Man Child Is Professional Victim | Financial Audit
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- Опубліковано 5 вер 2024
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Chapters:
01:00 Dude was homeless
07:30 He's deflecting
08:10 Fabric
11:00 Don't take out payday loans!
17:50 what is this insanity?!
21:28 Bro you have the $$$!
26:13 READ THIS!
29:49 He doesn't even care
35:50 Finance daddy back in action
41:06 You've never been an adult!
45:25 His checking is actually a disease
53:00 I'm losing my mind
56:48 SOFI
57:07 You are valuable
1:02:05 I can't have you give up
1:06:00 Hammer Financial Score
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These are some fun words: Caleb Hammer, financial audit, Graham Stephan, Dave Ramsey, Ramsey Show, George Kammel, Rich Dad Poor Dad, Podcast, Budgeting, Investing, Stock Trading, IRA, Roth IRA, 401k, health savings, HSA, 403b, college costs, student loans, debt, snowball, avalanche, pension, retirement, financial independence retire early.
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Only 8 more days to get dirty with your money 😏 shop.calebhammer.com/dirty after that, it's gone forever
I know where my “WANTS” is going too this week….
Early congrats on 1 million subscribes Caleb!
Almost to a milly😊
@caleb Hammer as much I would love to purchase your shirts. As a person who watches your shows and learns to be more financially competent I'll save up for your financial class. I have to say you and your team really helped me in ways you can't possibly imagine
Is it bad i just put this in my budget to make sure it fits 😂
Me: "My life is in complete shambles."
*watches Caleb Hammer video*
Me: "I'm absolutely slaying at life."
Yes! The Hoarders effect!
Same! 😂
😂
Same.😂
I feel this same thing when watching Caleb, Hoarders, and 600lb life. 😂🤦
My favorite quote applies here: Mental health issues isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility
Same with financial literacy. You may not grow up in a financial literate household, but it is your responsibility to teach yourself and do better.
@@sarahpelleyexactly! People be like my parents didn’t teach me- well bet your parents didn’t teach you to eat @ss yet people out here doing it just fine
@@Estassi55 hah and this is my favorite quote 😂
@@Estassi55 😂😂😂😂
We say “mental health is a reason not an excuse”. Say it daily…
Claiming you can’t afford life while also getting Uber eats is my ‘trigger’
Right? I have never in my life had enough money to justify Uber eats. I say that as someone without a car, and having lived in several places where there's nothing within walking distance. I do not Uber eats.
The worst part? You most likely not even getting all the food you ordered. Them delivery drivers be snackin on your grub. So you’re over paying for less food!
Hmmmhmmmm
And soooo many people do it 😭😭 it’s always the “brokest” ppl using food delivery services
The thing that triggered me as a 29yr old man was the alignment. I know those mechanics basically just robbed him lol. Most of the time on those "alignments" they don't do anything lol. I am confident they just saw a sucker they could rob and they robbed him.
He as a dude probably should have known that. Why a 36 year old able bodied man can't do some simple work on his own rig is beyond me and it's concerning. I've never been to a mechanic in my life, they are robbers and scammers, they mostly target women and weak men who know nothing about cars.
bro financed a PS5 for $1,500, I have no words
Bro what? You can get a physical edition one for 500 dollars in Canada, how tf did he pay that much in the US?
@@M0nkeyManzzhe financed it so he basically took a loan to pay for it and had to pay back way more than it’s worth
he financed it at scalpers prices with an interest rate that a crook wouldn't charge. I paid an extra 175 to get mine while they were sold out, but I could afford to buy it outright for cash. Predatory loans like that should be illegal. For instance, if the payday loan company expects the loans to be short term, then they should only be allowed to charge 114% for a term of two weeks. After the two weeks the loan will drop to a rate no higher than 29.99% the max that the credit companies can charge. @@wiggles8289
I havnt got to this part of the video. But holy sonofabichh
At one point at least where I am in the us it was close to impossible to get ps5 at base price something about Sony making limited units
So someone people who didn't have a hook up ended up paying 900-1000 for base version
They are now available but ive been ruined by that
I'd like to petition Caleb to start a 'Financial Literacy' series that could focus on borrowing money, how interest rates are calculated, how some industries are predatory, etc. You could talk about Credit Cards, Auto Loans, Payday Loans and more. I think a lot of people lack a basic understanding of how these things math out and how a $20,000 car could end up costing $50,000 in the long run.
Caleb actually has a second channel where he’s starting to cover those things! I’m actually enjoying that channel more than the audits lately
@@TheEnvySinn Dang okay thanks for the heads-up, I had no idea
@@Sizukun1 I don’t believe he advertises his second channel on the main. It’s not even linked. I found it via the subreddit! I’m not sure why they decided to go that route, but like I said I’ve really enjoyed that content over the crazy audits the past few months.
@@joshhammz he doesn’t really talk about it on the main channel but it is called money makes cents if you want to see if that’s the kind of content you’ve been wanting like me haha
He actually just started a channel called Money Makes Cents where he explains finance stuff
Homie was homeless, but has statements from feetfinder. Man's got very unique priorities
Idk why this made me laugh me so hard 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Dying🤣🤣🤣🤣
I can almost respect that level of dedication to feet
I just saw this on the statement and it says its a CREDIT, HE"S SELLING FEET PICTURES LOL
Yooo
Suggestion: Once you encounter a subscription like Hulu, Netflix, Uber One, etc, stop and have the guest cancel the subscription in real time.
For most people, yup I agree. If they have some extra funmoney then it can stay
Esp. for guests with ADHD. You tend you forget stuff like that
@@kirstenlund8976 sadly in this day and age "funmoney" really doesnt exist
I got lucky but also impulse chose, my phone plan includes Disney Hulu and ESPN+ my kids use Disney I use Hulu and ESPN but damn I could've chose a more responsible plan
with how easy it is to pirate any movie or show netflix subscriptions and the like are pointless for anyone tbh
My therapist had always told me with my anxiety diagnosis that "thoughts are not facts". This man needs this mantra too.
CBT (which is what your therapist was using) does not work for BPD. not all mental illnesses respond to the same treatment. CBT actually really destabilized me and made my mental health much worse. Some therapies are more suited to some people over others, and CBT is definitely one of those - it is not helpful for complex trauma.
When you have a complex trauma history and/or very real prior experiences that feed into your present thinking, denying your thoughts/concerns literally feels like gaslighting. It feels like you’re denying your reality - you’re past trauma never stops feeling like an active threat. It’s like telling a parent that they shouldn’t be scared about their daughter climbing into an unfamiliar man’s van after school because there’s no “evidence” to back up the “irrational” thought that he might be trying to abduct her.
With trauma as a cause we have real evidence to back up our fears, we are triggered by patterns of behavior that remind us of people who seriously harmed us in the past. Obviously if someone in this guys life starts reminding him of his abusive parents, even if he’s misreading the situation, everything in his body will STILL be like “fuck no, I’m not going through this shit again” which is why he cuts people off. Even if he knows it’s an overreaction, the feeling that something is wrong is just too visceral. It’s self preservation, it may be out of proportion but it’s not an emotional reaction you can always control. There’s too strong of a split between the emotional brain and rational brain in someone with a trauma related mental illness - these parts of the brain are not always able to communicate or agree with each other. Trying to force them to in a typical CBT way can lead to dissociative breaks or even psychosis in vulnerable people.
We KNOW the thoughts are irrational most of the time - he literally admits that. But the feelings/emotions that are elicited by certain triggers are so immense that you lose touch with the rational part of your brain completely. These extreme feelings are not something you can think your way out of - they are a trauma response, it doesn’t matter how irrational you know the fear/thought is, it STILL sends your body and brain into a spiral, and once you’ve entered that state it is incredibly difficult to see anything rationally, because even your most irrational thoughts start to feel absolutely true. It’s only after you’ve calmed down from that state that you can access the other part of your brain and that’s when you realize how irrational you’re thinking actually was.
It’s difficult to explain if your brain doesn’t work that way, but for some people who aren’t suited to CBT it genuinely just feels like you’re gaslighting yourself into ignoring very real concerns. When your mental health issues stem from trauma, your fears ARE based on real things that have happened to you - it’s just that your brain doesn’t know how to stop seeing the threat everywhere that it looks, because suddenly everything feels like a warning sign. CBT is NOT good for people whose fears stem from real, repeated experiences. CBT *is* good for people who just have very obviously irrational thinking. Sometimes anxious thoughts that come from trauma, even if they seem unlikely, are an attempt to protect yourself from future harm, and forcing yourself to treat them as false feels like being told that your past negative experiences are also false. Hopefully that makes sense. Please don’t assume that everyone’s issues can be treated the same as yours.
All thoughts are all lies all the time
People can convince themselves of all kinds of things, but it only exists in their head.. see the thoughts and let then go
Your thoughts are nothing compared to BPD i can assure you that
I might try this myself. Thanks
OMG that's good. I need that. Thankyou!
Therapist who works with BPD here!
This guy NEEDS a DBT therapist. He should contact his local community mental health authority. Since BPD is a severe and persistent mental health problem, he should qualify for CMH services, potentially for free.
yes!!! I was about to comment about DBT! I have borderline and DBT absolutely changed my life in the best way possible.
Honestly, this guy feels 'self diagnosed'.
I came here to say this!! I work at a DBT practice and BPD can't be cured with medication. I hope he gets the help he needs!
@@psyche100self diagnosis can be a valid first step or an option for people without access to mental health care or education about it. A diagnosis not having been formalized previously doesn’t exclude the possibility that it could be formally diagnosed going forward, nor does it give you reason to judge someone. Gatekeeping diagnoses like this keeps people who clearly need some sort of guidance from seeking help. So just stop with the “I bet he’s self diagnosed” nonsense. It doesn’t matter
@@lizzycarman601 DBT is a type of therapy used for certain conditions or situations, it stands for dialectic behavioral therapy! BPD is borderline personality disorder
Y’all absolutely violated him on the thumbnail 😂
They're so hilarious 😂
He's definitely a victim now lmao
Literally 😂😂😂
His thumbnails are war crimes.
I mean that as a compliment.
I thought we were getting John Goodman.
Mental health is not your fault, but it is your responsibility 👏
This is my mantra. I have ADHD which has a lot of other conditions that can come with it. For me it’s depression and anxiety. But I stay on top of my mental health, take meds, do therapy, try and make good lifestyle choices and habits. Do my mental health conditions make that all harder? Very much so. But I want to and deserve to have a rich and fulfilling life so I keep trying. With psych stuff it may not be the first doctor or the first medication that works. You have to keep trying and keep communication with your medical team.
Sometimes it can be your fault too though!
Bad habits lead to bad outcomes
Well said
Just because it's not your fault doesn't mean it's not your problem. Lol.
While I understand and agree, I do have to wonder what percentage of the people repeating this actually have first hand experience with mental illness. BPD is an extremely debilitating and challenging disorder. I know because I have it, among other illnesses. Believe me when I say that our modern work force could not possible be more hostile towards people like us.
As a therapist who treats BPD, he is right in lot of things that he was saying about the disorder, HOWEVER, he could do virtual DBT therapy which has been shown to be very effective for BPD and I can almost guarantee that there is at least 1 virtual BPD / DBT therapist in the entire state of Texas. It isn't his fault that he has this disorder and I have so much empathy for him, but it is his responsibility as an adult to better his situation and to get treatment. I hope he is able to get the support and treatment to help him x
My insurance won't pay for virtual. Maybe his won't either. Funny bc my employer owns & manages my insurance & they own & operate a huge mental health component THAT PRIDES ITSELF ON VIRTUAL CARE. Yet they won't cover it.
@@googleuser3749dam the irony 😂
I doubt he can afford it and I doubt he has employer funded healthcare that will cover it. You obviously must know how limited mental health care is for those who are low income.
I was a DBT therapist too. It can be difficult to get into and almost impossible for most to get insurance to pay.
@@marciareagan2718exactly… I’ve tried to join 2 dbt programs in different states, one had a waitlist of 6 months and the other was about 9 months. And finding DBT classes that don’t clash with a normal work schedule on top of that can feel next to impossible, not to mention how much of a time commitment a typical DBT program is that meets multiple times a week plus homework. It IS very effective, I just wish it was more accessible… but unfortunately the US government doesn’t seem to care about supporting mentally ill people in a way that would allow them to actually RECOVER.
Caleb, TODAY IS THE DAY YOULL HIT 1MILLION SUBS!!
I’m so stoked for you! Been here since 80k
It all that’s to your support!
@@CalebHammerbeen here since 19k 🥲 proud of u caleb u are by far my fav channel ! the information and perspective u give is so valuable
he did!!
@@CalebHammeryou won the sun race!
Congrats to Celeb and all the crew!
My husband and I have been watching your videos for a while. We just came into a life changing amount of money, and if we still had our old attitudes, we probably would have squandered it. Instead, we sat down and laid out a clear blueprint for our lives. Our families weren't good with money, so most of the information we used came from this channel.
You're really making a difference.
Save your money and invest for the future 😊
proud of u guys!!
That is awesome!
I really appreciate it ❤
That's the crazy thing about money is that keeping isn't about what you do, it's about what you don't do. You don't get that new car, you don't go on that exorbitant vacation, you don't buy these dumb things and over time it'll show whether or not you did the smart or the dumb thing.
Every little chuckle from that dude was driving me up a wall
Right??
I ran out of walls 😂😂😂
@@carljohnson6071 😂
fuckin seriously
It’s the laugh of a serial killer
Not me getting teary eyed at the end. When you started talking about him going to Colorado and getting his resume together, his eyes lit up and that was the first time I saw him have hope for his situation. Kudos to you for showing this compassion, Caleb!
Yeah, how long is that gonna last though?
@@sdm1568could say the same about pretty much any guest appearing on this show.
All we can do as random strangers on the internet is show support, if we feel so inclined, and hope for the best.
@@sdm1568 we don't know, but we can't wish the worst for guests. Unless they are threatening Caleb 40 times per day lol.
I have noticed all the people that want to avoid responsibility bring up mental health as the reason why they're not doing too well, Caleb ends up being a therapist rather than a financial auditor!
Exactly. "I have mental health issue, I know it, I'm not doing anything about it, nor will I be willing to do anything." Well then bye, there's nothing to do then if you're blaming mental health and won't change
@@chesspwn7457 Caleb needs to start using the phrase I use, "your issues aren't your fault but they are your responsibility".
He's just an ass.
There have been a few who are self aware and have worked on them. You can always tell the responsible ones from the excuses bc the story doesn't shift, and they open with I know why this happens and I cope or work on it by...
I wonder how many of these folks on Financial Audit have real diagnosed issues compared to self diagnosed people with a victimhood complex that don’t want to take accountability for their own actions
The editors did this guy dirty leaving that feetfinder transaction up on the screen so long 😂😂😂
He got PAID from feet finder though I thought? Since it's not negative.
Glad someone else caught that 😂
It's a credit, looks like $29? Do we think this gentleman has $29 feet?
I was laughing at this too
LIETERALLY WENT LOOKONG FOR THE FOOTFINDER COMMENT LMAOO😂😂
Bro has a $200 rent and told Caleb "show me how you say I'm supposed to survive on my paychecks" 😂
How can he afford his feet pics?!?
Watching this made me feel better because I also pay $200 in "rent" to live at home, but am nowhere near this guy's level 🤣
Also he eats 5x his rent outside. Thats insane
This guy is DOOMED. Clinically, financially, and socially. This is a real time look at someone before they lose everything and become homeless
This guys chuckle aggravates my soul
the "HMHMHMHM" YEP!!!!
Oh my god I was hoping someone else commented on it. It seems so sinister 😣
Thank god im not the only one
IMHO It’s a narcissistic tell
Infuriating
$956.00 on junk food alone. That should of been a reality check for him. Like wake up. This is his intervention.
You could lease a nicer car for half the amount spent on snacks 😂
That's a pack of two ribeye steaks a day
He's an American NEET lol
Should’ve*
As much as I think hellofresh is a waste of money for most people, I think some of these folks could benefit from using it for a couple months to realize that it's not hard to cook good food for yourself. Then they can transition to shopping for the ingredients themselves and get them for cheap. I order food out once or twice a month, it blows my mind that people with zero money are ordering food for all of their meals
Video idea - have someone submit their current debts and statements like normal, but have them complete your budgeting course prior to having them on the show. Then you can compare the before and after of their accounts in the same episode.
They have access to them before, they often just don’t do them, and when they do they don’t use them to change.
The way Caleb talks to guests with mental health issues makes me tear up because it comes from a place of so much care and love.
Then five minutes later, you're like "oh Caleb, come on now" as he spews actual hate (don't worry, I understand context). Not everyone can deal with hateful and aggressive speech very well, not even if it's in context of compassion, such as it is on this show. I can only speak for myself, but ad hominem attacks (which Caleb utilizes heavily) would make me take him WAY less seriously if I were on his show, and would set an inherently antagonistic tone that would make me way less likely to listen to advice.
Basically, you know better, Caleb knows better, we all do. He only gets to behave like that because it's his show and we all know the context.
Tldr: some people view hateful tones and words at face value, and don't see the love in it that you do. Caleb is definately responsible for making a few people's finances worse for this reason alone. Please rethink praising a show that is designed to make a spectacle of stupid people for entertainment and educational value for showing love to disabled people. Caleb is really bad at being compassionate, and I think you know that deep down inside (or are you new to this channel?). His hyperbolic hate and aggression is a part of the show since it's the main vessel for comic relief on the show. Yeah, the more I think about it, the more likely it is that you haven't seen many Financial Audit videos.
@@awesomeferrettldr being longer than the original body of text 😂
This guy gives Boogie a run for his money for the Excuse gold medal (edit: implying Boogie has money)
U watch caleb. My mind has been blown again. Love ur vids as well me and the wife got red shoes on DVD because of u
Omg hi Saber!
SABER THE CALEB ENJOYER?!
Financially responsible SABERSPARK??? Yo bro
Sabeeeeeeeer
Caleb when someone is telling you all the medical issues they have related to mental health, you should ask them if they are diagnosed with this condition by a professional (only real way to actually truly know) this guys first defense of his mental illnesses is “all the videos he saw online said this”
I've been listening really hard to hear if he was actually diagnosed for realsies or just self diagnosed off a tiktok doomscrolling session.
This is what he should do. Literally everyone thinks they have ADHD, dyslexic blah blah. They self diagnose like crazy. This guy said he has BPD but no Dr knows enough about it to help.... But they knew enough about it to diagnose it?
I was professionally "diagnosed" with ADHD, OCD, bipolar, BPD, ODD, anxiety disorder.... you know how many of those I actually had? None. Not a single one. I had textbook dyscalculia, that's what was causing my issues but psychiatrists chose not to give me that diagnosis because it isn't something they can make money off. A diagnosis means next to nothing.
@@redfin382 Some people out there really do try to build a personality off of diagnoses they read online, then get offended when a medical professional challenges that diagnosis because it ruins their self perception. It's even worse when the person has a real issue (let's say a personality disorder), but refuses appropriate treatment because they are convinced they have something else (like autism).
Please, if anyone ever finds themselves relating to symptoms of a disorder, talk to your doctor. Some symptoms overlap between disorders. In the worst cases, the person whose video you are watching wasn't properly diagnosed either and the info itself is completely wrong.
Yeah it's ridiculous how everybody and their mother and their dog and their cat and their goldfish self-diagnosed themselves with everything under the sun these days.
Just paid off ally credit card debt😢 worked 40 hours of overtime but definitely worth the peace❤ thank you Caleb.
Well done ! I definitely is a sacrifice especially as mama so I admire your consistency! I kinda wanna say I’m proud of you ! I just paid off mine so I understand !
GREAT JOB!!! 👏
Congrats!
Amazing 🎉
My job doesn't offer much overtime, but they did have a lot of people come in to do inventory over new years and the after tax return on those 8 hours nearly made me cum. I'm always offering up overtime now when I'm bored xD
I don't normally watch Financial Audit stuff because uh, it'll remind me what a mess my own financials are in BUT, this one definitely made me notice a few of my own bad habits in this man, and made me realize I really need to go get some shit checked out. It's bold but, thanks to Brian for being Open and Real about this shit. Time to call my psychiatrist.
When you can identify the problematic behaviors that you engage in and attribute them to your mental illness, but aren’t taking steps to correct those behaviors…you’ve become your own biggest enabler.
You clearly don't understand how Borderline Personality Disorder will cause you to ruin your relationships with others, which is the foundation of the professional world. I'm upset that Caleb called him a man child in the title. Dehumanizing to those with this mental illness, or complex trauma.
@@gdawg00 Remember that every thumbnail Caleb posts, it's approved by the guest beforehand.
@@gdawg00womp womp, I love those kind of people, makes winning easier for the rest of us
@@gdawg00he’s a man child Fs, his mental health is no longer an excuse when enabling himself and not wanting help, it’s no one else’s fault but his and his taking criticism and spending like a child
he can’t access treatment for his disorder…. what do you expect him to do lol
I commend Caleb for calling this guy on his BS, while still showing empathy towards his situation & encouraging him to make healthy changes (and not just the financial variety)
Bro this guys a liar. I doubt his parent physically and mentally abused him to the point he developed bpd. The fact that he felt comfortable to go back for a place to sleep shows it probably isn’t true. Especially considering his sister feels comfortable enough to let her daughter stay there.
@@23kurtzy to assume makes an ass of u and me. In this case, mostly u
@@StephsPets This is a man whose diagnosing his bpd off of articles he’s read on the internet. Not to mention he also supposedly worked in real estate making 30k a month but somehow doesn’t know how a credit score works. Something literally every real estate agent would have to ask about before selling a house.
I think I’m pretty safe in my assumptions, because he is a compulsive liar.
Where are you even getting that information?
@@23kurtzy "This is a man whose diagnosing his bpd off of articles he's read on the internet" - when in the video is this stated?
i’ve had a sandwhich and chips for lunch for almost a year now and that alone has saved me a tremendous amount of money compared to eating out
Chips, though I feel like you can find a healthy alternative for cheaper
Ngl a vape has saved my appetite,money and helped me lose a ton of weight although its not healthy it works😂
I cook a huge pot of vegetable soup that lasts for days too, that also saves me some money
@@sleepysandwichyeah you better eat those veggies
JUST by not eating out and upping our grocery budget, we put an extra 20 k into our retirement acct. every year for the past 6 years. I feel like we cracked a code and every time someone says they cannot afford something now I ask them, “How much do you eat out/order in/door dash?” Sadly most ppl look at me like I’m crazy. They never see the mountain wearing away a grain of sand at a time.
This pains me. The problem with Borderline is the mixed bag of feeling so self-assured and righteous mixed with absolute harsh self-criticism. I really do hope he gets help above all else cause Borderline can lead to a very very lonely life untreated.
My client told me it feels like knowing for a fact you're the smartest, most talented, best at everything human on the planet and then dealing with the frustration that your physical ability, mental & intellectual capacity & life don't reflect that.
Oh that's so weird, I always thought it was called "motherfucking asshole piece of shit"
I'm glad to get the medical term!
Will say again like the recent episodes, the focus on credit score when people are drowning in debt is absolutely insane.
well a good credit score is absolutely vital for any real purchase an adult would spend their money on, but since 90% of caleb's guests are emotionally stunted psychopaths, youre right its a complete of time
@@Dre2Dee2 well if you're that much in debt , you obviously can't afford anything that requires credit.
One Millie Coming soon!!! Huge congrats Caleb, you truly deserve it. Thank you for all you do.
THANK YOU!!! It’s all thanks to the amazing support
First to a mili ahead of Iced Coffee Hour. 😅
Leaving Iced Coffee Hour in the DUST on your way to 1 MILLION!!! 🎉🎉🎉
YESSIRRRRRRR
@@Jake38nineyeah i had to stop watching him after he started promoting his gambling rate bank
@@Jake38nine True!!!
Never heard of Iced Coffee Hour.
@Jake38nine 💯
He says $50k was the most he's ever made in a year, then 15min later says he used to make $30k A MONTH selling houses 🤣 you don't forget making 30 grand a month, homie just started lying for no reason lmao
starting off he said he "quit" but then 2 mins later he says his boss "let him go" then says yea I made him fire me like wtf that's so cap
I think he said (or meant to say) 3 grand a month
@@ricks47403 grand a month selling houses? What? You’d have to sell sheds to make that little
@@ricks4740hes got bpd, hes a compulsive liar
Liars be lyin’.
I understand that keeping tabs on your finances is stressful and basically hell but the way people simply ignore their bills and don't look into them to see if they're getting robbed is insane.
Keeping tabs on your finances is also stressful if you have no discipline / self-control
It's so much fun. I bought a budget planner and I love filling it in and tracking every expense. I'm a bit different than most people though, I've accepted it at this stage.
It's only stressful/hell for those with extremely disorganized finances. They're afraid to see how bad it is. People with good finances enjoy it or at the very least tolerate it.
Not to mention having outstanding car loans from the last few cars you owned.
I'm a trauma therapist and I work with a lot of clients with BPD. I guessed "family trauma" literally just from the first 15 seconds. This guy is not wrong about how much of a life-fuck BPD is; it affects all of your relationships, which (obviously) impacts your ability to hold a job, maintain a romantic relationship, make friends, and so on. He's not going to make any improvements without a trauma-informed mental health professional (not easy to find, but it's getting easier). Lots of therapists are offering services online now, so the cost of gas doesn't have to be a barrier to care.
The biggest issue is getting someone with bpd to stay with a therapist long enough to get help. It’s a frustrating disorder.
Sounds made up
Thank you!❤❤❤ traumatized bpd kid here
@@njr777stop
@@katiep5256rather I would say, there are bad therapists too. But in his case he’s still living in the home. So quitting therapists would be more likely in my Humble opinion
Caleb’s head literally sizzling as he’s ready to blow, people are so lucky that he cares so much honestly. He cares when they cannot care for themselves yet.
Caleb is genuinely a compassionate guy and it's so refreshing to see someone like him succeeding. This was a really hard watch but I always watch till the end because Caleb's relentless compassion and humanity is so hopeful in even the worst audit cases.
I knew I would find others who see exactly what I've been seeing in this episode. So many dismissive, knee-jerk reactionary comments to this episode and guest. But I see the fact that Caleb truly gave this guy great advice, and so have so many other wonderful people in the comments section. I wish I could delete all the comments dismissing Brian bc they aren't actually listening to him nor are they really taking in what Caleb can obviously see too. Lots of ppl in the comments are rolling their eyes but not watching to the end nor actually listening and seeking to understand the human guest who is courageously sharing his life with us.
He calls people morons in thumbnails that are super click baity which is super weird given how he acts in the video
🙄 lol
@@Chungus581boohoo, this isn’t 2015, go complain about clickbait on Reddit or something everyone knows that the thumbnail is irrelevant.
The dirty money ad has got to be one of the best I've ever seen. Well done guys!!!!
Did we just graze over his feetfinder charge 🤣
This is why I came to the comment section 😂😂😂
agreed me too@@foxythought2648
pulling out payday loans to get feet pics lmfao
WHERE!!! LOL
@@JC-lz7oy50:18. I was literally looking in the comments to find this exact thing lmao. I was surprised no one was talking about it
Has no time to go to Dallas to get help because his busy schedule. Busy schedule goes home and goes to room.
He very clearly gives 0 fucks about his situation.
How do you make $40,000/year and not pay off a $700 credit card ($200 over the limit) IMMEDIATELY?
He has no bills. Just pay it off and cut up the card with your next paycheck. No excuses. JUST DO IT.
So many of these people are like this; where Caleb looking at their credit card statement is the first time anyone has looked at it at all.
@@EWall1498 A lot of them have the mentality that a credit card is free money and it doesn’t matter if you max them out.
It blows my mind.
He explained it in the video you just watched 🤦🏽♂️
@@strjourneys7919It's a rhetorical question. It boils down to negligence and immaturity.
The thing that gets me with the last few guests, but especially this guy, is they all have this idea that they need credit or have to have a high score but it’s not seeming to register that you Can Not “improve your score” when you have stuff going into collections… I also get the vibe most people don’t understand what Caleb means when he asks What credit are you trying to take advantage of? They just think it’s a goal they should have. This guy with his signing up for paid credit boosters and then letting that subscription go into collections is just too much… I’m stressed out
The impulsive behavior intolerance of being bored, is actually symptomatic of BPD. And it really is hard to find professionals who are able to help. People struggling with BPD need to learn distress tolerance. Unfortunately, BPD is developed typically because of early childhood experiences, so family is often the worst trigger for them.
My kid's Dad has it, I never saw more growth than when he didn't talk to his Mom for over a year. When they did get back into contact, it was like a relapse. It's a very rough disorder.
Look up tim Fletcher on complex trauma. Very insightful on these matters
It isn't necessarily hard to find professionals who can help it is hard to modify behavior to make progress toward clinical goals. BPD affects relationships and that includes clinical relationships. Someone really has to be motivated to make progress.
Stop diagnosing people online. It’s not possible. I also have intolerance of being bored and do not have BPD. It’s called not wanting to be bored. Every human goes through this. It doesn’t mean you have BPD.
@@1teymo-zx1rothere is no way you can know or prove that. Every brain, person, and life is different.
@@stephaniejackson9089 yeah, I think there are a lot of really great online free resources, but my understanding is that having a positive relationship with a professional can be the "speediest" means of meaningful changes. Dialectical behavior therapy is great, EMDR can help a lot for many people, but I agree that getting started at least by just accessing online resources/books etc would be a great place to start.
I’ve paid off 4k of debt so far this year because of you 🎉
Proud of you 👏🏾
For someone who hates his family, he has depended on them a large amount, and still has not takes accountability for himself!
My ex wife has it. To quote her “it’s their fault I am this way so whatever I steal is just reparations”. By the time my divorce was finalized the total she stole from them was 210k and did about 32k from me while sinking my credit 200 points (opened some cards in my name)
I think he was very spoiled and tells himself all these things to justify his crappy behavior. Even in this interview he flip flops and makes up stories for things more than once.
What was extra weird is he said he wanted to eventually be able to take care of his parents down the line. ??
@@wmluna381parents/family can do some CRAPPY things and you still love them and maybe even desire their approval. Some parents do terrible things and children still rather be with them than not. There is nothing like your momma. And those contradicting feelings can cause a lot of confusing emotions and thoughts.
@@intuitive_duckyour user name is WIDLY ironic 😂
KNOCKING ON THE DOOR OF ONE MILLION CALEB !! 🎉
all thanks to you!
3k away
@@CalebHammer Can you knock on my door next? >:)
Only 3 K more subs!
you're helping so many people@@CalebHammer ! keep killing it and take time off when you need it, dont get too burnt out! your audience will still be here!! ❤
Some people don't want to help themselves. They'd rather wallow in their own misery.
Mental health is not your fault but it is your responsibility to deal with.
This guy was deflecting so hard every single second of this episode
CALEB!!!! My guy I absolutely love your show and I’ve been watching since August of 2023… at that point of time I had over $12,000 on a discover card and $10,000 left on a car note. Im getting it all gone this year eating cheez-its, crackers and chips 😂 the inspiration to get a move on it was your show! Try to remember this comment because I will be commenting again when it’s gone! Thank you and all of your team for all yalls hard work and dedication to help out others with something a lot of people struggle with! Don’t change and keep doing what you’re doing man it’s actually doing good for folks and aren’t even on the show I’m one of them! Such a wholesome dude all love my guy ❤
04/12/24 the day I got rid of all of it my guy 👍🏽
Congratulations! Thats seriously amazing 👏 im proud of you internet stranger
I absolutely love how Caleb spoke towards the end about being worthy of living. This guy has definitely gone in a crippling depression and a downwards spiral. I agree he needs to build his confidence back up and that can boost start his life recovery
Bro I’m halfway through the episode and I legit thought Caleb was going to end it right then and there on the spot…😂😂
End was really wholesome, Caleb realized the tough love wasn’t working and shifted. This was a great episode
Person with BPD here previously 26,000 in debt from severe lack of impulse control which is a very difficult part of BPD that is hard to overcome. The good news is you CAN overcome the destructive parts of BPD with continued therapy and help in other ways. Yes mental health issues are not your fault but it is your responsibility to do something about it!
This is how diagnosing people with mental issues can negatively effect them. It gives them excuses for behavior but no solutions.
Sure, but something tells me this guy would blame something else if he wasn’t diagnosed.
Such a True statement. This applies to lots of labels and conditions these days.
Not successful must be due to external factors.
Not able to get good grades or want to do long hours at work? Must have ADHD.
A diagnosis of mental health condition is not a free pass to not fulfill any responsibility in life.
Not having a label on it still means the condition is there, BPD is considered a serious mental illness. It requires specific therapy that isn't available everywhere. Yes, he could be doing better, but if he had a serious physical diagnosis we wouldn't be talking about him in such a disgusted manner. It is an all day every day battle when you do engage in treatment, that's fucking exhausting. If he was in therapy, for a good while, he'd still be struggling for a while because trying to manage it drains you.
Have definitely noticed this more and more. Most people with diagnosed mental issues cannot actually fix it by themselves BECAUSE they don't have the mentality to do so. They need therapy, guidance, treatment, etc that needs to go hand-in-hand with the diagnosis. Which is why when I have friends who "think" they have a mental issue talk to me about going to the doctor to get a diagnosis, I always ask them if they are financially able to go to therapy. Because they will run the risk of always using that diagnosis as a crutch to excuse themselves of any accountability for poor decisions they make as an adult.
Oh I took a 500% interest rate loan? It's because I have BPD. Oh I quit my job because I hated it? It's because I have BPD. Oh I stay in my room and don't talk to people? It's because I have BPD. And on and on and on...
People find a reason for the things they're feeling and thinking. And when they find an explanation for it, instead of using it to inform them of how to fix their issues, they fall into the trap of victimhood because that's just easier to do than fix yourself. And they fall victim to the victimhood mentality because they didn't have the mental fortitude to fix themselves in the first place. It's a vicious cycle that they themselves don't even realize they're subjecting themselves to.
@@ohasumirawryou’re missing many aspects of this. a lot of people who do have a diagnosis when it’s serious tend to have gotten it within an assessment in a psych hold or via an intervention from parents
I feel so bad for this guy man- he says flat out he feels like a waste of space. That broke my heart!! I think his little laugh and attitude is a coping mechanism because he already knows, more than anyone, how bad the situation is. This dude has never had anyone tell him the path to successful healthy living, and has no direction. This has been a major help for him and Caleb is so kind to be so honest and caring.
Spot on!! It was definitely the wake up call I so desperately needed!!!
Another AMAZING comment!!! Don't know why but this is my FAVE episode so far. Maybe because of so much about the story I can relate to. However, I'm just going to keep calling out comments like these... Total GEMS, the real gems 💎 to hold onto. Life is crazy. You think you're just gonna get some education and laugh at a UA-cam video and then you see yourself in another person's story. Then you read comments like this and it makes you realize there are so many good people in this world 🙏 thanks for sharing
Considering how even his sister and niece all live with him and their parents.
It's clear this family has a lot of issues
The last 10 minutes wrapped up this episode very well, gave me a little hope for him along with a little more understanding on how he thinks. Definitely feel less frustrated. Genuinely hope he can start over and live the best life he can live.
I really want to see this guy do well. I can massively empathize that kind of internal despair and despondency he seems to show. He seems like a cool guy to work and hang out with. Caleb hit the nail right on the head when he said it seems like he’s just given up. And listen man, if you’re reading this, I am so rooting for you! I completely agree with Caleb: you are supposed to be here and you are worthy of good things, good friends and nurturing relationships, a safe home away from the people who hurt you. You deserve all of those things SOLELY because you are a human being. That’s it, full stop. Please don’t give up.
You're amazing for saying that. I really appreciate the kind words ❤
I'm really glad you made a point to tell him that he mattered and deserved to live a good life. I saw a lot of myself in his struggles of only going to work and hiding in a room alone and my self-worth is also low... It really makes a difference for just one person to see it and care. I hope this guy is able to come back on the show in the future, I'd love to see him succeed.
Been here since you were around 18k subs, congratulations on 1 MILLION Caleb!! Incredibly deserving!
Bro I had to check the subs if you were right ahhhh don’t tease me like that
@@shawcole142 soon enough man, soon enough😂
Speaking from personal experience suffering from a subform of BPD called quiet BPD, it's a devastating disorder and it requires a lot of self awareness and energy to ensure healthy relationships and not letting your life spiral out of control. It's caused by a mixture of environmental and genetic factors. I view my disorder as a result of my psychology being unfit for my surroundings, and it's important that I work on myself to make myself fit my environment and social life. At the same time though adjustments like working in jobs that don't require interaction with people for great amounts of time 😅
I hope he can get the DBT that he needs.
525.18% interest is some loan sharking on another level
As someone with BPD (it is a spectrum so I recognise that now everyone is the same), I can honestly say getting a good therapist is IMMENSELY helpful. Talk therapy is a great tool, and it can be so easy to use BPD as an excuse for so much, but getting the right therapist can help you really face your behaviour and the gaps in your reasoning.
I have BPD too and I pay $60/session for therapy, $60/session to get a mood stabilizer RX, and $12/month for the RX.
It seems like a lot but when I look back at how much I’ve recklessly spent not on meds or in therapy, it’s deff cheaper to get the help even if it means not being able to get the snacks or other wants…
in some places (and with some insurance plans) it can be INSANELY hard to find a therapist who is both willing to treat someone with BPD and trained in DBT. I was misdiagnosed with BPD “traits” for a while and mentioning that plus a recent hospitalization made several therapists I reached out to say that my needs were “beyond their scope”. DBT programs are ideal but they often have a several month wait, are difficult to get covered by insurance, and often clash with normal work schedules. Many other types of talk therapy can also be harmful for BPD. I agree with what you’re saying for the most part, but it’s not always that easy to get proper professional support.
you only get a therapist to get better
Do you think he's actually bipolar? I am not saying either way.
the message towards the end 55:28 is worth everything in this video. He may seem hopeless, he may FEEL hopeless, but he's not...there's a path here somewhere, and I think the suggestion of getting out of the house and volunteering or something is really good...we all need that in person connection. Plus treatment of course ;) Keep tryin dude!!
- Can't afford gas
- Buys virtual gems
I think there’s a huge swath of rural Texas and the Bible Belt where there really isn’t a lot of FREE fun. I’ve visited places in TX with no walking/hiking trails or public parks. And as an adult with no pets, going to hang out at a park is kinda weird. Some areas are so car-centric and rural, the only things to really DO for fun are going to a bar or restaurant. Not an excuse, but something to keep in mind. Without a big city or natural landscapes to explore, all there is to do is be a consumer.
Jaysus. That dude was painful. All power to ya Caleb for sticking with this dude. Congratulations on 1M subs ❤
CONGRATULATIONS CALEB ON 1 MILLION!!! 🎉🎉🎉
So exciting seeing you go from less than 5k to 1M subscribers! CONGRATULATIONS!!! Watching this channel grow has been my favorite experience within the UA-cam community.
Caleb, you were so nice to him, tbh. Thank you for being nice. He needed that. You make a big impact.
This channel is a great study for the explicit tie of mental health and Financial issues.
Brian, I work on a mental health team. Unfortunately psychiatrists and mental health teams often don't want to treat BPD as there is no pill or drug that is effective.
90% of our consumers have BPD. The primary evidence based treatment for BPD is Dialectal Behaviour Therapy (DBT).
Full DBT is a 12 month weekly group program and a weekly 1 on 1 linked DBT informed therapy sessions. The therapy itself requires a serious commitment, has lots of rules, and can be very difficult to complete. It can be hard to get a placement in these therapies, and expensive without insurance.
The results and success rates for those that complete the program are very good.
No episode Monday has me in withdrawl
Cannot believe it's Wednesday already
I kept refreshing the page :(
"I can make my own excuses, but thank you..."
Caleb, I'll never understand how you didn't kick him out then and there.
Truth! The rebuttal was condescending enough but Caleb turned this episode right-side up; there is a goal, there is a plan... Become independent, strive to thrive and build your empire!
Caleb to me is peak pinnacle of strong, resilient, true compassion with sound reason~!
It takes a lot to exert that sort of patience in that type of scenario, when all you want is the other person to succeed, for their own sakes!
Caleb you are well-loved in this world too
You could see him actually become real in that short conversation about mario kart, he got that little bit of genuine happiness and humor. You could tell he appreciated that, and just reassuring that he was a good person because some people dont hear that enough. Hes a genuinely good person but im sure his mental health is shooting himself in the foot, i know the feeling and dealt with it for years.
I appreciate you noticing that and taking the time to comment ❤
Congratulations on 1 Millions Subscribers! If anyone deserves it it's definitely you! Thank you so much for what y'all do! Here's to many more years of Caleb Hammer!!
Man watching Caleb has made me more aware and I’m watching what I spend on now
It did break my heart at the end when he really just let his guard down and allowed Caleb to advice him and I think he realised he actually wanted the best for him. Absolutely love what your Doing Caleb and it’s helped me so much to start identifying ways I’m justifying my shitting habits and encouraged me to start fixing my finances before it got out of hand
The intro to this episode is already good! 😬
Caleb, i’ve been watching you since 5k subs!!! You’re SO close to 1 million, you deserve it! My partner and I are debt free, have 1 year emergency funds, and are in the process of opening a business. I come from parents who live paycheck to paycheck and who are financially illiterate. I’m so glad I found your channel while still being young, you’ve taught me everything I know about finance and have changed my life, thank you!
“I don’t wanna spend money on something that’s not tangible” spends money on gems an intangible currency 🤥
He can't afford to buy groceries because he has no money. But he can buy junk food. These people are so delusional.
HEY CALEB YOURE MY FAV UA-camR
you're my fav human
@@CalebHammerOMG YOU REPLIED
You're fangirling 😂. It's super cute
Caleb love how you care about people. In the last few minutes you nailed it. He is severely depressed and as you said he is buying games and getting take out as comfort mechanism. Until he he gets that under control he won't be able to focus on changing his situation. It broke my heart how he is floundering. He has no backup and is on an island and can't see the shore.
CALEB YOU GOT TO A MILLION!! CONGRATS!
The smug laugh and yeahs are so infuriating, idk how Caleb made it through this without going across the table
Ugh same!!!
So rude, it’s so frustrating
he did say it was a nervous tick
Because he understands that's how some people react under pressure. Which I hope you don't work with people.
@@brandonlee747Bro is damn near 40, time to grow up and take accountability.
After discovering this channel last year (after a couple months of watching videos) I cut out almost all eating out, and a bunch of other wasteful spending. I’ve started more effectively budgeting though there is still room for improvement on the actual budgeting side of it. I just track all of my spending and and extremely careful on what I’m spending and on what. Now I just watch a few videos once every two months or so to help keep me on track. Still not great by where I want to be but getting closer and closer and even if I don’t get where I want to be I will be in a better position than I was going to be.
I wish him the best. I can relate the sense of feeling worthless after all these years and no goal in mind. Small steps man, small steps. More importantly, just being aware that someone sees where you are at and giving you a sense of hope for the better, a possibility of change not just from where you feel stuck at but also from within...
Ill be rooting for you, Brian.
I had a crippling drug addiction and made a lot of similar choices. Never made the excuses though. You have the patience of a saint for REAL
Wow, I absolutely loved the last 10 mins of this episode! Caleb giving really, truly solid and amazing advice! His words were so kind and full of empathy!
Caleb your frustration with the finances are spot on, but you handled him as a real person.
There is a therapy that was developed by someone with bpd for people with bpd. It’s called Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT). He needs to look for a therapist trained in DBT and he will be able to find the help he needs from someone who understands this disorder.
Can we see guests that are trying to do right things? Like ppl that are investing, saving while trying to get out of debt. Just avg ppl trying to do the right.
There is no way in hell this guy was making 360k a year selling homes
He definitely did some bad mental math on that one
Caleb need some kind of award for dealing with people that have this level of mental health issues. I can't deal with this level for a whole hour plus.
If this guy played games with Caleb afterwards he’d ask if Caleb wants anything from Uber eats 😂 Caleb would blow up and run to the sandwich fridge
This guy is my age and I can’t fathom how nonchalant he is about his situation. Came to this country 5 years ago and I have been working to the bone to save up enough retirement fund to live comfortably in my mid 50’s.
I hear Cybersecurity and "get bored easily" and freak out. Cybersecurity isn't some hacker Neo type stuff. You are literally doing the same thing day in and day out, hoping to find something interesting. It is reports, it is emails, it lots of person-to-person contact.
If you get bored easily, most of Cybersecurity IS NOT for you. Maybe some sales position, but the core of Cybersecurity is completing the same few steps, just changing things slightly to account for whatever the new attack is.
Also, the grind and persistence is real. It isn't really a field where you gain a singular skill and sit back. You won't grow, you will get pigeon holed, and you will wonder why you hate yourself.