He doesn't want you as a friend. He wants you as narcissistic fuel. He wants you around to use for whatever benefits you're willing to provide. He wants you to triangulate you with the people he cheated on you with 🤷🏾♀️
mine too was indignant and full of self pity when I said I didn't think we were really friends after being kicked around by him... he wants to have a window to my life and get my help or attention without even having to try hard in a relationship wthmewhen he said that I was The One, it, etc. naaaaah
"Nothing good comes from them." EXHIBIT A: My ex-H narcissist is now 67. I divorced his narcissistic, abusive ass 24 years ago. Since then, he has blown through life wrecking every relationship he had. Now, even our daughter won't speak to him, after he abused her kindness, generosity, and help finding a job. She used to adore him! His siblings think he's an idiot. He has no friends because they all had enough of his entitled, lazy ass. All his New Supplies, 3 since me, kicked him out, leaving him couch-surfing. He tried Hoovering back each time but was met with a solid *NO.* The only reason he is still alive today is his siblings begrudgingly gave him a roof over his head and a job in their companies -- of which he is sowing discord amongst the employees! They are ready to quit! *So today, he is alone, with nothing to show and no legacy to pass on after 67 years.* The Karma part of it? When he discarded me for a girl HALF MY AGE, he told me his greatest fear is being alone in his old age. 😂
So textbook. No, they never really change. It is sad for sure but for anyone who doesn’t think karma eventually catches up with these folks; it does. In the end, if they are lucky, they will end up with whomever is still willing to buy their sad stories - usually some long-suffering friend or family member. But they will NEVER stop looking for a better offer 🤦♀️
They do say karma is a dish best served cold. Great to know that these monsters reap what they sow hundredfold. They end up dying alone and unloved. They deserve nothing less. The only thing left to do then is tramp the dirt down.
Me ex did it to me 3 times while she was cheating on me for 10 months , so i totally discarded her from my life , changed my cell number , blocked that dead piece of meat from everything .. She did all kinds of unspeakable things to me all the while she kept on bragging how good of a Christian she was , always used God as her scapegoat , it was more than horrible I became so sick mentally physically , emotionally and spiritually …
In time you just become NUMB to all this C**P and can see right through them ,leave them and never return anymore. They do unfortunately make you very ill especially when you are fighting to keep your sanity to escape for good .
My mother got more and more abusive and aggressive as she saw me pulling away. This is where it gets extremely dangerous. EXTEMELY DANGEROUS Once you are targeted, you are forever their enemy! Get out, for Gods sake leave. 3 years no contact this month. So grateful God saved me! So grateful for you on utube.
He pushed me so far I collasped on the floor and all most passed out. He sat there looking at me blankly and said: If you do this again I will just leave you there and I wont give a sheet what happens to you....... He left me there on the floor in the dark for about 30 minutes. Sociopathic Narcissist revealed.
After a discard, blocking and no closure. I just recently had an indirect Hoover, smear and character assassination. I simply had the message relayed back "Thank you for the closure."
Great analogy to the battery, Joe! Fantastic description as always. So when the narcissist sees that you've built yourself back up again from the rubble they left you behind in - they essentially want to come and shatter that all over again?!!
My covert narc sister threatened suicide if I stopped talking to her and that kept me hoovered back in for 3 years. It’s been 6 months since I gathered the strength to walk away and began educating myself on toxic family dynamics and the affects of narcissistic abuse. And you know what? She’s still alive. And my quality of life has been light years better than it was when the year started. I sought therapy because I myself had serious thoughts of suicide as my only way out; I quit alcohol (which I abused horrendously just to freaking cope); got back into running and I lost a bunch of weight. I feel so much better in every way possible since I got out. Always walk away and *stay* away. They won’t change.
I look back now on what I went through w that narc and all his narc friends and it’s like I was in a bad mean horror movie. It was all emotional abuse and it was just plain mean of them. Adult bullies in their 50s. I do not miss any of them.
Unfortunately these ppl think in terms of transactions and its all for their self benefit only! Its quite ridiculous if you allow them to keep you held hostage. Run Away once you understand how this dis-ordered person works, its too negative and weird of a sitch to continue with, its not healthy.
Exactly on point Joe, thank you🙏🥰do they know they do this? Yes they think a 5 min kind act fixes it all. You have to start standing up for yourself, it was when I found some people in church,helped me come to the realization I was being abused. It was the angry rage that traumatized me. I just kept giving trying helping making life easier for him, very manipulative cruel, It’s so up and down daily you have no time to process, trying to stay emotionally even key. I saw myself going down, backwards, started holding back. When they push you to the point you have crying outbursts, or sudden fear for no reason, Or start shaking, afraid to talk. Rehearse how you can say something with few words quietly and walk away. If you don’t talk, they will pick on you all day until you are shaking, and just get angry yell back at them. 4 5 hours of you distract don’t say anything they will keep on chipping away at you. 😭🥵💔🙏
After going thru my own stuff with a narcissist, i see that my son is married to a narcissist. OmG hes so manipulated. Hes on such a short lease, we cant spend an hour together without her calling & texting constantly. Shes doubled down on him many. Now they arent speaking to me bc i didnt like her chili. Its the most ridiculous thing. 3 months of this. She cant manipulate me & she hates me for it
I brainwashed myself to have that selective amnesia in order to preserve the marriage. My religious beliefs reinforced my mindset to endure his abuse in hopes that God would change him. After 28 yrs I realized God won't force people to change if they don't want to. I've begun to withdraw myself and see him for the soul vampire he is.
Me and the narcissist have a kid together and I’m tired of the mind games I love my kid and some days I just feel like I don’t want to do it anymore co parenting with a narcissist is hell I don’t know what to do
It takes some time to get yourself bulletproof to their ways. Basically the goal is to know that 'they are the crazy one' and to learn that everything they say and do is a reflection of them and to not take it personally. It gets easier with time. I hope that helps a bit.
@@SuzkaMares hi, Yes thank you. I appreciate it. I was new to the NPD. I was discarded. During that time, I educated myself on NPD. I believe I broke the Trauma-Bond early before more harm was done. I was so hurt and disgusted by the discard, I got away and stayed away. But, I find He still reaches out. And He obviously feels guilty and tells Me he misses Me. But, I know the best decision is to stay away.
He doesn't miss you..he is hoovering you. The last supply has gone and now he is looking for supply from you. If you take him back he will abuse you worse than ever, they always do.
This is a painful process. I wish there was an easier way. You will become numb when you have been hurt so many times you will see through the lies and manipulation. Start tuning into the way they behave without taking it personally. They are the same with everyone.
❤excellent advice Joe..when we have paid attention, they really are an excellent resource for showing us how to shut down and detach ourselves in cold blood.❄️🥶🧊
Really soothing to listen to truth of feelings left over from actions of the narcissist. You've helped me long term of what I've felt along the way since break up a long time ago. Thank you for keeping me in line.
He wants to have me as a friend but doesn’t want to be a friend.
He doesn't want you as a friend. He wants you as narcissistic fuel. He wants you around to use for whatever benefits you're willing to provide. He wants you to triangulate you with the people he cheated on you with 🤷🏾♀️
@@CoachCreesh true but he’s not going to get it!
mine too was indignant and full of self pity when I said I didn't think we were really friends after being kicked around by him... he wants to have a window to my life and get my help or attention without even having to try hard in a relationship wthmewhen he said that I was The One, it, etc. naaaaah
@@jillevans4586 yep, same expérience. We are just an appliance.
*HE ISN'T GOING TO GIVE YOU HIS ATTENTION FOR FREE AND STOP FRIEND-ZONING ALL THOSE BETAS YOU HYPOCRITE.*
This video should be shown to kids in high school so that they don't fall for the "game".
Great video. Thanks for sharing😊
"Nothing good comes from them."
EXHIBIT A: My ex-H narcissist is now 67. I divorced his narcissistic, abusive ass 24 years ago. Since then, he has blown through life wrecking every relationship he had. Now, even our daughter won't speak to him, after he abused her kindness, generosity, and help finding a job. She used to adore him! His siblings think he's an idiot. He has no friends because they all had enough of his entitled, lazy ass. All his New Supplies, 3 since me, kicked him out, leaving him couch-surfing. He tried Hoovering back each time but was met with a solid *NO.* The only reason he is still alive today is his siblings begrudgingly gave him a roof over his head and a job in their companies -- of which he is sowing discord amongst the employees! They are ready to quit! *So today, he is alone, with nothing to show and no legacy to pass on after 67 years.* The Karma part of it? When he discarded me for a girl HALF MY AGE, he told me his greatest fear is being alone in his old age. 😂
So textbook. No, they never really change. It is sad for sure but for anyone who doesn’t think karma eventually catches up with these folks; it does. In the end, if they are lucky, they will end up with whomever is still willing to buy their sad stories - usually some long-suffering friend or family member. But they will NEVER stop looking for a better offer 🤦♀️
They do say karma is a dish best served cold. Great to know that these monsters reap what they sow hundredfold. They end up dying alone and unloved. They deserve nothing less. The only thing left to do then is tramp the dirt down.
Good luck breaking my boundaries at this point. 3 words for her Fort-Freaking-Knox.
And theirs is a brick-freaking-wall
Me ex did it to me 3 times while she was cheating on me for 10 months , so i totally discarded her from my life , changed my cell number , blocked that dead piece of meat from everything .. She did all kinds of unspeakable things to me all the while she kept on bragging how good of a Christian she was , always used God as her scapegoat , it was more than horrible I became so sick mentally physically , emotionally and spiritually …
In time you just become NUMB to all this C**P and can see right through them ,leave them and never return anymore.
They do unfortunately make you very ill especially when you are fighting to keep your sanity to escape for good .
My mother got more and more abusive and aggressive as she saw me pulling away. This is where it gets extremely dangerous. EXTEMELY DANGEROUS
Once you are targeted, you are forever their enemy!
Get out, for Gods sake leave.
3 years no contact this month.
So grateful God saved me!
So grateful for you on utube.
Can I ask how old you were when you figured it out? Do you have any siblings and were you able to help them see/escape?
This is so sad when children have to cut off parents
@@jilross4892the selfishness of the individual parent made that choice a long time ago
It was sad spending 53 years being abused, used and dumped by my parents, who I loved and trusted with all my heart 💛
He pushed me so far I collasped on the floor and all most passed out. He sat there looking at me blankly and said: If you do this again I will just leave you there and I wont give a sheet what happens to you....... He left me there on the floor in the dark for about 30 minutes. Sociopathic Narcissist revealed.
🕊❤️ RUN 🙏
After a discard, blocking and no closure. I just recently had an indirect Hoover, smear and character assassination. I simply had the message relayed back "Thank you for the closure."
Hi!☺️
@@SagittariusBabe87 Hi Sara...
Great analogy to the battery, Joe! Fantastic description as always. So when the narcissist sees that you've built yourself back up again from the rubble they left you behind in - they essentially want to come and shatter that all over again?!!
That’s their only skill set
My covert narc sister threatened suicide if I stopped talking to her and that kept me hoovered back in for 3 years.
It’s been 6 months since I gathered the strength to walk away and began educating myself on toxic family dynamics and the affects of narcissistic abuse.
And you know what?
She’s still alive.
And my quality of life has been light years better than it was when the year started. I sought therapy because I myself had serious thoughts of suicide as my only way out; I quit alcohol (which I abused horrendously just to freaking cope); got back into running and I lost a bunch of weight. I feel so much better in every way possible since I got out.
Always walk away and *stay* away. They won’t change.
Being used up is so true. Zero Battery Life Left. Despite the routine hoovers I'm just spent. Took about 9 months to get here.
Thank you Joe I needed to hear this. I was almost back ensnared 😢. But I made it out unscaved😅. Back to no contact😅
Or breadcrumb just to know you're still there.
That's what I did butttt to get back is loonnnggg journey back to reality.
Really good advice Joe, my narcissist calls me crazy since I have gone no contact
Seeing numbness and unresponsiveness as objectives is soooooooo counter-intuitive yet is the healthiest thing to do.
I look back now on what I went through w that narc and all his narc friends and it’s like I was in a bad mean horror movie. It was all emotional abuse and it was just plain mean of them. Adult bullies in their 50s. I do not miss any of them.
My ex is 52 and vicious. I'm 55 and an empath. She left. Not me.
Unfortunately these ppl think in terms of transactions and its all for their self benefit only! Its quite ridiculous if you allow them to keep you held hostage. Run Away once you understand how this dis-ordered person works, its too negative and weird of a sitch to continue with, its not healthy.
Exactly on point Joe, thank you🙏🥰do they know they do this?
Yes they think a 5 min kind act fixes it all.
You have to start standing up for yourself, it was when I found some people in church,helped me come to the realization I was being abused. It was the angry rage that traumatized me.
I just kept giving trying helping making life easier for him, very manipulative cruel, It’s so up and down daily you have no time to process, trying to stay emotionally even key.
I saw myself going down, backwards, started holding back.
When they push you to the point you have crying outbursts, or sudden fear for no reason, Or start shaking, afraid to talk. Rehearse how you can say something with few words quietly and walk away.
If you don’t talk, they will pick on you all day until you are shaking, and just get angry yell back at them.
4 5 hours of you distract don’t say anything they will keep on chipping away at you.
😭🥵💔🙏
After going thru my own stuff with a narcissist, i see that my son is married to a narcissist. OmG hes so manipulated. Hes on such a short lease, we cant spend an hour together without her calling & texting constantly. Shes doubled down on him many. Now they arent speaking to me bc i didnt like her chili. Its the most ridiculous thing. 3 months of this. She cant manipulate me & she hates me for it
I brainwashed myself to have that selective amnesia in order to preserve the marriage. My religious beliefs reinforced my mindset to endure his abuse in hopes that God would change him. After 28 yrs I realized God won't force people to change if they don't want to. I've begun to withdraw myself and see him for the soul vampire he is.
She got engaged 3 months after breakup and then hoovers me 2 weeks later on the 4th of july. Wtf?!
The minute my ex found out about me meeting and being with someone new, her toxicity quadrupled.
Me and the narcissist have a kid together and I’m tired of the mind games I love my kid and some days I just feel like I don’t want to do it anymore co parenting with a narcissist is hell I don’t know what to do
Gray rock. That's your answer.
Firm parenting plan, specific drop off location, only communicate in parenting app with text only, limit to 1x a week- don’t speak at drop off
I’m in the same situation
They " weaponize" parenting to get supply. check out H.G Tudors material.
Me too
This is very Wicked
Great video, thank u Joe ❤, greetings from Geman
Bzzzzt! 🎯
Ty 🕊️✨🙏🪽🫶
💫💛
LMAO
Can anyone please tell Me what are some ways or examples to allow yourself to be numb towards them??
It takes some time to get yourself bulletproof to their ways. Basically the goal is to know that 'they are the crazy one' and to learn that everything they say and do is a reflection of them and to not take it personally. It gets easier with time. I hope that helps a bit.
@@SuzkaMares hi, Yes thank you. I appreciate it. I was new to the NPD. I was discarded. During that time, I educated myself on NPD. I believe I broke the Trauma-Bond early before more harm was done. I was so hurt and disgusted by the discard, I got away and stayed away. But, I find He still reaches out. And He obviously feels guilty and tells Me he misses Me. But, I know the best decision is to stay away.
He doesn't miss you..he is hoovering you. The last supply has gone and now he is looking for supply from you. If you take him back he will abuse you worse than ever, they always do.
This is a painful process. I wish there was an easier way. You will become numb when you have been hurt so many times you will see through the lies and manipulation. Start tuning into the way they behave without taking it personally. They are the same with everyone.
@@christinedavis9977 okay, thank you for this. I appreciate you ☺️❤️❤️❤️
❤excellent advice Joe..when we have paid attention, they really are an excellent resource for showing us how to shut down and detach ourselves in cold blood.❄️🥶🧊
That's right Susie ✅ 👏 👌 💯
@@joebhouse 😘
Really soothing to listen to truth of feelings left over from actions of the narcissist. You've helped me long term of what I've felt along the way since break up a long time ago. Thank you for keeping me in line.