Childfree by Choice: The Economics of Being Childfree

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  • Опубліковано 1 лип 2021
  • Childfree by choice? You're not alone, even if people make you feel weird about it.
    In this video Kara breaks down the history of marriage and children and how it informs our current feelings and social standards on having kids. We walk through the economics and costs of having children, how much Americans really live off of, and finally, Kara shares why she is childfree.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 228

  • @JessPendleton86
    @JessPendleton86 3 роки тому +39

    Loved this, thank you for starting the conversation!

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  3 роки тому +2

      thanks for watching!!

  • @anaisvandenbosch6249
    @anaisvandenbosch6249 2 роки тому +203

    A lot of people hate the idea of childfree people because it reminds them that it is a choice, which maybe they didn't realize it was, and just follow the path everyone walked on without evaluating the real repercussions.

    • @PeriwinkleB
      @PeriwinkleB Рік тому +11

      That honestly sounds super weird to me, because I could never do something because someone else is doing it. I was never one to follow the flow. I always have gone my own route because at the end of the day, it’s my life and my body. I could never have a baby because it’s a social norm or because my family told me to or because it’s expected of me simply for having a uterus.

    • @angelinakelly5554
      @angelinakelly5554 Рік тому +16

      @@PeriwinkleB I will say that I had never met a woman who had never had kids until my early 20s... It was like "what? you can do that, I'm totally doing that".... I still got tons of special pressure to have kids throughout the years. People try to make you feel like you are weird and broken.

    • @evilds3261
      @evilds3261 Рік тому +5

      @@angelinakelly5554 The irony is that when you embrace being "weird and broken" you can use it to justify why it would be a bad idea for someone "weird and broken" to have kids. Also, children are expensive and if you are struggling financially as it is, it is extremely unwise and inconsiderate to the child to bring them into a financially unstable situation.

    • @angelinakelly5554
      @angelinakelly5554 Рік тому +3

      @@evilds3261 but I'm not weird and broken for not wanting to have kids. That should be normalized. Also child rearing and finances are complicated. Someone could make that decision for themselves in that they don't feel like they can provide financially but that isn't something they should judge others for making a different decision.

    • @igors1234
      @igors1234 8 місяців тому

      @@angelinakelly5554 Child free should never be normalized, because it leads towards literal extinction (I hope I don't need to explain you how life and human societies sustain themselves). Ok if there are 1-10% of broken people, but when a significant part of society becomes dysfunctional, that's a disaster.

  • @kalistew4063
    @kalistew4063 3 роки тому +135

    Married with two kids, and some of my biggest supports are my child free by choice friends! Nothing but love to all womxm and whatever choice they make for their bodies and their lives.

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  3 роки тому +6

      100% agree!!

    • @FransceneJK98
      @FransceneJK98 2 роки тому +4

      You’re one of the rare mothers. Most attacks us CF folks and shove their opinions down our throats.

  • @5mayalevi
    @5mayalevi 2 роки тому +44

    I can’t imagine living off of that money for a FAMILY of three. As a SINGLE (not married, no children, don’t want to have any) female teacher in San Antonio, I am living on $70,000 and can’t imagine having to spread my income out over three people.
    My best girlfriend in England does-and they are truly struggling. Actually, they have two children-on the equivalent of $5000 less than my income. Hence why I go to visit her and go to Europe on vacation versus her coming home to the US. They can’t afford it. They don’t go on vacations, and rarely go out.
    Because of the financial stress, they sleep in separate bedrooms and have given up on marriage counseling. They speak wistfully of their time “pre kids” and say it was so much better.

  • @LoganAllec
    @LoganAllec 3 роки тому +73

    You also save hella time without kids and as a business owner time is money.

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  3 роки тому +19

      I honestly can't imagine running my business and having a child in my house right now.

    • @LoganAllec
      @LoganAllec 3 роки тому +11

      @@bravelygo It's an endless cycle of finishing the day thinking of how little work you got done, telling yourself you'll make up for it tomorrow or over the weekend, and then being preoccupied with children's activities and childcare tomorrow or over the weekend and getting very little work done, etc.

    • @bougiepeaches5497
      @bougiepeaches5497 2 роки тому +11

      I also don't want to do something that don't make me money and having kids is one if them.

  • @momoneymostuff
    @momoneymostuff 3 роки тому +105

    Sometimes I wonder if the women have kids and say such hurtful things aren’t lashing out because it never was presented to them that not having child was an option, and they’re angry. I know too many women with children who wish they didn’t have any. Anyway, everything you said is exactly where I’m at personally, financially, and ethically and I’m super excited to be the “fun aunt” haha!

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  3 роки тому +22

      I think it's a quote from the tv show "The Americans" but there's a scene where a woman with kids asks a woman without if she regrets not having them. The woman says "no....do you regret having them?" and I think about that a lot.

    • @lydiadubose2947
      @lydiadubose2947 3 роки тому +19

      I didn't even realize until a couple years ago that not having children was even an option. It blew my mind haha. I'm looking forward to being the "fun aunt" too and I love that the most supportive people in my life about me not having kids are my friends who do have children.

    • @momoneymostuff
      @momoneymostuff 3 роки тому +14

      @@lydiadubose2947 right!? I was in my mid-twenties when I was like “wait….I don’t HAVE to have kids?!” 🤯

    • @Childfree334
      @Childfree334 3 роки тому +12

      @@momoneymostuff Thank God we live in a country and cultures that give us a choice. Might not be a popular decision, but who cares? My life, my body, my choice.

    • @momoneymostuff
      @momoneymostuff 3 роки тому +9

      @@Childfree334 …if only we weren’t still fighting relentlessly for that “my body, my choice” part.

  • @cheyennemurray4491
    @cheyennemurray4491 2 роки тому +16

    It’s my money and I want it all to myself .

    • @igors1234
      @igors1234 8 місяців тому

      Ok, but when you retire, don't demand pension please. Because that will be money of my children who pay taxes and I don't want to share it with you!

  • @elittle1168
    @elittle1168 3 роки тому +68

    Really interesting and informative! I'm 33, married but no kids (undecided). The amount of times people have blatantly asked "when are you having kids?" is so infuriating! Plus its totally acceptable for a man to say he doesn't want kids 🙄 whatevs

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  3 роки тому +19

      Yes, why is it so much more of a *problem* when it's women who dont want them??? Let's examine the patriarchy y'all

    • @lydiadubose2947
      @lydiadubose2947 3 роки тому +13

      In my late 20's and SAME! There's so many different reasons someone might not want to get pregnant and being asked constantly is really insensitive.

    • @saturngirl3673
      @saturngirl3673 2 роки тому

      @@bravelygo because they thought they could ruin us. They did not they only did us a favor if they did leave. And having kids is a personal choice they shouldn't be able to sleep with women they have no intentions of dating.
      Sense we have to close our legs now the same could be applied to them too. They have their hands and toys they don't need us for that they could even hire a hooker and they might have condoms with them.

    • @sunnywintermorning1941
      @sunnywintermorning1941 11 місяців тому

      Are you still undecided? An update would interest us.

  • @sarahg9632
    @sarahg9632 3 роки тому +66

    I think the conversation is still uncomfortable (inter-generationally) because "choice" is not advertised to women in the same way it is to men. Hopefully we see choice entering the narrative as the generations progress forward

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  3 роки тому +12

      I agree; I think there is a lot of choice narrative aimed at women but only for certain topics. Like we can "choose" to get Botox or not...we don't have that same energy for women choosing to have kids or not.

    • @painexotic3757
      @painexotic3757 2 роки тому +3

      Wish people would stop making everything a gender issue. I'm a dude and I've been getting shamed for not wanting kids since I was 18 and still being told I'll change my mind well into my mid 20s.

    • @evilds3261
      @evilds3261 Рік тому

      @@painexotic3757 Wow, they want to shame you into making a poor financial decision and being stuck working thankless jobs to sustain an existence that never asked to be brought to this earth? Never give in to the pressure - this world hardly values its adults, thus, it only pretends to love children even though children cannot help but grow into adults through no fault of their own.

    • @spongebobcirclepants3843
      @spongebobcirclepants3843 4 місяці тому

      It’s definitely a gender is issue your probably a minority not the majority

  • @bonnielass82
    @bonnielass82 3 роки тому +41

    So much YESSSS! I'm child free and not married and an environmentalist! I'm a devoted follower of yours now

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  3 роки тому +8

      Thank you and welcome! Happy to meet another childfree babe out there

  • @vanissaberg5824
    @vanissaberg5824 2 роки тому +41

    I don't get it. Why are women always seen as supposed to love and want children and be around kids all the time, or we're seen as child hating monsters? I swear. 😒

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  2 роки тому +18

      Patriarchy, that's why.

    • @renek2913
      @renek2913 Рік тому

      Cus men managed to brainwash women for centuries that their role is to be a mother if not they are deem incomplete. Good thing there are more people esp the younger generation knows how wrong it is

    • @evilds3261
      @evilds3261 Рік тому +4

      @@bravelygo I'm a guy who sees children as financial liabilities. If there are other men out there trying to shame or pressure women into making a bad business decision - then they are not as logical as they'd like to think they are. Capitalism is all about self-interest - why bring more lives into this world if the world will not value said lives and all it does is make your own life stressful and empty? We can save a lot more time and money by not giving ourselves needless additional expenses. Why do anything that costs you more money than you are able to earn?

    • @igors1234
      @igors1234 8 місяців тому

      @@renek2913 You don't know how wrong your own ideology is and how you got brainwashed. Reproducing is essential part of any living society, no children = no future after you die.

  • @HaileysHealth
    @HaileysHealth 2 роки тому +57

    I think it’s naive that people say “Not having kids is selfish”.
    I can improve another life via volunteering. If I want to better a kid’s life, I could volunteer with foster youth or tutor kids who are poor, etc. Or like you said, help friends with THEIR kids!
    It’s only selfish if people are 100% about themselves and don’t care about others.

    • @renek2913
      @renek2913 2 роки тому +13

      People that foolishly pop out kids without any planning, money and time management are the real selfish ones. Our world have too many starving kids now because of those selfish people

    • @luciole6048
      @luciole6048 Рік тому

      You are right. I also wanted to emphasize that the decision not to have kids have nothing to do with being selfish. And by the way, many parents don't care about others and even sometimes about their own children. There are selfish people who have kids and selfish people who don't. The two have nothing to do.
      Also, people who don't want kids should not be expected at all to “make up for it" by taking care of other people's kids or volunteering. There is nothing to make up for; having children is an option and not an obligation. Also, many people don't want to have kids so that they can have more time, energy, attention etc. for themselves and/or their loved ones, and they should not feel pressured to use that time, energy etc. (that they are saving thanks to their decision) for other people.

  • @thebrightestrainbowever3841
    @thebrightestrainbowever3841 2 роки тому +20

    I am a non-binary lesbian who stumbled into being childfree in my late 20s. I am in my 30s now still feeling the childfree vibe & life for me! 💯💜🌈
    Thanks for recognizing and acknowledging queer folks :) in this! I appreciate that.

  • @gingertea123
    @gingertea123 3 роки тому +38

    Yes x1000. Bring on the child free chats!

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  3 роки тому +5

      More to come, I promise!!

  • @lisablackwell765
    @lisablackwell765 3 роки тому +49

    Great video! My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a couple of years now (mostly because it's important to HIM), and I found that most of the work of fertility also gets placed on the female even though male infertility is at least part of the problem 50% of the time. I can't even tell you (bc I don't want to know) how much I've spent on ultrasounds, injections, supplements, medications, a totally unnecessary hysteroscopy then a hysterosalpingogram, acupuncture, doctor visits, blood tests, etc. None of it is covered by insurance. I've been thinking lately I am about done with trying and I will be perfectly content without a mini me, so this video is timely for me.

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  3 роки тому +9

      oh my goodness, that is a LOT to go through and to spend money on! I'm sending good vibes to you to get a solution quickly; either a baby or feeling great about not having biological kids.

    • @lisablackwell765
      @lisablackwell765 3 роки тому +3

      @@bravelygo Thanks Kara, thanks for making this video! Can't wait to hear more!

    • @teacher9882
      @teacher9882 2 роки тому +16

      So true. We breaking up with my partner and we have been living together for 3yrs cause I’ve changed my mind. I’m turning 35 and he’s 40. He wants kids so bad. And I don’t think we have the energy to go through fertility tests and so on. I tried booking an appointment and the costs excluding medical aid are shocking.and that’s not the whole journey. A certain lady told me how much she spent on a failed IVF and I went🙅🏼‍♀️🙀and she’s is going to try again. I’m doing well for myself. I can’t see how a baby is going to make me wealthier or richer

    • @CoCo-yv3hl
      @CoCo-yv3hl Рік тому +9

      Why do women do that to their body & finances ? That’s seems psycho I couldn’t imagine wanting my partner to endure that so I could have a child. Wishing you the best ❤

    • @CoCo-yv3hl
      @CoCo-yv3hl Рік тому +1

      @@teacher9882hood for you ❤

  • @beaulieuonnp593
    @beaulieuonnp593 2 роки тому +23

    Who wants to get killed in childbirth too or have a murderer kid. Having kids could kill you. Nah, want my freedom to do what I want. Some childfree are aunts so they may spend money on nephews etc. I would absolutely HATE to give birth, the pain, the mess, the indignity, the vulnerability and the risk of death. No way #uk

    • @scorpionqueen66
      @scorpionqueen66 Рік тому +6

      Hard pass on the excruciating and horrific pain of childbirth!!! Especially the fact that a woman could DIE during this horrific process!!! I'm so glad that I chose not to give birth and I'm not sorry about my PERSONAL choices!!!

  • @emiliabedelia8906
    @emiliabedelia8906 2 роки тому +20

    Thank you for this! I’ve heard the comments on regret, and you cannot fully plan for kid so might as well just have one and not overthink it, and from my ex’s mom… “who will take care of you when you’re old?” I wasn’t planning on my kid being my retirement plan.
    I’m in my late 30s now, so the comments have definitely died down in more recent years. I just keep promoting my love of travel and saving for retirement. Everyone’s wants and priorities are different. I don’t judge those who want kids and I don’t want to be judged in return.

    • @renek2913
      @renek2913 2 роки тому +7

      Do people not realize that having kids doesn't guarantee their kids will take care of them in their old age? Also, how selfish can one be if the only reason they had kids was so that they have someone to take care of them?

    • @momentomalum1037
      @momentomalum1037 Рік тому

      @@renek2913 Interestingly enough the reason most people get put into care homes is dementia, this illness is well outside the ability of most individuals to handle hence the need for care homes. Why was this not the case in the past. Through the majority of history old age was late 50s-early 60s, very few lived into their 70s. One of the wealthiest individuals (a politician during prohibition with access to the best health care money could buy.) died at the age of 58. It is only in the late 20th century that lifespans have increased.

  • @tamarag5163
    @tamarag5163 2 роки тому +14

    Thank you for sharing your experience and for advocating for those who are also childfree by choice!

  • @MR-pw4zn
    @MR-pw4zn Рік тому +6

    We should organize ‘celebrate childfree life’ parties. So much fun 🤩

    • @igors1234
      @igors1234 8 місяців тому

      And promiscuity parties, and alcoholic parties, and smoker parties, and drug addict parties, and criminal parties. Name it in one word - degenerate parties.

    • @spongebobcirclepants3843
      @spongebobcirclepants3843 4 місяці тому

      I’m mad this doesn’t have more likes that would be so cool like a child free pride

  • @copypaste2667
    @copypaste2667 Рік тому +8

    You are absolutely 💯% right, I'm happy to see more people coming out about child free choices, it took me a long time to admit that I never wanted to have children 😀 now I'm pretty confident about this choice... cheers

    • @bennewman4675
      @bennewman4675 Рік тому

      Wather they say they want kids or don't want kids. Some people have it in them. To go with whatever there partner wants and some don't

    • @igors1234
      @igors1234 8 місяців тому

      Another woman that decided to waste herself. Just don't complain in your older ages that you starve and no one is helping you (retirement system might collapse by that time, because too few tax payers will have to feed to many child free pensioners).

  • @MovewithMarcia
    @MovewithMarcia 3 роки тому +15

    So happy to find you on this platform! WE OUT HEREEEEEEEEEEEEE! Can't wait to see this channel grow

    • @weston.weston
      @weston.weston 2 роки тому

      Yes! So happy to have her content on UA-cam!

  • @karamills2761
    @karamills2761 2 роки тому +5

    YAASS I have always felt the same about quite literally ALL of your points that you’ve made in this video. But, I’ve always unfortunately questioned my decision and expected regret because of how many other people have told me I should have children. So validating to hear someone feels the same way about how scary birth is. Thank you for making this video! 🌿

  • @ryannada1987
    @ryannada1987 Рік тому +6

    This is a really great, really smart video. I’m a childfree man by choice at 35. My Dad always complained about having kids and now he can’t understand why I don’t want kids. Lol.

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  Рік тому

      😆 parents, man.

    • @evilds3261
      @evilds3261 Рік тому

      Why did your father want you? Is he proud of you? Has he gotten what he wants? Or does he put a lot of one-sided expectations on you?

  • @TeachersTalkMoney
    @TeachersTalkMoney 3 роки тому +14

    Omg I JUST filmed a very similar video! I completely agree that everyone needs to take into account the hidden costs for (mostly) women, something that isn't reflected in that big $200k+ number. Love that you included this intersectional, historical perspective :)

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  3 роки тому +5

      Great minds and all that .... :) Thanks for watching!

    • @lisablackwell765
      @lisablackwell765 3 роки тому +2

      Is there a link to yours?

    • @TeachersTalkMoney
      @TeachersTalkMoney 3 роки тому +2

      @@lisablackwell765 Still need to edit and schedule it :)

  • @missbehelpful
    @missbehelpful 3 роки тому +13

    Yessss welcome to UA-cam Kara!!! We are SO happy you’re here!!! Love this video, this topic and all of the sides of the discussion that you raise. 31 and child free by choice to date. Loving my choice so far!!

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  3 роки тому +1

      THANK YOU BOO BOO! Happy to be here and just subscribed to your channel too!!

  • @ItsSageof
    @ItsSageof 2 місяці тому

    Your reasons for not desiring kids are very valid. I concur with you. Kids are not for everyone. The pressure is real for men and even more for women. These spaces are important. Great video!

  • @lyneberge
    @lyneberge 2 роки тому +4

    You took the words out of my mouth! Absolutely feel the same way! Thanks for this video! 🥰🥰

  • @FionaMacDonald
    @FionaMacDonald 2 роки тому +16

    Great video! I was like you growing up - never had any interest in kids or babies. I could never imagine 9 months of something growing inside my body - and then the whole birthing part 😱 My relatives were always like oh just wait until you are older… nope! Maybe working in tech helped because I was usually dealing with guys, there wasn’t any questioning about babies phew!
    I does blow my mind when I see things like women couldn’t get a credit card in their own name until 1974 - I was alive then 🤬🙄 America does seem very backwards in the whole social safety net - health care, family leave, abortion(!!!), etc.

    • @cheyennemurray4491
      @cheyennemurray4491 2 роки тому +8

      Same , I think of pregnancy are parasitic

    • @renek2913
      @renek2913 Рік тому

      Pregnancy is parasitic. The placenta that grow is indeed a parasite that take all the nutrients from the mum to the kids. Thats why it take 6 weeks for women to recover after childbirth and could be even longer if theres complications

    • @igors1234
      @igors1234 8 місяців тому

      @@renek2913 Retired child free are parasitic. They demand pension while they don't have younger descendants who pay taxes to pension fund. You guys should all work till your death to feed yourself and stop sucking money from pension fund.

  • @bexkalvoe
    @bexkalvoe 3 роки тому +4

    You hit the nail on the head. I’m in complete agreement and will be saving this video so I can share it with friends/family in hopes that they can better understand my views and personal choices. Thank you! ❤️

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  3 роки тому +1

      Thank you! I appreciate the kind words 💛

  • @weston.weston
    @weston.weston 2 роки тому +1

    So happy to see your channel, looking forward to supporting your content!

  • @MAGAwithVengeance
    @MAGAwithVengeance 2 роки тому +10

    I’m a dude and I get shamed for my choice not to have kids.

    • @renek2913
      @renek2913 Рік тому +2

      Tell them to mind their own business. It's your life to live, not theirs. Better to cut off contact with toxic people

    • @evilds3261
      @evilds3261 Рік тому +3

      I never get shamed because I simply sound like a psychopath when I describe how expensive it is and any time people try to convince me that having a kid is something I would want - they never provide any upsides. There are more costs than benefits to having a kid. I NEVER ASKED TO BE BORN - I AM NOT OBLIGATED TO FULFILL THE EXPECTATIONS OF THOSE WHO BARELY OR HARDLY CONTRIBUTE TO MY WELL-BEING. "You're selfish" "So? Life is unfair, and since I was brought to life unfairly, I can be as unfair as I please."

    • @igors1234
      @igors1234 8 місяців тому

      Because having kids is vital for society. If there are no kids, society will vanish when everyone dies of old age. Also, if depopulation is too fast, most elderies will starve to death when they retire, because too few taxpayers will have to feed too many pensioners.

    • @igors1234
      @igors1234 8 місяців тому

      @@evilds3261 You don't sound like a psychopath in this comment, you sound like a child.

  • @elizabethsmith4674
    @elizabethsmith4674 2 роки тому

    This came up in my recommended videos (I've been watching tons of CF videos lately) and I feel the same as you on a lot of your points! Thanks for the great content.

  • @leileleileleile
    @leileleileleile 3 роки тому +2

    Yeah Kara!!! Thanks for this video! Looking forward to more videos from you and Bravely Go 💕

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  3 роки тому +1

      thank you so much!! More goodness to come. Any topics you want to see covered?

  • @alyssabeanz
    @alyssabeanz 3 роки тому +3

    Fire first UA-cam video! I feel the same. Thank you for making this video! Sending it to my child free by choice friends!

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  3 роки тому +2

      Thank you for the kind words and for sharing!

  • @nataliachorazy8818
    @nataliachorazy8818 2 роки тому +4

    Fantastic UA-cam debut! I came from your Instagram and I’m exited to see where you take this channel. Your Instagram stories always left me wanting more.
    Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us.

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  2 роки тому

      thank you so much! Hopefully we can do more deep dives on this platform :)

  • @hexy55
    @hexy55 3 роки тому +4

    This was a great kickoff video! So informative and honest. It really lived up to your title: bravely go. Brava! subscribed

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  3 роки тому +1

      thank you! This is so sweet of you to say and welcome to the Bravely family!

  • @tizianapirola7779
    @tizianapirola7779 3 роки тому +25

    Great video! I feel that being terrified of pregnancy and childbirth is not taken by most people - women and men. Excuse me? It's met with so much effing judgment, like I'm some sort of coward or selfish person for being completely, clench-in-my-chest scared of the pain.
    Being terrified is valid!
    And also I'm worried about taking care of my parents when they get old. Even in a country with universal health care like Italy, care for the elderly is hella expensive! (I'd love a video about the economics of an ageing population!)

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  3 роки тому +10

      I agree people gloss over the HUGE physical impact of kids. Like people DIE in childbirth, sorry I'm afraid of that!?!!

    • @Childfree334
      @Childfree334 3 роки тому +7

      I saw a childbirth video in health class when I was in middle school and it solidified my decision not to have kids. Monthly periods are bad enough.

    • @tizianapirola7779
      @tizianapirola7779 3 роки тому +4

      @@Childfree334 I was spared that experience, but in my late teens/early twenties I joined a feminist community in which women of different ages and walks of life shared their experiences, and there were many horrifying stories about childbirth. What struck me as the worst is the practice of episiotomy, which is apparently still very common, and I was like "I will never put myself in a situation that can involve stitches around my vagina". Ever. If the fear of this kind of pain is still not seen as valid, then women haven't reached equality.

  • @Mzgoldenhoney
    @Mzgoldenhoney 10 місяців тому +3

    People: Who don't take care of you when you get old?
    Me: Money😂😂😂😂

    • @igors1234
      @igors1234 8 місяців тому

      Money is just a tool to buy things that are made by working people here and now. If there are too many retired people with money and too few workers, the savings of the retired will shrink in value multiple times.

    • @spongebobcirclepants3843
      @spongebobcirclepants3843 4 місяці тому +1

      Or the people that didn’t have children will be the only ones with enough money to pay people to take care of them or people will be forced to change the world because people aren’t having children and there will naturally be less consumers honestly I think it’s the only way the world will change and some will suffer in the process but with great sacrifice come great rewards

  • @icedmatchalattegirl
    @icedmatchalattegirl 2 роки тому +1

    You’re gorgeous! Thank you for sharing. Really enjoyed this.

  • @jessiquilla1
    @jessiquilla1 Рік тому +3

    I so appreciate your honesty and totally agree with you re: why you’re childfree! Thank you for helping normalize our choice :)

    • @igors1234
      @igors1234 8 місяців тому

      Something that leads society towards extinction should never be normalized.

  • @ChildfreeFamily
    @ChildfreeFamily 2 роки тому

    Great video! Keep them coming.

  • @kelseyblackwell1483
    @kelseyblackwell1483 2 роки тому +2

    I’m with you!

  • @ZiggyMarleyQT
    @ZiggyMarleyQT 2 роки тому

    Omg I love this vid!!! I can so relate child free and an environmentalist, this motivates me to never change my way of thinking 🙃 and to keep ignoring the pressure and opinions of people. 😌 thank you for this!!!.
    Can you do a vid on first time homebuyers and or investing on a property? 🙏

  • @beaulieuc8910
    @beaulieuc8910 2 роки тому +4

    Good video. I am scared of childbirth too. Even if it was not painful, I still don't want kids. I am not a nurturer. I don't really like humans ie narcissistic, cruel, criminal, untrustworthy, you name it. Every single time I see a horrific crime show, I glad my lucky stars I am not a parent of a criminal or a victim. I have never been interested in kids. I enjoyed the women's history of the US. My relative was divorced around the time of the Civil War and her husband was a slave trading scumbag and she lost custody of her kids as you say, that was done at the time.

  • @HungerSTR1KE
    @HungerSTR1KE Рік тому +1

    Thank you for this video. Your points are extremely articulate and thoughtful. I really appreciate your attention to this topic. The thing that always gets me is the point you made that society immediately assumes women who wish to remain child-free are doing womanhood wrong or don't even know what they want or can't trust themselves to know what they want. A lot of women get this reaction when they ask for sterilization procedures or even LARC birth control methods - like the assumption is you're GOING to want to get pregnant in the next 2 years so why even bother with long-acting birth control. This just contributes to poor health outcomes. Some states still have old laws on the books requiring husbands to be advised of a woman getting her tubes tied, or even to co-sign. Getting back to your point about economics and fertility being weaponized against women. This is so rude and obscene. You're right - a mix of pity, anger and suspicion for sure. Like you said - we just kicked their puppy. This is a ridiculous reaction that doesn't help anybody in the long-term. Unfortunately, my OB-GYN sees a future where our fertility in the US actually declines (even post-Roe) as more couples see the risk of trying to have kids as just not worth it because of our high maternal mortality rate, inability to pay for kids, and lack of bodily autonomy women must endure during and after pregnancy. American society makes it quite clear that if and when a woman has kids, she's on her own and could even be criminalized for her choices about when and how to parent. Compared to our peer nations, the US is quite hostile to families and women.

  • @FransceneJK98
    @FransceneJK98 2 роки тому +5

    I’m happily childfree by choice. But it seems it’s hard to find decent men who don’t have or want kids.
    Ps: I wouldn’t wanna pay more taxes just so people can go on parental leave. It was their choice to have a kid. Deal with it. Don’t put the burden on the rest of us cuz you wanna take paid leave. Use your annual accrued leave.

  • @rebekahchilders1195
    @rebekahchilders1195 3 роки тому +17

    Oh goodness. So many thoughts. I’m so lucky to be in a place where I’ve always wanted kids, found a partner who’s always wanted kids, and had zero problems getting pregnant or giving birth. So much privilege. I, however, will never not be furious at the lack of education there was for what it will really be like when you have kids. If you’re giving birth, your brain changes. Literally, it’s science. Also, as you talked about, there is no structural or societal support for people who give birth or who have children in other ways. I’m going on 4 years out of the workforce, and it was a choice that I made when I didn’t have to, but now that I’m ready to go back, I can see how the odds are stacked against me. Options are so limited. And yes, climate change. I’m also furious I didn’t know as much as I do now about how incredibly fucked our ability to survive on this planet is. Definitely not looking forward to the conversations I’m gonna have with my kids. But as someone who faces existential dread every day, at least I’ll be able to offer support. Thanks for talking about this. I have so many childfree-by-choice loved ones who struggle to be seen and understood. These are such ridiculously personal choices, it hurts my heart that anyone should have to explain themselves for it, but once again, your talking about it is making something visible that so many refuse to see.

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  3 роки тому +1

      Thanks for sharing all your thoughts and experiences! I actually didn't know birth changed your brain but I'm unsurprised.

  • @Europa1749
    @Europa1749 Рік тому +1

    Neither of my children have kids which is more than fine by me. But I told someone that the other day and the woman was immediately confrontational and defensive. She has several grand-children which is probably the reason she was affronted that I was perfectly fine without them.

  • @antonietapintorebelo5020
    @antonietapintorebelo5020 Рік тому +5

    Also, capitalism isn't built to raise kids. If we had other system, that could support the raise of a child in a much easier manner, maybe that would help people to decide to have kids. But again, this is a choice for each one on what they feel it is right. I am undecided about kids, and my partner wants kids. It has costed us our relationship. And, I am starting to realize that child-free is looking more into my path... and my partner well I feel like she romanticism having kids a bit too much, we ain't even stable to tackle this. I wish she was more flexible about kids

    • @renek2913
      @renek2913 Рік тому

      Having kids is a huge responsibility and I seen too many people incapable of raising kids. You could try babysitting for a few weeks together with your partner. Maybe she would change her mind about it once she see the reality of having kids. Right now, in her mind, she's only seeing the positive side of having kids but she doesn't see the negative side

    • @antonietapintorebelo5020
      @antonietapintorebelo5020 Рік тому

      @@renek2913 Hi Rene, thanks for replying! My best friend is having a baby soon. Him and his wife will need help for sure. We live in other country that is not our home. And we don't have the same access to nannys like we do in our home country. So, I am here for them to baby sit! And I am ready to take on to support them. Who knows how will I feel about kids. Also, indeed, she only seeing the positive, and she too stubborn to see the negative. She ain't stable for kids at all, and the timeline she wants is very unrealistic due to her lifestyle. But, anyways, we already broke up. Rene I hope you have a good day! Thanks for replying

  • @danielnoguera2219
    @danielnoguera2219 2 роки тому +3

    Hi! Thanks a lot for this video. Im from argentina, and actually I am currently going through a separation with my partner of the last ten years, because i dont want to have kids. Its very sad, but ill be totally selfish to me to have a kid with the only reason for dont break the relationship. We need much people like you saying trulie facts about be parents. In my country the society dont think deeply whats mean have a child in a unstable economy. And here "born" a lot of problems, like crimes and violency. Thanks a lot for this videos. And sorry for my english. Cheers!

  • @paulgiro3235
    @paulgiro3235 6 місяців тому

    ❤EXCELLENT COMMENTARY

  • @agustinbernal9706
    @agustinbernal9706 2 роки тому

    Totally agree!! Specially reason number 2.
    Saludos desde México.

  • @moonshadow6292
    @moonshadow6292 Рік тому +7

    I'm surprised people still want to have kids these days..I personally think it's selfish to bring a child into this.

    • @igors1234
      @igors1234 8 місяців тому

      Into what? People with your mindset is the biggest problem in modern society. Everything else is more or less fine.

  • @sweepandsooty
    @sweepandsooty Рік тому +1

    I LOVE this video - I don't think I've ever found someone who is on exactly the same wavelength as me. All of my reasons are the same as yours 😂

  • @Albert-gv2px
    @Albert-gv2px 2 роки тому +2

    Thanks for the video it's nice to hear from like minded people ☺️

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  2 роки тому

      You're not alone in this choice!

  • @doingjustfine9401
    @doingjustfine9401 Рік тому

    Thank you from Australia.

  • @urbrt2653
    @urbrt2653 7 місяців тому

    CFBC checking in

  • @aynapaisley
    @aynapaisley 3 місяці тому

    I think that the stigma of chilfree people comes from higher levels because governments of all countries depend on people making babies. They need the working/tax paying force, many countries already experiencing demographic problems some countries are on the brink of a catastrophe (especially the ones that do not benefit from immigration like USA).

  • @intheknowwithmo
    @intheknowwithmo Рік тому

    I don't know how this came across my feed, but i don't blame you one bit. I completely understand why a lot of people are choosing not to have kids. I used to be this way. I told my family that I wasn't having kids unless I got married for years while growing up and in my 20's. It's HARD enough just to take care of one self let alone another life. I'd be kidfree if I wasn't married.

  • @DO-NOT-WATCH
    @DO-NOT-WATCH 3 роки тому +7

    Antinatalism for the win!

    • @igors1234
      @igors1234 8 місяців тому

      Antinatalism is leading to a self-destruction in it's core. The more child free, the less child free in a few decades.

  • @X3N14
    @X3N14 Рік тому +2

    There seem to be a lot of women who got suckered into having children, and who now see how hard it is on them in particular (because women do most of the work) and they get mad at childfree women for not wanting to do the same. It says nothing about me as a person, they feel slighted because of their own issues with their choice to have or want children.
    People who go out of their way to tell childfree women that they are selfish are so f-ing hypocritical, rude and misogynistic. First of all, having children just because you want them is inherently selfish, so they’re hypocrites. Nobody is choosing to have children for the sake of society. Second of all, they never scold childfree men like that. I used to try to be polite when explaining my stance, but you get treated like you don’t know what you’re talking about anyway (even though it’s my life and womb they’re budding into). So now, I just match their energy.
    There’s a clear shift in society, that started with women having less children that had now progressed to women not wanting children at all. There’s also a lot of women I see, who want or have just one child. Society doesn’t like that much either.

  • @trackgirl71
    @trackgirl71 3 місяці тому

    New subscriber❤️

  • @brendenm4338
    @brendenm4338 2 роки тому +2

    How does 29% go to housing????
    That makes no sense. I already live in a house. I didn't add another room in my house.

  • @efuller3333
    @efuller3333 Рік тому

    Would interesting to hear of a comparison with different parts of the country and other countries altogether

  • @biobelewilliam-west1310
    @biobelewilliam-west1310 Рік тому +1

    August 1 Happy International CHILDFREE Day

  • @mumbai1119
    @mumbai1119 3 роки тому +6

    I thought these things about imposing marriage , childbearing , child raising ONLY AND ONLY LAY ON WOMEN these things happen ed only in India
    Surprise surprise these shit happens around the world especially in far more DEVELOPED countries tooooooo

  • @chefboyardee4467
    @chefboyardee4467 10 місяців тому +2

    Child free for me. Why? If the numbers don't crunch, there is no lunch

  • @arnoldk7293
    @arnoldk7293 11 місяців тому +1

    I certainly understand that easier to invest in some dog or cat instead of human. Very smart calculations!

  • @bp6877
    @bp6877 2 роки тому

    I did not agree with everything you said but you argued you're points very very well and for that I gave you a thumbs up I look forward to listening to future podcast from you

  • @kdud2799
    @kdud2799 5 місяців тому

    I'm totally with you on the part of climate change. I mean no parent would want to take their children to an unhealthy and chaotic place. So if I'm not ok with the way the society is, why should I bring my children? Anyway, aside that, personally, having kids isn't really my thing, except unless I'm the only fertile female on the planet that can do so. So for now, since there are many fertile female who are happy and ok to have kids, I don't see why I should go out of my way to displease myself!

  • @potter5647
    @potter5647 6 місяців тому

    Whats your opinion on Stop Having Kids vegan-childfree-antinatalist community?

  • @parler8698
    @parler8698 Рік тому

    Is it possible to have children OR to not have children without Virtue Signaling?

  • @nameless9851
    @nameless9851 Рік тому

    I like to have children, yet only after 35. I don't want my children to bury me early, though, so I guess you see my problem here. I've always been a late bloomer, the type who's much behind anyone in life. Yet I realized it is not a problem at all, I enjoy my youth even if I'm not super young anymore cause who cares.

  • @BackupChannel-nq6fg
    @BackupChannel-nq6fg 4 дні тому

    7:58 8:00 what about the Middle East?

  • @punxnotdead3873
    @punxnotdead3873 Рік тому +3

    People need to stop thinking a woman's job is to have kids. Religion is a big issue . Pushin creation from young age.

    • @Dan-ys8nk
      @Dan-ys8nk Рік тому +1

      Exactly. Religion indoctrinates people into thinking it’s shameful to be child free. This is a primary reason why people remain ignorant and judgmental.

    • @igors1234
      @igors1234 8 місяців тому

      @@Dan-ys8nk But child free are the ignorant ones. You lost connection to reality and got no idea how a healthy or at least living society functions.

    • @igors1234
      @igors1234 8 місяців тому

      You are the big issue, leading society towards decay and extinction.

  • @republicofsandles
    @republicofsandles 2 роки тому +8

    Non-binary and I don't want kids.
    Children are wonderful, but I don't think being a parent would be good for me.

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  2 роки тому +3

      SO important that we know what works in our OWN lives.

  • @demitrijones6922
    @demitrijones6922 Рік тому +2

    I don't want to be on a planet with all the smart ppl gone.

    • @evilds3261
      @evilds3261 Рік тому

      Truly smart people are skilled at making the ignorant self-destruct. If stupid people remain after all is said and done, it means the smart people were not smart enough.

    • @igors1234
      @igors1234 8 місяців тому

      Child free aren't smart, so not a big loss.

    • @igors1234
      @igors1234 8 місяців тому

      @@evilds3261 "Truly smart people are skilled at making the ignorant self-destruct." This statement makes no sense. If someone willingly lives a self-destructible life, he is stupid.

  • @oceania4681
    @oceania4681 Рік тому +3

    People with kids get huge tax breaks. That’s how they can afford them

    • @evilds3261
      @evilds3261 Рік тому

      But do they make more money in the long run? Also, not every country has those tax breaks - and sometimes products cost more than taxes. It's about doing the math. As the cost of living gets more and more expensive, such tax breaks will hardly be sufficient. Also, if your experience with life is not a good one, then why would you wish such an experience onto another person who never signed up for the circumstances they would be brought into?

    • @igors1234
      @igors1234 8 місяців тому

      1) Tax breaks only cover a small part of child expenses 2) Reproducing is a vital part of a living society, and it's reasonable to help families grow their children 3) I wish there was a special tax for child free, so that your money would help people who actually invest in future of our society instead of selfish short term goals.

    • @fluorite1965
      @fluorite1965 4 місяці тому

      Still isn't worth having children.

  • @ianbuick8946
    @ianbuick8946 2 роки тому +3

    That's why i'm walking with head held high and shoulder back. I'm a millionaire! In seriousness, It's the children that taught me:
    They taught me how to deal with stress at 2 AM.
    They taught me how budgeting for family.
    They taught me how to prioritize tasks and eliminate the distractions.
    How to conflict resolution with the unreasonable people (think 2 years old).
    How to make sacrifice.
    How to communicate with the uncommunicative.
    How to be leader and lead by example. No lazy chair for me, at least.
    How to be steward to the environment. Yes, i'm the dad who turn off all the light after leaving the room. Remind my kids to turn off faucet while brushing teeth. Only dad touch the thermostats in the house. We plant two pear tree this spring and looking forward for their fruit 4 years down the road.
    How to teach and care for one another.
    How to love and forgive because sometimes, father forgets.
    and last and not least
    How NOT to give in to easy choices. But rather take life challenges as memories. Remember the time when i had to drive to different drug stores at 1AM to find infant fever killer. I'll remember when my boys hesitated on first day of school and held on to my fingers begging me to stay. I remember when i taught them to read a whole word DOG at the age of 4. I remember when my older son tell me, he wants to be like me when grow up.... Parenthood is not for the everyone. Only those whose bold enough to walk the narrow road fill with constant challenges as they go on the journey.

    • @caronadams4486
      @caronadams4486 Рік тому

      And you didn't even give birth to them. That probably would have broke ya.

  • @parler8698
    @parler8698 Рік тому

    Committed relationship ...if we broke up.

    • @Ella-te7fe
      @Ella-te7fe Рік тому +3

      That is called maturity, knowing that even committed relationships may not last forever.

  • @keyhimself3542
    @keyhimself3542 2 роки тому

    Soon as you got political I decided it was time for me to end this video.
    Why do so many of you have to bring politics into this discussion?

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  2 роки тому +10

      thanks for leaving a comment to boost in the algorithm so more people can see the video you hate :)

    • @keyhimself3542
      @keyhimself3542 2 роки тому

      @@bravelygo well I figure since you only have a shot glass full of subscribers I would help you out a little bit.

    • @bravelygo
      @bravelygo  2 роки тому +6

      @@keyhimself3542 this channel has 90x your channels subs so

    • @keyhimself3542
      @keyhimself3542 2 роки тому +1

      @@bravelygo lol @ you bragging about having more subs than a channel with no videos.

    • @Dan-ys8nk
      @Dan-ys8nk Рік тому +1

      @@bravelygo just saw this video and I am a fan of what you said. Let haters raise attention to your profile as they criticize and then fade into obscurity. Thanks for sharing your opinions.

  • @shigor
    @shigor Рік тому

    "I am childfree, and i am also unmaried". You already lost me there. I am glad you chose to be childfree.

    • @igors1234
      @igors1234 8 місяців тому

      You're glad that someone decided to eliminate their genes? Wow. A few decades ago genocide was considered evil.

  • @love__and__hope__
    @love__and__hope__ 2 роки тому +2

    Why you need a house or too much money if you dont want kids? For buying luxury cars and purses? That is so selfish.

    • @dergluckliche4973
      @dergluckliche4973 2 роки тому +24

      Who is being deprived of anything by a child-free person spending their money on what they like?

    • @meiimacca4054
      @meiimacca4054 2 роки тому +25

      Maybe for giving to charity, helping their own extended family or saving for retirement? Nothing more selfish than having a kid. Bringing a whole new life into thr world just because you WANT to

    • @RawrieAddicted
      @RawrieAddicted 2 роки тому +25

      So only people with children deserve money? LOL

    • @user-rm1lm3rt7e
      @user-rm1lm3rt7e 2 роки тому +8

      Selfish against whom these children that don't exist the children we don't have I'm genuinely curious?

    • @love__and__hope__
      @love__and__hope__ 2 роки тому +2

      @@user-rm1lm3rt7e Selfish against pensioners that worked hard for 40 yrs and wont get enough for good life.