Dear Dr May, i am a Psychiatrist in Ireland who is currently training in DBT and EMDR. I have just found your videos to help with my learning. Your relaxed style, knowledge and explanations are extremely helpful and i wanted to thank you! It has enhaned my learning so much. All the best, Ciaran
My coping skill is coming here to relearn all the DBT acronyms, I kinda forget them all in the midst of the ''storm'' 🙏 you are a refuge from my mind 🙏 thank you
I'm so glad I found you. My partner has BPD SUD And pretty sure CPTSD. She is incarcerated and my ability to get information to her is limited . There's no treatment in there, I can't get her videos like this, the best I have been able to do is transcribe the videos into messages. But she doesn't do well with them and only have certain times where she can go to the kiosk to read them and only has a limited time each session to read them. She does much better with physical books. We've been working with Dr Fox's borderline personality disorder workbook. But she's finally starting to ask me for specific books. She asked for a book on the favorite person. I've been trying to explain that for some time because her favorite person is not me and someone she will cheat with and will treat with her any chance they get. I was trying to explain why it's almost impossible for her to let them go since she's untreated despite the fact that it's toxic relationship and she wants to more than anything Let it Go. do you have any recommendations for a physical book that covers that information as well as your video did? And also maybe any other recommendations to start out with for an untreated borderline who can't have a therapist. We're in a really bad spot because she doesn't understand the danger she's in when she's released. The only place she's going to have to go unless she chooses another program is her mother's home. Her mother who is one of the components that's significantly responsible for the borderline in the first place and will cause the triggers, as well extremely close access to drugs when she is triggered. I mean like walking less than a minute access. She won't be home today before she's high again. She thinks because she wants therapy she'll be be fine. I'm trying to explain that without treating both disorders simultaneously it's difficult if not impossible to get sober. It's really disgusting how many people are in her position incarcerated with no help and no chance because the second they get out they're triggered and they get high and they get arrested again. She seriously been in and out for over 23 years. I'm the first one that's actually stopped and paid attention to wonder why she did the things she did as opposed to just looking at what she did. And it took me years to figure it out but this is what it is. And it turns out she was diagnosed with 18 and it went by the wayside. So I need to figure out how to get her the information she needs to make the choice to go someplace safe when released. Yes right now all I'm hearing is that emotional 5-year-old screaming at me that she doesn't want to be locked up for another year after being in prison again. But I know that's the safest place and the best chance for her to get better is to be away from it and in a semi supervised place. She doesn't need to be incarcerated but I don't believe she's equipped to be free either. And I could be wrong but, I'm terrified about what's going to happen a year from now. So any resources you can recommend would be fantastic. And I thought I heard you saying another video that you work at Pilgrim State in new york. Is that Pilgrim State on Long island? My dad was in there decades ago. He was an alcoholic. So if I'm wrong or enabling it controlling the situation too much etc feel free to tell me to backup my codependency is showing....
Hi there, Thanks for your note. I'm so sorry that your girlfriend is suffering and unable to get treatment while incarcerated. While I'm not aware of any books on "favorite person," you could still maybe find some books about attachment styles. Anxious-ambivalent or preoccupied and/or disorganized attachment is probably closest to the favorite person dynamic, and your partner might see herself in that. They have some attachment workbooks on Amazon which might help, although I am not familiar with any one in particular. She may also benefit from a DBT workbook so she can start learning the DBT skills for managing her emotional dysregulation and relationships. I do work at Pilgrim Psychiatric Center, which is in Brentwood, NY on Long Island. It sounds like you are doing your best to be helpful and supportive. I'm not sure if I'm would label you as "co-dependent," but the main thing is to also take care of yourself and manage your stress level so your girlfriend's problems don't become overwhelming for you. Best of luck with everything! Dr. May
Eventually caught up with this. Problem is - so many channels, such little time. Decided to shed quite a few and focus on 2 main interests only. . Great video - will catch up with your past vids. asap!
Hi Dr. May! Do you have any kind of mailing list for your PowerPoint presentations? Us note takers would love that! Thank you so much for such valuable information! 💕
Hi Brittney, I don’t have a mailing list, but if it would help you to have a copy of some PowerPoints, please email me at jenjabmay77@gmail.com and I’ll help you out. 😊
I am stil reading Cognitive therapy basics and beyond by Judith Beck. A wonderful book. There are similarities about the book and your explaining. I thank you for your valuable teachings. A 22 years old woman is one situation and a 35 years old is another. In the sex market an average woman in NY or Toronto or London or Madrid have many men seeking them when she is 23. But when she is 33 mens attentions decline. That is a reality. That is sex market. A woman cutting herself need a theraphist. I will bet she is thinking about commiting suicide if not tried already. It is very bad mean men taking advantadge of depressive women. It is an act of cruelty. Depressive persons need a lot of help from relatives to fix their incorrect pessimistics thoughts.
Hi Dr. May, can you do a video explaining Values? I'm having a hard time figuring out what mine are. The most obvious is to protect and care for my family. But after that I'm not sure. If there is one already? I'm sorry I couldn't find it.
Okay, one video you can tryI is the ABC video under the DBT emotion regulation skills. The "accumulate positives" for the long term includes steps you can take for putting your values into action. Under RO DBT, lesson 10, Flexible Mind is DEEP, it goes over how to identify valued goals. Hope that helps!
Have you ever thought about making DBT skills videos for children? I teach upper elementary aged students who would benefit from learning the skills, but I can’t find any videos that are on their level.
That’s a great idea, but I’m not sure if I’m the best person to do this since I never did DBT with children. I know they adapted the skills for kids but I haven’t personally looked over that adaptation.
Hello! Thank you for your amazing videos. I have ocd and when I'm around people I have an obsessive fear that I have a displeased expression on my face. I'm trying to control my face. It looks strange artificial and pushes people away. Maybe ro dbt can help with this? I'll be very grateful for your answer.
Thanks for writing. It’s kind of hard to relax and look natural while you are worried about your facial expression. I hear your dilemma!😩 The social signaling parts of RO DBT might help. But at the same time you might need to add some work on loosening the grip on your obsessive worries about your facial expression. Maybe you can enlist a few people you trust to give you feedback on your social signaling to help with the process? Best of luck with everything! ❤️
Dear Dr May, i am a Psychiatrist in Ireland who is currently training in DBT and EMDR. I have just found your videos to help with my learning. Your relaxed style, knowledge and explanations are extremely helpful and i wanted to thank you! It has enhaned my learning so much. All the best, Ciaran
Glad to hear. Thanks so much! 🙏
Excellent video for the added stressors of the holidays you do a great job with explaining this.
Thanks, Dave 🙏
My coping skill is coming here to relearn all the DBT acronyms, I kinda forget them all in the midst of the ''storm'' 🙏 you are a refuge from my mind 🙏 thank you
Lol… yes, so many acronyms! Glad I could help! 😊
I'm so glad I found you. My partner has BPD SUD And pretty sure CPTSD. She is incarcerated and my ability to get information to her is limited . There's no treatment in there, I can't get her videos like this, the best I have been able to do is transcribe the videos into messages. But she doesn't do well with them and only have certain times where she can go to the kiosk to read them and only has a limited time each session to read them. She does much better with physical books. We've been working with Dr Fox's borderline personality disorder workbook. But she's finally starting to ask me for specific books. She asked for a book on the favorite person. I've been trying to explain that for some time because her favorite person is not me and someone she will cheat with and will treat with her any chance they get. I was trying to explain why it's almost impossible for her to let them go since she's untreated despite the fact that it's toxic relationship and she wants to more than anything Let it Go. do you have any recommendations for a physical book that covers that information as well as your video did? And also maybe any other recommendations to start out with for an untreated borderline who can't have a therapist. We're in a really bad spot because she doesn't understand the danger she's in when she's released. The only place she's going to have to go unless she chooses another program is her mother's home. Her mother who is one of the components that's significantly responsible for the borderline in the first place and will cause the triggers, as well extremely close access to drugs when she is triggered. I mean like walking less than a minute access. She won't be home today before she's high again. She thinks because she wants therapy she'll be be fine. I'm trying to explain that without treating both disorders simultaneously it's difficult if not impossible to get sober. It's really disgusting how many people are in her position incarcerated with no help and no chance because the second they get out they're triggered and they get high and they get arrested again. She seriously been in and out for over 23 years. I'm the first one that's actually stopped and paid attention to wonder why she did the things she did as opposed to just looking at what she did. And it took me years to figure it out but this is what it is. And it turns out she was diagnosed with 18 and it went by the wayside. So I need to figure out how to get her the information she needs to make the choice to go someplace safe when released. Yes right now all I'm hearing is that emotional 5-year-old screaming at me that she doesn't want to be locked up for another year after being in prison again. But I know that's the safest place and the best chance for her to get better is to be away from it and in a semi supervised place. She doesn't need to be incarcerated but I don't believe she's equipped to be free either. And I could be wrong but, I'm terrified about what's going to happen a year from now. So any resources you can recommend would be fantastic. And I thought I heard you saying another video that you work at Pilgrim State in new york. Is that Pilgrim State on Long island? My dad was in there decades ago. He was an alcoholic. So if I'm wrong or enabling it controlling the situation too much etc feel free to tell me to backup my codependency is showing....
Hi there,
Thanks for your note. I'm so sorry that your girlfriend is suffering and unable to get treatment while incarcerated.
While I'm not aware of any books on "favorite person," you could still maybe find some books about attachment styles. Anxious-ambivalent or preoccupied and/or disorganized attachment is probably closest to the favorite person dynamic, and your partner might see herself in that. They have some attachment workbooks on Amazon which might help, although I am not familiar with any one in particular.
She may also benefit from a DBT workbook so she can start learning the DBT skills for managing her emotional dysregulation and relationships.
I do work at Pilgrim Psychiatric Center, which is in Brentwood, NY on Long Island.
It sounds like you are doing your best to be helpful and supportive. I'm not sure if I'm would label you as "co-dependent," but the main thing is to also take care of yourself and manage your stress level so your girlfriend's problems don't become overwhelming for you.
Best of luck with everything!
Dr. May
You are a gem
Awh, thanks. 🙏
Eventually caught up with this. Problem is - so many channels, such little time. Decided to shed quite a few and focus on 2 main interests only. . Great video - will catch up with your past vids. asap!
Awesome! Thanks so much! 👍🏻🙏
Hi Dr. May! Do you have any kind of mailing list for your PowerPoint presentations? Us note takers would love that! Thank you so much for such valuable information! 💕
Hi Brittney,
I don’t have a mailing list, but if it would help you to have a copy of some PowerPoints, please email me at jenjabmay77@gmail.com and I’ll help you out. 😊
Your PowerPoints are the best ❤
I am stil reading Cognitive therapy basics and beyond by Judith Beck. A wonderful book. There are similarities about the book and your explaining. I thank you for your valuable teachings. A 22 years old woman is one situation and a 35 years old is another. In the sex market an average woman in NY or Toronto or London or Madrid have many men seeking them when she is 23. But when she is 33 mens attentions decline. That is a reality. That is sex market. A woman cutting herself need a theraphist. I will bet she is thinking about commiting suicide if not tried already. It is very bad mean men taking advantadge of depressive women. It is an act of cruelty. Depressive persons need a lot of help from relatives to fix their incorrect pessimistics thoughts.
Thank you for your caring and compassion. 🙏
Hi Dr. May, can you do a video explaining Values?
I'm having a hard time figuring out what mine are.
The most obvious is to protect and care for my family. But after that I'm not sure.
If there is one already? I'm sorry I couldn't find it.
Okay, one video you can tryI is the ABC video under the DBT emotion regulation skills. The "accumulate positives" for the long term includes steps you can take for putting your values into action.
Under RO DBT, lesson 10, Flexible Mind is DEEP, it goes over how to identify valued goals.
Hope that helps!
@@jennifermayph.d.2761 Oh thank you! I'll check those ones out! 😊💖
Have you ever thought about making DBT skills videos for children? I teach upper elementary aged students who would benefit from learning the skills, but I can’t find any videos that are on their level.
That’s a great idea, but I’m not sure if I’m the best person to do this since I never did DBT with children. I know they adapted the skills for kids but I haven’t personally looked over that adaptation.
✅ good video
Thank you 🙏
Hello! Thank you for your amazing videos. I have ocd and when I'm around people I have an obsessive fear that I have a displeased expression on my face. I'm trying to control my face. It looks strange artificial and pushes people away. Maybe ro dbt can help with this? I'll be very grateful for your answer.
Thanks for writing. It’s kind of hard to relax and look natural while you are worried about your facial expression. I hear your dilemma!😩
The social signaling parts of RO DBT might help. But at the same time you might need to add some work on loosening the grip on your obsessive worries about your facial expression. Maybe you can enlist a few people you trust to give you feedback on your social signaling to help with the process?
Best of luck with everything! ❤️