Why men are Walking away From Todays Women
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- Опубліковано 8 лип 2024
- "Unveiling the Reasons Why Men Are Walking Away from Marriage and Raising a Family: Insights and Perspectives"
Join us for an eye-opening episode of our UA-cam series as we delve into the complex dynamics surrounding marriage, family, and relationships.
In this candid discussion, our panelists Erin The Renegade, Rico Hundo, and our special guest explore the various factors contributing to the trend of men walking away from marriage and opting to stay single.
From societal expectations to changing gender roles, we examine the cultural and societal pressures that shape men's decisions regarding marriage and family. Our panelists share personal anecdotes, societal observations, and expert insights to shed light on this growing phenomenon.
Throughout the episode, we tackle questions such as why some men may feel hesitant to commit to long-term relationships, the impact of divorce and custody battles on men's perspectives, and the evolving definition of masculinity in modern society.
Whether you're curious about the shifting landscape of relationships or seeking a deeper understanding of contemporary gender dynamics, this episode offers valuable insights and thought-provoking discussions.
Tune in to gain a fresh perspective on the complexities of modern relationships and discover why more men are choosing to prioritize independence over traditional family structures.
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Getting married is the easy part. staying married is exponentially harder
IT SHOULD BE EASY ON BOTH, BEING MARRIED MEANS YOUR BOTH HAPPY WITH EACH OTHER, SO WHY IS IT SO HARD TO STAY MARRIED?, BECAUSE PPL CHANGE AND THEY NOT THE PERSON U FELL IN LOVE WITH, EVERYTHING HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE.
Why is the assumption that grandma stayed because she was scared or because she couldn’t leave??? Where are the stats to support that
Our community wasn't the same back in the days, before we integrated to Whyte society, we had everything we needed and our women own their own business or ran company's in our community..now we take on their gripes they have with each other and made their story our history..
The Color Purple is treated as gospel lmao.
I think there’s strength in numbers, that’s why grandma probably didn’t leave. My grandmother raised her black children in Little Rock, AK and Memphis, TN. With segregation and tension between white and black communities, I couldn’t imagine being a divorced woman with a home full of kids in 1950’s southern America.
How would she be able to leave without her community bashing her? Not sure if you guys really think these statements through but romanticize a time in history where it was less than glorious for black women.
@@MsElegance23 I am not romanticizing anything my question was why is the assumption automatically that granny was trapped and she was being abused? There have been a number of examples on social media of older couples married 30+ years and still look happy.
We are in the same age group. My Grandma wasn't trapped. I hate that narrative.
Thank you! My grandmother never had anything negative to say about my grandfather. He never hit her, never abused her, and didn't have a separate family on the other side of town.
@@tpayne12no My grandfather cared for my grandmother every moment of every day until he passed. He passed away first and I've never seen my grandmother cry the way she did at his funeral. 5 years later she passed two. She was 103. Their relationship is the goal.
@@TruthFLA Wow, that's inspirational. My grandmother was burying my grandfather at 24 with 5 children, $5, and two cans of tuna fish (my grandfather was 27). She had to go from being a stay at home mom to a housekeeper. She was never bitter about her situation.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t all woman’s experiences. Older women have been telling their stories where some have taken their pain to the grave. Especially, in the black community where we’re taught to sweep everything under the rug. Of course, there have always been great men out there but we shouldn’t dismiss those accounts of trauma/pain.
@@MsElegance23 With all due respect, I don't believe anyone is trying to be dismissive anyone regarding those personal experiences. However, we have got to get past this trope that every single Black woman from two generations ago was beaten and virtually held against her will by a husband who was essentially Mister from the Color Purple. I love my grandmother enough to believe her when she referred to my grandfather as a "Wonderful Man." I don't think that it is fair to disparage every man from that era because of the actions of others. For a few of us, these predominantly abusive stories about what our grandfathers may have done is unidentifiable because those weren't the existence in our families.
Marriage will always be a great Idea. We all just need to be willing and ready, as well as know, there is nobody without flaws. there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship.. I However learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago my wife and I were on the brink of a divorce because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
I agree with all you said. I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I will look her up online right now.... I hope this works for me too..Tnx
wont regret it
*learned
My dad always used to say show me who you hang with, and I’ll tell you how far you’ll go.
Smart man.
As a black boy who grew up around other black boys, erin can’t speak on our experience just because she has brothers. From the household to the educational system to the work force we have to pave our own path, emotionally, financially etc.
Black women are okay with allowing everyone grace and understanding their traumas until it comes to understanding black men and their generational problems.
Because black women have those same generational traumas. We didn’t get skipped over.
@@MsElegance23 reread 🥴 y’all are okay with allowing everyone (including yourselves) grace, except for the black man that has the equivalent traumas 😐
@@MsElegance23shut up
As an African man I can confirm that polygamous relationships are an exception not a norm..
Lol preach.....I feel as if the men are using that as a reason to justify being polygamous....that is not something Africans do generally.
Yep, I think in America they really romanticize it too much with no actual understanding of what it actually means and looks like.
Both my grandfathers were polygamous and that is because they had status and wealth to do so, my mom’s grandfather had 12 wives and my grandfather on my dad’s side had two “official” wives because he was an igwe. I think people in America tend to only look at the sexual aspect and think it’s all fun and games.
God she's insufferable. I feel bad for her husband smh.
She sounds like a man. No type of patience just nag nag. She is so anti strong man
Man she is definitely a problem and not even a pretty problem
Im 28 and my husband is 27 and we both practice immense patience. And we both worked on that prior to meeting each other. Respect is everything to make all relationships work and endure.
These conversations are pointless and redundant. Black Women will never take any accountability black men will always try to take all the accountability til the point it excuses bad behavior from another grown adult. The whole culture needs to be destroyed and rebuilt on actual values that are going to contribute to the overall growth of our community. What's going on today is extremely shameful our relationships have become transactional bs why wouldn't we stop for a moment to build our OWN CURRENCY?? OUR OWN Government?? GET OUR LAND BACK THAT WAS STOLEN?? We steady trying to fit into this bs and its killing our community.
👉🏾DEUTERONOMY 30
How do black men take accountability? Black men unalive black women at an alarming rate?
I'm really sick of this narrative that everyones grandma was stuck and abused🙄
Right anything to throw men under the bus and for them to do the shit they really want to do.
WOMEN DO NOT MAKE MORE THAN MEN IN ANY RACE….they do however make more than they did and have more autonomy obviously… more careers etc.
We have to present correct data when speaking in these conversations.
In the USA where it's more women then men now with incarnation. Women are starting to make more
@@jeromebryant210those incarceration numbers are fluffed… far more men are free than locked up… and far more women have been getting locked up than ever before just going off the numbers… there hasn’t been any year BW make more than BM on median comparisons… people are extremely misinformed but the data is there
Women dont like actual statistics
Yea, I don't know why people keeps saying black women make more than any man these days when we do not make more than any man collectively. Now maybe they're talking about individual women make more than a lot of men... but....
Sorry, I wrote that lil paragraph just to say I AGREE WITH YOU.
I gotta stop doing that. lol. Only women like long-windedness.
@@jeromebryant210 The total U.S. male prison population is 1,230,100. Of that number 30% are African American. Meaning Only .0185% of the 20 million black men in America are in prison. Truth is that number is astronomically lower than it was in the 90s, but platforms like this are still perpetuating these factually incorrect narratives.
She started it off bad 😂 most ladies nowadays are saying they don't want to get married
I'm a 46 year old woman and I'm happy I never got married and I'm child free.
Incarceration, murder, LGBT, stress,obesity, diabetes, heart disease etc, poverty, being broke,mental health take a lot of men off the table
Children out of wedlock, murder, LGBT, stress, obesity, diabetes, heart disease, poverty, sexual deviance, being broke, mental health take a lot of women off the table as well. There are twice as many Black women in the US that have babies then there are Black men(50% - 25%). That means they are having babies by the same few men.
Ppl hate hearing that brotha brown
Grandma was trapped???? Wat. How do you know that to be true? Keisha and the simps are at it again I see.
You know that's some Western Feminism Bullshit Brotha.@Erin always on that Black Women Victimization Shit.
Exactly they think every relationship back in the day was like dealing Mr in the color purple.
Right! My grandma did not deal with that. They assume every black man in every generation is a piece of shit
@@fairviewgreensmade It's not all... might not even be most but it's an amount that is significant enough to mention. Take a poll of the people around you (family, colleagues, friends, acquaintances)... I don't expect men to know but some women's grandmothers preached living a life that wasn't congruent to the life they themselves lived. When I ask men is usually "Oh no my grandma respected and loved my grandpa", "she did this, this and this for him", "they don't make women like her anymore".
How do we know? Many have directly told their children and grandchildren, so the point is valid
The reason SOME of the women of yesteryear were in “trapped, abusive” situations is because they was trying some of the same stuff yaw women today do…but the men of past times were not the men of today, they wasn’t going for that. The black community is doomed. We can’t figure out how to make and keep proper families together, let alone a community of like minded folks building together.
I wish they would get some scholars, researchers, and historians on here. A lot of partial and inaccurate information spoken on here.
it really is disappointing
Sex is a poor man's luxury. This quote keeps coming back to me.
But it’s a luxury if I’m rich as well…
It’s luxury for rich or poor
Luxury for those who can get it
SEX is The King of Luxury! Sex brings my SEED which makes everything valuable or bondage-able To My Whole Existence.
Instead of having sex, men need to have healthy hobbies.
Why? If you are a man who, since the age of 25, has been doing the math and putting in the work to ensure that in the future it will be very unlikely that you will be homeless or broke, why would you willing introduce a variable that has the potential of destroying everything you have built?
Why take the chance in today's society?
Instead, lets just be long term friends with benefits, I treat you well and you do likewise. No need to get the government involved in an institution that has a divorce/misery rate of close to 80%.
How many people have you met who were truly happily married?
Personally I cannot recall meeting a pair.
I get what you’re saying but I know plenty of happily married couples, but it does require patience and sacrifice. Marriage is there to promote family and protect woman and transfer assets. It requires a lot trust on the part of the woman to stay with a partner outside of marriage.
The marriage math dont be mathing, plus satan rules this world and the courts follow satans rules, not Gods.
Same here
That's pretty sad. But, important to know that not everyone's experience. Personally, I could sit here and go down a list of "happily married couples" Ive interacted with. But, everyone's experiences depend on what spaces we commune in. Also, "happily married" could mean something completely different to people who are actually happily married vs. people who just want to get married. There's a lot to unpack in that conversation.
She’s arguing black boys are coddled but when she actually explains her definition of coddled it’s actually neglect. They missed it but she literally proved their point, she’s misnomering coddling for actually being neglected.
I think the question is how many times are you going try and update a system that doesn’t want the update?
She’s arguing from a perspective of equality. Boys and girls are different and should be raised differently.
I love the topics that come up I’m 42 single with two children I moved from up north to the south,ga I have yet too be able to have a great conversation with anyone.
Her character is so irra
She said our grandmothers were trapped in marriage because of the Feminist talking point. If any of my 3 boys bring home a woman like this, i will tell him to leave her.
If he doesn't listen, i write him out of my inheritance.
Marriage is teamwork ...can blk ppl talk about our blk reality in a relationship and for us to stop using rich Yt ppl as a example for our solution...😮
A lot of people forget the term "mamas baby daddys MAYBE' meaning grandma was creeping too... how many people found out their dads werent actually their dads
I agree, some people surround themselves with people of poor quality. That is why successful men leave the community to avoid making the same mistakes by being influenced by their environment.
One point, it was the early 80's in that footage Rico was referring too.
Yes. The girls thought it was funny af the time and seemed a bit immature to be mothers
36:20 His comment is on point!
Because there is no love and are not supportive of each other.😢
In my opinion from my experience it’s a lack of trust for women and their unpredictable emotions. Men are worried if they go all in with a woman and one day she can decide she doesn’t want you anymore she can take half of everything that she didn’t help you earn and potentially ruin your life. It’s not worth it!!
That part! 1:08:12 I hung up my Barbara the builder hat 5 years ago.
Erin keeps saying “ just listen “ but won’t listen.
I dont think a beta should talk about red pill topics. The hand movement and the way he dressed instantly gave me beta.
People have to understand, you have to work and build for marriage like you chase a career. Most people now want to have the fun, be promiscuous, and then be like, in the end, I'll get married. But the value of each other is the exclusiveness , not everyone had it.
She was loud and wrong and couldn’t accept it. She’s a clown
This guest is on point
Ngozi and chichi are Igbo names I enjoyed this conversation 🙏🏿🇭🇹
An OG said men do want to get married...but men can't tell the difference between marriage-able women because they blend in with the others.
OG woman here.😂
What makes a woman stand out in your mind?
I am African and I love this show but sometimes I wish they had an African on the show to clear up a few things. My grand father had multiple wives but that is not because "thats what Africans do". That comes from it being allowed in the Muslim faith! It is permitted only if you can afford to take care of two women and two families. Africans that are Christians do not seek to have multiple wives. And I even believe it is fair to say that present day Muslim men are no longer seeking to have multiple wives, as that way of thinking is becoming ancient. Present day, I do not know anyone Christian or Muslim from my generation or my mothers(born in 1960) that has multiple wives.
Took a lot for me to find my wife. I wanted a woman that wasn't a baby mama, and didn't have an ex list that looks like a grocery list . Then the respect is an important matter as well. There is seriously a lack of these women in our communities. Most importantly, I wanted a black woman. No other race of woman will replace sisters . Our women are our inheritance and leaving them to other races of men is foolishness. Find a good one and treat her right and make sure your daughters see this . Make sure your sons see this . Very important because they are our audience.
Man Rico well said bro this great conversation
Man was out here in a handicap match half the time…
Damn that's crazy because if a man shows they truly love their children, some women will use that against men like slave masters.
1:00:20 my man and I discussed this. We’re going to have both our boys and girls raised the same way, just like his parents made him do everything his sisters had to do.
@15:48: She asks why can two similar males have similar circumstances and go different directions.
The answer is simple. We all have a left brain and a right brain. When you lack reasoning on one side and you over compensate with the other side of your brain. Now some people can over compensate better than others.
However, when your example is of someone who is not able to over compensate at a higher level. And that is shown to them through multiple generations. You have this divide of who is able to thrive and who is stuck just surviving.
Which is how you get this division in children in our community.
At the end of the day, IT IS ALL OF OUR FAULTS OF HOW THIS CONTINUES FROM BOTH SIDES! It takes us all to heal what we didn’t break‼️
Erin doesn't never answer straight forward
She's a goal post mover
If you're using your spouses money to start a company, it's yalls company because u could not have started that company without the money. One persons money and the others idea
Relationships have lost their staying power. A man's staying power is fueled by duty, which men haven't really lost. The women's staying power was fueled by her dependency and her need for her man to survive, which women have lost because nowadays women don't need a man with a welfare system or education in place. I think for women to regain the staying power that a marriage requires, the woman needs to return to the home, and the welfare system needs to be dismantled, which I don't think most women will agree with.
If you look up the actual statistics more welfare was given to white people more than blacks during that time. The black man walked out, nobody pushed him out.
My brother got all the attention
, love and effort. Boys get freedom and everything else.
Not me
Speak for Yourself
Same for me. My parents loved the boys and raised the girls.
Black girls rock ect
I went to school for paralegal a prenuptial agreement is the easiest thing to break in a court of law... how is she a lawyer and don't know this
What kind of a lawyer is she
Look up the stats, This guest is dead wrong
He's Hella wrong.
What specifically is he wrong about?
DEAD WRONG
The stats don't show what you're hinting. It shows more men want & DO get married than actual women. This holds true for all groups besides Hispanics
They always wrong on this podcast. It's like listening to teens or children speak thinking they know everything
Women don't want to get married but want to have sex more than men. They feel that if you're bored then they'll cheat on men. They feel that if you don't give them anything without giving back then they'll cheat on men.
When a woman disrespect their fathers due to mothers brain wash them after divorce then you think that they are going to respect men? I think not. If I'm going to look for work to provide for my family then what gives you the right to be with another man knowing that I'm the bread winner that provides to our family yet you have another man in our home. Disgusting that a woman can be
In 80's baby can not and ever claim she was oppressed in any sort of way. Unless a chick is 1000 years old all the way to 150 then maybe, Im tired of hearing the BS argument of women being oppressed for sooooo long, no you wasnt, you 32 and havent been through nothing. At 2:40 mark.
Facts! Women be using the same argument of they alleged gma being abused in 1960 😑
48:56 Gloria STEINEM DID THAT! 😮
I am a bit confused about the subject of income. If women out earn men, why is income equality still a topic?
54:10 as a unmarried and child-free woman what qualifies me to check a woman I do not know? I can only check women I have rapport with.
Do you think that men who get checked are only by men who have a rapport with them?
She completely misunderstood the stat that all women only desire the same 10-20% of men. It's not race limited, it's of all men across the board no matter the race. Women may have to start looking in that lower 70% because not all men can be a top 10% man!
Yeah I refuse to be in relationship in this life time. I can build an empire on my own.
I definitely wasn't coddle by my mom so idk what she talking about. My mom showed tuff love
Grand parents stayed together to keep the family together!! And she say throw traditional out yet you want men to still pay for you and your baggage
I swear they always think everyone's grandma was getting beat and trapped in the house smh.
Facts
I know most people are in love with the idea of marriage, the image of marriage, not the sacred essence of a marriage.
If we are not in love the sacred essence of a true marriage, we're just BSing one another.
Yall please stop talking over each other love the content❤
Marriage has played out like Atari and parachute pants
But if you can’t trust or can’t be vulnerable then you can’t properly love .. or be loved ..
57:22 I see it too. I’m a product of this.
I’m.
I wish more people were honest about what they wanted. However, people also change over time. What if the man you choose changes their mind after 7 years of marriage? Now what? 28:35
Chasing a career and not wanting kids, 25 with multiple baby daddies, thotting on the internet, OF, disgusting Instagram pics, fake everything, feminism, and ratchet behavior and high expectations take a lot of women off the table
What’s wrong with the woman chasing her career and wanting the companionship with a man who also doesn’t want kids?
@@TuscanWonder nothing wrong with that scenario...but we're going off of the scenario where she actually wants a family and marriage, but puts her purpose on the back burner
58:51 In theory…
1:11:15 I think you should have said stay in your tax bracket… that sounds better than not focusing on money at all. It’s a priority but not the top priority. Character is.
I’m not gonna lie it’s difficult to listen to these conversations about the lack of viable options for black women. We put a lot of energy into trying reach and redeem awful partners. I was raised in a loving family with two loving parents, I’m emotionally a available have a stable job I’m relatively young looking and attractive for my age and I’ve been largely invisible to black woman my entire life. Educated lames need not apply.
Whom are you going after?
I really hate when people always go to somebody was hurt. Be a damn adult. That shit is not a excuses for most
It's simple...men in today's time are getting/have gotten smarter about marriage. Most men have way more to lose in the ordeal. Women think a man should marry them, just because it's them. It doesn't work that way realistically. If a man is essentially risking his life for marriage. His proposal should definitely be earned!
They always love to use that color purple crap like it was the norm for grandma to get beat up smh. We need some actual number on this otherwise women just keep recycling that same argument that grandma was being abused l, tortured whatnot.
Maybe I'm super traditional, I love my wife through the roller-coaster I can't imagine having multiple partners. It sounds good but it gets old.
When men say they want multiple wives, it prompts me to think that there’s something deeper that makes them feel that they can’t be with one person. I’m not going to say it’s right or wrong, but it does make me pause. About the fact that it’s not farfetched that they may also desire mistresses for their intimacy and sexual needs when the wives are not available or tied up with something else; given enough money, a man will see to him having women at his “Ready” for his needs. Do these men complain about the transactionality of having multiple women at their beckoning call? Is there any lessening of liability or risks in having multiple spouses? Is Nick Cannon’s paradigm one to follow?
Learn history and you’ll understand more.
@@getayereigns2438 That kingdoms have fallen?🤔
I love Erin so much, I'm glad she's on our side.
Her rhetoric and demeanor is holding you back thru ignorance
Her rhetoric and demeanor is holding you back thru ignorance
Her rhetoric and demeanor is holding you back thru ignorance
Let me say this you need to do what God's Word says and you need to live a God fearing life based on the Bible.We are in the last days and God's Word doesn't change so you living by the worlds standards and if you live that way you may not making to heaven.Those who says I wrong then tell me why am I wrong.
I think we just don’t want to be bothered. And over the last few years women have lied too much. They’ve done too much 😂
Accountiblity is the best asset, I'm just saying. Lying is not set for one gender, we all lie. The truth is were sick of each others lies. Men do grimey things just like women do. Stop playing the victim sir. I think we need to just leave each other alone for a bit focus on your own healing.
Kevin Costner's Prenup was being contested
If you are at the Top,middle,or bottom with a man. That's where we allow him to put us, or that's how you present yourself and that's how he treats you.
so you think you are equal with your man? stop it. Women want men that are stronger, faster, more logical, more accomplish, taller and then have the nerve to say, "we'er partners" or "we're equal". absolutely not. that man is a woman's SUPERIOR. That is why a woman gets with a man, because she feels he is better than her!
Grandma has always worked and made money...the pay gap was different and it is today.. especially the black woman. Nurse...home cleaning... service industry. The same jobs granny and great grandma did are the same jobs most women choose today.
This is crazy education must be add here. It was war world 2 men had to go fight and women had to work for the country.
Alan, stop interrupting if you're going to ask random questions and throw the conversation off.
Bcuz women and men when they become adults them can’t is not a deal breaker
The healthiest relationship you can possibly have in 2024 , or nowadays with all things considered, is a best friend! Not marriage! not kids! A friend that could take their ass home!
THEY NEED ANTON TO COME ON THIS SHOW
Africa is the only place where queens ruled ..
For 1000’s of years .. shoutout to Hatshepsut
And it was only like a couple tribes. Yah act like it was all over.
There are still grave consequences to inter racial date especially in most parts in United States....and even in some democratic states..i.e Johnathan Majors 😮
If she was so afraid of Mr. Majors why did she hit him and chase him when he walked away?
This is a prime example of not wanting to hold black men accountable for their actions. If she… what about him. The white man doesn’t always play a part, sometimes we do it to ourselves.
4:26 guy in denim shirt didn’t answer question.
Get rid of “No Fault “ Divorces and hold these women who files for divorce 80% of the time for a alimony check and a child support check accountable
Women don’t divorce men for no reason. That 80% talked about emotional and physical abuse, financial abuse, lies, cheating, lack of childcare help, unwillingness from men to participate in the home. Wants woman to do everything and work. It’s suppose to be a team, not a one woman show.
HAS ANYONE ON THIS PROGRAM HEARD OF JOY DE GRUY ?? GET HER BOOKS AND HAVE YOUR MYSTERIES CLEARED UP. Grace & rahabilitation for black/African ppl will only come from ourselves. No one else in the world is coming to save our ppl.
Yes that’s the up north frame of mind be rich in faith down south is all about money
Up north never had a rich in faith mindset. Have you met someone from up north very materialistic people
MGTOW for LIFE
I think all of this is bs and it doesn't make sense nobody on here sound like they know what they talking about to me they all sound like they single and I think that's the real problem single ppl who don't know shit about commitment more or less marriage
he told yall the answer in the first 2 mins ..m