Paula Morris hes dealing with true mental illness she most likely when she gets older will be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. she hits all the markers and categories almost perfectly. it’s really sad.
She's probably going to end up bpd with adjustment disorder... mom tries to treat her like the average teen but she's more sensitive and reactive. It's not the kids fault, but it's not mom's either - most parents don't have psych training
The mom looks like shes trying to hide her identity. She looks like shes someone else underneath those glasses and hair. Like maybe a man or something. She just looks awkward....and the daughter
She is 15, looks 12, and has relationships like a 25 year old art student in grad school. So much to unpack here. She's too young for this kind of behavior and drama....
Exactly. I have a 23 year old best girl friend who has gone through a lot breakups and I think it’s too much and too messy, and this girl is still in school😳
i don’t think she’s going to kill anyone like the comments are rushing to say, but she does seem at risk for suicide. people who can’t deal with their emotions properly and especially people who grow up in a neglective household tend to get very attached to anyone who gives them even a little bit of positive attention. i feel so bad. :(
I can’t help but laugh when 14 year old kids talk about being in a “relationship” lmao the only relationship I had at 14 was my imaginary one with the Backstreet Boys.
"if there was a competition between me and another girl, I don't think I'd win." that is so heartbreaking. You are worth so much, you are valued, you are loved!
this sounds like borderline personality disorder traits , (not a professional and can't diagnose) just as someone with BPD this sounds like some quite extreme symptoms of it. the fear of abandonment. the inability to be alone. the bursts of anger and lies. the scrambling to keep the person there. being so sensitive to the other person. the rules, to test whether the person will leave or not. she is too young to diagnose or know but I feel this may be possible in the future. I wish her the best x
i have diagnosed BPD too and i thought the exact same thing. sad how others think it's her fault for "dating so young" when there could be something else going on
I’m 21 and I remember classmates “dating” as early as 11/12 years old. It’s really the parents responsibility to create the boundaries for these relationships and withhold them, but unrealistic to to think that forbidding them to do so will do anything but make them sneakier.
Stop letting these children “date”, they are too young for the emotional roller coaster, they should be just having friends and keeping it simple and innocent.
You literally cannot control your child with these kind of things. If they are old enough to start having these kind of feelings, I'm sure they're old enough to date. Not all people her age act like that with relationships.
Restricting feelings will only lead to unhealthy relationships between parents and children. The best thing to do is teach teens and preteens how to choose good partners and correctly deal with emotions. I met my girlfriend when we were 13 and we maintained a healthy and serious relationship through middle and highschool, and had it transition into our adult lives because our parents taught us well and accepted our feeling for each other.
Hope she's doing well. She doesn't need to be dating right now. Love yourself first and then look for the person worthy of your love when you're ready for life.
Aw poor thing, she just has low self esteem. At least she’s had something lol I’m 22 and still haven’t had a bf. I really hope she can find love and peace in herself so she can get in a healthy relationship in the future.
This is what you get when you don't teach your children to love themselves!!!!! She should be too involved in her studies and activities that she doesn't have time to even think about a boyfriend!
michelle thomas people date at 14 and 15 are you a boomer or something? it’s normal all when i was growing up i had my first “”boyfriend”” mind the quotes, at like 12. of course she’s going to take it hard she’s not fully matured but it’s completely normal to experiment and explore relationships and dating as long as they don’t get too deep into it
@@xLCLIPx I'm dating someone and I'm 14 and a few days 15 but with who I'm with were happy, were rarely fight, and if we do we talk about it and see what we can change
when she said if she had competition she didn’t think she’d win, i really felt that.. i can say ive felt the same at one point and gone thru so many break ups all because of my own insecurities. how you feel about yourself REALLY matters when it comes to relationships.
Nope, she has some disorder. That's why she can't handle relationship. I know lots of adults who are like her. Lots of 14 years old teens, don't take relationships seriously and don't make it a big deal about breakups.
If you don't let your kid date then they are not going to tell you and they're going to do it in private and that's how you end up with pregnant 13 year olds who sneak out the house. Guess what my mom let me date at that age and I wasn't doing s***. Didn't lose my virginity until 17 and I married the guy so yeah. Every girl I knew who wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend was out there sleeping with everyone at a young age and never listened to their parents
@@myafield4039 Sorry, that's wrong. I know where my kids are 100% of the time, and its usually at home. IF they visit friends, I communicate with their parents, they're never without adult supervision.
Randee's World I hate to tell you this but children are very sneaky, you may think you know everything but stuff goes on at school that parents will never know, I know it might sound hard to believe but trust me, it’s the truth and mya is correct
@@Randeep-u7b that's great that works for you but for many parents it doesn't and they could have a relationship that you don't know about still it's just obvious they won't be able to hide it easily. I know my friends used to work around it by going to their friend's house and then having the dude come over and sneak into their friend's house at night or when the parents were at work. the couple that actually did follow their parents rules went completely crazy once they turned 18. since my mom allowed me to date I was always honest with her. my mom wasn't allowed to date when she was younger and she did a lot of things her parents wouldn't of approved of but never knew about because she felt like she couldn't talk to them about anything
"She was controlling" "She needed passwords to his phone" "He couldn't have female friends" "Faked a pregnancy & miscarriage" Elena: "I feel horrible that I didn't keep my boyfriends around... I totally believe it was my fault.." Ummm...sounds like it.
Well it just sounds like she’s a young girl, she isn’t mature enough to realize what she does is serious but she’ll learn... I mean like dr Phil said even if she did everything perfect it’s not likely she will grow up to marry him. She’s 15..
@@LE-jm4mz I'm 15, have dated before, and now what boundaries and privacy is. I've been in and out of relationships too but I know that my actions have consequences and I don't try and act like I did wasn't okay. But no, she's 15 and didn't know better. Yeah okay.
I was the same way. Relationships mean a lot to me and the controlling tendencies just came along with it. Hopefully she’ll grow out of it, my first break ups have made me into who I am now at 24. My first bad break up was at 14 too, and he cheated and left me for another girl after around 8 months. I really feel for this girl.
@@nicoleolivia8427 of course kids hide and sneek but parents set the standard. You tell them your stance and then go from there. Not turn around and support the foolishness.
It's interesting you say that because in the uk we don't have that "not allowed to date thing". I think this poor young lady's problems lie elsewhere and it's manifesting in this behaviour
Why would you hinder your child in it's growth? You cannot keep them from being hurt by relationships in the future - that would backfire tremendously. Either by doing it in secrecy (without ANY guidance) or perhaps by isolating, stunting her growth. Humans have the desire to form strong bonds. So does your child. Either way their relationship turns out, you're there to support. Without judgment - because that never helped anybody.
A huge pattern here is she’s very controlling. Wants their passwords, tells them they have to text her back instantly, that they can’t speak to another girl at all, and can’t have female friends. That’s not healthy and if she wants a successful relationship, she has to change that.
I mean I aint saying what she did was right, but I feel for her. As a teenager you fall harder than any other love because its the beginning of, "love" for someone.
M A idk I don’t see anything particularly wrong with it in certain cases. Some kids are really mature at that age and can handle it and some have parents have that know they date and help them out with that stuff. That’s an age where kids start exploring things. It’s not like they’re dating seriously and doing crazy stuff. It’s like innocent dating. People in my middle school “dated” and had “boyfriends” and “girlfriends” but it wasn’t like actual strong relationships it was cute puppy love or something like hey I like you and you like me let’s hold hands in the hall way and text all the time, rarely someone might get their first kiss then. In high school though freshman year it’s common and normal for people to possibly date at 14 and 15 years old especially if they have a September birthday and end up being 14 for most of the school year. It’s never super serious relationships but people start liking each other and stuff and staring asking people out after a couple months of school starting and some people may home know other people since middle school and finally get the courage to ask them out in high school. It’s not a bad thing to date at 14. You just have to be careful about it. it’s definitely normal and common there’s nothing really wrong with it unless there’s some kind of unsafe behaviors going on. There just has to be open dialogue with parents and kids instead of parents being overbearing and controlling. They should express concern and love just not in a way that make their kid feel trapped and locked up and not able to feel they have choices and need to hide things from them. As long as parent teach their kids healthy dating behaviors and monitor things going on with their kids relationships things are ok. It’s not like 14 year old having full fledged adult type relationships
honestly, as a 27 year old in my second "serious" relationship - i relate way too much with this girl, to the point that it scares me. when she says she's worried she's gonna "do something wrong" or "he'll lose interest" or "he's gonna like someone else" ...... i'm honestly surprised and scared that i relate so much. i try to think i'm aware of things i might "do wrong" or anything like that (in terms of being clingy, or needing constant reassurance, etc) and i try to constantly work on my self esteem, but the fact that i can relate to someone basically half my age in this subject is quite scary...
as someone with borderline personality disorder this really sounds like undiagnosed bpd to me. not trying to diagnose this girl but i can really see the signs
This poor baby girl needs love & acceptance sooo badly. LOVE YOUR DAUGHTERS! SHOW THEM & tell them how wonderful they are, & how much you love them. Lead by example. Fathers, especially....SO CRITICAL. Even if you are not with the mother of your child...BE THERE. It affects human beings so deeply when they do not feel loved & supported by both parents. Women WILL exhibit sexual issues in life.
This is a really good topic and I'm so glad Dr.phil choose to air this story because so many of my friends have this issue and it's never really discussed or taken as a serious problem because everyone downplays it as a teenage phase that they will just get over. And sometimes they do get over it but majority of the time they just repeat the same behavior in different relationships because of low self-esteem and end up damaging themselves AND their partner. I know it's cliche thing to say but to all the young girls out there who are going through a breakup, just know that it's okay. Life will go on and you're still young and full of potential. You will find real love someday but right now just focus on yourself find things that you enjoy and grow as a person. You got this. Stay strong.
Stacey Strukel no it’s not. It’s goes beyond parenting. It’s stems from life experiences and certain events. Parents don’t get a handbook. Borderline personality disorder isn’t commonly diagnosed and is normally diagnosed with other mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, bipolar, substance abuse and eating disorders. No parent is gonna know how to train a kids brain to think and feel a certain way about situations. For a lot of people it takes medication and a lot of CBT or DBT.
She's looks very beautiful. I wished that she wasn't that nervous on scene. She's brave to come to stage and confront the matters. It's so easy to judge upfront as these posters have done ...
I feel for her. Break ups are tough and they mess with your self esteem a lot of the time regardless of how level headed you normally all. Add in other mental health issues and I can see how a simple break up can send you over the edge. She needs a lot of therapy
Dr Phil is a genius. As a young girl without a relationship with her father i felt a lot of these feelings and if i saw this episode years ago I would have gone a long way
Well when you get one eventually, make sure you don’t have the same worries as this girl. And if you end up having them make sure you cut it off for your own mental health
So look like she is such a nice and caring person. She needs a boost of encouragement and I would love to give her some. Girl, you are worth it. Keep telling yourself that.
I see myself in this girl. I used to be this extreme (maybe SLIGHTLY less). Its taken so much work and trial and error learning. Im 21 and FINALLY getting to a spot where I’m secure and loving myself. This girl has to work on herself a lot and I wish her all the best.
If I were the daughter I would say no way to going on television with all of this. I can’t imagine when her classmates watched this video and then interact with her.
In a way it is a good thing. I had such breakdowns and many girls do but it’s considered something to be ashamed of and it is wrong. It happens, it can happen to anyone who’s having this kind of issues and some dont realize until it happens. So this could lead to the increase of sympathy towards girls like her
this is so so sad, i understand where she is coming from, i went a little nuts after i single handedly ruined my first "love" in high school. i embarrassed myself, acted a fool and had no idea how to deal with my insecurities and raging hormones. it was not easy and very cringe. BUT im glad i lived and learned that at age 16 instead of in my 20's.
Elena if you see this know, you are a beautiful young lady who needn't compete with other girls. You are unique and deserves to be loved. Don't set rules, let others prove their worth. Also you seem smart (look to be so too) focus on school and let boys chase you, take it slow... Best to you :)
Some people are so privileged they make their lives complicated. In my country, life is challenging so every success is celebrated and every winnings are not taken for granted. We become more appreciative and grateful for every good things in life.
Everyone Blaming this girl well she is depressed , she doesn’t know . She has low self esteem hence easily threatened . She needs more positivity and support not bashing .
Why isn’t her mother telling her about what is a functional healthy relationship? It is a parent’s job to help the kid deal with their emotions. You will not always like what situations you go through, but her mom shouldn’t attack her- but say- honey, this is not healthy. You need to understand that you are loved and special and a boy does not determine these things. Mom needs to have a conversation with psychologist or therapist do explain these behaviors and why they’re manipulative and toxic.
when a guy tell me to not to have male friends, needing passwords to my phone, and keep texting you instantly, and want to know where you were. That tells me that your insecure with your self and you don't trust me. when someone controlling and manipulating you it can be VERY dangerous.
The major problems I see is 1: these kids too young to have a relationship let alone handling and dealing with break ups. 2: this particular little girl had a very low self-esteem. A person who has no confidence always very controlling and not fun to be with.
The real problem is that she has some disorder. It can be borderline personality disorder or something. She's not too young to date. She's too mentally "unstable" to date. I've met adults who are like her. She's not a child. She's a teen. Most teens her age, don't take relationships seriously and don't care about breakups that much. Yes, she has low self-esteem. That's why her mother should've helped her.
Her last line is so sad. I don’t date because I know I’m like this, not the controlling part but the part about the minute you catch feelings all of a sudden fearing losing them so you start worrying nonstop, become almost a servant to them and their needs, going from confident like you were when single to all of a sudden very insecure. I know mine stems from my past abusive relationship so now rejection from people who are healthy and nice and loving is just hard for me, because mh mind instantly goes to “it’s because you don’t deserve that” when I know I do. Since she’s so young makes me wonder if she had an abusive or emotional neglected childhood :( I hope dr Phil helped this young woman out becsuse there’s no worse pain than the one you mentally inflict on yourself ❤️🫶
Without strong maternal and paternal influences in your life, there's no way to prepare yourself for the reality of being an adult. With out good role models how do you comprehend how to act? My heart goes out to this girl, she wasn't given the tools to deal with life and rejection and relationships.
Um phil, why would she compete with another girl for a dude if the dude is already her boyfriend? If you have to compete for something that is yours, is it really yours? Wtf
When I was 14 I was trying hard to get my butterfly hair clips in different styles and trying to convince my mom to allow me to stay up on a school night passed 9pm 🤷🏽♀️
@@caitlin3524 same.. I was trying to do the little twisty things on my head and clip em in haha boys still had cooties 😂😂😂 it blows my mind how today is..my 7 year old talks like an adult..the other day he was telling me about DNA splicing😂😂
“If there was a competition between me and another girl I don’t think I’d win” that’s so sad to hear.
Yes
Ikr
So sad 😞
Fr
At least she's saying the truth!
My only rule in a relationship is “never do ANYTHING that you wouldn’t want your partner to do”
Bruh I'd give my gf a massage even if I didn't want one
Sgt.LMAO 😂I didn’t really mean that you have to forcefully get a massage 😅 I meant more like “would I be okay with my partner doing this or not?”
Yeah I know ^-^. I was just thinking that you have to be cognisant of the fallacies that might come with wording things that way ;)
Or never do anything you wouldn't do in front of your partner
good rule
This is like the calmest Dr. Phil has ever been
Paula Morris hes dealing with true mental illness she most likely when she gets older will be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. she hits all the markers and categories almost perfectly. it’s really sad.
Cause she young and not her self
Raging Phil
This is how a therapist should act normally he is a jackass who would be struck off for his antics
cuz she’s a little girl in adult situations
She learned it from her mom. Self destructive behavior comes from being shamed by the parent.
Not necessaraly as dr Phil said it has a lot to do with the relationship with the father
She's probably going to end up bpd with adjustment disorder... mom tries to treat her like the average teen but she's more sensitive and reactive. It's not the kids fault, but it's not mom's either - most parents don't have psych training
Absolutely! The way the mother speaks about her is awful.
That's not always true.
@@bluelight8664 as well
She looks like the stereotypical nerd in ever late 90s/early 2000s movie or sitcom.
Lilly Rose she’s all that “psycho edition”
Velma from Scooby Doo!
The mom looks like shes trying to hide her identity. She looks like shes someone else underneath those glasses and hair. Like maybe a man or something. She just looks awkward....and the daughter
Elysa nice one you are so original
Shes very cute.
She is 15, looks 12, and has relationships like a 25 year old art student in grad school. So much to unpack here. She's too young for this kind of behavior and drama....
Right.....kinda sad
I mean like-if it’s her first one it’s fine -
Exactly. I have a 23 year old best girl friend who has gone through a lot breakups and I think it’s too much and too messy, and this girl is still in school😳
I thought she was at least 16. Ngl
Sounds like she's borderline.
My heart shattered at her last sentence 😔😔
Shannon Carlow mine too
@Kaylie Hogan yes. dating is all bs. im 14 and young teen relationships are just messy and seem eawkward
Hit me right in the heart
Not mine lol
Same
"If I had competition with another girl I dont think I would win "
I felt that.
i don’t think she’s going to kill anyone like the comments are rushing to say, but she does seem at risk for suicide. people who can’t deal with their emotions properly and especially people who grow up in a neglective household tend to get very attached to anyone who gives them even a little bit of positive attention. i feel so bad. :(
Kill someone?🤣🤣 she can't even deal with someone leaving her.😂
@@cheekboy7247 exactly pfft
Exactly this is a girl with BPD symptoms and her mom is just like “let’s go on dr Phil!”. She needs a real psychiatrist and love.
@@bartekdabrowski4007 what
It’s so sad. I hope she gets mentally healthy.
I can’t help but laugh when 14 year old kids talk about being in a “relationship” lmao the only relationship I had at 14 was my imaginary one with the Backstreet Boys.
Honestly though . Makes me giggle. None of this is serious at all. It won't matter in a few years.
@strawberry jam Me too!! Howie D ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Looooool right like can you imagine blasting it on dr phil too? 😳
Aline .S omg he was my favorite too!! No joke! 😂
@@StrawberryJam806 no way! He's mine !! 🤣🤣🤣
"if there was a competition between me and another girl, I don't think I'd win." that is so heartbreaking. You are worth so much, you are valued, you are loved!
this sounds like borderline personality disorder traits , (not a professional and can't diagnose) just as someone with BPD this sounds like some quite extreme symptoms of it. the fear of abandonment. the inability to be alone. the bursts of anger and lies. the scrambling to keep the person there. being so sensitive to the other person. the rules, to test whether the person will leave or not. she is too young to diagnose or know but I feel this may be possible in the future. I wish her the best x
i have diagnosed BPD too and i thought the exact same thing. sad how others think it's her fault for "dating so young" when there could be something else going on
Same. Also have it and this was me at her age to an extent.
Okay why this sounds like me? ! Omfg😥💔
exactly what i thought
i have bpd too and i thought the same thing
This is why people don’t let their children “date”. She’s fifteen.
Exactly. She's a child. She's not mature enough to handle a relationship.
Most people start around 15
I’m 21 and I remember classmates “dating” as early as 11/12 years old. It’s really the parents responsibility to create the boundaries for these relationships and withhold them, but unrealistic to to think that forbidding them to do so will do anything but make them sneakier.
It won’t be easy at any age ? You think grown ups down have same issues ?
@Reciful Raven I was too until HS... Homeschooling Gets you nothing
Stop letting these children “date”, they are too young for the emotional roller coaster, they should be just having friends and keeping it simple and innocent.
You can’t force a kid not to date anyone. They will find a way. And I’m doing so, you teach your kid to hide things from you.
Ok boomer
You literally cannot control your child with these kind of things. If they are old enough to start having these kind of feelings, I'm sure they're old enough to date. Not all people her age act like that with relationships.
Restricting feelings will only lead to unhealthy relationships between parents and children. The best thing to do is teach teens and preteens how to choose good partners and correctly deal with emotions. I met my girlfriend when we were 13 and we maintained a healthy and serious relationship through middle and highschool, and had it transition into our adult lives because our parents taught us well and accepted our feeling for each other.
@@rileygent6225 exactly!
She’s a cute girl who seems to be very sensitive. She’s young. Give her another 2 years and she’ll be juggling these guys. She’s just young and naïve.
Maloree Thank you for this sweet comment! She’s doing really really well, back in her original high school, thriving!
Hope she's doing well. She doesn't need to be dating right now. Love yourself first and then look for the person worthy of your love when you're ready for life.
Maloree she is mentally unstable
@@doomcriticalzx6554 😂😂
She’s a psycho bruh. Faking pregnancies at 15. In 2 years when a guy breaks up with her she’ll just kill him
I wanna hug her so bad! Hang in there little momma
teresa duffy Shes doing really well! Back in regular school and thriving.
She's cute as a button! Any boy would be lucky to have her! The video talking about why she reacts this way was fantastic.
MD 0912 Who are you?
Sounds like a brat to me.
Corin Hall definitely. She needs a little tough love
She’s so cute, she just needs support and self esteem!
And a couple of years to mature but yeah I agree. She seems sweet.
Noe Montoya she also needs to learn not to be dependent on boys and boyfriend-girlfriend relationships
And a mother whose not abusive
Noe Montoya Self esteem does not exist
Only another teenage girl would look at this sociopathic train wreck of a child and call it cute. 😬
why does a child need to have a boyfriend.
This is a good mother. She saw, noticed and took action seemingly quickly for her daughter.
When she said "if there was a competition between me and another girl. I dont think I'd win" it broke my heart! I felt that soo deep
Aw poor thing, she just has low self esteem. At least she’s had something lol I’m 22 and still haven’t had a bf. I really hope she can find love and peace in herself so she can get in a healthy relationship in the future.
Dating a boy is literally like looking after a damn child ITS ANNOYING
@@skullcrusher5424 not always. Depends on the person.
This is what you get when you don't teach your children to love themselves!!!!! She should be too involved in her studies and activities that she doesn't have time to even think about a boyfriend!
She is way too young to be dating!
michelle thomas people date at 14 and 15 are you a boomer or something? it’s normal all when i was growing up i had my first “”boyfriend”” mind the quotes, at like 12. of course she’s going to take it hard she’s not fully matured but it’s completely normal to experiment and explore relationships and dating as long as they don’t get too deep into it
Nope, most 14 years old teens do date but they don't make a big deal about breakups.
Nah
@@isabellamarie4626 that’s how kids get pregnant 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
@@xLCLIPx I'm dating someone and I'm 14 and a few days 15 but with who I'm with were happy, were rarely fight, and if we do we talk about it and see what we can change
when she said if she had competition she didn’t think she’d win, i really felt that.. i can say ive felt the same at one point and gone thru so many break ups all because of my own insecurities. how you feel about yourself REALLY matters when it comes to relationships.
How is a child having “serious relationships”? This is so strange.
Weird
not really 😕
This is why you shouldn't be dating that young. She's a child trying to deal with adult problems.
Nope, she has some disorder. That's why she can't handle relationship. I know lots of adults who are like her. Lots of 14 years old teens, don't take relationships seriously and don't make it a big deal about breakups.
Omg why is she allowed to date at 14/15. The mom's face is making me angry.
Who are these parents who let their kids date at 14 anyways?!!
If you don't let your kid date then they are not going to tell you and they're going to do it in private and that's how you end up with pregnant 13 year olds who sneak out the house. Guess what my mom let me date at that age and I wasn't doing s***. Didn't lose my virginity until 17 and I married the guy so yeah. Every girl I knew who wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend was out there sleeping with everyone at a young age and never listened to their parents
@@myafield4039 lol wtf... Only a control freak would try to prevent their high school kid from dating.
@@myafield4039 Sorry, that's wrong. I know where my kids are 100% of the time, and its usually at home. IF they visit friends, I communicate with their parents, they're never without adult supervision.
Randee's World I hate to tell you this but children are very sneaky, you may think you know everything but stuff goes on at school that parents will never know, I know it might sound hard to believe but trust me, it’s the truth and mya is correct
@@Randeep-u7b that's great that works for you but for many parents it doesn't and they could have a relationship that you don't know about still it's just obvious they won't be able to hide it easily. I know my friends used to work around it by going to their friend's house and then having the dude come over and sneak into their friend's house at night or when the parents were at work. the couple that actually did follow their parents rules went completely crazy once they turned 18. since my mom allowed me to date I was always honest with her. my mom wasn't allowed to date when she was younger and she did a lot of things her parents wouldn't of approved of but never knew about because she felt like she couldn't talk to them about anything
"She was controlling"
"She needed passwords to his phone"
"He couldn't have female friends"
"Faked a pregnancy & miscarriage"
Elena: "I feel horrible that I didn't keep my boyfriends around... I totally believe it was my fault.."
Ummm...sounds like it.
She will die if she ever finds out my porn collection.
Well it just sounds like she’s a young girl, she isn’t mature enough to realize what she does is serious but she’ll learn... I mean like dr Phil said even if she did everything perfect it’s not likely she will grow up to marry him. She’s 15..
The girl is creepy
@@LE-jm4mz I'm 15, have dated before, and now what boundaries and privacy is. I've been in and out of relationships too but I know that my actions have consequences and I don't try and act like I did wasn't okay. But no, she's 15 and didn't know better. Yeah okay.
People don’t like to be controlled. Trust and communication r key
And now nobody will ever want to date her after going on National TV
I was the same way. Relationships mean a lot to me and the controlling tendencies just came along with it. Hopefully she’ll grow out of it, my first break ups have made me into who I am now at 24. My first bad break up was at 14 too, and he cheated and left me for another girl after around 8 months. I really feel for this girl.
She could have. Bpd
I had the same intense reactions to small things and fell very fast.
Letting your 14 year old date is the first problem. The mom caught an L on that one.
Drayonis if the mom doesn’t let her date, she will just hide it from her mom. You can’t stop teens from doing what they want really.
@@nicoleolivia8427 of course kids hide and sneek but parents set the standard. You tell them your stance and then go from there. Not turn around and support the foolishness.
It's interesting you say that because in the uk we don't have that "not allowed to date thing". I think this poor young lady's problems lie elsewhere and it's manifesting in this behaviour
@@livywoodward8666 you speak for every person in the UK?
Why would you hinder your child in it's growth? You cannot keep them from being hurt by relationships in the future - that would backfire tremendously. Either by doing it in secrecy (without ANY guidance) or perhaps by isolating, stunting her growth.
Humans have the desire to form strong bonds. So does your child. Either way their relationship turns out, you're there to support. Without judgment - because that never helped anybody.
This is why we must be a role model for our children and to teach them how to "lose" with grace and dignity.
“Edna Mode....””No Capes!”
Jking she is a pretty young woman. Hope she got better.
To be honest she does look like edna from the Incredibles.
I don’t even see the Urge and point to have one -And I’m in high school .
Sounds like Borderline Personality Disorder to me
A huge pattern here is she’s very controlling. Wants their passwords, tells them they have to text her back instantly, that they can’t speak to another girl at all, and can’t have female friends. That’s not healthy and if she wants a successful relationship, she has to change that.
I mean, she’s 15... what did they expect? She’s hormonal and so young
I mean I aint saying what she did was right, but I feel for her. As a teenager you fall harder than any other love because its the beginning of, "love" for someone.
And her parents didn't show her any so she looked for it elsewhere
It’s not love it’s lust. You don’t have the capacity to love at 14, because love is more than just a feeling.
@@nickgivens6378 I mean........ you have had so much experience being a 14 yo girl...
@@nickgivens6378 exactly!
Zoe Dulce you're right
When I was her age, I was still playing knock and run 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃
When I was 14 my best friends included my chair, my tv, and my lovely ps2
As someone who also has BPD, I'm really glad dr.phil is doing this episode
BattleRoyale Babe I literally just said to myself this is BPD. I haven’t even finished the episode yet.
@@kaitlync.5079 She doesn't need to be diagnosed. She needs self esteem and comforting and attention from her parent(s).
Rammster Damm If she has BPD then, yes, she needs to be diagnosed to be properly treated. Coming from someone with BPD.
It’s so weird that people are commenting about how 14 is too young to start dating. That’s normal......lol
I wouldn't say that's normal
Mike Earnest it’s high school people do that. Freshman year people start dating if they want to. I didn’t but some do.
It Iscommon, ,but it is not normal. And shouldn't be normalized
@@malloryjackson5770 exactly. Well said.
M A idk I don’t see anything particularly wrong with it in certain cases. Some kids are really mature at that age and can handle it and some have parents have that know they date and help them out with that stuff. That’s an age where kids start exploring things. It’s not like they’re dating seriously and doing crazy stuff. It’s like innocent dating. People in my middle school “dated” and had “boyfriends” and “girlfriends” but it wasn’t like actual strong relationships it was cute puppy love or something like hey I like you and you like me let’s hold hands in the hall way and text all the time, rarely someone might get their first kiss then. In high school though freshman year it’s common and normal for people to possibly date at 14 and 15 years old especially if they have a September birthday and end up being 14 for most of the school year. It’s never super serious relationships but people start liking each other and stuff and staring asking people out after a couple months of school starting and some people may home know other people since middle school and finally get the courage to ask them out in high school. It’s not a bad thing to date at 14. You just have to be careful about it. it’s definitely normal and common there’s nothing really wrong with it unless there’s some kind of unsafe behaviors going on. There just has to be open dialogue with parents and kids instead of parents being overbearing and controlling. They should express concern and love just not in a way that make their kid feel trapped and locked up and not able to feel they have choices and need to hide things from them. As long as parent teach their kids healthy dating behaviors and monitor things going on with their kids relationships things are ok. It’s not like 14 year old having full fledged adult type relationships
She is too young to date. Come back to the dating scene at 20
I wonder if shes passing at school.. she should be focused with school books not boyz 😒
Lerato Machaba okay boomer
she has straight A's lol
Lerato Machaba yes but often people peak physically in their teens so that's often why people really want this at that age
Cause school is what life is all about huh
I know girls who focused on school and hate everything now cause that’s what they spent their life on
honestly, as a 27 year old in my second "serious" relationship - i relate way too much with this girl, to the point that it scares me. when she says she's worried she's gonna "do something wrong" or "he'll lose interest" or "he's gonna like someone else" ...... i'm honestly surprised and scared that i relate so much. i try to think i'm aware of things i might "do wrong" or anything like that (in terms of being clingy, or needing constant reassurance, etc) and i try to constantly work on my self esteem, but the fact that i can relate to someone basically half my age in this subject is quite scary...
yeah but that’s actually not super uncommon in relationships
@@user-lz5nd8lh8b i know but it concerns me that it might get to an unhealthy point. i just don’t know how to change it
@@mirameyer9118 i suppose you’re right
real
It's so rare to see a gentle, calm and delicate female guest sitting on Dr Phil huge chairs.
as someone with borderline personality disorder this really sounds like undiagnosed bpd to me. not trying to diagnose this girl but i can really see the signs
What she needs is a lot hugs.
I’ve been there with my daughter. It’s no joke. An absent father is the main cause of this, it’s not her fault by no means. Much love to her ❤️❤️❤️
I hope this girl has managed to get some help.
This poor baby girl needs love & acceptance sooo badly. LOVE YOUR DAUGHTERS! SHOW THEM & tell them how wonderful they are, & how much you love them. Lead by example. Fathers, especially....SO CRITICAL. Even if you are not with the mother of your child...BE THERE. It affects human beings so deeply when they do not feel loved & supported by both parents. Women WILL exhibit sexual issues in life.
Story of my life. I'm always rejected.
I've been in a relationship where the girl was exactly like her. Same rules and everything. Was definitely difficult.
She’s a doll and once she figures out her worth no boy will be able to break her heart!! Keep your head up sweet girl and let that inner light shine!
This is a really good topic and I'm so glad Dr.phil choose to air this story because so many of my friends have this issue and it's never really discussed or taken as a serious problem because everyone downplays it as a teenage phase that they will just get over. And sometimes they do get over it but majority of the time they just repeat the same behavior in different relationships because of low self-esteem and end up damaging themselves AND their partner. I know it's cliche thing to say but to all the young girls out there who are going through a breakup, just know that it's okay. Life will go on and you're still young and full of potential. You will find real love someday but right now just focus on yourself find things that you enjoy and grow as a person. You got this. Stay strong.
I went through the same thing. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder....
Borderline personality disorder is from toxic parenting
Stacey Strukel no it’s not. It’s goes beyond parenting. It’s stems from life experiences and certain events. Parents don’t get a handbook. Borderline personality disorder isn’t commonly diagnosed and is normally diagnosed with other mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, bipolar, substance abuse and eating disorders. No parent is gonna know how to train a kids brain to think and feel a certain way about situations. For a lot of people it takes medication and a lot of CBT or DBT.
I was thinking the same thing, BPD and she needs DBT bad!!!
Lots of controlling and manipulative going on here from both sides. Seems off to me
She's looks very beautiful. I wished that she wasn't that nervous on scene. She's brave to come to stage and confront the matters.
It's so easy to judge upfront as these posters have done ...
I feel for her. Break ups are tough and they mess with your self esteem a lot of the time regardless of how level headed you normally all. Add in other mental health issues and I can see how a simple break up can send you over the edge. She needs a lot of therapy
Dr Phil is a genius. As a young girl without a relationship with her father i felt a lot of these feelings and if i saw this episode years ago I would have gone a long way
Dude I’m older than her and I still haven’t had a bf rip
Boys are dumb anyways
Same
Well when you get one eventually, make sure you don’t have the same worries as this girl. And if you end up having them make sure you cut it off for your own mental health
Thomas Jack Potter. Love the advice 🤙🏻
Green Tea, I am 20 and still haven’t got any 🐈. To make things ever more pathetic I live in Brazil. Here it is way more easier to relate to people.
I like that we’ve become wholesome enough that Dr Phil is comfortable leaving his comment section open
So look like she is such a nice and caring person. She needs a boost of encouragement and I would love to give her some. Girl, you are worth it. Keep telling yourself that.
I see myself in this girl. I used to be this extreme (maybe SLIGHTLY less). Its taken so much work and trial and error learning. Im 21 and FINALLY getting to a spot where I’m secure and loving myself. This girl has to work on herself a lot and I wish her all the best.
If I were the daughter I would say no way to going on television with all of this. I can’t imagine when her classmates watched this video and then interact with her.
In a way it is a good thing. I had such breakdowns and many girls do but it’s considered something to be ashamed of and it is wrong. It happens, it can happen to anyone who’s having this kind of issues and some dont realize until it happens. So this could lead to the increase of sympathy towards girls like her
Hoping you get better, girl💙
Honey you cant have an actual relationship at 15.
18+ is where they start getting serious lol
I dont think shielding her from the problem is the greatest thing...she needs a support system and coping mechanisms
this is so so sad, i understand where she is coming from, i went a little nuts after i single handedly ruined my first "love" in high school. i embarrassed myself, acted a fool and had no idea how to deal with my insecurities and raging hormones. it was not easy and very cringe. BUT im glad i lived and learned that at age 16 instead of in my 20's.
Shes SCREAMS.... “ Amanda please! “ .. if you know, you know
Elena if you see this know, you are a beautiful young lady who needn't compete with other girls. You are unique and deserves to be loved. Don't set rules, let others prove their worth. Also you seem smart (look to be so too) focus on school and let boys chase you, take it slow... Best to you :)
Teach your daughters and son's self worth and this will not happen.
I am so glad I didn't date in high school.
Damacia Johnson maybe I didn't miss much
That's not the problem. Most Highschoolers don't care about breakups that much. But she has some disorder. That's why she can't handle relationship.
Some people are so privileged they make their lives complicated. In my country, life is challenging so every success is celebrated and every winnings are not taken for granted. We become more appreciative and grateful for every good things in life.
Poor old soul trapped in a kids body
Heather Lee what’s so hard to understand
Why because she has the mental instability of a 40 y old triple widow?
Feel really bad for this kid, hope shes doing alright now
God I’m 15 and man things dr Phil says to these kids is amazing ❤️
dr.phil kinda looks like sheriff from mr.pickles
STTTTTOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPP 😂😂😂😂
NOOOO LOL
@@simplynessa15 I keep imagining her on rollerblades 🤣🤣
Damn, sorry Elena I hope you're ok right now :(
Everyone Blaming this girl well she is depressed , she doesn’t know . She has low self esteem hence easily threatened . She needs more positivity and support not bashing .
She's created toxic and unhealthy situations for guys she's been with. Are those reasons really a free ticket to let them go scott-free?
Her last sentence was deep...felt
here's y they broke up,
boyfriend: Im cheating on u with Joe.
her: Whos Joe?
Boyfriend:*chuckles*
: JOEMAMA!
Ishmam Chowdhury *runs out of the room* “mom I hate you *
Hee hee hee dork 😉
Comedy gold.
Ded mem
She’s a child, why is her mum allowing her to be hurt this way??! Poor girl. These situations are far too mature for her 😞
Why isn’t her mother telling her about what is a functional healthy relationship? It is a parent’s job to help the kid deal with their emotions. You will not always like what situations you go through, but her mom shouldn’t attack her- but say- honey, this is not healthy. You need to understand that you are loved and special and a boy does not determine these things.
Mom needs to have a conversation with psychologist or therapist do explain these behaviors and why they’re manipulative and toxic.
This is one of those girls you stay clear of. Serious issues!
Poor thing. She has to grow and learn her worth.
She looks like Velma from Scooby-Doo 😂😭
Jinkies!
when a guy tell me to not to have male friends, needing passwords to my phone, and keep texting you instantly, and want to know where you were. That tells me that your insecure with your self and you don't trust me. when someone controlling and manipulating you it can be VERY dangerous.
The major problems I see is
1: these kids too young to have a relationship let alone handling and dealing with break ups.
2: this particular little girl had a very low self-esteem. A person who has no confidence always very controlling and not fun to be with.
The real problem is that she has some disorder. It can be borderline personality disorder or something. She's not too young to date. She's too mentally "unstable" to date. I've met adults who are like her. She's not a child. She's a teen. Most teens her age, don't take relationships seriously and don't care about breakups that much. Yes, she has low self-esteem. That's why her mother should've helped her.
If some guy decides he wants another girl, let him go and say good riddance. He obviously isn't right for you. Just move on and forget about him.
Producer:Tell me about the second guy you dated
The girl:Hehehe *sniff sniff* *snorts* , sorry *snorts*
this is why i hate dating... too controlling even if it’s on accident
Her last line is so sad. I don’t date because I know I’m like this, not the controlling part but the part about the minute you catch feelings all of a sudden fearing losing them so you start worrying nonstop, become almost a servant to them and their needs, going from confident like you were when single to all of a sudden very insecure. I know mine stems from my past abusive relationship so now rejection from people who are healthy and nice and loving is just hard for me, because mh mind instantly goes to “it’s because you don’t deserve that” when I know I do. Since she’s so young makes me wonder if she had an abusive or emotional neglected childhood :( I hope dr Phil helped this young woman out becsuse there’s no worse pain than the one you mentally inflict on yourself ❤️🫶
Without strong maternal and paternal influences in your life, there's no way to prepare yourself for the reality of being an adult. With out good role models how do you comprehend how to act? My heart goes out to this girl, she wasn't given the tools to deal with life and rejection and relationships.
Um phil, why would she compete with another girl for a dude if the dude is already her boyfriend? If you have to compete for something that is yours, is it really yours? Wtf
This little girl takes small children relationships so seriously
Exactly
When I was 14 I was making cookies in my easy bake oven..make cookies sweetie.
Tara Dactule, oh man, same here!
When I was 14 I was trying hard to get my butterfly hair clips in different styles and trying to convince my mom to allow me to stay up on a school night passed 9pm 🤷🏽♀️
@@caitlin3524 same.. I was trying to do the little twisty things on my head and clip em in haha boys still had cooties 😂😂😂 it blows my mind how today is..my 7 year old talks like an adult..the other day he was telling me about DNA splicing😂😂
🤣🤣🤣 yes!!!
@@nerdylady9942 😂😂😂😂