5 Reasons People-Pleasers are Indecisive
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- Опубліковано 31 тра 2024
- Transformational Program: Roadmap to Joy and Authentic Confidence: www.awakenjoy.life/roadmap
As a people-pleaser, you may find yourself struggling with making decisions. In this video we talk about 5 reasons why this happens and how we can make decisions to prioritize our own needs.
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This video was created by Barbara Heffernan, LCSW for educational purposes only. These videos are not diagnostic and provide no individual consultation. Consumption of these materials is for your own education and any medical, psychological, or professional care decisions should be made between you and your primary care doctor or another provider that you are engaged with. Barbara Heffernan is not available for individual consultation via UA-cam, social media, or email, and provides services only in the manner mentioned above.
☀️☀️CHAPTERS☀️☀️
0:00 5 Reasons people-pleasers are often indecisive
1:21 Focus on making others happy
2:52 Misguided view of selfishness
5:39 Wanting everyone to like you
6:44 Lost touch with what you need
8:52 Understanding your values
10:33 What makes decision-making hard?
I used to be a people pleaser because I wanted people to like me. I have epilepsy which isn’t able to be controlled with AEDs as it’s structural, I have heart conditions, PTSD, depression, GAD and various other anxiety issues related to my health. I fit daily and my life is limited. I need to feel in control because my health is not controllable. I logically understand that I can’t control much save for what I eat, drink, what time I get ready for sleep.
When I had a meltdown and developed agnosia and aphasia and didn’t understand the world around me, my brain was frustratingly opaque, I stopped being a people pleaser. I had to put myself first to protect me and to an extent others because they were frustrated. I stopped speaking because it was the easiest method of coping. It needed an acute pacemaker infection to help me speak but not to a significant degree. All this and previous abusive relationships helped me be more “me”. I was taught to be a people pleaser and I do want the people I like to like me. However I can’t control that. I have noticed the people who like people pleasers, have not wanted to be friends and that’s alright. We can’t please all of the people all of the time.
This is very much me. My mother is a narcissist and it was always about her, focusing on her…you nailed everything on the head. I did watch your rewire your brain webinar and that was very helpful. Thank you for what you do! 😊
I am so glad the webinar was helpful for you! Thanks for watching.
Yet again, you have pinned me like an insect. I appreciate the time you take to develop such top quality content. At the same time, much of it hits very close to home. One of the great dilemmas in life is that we cannot transport our adult selves back in time in order to protect ourselves as children.
Your image made me smile - definitely don’t want to pin anyone like an insect 🤣 but thanks for letting me know it hits home! I agree we can’t transport back, but sometimes caring for our inner child now can really help :)
Thank you Barbara.
You helped me find more insight into myself.
In fact, I have to let it sink in for a while because it makes me aware of how much work I will have. Right now it feels like a completely new puzzle.
.. 🤔.. now I realize you actually helped more than I thought. Maybe I need to think further... I'll let it sink in first :)
Thank you!! ❤🙏🙏
I ised to be like this sooo bad. I've been doing some work on myself abd learning about how my childhood affected me as an adult. I'm doing better everyday.
That is so wonderful to hear!
I hate being a people pleaser. Hate more that I can't really stop it...
This is definitely me. I want to stop doing it and start putting msyelf first but in my head putting myself first is selfish. Any chance you do a video on self-belief please?
I love how easy and simple you explain things & your tone is very soothing. Thank you for your content!
You are so welcome! Thanks for taking the time to let me know :)
Everything about this video is spot on! Thank you for explaining it so clearly. I’ve wondered for a while if I’m a people pleaser… I’m very indecisive. I think this confirms that I am!
You are very welcome and I truly hope this is helpful!