@@francetoronto it almost looks like they are using a program to zoom it based on motion. It is a bit jarring. I hardly ever noticed because I keep it on in the background.
Caleb: here's a message your guests need to hear: "Just because you can pay for something doesn't mean you can afford it." If you make $4000 a month but your rent is $3500 sure you get the dollars to pay it, it doesn't mean it's not fucking you.
Our yearly income is over 150k. I just bought 4 new t-shirts to add to the ones I got at Michael’s for $3.00 each! One pair of new pants in the last 4 years. I do have new Bombas Sox coming tomorrow! This sad chick needs to grow up!
A MONTH?! I'm a broke ass college student and I havent been able to buy new clothes in like 10 months. Wtf do you even need 20+ outfits for??? NOBODY GIVES A F***
She went to school. Actually works in the field she studies. Works Full time. But spends to much on unnecessary things. On top of that she seems like she WANTS to change. Shell do better than 90 percent of the people on this show.
The sad part for me is that if she didn't do the Church thing most probably she would be okay, a lot of people don't get it that you have to take care of yourself before taking care of others. like Caled said in the long run is way better. fix your shit first.
@ZielAmerak 🚩↑ Agreed! Helping people is wonderful, but a hand up goes much farther than a handout. And if we don't take care of ourselves, our family, our home *_FIRST_* then we won't be able to continue offering help to those in need, bc we'll be *_DEPLETED._* And that goes for whether we're talking about a single person, a family, a church, a city, state or entire nation.
@@skonew As someone who works remotely in a corporate job, I do have to buy new clothing for events because I don't own flattering business casual or business formal anymore. 🤷🏼♀️ Not uncommon.
I really would love the tally of just what she kept from Express... And Vince Camuto shoes???? Girl needed one, maybe two pairs of pants for a work trip and one pair of shoes.
That's a great saying. I honestly didn't know there were groups for people on debt. It's really cool that people who need it can get help and know they aren't the only ones needing to get their life straightened out.
I don't think anyone here is qualified / informed enough to say that. It could also be she perceives clothing as a "need" because she grew up spoilt and was given everything she wanted. When you're given everything you want, you begin to see things you want as an accepted necessity. Therefore wanting something immediately becomes an un-optional need. Spoilt children often have this mentality "i need this, i need that" and have long laundry lists of luxury requirements. Additionally, spoilt children are often EXTREMELY un-appreciative and deluded about their wants & needs. When you're given everything, you're unable to distinguish between the two. This is well documented psychology. She clearly still needs therapy, but I think her issues may be coming from more of a place of entitlement, than under-privilege.
@@basictraineryeah often the roots drown and rot, then the plant has almost no roots so it looks like it needs water but giving it more water will rot the roots more so it’s end stage death spiral. It’s pretty metal /s
I don't dislike her. It just sounds like she never had money before so it makes sense that she is going ham right now. She seems like a nice person and I hope she gets her finances and spending in check.
Celeb explained why she’s untrustworthy 3 times and she yelled and got mad until she finally got it through her thick skull, this woman is insufferable.
I mean yeah... but as someone who lives in a country that normally has 2 digit monthly inflation and that las year had over 200% annual inflation, wasting the money you earn is TOTALLY a choice, especially when you're up to your chin covered in debt :P fr, you don't know how priviledged people in the us are to be able to SAVE MONEY. well, any country in which you are able to save without loosing half of it to inflation is priviledge lmao
@@ericdeleon967A lot of people here are financially illiterate, especially people in poverty. How can you learn to save money if you’ve been in a mindset where you lived on pennies and suddenly no longer have to?
Yes! I cringed at that part. Our pastor just did a series on proper stewardship of the finances we have been trusted with. Buying excessive clothing and luxury makeup is not a mature decision when you’re in debt at all.
Lack of follow-through: "The sluggard buries his hand in the dish and will not even bring it back to his mouth" (Proverbs 19:24 ESV). Lack of planning: "The sluggard does not plow in the autumn; he will seek at harvest and have nothing" (Proverbs 20:4 ESV).
I just noticed something about her. She literally asked if she could have a sip of water. She is struggling with scarcity mentality, especially with how many times she says "yes sir". I don't know what kind of environment she grew up in where she felt like she as an adult has to ask for a drink of water, but that is incredibly troubling to me. From a mental health standpoint.
no one asked you. even if you were a mental health professional, you said yourself that you don't know what environment she grew up in. so just quit talking about shit you don't understand.
“Yes sir” is the tradtionally respectful way to respond to a man in the south. I am a grown man, and I will reply “yes, sir” to most men who I don’t personally know. It’s just a traditionally respectful thing to do. Y’all read way too much into some of this shit. I agree the water thing was a bit odd - but she very well may just be acting overly-polite bc she’s nervous.
The amount of people that don’t realize they have an Amazon addiction is astounding… I am a mailman and I deliver several Amazon packages daily to addresses with overdraft notices and letters from their mortgage company. It is absolutely disgusting.
@@demontoaster5670 Average American woman is 5'4" statistically so she would be considered tall but it is easy to find tall pants for women at every clothing brand
I'll never repeat it enough : $50k-a-year audits are the best. It's the danger zone. It's the income level that psychologically enables the worst f* ups..
Couldn't agree more. I was a victim of the $40k-$60k jump after college. Lucky enough to have someone like Caleb hit me with the truth and be able to start to fix it!
She spends all that money on make up and clothes and works from home. I work from home and don’t wear make up. Today’s work from home outfit is a fleece, leggings and a long sleeve top with my slippers haha living the dream here!
@herrreineckherr9459 I sit like that as my glasses are broken and holding your nose higher keeps them on your face. However, I do agree that her body behavior speaks volumes!
@@herrreineckherr9459Jesus ur such a hater she’s obviously trying to keep it together during a stressful conversation ofc it’s fake she’s trying to have a respectful presentation while feeling all the feels inside
I'm glad to see the total debt counter back, but duuuuude please keep it up on the screen the entire episode! Even if it's only updated at certain intervals, it really improves the viewing experience by taking it from nebulous conversation to the concrete consequences of the bad spend.
I wonder how many other viewers know exactly where her idea/attitude about only buying stuff she loves comes from… there is a TON of social media content aimed at women preaching this exact message. In theory it is a good idea- pay for quality over quantity and instead of buying a bunch of junky makeup or clothes, hold off and pay for something better quality that will look better and last longer. However, in practice, this requires 1- being able to delay gratification and save up for quality items 2- being able to discern quality vs price 3- understanding that you slowly make swaps, you don’t just grab everything all at once and 4- the ultimate goal is to have LESS. If you aren’t able to keep those things in mind, the process is just more consumerism.
Absolutely. This is something that can also be done on a budget by learning about fibres and how to recognize sewing quality and then buying secondhand or vintage. I’m trying to do the same upgrade to quality items but I’m buying from vintage stores and then 1 or 2 heavily discounted designer items a year from The Real Real.
To: The team behind the videos. I see u listening to comments and adding things like the running debt counter, and getting into the financials a bit faster. Good job
A lot of people, including me in the past, don't seem to understand that just because you have the money to buy something that doesn't mean you can afford it.
Yup, I really couldn’t hate on her too much. I could totally relate to her way of thinking cause I had the same mentality only til 2 years ago….Credit cards being an “emergency fund”, normalizing debt and justifying it as “needs” but it’s really wants lol. So glad I’ve changed my mentality and started learning how to manage money now.
I grew up poor so I grew up being cheap and living within my means. My friends always are broke because they treat themselves out so much and I’m always just at home playing video games. Often times they’ll ask me for money, and or I’ll take them out to eat because why not
My read on her is that she's very sheltered, just recently started making a decent income, and genuinely has no idea how to handle her finances. Hopefully she'll come to understand the difference between spending on a credit card and actually having money. Actually having money means that you don't carry a balance from month to month, not just that you can make payments on time.
I definitely needed to read this comment! Im not like the person on the video, but I definitely see similarities! Not carrying a balance is having money, not just making payments. Thats powerful!
Yeah, to me her "lies" seem almost more like a knee-jerk reaction to something she hasn't really even thought about, or a subconscious rationalization of her spending. I imagine being confronted with information that is contrasting with her automatic viewpoint of "I have a good job. I make more money than I did before, therefore my situation isn't that bad. I need/deserve to buy these things." Sometimes Caleb is so rapid-fire with his accusations (which are generally correct/warranted), I think people like her can be caught off guard and feel as though Caleb is attacking their character, telling them they are a bad person. But in reality, he's just stating the facts which she, up to this point, has not really objectively considered.
Yup you can tell by how she talks, too. Seems like she's lowk trying to seem ultra sensitive to try to get babied. And why are you calling someone basically ur age sir? Seems like she's used to being a child and having some form of authority telling her what to do
I wish Caleb was a little nicer in his deliveries particularly with her. She feels attacked and is closing off within 10 minutes of this interview. The "no Sir" sounds like a recycled line used on a military father who controlled her entire life. She probably ran as far as she could as soon as she got out of there.
She get a decent wage for the first time. She went mad buying clothing and makeup because she suddenly realised that she could. What she failed to understand is that she could have done the same spending over a longer period of time without taking out credit and paying interest.
I can relate to this. The last 7 years, I've finally had solid income and haven't really paid attention to what to do with it. I only have some student loans (deferred, abated, pre-pandemic interest rates) and a car loan (pre-pandemic interest rate), but still... I could have done so much more with it Getting my shit together now but I lost the first (couldn't be helped) and second best decades of compound interest!
And she lives in a super expensive area. If she can work from home, she should see if she can move to a more affordable area close by and still work for the same company.
I can relate to her. I just move in to my new home and got a high-paying salary. The urge to buy home furnitures and put them in credit is pretty strong. I still have my old furnitures. Lols. I settle for buying one furniture per two weeks taken out from my salary instead.
I was at an all time low financiallya year and a half ago after i lost my job and wasnt able to find one that paid even CLOSE to the same. I ended up moving into an old RV on my dads property, and had to really start defining the difference between want and need. Ever since then it has astounded me how many people say they "need something" when it clearly is not a true need. I WANTED to use my AC but i didnt need it, so i suffered through the heat as much as i could. I WANTED to buy a new dress, but i already had 2 in my cloest and didnt NEED another one... Its pretty simple.
@meistlazer7188 It sure was uncomfortable for me, but I was staying at a friend's place in Texas that her parents paid for and they wouldn't let her turn on the AC during the summer 😂 I would get a sandwhich bag and fill it 1/5 of the way with ice cubes, put the bag on my neck, and head back to sleep. Worked amazing not gonna lie.
I'm glad you took this difficult time and learned from it. Many people don't look for anything to learn from tough times and just complain. Good on you.
She has the generational 'poor person' mindset (open cc for emergencies, go into debt to improve credit score, etc) which is why she isn't fully grasping Caleb's words and thought process. And caleb is getting frustrated. I was the same as her. She s going to have to slowly undo the decades of bad childhood advice by binging finance material. Maybe a light bulb will go off when she's in the shower.
Yeah undoing the bad financial mindsets takes time. It took me a lot of time. Binging financial content everyday helps a lot. I feel like once it sinks in, it actually becomes easier to change your lifestyle. Having "less nice stuff" actually makes me feel proud. Duh, right? Being responsible is something to be proud of.
She perceives her clothing as a “need” because when she was a child it seems her needs in that area weren’t met. Once she realizes that I think she’ll be able to get ahold over this.
When she said that part about where she originally came from or what she had growing up, that would've been a great space to plug some therapy. Caleb is usually good about finding ways to slip that in, but I think he allowed her delusion to really get to him this episode. I think she genuinely needed to hear it though.
@@jakeleisure8326it’s not on him to suggest a grown woman to get therapy… his speciality is finance advice not mental health. he has been kind enough to create space for mental health discussions in most episodes but it shouldn’t be an obligation.
I don't think anyone here is qualified / informed enough to say that. It could also be she perceives clothing as a "need" because she grew up spoilt and was given everything she wanted. When you're given everything you want, you begin to see things you want as an accepted necessity. Therefore wanting something immediately becomes an un-optional need. Spoilt children often have this mentality "i need this, i need that" and have long laundry lists of luxury requirements. Additionally, spoilt children are often EXTREMELY un-appreciative and deluded about their wants & needs. When you're given everything, you're unable to distinguish between the two. This is well documented psychology. She clearly still needs therapy, but I think her issues may be coming from more of a place of entitlement, than under-privilege.
@@dannystalford5029 you can’t start your comment saying no one is qualified to suggest therapy AND also end it with suggesting she needs therapy lol are you licensed? More importantly, you decided to create this far fetched assumption of what her backstory may be, of which doesn't add up with her childhood claim. and I paraphrase," growing up I never got a want, so this is me giving myself those things". To me this sounds like a child deprived from attention, neglected for her needs and wants. So now as an adult, she has her perception of priorities skewed. I see no tells of a spoiled child.
She needs to reduce her social media use, my statements looked similar when I had a shopping addiction and constantly compared myself to people online.
Fr bc all those justifications are just going to continue with house stuff and wedding stuff and kid stuff it’ll never end until she admits her wants are not needs
I think it's the first time I hear Caleb speaks so fast haha! On another note, I would like to thank you for what you are doing ! We can see that you clearly want to help people and bring awareness and you do ! Keep up your amazing work !
Couple areas of miscommunication: 1. Wants vs needs. She’s saying her wants is a need and not able to discern and be real with the difference. 2. Emergency CREDIT CARD vs Emergency FUND. I genuinely don’t think she understands the difference. 3. Caleb saying “you’re losing your second best decade of your life” in relation to retirement contributions and compound growth yet she took it as a personal shot that she’s getting old… 💀 I think she is def less financial literate and may need additional explanations what these terms mean for an actual productive and educational conversation
That was a great opportunity to teach, though. "If you want to retire at 60, that gives you 4 decades of savings to get there. Because of compounding interest, the earlier you start, the better. The same $100 would become drastically different figures at 60 if you saved them at 20, vs 30, or 40, or 50. That's why we say your best decade is behind you." The best time to plant a tree was yesterday. The second best time is today.
Shes 33 y’all come on at some point she needs to take accountability. She should absolutely know what these things are and they are her responsibility to learn and seek out information about.
Yeah that makeup justification was bs! I’m a milani girl as well! Essence mascara was better, for my lashes, than Lancôme! Do I use higher end powder? Yes. But drugstore makeup has come a long way from the early 2000’s.
Her perspective is very common and they are talking past each other. She doesn't understand needs versus wants. Her emotional attachment and overall positive feelings behind the clothes negate any want/need criteria.
I wish he’d slowed down and given her the very basics, because she doesn’t understand them. He jumped right to “the second best decade of compound growth” and “that money should have gone to retirement” when she needed to be at “if you spend more money than you make or are wracking up consumer debt (which he’d probably need to explain) then you ARENT affording your life” and “a credit score is a tool for specific things and doesn’t matter by itself.”
A lot of the things she said were like the headline to an article without the necessary background/context they hid in paragraph two. You could see it when he challenged her to speak to why one level deeper. It's almost like the question didn't make sense to her.
They didn't make sense to her because she couldn't, and didn't throughout the entire show, rationalize why anyone would question things associated with happiness and positivity. To her, she didn't see the spending as a negative thing - the fact that she spent outside her means made no difference and was trumped by how having the new clothes made her feel. Any negativity associated with that spending is so far down the value list it just can't process through her brain. It's goes beyond the clothes, its dopamine. Very likely, any follow up with her will see her in the exact same position in 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, any amount of time because she gets no dopamine reward from positive spending habits, but does get dopamine from negative spending habits. It's a cycle that won't break until it literally breaks her financially and she can't dig out. But even then, she will still find ways to spend.
I actually find this girl very pleasant and funny. She has some great points about living. Like the wardrobe thing, decreasing the number of decisions in day to day life. I vibe with you girl. Hope you are able to adjust your spending a little and still being able to treat yourself the things you love without going into more debt.
same! i also feel like he was unfairly short with her because when he asked she said she didnt have a spending problem, from the expenses it clearly looks like she isnt at a point yet where she can recognize she has a shopping addiction (been there) and then kept telling her she was lying to him :/
He wasn’t telling her that she was lying, just that he couldn’t believe her. Those are two different things. I think he recognized that she truly believed the things she was telling him, because they are the things she told herself a million times so she could feel better about her debt and still keep spending in spite of it. We believe the “truths” we tell ourselves.
@@20GaugeSX4what’s crazy, as a woman who is 5’11” and lives in Texas, is that Target DOES carry “weird sizes” 😂 I have plenty of pants that fit me from there
She works from home... she doesnt need that many items of clothes 🤦🏻♀️ and Im 5ft9 and long leg and I can buy in Target... she is focusing too much on her wants
If anything she only needs a couple good blouses and like two or three dress pants and one pair of shoes. Vast majority of zoom meetings (which is absolutely not daily for many people) are just midsection and up. Its very possible to get a pack of formal shirts, two on sale pairs of pants, and one 40$ pair of dress shoes at Target. She just doesn’t WANT to do that
i’m a 5’10” woman with long legs too.. and I don’t use that as a reason to spend a ridiculous amount of money on pants lol. literally all most people need is like 5 pairs of pants max … it shouldn’t be costing THOUSANDS from clearance sales??? and no one actually NEEDS sweats or yoga pants especially if she doesn’t even do yoga 😭 like just wear your pyjamas inside and jeans outside it’s not that complicated
Factor box is not a good sponsorship for you since you tell people to make sandwiches and save money. Having them sign up for a fee based food option isnt authentic to your message
As a hairstylist and make up artist, saying that make up last longer that high end is not true. They are all the same amounts. The drugstore make up just has cheaper packaging and not as expensive formulations. That’s the only difference.
I was so confused by her blush comment. What did she mean a cheap blush won’t last years? They’re powders, they can last years (unless u break the powder). If anything they’re hard to hit pan with.
Not a makeup user, but don't they all come with 1-2 year expiration dates no matter the "quality" of the brand? I want to say that after opening, most makeup should be switched out within a couple years.
This reminds me of the episode of Sex and the City when Carrie doesn’t have money to buy her apartment from Aidan and is wondering where all her money went and one of her friends tells her she spent $40,000 on shoes and Carrie is shook.
I will always hate Carrie Bradshaw for getting mad that Charolette didn’t want to help her out and when Charolette pointed out her bad spending, carried shamed her for that
believe they mentioned that was 10% of pre-tax income too. Indoctrination is gross, hope she can learn to put herself before an organization to get financially set up.
It’s generally called a tithe, and yes, it’s a part of most Christian branches I’m aware of. The way I understand it best is giving money to your church community in some way, whether to someone directly in need or to the church itself and they can distribute the funds as needed. I personally prefer to do 10% net income, but I’m sure other people give differently. Giving this specific amount as a tithe is an older tradition than the New Testament in the Bible, but Christians are specifically commanded to give generously and cheerfully (and yes, both are important). It might be wise for her to consult her church leaders or Christian friends about how to handle it since she is so deep in debt. But as someone who is also crawling out of debt, I commend her for still trying to give generously. She definitely does need to get a better handle on her finances, but giving to her church might not be something she needs to cut down on or cut out if she can handle other things better.
I work online. When I first started, the way the bedrooms were laid out, my kids were pretty much in the same space. I just trained them to be quiet while I was working. My partner was also working online... I literally put up a mattress to create some soundproofing. It was a while before I got my own space to work... after I had saved enough to be able to create it. These people don't understand waiting. This woman is lacking in comprehension... he tells her exactly why he doesn't trust what she says and she's all, "you're calling me a liar!" No. That's not what he said. Sigh. People are infuriating.
I agree, as someone that’s gullible and naive at times. But mine so much more dangerous and I need to learn to not give people the benefit of the doubt
Yeah, it seemed like all the toxic Dave Ramsey fans flocked to Caleb's channel to shot on people who are financially illiterate. Don't get me wrong, some of these guests have deserved it, but majority do need an outsider looking in their finances to try to help them get a reality check. Actually stopped watching Caleb for a bit because all the comments were "wHat An IdIoT! I wOuLd NEVER bE tHaT dUmB!". Like cool, ok, but statistically speaking, most people make these same mistakes. Why bother watching if only to get a weird superiority high?
She lacks understanding of financial literacy. Like she has noooo clue what Caleb is talking about. So I think he missed opportunities to teach her. She came in floor level and he started at the table.
I wonder if there's an opportunity to reframe the conversation at the start: "hey, all these statements, all this spending, all these decisions... that was past you. You came on this show because you want to learn and change. I'm not attacking you. Together, WE are digging into past you to understand what got you there, and together we'll get present and future you on a new path." I feel like that small change can help with the defensive guests that feel attacked.
@@joynerrperez I agree. I love the show, but I think he doesn't always understand just HOW naive some people are when it comes to finances. He talks about "interest accruing" and I honestly think many of these people don't even know what an interest rate means and why making minimum payments doesn't actually pay it off! He needs to better explain how credit works. He needs to go back to the very, very basics with some of these guests.
@wombatnumbat989 Their parents were soft and nice and you see where that got them. Caleb doesn't need to be soft and nice. Some people need a swift kick in the rear to get it together.
@@JS-kc2xs I can confirm 5’8 can be difficult to find correct inseam for off the rack. Keep in mind the average woman’s height in America is under 5’4. So the average pant will be 4 inches too short. Then add the height of your heel on top. Old navy is the most affordable place to find long inseams.
@@JS-kc2xs Finding jeans for my short ass is a challange, I have to cut and sew all of them. I swear jeans are only made for the average american female and everything outside of that is an after-thought
5 things I learned so far: 1. Opening up a credit card for stores (Victoria Secret's, Macy's, etc.) is a no-no. 2. Cook at home. Make your own coffee. Treating yourself to $7-$10 coffee every day adds up. 3. Is it a want or a need? Do you really need it? 4. Budget Budget Budget Budget. Build that retirement & emergency fund. 5. Take accountability when you do make an unnecessary purchase.
The easiest thing mentally is to always do the "right" thing. Imagine what a badass would do in a situation and try to do that as much as possible. Would a badass take out a bunch of debt for clothes? Nope a badass would be so badass that they would get clothes for free for being so hot, or they would find a way to get clothes for cheap and make them look good. I used to have a mindset of "sacrifice today for tomorrow", but I realized that wasn't enough. A true badass doesn't have to sacrifice today for tomorrow, a true badass makes EVERY day a great day. They figure out how to get what they want now and in the future. A true badass doesn't need to cope, doesn't need to have days off, doesn't need compensate. A true badass makes things work. We all know this deep down. A true badass works hard, is in shape, communicates well with people, is the COMPLETE package.
They do understand. They lack accountability. In the back of their head, they totally know and have justified their poor habits and refuse to be held accountable. Idk. Maybe that is some kind of primitive form of self preservation.
She says she needs long sizes at 5'8" 😭 I'm 5'9 and a woman myself and everything in Target fits beautifully. Thrifting also exists. Jesus lawd these videos make me feel like a saint.
I think it depends on proportions. I’m 5’8 and also struggle with not finding jeans that fit if they’re not long sizes. My country doesn’t have target so not sure about that, but old navy is definitely a great option.
One thing I love about this series, apart from valuable lessons on financial literacy, is getting to hear about so many different jobs and industries. Doing so offers insight on salary expectations as well!
This one made me feel really uncomfortable as Caleb's behaviour really came across as bullying, condescending and deliberately trying to humiliate her. You could genuinely see from her body language that she couldn't understand why she was accused of lying and he couldn't coherently explain his rationale, just got more and more shouty. Completely understand that people need tough love and a strong message, but he crossed the line and it came across as abusive.
To me, she came across as combative and obtuse regarding her mistakes financially, and he was clearly getting angry, assuming she was making excuses and shifting blame. He didn't handle it well and did speak with condescension, but she was also contradicting her own story over and over again. I don't think his reaction was bullying, she needed someone to call her out
Idk, that is kind of the formula he works with. Is it a bit much? It can be. Do some people need a smack, yes. In fact, most/all people need one at some point. Does his method work for everyone? Probably not. If this kind of aggressive confrontation doesn't work for you, I would say, don't be a guest on his show. She wanted the exposure, she didn't do her due diligence, to see what she was actually getting herself into. It is obvious that several people come on the show for exposure.
@@helianabanes4875 Honestly Heliana I can't argue against anything you have written; she went on for exposure, knew what she was getting into, and clearly needed to be challenged. But it was the fact he called her a liar. It's such a powerful word, that resonate so deeply, questioning a persons integrity, and identity. From her reaction I think it caused her real mental harm. So many of the interventions deal with complex mental health issues, I just thought this one may have caused the participant distress. But I may just be projecting my own sensitivities onto her situation.
@@JonathanMLParker you don't have to argue anything. If you felt like that was across the line, then, for you, it is. :). You probably are projecting, right? So am I. Perception is super crazy like that, and every single second of our past seems to contribute to the way we view things. This is probably why we can actually say there are no two people in the world, who are exactly the same. I like to hear the opinions of others, and share mine. Especially, when it is civil, like this exchange. Thanks for that! :)
@@helianabanes4875 The very least you deserve Heliana is a civilised response, you are very articulate and I sincerely appreciate your thought-provoking comments. Of course you are right, I am projecting, I believe we are all doing it, all the time on a deep subconscious level. I am sensitive and got the feeling she was too from her body language, but then maybe I have been watching to much of 'The Behaviour Panel'. Perception as you say is 'super crazy'. Just from your words and your photo, I already have an identity in my head created through my perception of the person you are. I think many times our past experiences in life almost fill in the gaps in information we perceive using all of our senses.
I think she never meant to lie here. She thought you wanted to know her own personal reasoning for why she thought she needed it. So I can understand why she would feel triggered being told she was just lying to you.
My thoughts too. But I also understand that Caleb would find her defensive. She sounded more reasonable during the budget part and asked good questions.
She was definitely lying, she said she was buying clothes from there because she couldnt find her sizes elsewhere. Yet she bought thousands of dollars worth of clothes. You dont need that many.
Small world, i met Karis when she lived in south florida. I would have never thought i would see anyone i knew on this. If you read this, Good luck Karis!
I also used the excuse “well I never had it so I’ll buy it now” And it keeps you broke , get over what happened to you and think about where you’re going .
Everyone’s different cause I never had nothing growing up and shopped at thrift stores for cloths and now I’m a major penny pincher and put everything in the bank and have had the same 3 pairs of Walmart jeans for a few years now.
Mhm, sadly it’s still a struggle for me. I’ve had a few people sit me down about it and I’m really trying. At least now if there’s something I really want I make sure I advertise art commissions and a Make sure I have the funds before I splurge on anything that’s a want. Even if it’s in game micro transactions. I have to earn it before I spend it. It feels a lot better to do it this way than before😅
I love the branching out that's happening. The whole team is getting in on making the current show better and adding in some new things to keep it interesting. ❤❤
When she said "What are my needs" I nearly spit out my lunch I packed for work. OMG a credit card isn't for emergencies, your emergency fund is for emergencies. Going into debt when you're in a vulnerable position is how the death spiral starts.
I just started watching the episode and saw your comment and my jaw dropped! I'm 30 and make a similar income..I track my expenses and know roughly how much I need every month. It seems ignorant to not know that answer especially when you live on your own. I hope she is able to learn from Caleb to grow in the future 🤗
@@bhnurse16 she's 33 and her parents are still paying for things. She's suffering from lifestyle creep, went from nothing to $50k a year and adjusted her living standard to it. She won't listen to Caleb, she lives in a defensive mindset. It's a painful episode to watch.
I think I am actually addicted to watching this show. I’ve been averaging 4-5 episodes a day for the last week. I thought I was on the right track to getting my finances together until I started watching. I heard a lot of my own excuses from guests on this show and I realized how ignorant I was being towards my situation when it was coming out of someone else’s mouth. My financial ignorance is what got me into this mess, not anything or anyone else. This show has helped me take responsibility for my actions and has helped me make a plan. I’m currently saving so I can buy the hammer budgeting tool, can’t wait! Thanks for this content Caleb, you woke me up from my own ignorance.
I was thinking I'm doing well (I do not have debt), but only Caleb yelling "you should invest 20% of income (after you fix your debt situation)" told me how much better I can be.
@@ladrok97I thought the exact same (also don’t have any debt). I was contributing 12% to my 401k and after hearing him say it so many times I upped it to 16% for 2024 and just dumped tons into my roth IRA maxing it out for 2023 and budgeted how much I need per month to put in for 2024. Thanks Caleb.
Oh hey I’m a GIS Technician! Very cool to see someone in my same field. This sounds like me too. Your videos are helping me out a lot Caleb. Thank you.
I love financial audit, that being said Caleb does sometimes come off as condescending when a guest is genuinely confused by financial jargon. He talks quickly and if you aren’t finically literate, like most guests aren’t on this show I can see how it can be easy to get lost or confused.
I wished he’d explain to them rather than going into mad “I’m not angry I’m disappointed”- dad mode. I genuinely don’t think a lot of these people know what the terms are and what it means to them. I see him getting them to repeat back to him what he said in their own words. I think some of them need more of this. I’ve seen doctor Mike videos where patients parrot back but they don’t actually understand, they know to parrot but they don’t understand the context.
Totally, when he was asking about taking advantage of credit, he could give an example of what he means by that. He was just repeating the same phrase. She understood, it just took a minute.
Ugh i dont understand coming on a financial audit show, then getting pissy about being called out on unnecessary purchases. Like either you want the advice and help or you just want to be argumentative and stay in debt for the rest of your life.. Caleb you are a saint trying to help people who arnt ready to change.
I think it’s more of an addition thing. People might go to rehab and I’m sure they fight and argue and say they were not addicted at times. It doesn’t mean they don’t want the help.
A lot of people have justified a lot of their actions already in their head so they don't really see an issue with it. They might see someone on the show who eats out every single day and spends all their money and they can realize that what they're doing is wrong but as soon as they get called out on the same thing they feel like they were justified and no one understands their individual circumstances. Also a lot of people just don't have personal responsibility lol
Bro it comes down to how you engage with the other person this dude operates on guilt and fear and shame to try to change people which automatically causes people to become defensive. Not to mention the literal screaming at them and performative flailing why are you surprised that people fight back. I mean I get why he does it it’s for views and clout but who tf would want to deal with that
Okay she's a 32 year old woman, she should be mature enough at this stage of life to realize she made poor decisions spending funds she didn't have on wants. It's okay to make poor decisions they're in the past. But continuing to justify and being defensive and argumentative isn't going to help her grow and change her future. She also signed up to be on the show. So you'd think someone signing up would be open to criticism and advice..
OMG that end portion of the video was SO GREAT. Much needed ended to a tough to watch video. She totally lit up when he complimented her and was kind to her and very obviously wanting to help her, she seemed so relieved. Idk if that guy is single or not but he needs to maybe ask her out if so lol.
In that moment where tensions were getting high and she seemed to be on the verge of tears, I'm really glad Caleb caught onto that and diffused it. She was not ready for all the yelling and his way of going about things at all lol, I don't think she knew how this show works. I do hope she takes away a positive message from this and realizes no one here wants to antagonize her, or we don't want her to ever have good things. It's all about balance.
GIS is a deceptively useful field. It underpins a lot of the fields we take for granted logistics, transport, weather, civil engineering, wildlife management....
I’m learning that my spending is a camouflage for me not having self care. It’s easier to buy things than working out, however you look and feel so much better with self care versus buying new things.
I do the same! Ugh, right now I’m doing my last batch of finals before graduating uni and I’m so stressed I keep wanting to buy clothes lol staying strong tho
I feel like Caleb really fumbled the ball on this one. Unlike alot of guests, she clearly knows and admits that she made a mistake, and wants to work through her debt, but isn't fully certain on how or where to begin. I think it's wrong to come off so aggressively towards her. Like yea, she went on a shopping spree, and racked up too much debt. Absolutely criticize her for that, but once she's literally said "That choice was really dumb." then move on towards how to fix it, not asking for justification over and over.
Playing a bit of devil's advocate, if I worked from home, I would need to "dress up for work" because psychologically, I can't be productive on sweatpants and hoodie. There's something about putting on a "uniform" that helps me get in the mindset to do work and then being able to take it off at the end of the day, again, sends a mental signal that "work is officially done". Same with the workplace. However if she got a 1bd and bought a portable divider stand, she could make a "home office" in the corner of a living room/studio area and still make it feel like a "separate" space.
I’ve been working with my nine-year-old child on understanding the difference between wants and needs. Watching this show makes me realize there are many, MANY fully-grown adults who are completely unable to distinguish between the two. Wild to witness
Regarding the tithing issue ... I didn't tithe when I was getting out of debt. I found other ways to give and they were through time and service. That was greatly appreciated and affirmed by the church I was attending at the time. When I was out from under the debt, I started tithing again. Simple.
I agree and have been on both sides. I would just caution for people to check their heart if they find themselves getting into debt so they don’t feel like they have to tithe
Hi Caleb! Im new to your channel. Its really great insight and I listen to these whenever Im tempted to buy something dumb. You are a very entertaining personality and I understand that the moments where you get excited/ emphatic is a big way you hold viewer interest. I would just recommend thinking of it like a switch- switch goes on for entertainment, switch goes off when you genuinely need to explain something. These people obviously will not understand what you are saying, thats how they got in this mess. Ive seen a couple interviews that are ended with a sense of “oh well, you arent really going to fix this, you arent capable”. I understand that sentiment is a reflection of a conversation, but you are part of that conversation. If you really want to help people, you should consider a different type of communication.
Also being newer to his channel, I've been thinking about this a lot. Big, intense reactions may make good content for likes and clicks, but it feels like these reactions are heavily taking away from actual learning moments. Same thing with even the thumbnails. I don't think it would subtract from people watching his videos if the thumbnails weren't so exaggerated. A great example is often the back/forth asking what purchases were, the guest explains, and he gets more reactive. Often it doesn't seem like they are defending it. They are just explaining their reason for the purchase and thought process at the time. Instead of taking it as defending themselves it would be more beneficial to check to make sure they understand why it was a poor choice and what thought process they should use in the future to make better choices.
During the time that she cannot afford tithing ten percent, she can volunteer in her church community where they need the most help. She and they will still benefit.
It's a total scam, especially since many of the churches that expect tithing don't even give that money to the needy. So many of these people are giving money so that pastors can buy giant homes and private jets.
I really wish that caleb would learn to check in with 'are you explaining why you did it at the time- or are you saying it was justified.' Because like... of course people have reasons they thought something was a good idea? And they can't have changed their behavior based on what he's taught them... until they've learned something. So of course they say very similar things over and over again- because the statements are a reflection of past behavior. Not whether or not they're currently listening.
When I started watching Caleb I was like 4k in credit card debt between like 3 cards and in the last 5 months I've literally gotten every card and my medical bills down to ZEROOOOOO . I have one very low interest loan out because I financed a quad like 2.5 years ago and it's almost paid off so I'm just finishing it monthly lol im so proud of myself 😂😂❤
Delusional. When she essentially said “Higher end make up is better than Walmart make up” She is wrong, high end luxury items in my own experience are just crap, with a fancy label. Both make up & fashion goods. No one can tell what is on your face be it 5$ blush or 100$ blush. Ridiculous!!! Some of the best make products I’ve ever used are from drugstores.
I stopped believing high end makeup is better when I learned that the same companies make both high end and drugstore makeup. The only difference I see is in packaging. Also? Drug store makeup lasts just as long as high end, it just depends on how many grams/oz of product there is
I have tried both. Luxury brands tend to apply and wear better. That is irrelevant, though. She can’t afford it. Flying private is so much better than commercial, but guess what? I CAN’T AFFORD IT!! Therefore, I fly commercial. I am not ENTITLED to the “better” option just because it is “better”. I have to be able to pay for it.
high end makeup absolutely doesn’t last longer than walmart makeup lmao like you are gonna run through a powder just as fast if it’s $5 or $60 dollars and if it’s not as pigmented then MAYBE you’ll use it a little quicker
I was also thinking when she said that it expires rather quickly regardless of price. Unfortunately I end up having to toss stuff because I don't wear it often and can't go through it in a year. Makeup isn't meant to last a decade, if it's expired it can start growing bacteria, the ingredients break down, the consistency gets weird, etc.
this is the first time i felt caleb was laying into the guest way too much and almost unnecessarily. horrible spending habits? yes. but i dont think she needed such a beatdown. she held herself together wonderfully. she should be proud. i wish the best for her and hope she gets out of debt. another great audit, caleb. thank you!
Take my word, your office plants are dying 🤣 The type of palm you have does not do well indoors. Look up kentia palm, birds of paradise and golden pothos those would be great background plants that would do better in low light. But keep up on the watering! that fig tree is almost impossible to kill yet your succeeding lol
I do like the fact Caleb has highlighted how exploitive credit one is. I remember that credit card being pushed towards students when I was in community college. Credit cards, in general, really do prey on lower income people who don’t have disposable income or don’t have an emergency fund.
i also understand her becoming defensive, i have really bad auditory processing issues and found i couldnt keep up with what was being said this episode, even on concepts i understand
I have ADHD and a shopping addiction. I have it under control now but the money I have wasted I hate to think about. I at least had the discipline to pay off my student loan, buy cars in cash and never to carry a balance on a card. I've never paid interest on anything other than a mortgage and council taxes. But it'll still ruin your life if you can't get it under control, even without debt in the mix.
The ADHD also explains the difference in Caleb saying shes just lying and coming up with excuses ans her just explaining her reasoning as it happened in her brain
A woman with 3 years of dating experience here - similar to addressing financial budgeting “head on”, I found it was much easier and more enjoyable to schedule a Thursday or Friday evening “cold calling”. Since texting can create a false sense of intimacy, I would pick 2 or 3 people who messaged me that I liked and give them a google phone number (safety, don’t be giving out your #) to call at X time that evening. After doing this once a week I became good at knowing if this person could have a good conversation in about 10 minutes. If I liked them, I’d ask them on a date that weekend, if not I’d thank them for their time and move on. 30 minutes once a week, ya’ll got this. 🎉
@@NoahChryslerno the hell it isn’t. Tf I look like jumping through all those hoops for a chick immediately, I bet she gives a bunch of ultimatums over the smallest things
This sounds wonderful actually. I hate texting w ppl bc I'll put my phone down between texts and the convo just never flows bc I get distracted then pick it up again or fee anxious to open what they said. And even tho I'm generally introverted, I do better at scheduled phone calls since it's focused time rather than spread out. I might have to try this!!
I worked from home (before it was a thing like it is now) for 15 years of my 30 year career. I purchased all my suits that I had to use to go into the office with the first 15 years of my career from the thrift shop in a very wealthy neighborhood. I had every designer name suit possible and they were all no more than 15 bucks a piece. Once I retired , I donated them to an organization who gives suits and clothes to women who are fresh out of college and have tremendous student loan debt.
would you like to chuckle at the suffering of innocent children, while your god claims to be all powerful, all knowing, all forgiving and ever-present? You know, those innocent children who (for example) suffer from bone cancer? After all, YOUR god endorsed rape, incest, genocide, slavery and infanticide. VERY humorous, I'm sure. Moral hypocrite!!!
I also had a bit of a surprised chuckle at that. There’s so many commonly quoted verses that are more specific to finance/gifts/stewardship that I wasn’t expecting this one!
I was looking for this comment LOL Context of that quote is completely unrelated to the point he was trying to make and she still nodded her head in agreement.
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Does the code not work to reactivate a subscription? Factor site isn't accepting that code for me
These thumnails and titles are fire!
@@francetoronto it almost looks like they are using a program to zoom it based on motion. It is a bit jarring. I hardly ever noticed because I keep it on in the background.
Caleb: here's a message your guests need to hear: "Just because you can pay for something doesn't mean you can afford it." If you make $4000 a month but your rent is $3500 sure you get the dollars to pay it, it doesn't mean it's not fucking you.
"The Lord provides" - GIRL HE HAS, YOU'VE SPENT IT AT EXPRESS
Lmao perfectly said!!
I wonder if she tithes.
Bahahaha too true
😂😂😂
@@jvolstad Watch till the end
“I haven’t bought clothes in a long time, like a whole month” girl I’ve been alternating the same 8 t-shirts for the last 2 years.
Our yearly income is over 150k. I just bought 4 new t-shirts to add to the ones I got at Michael’s for $3.00 each! One pair of new pants in the last 4 years. I do have new Bombas Sox coming tomorrow! This sad chick needs to grow up!
I wear mine till they're covered in holes, then they become sleeping shirts.
I haven't purchased clothing in 15 years 😂. I am not broke
A MONTH?! I'm a broke ass college student and I havent been able to buy new clothes in like 10 months. Wtf do you even need 20+ outfits for??? NOBODY GIVES A F***
@@frederickvalencia4976 me too, yay for repairing our clothes.
If she’s trying to ‘build a wardrobe’ that’s something that happens OVER TIME - not over the course of a single month.
I was wondering why she didn't just buy a couple things here and there, but she NEEDED to not wear jeans apparently.
She works from home who's gonna see her. Biggest cop out for debt!
Your taste and preferences at such a young age change. In 5 years she wont even like the clothes she bought!
You can also thrift items that you love for half the price
From the sounds of it, this was over time... She just spends exorbitantly over time
She went to school. Actually works in the field she studies. Works Full time. But spends to much on unnecessary things. On top of that she seems like she WANTS to change. Shell do better than 90 percent of the people on this show.
I agree!
Agreed
I don't think so, she is completely detected from society
The sad part for me is that if she didn't do the Church thing most probably she would be okay, a lot of people don't get it that you have to take care of yourself before taking care of others. like Caled said in the long run is way better. fix your shit first.
@ZielAmerak 🚩↑ Agreed! Helping people is wonderful, but a hand up goes much farther than a handout.
And if we don't take care of ourselves, our family, our home *_FIRST_* then we won't be able to continue offering help to those in need, bc we'll be *_DEPLETED._*
And that goes for whether we're talking about a single person, a family, a church, a city, state or entire nation.
The insane thing about the clothes thing is that SHE WORKS FROM HOME
Caleb said that so quietly...I expected the high pitch scream saying it.
I work from home and rarely buy clothes. Even if I have work trips or office visits I already have clothes and shoes from before pandemic shutdown
I'd save bank if I could just get the top half of a wardrobe for zoom calls lmao
@@skonew As someone who works remotely in a corporate job, I do have to buy new clothing for events because I don't own flattering business casual or business formal anymore. 🤷🏼♀️ Not uncommon.
I really would love the tally of just what she kept from Express... And Vince Camuto shoes???? Girl needed one, maybe two pairs of pants for a work trip and one pair of shoes.
“No amount of spending can make up for childhood deprivation.” Said someone wise at Debtors Anonymous to me. Years ago. She was RIGHT
That is a punch in the gut of reality. Damn. I did need to hear that.
I needed this reminder, thank you!
That's a great saying. I honestly didn't know there were groups for people on debt. It's really cool that people who need it can get help and know they aren't the only ones needing to get their life straightened out.
Truly. Have difficulty restraining myself from spending on wants because "I deserve this from dealing with not having food when I was young"
I don't think anyone here is qualified / informed enough to say that. It could also be she perceives clothing as a "need" because she grew up spoilt and was given everything she wanted. When you're given everything you want, you begin to see things you want as an accepted necessity. Therefore wanting something immediately becomes an un-optional need.
Spoilt children often have this mentality "i need this, i need that" and have long laundry lists of luxury requirements.
Additionally, spoilt children are often EXTREMELY un-appreciative and deluded about their wants & needs. When you're given everything, you're unable to distinguish between the two. This is well documented psychology.
She clearly still needs therapy, but I think her issues may be coming from more of a place of entitlement, than under-privilege.
For the love of god Caleb, water your plants
Some people are credit card people and not plant people. He is not a plant person.
Other people are saying it’s too much water 🤔
Are they paying rent?
@@Daladunthey pay in oxygen lol
@@basictraineryeah often the roots drown and rot, then the plant has almost no roots so it looks like it needs water but giving it more water will rot the roots more so it’s end stage death spiral. It’s pretty metal /s
I don't dislike her. It just sounds like she never had money before so it makes sense that she is going ham right now. She seems like a nice person and I hope she gets her finances and spending in check.
Ya when I obtained dual incomes. . . I fell for the lifestyle inflation. Still went broke every month because, “I wanted to buy $500 jeans” 😂
Celeb explained why she’s untrustworthy 3 times and she yelled and got mad until she finally got it through her thick skull, this woman is insufferable.
I mean yeah... but as someone who lives in a country that normally has 2 digit monthly inflation and that las year had over 200% annual inflation, wasting the money you earn is TOTALLY a choice, especially when you're up to your chin covered in debt :P fr, you don't know how priviledged people in the us are to be able to SAVE MONEY. well, any country in which you are able to save without loosing half of it to inflation is priviledge lmao
@@ericdeleon967😂m
@@ericdeleon967A lot of people here are financially illiterate, especially people in poverty. How can you learn to save money if you’ve been in a mindset where you lived on pennies and suddenly no longer have to?
The three biggest problems I see on this show.
1. Lack of personal responsibility.
2. The need to be Right.
3. The ability to delay gratification.
Also belief you should borrow money just to borrow money
Those are also the biggest character flaws in society in general
I count "mental health as an excuse for shitty financial decisions" as part of 1.
4. Prioritization (also possibly lack of goals)
4. Using credit cards to "raise a credit score"...and maxes them instead of just charging a water bill to it you pay off every month.
Every episode:
> how do I make a change
> do this
> I don’t want to
> ok well if you want to make a change you have to
> why do you hate me?
us britannios and the americanas are the worst at taking accountability
Yup
Emotional immaturity.
I don’t think that’s what was happening in this episode but generally agree
Accurate. 😆
As a Christian I sigh every time someone throws “the Lord will provide” out there while completely ignoring the call to proper stewardship
Just keep praying
Yes! I cringed at that part.
Our pastor just did a series on proper stewardship of the finances we have been trusted with. Buying excessive clothing and luxury makeup is not a mature decision when you’re in debt at all.
Lack of follow-through: "The sluggard buries his hand in the dish and will not even bring it back to his mouth" (Proverbs 19:24 ESV).
Lack of planning: "The sluggard does not plow in the autumn; he will seek at harvest and have nothing" (Proverbs 20:4 ESV).
@maddywadsworth4312 so proper stewardship means takjng care of your finances, or more generally, your life?
@@nicolcacolaalso.... Prov 22:7: “The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is slave of the lender.
I just noticed something about her. She literally asked if she could have a sip of water. She is struggling with scarcity mentality, especially with how many times she says "yes sir". I don't know what kind of environment she grew up in where she felt like she as an adult has to ask for a drink of water, but that is incredibly troubling to me. From a mental health standpoint.
I have the same 😢 shamed for having basic needs
no one asked you. even if you were a mental health professional, you said yourself that you don't know what environment she grew up in. so just quit talking about shit you don't understand.
“Yes sir” is the tradtionally respectful way to respond to a man in the south.
I am a grown man, and I will reply “yes, sir” to most men who I don’t personally know. It’s just a traditionally respectful thing to do.
Y’all read way too much into some of this shit. I agree the water thing was a bit odd - but she very well may just be acting overly-polite bc she’s nervous.
@@TurdFurgeson275 Back home in Louisiana its always yes and no maam/sir
As other's are saying, "yes sir", "yes ma'am" is a southern thing. If you're not from the south, I don't think you can relate.
The amount of people that don’t realize they have an Amazon addiction is astounding… I am a mailman and I deliver several Amazon packages daily to addresses with overdraft notices and letters from their mortgage company. It is absolutely disgusting.
So the mailman knows all my biz? Lol
@@codybaxter9939 more than you know, and more than we would like to know tbh lol
Sad. You have no idea
Exactly. I don't see the hype about Amazon shopping. I've only bought a handful stuff from there whether it's for my household stuff or for my family
Amazon is convenient but I am so sick of junk they sell
As a Target employee, I promise you Target sells $28 jeans in long sizes, especially if you’re shopping online 🙄🙄
She's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
It made me really mad she outright lied about clothes, for tall people, when she's only 5'8" ..... a standard height for Americans
@@demontoaster5670 Average American woman is 5'4" statistically so she would be considered tall but it is easy to find tall pants for women at every clothing brand
She just wanted to make an excuse for her spending. @@demontoaster5670
She works from home. How much clothing does she need?
I'll never repeat it enough : $50k-a-year audits are the best. It's the danger zone. It's the income level that psychologically enables the worst f* ups..
I went from $30k to $55k a year and I was a financial duck up lol. Fixing young me’s mistakes now
so true! just enough to make you think you are doing ok not enough to buy your way out of mistakes.
Couldn't agree more. I was a victim of the $40k-$60k jump after college. Lucky enough to have someone like Caleb hit me with the truth and be able to start to fix it!
Me who just bought an M4 making 50k 😂
She spends all that money on make up and clothes and works from home. I work from home and don’t wear make up. Today’s work from home outfit is a fleece, leggings and a long sleeve top with my slippers haha living the dream here!
She is the most well mannered person on the show, saying Sir and sorry and please. Hope she is doing good.
Maybe it's me - but the fact she sits there and holding her nose higher then the rest of her face just tells me it's fake behaviour
@herrreineckherr9459 I sit like that as my glasses are broken and holding your nose higher keeps them on your face. However, I do agree that her body behavior speaks volumes!
She kinda gives me a kink vibe, like a Dom/sub situation
@@herrreineckherr9459Jesus ur such a hater she’s obviously trying to keep it together during a stressful conversation ofc it’s fake she’s trying to have a respectful presentation while feeling all the feels inside
@@herrreineckherr9459 It's probably because of how low she wears her glasses.
I'm glad to see the total debt counter back, but duuuuude please keep it up on the screen the entire episode! Even if it's only updated at certain intervals, it really improves the viewing experience by taking it from nebulous conversation to the concrete consequences of the bad spend.
Omg I used to say this but it always gets lost
YES PLEASE THIS
Pleaseee, we’ve been asking this for too long!
This whoever keeps taking away the debt counter for some reason expects people to count it all throughout the show 🤦🏼
Omg yea please!! I don’t remember all the numbers in my head I need more visuals that stay!
I wonder how many other viewers know exactly where her idea/attitude about only buying stuff she loves comes from… there is a TON of social media content aimed at women preaching this exact message. In theory it is a good idea- pay for quality over quantity and instead of buying a bunch of junky makeup or clothes, hold off and pay for something better quality that will look better and last longer. However, in practice, this requires
1- being able to delay gratification and save up for quality items
2- being able to discern quality vs price
3- understanding that you slowly make swaps, you don’t just grab everything all at once and
4- the ultimate goal is to have LESS.
If you aren’t able to keep those things in mind, the process is just more consumerism.
It's also supposed to be slow upgrades, not a complete overhaul at once
Absolutely. This is something that can also be done on a budget by learning about fibres and how to recognize sewing quality and then buying secondhand or vintage. I’m trying to do the same upgrade to quality items but I’m buying from vintage stores and then 1 or 2 heavily discounted designer items a year from The Real Real.
@@TH0KH#3
yesss, this is a skill and it takes YEARS of cultivating
I was thinking exactly this
To: The team behind the videos.
I see u listening to comments and adding things like the running debt counter, and getting into the financials a bit faster. Good job
Agreed ❤ we luv u Caleb and team 🎉
I really hope her and the dating profile expert at the end went on a date ngl
Who on earth would want to date someone this dumb?
Yes, they need to get together!!!
yeah, people should make relationships with people that make poor financial decisions, that's why we're here...
was looking for this comment 😂😂
Your thumbnails are so consistently God-tier recently. Whoever is making those was a solid hire.
I keep sharing these on the socials and slowing bringing more people to the Caleb Hammer lifestyle, I love it.
yes! esp this one and the model one. chef's kiss!
They really get more outta pocket as time goes on.
Check out the vlogs, you can see us make them! youtube.com/@calebhammervlogs?si=-WcHwRAz9dbZhvUg
That url doesn't work @@CalebHammer
A lot of people, including me in the past, don't seem to understand that just because you have the money to buy something that doesn't mean you can afford it.
Yup, I really couldn’t hate on her too much. I could totally relate to her way of thinking cause I had the same mentality only til 2 years ago….Credit cards being an “emergency fund”, normalizing debt and justifying it as “needs” but it’s really wants lol.
So glad I’ve changed my mentality and started learning how to manage money now.
I grew up poor so I grew up being cheap and living within my means. My friends always are broke because they treat themselves out so much and I’m always just at home playing video games. Often times they’ll ask me for money, and or I’ll take them out to eat because why not
It's just stuff more to clean, more to keep for later. Save the money for later you might have an emergency 🦺
I grew up seeing my parents do this thinking it was normal
Using a zero balance budget app is the best way to see what you can spend on before you spend. I use Every Dollar.
"Cleets if they need to play basketball."
Caleb didn't play sports in school confirmed
Lol
I never would've guessed
Lol i was actually so confused and thought to myself: wait, what was a basketball court made of again?
You obviously never played on a basketball field before
Beautiful @@silverfresh
28:44 caleb's genuinely sweet side comes out wanting to calm her down about thinkin she's old . Good moment there
My read on her is that she's very sheltered, just recently started making a decent income, and genuinely has no idea how to handle her finances. Hopefully she'll come to understand the difference between spending on a credit card and actually having money. Actually having money means that you don't carry a balance from month to month, not just that you can make payments on time.
I definitely needed to read this comment! Im not like the person on the video, but I definitely see similarities! Not carrying a balance is having money, not just making payments. Thats powerful!
Yeah, to me her "lies" seem almost more like a knee-jerk reaction to something she hasn't really even thought about, or a subconscious rationalization of her spending. I imagine being confronted with information that is contrasting with her automatic viewpoint of "I have a good job. I make more money than I did before, therefore my situation isn't that bad. I need/deserve to buy these things." Sometimes Caleb is so rapid-fire with his accusations (which are generally correct/warranted), I think people like her can be caught off guard and feel as though Caleb is attacking their character, telling them they are a bad person. But in reality, he's just stating the facts which she, up to this point, has not really objectively considered.
Yup you can tell by how she talks, too. Seems like she's lowk trying to seem ultra sensitive to try to get babied. And why are you calling someone basically ur age sir? Seems like she's used to being a child and having some form of authority telling her what to do
I wish Caleb was a little nicer in his deliveries particularly with her. She feels attacked and is closing off within 10 minutes of this interview. The "no Sir" sounds like a recycled line used on a military father who controlled her entire life. She probably ran as far as she could as soon as she got out of there.
Yeah thought the same
She get a decent wage for the first time. She went mad buying clothing and makeup because she suddenly realised that she could. What she failed to understand is that she could have done the same spending over a longer period of time without taking out credit and paying interest.
I can relate to this. The last 7 years, I've finally had solid income and haven't really paid attention to what to do with it. I only have some student loans (deferred, abated, pre-pandemic interest rates) and a car loan (pre-pandemic interest rate), but still... I could have done so much more with it
Getting my shit together now but I lost the first (couldn't be helped) and second best decades of compound interest!
And she lives in a super expensive area. If she can work from home, she should see if she can move to a more affordable area close by and still work for the same company.
I can relate to her. I just move in to my new home and got a high-paying salary. The urge to buy home furnitures and put them in credit is pretty strong. I still have my old furnitures. Lols. I settle for buying one furniture per two weeks taken out from my salary instead.
missed a golden opportunity to tell this cartographer that you’re going to map her future.
I was at an all time low financiallya year and a half ago after i lost my job and wasnt able to find one that paid even CLOSE to the same. I ended up moving into an old RV on my dads property, and had to really start defining the difference between want and need. Ever since then it has astounded me how many people say they "need something" when it clearly is not a true need. I WANTED to use my AC but i didnt need it, so i suffered through the heat as much as i could. I WANTED to buy a new dress, but i already had 2 in my cloest and didnt NEED another one... Its pretty simple.
Were you able to sleep comfortably without AC at night?
@meistlazer7188 It sure was uncomfortable for me, but I was staying at a friend's place in Texas that her parents paid for and they wouldn't let her turn on the AC during the summer 😂 I would get a sandwhich bag and fill it 1/5 of the way with ice cubes, put the bag on my neck, and head back to sleep. Worked amazing not gonna lie.
I'm glad you took this difficult time and learned from it. Many people don't look for anything to learn from tough times and just complain. Good on you.
She has the generational 'poor person' mindset (open cc for emergencies, go into debt to improve credit score, etc) which is why she isn't fully grasping Caleb's words and thought process. And caleb is getting frustrated. I was the same as her. She s going to have to slowly undo the decades of bad childhood advice by binging finance material. Maybe a light bulb will go off when she's in the shower.
I fully agree. She is having a hard time understanding what Caleb is telling her.😢
She might need a few light bulbs to go off to start saving on the energy bill ;)
Yeah undoing the bad financial mindsets takes time. It took me a lot of time. Binging financial content everyday helps a lot. I feel like once it sinks in, it actually becomes easier to change your lifestyle. Having "less nice stuff" actually makes me feel proud. Duh, right? Being responsible is something to be proud of.
I wish Caleb would have taken a deep breath and given her some of the kindergarten starter financial lessons instead of just getting mad.
No. I grew up so poor. Watching it firsthand…
She perceives her clothing as a “need” because when she was a child it seems her needs in that area weren’t met. Once she realizes that I think she’ll be able to get ahold over this.
When she said that part about where she originally came from or what she had growing up, that would've been a great space to plug some therapy. Caleb is usually good about finding ways to slip that in, but I think he allowed her delusion to really get to him this episode. I think she genuinely needed to hear it though.
@@MochaLatteMilkChocolateAka, he let his anger cloud his thinking,lol. Either that or he just wanted a spicy episode.
Either way, THAT one is on him
@@jakeleisure8326it’s not on him to suggest a grown woman to get therapy… his speciality is finance advice not mental health. he has been kind enough to create space for mental health discussions in most episodes but it shouldn’t be an obligation.
I don't think anyone here is qualified / informed enough to say that. It could also be she perceives clothing as a "need" because she grew up spoilt and was given everything she wanted. When you're given everything you want, you begin to see things you want as an accepted necessity. Therefore wanting something immediately becomes an un-optional need.
Spoilt children often have this mentality "i need this, i need that" and have long laundry lists of luxury requirements.
Additionally, spoilt children are often EXTREMELY un-appreciative and deluded about their wants & needs. When you're given everything, you're unable to distinguish between the two. This is well documented psychology.
She clearly still needs therapy, but I think her issues may be coming from more of a place of entitlement, than under-privilege.
@@dannystalford5029 you can’t start your comment saying no one is qualified to suggest therapy AND also end it with suggesting she needs therapy lol are you licensed? More importantly, you decided to create this far fetched assumption of what her backstory may be, of which doesn't add up with her childhood claim. and I paraphrase," growing up I never got a want, so this is me giving myself those things". To me this sounds like a child deprived from attention, neglected for her needs and wants. So now as an adult, she has her perception of priorities skewed.
I see no tells of a spoiled child.
She needs to reduce her social media use, my statements looked similar when I had a shopping addiction and constantly compared myself to people online.
Fr bc all those justifications are just going to continue with house stuff and wedding stuff and kid stuff it’ll never end until she admits her wants are not needs
Yes, the imposter syndrome skinner box
Exactly what i thought!
She's definitely on the soft life/old money side of tik tok and IG...
I think it's the first time I hear Caleb speaks so fast haha! On another note, I would like to thank you for what you are doing ! We can see that you clearly want to help people and bring awareness and you do ! Keep up your amazing work !
Couple areas of miscommunication:
1. Wants vs needs. She’s saying her wants is a need and not able to discern and be real with the difference.
2. Emergency CREDIT CARD vs Emergency FUND. I genuinely don’t think she understands the difference.
3. Caleb saying “you’re losing your second best decade of your life” in relation to retirement contributions and compound growth yet she took it as a personal shot that she’s getting old… 💀
I think she is def less financial literate and may need additional explanations what these terms mean for an actual productive and educational conversation
That was a great opportunity to teach, though. "If you want to retire at 60, that gives you 4 decades of savings to get there. Because of compounding interest, the earlier you start, the better. The same $100 would become drastically different figures at 60 if you saved them at 20, vs 30, or 40, or 50. That's why we say your best decade is behind you." The best time to plant a tree was yesterday. The second best time is today.
She should have watched more episodes before getting on the show.
Shes 33 y’all come on at some point she needs to take accountability. She should absolutely know what these things are and they are her responsibility to learn and seek out information about.
Good observations.
@@hannahfreckles247 she’s literally here on the show to do that. Calm down and let her.
Really girl because I’ve had my $7 Milani blush for 2 years AT LEAST
Makeup generally expires after 1 year anyway, sometimes less.
Yeah that makeup justification was bs! I’m a milani girl as well! Essence mascara was better, for my lashes, than Lancôme! Do I use higher end powder? Yes. But drugstore makeup has come a long way from the early 2000’s.
I've had my free milk blush birthday sample for 3+ years lmao
This exactly.
@@jwilsss no it doesn't. Mascara once opened last abt 6 months, but other makeup last for years, especially powder makeup
Her perspective is very common and they are talking past each other. She doesn't understand needs versus wants. Her emotional attachment and overall positive feelings behind the clothes negate any want/need criteria.
I wish he’d slowed down and given her the very basics, because she doesn’t understand them. He jumped right to “the second best decade of compound growth” and “that money should have gone to retirement” when she needed to be at “if you spend more money than you make or are wracking up consumer debt (which he’d probably need to explain) then you ARENT affording your life” and “a credit score is a tool for specific things and doesn’t matter by itself.”
A lot of the things she said were like the headline to an article without the necessary background/context they hid in paragraph two. You could see it when he challenged her to speak to why one level deeper. It's almost like the question didn't make sense to her.
They didn't make sense to her because she couldn't, and didn't throughout the entire show, rationalize why anyone would question things associated with happiness and positivity. To her, she didn't see the spending as a negative thing - the fact that she spent outside her means made no difference and was trumped by how having the new clothes made her feel. Any negativity associated with that spending is so far down the value list it just can't process through her brain. It's goes beyond the clothes, its dopamine.
Very likely, any follow up with her will see her in the exact same position in 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, any amount of time because she gets no dopamine reward from positive spending habits, but does get dopamine from negative spending habits. It's a cycle that won't break until it literally breaks her financially and she can't dig out.
But even then, she will still find ways to spend.
@@WrathofFenrir99this is not a generational thing 😉 i know people twice her age, who are just as bad at these kinda things
@@adamseidel9780Agreed. Sometimes Caleb needs to just break it down to the simplest level because they just don't get it.
I actually find this girl very pleasant and funny. She has some great points about living. Like the wardrobe thing, decreasing the number of decisions in day to day life.
I vibe with you girl. Hope you are able to adjust your spending a little and still being able to treat yourself the things you love without going into more debt.
same! i also feel like he was unfairly short with her because when he asked she said she didnt have a spending problem, from the expenses it clearly looks like she isnt at a point yet where she can recognize she has a shopping addiction (been there) and then kept telling her she was lying to him :/
He wasn’t telling her that she was lying, just that he couldn’t believe her. Those are two different things. I think he recognized that she truly believed the things she was telling him, because they are the things she told herself a million times so she could feel better about her debt and still keep spending in spite of it. We believe the “truths” we tell ourselves.
Find any reason you want to agree with her, she's still ridiculous
“I wanted to gate keep this” MA’AM everyone knows Old Navy sells LONG 😒
She said target doesn’t sell long sizes, not Old Navy.
@@20GaugeSX4right, @NickiCelestine is saying it’s not a secret Old Navy sells long pants
@@20GaugeSX4what’s crazy, as a woman who is 5’11” and lives in Texas, is that Target DOES carry “weird sizes” 😂 I have plenty of pants that fit me from there
I’m 5’7” and live in Florida. Have never had to buy from any specific store.
@@Sherbish I think this is body specific because I am 5'8" and I struggle finding pants that go over my hips there whilst also being long enough.
This explains a bit about why my GPS takes me roundabout instead of in a direct line.
Lol right
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Yes. The GPS system works just fine, it is the GIS maps that aren't correct.
😂😂😂😂
Omg too good 😂😂
She works from home... she doesnt need that many items of clothes 🤦🏻♀️ and Im 5ft9 and long leg and I can buy in Target... she is focusing too much on her wants
If anything she only needs a couple good blouses and like two or three dress pants and one pair of shoes. Vast majority of zoom meetings (which is absolutely not daily for many people) are just midsection and up. Its very possible to get a pack of formal shirts, two on sale pairs of pants, and one 40$ pair of dress shoes at Target. She just doesn’t WANT to do that
Im 6’2…. Currently wearing target jeans.
i’m 5’10 and i don’t even buy “special pants”
i’m a 5’10” woman with long legs too.. and I don’t use that as a reason to spend a ridiculous amount of money on pants lol. literally all most people need is like 5 pairs of pants max … it shouldn’t be costing THOUSANDS from clearance sales??? and no one actually NEEDS sweats or yoga pants especially if she doesn’t even do yoga 😭 like just wear your pyjamas inside and jeans outside it’s not that complicated
Agreed I am 5'11" and was kind of like okay, yeah, tall sizes come online till she said she was 5'8" 🤔🤔
Factor box is not a good sponsorship for you since you tell people to make sandwiches and save money. Having them sign up for a fee based food option isnt authentic to your message
As a hairstylist and make up artist, saying that make up last longer that high end is not true. They are all the same amounts. The drugstore make up just has cheaper packaging and not as expensive formulations. That’s the only difference.
I was so confused by her blush comment. What did she mean a cheap blush won’t last years? They’re powders, they can last years (unless u break the powder). If anything they’re hard to hit pan with.
Not a makeup user, but don't they all come with 1-2 year expiration dates no matter the "quality" of the brand? I want to say that after opening, most makeup should be switched out within a couple years.
Not true. Worse quality pigments used in cheap brands, requires more applications to achieve the same effect, ergo, doesn’t last as long.
What are the effects of different formulations? Less pigmentation with different outcomes
Exactly! Not every product is a gem, but with research you can find fantastic products.
This reminds me of the episode of Sex and the City when Carrie doesn’t have money to buy her apartment from Aidan and is wondering where all her money went and one of her friends tells her she spent $40,000 on shoes and Carrie is shook.
“I spent 40,000 dollars on shoes and I don’t have a place to live??”
she thought 400 x 100 was $4,000
💀
And remember how she expected her friend to bail her out and they did 🤦♀️ Charlotte sold her ring and gave her the money for her apartment.
@@meganwharton7769" im literally the oldwoman who lives in her shoes"
It pissed me off that she just demanded charlotte lend her the cash though.
I will always hate Carrie Bradshaw for getting mad that Charolette didn’t want to help her out and when Charolette pointed out her bad spending, carried shamed her for that
$400/month church subscription is wild
Mormonism
@@yeshalloween Any form of christianity
believe they mentioned that was 10% of pre-tax income too. Indoctrination is gross, hope she can learn to put herself before an organization to get financially set up.
It’s generally called a tithe, and yes, it’s a part of most Christian branches I’m aware of. The way I understand it best is giving money to your church community in some way, whether to someone directly in need or to the church itself and they can distribute the funds as needed. I personally prefer to do 10% net income, but I’m sure other people give differently.
Giving this specific amount as a tithe is an older tradition than the New Testament in the Bible, but Christians are specifically commanded to give generously and cheerfully (and yes, both are important). It might be wise for her to consult her church leaders or Christian friends about how to handle it since she is so deep in debt. But as someone who is also crawling out of debt, I commend her for still trying to give generously. She definitely does need to get a better handle on her finances, but giving to her church might not be something she needs to cut down on or cut out if she can handle other things better.
@@ArianaAlexis God Bless You
I work online. When I first started, the way the bedrooms were laid out, my kids were pretty much in the same space. I just trained them to be quiet while I was working. My partner was also working online... I literally put up a mattress to create some soundproofing. It was a while before I got my own space to work... after I had saved enough to be able to create it. These people don't understand waiting.
This woman is lacking in comprehension... he tells her exactly why he doesn't trust what she says and she's all, "you're calling me a liar!" No. That's not what he said. Sigh. People are infuriating.
Being naïve is dangerous not cute.
Especially at 33
willfully ignorant *
CBTherqpy sounds like a pyramid scheme. You got a good scam going!
I agree, as someone that’s gullible and naive at times. But mine so much more dangerous and I need to learn to not give people the benefit of the doubt
Lacking in empathy isn’t cute either. She recognizes that she needs help and is seeking it. All we are doing is judging.
Glad the comments pass the vibe check, good for Caleb for harnessing a audience that can be critical of him while still enjoying the content.
Agreed. It isn’t always this way, but very proud of the community today.
@@jaes1346 Same.
Yeah, it seemed like all the toxic Dave Ramsey fans flocked to Caleb's channel to shot on people who are financially illiterate. Don't get me wrong, some of these guests have deserved it, but majority do need an outsider looking in their finances to try to help them get a reality check. Actually stopped watching Caleb for a bit because all the comments were "wHat An IdIoT! I wOuLd NEVER bE tHaT dUmB!". Like cool, ok, but statistically speaking, most people make these same mistakes. Why bother watching if only to get a weird superiority high?
And what were you gonna do if it didn't pass your dumb vibe check? Cry?
@@TheGoldenCapstone kms
She lacks understanding of financial literacy. Like she has noooo clue what Caleb is talking about. So I think he missed opportunities to teach her. She came in floor level and he started at the table.
Had the exact same feeling
I think so too. She doesn't understand. I hope this doesn't demotivate her...
I wonder if there's an opportunity to reframe the conversation at the start: "hey, all these statements, all this spending, all these decisions... that was past you. You came on this show because you want to learn and change. I'm not attacking you. Together, WE are digging into past you to understand what got you there, and together we'll get present and future you on a new path." I feel like that small change can help with the defensive guests that feel attacked.
@@joynerrperez I agree. I love the show, but I think he doesn't always understand just HOW naive some people are when it comes to finances. He talks about "interest accruing" and I honestly think many of these people don't even know what an interest rate means and why making minimum payments doesn't actually pay it off! He needs to better explain how credit works. He needs to go back to the very, very basics with some of these guests.
@wombatnumbat989 Their parents were soft and nice and you see where that got them. Caleb doesn't need to be soft and nice. Some people need a swift kick in the rear to get it together.
I am going to watch this every time my inner self wants to shop frivolously. Thank you for the content
Gatekeep??? Old Navy?? What??!
Just got to this point in the video and laughed my ass off.
And she acts like tons of stores don’t have Long options on pants???
Andddd she acts like she’s 6’6 or something. When she said 5’8 I was like 🙄
@@JS-kc2xs I can confirm 5’8 can be difficult to find correct inseam for off the rack. Keep in mind the average woman’s height in America is under 5’4. So the average pant will be 4 inches too short. Then add the height of your heel on top. Old navy is the most affordable place to find long inseams.
@@JS-kc2xs Finding jeans for my short ass is a challange, I have to cut and sew all of them. I swear jeans are only made for the average american female and everything outside of that is an after-thought
5 things I learned so far:
1. Opening up a credit card for stores (Victoria Secret's, Macy's, etc.) is a no-no.
2. Cook at home. Make your own coffee. Treating yourself to $7-$10 coffee every day adds up.
3. Is it a want or a need? Do you really need it?
4. Budget Budget Budget Budget. Build that retirement & emergency fund.
5. Take accountability when you do make an unnecessary purchase.
The easiest thing mentally is to always do the "right" thing.
Imagine what a badass would do in a situation and try to do that as much as possible.
Would a badass take out a bunch of debt for clothes? Nope a badass would be so badass that they would get clothes for free for being so hot, or they would find a way to get clothes for cheap and make them look good.
I used to have a mindset of "sacrifice today for tomorrow", but I realized that wasn't enough. A true badass doesn't have to sacrifice today for tomorrow, a true badass makes EVERY day a great day.
They figure out how to get what they want now and in the future.
A true badass doesn't need to cope, doesn't need to have days off, doesn't need compensate. A true badass makes things work.
We all know this deep down. A true badass works hard, is in shape, communicates well with people, is the COMPLETE package.
Also, any budget is useless if you don't audit to find out if you're on track
ill buy myself a coffee maybe every two weeks if my food budget allows 😭
So many of these come down to people not understanding the difference between a “want” and a “need”
They do understand. They lack accountability. In the back of their head, they totally know and have justified their poor habits and refuse to be held accountable. Idk. Maybe that is some kind of primitive form of self preservation.
She says she needs long sizes at 5'8" 😭 I'm 5'9 and a woman myself and everything in Target fits beautifully. Thrifting also exists.
Jesus lawd these videos make me feel like a saint.
I think it depends on proportions. I’m 5’8 and also struggle with not finding jeans that fit if they’re not long sizes. My country doesn’t have target so not sure about that, but old navy is definitely a great option.
She mentioned that her legs are long. She could be 5’ of legs and 8” of torso and head lol. Y’all would not be wearing the same clothes
Depends on your size. If you get wider the clothes also get taller. I now struggle with clothes being too long for me because I went up two sizes
I’m 5’5” and struggle to find jeans since I have unusually long calves. Most fall way above my ankle. All about proportions.
Almost as if height and leg length have no direct correlation.
My dad is 4 inches shorter than I am and we have the same aame inseam.
After the dying plants comments in the last video I can't unsee the poor plants now.
Plant audit needed
He wants alive plants, but he needs plastic plants. No signs of death
So you had to do it to me now I can stop noticing them every time the angles change
The Bible also says the borrower is a slave to the lender. So much common sense slips by many of us. Don’t put your future in a creditors hands.
The bible also endorses rape, incest and child killing. True dat.
So real. It also talks about being a good steward of what God provides and that really seems to escape people
The bible sounds interesting lol
One thing I love about this series, apart from valuable lessons on financial literacy, is getting to hear about so many different jobs and industries. Doing so offers insight on salary expectations as well!
I've never heard from a cartographer before. Just need a flat earther to complete the set 😂!
I love that ❤
@@CalebHammerthanks for starting this!
This one made me feel really uncomfortable as Caleb's behaviour really came across as bullying, condescending and deliberately trying to humiliate her. You could genuinely see from her body language that she couldn't understand why she was accused of lying and he couldn't coherently explain his rationale, just got more and more shouty. Completely understand that people need tough love and a strong message, but he crossed the line and it came across as abusive.
To me, she came across as combative and obtuse regarding her mistakes financially, and he was clearly getting angry, assuming she was making excuses and shifting blame. He didn't handle it well and did speak with condescension, but she was also contradicting her own story over and over again. I don't think his reaction was bullying, she needed someone to call her out
Idk, that is kind of the formula he works with. Is it a bit much? It can be. Do some people need a smack, yes. In fact, most/all people need one at some point. Does his method work for everyone? Probably not. If this kind of aggressive confrontation doesn't work for you, I would say, don't be a guest on his show.
She wanted the exposure, she didn't do her due diligence, to see what she was actually getting herself into.
It is obvious that several people come on the show for exposure.
@@helianabanes4875 Honestly Heliana I can't argue against anything you have written; she went on for exposure, knew what she was getting into, and clearly needed to be challenged. But it was the fact he called her a liar. It's such a powerful word, that resonate so deeply, questioning a persons integrity, and identity. From her reaction I think it caused her real mental harm. So many of the interventions deal with complex mental health issues, I just thought this one may have caused the participant distress. But I may just be projecting my own sensitivities onto her situation.
@@JonathanMLParker you don't have to argue anything. If you felt like that was across the line, then, for you, it is. :). You probably are projecting, right? So am I. Perception is super crazy like that, and every single second of our past seems to contribute to the way we view things. This is probably why we can actually say there are no two people in the world, who are exactly the same. I like to hear the opinions of others, and share mine. Especially, when it is civil, like this exchange. Thanks for that! :)
@@helianabanes4875 The very least you deserve Heliana is a civilised response, you are very articulate and I sincerely appreciate your thought-provoking comments. Of course you are right, I am projecting, I believe we are all doing it, all the time on a deep subconscious level. I am sensitive and got the feeling she was too from her body language, but then maybe I have been watching to much of 'The Behaviour Panel'. Perception as you say is 'super crazy'. Just from your words and your photo, I already have an identity in my head created through my perception of the person you are. I think many times our past experiences in life almost fill in the gaps in information we perceive using all of our senses.
I think she never meant to lie here. She thought you wanted to know her own personal reasoning for why she thought she needed it. So I can understand why she would feel triggered being told she was just lying to you.
My thoughts too. But I also understand that Caleb would find her defensive. She sounded more reasonable during the budget part and asked good questions.
Her personal reasoning = she is lying to herself.
She was definitely lying, she said she was buying clothes from there because she couldnt find her sizes elsewhere.
Yet she bought thousands of dollars worth of clothes.
You dont need that many.
Small world, i met Karis when she lived in south florida. I would have never thought i would see anyone i knew on this. If you read this, Good luck Karis!
"Met"
I also used the excuse “well I never had it so I’ll buy it now”
And it keeps you broke , get over what happened to you and think about where you’re going .
perfectly said. if you take a break now after “never being able to catch one”, then you really will never get a break
Everyone’s different cause I never had nothing growing up and shopped at thrift stores for cloths and now I’m a major penny pincher and put everything in the bank and have had the same 3 pairs of Walmart jeans for a few years now.
I fall into this trap, that’s why I watch Caleb to help me get over
"What you don't have you don't need it now" - Bono
Mhm, sadly it’s still a struggle for me. I’ve had a few people sit me down about it and I’m really trying.
At least now if there’s something I really want I make sure I advertise art commissions and a
Make sure I have the funds before I splurge on anything that’s a want. Even if it’s in game micro transactions. I have to earn it before I spend it. It feels a lot better to do it this way than before😅
I love the branching out that's happening. The whole team is getting in on making the current show better and adding in some new things to keep it interesting. ❤❤
She’s so aware of the difference between love and like but not wants and needs. Wild!
She just really wants to love her clothes and not just like them 😂
“Faith without works is Bullshit or something!”-Caleb, Financial Audit Bible quotes 😂👌🏾
I legitimately laughed out loud
I mean he's close 😂
😂
New merch coming soon lol 😂
He's right though! 😂
“You know when you look in your closet and can’t find anything to wear for work?”
“You work from home”
This killed me 😂
Bless your heart Caleb for dealing with people like this. Their excuses are unbelievable. Oh lawd!
When she said "What are my needs" I nearly spit out my lunch I packed for work. OMG a credit card isn't for emergencies, your emergency fund is for emergencies. Going into debt when you're in a vulnerable position is how the death spiral starts.
I just started watching the episode and saw your comment and my jaw dropped! I'm 30 and make a similar income..I track my expenses and know roughly how much I need every month. It seems ignorant to not know that answer especially when you live on your own. I hope she is able to learn from Caleb to grow in the future 🤗
@@bhnurse16 she's 33 and her parents are still paying for things. She's suffering from lifestyle creep, went from nothing to $50k a year and adjusted her living standard to it. She won't listen to Caleb, she lives in a defensive mindset. It's a painful episode to watch.
I think I am actually addicted to watching this show. I’ve been averaging 4-5 episodes a day for the last week. I thought I was on the right track to getting my finances together until I started watching. I heard a lot of my own excuses from guests on this show and I realized how ignorant I was being towards my situation when it was coming out of someone else’s mouth. My financial ignorance is what got me into this mess, not anything or anyone else. This show has helped me take responsibility for my actions and has helped me make a plan. I’m currently saving so I can buy the hammer budgeting tool, can’t wait! Thanks for this content Caleb, you woke me up from my own ignorance.
Welcome to the Cult!
I was thinking I'm doing well (I do not have debt), but only Caleb yelling "you should invest 20% of income (after you fix your debt situation)" told me how much better I can be.
Eventually we catch up and find ourselves scavenging the Monthly Money series that once was lmaoo.
Same lmao, everytime he's scolding the guests I feel scolded too and like I should really work on it haha
@@ladrok97I thought the exact same (also don’t have any debt). I was contributing 12% to my 401k and after hearing him say it so many times I upped it to 16% for 2024 and just dumped tons into my roth IRA maxing it out for 2023 and budgeted how much I need per month to put in for 2024. Thanks Caleb.
Hey say what you will. But it was great to hear see her get excited when she realized they were about to start budgeting.
Yeah that was kinda wholesome, I think guest really like to get out of the auditing part for some reason, ha.
Oh hey I’m a GIS Technician! Very cool to see someone in my same field. This sounds like me too. Your videos are helping me out a lot Caleb. Thank you.
“Faith without works is bullshit or something”- Caleb Hammer Version (CHV) 😂
That was spot on!
Thank you for writing it down, I thought "I need that quote on hand" as I was listening to this on a walk 😅
😂
Pretty sure that was the modern Bible version of James 2: 17 hahahaha! I would love to hear more of his bible verses.
Jesus really did say that, I was there
lol
I love financial audit, that being said Caleb does sometimes come off as condescending when a guest is genuinely confused by financial jargon. He talks quickly and if you aren’t finically literate, like most guests aren’t on this show I can see how it can be easy to get lost or confused.
I wished he’d explain to them rather than going into mad “I’m not angry I’m disappointed”- dad mode.
I genuinely don’t think a lot of these people know what the terms are and what it means to them. I see him getting them to repeat back to him what he said in their own words. I think some of them need more of this.
I’ve seen doctor Mike videos where patients parrot back but they don’t actually understand, they know to parrot but they don’t understand the context.
Totally, when he was asking about taking advantage of credit, he could give an example of what he means by that. He was just repeating the same phrase. She understood, it just took a minute.
@@ivakinnaird7516I think that was the point though, to show her that she doesn't know why she's doing it.
But they have seen the Show. They should know the words. And you can always say 'can you please say that slower'
It is what keeps him entertaining.
Ugh i dont understand coming on a financial audit show, then getting pissy about being called out on unnecessary purchases. Like either you want the advice and help or you just want to be argumentative and stay in debt for the rest of your life.. Caleb you are a saint trying to help people who arnt ready to change.
I think it’s more of an addition thing. People might go to rehab and I’m sure they fight and argue and say they were not addicted at times. It doesn’t mean they don’t want the help.
A lot of people have justified a lot of their actions already in their head so they don't really see an issue with it. They might see someone on the show who eats out every single day and spends all their money and they can realize that what they're doing is wrong but as soon as they get called out on the same thing they feel like they were justified and no one understands their individual circumstances. Also a lot of people just don't have personal responsibility lol
There's actually a comment about six down from yours that is a person saying almost exactly what I just said about themselves
Bro it comes down to how you engage with the other person this dude operates on guilt and fear and shame to try to change people which automatically causes people to become defensive. Not to mention the literal screaming at them and performative flailing why are you surprised that people fight back. I mean I get why he does it it’s for views and clout but who tf would want to deal with that
Okay she's a 32 year old woman, she should be mature enough at this stage of life to realize she made poor decisions spending funds she didn't have on wants. It's okay to make poor decisions they're in the past. But continuing to justify and being defensive and argumentative isn't going to help her grow and change her future. She also signed up to be on the show. So you'd think someone signing up would be open to criticism and advice..
OMG that end portion of the video was SO GREAT. Much needed ended to a tough to watch video. She totally lit up when he complimented her and was kind to her and very obviously wanting to help her, she seemed so relieved.
Idk if that guy is single or not but he needs to maybe ask her out if so lol.
In that moment where tensions were getting high and she seemed to be on the verge of tears, I'm really glad Caleb caught onto that and diffused it. She was not ready for all the yelling and his way of going about things at all lol, I don't think she knew how this show works.
I do hope she takes away a positive message from this and realizes no one here wants to antagonize her, or we don't want her to ever have good things. It's all about balance.
Typical female response.
Probably the first time someone has told her the truth, since her father.
this is a really kind and sweet comment, thank u for posting it
GIS is a deceptively useful field. It underpins a lot of the fields we take for granted logistics, transport, weather, civil engineering, wildlife management....
It's actually a really good niche for engineers. Doesn't get a ton of focus like the other hot button tech topics, but is still used everywhere
All environmental students at my school need to take GIS classes. It also looks good on resumes
Very challenging program for sure. All I heard when I was in college was GIS courses being a nightmare.
I love maps.
Yes, and quite a specialized area of tech. I myself know a couple people with GIS backgrounds who became very successful.
I’m learning that my spending is a camouflage for me not having self care. It’s easier to buy things than working out, however you look and feel so much better with self care versus buying new things.
my wife loves working out.... and shopping unfortunately 😂
Just don't fall into the athleisure pit
oooooh wait... THATS what I'm feeling! thank you for this comment, you hit the nail on the head!
I do the same! Ugh, right now I’m doing my last batch of finals before graduating uni and I’m so stressed I keep wanting to buy clothes lol staying strong tho
I feel like Caleb really fumbled the ball on this one. Unlike alot of guests, she clearly knows and admits that she made a mistake, and wants to work through her debt, but isn't fully certain on how or where to begin. I think it's wrong to come off so aggressively towards her. Like yea, she went on a shopping spree, and racked up too much debt. Absolutely criticize her for that, but once she's literally said "That choice was really dumb." then move on towards how to fix it, not asking for justification over and over.
Totally agree. I felt so bad for her asking for help and just getting yelled at.
A work wardrobe TO WORK FROM HOME 😭
that is really wild
“But why’s Caleb so mean” - comments
in a 2 br she can't afford. Wild ride.
Playing a bit of devil's advocate, if I worked from home, I would need to "dress up for work" because psychologically, I can't be productive on sweatpants and hoodie. There's something about putting on a "uniform" that helps me get in the mindset to do work and then being able to take it off at the end of the day, again, sends a mental signal that "work is officially done".
Same with the workplace. However if she got a 1bd and bought a portable divider stand, she could make a "home office" in the corner of a living room/studio area and still make it feel like a "separate" space.
I’ve been working with my nine-year-old child on understanding the difference between wants and needs. Watching this show makes me realize there are many, MANY fully-grown adults who are completely unable to distinguish between the two. Wild to witness
Regarding the tithing issue ... I didn't tithe when I was getting out of debt. I found other ways to give and they were through time and service. That was greatly appreciated and affirmed by the church I was attending at the time. When I was out from under the debt, I started tithing again. Simple.
I agree and have been on both sides. I would just caution for people to check their heart if they find themselves getting into debt so they don’t feel like they have to tithe
Same
Tithing is always possible.
This is a great approach, and how my wife and I handled out finances when working towards killing our debt as well.
@@johnparker4484so is not being brainwashed
Hi Caleb! Im new to your channel. Its really great insight and I listen to these whenever Im tempted to buy something dumb. You are a very entertaining personality and I understand that the moments where you get excited/ emphatic is a big way you hold viewer interest. I would just recommend thinking of it like a switch- switch goes on for entertainment, switch goes off when you genuinely need to explain something. These people obviously will not understand what you are saying, thats how they got in this mess. Ive seen a couple interviews that are ended with a sense of “oh well, you arent really going to fix this, you arent capable”. I understand that sentiment is a reflection of a conversation, but you are part of that conversation. If you really want to help people, you should consider a different type of communication.
Also being newer to his channel, I've been thinking about this a lot. Big, intense reactions may make good content for likes and clicks, but it feels like these reactions are heavily taking away from actual learning moments. Same thing with even the thumbnails. I don't think it would subtract from people watching his videos if the thumbnails weren't so exaggerated. A great example is often the back/forth asking what purchases were, the guest explains, and he gets more reactive. Often it doesn't seem like they are defending it. They are just explaining their reason for the purchase and thought process at the time. Instead of taking it as defending themselves it would be more beneficial to check to make sure they understand why it was a poor choice and what thought process they should use in the future to make better choices.
Happy Monday Hammerheads
Happy Monday!
“What are my needs?”
Good. Lord. Have. Mercy. 😮
The bleach in her hair steeped into her brain 😂
During the time that she cannot afford tithing ten percent, she can volunteer in her church community where they need the most help. She and they will still benefit.
True
A church requesting a specific amount of money is wild. At that point youre just paying a membership fee. I didnt know God needed money to survive.
The Mormon church is a wild ass cult.
It's a total scam, especially since many of the churches that expect tithing don't even give that money to the needy. So many of these people are giving money so that pastors can buy giant homes and private jets.
I’m a 6’ tall woman and American eagle has amazing clothes for tall women. Highly recommend
Fashion Nova tall jeans are amazing as well!
How about zalando lounge? You can look up L32 and I got Levi, Lee and Wrangler jeans for around $40... And yes that is in my eyes a luxury
AE jeans are goated!
5'8" is tall for a woman but not unusually tall.
I really wish that caleb would learn to check in with 'are you explaining why you did it at the time- or are you saying it was justified.' Because like... of course people have reasons they thought something was a good idea? And they can't have changed their behavior based on what he's taught them... until they've learned something. So of course they say very similar things over and over again- because the statements are a reflection of past behavior. Not whether or not they're currently listening.
That's a good way of putting it. Couldn't have said it better.
"you're yelling at me" girl have you SEEN the show before?? lmao
holy crap that is a good point " who are you boosting your credit for? how are you taking advantage of it " I have not thought of it like that
When I started watching Caleb I was like 4k in credit card debt between like 3 cards and in the last 5 months I've literally gotten every card and my medical bills down to ZEROOOOOO . I have one very low interest loan out because I financed a quad like 2.5 years ago and it's almost paid off so I'm just finishing it monthly lol im so proud of myself 😂😂❤
That's amazing, way to go!
@kamoroso94 thank you 🥹
Hell yeah! Keep winning!
Yaaaaay congrats Queen!
Great job!
Delusional. When she essentially said “Higher end make up is better than Walmart make up”
She is wrong, high end luxury items in my own experience are just crap, with a fancy label. Both make up & fashion goods.
No one can tell what is on your face be it 5$ blush or 100$ blush.
Ridiculous!!! Some of the best make products I’ve ever used are from drugstores.
I stopped believing high end makeup is better when I learned that the same companies make both high end and drugstore makeup. The only difference I see is in packaging. Also? Drug store makeup lasts just as long as high end, it just depends on how many grams/oz of product there is
Even so, for her, it's not going to help a whole lot. 32 and a complete whiny child.
Elf and NYX are wonderful brands.
I have tried both. Luxury brands tend to apply and wear better. That is irrelevant, though. She can’t afford it. Flying private is so much better than commercial, but guess what? I CAN’T AFFORD IT!! Therefore, I fly commercial. I am not ENTITLED to the “better” option just because it is “better”. I have to be able to pay for it.
I cringed when she said that. I own both luxury and drugstore make up and they both last depending on usage.
high end makeup absolutely doesn’t last longer than walmart makeup lmao like you are gonna run through a powder just as fast if it’s $5 or $60 dollars and if it’s not as pigmented then MAYBE you’ll use it a little quicker
I was also thinking when she said that it expires rather quickly regardless of price. Unfortunately I end up having to toss stuff because I don't wear it often and can't go through it in a year.
Makeup isn't meant to last a decade, if it's expired it can start growing bacteria, the ingredients break down, the consistency gets weird, etc.
I can definitely see the argument that it lasts longer but no way it lasts longer than the 3x to 5x price increase. Maybe an 10% lifespan.
this is the first time i felt caleb was laying into the guest way too much and almost unnecessarily. horrible spending habits? yes. but i dont think she needed such a beatdown. she held herself together wonderfully. she should be proud. i wish the best for her and hope she gets out of debt. another great audit, caleb. thank you!
Bro she was trying to justify loving her entire closet and spending thousands of dollars in 1 month on clothes and designer makeup.
Take my word, your office plants are dying 🤣
The type of palm you have does not do well indoors. Look up kentia palm, birds of paradise and golden pothos those would be great background plants that would do better in low light. But keep up on the watering! that fig tree is almost impossible to kill yet your succeeding lol
i stick to snake plants for that...cactus species works well with folks who forget watering, care, etc
As a plant mom I agree lol look at those brown leaves 😢
ahh yes a snake plant would be another good one. @@rocketlioness
I feel like everyone I know has killed their fig. Lol
My vote is a ZZ plant. Mine thrives in my windowless bathroom lol
Everyone says figs are hard to kill so I must be a pro assassin 😅
I do like the fact Caleb has highlighted how exploitive credit one is. I remember that credit card being pushed towards students when I was in community college. Credit cards, in general, really do prey on lower income people who don’t have disposable income or don’t have an emergency fund.
Idk why people who want to build credit dont do secured cards. I did that years ago and it is what turned my credit around.
drowning in debt and giving 10% to a billion dollar church is wild
literally scrolled so far to find a comment like this. agree 10000%
@@pasitheathanatosasmr488 what kind of church does she go to? i couldnt understand
it's the oldest scam
Imagine if that ~$5k was being put into a Roth IRA
Welcome to waco texas lol
As soon as she said ADHD it all makes SO much sense... Recklessness with money is such a huge thing with ADHD folks
i also understand her becoming defensive, i have really bad auditory processing issues and found i couldnt keep up with what was being said this episode, even on concepts i understand
I have ADHD and a shopping addiction. I have it under control now but the money I have wasted I hate to think about. I at least had the discipline to pay off my student loan, buy cars in cash and never to carry a balance on a card. I've never paid interest on anything other than a mortgage and council taxes. But it'll still ruin your life if you can't get it under control, even without debt in the mix.
I’m ADHD and it’s so hard to avoid impulse buys
The ADHD also explains the difference in Caleb saying shes just lying and coming up with excuses ans her just explaining her reasoning as it happened in her brain
A woman with 3 years of dating experience here - similar to addressing financial budgeting “head on”, I found it was much easier and more enjoyable to schedule a Thursday or Friday evening “cold calling”. Since texting can create a false sense of intimacy, I would pick 2 or 3 people who messaged me that I liked and give them a google phone number (safety, don’t be giving out your #) to call at X time that evening. After doing this once a week I became good at knowing if this person could have a good conversation in about 10 minutes. If I liked them, I’d ask them on a date that weekend, if not I’d thank them for their time and move on.
30 minutes once a week, ya’ll got this. 🎉
This is really good advice.
@@NoahChryslerno the hell it isn’t. Tf I look like jumping through all those hoops for a chick immediately, I bet she gives a bunch of ultimatums over the smallest things
This sounds wonderful actually. I hate texting w ppl bc I'll put my phone down between texts and the convo just never flows bc I get distracted then pick it up again or fee anxious to open what they said. And even tho I'm generally introverted, I do better at scheduled phone calls since it's focused time rather than spread out. I might have to try this!!
I worked from home (before it was a thing like it is now) for 15 years of my 30 year career. I purchased all my suits that I had to use to go into the office with the first 15 years of my career from the thrift shop in a very wealthy neighborhood. I had every designer name suit possible and they were all no more than 15 bucks a piece. Once I retired , I donated them to an organization who gives suits and clothes to women who are fresh out of college and have tremendous student loan debt.
I don't think I've ever heard James' "faith without works is dead" applied to a situation like this... it made this religious person chuckle.
it works here too😂
would you like to chuckle at the suffering of innocent children, while your god claims to be all powerful, all knowing, all forgiving and ever-present? You know, those innocent children who (for example) suffer from bone cancer? After all, YOUR god endorsed rape, incest, genocide, slavery and infanticide. VERY humorous, I'm sure. Moral hypocrite!!!
I also had a bit of a surprised chuckle at that. There’s so many commonly quoted verses that are more specific to finance/gifts/stewardship that I wasn’t expecting this one!
I was looking for this comment LOL Context of that quote is completely unrelated to the point he was trying to make and she still nodded her head in agreement.