifelong depression. And now, at age 41, I never leave the house because I can't stand being around other
people who constantly judge me for the way I was born.
I haven't had a job in nearly 20 years, never had a relationship or been intimate with anyone, and I spend my days hiding
away from the world I don't belong in. I go outside perhaps once every 6 months if there's some obligation I simply
cannot escape and must attend to, but if nothing requires me being there, I stay alone indefinitely.
I have no problem appreciating the beauty in others, no matter what they look like.
But fat lot of good that's doing me.............
wow
teppolundgren im 18 and same as your prob since 16 ...life holds no good thing and curiosity
Alone and insecure over looks and personality cuz of my looks
That sounds like body dysmorphic disorder. You should look it up. There are good treatment options.
Eat more, work out with bands at home, get a skincare routine!
I have this weird habit of look at people's faces on public bus.. Eventho most would say their looks are below average, I can always find the beauty in their looks..it could be their wide eyes, or their pretty eyelashes, or nice looking-lips,or anything. Honestly, everyone got beauty, just some blessed with more so they looks stand out,thus people call them beautiful. But that doesn't mean you are ugly or don't have any beauty on your face. :)
Whoever says "I'm ugly and I'm proud"
You're lying
we are ashamed ........
I feel like most of this video focused too much on feeling better by mentally putting others down or other kinds of unhealthy comparison. "They won't be beautiful forever" and so on .. I liked the last point about seeing different kinds of beauty, I think that is much more important. I can appreciate all kinds of different aesthetics in art and style, so why not when it comes to faces and bodies? Think of some of the famous people that have "strange" features; it becomes their unique brand. It makes them so much cooler. Why is that not the case for you? It's about how you carry it. You don't have to conform, you're this amazing entity that is too special to fit into that tiny box. You're the coolest alien. Or if that doesn't work for you, try to do things with your life that you're proud of. Get really into your interests. Take really good care of yourself. Looks will seem more and more irrelevant and you'll be ~glowing from within~ , lol. But really.
Your comment is better than the video
+Nanna F Absolutely. This video was unusually malicious compared to other School of Life videos.
I'm not saying that it _can_ in fact be advantageous for your psyche to take any of the steps suggested in this video, but I feel like the vast majority of the suggestions boiled down to:
"Don't sweat it. There's nothing we can change about it, and everyone will be ugly eventually. Plus some pretty people are dumb enough to date ugly fucks like you, because biology."
I particularly disagree that there's nothing we can do about our looks. Unless you "won" he ugly lottery, you'll at likely not make a negative impression if you take good care of your body at least.
That's why I disagree with the part about 2:25.
It's true that there are people that can eat junk food all day and stay slim in their teenage years, and then one day quickly start turning fat over the years once their hormones change.
While some people might be more _prone_ to being overweight, _acquiring_ or _keeping_ regular weight (or a toned body on particular) is a question of determination and a healthy lifestyle (for the vast majority of people), and thus the very opposite of things like your facial structure.
you should make some educational videos ............ great mind great comment
This is poorly handled. Not liking ones looks isn't necessarily to do with ugliness and very often it doesn't end at the physical. It's about a yearning to be more than we are and is a far deeper psychological discontentment that everyone has, even very (perceived) attractive people. I also wasn't sure if this video was suggesting that attractiveness is objective, and "thank god for ugly parents" with the subtext of "thank god some ugly people are saved by attractive people" is some candid preaching. This video seems more occupied with trying to boost the mood of ugly people and telling them there's nothing they can do about being ugly, just try to see it in a new perspective. That's fine, but "Not Liking One's Looks" is broader and more complex than this.
Yes but how can I date Scarlett Johansson?
Isn't Amber Heard younger ?
You need to kill all the konungs and become the King of all Norway
Shashank Laur nobody wants to date her so go find another real woman instead of that ugly ass bitch!
Ice Queen Jealousy isn’t a good look on you, sweetheart.
If you look like David Beckham then maybe she’ll date ya
I avoid getting my pic taken at all costs. And the times when people have snuck a pic of me without my knowing and then show it to me is the worst. I get so depressed and think “is this what I really look like? “ But anyway I know there are a lot more important things than appearance but when you don’t like how you like, it is disastrous to your self- esteem.
Life is brutal
This video needs a follow-up! How to Care Less what People Think of You
Paul P yes please!
go watch actualized.org for that one
I keep hoping someone somewhere will do the same for me, but I think at this point I shall accept that it will never happen. I know it's not personal but I wish there were more people that were aware that not everyone won the appearance lottery. Yet society still instills a very limited view of what is beauty, and people subscribe to it. Thanks for this exceptional video, as always.
palespectre that would be pity
Whenever I am out in public i try not to look into the any mirror because of my appearance i have low self-esteem and it make me feel bad about myself.
I am quite ugly.. That is why I have a cat profile picture ... lol
If that is your cat then atleast he/she is attractive:). Cats with chubby cheeks are seen as attractive by other cats (I dont know if that counts for both genders or only male though, but if your cat is male then damn is he hot!)
if you are beautiful or not on the outside,
we still love you ........
In my eyes, I’m ugly and it also doesn’t help that I’m not smart either. Kinda difficult to feel confident when you don’t have much going for you. 😅
in high school, there was this girl who complimented all my friends but told me that i was so ugly and I'll be forever alone. then she said she was jk... I'm 20 now and I'm lonely and insecure as ever. mostly boys called me ugly and some girls. im treated unfairly because of my appearance. but what if i was attractive? and my profile pic displayed this beautiful girl with big eyes and nice lips. you would only talk to me and give me more attention because of that. accept your appearance and understand the value of not being conventionally attractive. less friends but all real ones. less relationships but more on the basis of who you actually are and not what you look like. less guys would want to "hit" but you don't have to concern yourself with guys who say "i would hit." being beautiful or just average looking is all i desire but if i don't stay forever alone like that girl said and i do eventually get some friends, i know that my friends arent only my friends because I'm cute. being pretty, EVERYONE wants to be invited to get to know you. But whoever wants to be invited to get to know me, that person is rare and real. If i was born pretty and everyone liked me, i would probably only want pretty friends and would be disrespectful to people since i grew up with such admiration. but i can at least thank God that I'm not conventionally attractive because I see the truth of the matter and Im grateful for that.
youare biutiful
How r u now?
u r so right ,so right ..but still i wish i had pretty face😢 i feel so lonely ,i want to feel myself beautiful .. i want someone love ,i want to marry someone , but all those feelings ,i won't try it 💔..if only i hadn't ugly face.
I am afraid looks are how you 're treated in the world
I'd say that's true but your personality can compensate for that
@@ellisjackson3355 Barely. Can't show your personality when you get shut out before you get your foot in the door.
Yup
Life IS a lottery, it's 99% luck, and the final prize in any case, is death.
"It's the ugle that best appreciate beauty." I resonnated with this so much this sentences almost brought tears to my eyes.
why..........tears
Bald people, huh, Alain?
Loooooooool!
+Fiaca But the man's got an awesome voice
He also has great looks!
+Fiaca bald heads turn me on
+Fiaca lol, good catch...of course he did have to find an example 'somewhere' and mid life balding is pretty classic. haha...I think his willingness to go self-deprecating is a sign of his humor. P.S. to balding males, my daughter recently said she really liked a fellow, yet would likely let him go, because he refuses to accept his baldness - I can deal with that she says, but I cannot date a man who does the comb over because 'he' wont admit it! Embrace your new you and others will too - deny and you'll be alone! :)
Mirror mirror on the wall
It does not matter if I’m short or tall
If I have skinny legs or if my hips are wide
It only matters who I am inside
Blue eyes black eyes brown or green
What makes me beautiful cannot be seen
When you see me don’t judge my parts
The best thing about me is my heart
One day you will look back and see
I am just perfect just being me
In short, if you're ugly you're screwed. Simple as that. You'll earn less, be treated differently, people will make assumptions about who you are and you will suffer for it, forever. Go do research, learn about how attractive people get more of what they want to achieve. Learn how they earn more. Learn how they achieve more. Learn about all those advantages and remember, always you will be one step behind because of it.
There is no happiness, just varying degrees of misery. Have a nice day.
ShinEmperor couldn't agree more
yeah those are all true and it hurts but you can still find happiness in your life. besides, poc and people of the lgbt community already feel this feeling of always being one step (or multiple) behind due to something we cant control. we face prejudice and discrimination but we can still be happy.
You are so narcissistic and overdramatic and self-important
Jesus man
Appearance is one thing, the character another.
But people have eyes.. So expect people going to judge you
Well said
People tell me I'm handsome but I always found my looks disgusting. While others insist that I'm not ugly, it feels like they're mocking me. It's like telling a retarded kid "Oh you're such a smart boy".
It rustles my jimmies...
Same
rustles your jimmies
The comments really made me feel that I'm not alone.
The story of how I fell in love with my husband is odd and kind of goes with this video...
I was in 11th grade when I met him. My first thought when I saw him was, "I want to be friends with him," because he was the only person in my new school that wore skinny jeans (lol). If I'm being honest, I didn't really see him as boyfriend material. Not because of his looks, but because I'd given up on romantic relationships. So I didn't classify him as "attractive" or "unattractive". He just was.
I got used to talking to him most days, even if we only said hello. But, suddenly, in 12th grade, everything changed. I passed him in the school hallway and said hi as I did. He didn't respond. He just looked ahead and kept walking. My heart broke. I literally had a pain in my chest because I thought he was ignoring me. That was the moment I realized he was so much more than a friend to me.
Long story short, he wasn't ignoring me, he just didn't hear me. And he'd had a huge crush on me since he met me. That very day, I changed seats to sit right next to him in class and...well, made my feelings known. We've been together for going on 6 years now and I'm even more in love with him than ever. And his looks honestly had nothing to do with my attraction to him. It was his personality, his character, and...something else that I can't quite put my finger on. Some voice or intuition told me that he was the one and it was right. If he *had* heard me that day...I shudder to think of what I may have missed out on.
So, like the video says, don't worry so much about looks. *Everyone* has features they would like to change, but you never know if your soulmate loves that feature (for example, my husband has a rather large nose - everyone teases him about it - but I love it. It makes him...well, *him*).
:)
Beautiful :)
Honestly I think I'm the only one but personality has so much to do with appearance and how you present yourself. Like my sister is always like 'omg this girl on Instagram is gorgeous' but I never share the same belief because personality has too much to do with it. Appearance alone is nothing.
I agree with this SO much. If I have a positive opinion on someone based on their personality, they automatically become a lot more physically attractive to me. And same for if I have a negative opinion on someone. Looks alone are just not enough to base a judgement on.
so damn true. so many girls I befriend in the past who are very cute, end up so so ugly in appearance to me cos of their personality
Indeed, this is very true. There have been studies made that showed just that, a person we like we see as more beautiful while a person we dislike become uglier to us. Very interesting feature of the human mind I must say. I test myself sometimes, I judge an appearance and when I have learnt some of the person I judge again. I find that in a pleasant person I focus on the pleasant features, and the "ugly" things do for most part disappear. While the absolute opposite happens if it's a nasty, mean person. It does not matter how "perfect" of a face he/she have, I still find the person genuinely ugly and distasteful.
I thought everyone was like this until my friends told me otherwise lol. I can't think someone's attractive if they don't also fulfill the requirements for being a decent human being.
That is how i feel too.Most girls in my class are beautiful, but their personality is evil.
everytime i look in the mirror or see a picture of myself, i cry.
I am beginning to except being ugly after 39 years
Robert Collins..man
TSL have given some weird videos in past. this was weirdest.
+akshay rathore I thought this was one of their more intelligent videos.
***** Indeed!
Ive had random strangers tell me
Im pretty, but when it comes to people my age i dont get any compliments what so ever.
So... Am i pretty but people my age are to shy to say anything?
Or are these older people just saying this so i dont feel bad because im really ugly?
I may just be over thinking but its always been a thought ive had.
CapriBea I literally feel you. I don’t even know anymore.
It's kinda weird but when I was young, I was SUPER picky about who is beautiful. But now that I'm older, I see how just plain youth is so attractive. I used to wonder why people thought Bradley Cooper, Kate Beckinsale and Paul Rudd attractive. Now, when I look back at their younger pictures, I see good looking youthful features -- full head of hair, smooth skin, plumpness in the face. Things we just take for granted in our 20s.
I met a 20 yo a few months back. He thought he was ugly. Oh, my goodness. You shoul have seen his hair and golden complexion.
So getting back to your question, the older people see the beauty in you. The younger people are too stupid and busy chasing after Instagram makeup faces and girls showing too much skin. So enjoy the compliment because it's genuine.
Boys and girls, don't take your youthful looks for granted. You will wish one day you are "this ugly."
Am Pa you sound like you never ever heard of insecurities. they are heart to get them off, and we teenagers and young people are fighting. i understand what you mean but I thought i just should share my opinion because everyone has that right to either it is bad or nice. thanks.
ive had random strangers come up to me and tell me an ugly bitch.
Zugalu ouch thats awful
How ugly or good-looking I find someone depends entirely on their personality, not on their actual appearance. I tell people this all the time but they find it hard to believe me :/
+Danielle Thomas If you can do that, I'm impressed. I'm assuming that you can't judge the personality after only meeting them for 30 seconds. I would think that you would need repeated experience with somebody to be able to do what you do. The only question I have is how do you judge that personality before someone has even spoken a word?
+Brad F ok of course... I should clarify. What i mean is that it's true for people i know personally. I think when I know someone is mean, it overemphasizes any negative feature they have, to the point where I can't see them as good looking. Similarly if someone is kind, their good features are just automatically emphasized and they look beautiful to me. for people i don't know i do fall back on the old stereotypes.
+Taewon Yoon hey. how do you know I'm attracted to men? :P in any case, i disagree that it has to do with my gender. perhaps in recent human history that has been the case, but certainly primarily in western cultures, and only for what, the last 600 years? I think it's just that our current culture objectifies women more, so men are subconsciously taught to view our bodies more as *objects* of their desire (PS YES I know men are also objectified, hence the "more", also this is just my opinion)
+Brad F If they act confident and like they are someone to be around and take command of the situation. It has an effect even when you know there full of shit and they don't really know what there talking about in witch case you likely will see them as more attractive but also get very annoyed with them for acting like they know what there doing or making them selves the centre of attention in someone else's area of expertise . We see pepole who look like there in authority as more attractive. Not the ones we know are so much as the ones who act like they are in the right way and convince our subconscious mind when where with them.
+Danielle Thomas I absolutely agree - this is a very deciding factor on overall beauty. It's easy to be shallow and just appreciate appearance, but that alone doesn't hold much weight for a meaningful relationship.. people become increasingly beautiful or unappealing due to their character and how they carry themselves. Kindness is the first aspect, and I would say ultimately the most important.
I've always been able to find the beauty in faces I always wondered if I was just weird? Guess not :)
same, always literally and anyone. beauty is every where
I think about this every day and don't know how to stop obsessing it's a serious problem and a new one I don't know how to handle. The mother of my beautiful kids and light of my life left me all alone because I got ugly she said, twice, once in anger and once during a normal day after. It was so bad she took our babies and moved with her younger way better looking ex boyfriend 5 states away and her words were confirmed when I discover am now so repulsive that nobody wants to even be friends with me any more much less keep me company. I relapsed into 10 oxy a day just trying to not care about it you know like just accept it or not obsess over it and to be numb. I have anxiety about accidentally looking in mirrors, I constantly think about it getting worse as I age more. I'm pretty sure my brain is broken. My therapist said it was abuse, there was lots of other stuff but its not abuse if its true or if I deserved something but we had disagreements so I stopped seeing her It's not a confidence issue, I have plenty of that normally, just none when I think about my face and how nobody likes being around anymore. I used to be charming and I normally am when I am not fuckin verge of death intoxicated. maybe people can just tell I am fucking mentally ruined and that's why they stay away. How do I accept that my good days are all gone? How do you deal with aging and people not liking you anymore? I turned 32 this year. I am a mess.
I've been called ugly (and every other word) since I can remember. It blows my mind that one essentially meaningless word could shake my self confidence for years.
I have a better sense of self now :).
Bigtombowski Singh rhymes with King. And bling.
+Nali Vlogs Don't worry & don't listen to ugly words at all. I will marry you and everything would be alright. Trust me.
Lol. Thanks guys.
Well I think you're absolutely stunning, so for anyone to call you anything else is shocking to me. Beautiful eyes, perfect eyebrows and lips. You have a soft, sincere face and smile.
Youre not ugly in my oppinion..
This might be the only channel to post actually useful content
+Just Comment, No Videos perhaps you should compliment the other channels kind chins
+GladX like? you wanna share some with us?
+GladX ok,ok there other useful channels I just think these guys should get more credit
+Mytho Virus what about their or-gust foreheads?
Somebody hasn't come across Brett Keane Superstar yet.
I feel like viewing your body the way a doctor views it to be really helpful, when you are in front of a mirror think of all the functions your body executes and remind yourself that your body is here to serve you not to be sexualized
If I have three wishes I would wish to be better looking, have an unlimited supply of money, and finally find peace within.
Tou Xiong oh same
Accepting your visuals and the vibe is gives off and working along with it instead of trying to change it to fit a certain way is sooo uplifting. that is when you start to enjoy what your(outer) self and have fun with it.
Sis I dont give any vibe off though
this video made me depressed,
Its a whole string of "the grapes are sour" arguments.
Im glad u used the word ugly instead of trying to sound "correct" with the "those with severe appearance deficits" bullshit.
I'm aesthetically challenged :)
I'm just ugly and I know it -___-
Sorry but at 1:30 she is going to choose the handsome muscular man on the right. Women are not attracted to guys who put them on a pedestal. She is also going to want to have her looks validated by the most attractive man she can get, not by some skinny ugly guy who kisses her feet.
You guys shouldn't reinforce these illusions. It's better to say that a person can improve on what they have through style, fitness and personality. If the ugly skinny bald guy got muscles, grew some strategic facial hair, dressed well and acted attractive, he can close the gap a lot more with the naturally handsome guy.
So true, and even if that would work, there are cases of where pretty girls go for ugly guys (also w/ the genders switched) to feel worshipped and higher than the ugly partner and that is extremely unhealthy and toxic too. Also where the ugly person thinks theyre less worth than the attractive one and that their partner is higher. It just seems narcissistic that a beautiful person should go for an ugly person because they'll appreciate their beauty more and give them validation.
The humor of this video is cynical 😂
Life is an ugly bitch.
Life is what *you* make of it.
reflection of yourself
"No ones end up happy on how they look" 2:31 Wrong, I am extremely happy with my looks.
I just hate the way I look in PICTURES. it's like a completely different person. A hideous person
Don't worry about the camera. They disort people's faces making them look ugly as hell when they look nothing like that in real life at all.
Here is my recap. 1) Accept that you lost. When they handed out looks, you were out beating yourself with an ugly stick. 2) Turn your starvation into an appreciation for food. Savor the crumbs. 3) Don't lose hope. Maybe you'll remind some ugly person of their ugly parent. Some people like bulldogs. 4) Indulge in "sour grapes". Revel in your envy. 5) Be spiteful. You may never win, but the winners will eventually lose. They may be gorgeous during their prime mating years, attracting lots of lovers while you're pleasuring yourself to thoughts of people who are ten levels out of your league, but eventually, the winners will get old and fat. 6) Keep your eyes on the dirt, not the stars. Some people go through life eating steak while others dig for roots. Learn to love carrots. The end.
Its like i think about my appearance 24/7.. Whenever i see somebody's face i instantly compare myslef to them and most of the time i feel worse and wish i looked like them. I want this to stop, i sometimes think.. Why was i born like this, i started hating myslef because of my looks.
Me tooo my family made jokes about calling me ugly tell me I look like people that I think are ugly so thanks guys ! Compare me to more people why don’t yo
You are not alone
I have face blindness. Pretty much everyone looks the same. Including me. I dislike my looks in the sense that I can't actually remember what my face looks like, so it's just really confusing to look in the mirror and I don't know who I am. Think yourself lucky if you can actually recognise anyone else on the planet, or look in the mirror without being terrified, thinking a total stranger is in your flat, staring at you. Every single day. Constantly terrifying. I died my hair once and had a 6 month dissociative breakdown cos i no longer recognised myself at all. in the end I just had to cover up all of the mirrors cos it was too terrifying every time I caught my reflection. In fact, in terms of attractiveness in other people, I always find i go for people with features that stick out and break some sort of symmetry, as I can actually "see" people who have supposedly "odd" features. Anyone "conventionally attractive" just dissolves into being a round circle with eyes, and if we're out in public I can't find them at all. With this in mind, why are people so hung up on what other people look like? It's completely baffling to me - I'm hung up on the fact that more people don't wear name tags.
I never knew something like this existet...
Depresstival Im confsed. Can your brain not notice the body structure? Hair type/color? And other traits that would help you narrow down a person
yes, but people change their hair and clothing a lot.
Most people are hung up on appearance because they don't have prosopagnosia. Interesting disorder though, I couldn't imagine what it's like.
Biologists believe that the traits that people find physically attractive convey health, strength and fertility to the opposite sex. Attractive women have clear skin, shiny hair, hips, large breasts, straight teeth, etc. Handsome men generally tend to be "rugged", i.e. not like women. A man with hard, chiseled features, muscles and height are generally considered handsome because toughness and strength were traits which meant survival in the past. In terms of faces, symmetry is probably the most important, general trait. Very often, the most handsome people have faces whose left side is very much a mirror image of the right. Most people do not have this symmetry.
What if you're the only ugly one though? Everyone around me is beautiful in some way, but me... Not so much.
Maybe you just dont see it
i was fat when i was born and the doctors laughed at me. now i am not fat anymore.
take that, doctors!
That ain't fat that is chubby.
No one looks ugly when they smile.
right no one is ugly we you are happily living with them.........
ok but i still want a new nose tho...
we can trade
Am I the only one who feels beauty differently to how I see it? For instance, I'm not visually attracted to my partner's chubby belly, but I love how it feels. Tactile attraction is at least as important to me as visual attraction, if not more.
I feel the same way. I think this is why I'm generally not attracted to men who are muscular and lean. Their firm bodies don't seem that fun to cuddle with.
I much prefer stocky tall men yes, men with pudgy bellies too! I am actually attracted to it and can imagine it'll be awesome to cuddle up with a handsome pudgy man once I get him!
Yep makes sense. But the best option is not so fat belly, but a curvy soft belly is good to feel and touch.
I think it's unfair that so many hate the way they look because it's not 100% beautiful, when other people are born with deformities and just wishes to have all limbs; or suffered a burning accidents that disfigure them, and only wish to look normal.
Life isn't a competition
Not being allowed to care about something isnt great either btw
Fr lol imma start tryna act more like my crush's mom then.
LMFAOOOO FR
this isn’t helping at all but thanks for trying
Please more of this topic! It's a really common issue in today's society
Ever since being a young child, I've always known that I wasn't exactly..."blessed" in the looks department! But I never remember caring about it either my thought process was something along the lines of: "Hmmm, I'm kinda ugly...oh well". The only time I started to care was when other people pointed it out to me later in my childhood (and constantly ever since hahaha, aren't people so great?) Just makes me think about how much of my dissatisfaction with my appearance might stem from a fear of what other people think rather than me genuinely caring about it.
No one ever tells me Im gorgeous. I’ve been told I’m ugly by bullies in my childhood. But somehow, I know I have days when I’m good enough for a male pageant and so I joined. Since then, I’m certain. That Beauty is just the product of your thoughts. Your face responds to your thinking. It will literally Reshape to match your kind thoughts. I have days, when I look in the mirror, and I fucking wish, I can keep that look for an entire month. You can even change your eye color through diets. I went from black to bluish green and its on a video.
I look more attractive when I'm with my friends
other people always get called beautiful and good looking but people only call me 'cute' and I find it slightly patronising. who else has this problem?
i feel you bruh. my sister has been told by like 3 of our family members that she should be a model. all I get is “you look like you’ve lost weight!” 💀 sigh
I’ve never received a compliment. If someone told me that I was cute, I would be the happiest guy on earth
This is a problem I can't relate to, but I feel like most of this just assumes that all of those watching are ugly. So I have a few things to add.
There's an unrealistic artificial standard of beauty and everyone knows it. 99% of people do not expect you to look like a model, but we expect it of ourselves. If you see a pretty person, they are probably struggling with the same thoughts.
Looks are subjective. I know plenty of people that, to me, have been given an unfair hand in life and been given a rather poor face, but they view themselves as attractive and find others that like they way they look. Consider that you might be in the reverse situation. Someone else might find you perfect even if you don't. So don't worry about looks too much.
Finally, and I think most important, modern science has found that it's not beauty ideals that attract us to people but the imperfections they have. When actresses get nose jobs and fix "imperfections", they often also *LOSE* popularity. It's the little things about ourselves that bug us the most that often draw people too us.
Yeah, there are few things sadder to me than a woman who spends thousands of pounds on cosmetic surgery to have the character surgically removed from her face :(
faceshed this is a lot more comforting than the video! Thanks!
Aastha Bhansali
Glad it helped. I really mean every word.
i like that, i like what you sad a lot! this made me happy :)
Fine but I'm all flaws. Ain't nothing endearing about me and a life of zero interest from the opposite sex proves this.
I clicked on this hoping it would make me feel better, it didn’t!
u r so beautiful😡 ..what would u say if u see me 🤦♀️
hahaha the person I'm looking to love is nothing how my parents are.
Yeah, this UA-camr really has a thing for Freud.
hmm
If I am secretly looking to love someone who resembles my parents' psychological habits then I am utterly screwed.
"I caught the ugly."
lol spongebob
This video made me cry but sweetly .. I felt like home here in this video coz m dealing with low self esteem and not being able to perform even I am capable of 🙄😶
Before you fix your outer appearance you have to fix your inner appearance. It's about how you feel on the inside. If you can't be confident in yourself, you won't love yourself.
It is not just I that does not like my looks, through primary school and secondary school, I was often told I was too ugly for the girls I asked out. The girls, theirselves, said, "You are too ugly for me." I realised I was ugly when I was ten years of age. But I also assured myself that some people like ugly things. But it appears that exception does not apply to humans. Nobody likes an ugly human. Realising that my ugliness destined me to never succeed in having an amicable nor an amorous relationship, I stopped trying when I was fifteen years of age to 24 years of age. I tried again at 29 years of age then stopped all attempts at 30 years of age. Nobody wants an ugly friend nor an ugly boyfriend. Those are simple facts. I have stopped a lot of unnecessary rejection and hurt feelings by simply not trying to be social from fifteen years of age to twenty nine years of age. Then from 30 years of age to my current 49 years of age. I have had no friends nor a girlfriend since 8 August 2000 at 18:34. Once one realises that they are ugly and can never possibly get a girlfriend nor ever have any lasting friendship, it is advisable to stop trying and hurting yourself by getting rejected, lied to, and victimised, by the beautiful people. I am impossible to ever have my heart broken again, ever be lied to by false friends, and ever be victimised at a social level. It has been impossible to be hurt for over twenty years. Realising my aesthetic ugliness has saved me from a lot of interpersonal, social, rejection and pain. I recommend all ugly people never try to make friends nor a mate. You would not believe how easy life becomes when you just socially isolate yourself. My life is very easy.
"You have a kind chin." Wish I had one of those!
I've noticed, people who are conventionally "beautiful" are often the shallowest, most intellectually stagnant; they're rife with turn-offs.
I don't see myself as conventionally "ugly", as I'm secure in my own nature, and I appreciate the point of view of this video . ..
*however*
I think deep down, conventionally "ugly" people might feel insulted and condescended by this video, in it's attempt to validate people to boost their sense of worth, by pointing them out in the first place.
In my opinion, the author (while probably well-intentioned) is unknowingly perpetuating the societal perception of "ugliness" by merely emphasizing these different types of "ugly" people.
~ just my 2 cents ~
I get compliments that I am good looking bt when I see a picture of myself or look in the mirror I always think that I am ugly😔.so are these people lying to me?
Adwait kale No just low self esteem. Same thing happened to me but through years of therapy I am beginning to see my outer beauty. 😊
Well we all have our own opinions
Same
"Are your parents ugly?" is my new pickup line.