I swear people will “accept” lgbtqia+ folks until they actually do something fitting their lifestyle, like loving their partner or marrying them, or transitioning, or whatever, and suddenly it’s like “oh love the sinners hate their sins” and I just cannot stand the hypocrisy. They’re not as accepting as they claim and that reflects on them, but it sure is hurtful either way. 😤
35 is NOT old even by gay male terms! As best I can determine from your reflections on this I assume the person having a hard time "accepting" you identifies as a Christian. Thus they are indoctrinated with the Biblical interpretations of scripture that are commonly taught and accepted among fundamentalist and evangelical Christians. Never mind that Bible scholars actually disagree about the meaning and intention of Bible passages having to do with homosexuality as the word "gay" was not even used in Bible times. I strongly recommend the book "What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality" by Daniel A.Helminiak, Ph.D. ( a respected theologian and former Roman Catholic priest) which I think you might find most interesting. Also, I want to take exception to your friend's use of the term "lifestyle". Being gay is NOT a "lifestyle" and not all gay men relate to being gay in the same ways. This is a reductionist term used by people trying to virtue-signal by avoiding the word "sex", which is the only thing they really disapprove of concerning gay men. It is an absurd term that tries to suggest all we do is hang out in bars, dance, and have sex. Sadly, even Hollywood repeatedly reflects these stereotypes. Show me 10 gay men and I will show you 10 different lives, most of them NOT reflecting the stereotypes religious people prefer to cling to. "Lifestyle" is a dated ('60s!) term meant to reduce all of us gay guys down to tired old stereotypes that (in their judgmental minds) rationalizes the SHAME GAME many Christians love to engage in with gay people. Also beware of the term "identity". Being gay is NOT our sole "identity", it is merely PART of our identity. The distinction is important. words and terminology are important Don't get me started on a few others, LOL!
I’m sorry this happened to you. 1) they’ve demonstrated they aren’t a friend. 2) they’ve made your life experience about them, which is low emotional intelligence and straight up selfish. I’m 46 and out for 30 years this month and I’m noticing some of my relationships change for similar reasons, and it is sad. However, I don’t hesitate to drop these people. I’m old, tired and not willing to negotiate acceptance into someone’s life - you shouldn’t either. You deserve to be happy and have your happiness celebrated, dear heart. ❤
I swear people will “accept” lgbtqia+ folks until they actually do something fitting their lifestyle, like loving their partner or marrying them, or transitioning, or whatever, and suddenly it’s like “oh love the sinners hate their sins” and I just cannot stand the hypocrisy. They’re not as accepting as they claim and that reflects on them, but it sure is hurtful either way. 😤
It really sucks that some people aren't accepting but that shows they were never real friends. I accept you as you are and I'm happy for you.
It does feel like that, that it's like people can only take so much before they tap out in my life, but the ones that stay are so amazing. ❤
35 is NOT old even by gay male terms! As best I can determine from your reflections on this I assume the person having a hard time "accepting" you identifies as a Christian. Thus they are indoctrinated with the Biblical interpretations of scripture that are commonly taught and accepted among fundamentalist and evangelical Christians. Never mind that Bible scholars actually disagree about the meaning and intention of Bible passages having to do with homosexuality as the word "gay" was not even used in Bible times. I strongly recommend the book "What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality" by Daniel A.Helminiak, Ph.D. ( a respected theologian and former Roman Catholic priest) which I think you might find most interesting. Also, I want to take exception to your friend's use of the term "lifestyle". Being gay is NOT a "lifestyle" and not all gay men relate to being gay in the same ways. This is a reductionist term used by people trying to virtue-signal by avoiding the word "sex", which is the only thing they really disapprove of concerning gay men. It is an absurd term that tries to suggest all we do is hang out in bars, dance, and have sex. Sadly, even Hollywood repeatedly reflects these stereotypes. Show me 10 gay men and I will show you 10 different lives, most of them NOT reflecting the stereotypes religious people prefer to cling to. "Lifestyle" is a dated ('60s!) term meant to reduce all of us gay guys down to tired old stereotypes that (in their judgmental minds) rationalizes the SHAME GAME many Christians love to engage in with gay people. Also beware of the term "identity". Being gay is NOT our sole "identity", it is merely PART of our identity. The distinction is important. words and terminology are important Don't get me started on a few others, LOL!
I’m sorry this happened to you. 1) they’ve demonstrated they aren’t a friend. 2) they’ve made your life experience about them, which is low emotional intelligence and straight up selfish.
I’m 46 and out for 30 years this month and I’m noticing some of my relationships change for similar reasons, and it is sad. However, I don’t hesitate to drop these people. I’m old, tired and not willing to negotiate acceptance into someone’s life - you shouldn’t either. You deserve to be happy and have your happiness celebrated, dear heart. ❤
Thank you ♥️ I couldn't agree more!
That really does suck I hope you can get through this
Thank you ♥️♥️
definitely this person's loss
♥️♥️♥️