I believe most women and men love the IDEA of having kids but do not understand what it's really like to have them. Before deciding, expose yourself to that environment; volunteer at daycare centers, babysit, etc. Also, be around kids with severe conditions like Down Syndrome, ADHD, Autism, so if your kid ends up having those, you would know how to handle them or at least get an idea of what life will be like for you.
Exactly. I was about to bend under the pressure everyone put on me, painting the parenthood picture like something I was really missing out on...and then I decided to take a nanny job. Oh man, I am SO SURE of my decisions now
Feels validating that someone would acknowledge how hard adhd is. Im used to people just being annoyed at me as though its a small thing i could kill via willpower. My partner is autistic. I doubt we could handle a child, but i will help my friends and community as much as i can.
Having kids because you think it will make YOU happy, or make YOU feel complete, or make YOU feel fulfilled, or because YOU don't want to feel like YOU'RE being left behind, or because YOU want someone to take care of YOU when YOU grow old - that's selfish. The only reason to have a kid is when there's so much love in you that you can't help but to want to share that love with someone else; same goes with having a partner.
I do feel like I have a lotttt of love to give but I still see that this is a responsibility bigger beyond anything imagination. So I am not willing for it.
It's not completely true wanting a child should be a little SELFISH no one is strong enough for dedicating their life to a child for the sake of love without deep personal value. OF COURSE wanting to give love should be the main reasons the cement who build your want to have children. But you need to puth value on your actions. Giving yourself reason to have this life and feel true to yourself. That certainly come with INDIVIDUAL need like happiness or fulfilment who are essential to a person mental health. Thinking that managing your life with children can make you feel happiness and feel fulfillment is NOT SELFISH. It's completely normal all of our choice are responses to some desire EXACTLY like childfree peoples who want to prioritise something else for their OWN happiness. Parents aren't robots or saints without desire and goals. I'm just agreeing with the two last reasons that's fair. Children aren't your or your therapist or your pension for your old days.
I'm a Sr. Citizen and I get tired of other people telling me that I'm going to be lonely and miserable, because I'm not a mom and a grandma!! Have been childfree by choice for a very long time now and I have never changed my mind!! I'm not lonely and miserable by any stretch of the imagination!!! I live a full life, I'm active in my church and other organizations. Especially Sr. Citizens groups. I also enjoy traveling and not having to be home by a certain time. I have always enjoyed my freedom of being able to come and go as I please. I enjoy spendIng time with the relatives that I have left and all my good friends.
Also, having children and grandchildren does not guarantee the person won’t be lonely. People use that argument like having kids will 100% prevent loneliness. You never know what you’re gonna get with kids. Maybe they won’t like you, maybe they’ll be disabled and you’ll have to take care of them for the rest of their life, etc. I’m glad you’re doing well and hope you continue to do so. People have this stereotype of older people like they shouldn’t be active and doing things and should always be home. I think it’s an unfair myth that older people are too old to do anything. I hope if I ever live to be old I’ll be able to stay kicking around and living my best life.
LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE AT THE BACK 🗣🗣 I absolutely agree with everything! 👏🏽 Nothing is ever guaranteed and people are going to judge anyway so yes, live your best life ✨
I'm a man and I've come to the decision that it's very unlikely I'll ever want to have kids. I agree there is much more pressure on women to have kids and it's quite irresponsible and sickening tbh. I do think men face pressure to have kids as well but in more subtle ways. Thanks for the video!
@@bennewman4675 I agree. I love being single and think I'm better off being partner-free. Many people don't consider this either. I still think I'd enjoy having a partner but I'd still need to prioritise my own needs and personal freedom because I value this a great deal.
At this point, I have learned to care less about what society or other people think. As long I'm not harming anyone, I will keep living however as I like. Tbh, the judgement doesn't end even if you end up having kids. "You only have 1 kid? You should give that kid a sibling" "why are you not at home taking care of your kids" and so on. All of these I personally heard from people so yeah, there's no point listening to outsiders cus you know yourself best
I heard someone say once: ‘you think you want a baby/kid? Yes? Okay, go take a nap. Did you enjoy that nap? Yes? Don’t have a kid.’ 😂 laughable but also not funny at all cause it’s real
Brilliantly said. There are times when I legit don't wanna live anymore, and people assume not having kids = selfish. Nah, until the world becomes good / better, I ain't gonna bring another person here.
I’m sorry to hear that 🤍🤍 Exactly! How it can be selfish is beyond me but then again when it comes to the retaliation we hear, a lot of it isn’t rooted in logic 🤭
Women don't owe this world any kid/kids, no matter what. Motherhood is not an obligation. It's totally ok to be childfree. Childbirth is horrific and i am terrified of childbirth, and that's one of the many primary reasons, I don't want any kid/kids ever.
Funny, but I have never been one to care about popular opinion or societal expectations/pressures. I will always do ME no matter what everyone else says or does. Childfree, always will be, and proud of it. To those who disagree with my life choices, I will give them 3 guesses as to where they can go.
It had to be said! 👏🏽 I really hope so too, there are too many people out here who should’ve never been parents 🤭 I just hope that this video makes people think very carefully about their choices 🤞🏽
I loved when you talked about "legacy".... those were the exact words of my ex, he wanted children "to carry on his legacy"... in the end, this fundamental difference among other reasons made us take separate ways, he is now married with children and I have found a partner who shares my same view and values, together we have come to the conclusion to be a childfree-little family.
Another conditioning is that as a parent you're suppose to love and enjoy all that comes with it holistically without regret. This is probably the reason why we don't see a lot of parents openly admitting their regrets and those who do receive backlash and shame.
I love the part about who is going to carry on your legacy? "What legacy is this? Is there a kingdom you are leaving..." My point exactly! I am the 2nd person in my family to graduate college but I'm by no means well off as a result. If I had kids, the most valuable thing I would be able to leave them is good advice on the things I've learned along the way. And they would stand to benefit, if THEY would choose to listen. There are many great things that could happen, but the struggle of the black experience is real and is one of the biggest challenges they would face. I would worry in my grave about whether my kids would have the fortitude to survive, mentally, emotionally and economically. At this point, I don't have to worry about children that I don't have, or plan to have.
You made a great point that I think about often regarding people who see childfree people as selfish... It just begs the question, "who am I being selfish toward?! I can't take resources away from a child that does not exist so who else am I going to spend my time and resources on, but myself and my husband.. What would be selfish is if I had a kid and still satisfied my own wants and needs over the needs of my child. I'm glad you brought that up :)
I have decided to remain child free because I think it's not a social obligation to have kids. I am more happy with pets as my kids and I loooooove them❤️
I am childfree by choice and then when I turned 30 got a health diagnosis that makes having children harder. I'm also a teacher who sees so many people jump into childhood too lightly for my liking. Currently, I have never seen more men on online dating sites mention "wanting to have kids" in my whole life 🙄
I would let my mother rot in a run down nursing home for sure. She never let me forget that she regretted having kids even as she continued to get pregnant by weak men and push those bad decisions on me. Now I’m traumatized by being forced to be a mom before I was competent, and I don’t want to ever go through the pain of not being able to be the adult that adorable and innocent child needs.
Lauren, thank you for making this video. I think I found my soul family amongst you and the people in the comments. When people ask me are you going to have kids, I'm like "are you going to take care of them?" Are you gonna provide the nannys and babysitters for the self care, alone and vacation time that I'm gonna personally require? I'm the only child (and crave my solitude) but my mom is one of 13 and my grandpa is one of 11. Imma let my cousins have the kids and I'm going to enjoy the richness of my space, my freedom, being able to come and go as I please, and exploring all of what life has to offer. Being a mom is not something you can drop out of like an organization. Once you're in, you're in. No take backs, no I don't like being a mother, this is a nightmare, etc. I've listened to well intentioned advice my whole life, and now the advice is I'll be a great mother. I'm like nope, I would hate to have kids then regret it. At the end of the day when that door closes behind me, I would have to live with the decisions I make, no one else. My decision to be child-free is mine. This comment is already long but I could keep going and going.
It took my mom YEARS to finally say "if you have kids" instead of "when" when she sees that my sis (22) and I (25) don't want kids, or if we do then we would adopt or foster. We don't want our own, and I think she finally see it when I announced I may have an opportunity to get sterilized to make it happen. People in society really try their best to hold on to the belief of having children is an obligation and not a choice, which it really is. I'm CHOOSING to be childfree. I'm CHOOSING to be "selfish" in this cruel world. Just like someone is CHOOSING to have a kid for whatever reason.
Well at least it seems like she’s slowly getting there 😊💪🏽 You’re so right, people hold onto that belief for DEAR LIFE 😂 It doesn’t even make sense because it’s literally none of their business 😂 You make whatever choice is best for you 👏🏽👏🏽
This is a wonderful video. I've never wanted children since I was one myself. It took years into adulthood to realise that it had a lot to do with my childhood and how I was made to feel responsible for my mum's happiness and how she wanted me to be a mini version of herself. I have undergone a lot of trauma and neglect in childhood and there's no way I'd want to put that onto a child of my own, despite the fact I've had therapy. I have a list as long as my arm as to why I don't want kids of my own. People are often shocked and think there is something wrong with me or that I don't want kids because my partner doesn't but they don't realise I have a mind of my own and I am with my partner because we're on the same page. Most of the time, if a kid is playing up when I am out and about, I realise either the parent isn't comforting them or just keeps shouting at them and I feel sorry that the kid's voice is being taken away when it would be more effective for the parent to try to understand why their child is throwing a tantrum. I know I'm not a parent but I have been a child whose parent never made the effort to let me speak up or open up about what was wrong, however, I was a quiet kid so I guess mum thought if I am not playing up then I am fine emotionally. There are some amazing kids I have met who have had great upbringings and I am in complete awe of them, so I definitely don't dislike kids completely.
After watching this vid and seeing at least a handful of the comments already, this shows to me that at 53yrs old, child free, I am not so “weird” any more in my idealogies on being child free and the reasons being based on how I started seeing this world back in my 20s which was in the 1990s era. It’s nice to see younger generation of folk that also see where the toxic systems in the world systems are part of the falling away of people engaging in traditional mainstream choices
Soon to be psychologist here, it is an amazing career!! Sooo fulfilling and I feel like children don't even cross my mind. Good for you hun, you can do it!!👏👏👏
People do attach their identity to their children. Not only through projection but bc they’re too afraid to discover who they are without them. Its a distraction from their own inner work.
Childfree Love from London here!! Thank you for this video. And can I just say, I highly highly recommend getting into salsa dancing for childfree people. It’s just a really upbeat and active community and never once have I had to sit through someone bitching about their kids or being bingoed about my choices. It’s made me much less scared about keeping friends as I get older without children. If you ever come to London please reach out :))
I used to write articles about random things for some side money a while back and one of the articles that has stayed with me the most was about modern child development. It's bad. I'm not saying most parents are like this, at least I really, really hope they aren't, but there have been MULTIPLE occurrences where elementary aged students are falling out of their chairs due to lack of mobility. These kids had been kept inside and not able to climb or explore, so their motor skills are FAR behind what they should be. I really hope someone catches onto it soon and makes a fuss because I really can't see this going well. Children take work and commitment and like you said, a lot of people don't truly have the time for kids anymore and it's leading to more and more neglect.
OH. MY. WORD. 😳😳😳 I’m sad to say this, but it doesn’t surprise me 💔 There are far too many people in this world who don’t think properly before having children, have unrealistic expectations and then don’t put in the work to raise them well - it disgusts me 😪 It also breaks my heart to think about these kids who will face so many more problems later in life because of their parents ineptitude💔 I really hope something will change soon
There is also no sense of community, at least here in the states. Humans needs that, but we have been conditioned to be very autonomous and distrusting of one another.
Grandfather had 12 children Father had 3 children I have 1 child Period I am hopeful that my child will eventually realise that CHILDFREE is the NEW address for HAPPINESS 😀
Social pressure, family pressure, friends pressure, all the people say "you are a woman you can have a child" nobody in my life said to me "have a child is a choice", I have a male friend that still asking about children, my mom see me as the next of gave her grandchildren, I say "I don't want that, I want to travel, study more languages" as a woman is difficult to make the people respect my choice. I'm going to ask for a tubal ligation (against my mom desire) I don't have to be a mother, fortunately I have friends and cousins that understand and some of them don't want to have children. I have scoliosis and is very painful, I have OCD, I take a lot of medicine, maybe I have endometriosis (I don't have a job for get an appointment with a doctor, but the symptoms say "yes") Edit: I see how much my sister spends in her child, baby food is really expensive, diapers too, and she is going to spend more and more every year.
All that pressure is so unwarranted 🤢 I’ve watched videos of childfree women who are in their 50s and they still don’t hear the end of it 😮💨 When will people learn to mind their business! 😪 I’m glad you at least have a few people close to you who understand & respect your choices 🙌🏽 Good for you for having strong boundaries 💪🏽 I hope that your healing journey with everything goes well 🤍🤍
I have endomeriosis and it's hell. Also other health conditions. I don't want my child to suffer the same and so many other reasons why I don't want kids... Maybe I am not able to get pregnant anyway. You should do what you want to do with your life! I don't care what others want from me regarding children...
I am childfree by choice and it's so nice to hear from other women with similar thoughts. Did my honours psych research on couples choosing to be childfree which explored both motivating factors, as well as perceived life satisfaction. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Great vid! I don’t want children, and I don’t want to get married, but thinking of the disappointment my parents would feel (especially my mother) gives me guilt.
Thank you 😊 You do you! 🙌🏽 As difficult as it is, at the end of the day you’re not responsible for other people’s disappointments when it’s your decision (and yours only) to make 🤍
Shoutout to the parents out there, you have the hardest job in the WORLD. And shoutout to the childless people, I love you and I respect your choice. It’s your life, your body and I hear you 🤍 ~Your Childfree Friend 🥰
Thank you for sharing with such openness . I am glad I found your video, sometimes I think being childfree takes a lot of wisdom since it’s questioning a persistent belief system.. instead of flowing along with the culture conditioning. In my tiny experience I have noticed childfree individuals to be more aware and responsible for their actions. I can see how much investigative journalism 😜you have done on yourself to be able to articulate with such ease. Well done.
This is so kind of you to say, thank you very much 😊 I agree with you, anything that goes against society’s beliefs takes wisdom & courage! Thank you again 🙏
I actually love being near children and spending some time with other peoples’ children and most children are drawn to me and that is literally not the same thing as wanting to have my own kid and raising them as well. Raising a child is a huge responsibility/commitment and it is permanent by then than choosing to being in a relationship with an adult. I totally agree with how people can shame women for being selfish when there’s nothing there yet to be called that to begin with. How can adults raise a child in an economy where a lot of adults are also struggling themselves with finances and self care let alone a small, vulnerable human being added into the mix?
I really enjoyed this video and hearing your perspective. Childfree by choice women and men do face a lot of judgement and criticism unfortunately. Here's hoping there will be more acceptance in the future. Live and let live.
Ever since I told my family that I don't want children, they keep reinforcing the fact that I will regret my choice later in life. I am constantly reminded of my place as a woman - to get "married and be a mother". To be honest, I don't even like children that much, especially when they're very young and very dependent. It takes a lot to raise a child. Call me selfish but I'm not having one. I don't want to bare that level of responsibility over a human being. I love being child-free and I wouldn't change it one bit.
Despite being a guy, people ask me if I have kids and that question is coming from women. So it is weird because that question pops up almost too quickly upon meeting them. It is not fair to assume that about everyone just because most people want kids. I said this once and I will say it again, "children are a luxury not a necessity." I also don't know why people see children as an investment, they are not guaranteed to take care of you when you get old. After all, life is random and you have to expect the unexpected. The child may die before the parents do or they may be too sick to take care of the parents even as adults.
Before having kids .. remember they will go through the difficult system of schooling...and working .... Especially if they have learning disorders...yoh ...
I love the hypocrisy of the who’s going to look after you when you’re old. My mum has always bingoed me and subtlety (sometimes not so subtlety) pushed me to have kids. Now that I’m 38 and starting to think I actually don’t want kids my Nan is 88 and is in a pretty bad shape health wise. Her son (my uncle) kicked her out of her flat, she lives with her 83 y o sister who cares for her while my alcoholic uncle takes all her pension. My dad says nothing, my mum is lamenting that they can’t possibly take my grandma (they have a spare guest room) and provide efficient care. I’m the only one who’s offering to pay fully for a nursing home. I keep wanting to say something about the irony of being looked after when you’re old but keep my thoughts to myself
I remember crying as a child when my older sister and mom pushed periods are great and puberty because now you can have a baby. Catholic households are crazy.
Its the “IDEA” of FOREVER…. I mean everything in life is kinda meant to be TEMPORARY. Jobs, Money, Marriage, Relationships, School, CERTAIN Family can be temporary but when it comes to being a parent its forever….. cousins are temporary aunts, uncles, even siblings. A child can always decide not to fuck with their parents but Parents will never decide not to reconcile with their child. Theirs people in the world who HATE the idea of FOREVER 🤷🏾♀️ and rightfully so.
in my point of view having child is a great resposibility, automatically huge resposibility on the parents shoulders to shape a model citizen for the world. In many culture women consider as baby machine. Never have a child because we are lonely or miserable.. Every child is precious.
My father talks shit to me because I tell him I want no wife and no kids. Tells me I don't do or have done anything with my life. Any thoughts on that?
Sorry to hear that love, its completely up to you whether you want to get married and have children, keep your head and heart clear and make decisions true to you
Someone said "it takes a village to raise a child" and that person wasn't lying. Our country has little to no consequences for parents who negate their parental responsibilities and a lot of men take advantage that leaving women to raise children by themselves. It's so unfair because children can be exhausting and a solid support system is needed for both parent and child to build a heathy relationship. Sadly, in most of our communities that solid unity is not there, it's each man for himself and a lack of sufficient financial resources makes the experience more burdensome. Personally i would like a mini me but the sacrifice is too great to make.
It really does! I hear what you’re saying, there really is a lot more we could be doing to make bringing children into this world a better experience but sadly it isn’t happening 💔
@@RedRose01289 My baby is an extension of me so they would inherit a part of me & she/he would be a mini version of who or what I'am. Children are because their parents were. It's not that serious lady.
If u hold off on buying an expensive item, "mature choice." If, however, u don't want kids bcuz u know u're not financially ready, "selfish choice." It seems as if u're supposed to WANT kids even if the repercussions of it are bad for u. At least u'll be seen as a grown up. By the way, did I hear u mention SALSA DANCING? 😁
It’s like you can’t win as a childfree person, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t 😅🙃 Yes hahaha, I’ve been wanting to do it for a while even though I don’t have a drop of rhythm in my body 😅💃🏽
I'm an old fart now. Grew up the oldest of 6. Been there, done that. No offense to parents, but I think that endeavour is the most captivating, mind numbing undertaking anyone can do. And the world does not need more humans.
Honey, you don’t have to explain yourself to your audience. Explaining that you don’t mean to disrespect anyone in the lgbtq community and parents and that you respect their choice bla bla bla. Title is self explanatory. If snowflakes got an issue with you talking bout this, oh well. Too bad. You do you.
Those people who obsess with the whole motherhood and imposing child care onto everyone don't live in the real world. What if you are a disable woman, do you really want to impose and subjugate your own flesh and blood into being disable as well? To me that is the definition of selfish!!! They also think that pregnancy is magical and wonderful, not realizing that it can be a death sentence for the woman and child in much cases... especially those of us who can't or don't have access to prenatal care. Disable women are abused and treated horribly in the health care system so why put myself through that horror story?!? Not to mention how horribly my child will be treated due to his/her mom being disabled and thus the disability carried onto the next generation. Also added note... my dad died alone strapped to a bunch of machines in an empty isolated room in the hospital at end of 2021 just as if he was childfree and no grand kids, even though he has five kids and over 16 grand-babies... nothing in life is guaranteed. So why waste resources and time on something that will drain you and still end up dead/ dying alone??? This is something the airheaded child obsessed retards don't understand. Your kids will live their own lives while you are in that room alone strapped to machines. Enjoy your existence is what my dads' death has shown me.
Life with learning disabilities is ridiculous. Thankfully I'll never pass that down. It ends with me. I'm just trying to have fun and make the best of this crap callec human life and society
The amount of disclaimers that were required before she could open her mouth about anything just shows where this world is headed… literally cannot say anything
I am child free cause I can't have kids. I think it better looking for the positive side of not have kids rather then cry cause I can't have one. Is there anyone related ?
What bugs me the most is free babysitting. The neighbor next door is dealing with great grandkids that aren't his. They are being dropped off daily by his wife's grandkids. Even she seems annoyed but won't say no to them. I couldn't imagine being in my 70's changing diapers and entertaining kids under the age of 10. Whenever I do get a chance to interact with them, they look so worn out. Sadly, I remember my mother dropping me off regularly at my great grandma place for a while. Poor old lady looked so annoyed but still managed to make it bearable for herself while I was there.
I sure wish that content like this was made a long time ago. I’m also child free by choice and by circumstance. I would hate to I risk MY LIFE and destroy MY BODY being pregnant and giving birth, give MY best years away to help build a family, only for a man (husband or not) to devalue it and decide that he wants no parts of the child’s upbringing. I came from a broken home with without my day so I REFUSE TO RAISE A CHILD ALONE!!! No kids for me thanks! 🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫
Just wanted to offer my opinion as a male who wants to one day have children. I know you said this video isn't for us but I feel like a different perspective could only help and I'm not here to invalidate your beliefs. You also mentioned that you didn't ask for my opinion which is fair, but you've posted a video validating your opinions on a public platform so it's also fair that the public (which includes myself) comments on it. And anyway, I actually agree with you on some parts. So I want to have kids when I'm particularly well of and quite advanced in age (maybe about 35 to 40) so that we are financially well of to do so. I feel like its important to bring a child into the world because the world isn't as terrible as it was in our parents age believe it or not and all is not lost. Its important to bring a child in to experience both the joys and the pain of life so that one day they themselves can make a contribution to humanity. Hopefully I'll be in a position to give my child the best opportunity to do so. I also feel like you've burdened way too much responsibility when it comes to raising a child. Ideally, you would be in a healthy relationship and work together in raising them, it wasn't supposed to be a solo job. And lastly, I, personally, have been dealt a decent hand in life and the generations before me have helped with that. Because of this I feel like I'm more likely to be in a good position to raise a child that won't be crushed by some of the worlds problem such as hunger or poverty etc. But then again, anything can happen. So I feel like it's my personal responsibility to live a purposeful life for not only my self but the future generations as well. That's all I wanted to say. I would also like to add that I love your psychology videos and I think you're doing great work so hopefully you don't take any offense to this comment. I just saw the comments were in overwhelming support of this and I wanted to contribute a different perspective. Thanks for reading, I'm aware of how long it is 🙈😅
I think your comment and opinion from the “opposing viewpoint” is very kind and well written. Thanks for sharing! But what do you mean that she has attributed too much responsibility on having a child? Even in a very loving, mature, healthy relationship, a child is *still* a ton of responsibility. Even if both partners are heavily involved and hands on and attentive, , a great relationship in no way guarantees that raising a child somehow is easier for you.
have you read david benatar's work? the south african philosopher? if not, then you should. shares the same views as you, but just alittle bit more pessimist.
Happy people don't explain this HARD. You don't want kids. Okay 👌...last time I checked, that's not a crime so why try to prove a "case"???? People who make this type of content make me wonder if they are confident in their decision or trying to worl things out with themselves. Just live how you choose and be happy. People with kids still have jobs, still have aging parents, still have hobbies, still run their own companies lol. It's just that they chose to have children and made it work by reworking the way they organized their time and resources to support that decision. Pretty simple. Is it easy? Nope, but it is it harder than any other major commitment NOPE! Go live your life and make sure you get to know what you actually want before it's top late to be honest with yourself if you don't want kids, stop explaining yourself. It sounds really weird like someone who is guilty or uneasy.
The term Child free has negative connotations to those who have kids, it assumes that they are not free and are in bondage by having kids, The correct term should be Child Less
The term “childless” is already used by people who want children but can’t have them for biological or social reasons. Us childfree people will continue using the term because we are not responsible for how it makes parents feel and how they interpret it 💁🏽♀️ We do have more freedom and as for the word “bondage” you used, you simply can’t deny that parenthood is a lifelong responsibility so do with that information what you will 😌
Yes, don't let a baby ruin your perfectly shaped hips girl. I support your hips and childless body. Need more like you!!!!! Make America Great Again!!!!
I believe most women and men love the IDEA of having kids but do not understand what it's really like to have them. Before deciding, expose yourself to that environment; volunteer at daycare centers, babysit, etc. Also, be around kids with severe conditions like Down Syndrome, ADHD, Autism, so if your kid ends up having those, you would know how to handle them or at least get an idea of what life will be like for you.
Exactly. I was about to bend under the pressure everyone put on me, painting the parenthood picture like something I was really missing out on...and then I decided to take a nanny job. Oh man, I am SO SURE of my decisions now
I grew up the oldest of 6 in a small lower middle class household. So I know and never got it.
Enough said.
Feels validating that someone would acknowledge how hard adhd is. Im used to people just being annoyed at me as though its a small thing i could kill via willpower. My partner is autistic. I doubt we could handle a child, but i will help my friends and community as much as i can.
Having kids because you think it will make YOU happy, or make YOU feel complete, or make YOU feel fulfilled, or because YOU don't want to feel like YOU'RE being left behind, or because YOU want someone to take care of YOU when YOU grow old - that's selfish.
The only reason to have a kid is when there's so much love in you that you can't help but to want to share that love with someone else; same goes with having a partner.
YES & YES 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I absolutely LOVE how you worded this, thank you
The sweetest explanation, ever.
I do feel like I have a lotttt of love to give but I still see that this is a responsibility bigger beyond anything imagination. So I am not willing for it.
It's not completely true wanting a child should be a little SELFISH no one is strong enough for dedicating their life to a child for the sake of love without deep personal value. OF COURSE wanting to give love should be the main reasons the cement who build your want to have children.
But you need to puth value on your actions. Giving yourself reason to have this life and feel true to yourself. That certainly come with INDIVIDUAL need like happiness or fulfilment who are essential to a person mental health.
Thinking that managing your life with children can make you feel happiness and feel fulfillment is NOT SELFISH.
It's completely normal all of our choice are responses to some desire EXACTLY like childfree peoples who want to prioritise something else for their OWN happiness. Parents aren't robots or saints without desire and goals.
I'm just agreeing with the two last reasons that's fair. Children aren't your or your therapist or your pension for your old days.
I'm a Sr. Citizen and I get tired of other people telling me that I'm going to be lonely and miserable, because I'm not a mom and a grandma!! Have been childfree by choice for a very long time now and I have never changed my mind!! I'm not lonely and miserable by any stretch of the imagination!!! I live a full life, I'm active in my church and other organizations. Especially Sr. Citizens groups. I also enjoy traveling and not having to be home by a certain time. I have always enjoyed my freedom of being able to come and go as I please.
I enjoy spendIng time with the relatives that I have left and all my good friends.
Also, having children and grandchildren does not guarantee the person won’t be lonely. People use that argument like having kids will 100% prevent loneliness. You never know what you’re gonna get with kids. Maybe they won’t like you, maybe they’ll be disabled and you’ll have to take care of them for the rest of their life, etc. I’m glad you’re doing well and hope you continue to do so. People have this stereotype of older people like they shouldn’t be active and doing things and should always be home. I think it’s an unfair myth that older people are too old to do anything. I hope if I ever live to be old I’ll be able to stay kicking around and living my best life.
This is what I like to hear! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 There is so so much that life has to offer and I’m glad that you’ve gone for it all ☺️ You’re an inspiration! ✨
@@LaurenUnalomeWellnessCo Thanks so much!🙂
LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE AT THE BACK 🗣🗣 I absolutely agree with everything! 👏🏽 Nothing is ever guaranteed and people are going to judge anyway so yes, live your best life ✨
You are an inspiration to many women!
I'm getting my tubes removed next week! So happy to guarantee I stay CF for life :)
I'm a man and I've come to the decision that it's very unlikely I'll ever want to have kids. I agree there is much more pressure on women to have kids and it's quite irresponsible and sickening tbh. I do think men face pressure to have kids as well but in more subtle ways. Thanks for the video!
& there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! 🙌🏽 Emphasis on the irresponsible and sickening part! 🗣 Thanks for watching!
Thank youuuu
World needs more men like you!
As well as child free some people might all so be better of partner free. Maybe sometimes with out knowing it
@@bennewman4675 I agree. I love being single and think I'm better off being partner-free. Many people don't consider this either. I still think I'd enjoy having a partner but I'd still need to prioritise my own needs and personal freedom because I value this a great deal.
The societal pressure to have kids is insane. People do not understand that not everyone wants to have kids. Do you.
It really is hey! 🤯 Thank you! 👏🏽
Yesss I don't understand that societal pressure too. It sucks and I feel like an abnormal person in this society.
At this point, I have learned to care less about what society or other people think. As long I'm not harming anyone, I will keep living however as I like. Tbh, the judgement doesn't end even if you end up having kids. "You only have 1 kid? You should give that kid a sibling" "why are you not at home taking care of your kids" and so on. All of these I personally heard from people so yeah, there's no point listening to outsiders cus you know yourself best
I heard someone say once: ‘you think you want a baby/kid? Yes? Okay, go take a nap. Did you enjoy that nap? Yes? Don’t have a kid.’ 😂 laughable but also not funny at all cause it’s real
Brilliantly said. There are times when I legit don't wanna live anymore, and people assume not having kids = selfish. Nah, until the world becomes good / better, I ain't gonna bring another person here.
I’m sorry to hear that 🤍🤍 Exactly! How it can be selfish is beyond me but then again when it comes to the retaliation we hear, a lot of it isn’t rooted in logic 🤭
That’s how I felt sometimes. 💯💯💯💯💯
Women don't owe this world any kid/kids, no matter what. Motherhood is not an obligation. It's totally ok to be childfree.
Childbirth is horrific and i am terrified of childbirth, and that's one of the many primary reasons, I don't want any kid/kids ever.
Totally agree! 💯
But you f you could afford a surrogate, would you have one?
Same!!! 💯💯💯💯💯💯
Someone finally said it! Hopefully this will make it less of an unpopular opinion and more of an acceptable way of life.
Funny, but I have never been one to care about popular opinion or societal expectations/pressures. I will always do ME no matter what everyone else says or does. Childfree, always will be, and proud of it. To those who disagree with my life choices, I will give them 3 guesses as to where they can go.
It had to be said! 👏🏽 I really hope so too, there are too many people out here who should’ve never been parents 🤭 I just hope that this video makes people think very carefully about their choices 🤞🏽
That’s the way it should be 👏🏽 Not their life, not their business I say! 🔥
I loved when you talked about "legacy".... those were the exact words of my ex, he wanted children "to carry on his legacy"... in the end, this fundamental difference among other reasons made us take separate ways, he is now married with children and I have found a partner who shares my same view and values, together we have come to the conclusion to be a childfree-little family.
Another conditioning is that as a parent you're suppose to love and enjoy all that comes with it holistically without regret. This is probably the reason why we don't see a lot of parents openly admitting their regrets and those who do receive backlash and shame.
Yes the parent-shaming is too real! 🙁 Parents need safe spaces to open up, there shouldn’t be any shame in struggling - parent or not 👏🏽
I love the part about who is going to carry on your legacy? "What legacy is this? Is there a kingdom you are leaving..." My point exactly! I am the 2nd person in my family to graduate college but I'm by no means well off as a result. If I had kids, the most valuable thing I would be able to leave them is good advice on the things I've learned along the way. And they would stand to benefit, if THEY would choose to listen. There are many great things that could happen, but the struggle of the black experience is real and is one of the biggest challenges they would face. I would worry in my grave about whether my kids would have the fortitude to survive, mentally, emotionally and economically. At this point, I don't have to worry about children that I don't have, or plan to have.
You made a great point that I think about often regarding people who see childfree people as selfish... It just begs the question, "who am I being selfish toward?! I can't take resources away from a child that does not exist so who else am I going to spend my time and resources on, but myself and my husband.. What would be selfish is if I had a kid and still satisfied my own wants and needs over the needs of my child.
I'm glad you brought that up :)
All of this. 💯💯💯💯💯
I have decided to remain child free because I think it's not a social obligation to have kids. I am more happy with pets as my kids and I loooooove them❤️
As well as child free some people might all so be better of partner free. Maybe sometimes with out knowing it
I am childfree by choice and then when I turned 30 got a health diagnosis that makes having children harder. I'm also a teacher who sees so many people jump into childhood too lightly for my liking. Currently, I have never seen more men on online dating sites mention "wanting to have kids" in my whole life 🙄
I would let my mother rot in a run down nursing home for sure. She never let me forget that she regretted having kids even as she continued to get pregnant by weak men and push those bad decisions on me. Now I’m traumatized by being forced to be a mom before I was competent, and I don’t want to ever go through the pain of not being able to be the adult that adorable and innocent child needs.
Lauren, thank you for making this video. I think I found my soul family amongst you and the people in the comments. When people ask me are you going to have kids, I'm like "are you going to take care of them?" Are you gonna provide the nannys and babysitters for the self care, alone and vacation time that I'm gonna personally require? I'm the only child (and crave my solitude) but my mom is one of 13 and my grandpa is one of 11. Imma let my cousins have the kids and I'm going to enjoy the richness of my space, my freedom, being able to come and go as I please, and exploring all of what life has to offer. Being a mom is not something you can drop out of like an organization. Once you're in, you're in. No take backs, no I don't like being a mother, this is a nightmare, etc. I've listened to well intentioned advice my whole life, and now the advice is I'll be a great mother. I'm like nope, I would hate to have kids then regret it. At the end of the day when that door closes behind me, I would have to live with the decisions I make, no one else. My decision to be child-free is mine. This comment is already long but I could keep going and going.
It took my mom YEARS to finally say "if you have kids" instead of "when" when she sees that my sis (22) and I (25) don't want kids, or if we do then we would adopt or foster. We don't want our own, and I think she finally see it when I announced I may have an opportunity to get sterilized to make it happen.
People in society really try their best to hold on to the belief of having children is an obligation and not a choice, which it really is. I'm CHOOSING to be childfree. I'm CHOOSING to be "selfish" in this cruel world. Just like someone is CHOOSING to have a kid for whatever reason.
Well at least it seems like she’s slowly getting there 😊💪🏽 You’re so right, people hold onto that belief for DEAR LIFE 😂 It doesn’t even make sense because it’s literally none of their business 😂 You make whatever choice is best for you 👏🏽👏🏽
I make a point to say if not when with my younger siblings because I know that probably no one else will
23:17 I totally agree. And it really frustrates me when people say "you're just a kid, after a couple of years your thoughts are going to change"
But that same “logic” is nowhere to be seen when children say they want children one day! 😂 It’s the hypocrisy for me 🥴
Im 30 and people still say I'm too young and will change my mind 😂
This is a wonderful video. I've never wanted children since I was one myself. It took years into adulthood to realise that it had a lot to do with my childhood and how I was made to feel responsible for my mum's happiness and how she wanted me to be a mini version of herself. I have undergone a lot of trauma and neglect in childhood and there's no way I'd want to put that onto a child of my own, despite the fact I've had therapy. I have a list as long as my arm as to why I don't want kids of my own. People are often shocked and think there is something wrong with me or that I don't want kids because my partner doesn't but they don't realise I have a mind of my own and I am with my partner because we're on the same page. Most of the time, if a kid is playing up when I am out and about, I realise either the parent isn't comforting them or just keeps shouting at them and I feel sorry that the kid's voice is being taken away when it would be more effective for the parent to try to understand why their child is throwing a tantrum. I know I'm not a parent but I have been a child whose parent never made the effort to let me speak up or open up about what was wrong, however, I was a quiet kid so I guess mum thought if I am not playing up then I am fine emotionally. There are some amazing kids I have met who have had great upbringings and I am in complete awe of them, so I definitely don't dislike kids completely.
After watching this vid and seeing at least a handful of the comments already, this shows to me that at 53yrs old, child free, I am not so “weird” any more in my idealogies on being child free and the reasons being based on how I started seeing this world back in my 20s which was in the 1990s era. It’s nice to see younger generation of folk that also see where the toxic systems in the world systems are part of the falling away of people engaging in traditional mainstream choices
I don't know people get offended when I say "i don't want have kids", as if I'm asking them not to have kids or I'm asking them to dump their kids.
Yes you made total sense about mental health towards the end. This is a great video, thank you for your words 😊
Soon to be psychologist here, it is an amazing career!! Sooo fulfilling and I feel like children don't even cross my mind. Good for you hun, you can do it!!👏👏👏
I totally agree with you! 🙏 Thank you ☺️
People do attach their identity to their children. Not only through projection but bc they’re too afraid to discover who they are without them. Its a distraction from their own inner work.
Childfree Love from London here!! Thank you for this video. And can I just say, I highly highly recommend getting into salsa dancing for childfree people. It’s just a really upbeat and active community and never once have I had to sit through someone bitching about their kids or being bingoed about my choices. It’s made me much less scared about keeping friends as I get older without children. If you ever come to London please reach out :))
I used to write articles about random things for some side money a while back and one of the articles that has stayed with me the most was about modern child development. It's bad. I'm not saying most parents are like this, at least I really, really hope they aren't, but there have been MULTIPLE occurrences where elementary aged students are falling out of their chairs due to lack of mobility. These kids had been kept inside and not able to climb or explore, so their motor skills are FAR behind what they should be. I really hope someone catches onto it soon and makes a fuss because I really can't see this going well. Children take work and commitment and like you said, a lot of people don't truly have the time for kids anymore and it's leading to more and more neglect.
OH. MY. WORD. 😳😳😳 I’m sad to say this, but it doesn’t surprise me 💔 There are far too many people in this world who don’t think properly before having children, have unrealistic expectations and then don’t put in the work to raise them well - it disgusts me 😪 It also breaks my heart to think about these kids who will face so many more problems later in life because of their parents ineptitude💔 I really hope something will change soon
There is also no sense of community, at least here in the states. Humans needs that, but we have been conditioned to be very autonomous and distrusting of one another.
Grandfather had 12 children
Father had 3 children
I have 1 child
Period
I am hopeful that my child will eventually realise that CHILDFREE is the NEW address for HAPPINESS
😀
Imagine having 12 children in today’s society! 😅🤯 Good for you for not pushing the narrative that your child must have children of their own! 🙏
Social pressure, family pressure, friends pressure, all the people say "you are a woman you can have a child" nobody in my life said to me "have a child is a choice", I have a male friend that still asking about children, my mom see me as the next of gave her grandchildren, I say "I don't want that, I want to travel, study more languages" as a woman is difficult to make the people respect my choice. I'm going to ask for a tubal ligation (against my mom desire) I don't have to be a mother, fortunately I have friends and cousins that understand and some of them don't want to have children. I have scoliosis and is very painful, I have OCD, I take a lot of medicine, maybe I have endometriosis (I don't have a job for get an appointment with a doctor, but the symptoms say "yes")
Edit: I see how much my sister spends in her child, baby food is really expensive, diapers too, and she is going to spend more and more every year.
All that pressure is so unwarranted 🤢 I’ve watched videos of childfree women who are in their 50s and they still don’t hear the end of it 😮💨 When will people learn to mind their business! 😪 I’m glad you at least have a few people close to you who understand & respect your choices 🙌🏽 Good for you for having strong boundaries 💪🏽
I hope that your healing journey with everything goes well 🤍🤍
@@LaurenUnalomeWellnessCo Than you 😃
I have endomeriosis and it's hell. Also other health conditions. I don't want my child to suffer the same and so many other reasons why I don't want kids... Maybe I am not able to get pregnant anyway. You should do what you want to do with your life! I don't care what others want from me regarding children...
I am childfree by choice and it's so nice to hear from other women with similar thoughts. Did my honours psych research on couples choosing to be childfree which explored both motivating factors, as well as perceived life satisfaction. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Thank you very much for sharing your perspective on this topic. 😄
Always a pleasure, I hope you enjoyed it! 😊
Great vid! I don’t want children, and I don’t want to get married, but thinking of the disappointment my parents would feel (especially my mother) gives me guilt.
Thank you 😊 You do you! 🙌🏽 As difficult as it is, at the end of the day you’re not responsible for other people’s disappointments when it’s your decision (and yours only) to make 🤍
@@LaurenUnalomeWellnessCo I agree 100%.
@@LaurenUnalomeWellnessCo ooh. That was deep. Well said.
Wow you have great camera quality and are well spoken.
That is so kind of you to say 🥺 Thank you 😊
@@LaurenUnalomeWellnessCo you're welcome 😊
Shoutout to the parents out there, you have the hardest job in the WORLD. And shoutout to the childless people, I love you and I respect your choice. It’s your life, your body and I hear you 🤍
~Your Childfree Friend 🥰
Thank you for sharing with such openness . I am glad I found your video, sometimes I think being childfree takes a lot of wisdom since it’s questioning a persistent belief system.. instead of flowing along with the culture conditioning.
In my tiny experience I have noticed childfree individuals to be more aware and responsible for their actions.
I can see how much investigative journalism 😜you have done on yourself to be able to articulate with such ease. Well done.
This is so kind of you to say, thank you very much 😊 I agree with you, anything that goes against society’s beliefs takes wisdom & courage!
Thank you again 🙏
I actually love being near children and spending some time with other peoples’ children and most children are drawn to me and that is literally not the same thing as wanting to have my own kid and raising them as well. Raising a child is a huge responsibility/commitment and it is permanent by then than choosing to being in a relationship with an adult. I totally agree with how people can shame women for being selfish when there’s nothing there yet to be called that to begin with. How can adults raise a child in an economy where a lot of adults are also struggling themselves with finances and self care let alone a small, vulnerable human being added into the mix?
I think I couldn't have said it better myself. Unfortunately I think the reason men aren't asked as much is misogyny.
It’s me. I’m the child free woman who can’t stand children 👶🏽 👎🏽
😂😂😂😂😂 This made my night 😂💀
Same here🗑👊🏽👶🏽 👎🏽
Same here 🤗
Same!
Me too!
This is very good. Thank you for thinking things through. I appreciate your video.
I really enjoyed this video and hearing your perspective. Childfree by choice women and men do face a lot of judgement and criticism unfortunately. Here's hoping there will be more acceptance in the future. Live and let live.
That makes me so happy to hear! 💃🏽 Literally, and it’s not even any of their business which is what makes it 100x worse 🤢 LIVE & LET LIVE INDEED 🙌🏽
Ever since I told my family that I don't want children, they keep reinforcing the fact that I will regret my choice later in life. I am constantly reminded of my place as a woman - to get "married and be a mother". To be honest, I don't even like children that much, especially when they're very young and very dependent.
It takes a lot to raise a child. Call me selfish but I'm not having one. I don't want to bare that level of responsibility over a human being. I love being child-free and I wouldn't change it one bit.
Despite being a guy, people ask me if I have kids and that question is coming from women. So it is weird because that question pops up almost too quickly upon meeting them. It is not fair to assume that about everyone just because most people want kids. I said this once and I will say it again, "children are a luxury not a necessity." I also don't know why people see children as an investment, they are not guaranteed to take care of you when you get old. After all, life is random and you have to expect the unexpected. The child may die before the parents do or they may be too sick to take care of the parents even as adults.
Indeed men do face extreme pressure to have kids. It's somehow viewed as taboo to not want one or have one by age 30. Which is ridiculous 😂
@@sinothilembhamayi3434 Very ridiculous, Hahaha, I will never get it but I will find it laughable 😆
Thank you for making this video. Tons of great info.
Really happy to heat that, thank you for watching! 👏🏽
Before having kids .. remember they will go through the difficult system of schooling...and working .... Especially if they have learning disorders...yoh ...
Thank you for is lovely video!
You say it!
I really learnt alot from this video, thank you for all this wisdom. I'm interested in hearing your view on religion in correlation to psychology.
So glad to hear that, thank you Johanna! 😊
It would be best to hear that from someone who is actually religious 😂
I love the hypocrisy of the who’s going to look after you when you’re old. My mum has always bingoed me and subtlety (sometimes not so subtlety) pushed me to have kids. Now that I’m 38 and starting to think I actually don’t want kids my Nan is 88 and is in a pretty bad shape health wise. Her son (my uncle) kicked her out of her flat, she lives with her 83 y o sister who cares for her while my alcoholic uncle takes all her pension. My dad says nothing, my mum is lamenting that they can’t possibly take my grandma (they have a spare guest room) and provide efficient care. I’m the only one who’s offering to pay fully for a nursing home. I keep wanting to say something about the irony of being looked after when you’re old but keep my thoughts to myself
Agree, why is it so normal to give a babydoll to a toddler and not something else, like a cute little astronaut suit or a doctors coat.
100% agree 👍
Yes! 🔥 Thank you 🙌🏽🙌🏽
good for you to be able to stand in your stance! I am excited for your future
Giirrll! SAME haha… Loved it! Thanks for Sharing.
I had my little ponies growing up I hated baby dolls!! I still have some of my vintage ponies to this day!! 😄
Thank you for this video
I remember crying as a child when my older sister and mom pushed periods are great and puberty because now you can have a baby. Catholic households are crazy.
Its the “IDEA” of FOREVER…. I mean everything in life is kinda meant to be TEMPORARY. Jobs, Money, Marriage, Relationships, School, CERTAIN Family can be temporary but when it comes to being a parent its forever….. cousins are temporary aunts, uncles, even siblings. A child can always decide not to fuck with their parents but Parents will never decide not to reconcile with their child. Theirs people in the world who HATE the idea of FOREVER 🤷🏾♀️ and rightfully so.
Same here girl 💯
Yaaasss girl 👏🏽✨
Can you link the vice video
in my point of view having child is a great resposibility, automatically huge resposibility on the parents shoulders to shape a model citizen for the world. In many culture women consider as baby machine. Never have a child because we are lonely or miserable.. Every child is precious.
My father talks shit to me because I tell him I want no wife and no kids. Tells me I don't do or have done anything with my life. Any thoughts on that?
You can stay married free & Childfree as long as you please, even if that means forever! Do what makes you feel satisfied and healthy!❤️
Sorry to hear that love, its completely up to you whether you want to get married and have children, keep your head and heart clear and make decisions true to you
@@maishazarinanan5028 appreciate that 🙏
Someone said "it takes a village to raise a child" and that person wasn't lying. Our country has little to no consequences for parents who negate their parental responsibilities and a lot of men take advantage that leaving women to raise children by themselves. It's so unfair because children can be exhausting and a solid support system is needed for both parent and child to build a heathy relationship. Sadly, in most of our communities that solid unity is not there, it's each man for himself and a lack of sufficient financial resources makes the experience more burdensome. Personally i would like a mini me but the sacrifice is too great to make.
It really does!
I hear what you’re saying, there really is a lot more we could be doing to make bringing children into this world a better experience but sadly it isn’t happening 💔
@@RedRose01289 My baby is an extension of me so they would inherit a part of me & she/he would be a mini version of who or what I'am. Children are because their parents were. It's not that serious lady.
If u hold off on buying an expensive item, "mature choice." If, however, u don't want kids bcuz u know u're not financially ready, "selfish choice." It seems as if u're supposed to WANT kids even if the repercussions of it are bad for u. At least u'll be seen as a grown up. By the way, did I hear u mention SALSA DANCING? 😁
It’s like you can’t win as a childfree person, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t 😅🙃
Yes hahaha, I’ve been wanting to do it for a while even though I don’t have a drop of rhythm in my body 😅💃🏽
Been working with kids for the last 7 years. Don’t know if I want kids. Still thinking
I’m 99% sure I don’t want my own BIOLOGICAL kids
Are u planning to foster or adopt
I'm an old fart now. Grew up the oldest of 6. Been there, done that.
No offense to parents, but I think that endeavour is the most captivating, mind numbing undertaking anyone can do. And the world does not need more humans.
Honey, you don’t have to explain yourself to your audience. Explaining that you don’t mean to disrespect anyone in the lgbtq community and parents and that you respect their choice bla bla bla. Title is self explanatory. If snowflakes got an issue with you talking bout this, oh well. Too bad. You do you.
Thank you! 😅 You’d be surprised by how touchy people are on here can be 🙊
Those people who obsess with the whole motherhood and imposing child care onto everyone don't live in the real world. What if you are a disable woman, do you really want to impose and subjugate your own flesh and blood into being disable as well? To me that is the definition of selfish!!! They also think that pregnancy is magical and wonderful, not realizing that it can be a death sentence for the woman and child in much cases... especially those of us who can't or don't have access to prenatal care. Disable women are abused and treated horribly in the health care system so why put myself through that horror story?!? Not to mention how horribly my child will be treated due to his/her mom being disabled and thus the disability carried onto the next generation.
Also added note... my dad died alone strapped to a bunch of machines in an empty isolated room in the hospital at end of 2021 just as if he was childfree and no grand kids, even though he has five kids and over 16 grand-babies... nothing in life is guaranteed. So why waste resources and time on something that will drain you and still end up dead/ dying alone??? This is something the airheaded child obsessed retards don't understand. Your kids will live their own lives while you are in that room alone strapped to machines. Enjoy your existence is what my dads' death has shown me.
Life with learning disabilities is ridiculous. Thankfully I'll never pass that down. It ends with me. I'm just trying to have fun and make the best of this crap callec human life and society
The amount of disclaimers that were required before she could open her mouth about anything just shows where this world is headed… literally cannot say anything
I am child free cause I can't have kids. I think it better looking for the positive side of not have kids rather then cry cause I can't have one. Is there anyone related ?
🙏🏻❤️
What bugs me the most is free babysitting. The neighbor next door is dealing with great grandkids that aren't his. They are being dropped off daily by his wife's grandkids. Even she seems annoyed but won't say no to them. I couldn't imagine being in my 70's changing diapers and entertaining kids under the age of 10. Whenever I do get a chance to interact with them, they look so worn out. Sadly, I remember my mother dropping me off regularly at my great grandma place for a while. Poor old lady looked so annoyed but still managed to make it bearable for herself while I was there.
How are you paying for so many degrees?
Children are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.
You must not have been living before
My kid too. My life was way more fun with her.
I sure wish that content like this was made a long time ago. I’m also child free by choice and by circumstance. I would hate to I risk MY LIFE and destroy MY BODY being pregnant and giving birth, give MY best years away to help build a family, only for a man (husband or not) to devalue it and decide that he wants no parts of the child’s upbringing. I came from a broken home with without my day so I REFUSE TO RAISE A CHILD ALONE!!! No kids for me thanks! 🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫
How old are you?
Just wanted to offer my opinion as a male who wants to one day have children. I know you said this video isn't for us but I feel like a different perspective could only help and I'm not here to invalidate your beliefs. You also mentioned that you didn't ask for my opinion which is fair, but you've posted a video validating your opinions on a public platform so it's also fair that the public (which includes myself) comments on it. And anyway, I actually agree with you on some parts.
So I want to have kids when I'm particularly well of and quite advanced in age (maybe about 35 to 40) so that we are financially well of to do so. I feel like its important to bring a child into the world because the world isn't as terrible as it was in our parents age believe it or not and all is not lost. Its important to bring a child in to experience both the joys and the pain of life so that one day they themselves can make a contribution to humanity. Hopefully I'll be in a position to give my child the best opportunity to do so.
I also feel like you've burdened way too much responsibility when it comes to raising a child. Ideally, you would be in a healthy relationship and work together in raising them, it wasn't supposed to be a solo job.
And lastly, I, personally, have been dealt a decent hand in life and the generations before me have helped with that. Because of this I feel like I'm more likely to be in a good position to raise a child that won't be crushed by some of the worlds problem such as hunger or poverty etc. But then again, anything can happen. So I feel like it's my personal responsibility to live a purposeful life for not only my self but the future generations as well.
That's all I wanted to say. I would also like to add that I love your psychology videos and I think you're doing great work so hopefully you don't take any offense to this comment. I just saw the comments were in overwhelming support of this and I wanted to contribute a different perspective. Thanks for reading, I'm aware of how long it is 🙈😅
If what you’re saying is true, then your child/children would be lucky to have a parent like you and would hopefully make great members of society💖
I think your comment and opinion from the “opposing viewpoint” is very kind and well written. Thanks for sharing!
But what do you mean that she has attributed too much responsibility on having a child? Even in a very loving, mature, healthy relationship, a child is *still* a ton of responsibility. Even if both partners are heavily involved and hands on and attentive, , a great relationship in no way guarantees that raising a child somehow is easier for you.
Lol. Please please post a follow-up update when you have kids
have you read david benatar's work? the south african philosopher? if not, then you should. shares the same views as you, but just alittle bit more pessimist.
Thanks. I have downloaded 3 of his books. Can wait to get reading.
No I have not but thanks to you I will check him out, thank you for the suggestion! 🙌🏽
Say it louder:
CHILDREN ARE NOT A RETIREMENT PLAN!!
(and also literally everything else)
Happy people don't explain this HARD. You don't want kids. Okay 👌...last time I checked, that's not a crime so why try to prove a "case"???? People who make this type of content make me wonder if they are confident in their decision or trying to worl things out with themselves. Just live how you choose and be happy. People with kids still have jobs, still have aging parents, still have hobbies, still run their own companies lol. It's just that they chose to have children and made it work by reworking the way they organized their time and resources to support that decision. Pretty simple. Is it easy? Nope, but it is it harder than any other major commitment NOPE! Go live your life and make sure you get to know what you actually want before it's top late to be honest with yourself if you don't want kids, stop explaining yourself. It sounds really weird like someone who is guilty or uneasy.
You need a microphone, badly. I don't like that echo. It makes it pretty hard to hear what you're saying.
The term Child free has negative connotations to those who have kids, it assumes that they are not free and are in bondage by having kids, The correct term should be Child Less
The term “childless” is already used by people who want children but can’t have them for biological or social reasons.
Us childfree people will continue using the term because we are not responsible for how it makes parents feel and how they interpret it 💁🏽♀️ We do have more freedom and as for the word “bondage” you used, you simply can’t deny that parenthood is a lifelong responsibility so do with that information what you will 😌
Ok @@LaurenUnalomeWellnessCo
It is a bondage as it comes with lot of compromises and sacrifices - health, personal time, career, mental peace etc.
@@swarmay ok
Stop being a snowflake ❄
Yes, don't let a baby ruin your perfectly shaped hips girl.
I support your hips and childless body.
Need more like you!!!!!
Make America Great Again!!!!