I'm thinking we should not lie to ourselves. They do exist and they did scam us. It is better to learn the lesson that was in it for our own betterment. Beauty for ashes.
Indifference is the ultimate F U to the narcissist because you just don’t care for them at that point. They would rather you hate them than be indifferent to them.
Yeah I have been on the receiving end of an ex indifferent to me, because I was too traumatized to recognize his love and now I can say looking back it cut so deep I would rather have them hate me, back then when it happened in 2013
If you're susceptible to the narc game, it means you're profoundly broken yourself. The greatest gift the narcissist gives you is the opportunity to face yourself and grow, something the narc cannot do himself.
Narcs have a god complex...They want to be God in your life, to be the center of everything...which is why they want you to need them...this is why satan was kicked outta heaven, pride comsumed him & his mission has always been to place all focus on him. He wants the same praise & worship as God gets from us...We can unconsciously make the narc the idol in our lives...And God says I will not have any other gods before me...
19 yrs of lies. 2 yrs of a divorce process. She's the biggest mistake I've ever made. But I do have 2 beautiful sons she gave me. That's priceless, and she's worthless.
I don’t look at my 20+ years (on&off) with a covert narcissist girlfriend as a big mistake. It was pro-level training on a subject I needed to learn and master. It’s virtually impossible to endure such a long relationship with a narcissist if you hadn’t already suffered similar abuse growing up without knowing. As nasty as their abuse was, be it unknown at the time, all of my biggest life accomplishments and discoveries came as a direct result of the decisions I made in the various discard aftermaths. I’m talking university degree, new career, travelling the world, a bunch of life changing chance meetings and introducing two couples to each other who both married and have children together now. On top of all that I have the knowledge and experience which I wouldn’t be without. The narcissist by contrast has nothing of lasting value from me. They became falsely empowered and confident in ways that were both superficial and short lived. Essentially they got the fast food effect that couldn’t fill them up and wasn’t effective on the kind of people who matter.
Praise the Lord, "being captivated" never happened. God was protecting me. It helped immensely that we had nothing in common, there was no attraction on my part, and there were glaring red flags from the start. Good advice implemented months ago. Don't waste energy contemplating the narcs. bad behavior. The narcissist will always garner new supply because they cannot breathe without it. Accept them for who they are and move on.
We would never tell someone who has been physically graped to just “move on”, so why does everyone say that to someone who has been emotionally, mentally & psychologically graped by one of these psychopaths??
Most people need to go through the grieving process, as though someone close to them has died because the narc as we knew them wasn't authentic, therefore the person we felt we knew DID due, along with our future life we them.
Lol he said I was too much...... 😅 I turned it up a notch I guess😅😅😅😅 I'm glad I did coz I had to stand up for myself. At least now he knows never to mess with me and of course he slithered into the darkness with his new toy.
Haha! Mine did to. I dont think I will ever see him again. He told me his life felt more calm without me😂 that is because he has calm in his life cause he now has a girl that accepts his stupid behaviour!
Same here! He said I was too much work. Which really equated to him needing an easier target that went along with the lies, deception, and manipulation. I could not be the submissive dumb ass he wanted! Bye Boy, I'm a complete independent grown woman!!! Who, by the way, added value to your boring life...IJS
It’s sounds like he was saying to himself something like I’m not enough not the other way around I was told my expectations were to high because I told him to get a job n learn to drive lmao
Indifference is great space to grow into, but I find one question that haunts me the most is this; What is it about me ( what’s within me) that allowed me to fall prey to this in the first place? What does that say about me? Why did I accept their shame when it was never mine to carry? That’s actually more than one question, but it’s all interconnected.
We had to learn the lesson-Pray Psalm 35 over your life. Keep getting educated. You will heal and overcome this life changing encounter. Know it's their demise.
Joe has a video answering this beautifully... The question haunted me as well when I felt like a fool, played and energetically and emotionally used - incapable of explaining what happened but feeling every sting of it every second of every day.. They're basically attracted to our light, our good vibrations, they thrive of that, deplete it for their own gain and almost destroy us in the process. We identify with qualities in them that is familiar to us, mostly unhealed childhood wounds, makes us vulnerable and acceptable (their projection - video about that too.) Trauma bonding is a red flag - makes us immensely addicted to them - what they want. All of those played a role in my situation. The answer is to heal and to educate yourself so that you can recognise red flags in the future. All done with respect for yourself and for others.
Yup. Why did we ever let this person into our orbit? Unhealed trauma is almost always the answer. Heal the trauma and the attraction to narcissists disappears (we have been trying to fix in others what we have not yet fixed in ourselves ie codependency) 🤔👍😊
@@dropintheocean9952 I can’t say I feel like some kind of beacon of light. Rather I feel like I need a shower or to be baptized for the second time in my life. Anything to just wash it all away. While that sounds wildly dramatic it does often feel like a permanent stain.
Yes to become indifferent is to getting our lives back, we need this for our own peace. If they feel hurt by that ? The hell with them , they deserve much worse then our indifference. Well done Joe !👍 Thank you ! 🤗❤
I remember my ex narc being jealous that me and my son were playing a card game...i even asked if he wanted to play. He was bothered that we were laughing and having fun and he wasnt the center of attention. Really pathetic behavior
I almost said something. After he hurt my daughter's feelings 😢. But I reframed. Because I know he thrives off of that. I am totally done with that demon.
I find one thing you do when healed is you just don’t play, you’re living your life and they get mad cos ur attention is no longer responding to trauma
Thank you Joe 😊 Really helpfull your videos. We need them espacially those who have recently been discarded
6 місяців тому+2
I was discarded 20 years ago and Im still not right. Just learned about narcissism and types of narcissists 2 months ago. My ex-wife was diagnosed with the personality disorder before we met. She didnt tell me. He mom cried hystericalky wben she told me about it .. when we found out we were going to have a baby. Her mom knew her! Told me inwas being used and her daughter cant be trusted, told me she manipulates, lies and cheats on everyone if her past boyfriends. I shrugged it all off and forgot about it. 5 years later I was cheated on 3 times and then discarded and divorced.
You may or may not know just how spiritual this principle really is. I can only equate it to science, finally discovering the existence of God! ❤ Thanks for being the " rational scientist " to my spirituality! 😊❤😮😮😮 Let's break out of the matrix 😎 together! Lol Whew, what a game the devil 😈 has foisted upon the unsuspecting. Who wants a red pill ?💊 I have a pocket full of them, or do you want to remain in the matrix? I have blue pills 💊 💙 for that, too! 😂😊😮
Thank you for your videos. They have really helped me through staying no contact. One thing that keeps popping into my head is that if they mirror me, then am I only ever going to fall head over heels with somebody just like myself? It's quite worrying...
I am laughing....as l just got a mail from him on holidays with he's girlfriend (who is lovely..God help her)...months later. No answer which is my mantra. Now.....how gross is that. Disgusting people
If you block the narcissist on social media do they receive narcissistic injury and feel ‘let go’ or do they get supply because they feel they hurt you so much you had to block them?
@@debbier9555 I respectfully disagree. A psychopath is aware(for the most part) and they can control their emotions. An untreated or unaware pwBPD cannot control their emotions. Even the quiet ones cause huge damage. Borderlines also have "type 2 psychopathy" which lurks in the background.
@@user-wz1sv3br1l agreed. But what if you’re hurting someone by your indifference who isn’t a narcissist?! Wouldn’t that make you narcissistic or at ‘least’ callous?
It doesn’t necessarily make one a narcissist. The narcissist feeds off of reactions from people that is why indifference is their kryptonite. A non narcissist being treated with indifference may find it hurtful but it’s not going to cause them injury to the same extent as will to the narcissist.@@sonofhibbs4425
I think the best thing to move on is to tell yourself they never ever existed.👈🏻
In a way this is also the truth. It was all a scam.
It was the damn devil making a strong visit into your world!!!
Pray Psalm 35 over your lives.....Let God handle your battle.
I'm thinking we should not lie to ourselves. They do exist and they did scam us. It is better to learn the lesson that was in it for our own betterment. Beauty for ashes.
@@Ikaros23 Yes, I understand what narcissism is, as well as the impact on it's supplier's. Still, ALWAYS best to face the whole truth.
Indifference is the ultimate F U to the narcissist because you just don’t care for them at that point. They would rather you hate them than be indifferent to them.
Yeah I have been on the receiving end of an ex indifferent to me, because I was too traumatized to recognize his love and now I can say looking back it cut so deep I would rather have them hate me, back then when it happened in 2013
If you're susceptible to the narc game, it means you're profoundly broken yourself. The greatest gift the narcissist gives you is the opportunity to face yourself and grow, something the narc cannot do himself.
Narcs have a god complex...They want to be God in your life, to be the center of everything...which is why they want you to need them...this is why satan was kicked outta heaven, pride comsumed him & his mission has always been to place all focus on him. He wants the same praise & worship as God gets from us...We can unconsciously make the narc the idol in our lives...And God says I will not have any other gods before me...
19 yrs of lies. 2 yrs of a divorce process. She's the biggest mistake I've ever made. But I do have 2 beautiful sons she gave me. That's priceless, and she's worthless.
I don’t look at my 20+ years (on&off) with a covert narcissist girlfriend as a big mistake. It was pro-level training on a subject I needed to learn and master. It’s virtually impossible to endure such a long relationship with a narcissist if you hadn’t already suffered similar abuse growing up without knowing. As nasty as their abuse was, be it unknown at the time, all of my biggest life accomplishments and discoveries came as a direct result of the decisions I made in the various discard aftermaths. I’m talking university degree, new career, travelling the world, a bunch of life changing chance meetings and introducing two couples to each other who both married and have children together now. On top of all that I have the knowledge and experience which I wouldn’t be without. The narcissist by contrast has nothing of lasting value from me. They became falsely empowered and confident in ways that were both superficial and short lived. Essentially they got the fast food effect that couldn’t fill them up and wasn’t effective on the kind of people who matter.
@@roberttruman8444exactly it made me such a great man
You should always be indifference once you figure them out. Never, ever go back. Their point is to bring you down. That’s a supply for them.
Unbelievable how evil they are
Praise the Lord, "being captivated" never happened. God was protecting me. It helped immensely that we had nothing in common, there was no attraction on my part, and there were glaring red flags from the start.
Good advice implemented months ago.
Don't waste energy contemplating the narcs. bad behavior. The narcissist will always garner new supply because they cannot breathe without it.
Accept them for who they are and move on.
We would never tell someone who has been physically graped to just “move on”, so why does everyone say that to someone who has been emotionally, mentally & psychologically graped by one of these psychopaths??
Most people need to go through the grieving process, as though someone close to them has died because the narc as we knew them wasn't authentic, therefore the person we felt we knew DID due, along with our future life we them.
Lol he said I was too much...... 😅 I turned it up a notch I guess😅😅😅😅 I'm glad I did coz I had to stand up for myself. At least now he knows never to mess with me and of course he slithered into the darkness with his new toy.
Haha! Mine did to. I dont think I will ever see him again. He told me his life felt more calm without me😂 that is because he has calm in his life cause he now has a girl that accepts his stupid behaviour!
Same here! He said I was too much work. Which really equated to him needing an easier target that went along with the lies, deception, and manipulation. I could not be the submissive dumb ass he wanted!
Bye Boy, I'm a complete independent grown woman!!! Who, by the way, added value to your boring life...IJS
It’s sounds like he was saying to himself something like I’m not enough not the other way around I was told my expectations were to high because I told him to get a job n learn to drive lmao
Indifference is great space to grow into, but I find one question that haunts me the most is this; What is it about me ( what’s within me) that allowed me to fall prey to this in the first place? What does that say about me? Why did I accept their shame when it was never mine to carry? That’s actually more than one question, but it’s all interconnected.
We had to learn the lesson-Pray Psalm 35 over your life. Keep getting educated. You will heal and overcome this life changing encounter. Know it's their demise.
Joe has a video answering this beautifully... The question haunted me as well when I felt like a fool, played and energetically and emotionally used - incapable of explaining what happened but feeling every sting of it every second of every day.. They're basically attracted to our light, our good vibrations, they thrive of that, deplete it for their own gain and almost destroy us in the process.
We identify with qualities in them that is familiar to us, mostly unhealed childhood wounds, makes us vulnerable and acceptable (their projection - video about that too.) Trauma bonding is a red flag - makes us immensely addicted to them - what they want.
All of those played a role in my situation. The answer is to heal and to educate yourself so that you can recognise red flags in the future. All done with respect for yourself and for others.
Yup. Why did we ever let this person into our orbit? Unhealed trauma is almost always the answer. Heal the trauma and the attraction to narcissists disappears (we have been trying to fix in others what we have not yet fixed in ourselves ie codependency) 🤔👍😊
@@dropintheocean9952 I can’t say I feel like some kind of beacon of light. Rather I feel like I need a shower or to be baptized for the second time in my life. Anything to just wash it all away. While that sounds wildly dramatic it does often feel like a permanent stain.
@@kerimorgan6665 light - just our positive qualities. Like Joy, innocence, spontaneity, peace.
Yes to become indifferent is to getting our lives back, we need this for our own peace. If they feel hurt by that ? The hell with them , they deserve much worse then our indifference. Well done Joe !👍 Thank you ! 🤗❤
I remember my ex narc being jealous that me and my son were playing a card game...i even asked if he wanted to play. He was bothered that we were laughing and having fun and he wasnt the center of attention. Really pathetic behavior
I almost said something. After he hurt my daughter's feelings 😢. But I reframed. Because I know he thrives off of that. I am totally done with that demon.
Pray Psalm 35 over your life.
Your videos are very good, your communication style is very easy to understand, thank you.
It really made me mad and I wanted to say something. I'm so glad I didn't .😊 Thank you Joe ❤
I find one thing you do when healed is you just don’t play, you’re living your life and they get mad cos ur attention is no longer responding to trauma
Thankyou 🙏🏻 you are such a big help in my healing process ❤️
How else are you healing? im having real trouble getting started. Ive been binge watching narcissist UA-cam videos for the last two months.
Thank you Joe 😊 Really helpfull your videos. We need them espacially those who have recently been discarded
I was discarded 20 years ago and Im still not right. Just learned about narcissism and types of narcissists 2 months ago. My ex-wife was diagnosed with the personality disorder before we met. She didnt tell me. He mom cried hystericalky wben she told me about it .. when we found out we were going to have a baby. Her mom knew her! Told me inwas being used and her daughter cant be trusted, told me she manipulates, lies and cheats on everyone if her past boyfriends. I shrugged it all off and forgot about it. 5 years later I was cheated on 3 times and then discarded and divorced.
Just make sure you really do it and don't pretend because they can tell
Those parasites get injured from almost anything
Thanks a lot Joe!🎉
I needed to be reminded of this❤
Thank you!
You may or may not know just how spiritual this principle really is. I can only equate it to science, finally discovering the existence of God!
❤ Thanks for being the " rational scientist " to my spirituality! 😊❤😮😮😮 Let's break out of the matrix 😎 together! Lol
Whew, what a game the devil 😈 has foisted upon the unsuspecting. Who wants a red pill ?💊 I have a pocket full of them, or do you want to remain in the matrix? I have blue pills 💊 💙 for that, too! 😂😊😮
Great work
Did grey rock during the last Hoover and showed indifference. It felt really good to disappoint him for a change.
Thank you for your videos. They have really helped me through staying no contact. One thing that keeps popping into my head is that if they mirror me, then am I only ever going to fall head over heels with somebody just like myself? It's quite worrying...
I am laughing....as l just got a mail from him on holidays with he's girlfriend (who is lovely..God help her)...months later. No answer which is my mantra. Now.....how gross is that. Disgusting people
Ty❤
If you block the narcissist on social media do they receive narcissistic injury and feel ‘let go’ or do they get supply because they feel they hurt you so much you had to block them?
The cycle of "friends,love, friends,in love, then "friends" again" Total cluster b bullshi*
Untreated borderlines are worse!
I believe psychopaths are considered the worst of Cluster B disorder.
@@debbier9555 I respectfully disagree. A psychopath is aware(for the most part) and they can control their emotions.
An untreated or unaware pwBPD cannot control their emotions. Even the quiet ones cause huge damage. Borderlines also have "type 2 psychopathy" which lurks in the background.
🔥🔥🔥🔥
Wouldn’t indifference hurt anyone let alone a narcissist?
Yes but for a narcissist it is worse.
@@user-wz1sv3br1l agreed. But what if you’re hurting someone by your indifference who isn’t a narcissist?! Wouldn’t that make you narcissistic or at ‘least’ callous?
It doesn’t necessarily make one a narcissist. The narcissist feeds off of reactions from people that is why indifference is their kryptonite. A non narcissist being treated with indifference may find it hurtful but it’s not going to cause them injury to the same extent as will to the narcissist.@@sonofhibbs4425
what if my indifference or care is left with no honest source of income? No idea what to do anymore.
get a job