BTW, I'm attending an ADHD Adults UK workshop on rejection sensitivity dysphoria with Dr Alex Connor (not for professional purposes, purely for my own healing 😅) on August 18th, if you're interested - www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/adhd-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-workshop-with-dr-alex-conner-online-tickets-927277039587
For me it's more the absence of recognising my strengths or downplaying my achieve etc, I don't feel any dislike of myself as such. I do wonder if it's tied to poor working memory, as if our achievements don't register so we don't fully 'learn' that we are good at things and people like us. I don't feel or think that people dislike me, but neither assume the opposite, it's almost a neutral thing but is obviously still a problem. I wonder if there's a way to 'learn' to love ourselves, in the same way we can learn other skills etc. Ps I think your content is super amazing and interesting, very well presented and edited and insightful, you're also super hilarious. Keep doing what you're doing as long as its rewarding for you!
@@andrewdavies2640 Thank you!!! And yes, totally agree with you on the poor working memory. I'll have moments where I have a crisis of confidence, then write down or remind myself of all the things I've done and be like 'woah, i'm a genius' haha then rinse and repeat that cycle weekly (sometimes daily 🤣) Love what you say about a skill we can learn - that creates such a sense of hope. And if there's one things ADHDers tend to be good at it - it's learning new stuff!
Yep yep I’m always expecting conflict and majority of the time I’m proven wrong. So I conversate with myself and say,”see your overreacting” but my adhd brain resets itself to rejection over and over. It’s exhausting and you’re not alone.
Rachel, your courage in addressing rejection sensitivity head-on is truly commendable! Your insights and strategies are sure to inspire and empower many. 🌟👏
This has been a constant in my life. "Why would anyone want to talk to me, be my friend, etc. when I wouldn't want to?" The preconceived rejection is strong.
I experience the same but without the actual negative feeling towards myself like at the end of your comment. It's not necessarily a negative feeling about myself, but rather the absence of self esteem/recognition of my good points.
I can empathize. While I wouldn't characterize what happened to me as sabotage per se, rejection sensitivity was definitely part of the reason I left my successful career. Without getting into too much detail, it was a creative field, but I was beholding to the costumer / client and their ideas. So when I'd suggest something, it would often be the case that the client rejected it in favor of their bland, uninspired idea. When I WAS given more freedom, the project turned out spectacularly (3 awards to my name). Problem was the bad experiences outweighed the good...the constant butting of heads and rejection became too much.
I just joined! Thank you for your openness and honesty in your videos and your coaching. This video resonates so much, I am my biggest road block these days but it seems the antidote is to just "do stuff". You're a bright light in this world, keep shining 🌠
I totally can relate to this. A friend of mine said I should do patreon and that was almost two years ago - I now have over double the subs but can't convince myself to do that or memberships. I already think people are being charitable just watching my stuff. Well done you for doing it! 👍
I had a RSD trigger from my husband. I shut down and froze for three weeks, completely emotionally deregulated to the point of basically thinking the only solution was divorce.... completely irrational but unable to move on from it at all. It's terrifying as people can't understand because explaining it is so hard, that visceral feeling of being completely unwanted. ........ because a plan changed ! Feel you 110%
This conflict between logic and action is so amazing, i pondered on it throughout my whole life. This is why sometimes we might seem so confident and unconfident at the same time. Kudos to you for being brave and doing what you know is right even if it does'nt feel brave or like an achievemant at the moment. Trough actions like this, which accumulate over time, we grow torwards the person we want to be. Love your videos =)
I love your refreshing honesty and vulnerability, you have the strength, like you said you’ve come so far and are doing things now that you weren’t a year ago ❤
I've started my Patreon about 4 years ago (maybe more? idk...) and, among other things, this pervasive dreadful, visceral as you say, feeling of guilt, shame, like I'm scamming people, impostor syndrome... has eventually turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy. I didn't know I had ADHD at a time (diagnosed just 3-4 months ago with a strong suspicion I might also have autism somewhere in the mix due to my rigidity and inflexibility which constantly clash with my impulsivity and "free flow" behavior) and, to be honest, my YT channel has been an integral part of my multi-year temporary ADHD hyperfixation. So, while my fear that I won't be able to do the work I promised to my Patreon members eventually turned out to be true, I wonder if things would turn out different if I was more honest with myself and accepted that I have this weird negative sensation about monetizing my channel in a way that I did and that, somewhere deep down, I knew right away that I'm not being authentic with myself and then, as a consequence, with the rest of the world either. Now I'm scrambling to pick up the pieces. Your videos about shame and the futility of trying to force myself into something I truly don't have a heart for (at least not any more, or not at this moment/period of my life) describe this whole year of 2024 for me. The part about feeling trapped by my own self resonated with me more than anything else at the moment. But, I'm still hopeful I'll pull myself out of this depressive, emotional rut. I did it before in my own ways, not even being aware or accepting the extent of mental health issues I'm actually struggling with. I can most likely do it now too.
ADHD + BPD here. I can relate to the rejection sensitivity and recently gained a new perspective, while whacking reviews on Evangelion, lol. 😁 Asuka, in particular. My rejection sensitivity stems from a strong fear of rejection. I mean FEAR. In my theory, "normal people" with rejection sensitivity may feel guilt or shame first, and fear second. For me, fear of rejection/abandonment is the most basic thing, not sequential. If BPD tests it, he/she will be stoned or will find out it's true 100% of the time. Even if BPD wasn't rejected he'll feel like it and steer things in that direction. BPDs struggle with their sense of self, so negative comments can make them believe what they say is true. They have no strong opinion or can't reconnect with it at times, leading to freaking out and acting irrationally. Yes, it's confusing. Out of fear of rejection, I can become ruthless and reject everyone and everything around me instead. That's an irony 😂 That's why I don't do teaching, coaching, acting, etc.: these involve personal interactions where people expect strong opinions and input, while I expect input from others to regulate my emotions. It's also why I don't date, lol. This that understanding, I kinda use it for my benefit, I guess. I focus on my own thing, and if others want to join, that's fine. But then I prefer people to have their own opinions and agendas rather than clinging to me with endless questions. Of course, I would happily help and interact, but if instructions are unclear, I ignore them altogether and go back to my thing. If someone expects me to guide them and can't decide for themselves, and if I hop on that interaction, I'll be dysregulated and ruthless. So, I wait until they make up their mind, and then we can talk. In social gatherings, I can just follow the crowd. Another irony is, because of BPD things I don't want to be the center of attention ever, but I often do, thanks to ADHD 💀 Donno if it helps or not, honestly, but I learned a ton of things over time bc of that.
Hi Rachel, Thanks a TON for this video. As always, it's timely and spot on. I give language classes online, and 2 days ago I increased my prices for 2 students by 5 euros, letting them know about the upcoming change via text. None of them have replied yet, and I've been feeling quite unsettled for 2 days. I rationally explained to myself that it's not such a huge increase, that I communicated it 1.5 months in advance, that I told them what other options we have should the change not be economically feasible for them and so on and so forth. But I've still been feeling down, to the point where I went to bed yesterday feeling mildly depressed and slightly disappointed in life and myself. And it's only after watching your video that I realized - I'm expecting 2 rejections (them telling me that my lessons are not worth the price and how on earth could I have thought I could be asking for such money etc etc) and my body just can't handle it! What therapy would you consider for yourself to work around this, if I may ask? P. S. Lol, I wrote the comment before you even mentioned money! You’re even using the same kind of language :D (”how could I possibly…”) By the way, I think it’s your videos (and not those of bigger ADHD UA-camrs) that got me thinking real deep about the possibility I might have ADHD and ultimately led me to seeking the diagnosis, so your content has had a huge impact on at least one life :)
Thank you for sharing. I tooootally understand everything you're saying here. And thank you for your kind words on impact - hugs! I'm not sure re: therapy yet, something to think about. But I must say, I feel like sharing this video and getting lovely responses like this has healed me a little bit already, so I'm feeling hopeful it can get better.
I already feel everything before I even watch the video 😂 I struggle with exactly the same stuff and wanted to do a similar video, but didn't know where to start.
This is how I feel quite often. Like exactly, especially the way you rambled about it. Its like you were my inner monologue personified. I'm even spending 10 minutes rewriting this comment because I don't you to read it negatively and then trigger your RSD because then that would make me feel hella guilty and trigger my RSD. Crazy world we create for ourselves
totally relate. my fears of being rejected, being seen as wrong, being seen as a bad person, etc keep me from doing many things. when the rejection sensitivity is triggered, its like i lose control of my body. my logical brain knows that i did the right thing or that even if i fucked up its not that big of a deal, but the emotional side of my brain is in fight or flight mode 100% juiced up and freaked out. so frustrating and discourgaing. especially knowing that i cant control that reaction, it just happens. i spent a year or so trying to get to a 'core memory' that perhaps originated this trauma that has caused my people pleasing and rejection sensitivity (so i could process it and move on). but i found that this wound goes back all the way to my earliest memories. ive been like this as long as ive been alive probably. this made me feel very powerless because if i cant remember the memory to process it then wtf do i do? but ultimately i think its just about slowly getting better, experiencing pain and then realizing i survived it, and slowly bit by bit rewiring my brain (hopefully). ❤
Thank you sooo much for sharing. And I know what you mean about trying to find that core memory. I have lots to say about this (I'm writing it into a book actually 🤣) but in the essence of keeping it short - I think you're right re: experiencing pain, realising we can survive it and slowly rewiring it. Have you watched Inside Out 2? I watched it today and oh my, I feel like it's weirdly healing around how we can find acceptance and joy in the face of core beliefs that fracture our sense of self.
So happy you are back! I've missed your videos. This video is very relatable. Would love to hear more from you about it. If isolating yourself due to a fear of rejection was a club, I'd be in it. Keep on posting, you are doing great stuff!
Thank you! Ooh there's a lot more I could say on the topic, and voicing it and getting lovely comments like this is already feeling healing. So THANKYOUUU
So, I have another comment: I am slowly overcoming my fear of taking money by running a community on skool for 12 USD/month. Just to prove to myself that I can do it. And you took the first, important step, too. Oh Gosh, how can we struggle with rhe exact thought at the same time? It's spooky. I empathize so much, but at the same time, I believe that we can overcome this by trying out stuff and also learn, that "failure" and/or "rejection" doesn't mean the end of the world.
Yes Simone!! I totally understand this, and well done to you for taking the step too. We can do this! I think its some kind of conflict between our current brain and primitive fear brain- that helps me feel a bit better about it anyway 😊
Though come to think of it, I also think it's worh appreciating how far you've come. In this video I'm talking about fear around charging for content but actually I've come suuuuch a long way in feeling okay charging for my coaching services. Cause I've seen it work and help people - so I think this is all about making the unknown known to ourselves so it doesn't seem scary anymore!
Interesting question! I think I do have a need for recognition and validation, but in recent years I don't see this as shame related - I see it as rewarding and motivational. It's weird, after doing this video I realised that actually my sense of confidence is very separate from this. I now actually feel confident and believe in myself - but the RSD train seems to just derail me from the sidelines in an uncontrollable way sometimes 😅
I’ve often hoped I would find someone who looks at me like the way my dog does. 😂😂😂 I do have a serious question though, I got diagnosed privately but then lost my insurance before starting the titration period, so now I’m back on the NHS and in my area the wait is 7 years :-( is medication really as effective as it seems?
haha this is one of the reasons I'm pretty certain a dog will solve all my problems 🤪 Well I thought that until I looked after a friends puppy for 10 days recently and realised how all consuming it is. Meds wise - this is a biiig question beyond what I can type here. But i'm releasing an update video on meds next month so look out for that 👀
Not many folks on here talk about money openly, but having some sales income to cover time writing, editing working the algorithm is a reasonable ask. 'Not Selling Out' is an indulgence for rich teenagers. Real people need to eat. Nate from 80/20 Drummer has a similar personality style and has found a good way to promote his services without making a big thing about it?
If your sensitivity is around charging money for content... Is it possible there's a conflict with your ideals about your content? Is your vision to have outreach that ISN'T paywalled? Is there there something about paywalls that you just feel are morally questionable when it involves folks who are struggling? Just some thoughts - I don't know you well enough to give the answer and I don't mean to influence you in any direction. I wish you the best of luck! :)
Thanks for this question - an important thing to consider I think! And something I've been swishing around in my head since I read it. The short answer (to save writing an essay 🤣) is no - I don't think there's a conflict buuut what this has helped me realise is that the worry I do have is around my intentions and values being misperceived by others. But I guess the thing to learn here is we can't control others perceptions of us!
There are things I work on with my customers, that I don't seem to be able to with myself. This is one of the things. I often work with young people who feel like they can't do something, or school/parents etc have said they can't. I don't know if it is possible to always close off those emotions, or if we have to find some way to feel them and live anyway. Sometimes with my Customers, we will imagine and picture all the worst possible things that can happen (that they will be imagining anyway). Shine a torch on those monsters. Sometimes it does work for them to have a plan A, but also a plan B and a plan C, and feel ok with plan C. That way IF the worst happens, there are still options and a whole box of tools as safety blankets. I started writing this MASSIVE comment that was becoming a book, then decided to stop lol, but I could go on.
BTW, I'm attending an ADHD Adults UK workshop on rejection sensitivity dysphoria with Dr Alex Connor (not for professional purposes, purely for my own healing 😅) on August 18th, if you're interested - www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/adhd-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-workshop-with-dr-alex-conner-online-tickets-927277039587
It would be good if you could do a video review of this event as I would attend but am on holiday with the family.
For me it's more the absence of recognising my strengths or downplaying my achieve etc, I don't feel any dislike of myself as such. I do wonder if it's tied to poor working memory, as if our achievements don't register so we don't fully 'learn' that we are good at things and people like us. I don't feel or think that people dislike me, but neither assume the opposite, it's almost a neutral thing but is obviously still a problem. I wonder if there's a way to 'learn' to love ourselves, in the same way we can learn other skills etc. Ps I think your content is super amazing and interesting, very well presented and edited and insightful, you're also super hilarious. Keep doing what you're doing as long as its rewarding for you!
@@andrewdavies2640 Thank you!!! And yes, totally agree with you on the poor working memory. I'll have moments where I have a crisis of confidence, then write down or remind myself of all the things I've done and be like 'woah, i'm a genius' haha then rinse and repeat that cycle weekly (sometimes daily 🤣) Love what you say about a skill we can learn - that creates such a sense of hope. And if there's one things ADHDers tend to be good at it - it's learning new stuff!
Yep yep I’m always expecting conflict and majority of the time I’m proven wrong. So I conversate with myself and say,”see your overreacting” but my adhd brain resets itself to rejection over and over. It’s exhausting and you’re not alone.
Saaaaame
Oof yes, I feel that!
Rachel, your courage in addressing rejection sensitivity head-on is truly commendable! Your insights and strategies are sure to inspire and empower many. 🌟👏
“Actually what is the feeling? I don’t really know what the problem is” is me 24/7 😭😂
This has been a constant in my life. "Why would anyone want to talk to me, be my friend, etc. when I wouldn't want to?" The preconceived rejection is strong.
I experience the same but without the actual negative feeling towards myself like at the end of your comment. It's not necessarily a negative feeling about myself, but rather the absence of self esteem/recognition of my good points.
I can empathize. While I wouldn't characterize what happened to me as sabotage per se, rejection sensitivity was definitely part of the reason I left my successful career. Without getting into too much detail, it was a creative field, but I was beholding to the costumer / client and their ideas. So when I'd suggest something, it would often be the case that the client rejected it in favor of their bland, uninspired idea. When I WAS given more freedom, the project turned out spectacularly (3 awards to my name).
Problem was the bad experiences outweighed the good...the constant butting of heads and rejection became too much.
Thank you for sharing - yes, it's a lot to contend with!
I just joined! Thank you for your openness and honesty in your videos and your coaching. This video resonates so much, I am my biggest road block these days but it seems the antidote is to just "do stuff". You're a bright light in this world, keep shining 🌠
Ohhh Jon, this is beautiful and thank you so much for joining - so pleased to have you, yayyyyyy! WE CAN DO THIS.
omg this is also the first time i've seen a custom emoji in action 🤣 wait, I need to work out how to use them myself harhar
I totally can relate to this. A friend of mine said I should do patreon and that was almost two years ago - I now have over double the subs but can't convince myself to do that or memberships. I already think people are being charitable just watching my stuff.
Well done you for doing it! 👍
I had a RSD trigger from my husband. I shut down and froze for three weeks, completely emotionally deregulated to the point of basically thinking the only solution was divorce.... completely irrational but unable to move on from it at all. It's terrifying as people can't understand because explaining it is so hard, that visceral feeling of being completely unwanted.
........ because a plan changed !
Feel you 110%
Thank you for sharing. I'm right here with you! 🫶🏻
This conflict between logic and action is so amazing, i pondered on it throughout my whole life. This is why sometimes we might seem so confident and unconfident at the same time. Kudos to you for being brave and doing what you know is right even if it does'nt feel brave or like an achievemant at the moment. Trough actions like this, which accumulate over time, we grow torwards the person we want to be. Love your videos =)
I love your refreshing honesty and vulnerability, you have the strength, like you said you’ve come so far and are doing things now that you weren’t a year ago ❤
Thank you so much!!
I've started my Patreon about 4 years ago (maybe more? idk...) and, among other things, this pervasive dreadful, visceral as you say, feeling of guilt, shame, like I'm scamming people, impostor syndrome... has eventually turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I didn't know I had ADHD at a time (diagnosed just 3-4 months ago with a strong suspicion I might also have autism somewhere in the mix due to my rigidity and inflexibility which constantly clash with my impulsivity and "free flow" behavior) and, to be honest, my YT channel has been an integral part of my multi-year temporary ADHD hyperfixation.
So, while my fear that I won't be able to do the work I promised to my Patreon members eventually turned out to be true, I wonder if things would turn out different if I was more honest with myself and accepted that I have this weird negative sensation about monetizing my channel in a way that I did and that, somewhere deep down, I knew right away that I'm not being authentic with myself and then, as a consequence, with the rest of the world either.
Now I'm scrambling to pick up the pieces. Your videos about shame and the futility of trying to force myself into something I truly don't have a heart for (at least not any more, or not at this moment/period of my life) describe this whole year of 2024 for me. The part about feeling trapped by my own self resonated with me more than anything else at the moment.
But, I'm still hopeful I'll pull myself out of this depressive, emotional rut. I did it before in my own ways, not even being aware or accepting the extent of mental health issues I'm actually struggling with. I can most likely do it now too.
ADHD + BPD here. I can relate to the rejection sensitivity and recently gained a new perspective, while whacking reviews on Evangelion, lol. 😁 Asuka, in particular.
My rejection sensitivity stems from a strong fear of rejection. I mean FEAR. In my theory, "normal people" with rejection sensitivity may feel guilt or shame first, and fear second. For me, fear of rejection/abandonment is the most basic thing, not sequential. If BPD tests it, he/she will be stoned or will find out it's true 100% of the time. Even if BPD wasn't rejected he'll feel like it and steer things in that direction.
BPDs struggle with their sense of self, so negative comments can make them believe what they say is true. They have no strong opinion or can't reconnect with it at times, leading to freaking out and acting irrationally. Yes, it's confusing. Out of fear of rejection, I can become ruthless and reject everyone and everything around me instead. That's an irony 😂
That's why I don't do teaching, coaching, acting, etc.: these involve personal interactions where people expect strong opinions and input, while I expect input from others to regulate my emotions. It's also why I don't date, lol.
This that understanding, I kinda use it for my benefit, I guess. I focus on my own thing, and if others want to join, that's fine. But then I prefer people to have their own opinions and agendas rather than clinging to me with endless questions. Of course, I would happily help and interact, but if instructions are unclear, I ignore them altogether and go back to my thing. If someone expects me to guide them and can't decide for themselves, and if I hop on that interaction, I'll be dysregulated and ruthless. So, I wait until they make up their mind, and then we can talk. In social gatherings, I can just follow the crowd.
Another irony is, because of BPD things I don't want to be the center of attention ever, but I often do, thanks to ADHD 💀 Donno if it helps or not, honestly, but I learned a ton of things over time bc of that.
The point is: look at the bigger picture and what other things your rejection sensitivity tied to. May help ❤
Thank you sooo much for sharing this. I really appreciate it, it's got me thinking about it in a new/ different way.
Hi Rachel,
Thanks a TON for this video. As always, it's timely and spot on.
I give language classes online, and 2 days ago I increased my prices for 2 students by 5 euros, letting them know about the upcoming change via text.
None of them have replied yet, and I've been feeling quite unsettled for 2 days. I rationally explained to myself that it's not such a huge increase, that I communicated it 1.5 months in advance, that I told them what other options we have should the change not be economically feasible for them and so on and so forth. But I've still been feeling down, to the point where I went to bed yesterday feeling mildly depressed and slightly disappointed in life and myself.
And it's only after watching your video that I realized - I'm expecting 2 rejections (them telling me that my lessons are not worth the price and how on earth could I have thought I could be asking for such money etc etc) and my body just can't handle it!
What therapy would you consider for yourself to work around this, if I may ask?
P. S. Lol, I wrote the comment before you even mentioned money! You’re even using the same kind of language :D (”how could I possibly…”) By the way, I think it’s your videos (and not those of bigger ADHD UA-camrs) that got me thinking real deep about the possibility I might have ADHD and ultimately led me to seeking the diagnosis, so your content has had a huge impact on at least one life :)
Thank you for sharing. I tooootally understand everything you're saying here. And thank you for your kind words on impact - hugs! I'm not sure re: therapy yet, something to think about. But I must say, I feel like sharing this video and getting lovely responses like this has healed me a little bit already, so I'm feeling hopeful it can get better.
Stay strong keep positive keep going!
Thank you!!
YESSSSS!!!! You took that puppy OUT!!!! 🐶 🎉
I already feel everything before I even watch the video 😂 I struggle with exactly the same stuff and wanted to do a similar video, but didn't know where to start.
Thanks for being here and empathising! 🫶🏻
@@rachdoesyoutube for sure! You are not alone in this 💚
This is how I feel quite often. Like exactly, especially the way you rambled about it. Its like you were my inner monologue personified. I'm even spending 10 minutes rewriting this comment because I don't you to read it negatively and then trigger your RSD because then that would make me feel hella guilty and trigger my RSD. Crazy world we create for ourselves
Ohh I have so many more things to say about second hand / empathy rejection sensitivity, one for another video I think!
totally relate. my fears of being rejected, being seen as wrong, being seen as a bad person, etc keep me from doing many things. when the rejection sensitivity is triggered, its like i lose control of my body. my logical brain knows that i did the right thing or that even if i fucked up its not that big of a deal, but the emotional side of my brain is in fight or flight mode 100% juiced up and freaked out. so frustrating and discourgaing. especially knowing that i cant control that reaction, it just happens.
i spent a year or so trying to get to a 'core memory' that perhaps originated this trauma that has caused my people pleasing and rejection sensitivity (so i could process it and move on). but i found that this wound goes back all the way to my earliest memories. ive been like this as long as ive been alive probably. this made me feel very powerless because if i cant remember the memory to process it then wtf do i do? but ultimately i think its just about slowly getting better, experiencing pain and then realizing i survived it, and slowly bit by bit rewiring my brain (hopefully). ❤
Thank you sooo much for sharing. And I know what you mean about trying to find that core memory. I have lots to say about this (I'm writing it into a book actually 🤣) but in the essence of keeping it short - I think you're right re: experiencing pain, realising we can survive it and slowly rewiring it. Have you watched Inside Out 2? I watched it today and oh my, I feel like it's weirdly healing around how we can find acceptance and joy in the face of core beliefs that fracture our sense of self.
@@rachdoesyoutube I have not seen that movie haha but I will check it out!
And yeah those core beliefs are very difficult to rewire 🙃
I relate to this thought process a lot. I haven't yet taken the plunge to make videos.
So happy you are back! I've missed your videos.
This video is very relatable. Would love to hear more from you about it.
If isolating yourself due to a fear of rejection was a club, I'd be in it.
Keep on posting, you are doing great stuff!
Thank you! Ooh there's a lot more I could say on the topic, and voicing it and getting lovely comments like this is already feeling healing. So THANKYOUUU
@@rachdoesyoutube literally adore your commentary and relate to it so much, thank YOU!
So, I have another comment: I am slowly overcoming my fear of taking money by running a community on skool for 12 USD/month. Just to prove to myself that I can do it.
And you took the first, important step, too.
Oh Gosh, how can we struggle with rhe exact thought at the same time? It's spooky. I empathize so much, but at the same time, I believe that we can overcome this by trying out stuff and also learn, that "failure" and/or "rejection" doesn't mean the end of the world.
Yes Simone!! I totally understand this, and well done to you for taking the step too. We can do this! I think its some kind of conflict between our current brain and primitive fear brain- that helps me feel a bit better about it anyway 😊
Though come to think of it, I also think it's worh appreciating how far you've come. In this video I'm talking about fear around charging for content but actually I've come suuuuch a long way in feeling okay charging for my coaching services. Cause I've seen it work and help people - so I think this is all about making the unknown known to ourselves so it doesn't seem scary anymore!
Rachel,.do you have the need for recognition and validation that comes with shame? Or is it just RSD?
Interesting question! I think I do have a need for recognition and validation, but in recent years I don't see this as shame related - I see it as rewarding and motivational. It's weird, after doing this video I realised that actually my sense of confidence is very separate from this. I now actually feel confident and believe in myself - but the RSD train seems to just derail me from the sidelines in an uncontrollable way sometimes 😅
Is the membership thing turned off again? I can’t find the button!
Oh weird, it should still be visible! - Try going here: ua-cam.com/channels/7Tqroeu-oDKXUPrOF7ETug.htmljoin
I’ve often hoped I would find someone who looks at me like the way my dog does. 😂😂😂 I do have a serious question though, I got diagnosed privately but then lost my insurance before starting the titration period, so now I’m back on the NHS and in my area the wait is 7 years :-( is medication really as effective as it seems?
haha this is one of the reasons I'm pretty certain a dog will solve all my problems 🤪 Well I thought that until I looked after a friends puppy for 10 days recently and realised how all consuming it is. Meds wise - this is a biiig question beyond what I can type here. But i'm releasing an update video on meds next month so look out for that 👀
Not many folks on here talk about money openly, but having some sales income to cover time writing, editing working the algorithm is a reasonable ask.
'Not Selling Out' is an indulgence for rich teenagers. Real people need to eat.
Nate from 80/20 Drummer has a similar personality style and has found a good way to promote his services without making a big thing about it?
If your sensitivity is around charging money for content... Is it possible there's a conflict with your ideals about your content? Is your vision to have outreach that ISN'T paywalled? Is there there something about paywalls that you just feel are morally questionable when it involves folks who are struggling? Just some thoughts - I don't know you well enough to give the answer and I don't mean to influence you in any direction. I wish you the best of luck! :)
Thanks for this question - an important thing to consider I think! And something I've been swishing around in my head since I read it. The short answer (to save writing an essay 🤣) is no - I don't think there's a conflict buuut what this has helped me realise is that the worry I do have is around my intentions and values being misperceived by others. But I guess the thing to learn here is we can't control others perceptions of us!
You're so likeable Rach. Well done you. But you're not getting my £2. Ha.
hahahehe 🤪
There are things I work on with my customers, that I don't seem to be able to with myself. This is one of the things. I often work with young people who feel like they can't do something, or school/parents etc have said they can't. I don't know if it is possible to always close off those emotions, or if we have to find some way to feel them and live anyway. Sometimes with my Customers, we will imagine and picture all the worst possible things that can happen (that they will be imagining anyway). Shine a torch on those monsters. Sometimes it does work for them to have a plan A, but also a plan B and a plan C, and feel ok with plan C. That way IF the worst happens, there are still options and a whole box of tools as safety blankets. I started writing this MASSIVE comment that was becoming a book, then decided to stop lol, but I could go on.