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Hey @CourtneyRyan just to let you know you have a scammer on here pretending to be you saying to contact you through telegram. I've seen this message from other You Tube channels Might be a good idea to let others know. Thanks.
Here's a list for the kings who have little time: 1) Being *too* sexual too soon. 2) Playing "games" will attract toxic women 3) If a woman likes you, you'll know 4) They generally want safety and security (Has a career, physical strong, emotionally supportive) 5) Taking the lead makes women melt
yea, we need a list of what makes a TOXIC women, im done half a(ss)ed hints some of them give, as well as not being able to discern which ones who think im too clingy when i ask "did you get home safe?", likes its basic human nature to care about someones life@@tdrive398
#2 is so damn true. Be upfront with your intentions, don't play games, and show her that you're serious about her. Effective communication is attractive especially from a mature woman with a healthy mindset.
It's definitely good if you are looking to actract someone emotionally mature. Unfortunately time and time again I find showing that I'm serious has led to them pulling away, but when I pull away and am distant women tend to become far more interested. Not sure why it works this way in practice
@@0verPar Let true world experience be your teacher. Your experience is the truth that almost all men discover sooner or later. For some reason women will tell us that mind games don't work.. Done correctly they are the most effective tool in the box. Understanding how people tick male or female is very important. Both men and women are generally hypocrites.
#5 - Take the Lead / Take Initiative. This should come with asterisk or warning label! Women love a man that takes the lead ONLY when they don't feel like they need to be in control and have their way. My wife complains that I'm indecisive and that I always make her decide. That's a learned behavior from years of being critiqued, gaslighted and shamed for not reading her mind. You could ask anyone who works with me and they would never describe me as indecisive. I hate indecision. But when you're told that every decision you make is wrong, or given the passive aggressive "put out" treatment any time you take the lead, there comes a point where you don't care and let the women figure it out.
@@EriPages Great advice. I hope you take your own advice. In year 6 of your marriage she's going to take your kids, house and half your 401K and make you pay her child support. This is 2023 not 1923. In 1923 she'd follow, in 2023 she knows she gets cash and prizes if she quits. Stop watching dumb youtube channels by guys that have ZERO long term relationships. 6 years is NOT long term. Listen to men that have been married 40+ years.
My advisement is for the OP of this thread who is already married and in that situation I solved for him. How did your marriage play out? And I want to be clear I'm not taking a dig at you. I'm genuinely wanting to know how your own marriage turned out? I'm 35, unmarried. Just playing the tinder game for now. May marry in a year though.@@ronmexico8383
Whatever a guy finds out there, it's nice to hear a woman talk about having a healthy, respectful relationship. Keeps us believing there is reason for hope.
Synopsis: 1. Getting too sexual too soon= Icky 2. Effective communication is key. Playing games attracts toxic women. 3. If a woman likes you, you’ll know. 4. Safety and Security are important. Emotional support, trustworthiness, empathy, etc. are truly important. 5. Take the lead. Take initiative.
Number 5 is really true. You may think youre showing that youre chill and go with the flow, but she thinks youre a guy who cant make decisions and is afraid to be a leader. Ive learned this recently myself.
Think about what you’ve said though. Why do they want you to make the decisions? Is it not ok to expect equal or collaborative decisions? Honestly, to me it just comes across as lazy to me. I don’t want to put myself out there, so you do it, your the man
This is a much better place to get healthy advice that will actually help you w/ relationships. Please stay away from the red pill channels, as they are toxic.
When you're young, you're out there in the world working or going to school. Friend circles tend to be bigger and opportunities to meet women are easier. Try to believe in yourself and know that there's someone out there for you. There are also girls that find it tough to meet men too.
One thing I love about Courtney's content is that it's good for men of all ages. Most of these creators focus on younger men and indeed they have it worse, but there are single middle-aged guys who remember the old dating market and are like WTF? in the current one. Keep up the good work Courtney.
I agree with Courtney's philosophy and content being sensible. However noticing some of the repeating topics and all the responses in the comments the "dating world" especially in the west seems to be chaotic and mostly heading for a major crash- what happened? Its like interconnectivity of internet which is known to make all these things so convenient somehow made this topic far worse
@@Matanumi I think the main reason we hear things repeated is because there are always new people coming into this space who haven't heard it at all. It's like the safety lecture on a plane. If you've flown before you've heard it over and over but a first time or very infrequent flyer will be hearing it with news ears.
Solid. These are things my gf and I still do today. We both have our roles and we both love our solitude and self care but we are one hell of a team. I protect her physically, spiritually and emotionally and she makes me feel like the luckiest guy alive. I feel like having a solid foundation of self before trying to date is so key.
@@nobodysperfect06 it really didn’t go down as a so-called conventional “asked her out.” It started off as more of a friendship and mutual respect for one another. It organically blossomed into a relationship after about 4 months. We were both in healthy places and had done a lot of self work and realized we didn’t need one another, but it became clear that we wanted one another. 3 years later and we are best buddies and share life together. We still joke about not needing one another but I don’t know what I would do without her. That last parts between us on this platform 🤓
@@carlosam23282 I’ll tell you this much. It’s when I stopped chasing or thinking I needed someone to fulfill me and began just loving myself and heeling from trauma that life just began to change. I’m no guru on love but it has appeared to be the equation for me. The kicker here is I truly mean it when I say I wasn’t looking or chasing. There is something special about the art of letting go brother.
Thank you for all the help you offer. Was married for 35 years and lost my wife to Breast Cancer so that being said, I didn't have a clue of even where to start. You offer a moral way to look at all this without all the other things that make it seem almost dirty. Again Thank you
You are such a great woman Courtney. Your husband must be so proud to share his life with such an impossibly high quality lady like you. Your physical attributes are undeniably insanely over the top, but where you score most of your points is on the intelligence level. You are the definition of wife material.
Hey Courtney... I love watches - which is how I found Teddy's channel and discovered you via his channel. I'm also a business psychologist professor so human behavior absolutely fascinates me. I've watched a few of your videos and I have to say that your channel is so wonderful and valuable. Dating, relationships, human interaction, attraction etc are so fraught with "reading between the lines" and misunderstandings and miscommunications that you "deciphering" the human relationship and gendered behavior is a very noble act. Thanks for what you do.
OK. I'm listening. I'm in a new relationship that I'm hoping will be my last. So far, so great. I'm hoping to pick up some helpful pointers here to make it even greater down the line! 👍🏾 #subscribed
Great points Courtney. Mind games is a bad start to a healthy relationship. Safety and security is where she wants to feel that she can rely on you to defend her if a bad situation arises. Finances are important, the guy don’t need to be rich but can manage money well.
I've been watching you for a while and I don't often comment on videos, and just wanted to say that you are amazing and such a great resource. I'm 50 now but wow, if the advice you offer had been around in my 20s, I could have been spared so much heartbreak and wasted time. I'm getting it now, so better late than never. Thank you so much for helping some of us that are clueless in the "dating game". I've always been the nerdy geek type and women have always been a mystery to me. You are like the older sister I never had, only you are half my age. Haha. Thanks again.
Its goot to be pointed out that if a woman likes you you will know its not simply looking at you from huge distance, but also initiating conversation when you at least expect,directly revealing herself slowly from close distance basically 50 % of the way. Ive seen from past experience so many women not doing anything as effort and just sending mixed signals. Dating is such trash for years now and whoever has experience can recognise himself in it. Those are the types who will/are unhappy and will remain such . Important thing is to shut the door after you and burn everything considered past and look in to the future only.
I am comfortable taking the lead, but I don't want to have to come up with everything all the time. Especially if she's lived in this town for 10 years and I've lived here for 1, hopefully she knows something interesting. Some people who want "someone to take the lead" are actually just completely uninteresting and have no ideas.
Exactly. I actually think it comes across a lazy. Seems harsh, but true. How nice to just show up and let the other person take all the risk if the venue sucks, or something happens. It’s 2023, decide together, it’s not hard.
Thank you for mentioning mental health. I sometimes feel like I'm struggling pretty hard mentally because of some stuff I've been diagnosed with. I used to feel ashamed about it thinking I could never be a strong partner or the man she needs some times. But I'm now doing therapy and exercising, meditating, taking care of myself overall. I'm staying on top of it and communicating what I need if it gets bad, but def taking personal charge of it. I feel like if someone like me were to land a real relationship with a great woman someday I would feel like the luckiest man on earth and fight to protect it by keeping myself as healthy as possible for me and for us. Anyway, just felt like expressing that thought as a reaction to your excellent video. Keep up the great work.
Great ‘flip of the script’ with this video @CourtneyRyan - the perfect complement to the previous video 👍🏼 Once again, a must watch for both women and men.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
My recommendation is read 3 percent man by coach Corey Wayne. She left you, so don't chase at all. Work to become the best you, and shockingly if it's meant to be, she'll come back if/when you are doing great without her. It sounds messed up, but female psychology is just that.
@josephreglandShe was not the love of your life if she walked away. She might have been important to you for a part of your life, but the right one is the one that chooses you.
Hey Courtney, massive thanks for sharing all these insights! Your videos have been incredibly enlightening, especially amidst the aftermath of a tough breakup. Your discussions, especially around 'playing games' attracting toxicity, hit so close to home - I’ve seen that happen way too many times. Your reassuring words that 'if a woman likes you, you'll know’ are simplifying the complex world of dating in the best way. And diving into what women generally seek, like safety and emotional support, has been a real eye-opener, steering me towards being a better, more attentive partner in the future. You’ve got me reconsidering so many aspects of how I approach relationships and honestly, it’s been such a healthy, necessary reflection. Can’t wait to keep learning from your content!
Such great advice. #2 stuck out to me. I never waited to communicate with a woman to "play games", and I did it with the advice from some dating "experts" out there. They recommended this to show you aren't needy and to create some curiosity with the lady. Thank you.
5:26 the problem here is that most women pay you zero attention. They actively avoid you. And a lot of guys have NEVER, not a single time, had a girl express any interest whatsoever in them. So when you say "if she likes you, you'll know" it falls flat, because the firl that kept us around for validation or only because she wanted something or whatever, is the only one to EVER show interest. A guy thinks "wow she's paying all this attention to me! she even texts me back sometimes! She must really like me because rhis is the first girl who's ever treated me this well!" And then she burns you and you become disillusioned. Thats the best you'd ever felt about a girl and now she's just discarded you like trash
while this is true, look I get it man, being emotionally neglected for years is debilitating and can fuck you up for most of your life. You have to understand this; you are not entitled to affection from other women, no one is, man or women. You do not "deserve" the affection of frankly, strangers. And I know some ppl make it look so easy, I've been there smouldering in resentment as everyone else I knew had partners and romantic affairs and it felt like I was living as a side character who was friends with the mc of a 2nd rate romcom TV series, always on the sidelines and never in the limelight. but, to be frank, you're coping. And the best way you can deal with that is to let it go and accept it. Don't go out looking for love if you know its a rigged or losing battle, don't jump at the chance for love and make a hasty decision and end up scorned or betrayed. Push it to the side, the feeling of being lonely is temporary, so focus on yourself. Then once you are balanced and healthy then be open to love, and if you still get nowhere after that, at least you have something to show for it by being able to be proud of yourself; and you wouldn't have spent all that time self loathing, because no one gets a medal truthfully for suffering or being sad and lonely, the world won't spare you its pity. Because truthfully you are the only person holding yourself back, and only you can make a change for the better in your life
Hi Courtney, I'am a happily married man for years and years. I'm old now but still enjoy your videos cause not only are you butifull and your voice so pleasant but you teach things I wish I had known when young. We've always had a great relationship, my wife and I.But still I wish I could of paid more attention and been more in the moment.Thank you for the memories and insight. I hope your husband knows how lucky he is.
I will say this ever since I started going to therapy and clearing my mind and just past traumas Ive been doing better at work, my workouts, and just smiling more in life.
@@aldente5429 I realized after my ex and I broke up that I need to work on myself in order to have a good relationship(btw we both were toxic). Ive done two years of work both mentally and just physically. Hell I was so mentally broken I was scared to run half marathons.Which I did a ton in college. Now though my mental is so much better Im ready to compete again.
@@aldente5429 I know brother trust me straight out of college graduated a semester late. Both of my jobs laid me off. Struggled for months just barely making it through with enough money saved. This coming from a guy where I was successful basically all my life had some failures but not as hard as the past 2 and half years.
That's very reasonable and just common sense. I did all these things, except I did not see the signs that she was really into me at 1st. Then I had to leave for a long business trip and when I returned we became a couple. She never played any games, nor did I. We are still together, and what I have learned. You attract who you are as a person.
The only leading I’ve done is to make her goals achievable. Living a long strict lifestyle of studying she has a lot of dreams of traveling but not the means to achieve them alone. Practically how we first started hanging out. 😊 Booking a two person trip without notice and I can either just let her go alone or ask for leave and go with her. We’re not even dating yet at this time.
I don’t think women make it subtle enough when they like you. My first thought would be, oh she’s just being nice cause she’s nice to people. I’ve had so many women tell my they weren’t into me, they were just being nice. So now I don’t take the chance. If you’re into me, you’re gonna have to tell me straight up now. No more games!
0:22 - 1: Too sexual too soon 1:48 - sponsor, Better Help, therapy (your mental health is important yo!) 3:05 - 2: Playing games attracts toxic partners 4:36 - 3: If a woman likes you, she'll let you'll know 5:35 - 4: Safety and security. This includes, but means more than just finances. 8:05 - 5: Taking the lead and making decisions is sexy
A women i dated told me she wants a leader.. a man in charge.. but every time i made decisions such as where to go on our date.. she always found a problem with it.. roller skating (no.. i dont want to skate and fall).. fancy restaurant (too expensive, even though IM always the one that pays anyways.).. chain restaurant (crackel barral) (no.. so much fried food there..).. Picnic (no, mosquitoes are out there).. like.. come ON!!!
She touched base with becoming a gentleman. I need to work on that. I like that she said women aren’t interested in money, but I want to make money. Last year I saw a quote and it said “ if money is the problem, change the way you look at money.” I just want to be better and I want to achieve my goals.
Courtney, I've been binge watching your videos so far. It's like you were my girlfriend (a friend who's a girl) that I never had but always wanted. I'm glad I found your channel.
Public comment. Ms Courtney you are down to earth. I am happy and proud of you..God bless you. So much great information. ❤❤❤. No games .no red flags . Loyalty is royalty. Moral values and respect.
Hi Courtney. Been following you for a while and love your work. May I ask if you could consider doing a video on how to help single dads navigate the dating world. Maybe 5 things men with children could do to increase there luck landing a woman. Or how to make a woman feel more comfortable taking on a man with children. Keep up the good work. Thankyou
This, so much this. The fish fisherman example only makes sense if you are trying to trick/exploit a woman, not if you are actually giving her what she thinks you're giving her.
If she really enjoys his company and digs him then it won't matter if he waits a week to text or call her again for the next date. That's the point. If she doesn't dig him then she won't care to hear from him again. The only reason it would bother her is because her interest level is going up.
I think it's great to bring up mental health. Too many people face these issues and put off getting help even though it's affecting their personal lives and their relationships with others. There is no shame in getting help.
Yea, nice job Courtney. I would just like to add a little advice bout “chasing women”. I don’t chase a woman unless she wants to chase me. I need the give and take , the back and forth and of course the up and down!
4:25 that makes a lot of sense. Doing these rules attract the kinds of girls that look for dudes that won't care for them. Being caring and thoughtful as a default in how you carry yourself as a man will filter out the women who are good for you and the ones who are bad. If your approach is to hook up like what Courtney Ryan just said, recalibrate. Know your audience. Playing the field and rizzing girls up will most likely work in bars, clubs, raves, etc. Know when to apply which strategy appropriately depending on your life path.
I'm glad You Tube put your video in my feed. It tells me that I'm on the right path as far as the content I consume. I think your perspective is refreshing, classy, to the point and logical. Great work.
- [00:25]🔥 Being too sexual too soon can be off-putting when dating. Building sexual tension gradually is more effective for developing a healthy relationship. - [03:03] 🧠 Taking care of your mental health is essential. Therapy can provide tools for approaching life differently. - [03:45]🎮 Playing mind games and waiting to text after a date can attract toxic relationships. Effective communication is key, and mature adults should avoid such games. - [04:42] ❤ If a woman likes you, she will show it through communication, interest in your life, and clear signs. Confusion may indicate she's not interested or is playing games. - [05:37]💰 Safety and security in a relationship go beyond just finances. It includes emotional support, trust, stability, protection, and more. Financial independence is important, but it doesn't require being a millionaire. - [08:15] 💪 Taking the lead is attractive to women. Planning dates, making reservations, and showing initiative is appreciated and makes a positive impression.
I will tell you a story, I met a girl in 2003 in Florida, I am from NY. I was excited she seemed to like me which never happens. I knew I wanted to see her again but knew it would be awhile. She was very explicit about staying in contact with her through Email. Following her lead I emailed her good morning and emailed her at the end of the day telling her I hope she had a nice day. After a week of getting 2 emails a day saying good morning and hoping she had a nice day she accused me of being needy and abandoned any further contact.
I have anxiety on a daily basis and routine. Also, I suffer from stress and depression, because after losing my grandmother and my grandad. And which hurt most when I lost my Cousin so yes I suffer from my dark thoughts but I have God by my side and I have a wonderful girlfriend
Brother, that was me too. I use to be on anti depressants and still wake up with a ball of anxiety in my chest everyday. Also diagnosed with severe clinical depression and bi polar 2 disorder. All I did was start eating healthy, mostly vegetarian, got off processed sugars, started taking pro-biotics, hardly consume alcohol and I work out a bit. Not a gym rat at all, I just do simple stuff. I got off all the pharma pills and haven’t dealt with anxiety or depression since. That doesn’t mean there aren’t life situations that don’t cause a little stress and anxiety but I transmute that energy and do not let it define me. I suppose I will add that I have also dealt with all trauma all the way back from childhood. It helps to learn how to let go of pride and ego. Become vulnerable and begin to know thyself. You got this man!
I really like your content, it has helped me understand why love & romance just don't fit into my life, even though at one time I really wanted them & why my marriage ended in disaster & felt doomed from the first major crisis. I am just wired wrong for what women want, I thrive in controled chaos, being a productive talented human who makes my way in the world with the flexibility & drive to handle whatever it throws at me is very important to me, status games & using money to keep score & deriving my self worth by what others think of me are not important to me & I like myself the way I am, the ultimate goal in life is dieing the person you want to be. It is easy for me to accept now why women in general tend to like & respect me, while looking somewhere else for romance. I never really got it before, thanks.
Question: I met 2 girls a few months ago. Both roommates. I had a great interaction with both - more so with the girl I was really attracted to. Feelings were mutual in person. But over text - not so much. I ended up never going out with her after she flaked on me several times over text. I cancelled so many reservations! We don’t talk anymore, but her roommate is super into me. But I’m not into her like that, so how do I politely let her know I’m not interested and would rather be friends? She’s not taking any hints. And I’m still trying to get over the girl that never gave me the time of day. 😢
I recently had a woman tell me she always parks her car next to mine because I always park so neatly. Are there other things like this that women notice and care about?
Courtney! Thanks- Better help! - i got ptsd from something to do with my job in 2018. my job could potentially put me in same situation for real- i mean a life and death terrifying situation! The slight thought of it puts me in fight or flight mode for ages! I feel horrible:( today was this day and i need to make a decision to take on a job and potentially risk it although very small chance or just hide at home. Today was bad. I was fixated for hours on potentially what might happen. I think Maybe time for me to retrain. A few years ago therapy helped me tame my physical responses but i feel its reversed. I need to look at therapy again if nothing else i thank you for that ! Thankyou!
I really feel like the past couple of months, Courtney's videos have been a big step up in facilitating a healthy comment section :) I hope she elaborates further on men "taking the lead". This is the only thing that still doesn't sit right with me. Imagine planning a first date, she has a food allergy/sensitivity that I'm not aware of, I take the lead and bring her to some place where there's nothing for her to eat. (For the record, this DID happen to me! She was lactose intolerant, I suggested ice cream, and she ate the ice cream and was miserable for it. I suffered a blow to the ego. She had actual digestion problems, so she had it worse in this situation. All was forgiven, but it was a wakeup call for both of us) I could brainstorm a hundred scenarios like that where everything could go horribly wrong - that would all be solved by simple communication and not just me having to "Be the Man(tm)" and unilaterally make all the (wrong) decisions. Surely there's more to this concept!
@@billcynic1815 Absolutely! This one is obvious in retrospect. Just makes me sad that she didn't think she could advocate for herself because she felt like she was supposed to follow my lead.
Yea... the big problem with "taking the lead" is when she says "I dont care, you pick" but then gets annoyed/angry when you dont pick something she wants....😑
Too sexual is somewhat a tad too vague with some grey areas. If it’s texting pics and being creepy then yeah totally I agree. I want to see if there is sexual compatibility or chemistry as early as 2 dates in, out of respect that I don’t want to waste my time and money on multiple dates and then find out where not compatible. I am a tad confused with the don’t play mind games illusion - if I’m texting her a day after then I basically get the I’m too needy or clingy speech, I’m invested too much by wanting her attention, or perhaps I don’t have options that’s why I’m texting her. Also, I’m curious, doesn’t taking the lead signify that you’re placing her on a pedestal trying too hard to win her affections?
Text right away to say "That was great!" But keep it short. It only looks needy when you send multiple and long texts in a short space of time without her replying.
All good advice. My biggest issue is actually finding a woman in the first place. It's impossible. I've tried all the dating sites, social groups, hobbies and interests etc. There is no one at all that I've even been able to approach. Two years looking!
@@simontmn Quite a lot, but they're all married or got partners already. Or they are filling their boots on the dating sites with all the male players. There are no normal single women anywhere. My age range doesn't help I guess. I'm about 50.
Great list, but I disagree with 4. I never could tell if a woman liked me and there were many times I thought they did, but boy was I wrong. It's best never to assume you know what somebody else thinks or feels.
Planning and taking the lead can be extremely challenging for neurodiverse individuals with executive functioning deficits like myself. But even aside from that, you as a woman never have to think about how exhausting it is to have keep planning date after date after date when none of them lead to anything anyway. For you, sure it's disappointing that there wasn't enough chemistry or whatever, but oh well just on to the next free (for you) fancy dinner. For us, it's extremely mentally exhausting to have to frequently put all the energy into planning yet another date that will most likely just end in another "thanks but no thanks" like all the others before it did. So how about instead once you first show me that I'm not just wasting my time for the seventeen thousandth time, and that's when I'll put some effort into planning a date.
God bless you for offering real, thorough, well-intended, often much-needed good advice to men like me, who can really use it. Lol. Prolonged loneliness causes anything from depression to suicide, to violent acting out. Not saying that people shouldn't be able to handle their own, but I wish more people had a conscience enough to offer their wisdom as well. Spread love not hate... 😊
I thought a woman liked me. Dated for a bit before I moved but turned into a long term thing. Both busy, but don't have my kids, she has hers. Brought up this past weekend that I was starting to not feel like a priority at all to her. Had made a trip down to see my kids. Stayed a bit longer to see her despite having to drive 6 hours back to get ready for work the next day. Been asking when she was going to come up. Have asked three times now and got told that she finally checked her calendar and picked a weekend that wasn't even a possibility and had already told her that. Continued to let her know how I was feeling about how the infrequent texts, the know consideration to call me and talk to me about the visit plan, and some others things were contributing to this feeling. Was just fed excuses that she was busy so no accountability. No validation of feelings. Just I'm busy. So I walked away.
Dont agree with a lot of your videos but this one is a solid one. Its your channel and you can word things the way you want to...but a better way to put the second point is that not playing the waiting game will filter out girls that dont like you that much or have so much emotional baggage that they need games to become attracted to a guy.
There is only thing men need to know: it's either FUCK YES! or move on. Don't chase, don't try to win her. When she's really into you road will be really smooth, almost effortless, she won't care about you mistakes and break her rules for you.
Yeah, probably the best advice. Watching these videos, you hear "man you should do this, man you should do that". Fuck that. If a girl is really into you, everything would be smooth from the start. Otherwise, forget about her and look for a new one.
Somehow that Kelsey Cook quote comes to mind when it comes to dating: "If you get divorced and you start trying to date again, it's like having to come back out of retirement."
The second one really hits. My god, the amount of “dating coaches” on social media is sickening. They literally exploit desperate people (usually men) to make money. Because, you know, ALL of them have a course or two the “guarantee” success. It’s sad. Seriously… use your common sense and stop overthinking dates and romance. You had a good time? Let her know. You have a date coming up? You can talk to her in between dates. If you feel like you can’t text them more than twice a day… you need help haha and if she ghosts you because of any of these, good. That means she didn’t waste your time. Because she wasn’t the type of girl you wanna date. Trust me. I’ve dated one of those. You’re never exclusive to them. They will never respect you because they’re toxic and only wanna be disrespected. Be a stand up guy. But keep your self respect.
I've been understanding of these things, and have NOT been the undesirable aspects of these things, and I'm middle aged, and still have no dating experience. Still haven't met someone with my value system, which is a reasonable value system.
Im a women and although your videos are aimed at men mostly, I actually find them very useful and agree with almost everything, you give solid advice for men. I wish there was a dating coach like you for women, but the ones for women seem to advise on all this game playing silliness
Important things: 0:23 First Thing - Too Sexual Too Soon = The Ick; 3:04 Second Thing - Playing Games Attracts Toxic Woman; Third Thing; 4:36 Third Thing - If A Woman Likes You, You Will Know; 5:32 Fourth Thing - Safety And Security Are More Just Than Money; 8:03 Fifth Thing - Taking The Lead Makes Woman Melt; and 9:47 to summarize all the told here. I can also say that some of these similar things that you told about the men Courtney, they can also apply to women as well. As for me, you can make a part two of the videos. I don't know what will others say Thank you so much Courtney ❤💙🤍.
Thank god for this video. I feel like I'm not insane anymore. Male dating coaches online can fill you with toxicity and have you thinking perfectly normal behaviour is abnormal.
My curiousness is peaked, however. What would you recommend to guys in their 20s that have almost no prospect of finding anything but toxic? The world we live in breeds co-dependence, especially for daughters without fathers, or rough parental marriages. It seems they vastly outnumber those looking for a serious relationship.
@@CatGamer-wc2ij why would you say that guys in their 20s have almost no prospect of finding anything but toxic? It all depends on your mindset. I know it sounds cliché, but becoming the person who you would like to attract goes a long way in my opinion. You attract what you give out to the world. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself, and the right person will come along 😊
I had asked a question but it got answered back with a question. So when I answer, please answer mine. For men it takes time to become that person even an average woman wants, let alone the woman they want to attract. A LOT of time. The vast majority of men that say want to attract an upper middle woman, i.e., not reaching out of their league, cannot attract them in their 20s. Only 10% of men make 100k, which is the average an upper middle woman view as successful and competent. And we make that predominately in our 30s and up. (Economics prohibits all men from becoming top earners.) It takes years to get a degree that's worth something. It takes a decade to develop self-confidence and self-worth. Women really don't understand how much effort it takes a guy that isn't say Chris Hemsworth. This is because most of their value for a mate is assigned by biology. I'm not saying either is good, because I would hate to be valued only for my looks (Or height...) But the point is, there is a reason 30 percent of men (which is rising) are not getting with women in years in their 20s. @@Stefita83
You state all this as true, But let a muscular, attractive 6' tall, George Clooney type man just enter the room walk up to you and say something sexual nature and you'll go to the bathroom w/o a 2nd thought and have fun.
Go to our sponsor betterhelp.com/courtneyryan for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help.
Hey @CourtneyRyan just to let you know you have a scammer on here pretending to be you saying to contact you through telegram. I've seen this message from other You Tube channels Might be a good idea to let others know. Thanks.
Yeh they are nonproductive. Not helping your channel at all.
@@AYDTMAN72 Amazing. UA-cam doesn't give a shirt.
❤❤,@@Canucklehead557
Here's a list for the kings who have little time:
1) Being *too* sexual too soon.
2) Playing "games" will attract toxic women
3) If a woman likes you, you'll know
4) They generally want safety and security (Has a career, physical strong, emotionally supportive)
5) Taking the lead makes women melt
Thanks brother appreciate it
So, to be fair- wouldn't a woman "playing games" make HER toxic?
yea, we need a list of what makes a TOXIC women, im done half a(ss)ed hints some of them give, as well as not being able to discern which ones who think im too clingy when i ask "did you get home safe?", likes its basic human nature to care about someones life@@tdrive398
@@tdrive398 Yes. That’s the point.
If women want men to take the lead, when do they boss men around?
#2 is so damn true. Be upfront with your intentions, don't play games, and show her that you're serious about her. Effective communication is attractive especially from a mature woman with a healthy mindset.
spot on per usual!
That's going to save time, IMO.
It's definitely good if you are looking to actract someone emotionally mature. Unfortunately time and time again I find showing that I'm serious has led to them pulling away, but when I pull away and am distant women tend to become far more interested. Not sure why it works this way in practice
Too bad mature women don't exist unless they're past child bearing age.
@@0verPar Let true world experience be your teacher. Your experience is the truth that almost all men discover sooner or later. For some reason women will tell us that mind games don't work.. Done correctly they are the most effective tool in the box. Understanding how people tick male or female is very important. Both men and women are generally hypocrites.
#5 - Take the Lead / Take Initiative. This should come with asterisk or warning label!
Women love a man that takes the lead ONLY when they don't feel like they need to be in control and have their way. My wife complains that I'm indecisive and that I always make her decide. That's a learned behavior from years of being critiqued, gaslighted and shamed for not reading her mind. You could ask anyone who works with me and they would never describe me as indecisive. I hate indecision. But when you're told that every decision you make is wrong, or given the passive aggressive "put out" treatment any time you take the lead, there comes a point where you don't care and let the women figure it out.
To lead you need conviction in the first place.
That's fucked up
You need to quit being a punk and from now on tell her you will not tolerate dismissiveness or critique.
Simple. Then resume deciding.
@@EriPages Great advice. I hope you take your own advice. In year 6 of your marriage she's going to take your kids, house and half your 401K and make you pay her child support.
This is 2023 not 1923. In 1923 she'd follow, in 2023 she knows she gets cash and prizes if she quits. Stop watching dumb youtube channels by guys that have ZERO long term relationships. 6 years is NOT long term. Listen to men that have been married 40+ years.
My advisement is for the OP of this thread who is already married and in that situation I solved for him.
How did your marriage play out? And I want to be clear I'm not taking a dig at you. I'm genuinely wanting to know how your own marriage turned out?
I'm 35, unmarried. Just playing the tinder game for now. May marry in a year though.@@ronmexico8383
Take the lead right up until she doesn't like what you've planned, then you should have checked with her and you are inconsiderate.
Women: "oh you shouldn't have 🥰"
Also women: "I hate surprises 🤨"
😂😂
Honestly it's not hard to say "How about X?" - then she feels she's in control when she agrees.
My personal strategy is to plan and then run it all by her. It shows that I was thoughtful and took initiative but also that I value her input.
@@OGBhyve Yes but don't invest too much time in planning, keep it light. You may have a repertoire of good date venues.
Whatever a guy finds out there, it's nice to hear a woman talk about having a healthy, respectful relationship. Keeps us believing there is reason for hope.
Thats all it is....making you believe there is hope.
Synopsis: 1. Getting too sexual too soon= Icky 2. Effective communication is key. Playing games attracts toxic women. 3. If a woman likes you, you’ll know. 4. Safety and Security are important. Emotional support, trustworthiness, empathy, etc. are truly important. 5. Take the lead. Take initiative.
too seexual too soon goes both ways and that's not something ABOUT women
that is something about what women LIKE about men (or not)
LMAO is she for real? Men understand women. Women do not understand men.
stop generalizing and stereotyping @@NiaLaLa_V
@@zerpblerd5966Why? Women do it all the damn time.
omfg, there you go, doing it@@iamme25yago
STOP
Number 5 is really true. You may think youre showing that youre chill and go with the flow, but she thinks youre a guy who cant make decisions and is afraid to be a leader. Ive learned this recently myself.
Oh wow. Too bad 'take the lead' is so f*cking vague of a piece of advice, aint it??
I can be chill for some things, but NOT with others.
Think about what you’ve said though. Why do they want you to make the decisions? Is it not ok to expect equal or collaborative decisions? Honestly, to me it just comes across as lazy to me. I don’t want to put myself out there, so you do it, your the man
Courtney is like the big sister I always wish I had! I'm 19 trying my best to be a decent man. These videos have helped me tremendously! Thanks!😊
Aww this is wonderful. I’m so glad you’re here 😊
This is a much better place to get healthy advice that will actually help you w/ relationships. Please stay away from the red pill channels, as they are toxic.
Enjoy the youth while you can, and don’t take things too seriously. I’d kill to be 18-25 years old again, with the knowledge I have now.
When you're young, you're out there in the world working or going to school. Friend circles tend to be bigger and opportunities to meet women are easier. Try to believe in yourself and know that there's someone out there for you. There are also girls that find it tough to meet men too.
One thing I love about Courtney's content is that it's good for men of all ages. Most of these creators focus on younger men and indeed they have it worse, but there are single middle-aged guys who remember the old dating market and are like WTF? in the current one. Keep up the good work Courtney.
Thank you my friend! 🤍
I agree with Courtney's philosophy and content being sensible.
However noticing some of the repeating topics and all the responses in the comments the "dating world" especially in the west seems to be chaotic and mostly heading for a major crash- what happened? Its like interconnectivity of internet which is known to make all these things so convenient somehow made this topic far worse
@@Matanumi I think the main reason we hear things repeated is because there are always new people coming into this space who haven't heard it at all. It's like the safety lecture on a plane. If you've flown before you've heard it over and over but a first time or very infrequent flyer will be hearing it with news ears.
check your source bro
Let’s face it most people on here need more than just advice they need some damn therapy.
Solid. These are things my gf and I still do today. We both have our roles and we both love our solitude and self care but we are one hell of a team. I protect her physically, spiritually and emotionally and she makes me feel like the luckiest guy alive. I feel like having a solid foundation of self before trying to date is so key.
🥹 so happy for you. Thanks for sharing this!
I assume you had to be the one to ask her out
Good for you brother! I aspire to be just like that one day 👏😌
@@nobodysperfect06 it really didn’t go down as a so-called conventional “asked her out.” It started off as more of a friendship and mutual respect for one another. It organically blossomed into a relationship after about 4 months. We were both in healthy places and had done a lot of self work and realized we didn’t need one another, but it became clear that we wanted one another. 3 years later and we are best buddies and share life together. We still joke about not needing one another but I don’t know what I would do without her. That last parts between us on this platform 🤓
@@carlosam23282 I’ll tell you this much. It’s when I stopped chasing or thinking I needed someone to fulfill me and began just loving myself and heeling from trauma that life just began to change. I’m no guru on love but it has appeared to be the equation for me. The kicker here is I truly mean it when I say I wasn’t looking or chasing. There is something special about the art of letting go brother.
Thanks!
Thank you for all the help you offer. Was married for 35 years and lost my wife to Breast Cancer so that being said, I didn't have a clue of even where to start. You offer a moral way to look at all this without all the other things that make it seem almost dirty. Again Thank you
I am so sorry for your loss. Wishing you all the best 🤍 hugs!
Brother I am so sorry to hear this. God Bless you
So sorry for your loss chap
Spot on Courtney! Not a girl but reinforcing these gives guys a good blue print on how to be around girls in a positive and empowering way.
You are such a great woman Courtney. Your husband must be so proud to share his life with such an impossibly high quality lady like you. Your physical attributes are undeniably insanely over the top, but where you score most of your points is on the intelligence level. You are the definition of wife material.
Hey Courtney... I love watches - which is how I found Teddy's channel and discovered you via his channel. I'm also a business psychologist professor so human behavior absolutely fascinates me. I've watched a few of your videos and I have to say that your channel is so wonderful and valuable. Dating, relationships, human interaction, attraction etc are so fraught with "reading between the lines" and misunderstandings and miscommunications that you "deciphering" the human relationship and gendered behavior is a very noble act. Thanks for what you do.
OK. I'm listening. I'm in a new relationship that I'm hoping will be my last. So far, so great. I'm hoping to pick up some helpful pointers here to make it even greater down the line! 👍🏾 #subscribed
Great points Courtney. Mind games is a bad start to a healthy relationship. Safety and security is where she wants to feel that she can rely on you to defend her if a bad situation arises. Finances are important, the guy don’t need to be rich but can manage money well.
The problem there is you get some women that want bad risky situations 🚩
Courtney you are the Bomb!
You encapsulate everything needed/ required, Beauty, Intelligence, Integrity and so much more!
I've been watching you for a while and I don't often comment on videos, and just wanted to say that you are amazing and such a great resource. I'm 50 now but wow, if the advice you offer had been around in my 20s, I could have been spared so much heartbreak and wasted time. I'm getting it now, so better late than never. Thank you so much for helping some of us that are clueless in the "dating game". I've always been the nerdy geek type and women have always been a mystery to me. You are like the older sister I never had, only you are half my age. Haha. Thanks again.
Courtney, id love to see more long form videos with interviews of girls like you had made months back. Those are excellent and valuable information.
Yeah it just reinforces my mgtow mindset
I agree. But maybe different less shallow ladies. "Maybe 500 K.......is that to much"
@iamme25yagothey were just young, mature enough for their age. Do not hate on them.
No more entitled bimbos please.
Its goot to be pointed out that if a woman likes you you will know its not simply looking at you from huge distance, but also initiating conversation when you at least expect,directly revealing herself slowly from close distance basically 50 % of the way. Ive seen from past experience so many women not doing anything as effort and just sending mixed signals. Dating is such trash for years now and whoever has experience can recognise himself in it. Those are the types who will/are unhappy and will remain such .
Important thing is to shut the door after you and burn everything considered past and look in to the future only.
I am comfortable taking the lead, but I don't want to have to come up with everything all the time. Especially if she's lived in this town for 10 years and I've lived here for 1, hopefully she knows something interesting. Some people who want "someone to take the lead" are actually just completely uninteresting and have no ideas.
I find the good ones start suggesting stuff after 2nd date or so 😄
Exactly. I actually think it comes across a lazy. Seems harsh, but true. How nice to just show up and let the other person take all the risk if the venue sucks, or something happens. It’s 2023, decide together, it’s not hard.
Thank you for mentioning mental health. I sometimes feel like I'm struggling pretty hard mentally because of some stuff I've been diagnosed with. I used to feel ashamed about it thinking I could never be a strong partner or the man she needs some times. But I'm now doing therapy and exercising, meditating, taking care of myself overall. I'm staying on top of it and communicating what I need if it gets bad, but def taking personal charge of it. I feel like if someone like me were to land a real relationship with a great woman someday I would feel like the luckiest man on earth and fight to protect it by keeping myself as healthy as possible for me and for us. Anyway, just felt like expressing that thought as a reaction to your excellent video. Keep up the great work.
Great ‘flip of the script’ with this video @CourtneyRyan - the perfect complement to the previous video 👍🏼 Once again, a must watch for both women and men.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counsellor, and how do i reach her?
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.
My recommendation is read 3 percent man by coach Corey Wayne. She left you, so don't chase at all. Work to become the best you, and shockingly if it's meant to be, she'll come back if/when you are doing great without her. It sounds messed up, but female psychology is just that.
Me too a relationship of 7years but I just keep trying to get busy like work,gym and study for school.
@josephreglandShe was not the love of your life if she walked away. She might have been important to you for a part of your life, but the right one is the one that chooses you.
Hey Courtney, massive thanks for sharing all these insights! Your videos have been incredibly enlightening, especially amidst the aftermath of a tough breakup. Your discussions, especially around 'playing games' attracting toxicity, hit so close to home - I’ve seen that happen way too many times. Your reassuring words that 'if a woman likes you, you'll know’ are simplifying the complex world of dating in the best way. And diving into what women generally seek, like safety and emotional support, has been a real eye-opener, steering me towards being a better, more attentive partner in the future. You’ve got me reconsidering so many aspects of how I approach relationships and honestly, it’s been such a healthy, necessary reflection. Can’t wait to keep learning from your content!
Wonderful! I’m so glad you’re here 😊
Such great advice. #2 stuck out to me. I never waited to communicate with a woman to "play games", and I did it with the advice from some dating "experts" out there. They recommended this to show you aren't needy and to create some curiosity with the lady. Thank you.
5:26 the problem here is that most women pay you zero attention. They actively avoid you. And a lot of guys have NEVER, not a single time, had a girl express any interest whatsoever in them. So when you say "if she likes you, you'll know" it falls flat, because the firl that kept us around for validation or only because she wanted something or whatever, is the only one to EVER show interest. A guy thinks "wow she's paying all this attention to me! she even texts me back sometimes! She must really like me because rhis is the first girl who's ever treated me this well!"
And then she burns you and you become disillusioned. Thats the best you'd ever felt about a girl and now she's just discarded you like trash
OMG.. Wake up! As she said: You will know!
@@andersnielsen6044 You sound like a bot, plugging no-substance comments randomly... go back down your bot hole.
True, work on yourself. Maybe start with lower value girls.
while this is true, look I get it man, being emotionally neglected for years is debilitating and can fuck you up for most of your life. You have to understand this; you are not entitled to affection from other women, no one is, man or women. You do not "deserve" the affection of frankly, strangers.
And I know some ppl make it look so easy, I've been there smouldering in resentment as everyone else I knew had partners and romantic affairs and it felt like I was living as a side character who was friends with the mc of a 2nd rate romcom TV series, always on the sidelines and never in the limelight.
but, to be frank, you're coping. And the best way you can deal with that is to let it go and accept it. Don't go out looking for love if you know its a rigged or losing battle, don't jump at the chance for love and make a hasty decision and end up scorned or betrayed.
Push it to the side, the feeling of being lonely is temporary, so focus on yourself. Then once you are balanced and healthy then be open to love, and if you still get nowhere after that, at least you have something to show for it by being able to be proud of yourself; and you wouldn't have spent all that time self loathing, because no one gets a medal truthfully for suffering or being sad and lonely, the world won't spare you its pity. Because truthfully you are the only person holding yourself back, and only you can make a change for the better in your life
@@grahambuckingham7295even the lower value ones have an inflated sense of value these days.
Hi Courtney, I'am a happily married man for years and years. I'm old now but still enjoy your videos cause not only are you butifull and your voice so pleasant but you teach things I wish I had known when young. We've always had a great relationship, my wife and I.But still I wish I could of paid more attention and been more in the moment.Thank you for the memories and insight. I hope your husband knows how lucky he is.
Getting better every video. Love to see it. Open minded and good with speaking and expressing yourself keep up the great content. 👏
I will say this ever since I started going to therapy and clearing my mind and just past traumas Ive been doing better at work, my workouts, and just smiling more in life.
How much an hour though hell it's not even an hour 45 mins
@@hugh2hoob668 it's 60 for the hour for me. My therapist is super nice and it's been super helpful
So wonderful! Thanks for sharing!
@@aldente5429 I realized after my ex and I broke up that I need to work on myself in order to have a good relationship(btw we both were toxic). Ive done two years of work both mentally and just physically. Hell I was so mentally broken I was scared to run half marathons.Which I did a ton in college. Now though my mental is so much better Im ready to compete again.
@@aldente5429 I know brother trust me straight out of college graduated a semester late. Both of my jobs laid me off. Struggled for months just barely making it through with enough money saved. This coming from a guy where I was successful basically all my life had some failures but not as hard as the past 2 and half years.
That's very reasonable and just common sense. I did all these things, except I did not see the signs that she was really into me at 1st. Then I had to leave for a long business trip and when I returned we became a couple. She never played any games, nor did I. We are still together, and what I have learned. You attract who you are as a person.
Anyone who had to be told #1 has a long, uphill road of inner awareness
The only leading I’ve done is to make her goals achievable. Living a long strict lifestyle of studying she has a lot of dreams of traveling but not the means to achieve them alone.
Practically how we first started hanging out. 😊
Booking a two person trip without notice and I can either just let her go alone or ask for leave and go with her. We’re not even dating yet at this time.
I don’t think women make it subtle enough when they like you. My first thought would be, oh she’s just being nice cause she’s nice to people. I’ve had so many women tell my they weren’t into me, they were just being nice. So now I don’t take the chance. If you’re into me, you’re gonna have to tell me straight up now. No more games!
Trust me you will know if... !
@@andersnielsen6044 If you're right, then I've never met a woman who's into me, ever. I've never ever had that kind of interest from a woman.
0:22 - 1: Too sexual too soon
1:48 - sponsor, Better Help, therapy (your mental health is important yo!)
3:05 - 2: Playing games attracts toxic partners
4:36 - 3: If a woman likes you, she'll let you'll know
5:35 - 4: Safety and security. This includes, but means more than just finances.
8:05 - 5: Taking the lead and making decisions is sexy
This is some of the best input I've seen online in this space. This aligns closely with what women say in my social circle - top notch.
A women i dated told me she wants a leader.. a man in charge.. but every time i made decisions such as where to go on our date.. she always found a problem with it.. roller skating (no.. i dont want to skate and fall).. fancy restaurant (too expensive, even though IM always the one that pays anyways.).. chain restaurant (crackel barral) (no.. so much fried food there..)..
Picnic (no, mosquitoes are out there).. like.. come ON!!!
Effective communication would probably be the one I would struggle with the most. Thanks for doing this video, Courtney!
She touched base with becoming a gentleman. I need to work on that. I like that she said women aren’t interested in money, but I want to make money. Last year I saw a quote and it said “ if money is the problem, change the way you look at money.” I just want to be better and I want to achieve my goals.
Courtney, I've been binge watching your videos so far. It's like you were my girlfriend (a friend who's a girl) that I never had but always wanted. I'm glad I found your channel.
Public comment. Ms Courtney you are down to earth. I am happy and proud of you..God bless you. So much great information. ❤❤❤. No games .no red flags . Loyalty is royalty. Moral values and respect.
That would be Mrs.
"Women want to be caught, fish don't." Pure facts! 😄
But like a fish if you have the right bait, she will bite 😉
Hi Courtney. Been following you for a while and love your work. May I ask if you could consider doing a video on how to help single dads navigate the dating world. Maybe 5 things men with children could do to increase there luck landing a woman. Or how to make a woman feel more comfortable taking on a man with children. Keep up the good work. Thankyou
“The difference between a woman and a 🎣 is that women actually want to be caught.” Well said.
🫡
This, so much this. The fish fisherman example only makes sense if you are trying to trick/exploit a woman, not if you are actually giving her what she thinks you're giving her.
Except they can’t decide which big game charter they want
Woman want to be caught like a fish needs a bicycle
And yet they make every effort not to be caught...
Which really doesn't make them that much different than fish, does it?
If she really enjoys his company and digs him then it won't matter if he waits a week to text or call her again for the next date. That's the point. If she doesn't dig him then she won't care to hear from him again. The only reason it would bother her is because her interest level is going up.
I think it's great to bring up mental health. Too many people face these issues and put off getting help even though it's affecting their personal lives and their relationships with others. There is no shame in getting help.
Courtney have you thought of interviewing a few men on the topic of dating
struggles, kinda like what you did with the girls a few months ago?
You speak very well. I like listening to you speak, you pronounce all words very well. Thanks for advising the crowds Ms. Ma'am
Yea, nice job Courtney.
I would just like to add a little advice bout “chasing women”. I don’t chase a woman unless she wants to chase me. I need the give and take , the back and forth and of course the up and down!
4:25 that makes a lot of sense. Doing these rules attract the kinds of girls that look for dudes that won't care for them. Being caring and thoughtful as a default in how you carry yourself as a man will filter out the women who are good for you and the ones who are bad. If your approach is to hook up like what Courtney Ryan just said, recalibrate. Know your audience. Playing the field and rizzing girls up will most likely work in bars, clubs, raves, etc. Know when to apply which strategy appropriately depending on your life path.
I am really glad to discover this channel. Really helps me have an insight to improve social skills specially correct way to interaction with women.
I'm glad You Tube put your video in my feed. It tells me that I'm on the right path as far as the content I consume. I think your perspective is refreshing, classy, to the point and logical. Great work.
You are so kind! Thank you. I’m glad you’re here 😊
@@CourtneyRyanSuch a nice thing to say. Thanks Courtney. I'm glad to be here and I feel welcome.
- [00:25]🔥 Being too sexual too soon can be off-putting when dating. Building sexual tension gradually is more effective for developing a healthy relationship.
- [03:03] 🧠 Taking care of your mental health is essential. Therapy can provide tools for approaching life differently.
- [03:45]🎮 Playing mind games and waiting to text after a date can attract toxic relationships. Effective communication is key, and mature adults should avoid such games.
- [04:42] ❤ If a woman likes you, she will show it through communication, interest in your life, and clear signs. Confusion may indicate she's not interested or is playing games.
- [05:37]💰 Safety and security in a relationship go beyond just finances. It includes emotional support, trust, stability, protection, and more. Financial independence is important, but it doesn't require being a millionaire.
- [08:15] 💪 Taking the lead is attractive to women. Planning dates, making reservations, and showing initiative is appreciated and makes a positive impression.
I will tell you a story, I met a girl in 2003 in Florida, I am from NY. I was excited she seemed to like me which never happens. I knew I wanted to see her again but knew it would be awhile. She was very explicit about staying in contact with her through Email. Following her lead I emailed her good morning and emailed her at the end of the day telling her I hope she had a nice day. After a week of getting 2 emails a day saying good morning and hoping she had a nice day she accused me of being needy and abandoned any further contact.
I have anxiety on a daily basis and routine. Also, I suffer from stress and depression, because after losing my grandmother and my grandad. And which hurt most when I lost my Cousin so yes I suffer from my dark thoughts but I have God by my side and I have a wonderful girlfriend
Brother, that was me too. I use to be on anti depressants and still wake up with a ball of anxiety in my chest everyday. Also diagnosed with severe clinical depression and bi polar 2 disorder. All I did was start eating healthy, mostly vegetarian, got off processed sugars, started taking pro-biotics, hardly consume alcohol and I work out a bit. Not a gym rat at all, I just do simple stuff. I got off all the pharma pills and haven’t dealt with anxiety or depression since. That doesn’t mean there aren’t life situations that don’t cause a little stress and anxiety but I transmute that energy and do not let it define me. I suppose I will add that I have also dealt with all trauma all the way back from childhood. It helps to learn how to let go of pride and ego. Become vulnerable and begin to know thyself. You got this man!
So blessed to have this lady's advice!
I really like your content, it has helped me understand why love & romance just don't fit into my life, even though at one time I really wanted them & why my marriage ended in disaster & felt doomed from the first major crisis. I am just wired wrong for what women want, I thrive in controled chaos, being a productive talented human who makes my way in the world with the flexibility & drive to handle whatever it throws at me is very important to me, status games & using money to keep score & deriving my self worth by what others think of me are not important to me & I like myself the way I am, the ultimate goal in life is dieing the person you want to be. It is easy for me to accept now why women in general tend to like & respect me, while looking somewhere else for romance. I never really got it before, thanks.
Oh no, the hidden ad😢 2:00
#1, if you wait too long, she will assume you aren't interested and tell you "no chemistry".
I like that Courtney is straight up. "If a woman likes you you'll know"Know.
Gave me all I need to just keep it pushing.
Question: I met 2 girls a few months ago. Both roommates. I had a great interaction with both - more so with the girl I was really attracted to. Feelings were mutual in person. But over text - not so much. I ended up never going out with her after she flaked on me several times over text. I cancelled so many reservations! We don’t talk anymore, but her roommate is super into me. But I’m not into her like that, so how do I politely let her know I’m not interested and would rather be friends? She’s not taking any hints. And I’m still trying to get over the girl that never gave me the time of day. 😢
I recently had a woman tell me she always parks her car next to mine because I always park so neatly. Are there other things like this that women notice and care about?
Yeah, please do make part - 2 of this video if possible, Courtney Ryan ... this one also nice, helpful, informative video ... 👍.
Courtney! Thanks- Better help! - i got ptsd from something to do with my job in 2018. my job could potentially put me in same situation for real- i mean a life and death terrifying situation! The slight thought of it puts me in fight or flight mode for ages! I feel horrible:( today was this day and i need to make a decision to take on a job and potentially risk it although very small chance or just hide at home. Today was bad. I was fixated for hours on potentially what might happen. I think Maybe time for me to retrain.
A few years ago therapy helped me tame my physical responses but i feel its reversed. I need to look at therapy again if nothing else i thank you for that ! Thankyou!
Definitely appreciate your videos. As I’m working on myself
I really feel like the past couple of months, Courtney's videos have been a big step up in facilitating a healthy comment section :)
I hope she elaborates further on men "taking the lead". This is the only thing that still doesn't sit right with me. Imagine planning a first date, she has a food allergy/sensitivity that I'm not aware of, I take the lead and bring her to some place where there's nothing for her to eat. (For the record, this DID happen to me! She was lactose intolerant, I suggested ice cream, and she ate the ice cream and was miserable for it. I suffered a blow to the ego. She had actual digestion problems, so she had it worse in this situation. All was forgiven, but it was a wakeup call for both of us)
I could brainstorm a hundred scenarios like that where everything could go horribly wrong - that would all be solved by simple communication and not just me having to "Be the Man(tm)" and unilaterally make all the (wrong) decisions. Surely there's more to this concept!
In a case like that, asking something like "Do you have any allergies or food sensitivities I should know about?" may help.
I just say "how about Place X?" Then she can agree or tell me if there's a problem. Always seems to work.
@@billcynic1815 Absolutely! This one is obvious in retrospect. Just makes me sad that she didn't think she could advocate for herself because she felt like she was supposed to follow my lead.
@@billcynic1815 I was going to say this!
Yea... the big problem with "taking the lead" is when she says "I dont care, you pick" but then gets annoyed/angry when you dont pick something she wants....😑
Brutal
You say "How about X?" She can agree or suggest an alternative.
Too sexual is somewhat a tad too vague with some grey areas. If it’s texting pics and being creepy then yeah totally I agree.
I want to see if there is sexual compatibility or chemistry as early as 2 dates in, out of respect that I don’t want to waste my time and money on multiple dates and then find out where not compatible.
I am a tad confused with the don’t play mind games illusion - if I’m texting her a day after then I basically get the I’m too needy or clingy speech, I’m invested too much by wanting her attention, or perhaps I don’t have options that’s why I’m texting her.
Also, I’m curious, doesn’t taking the lead signify that you’re placing her on a pedestal trying too hard to win her affections?
Text right away to say "That was great!" But keep it short. It only looks needy when you send multiple and long texts in a short space of time without her replying.
Taking the lead in where to go on a date is not placing her on a pedestal.
Re sexual chemistry, I definitely want a kiss on the second date latest 😄 but I think it's obvious right away if you fancy each other.
That was fantastic information. It really cleared up a few things.
All good advice. My biggest issue is actually finding a woman in the first place. It's impossible. I've tried all the dating sites, social groups, hobbies and interests etc. There is no one at all that I've even been able to approach. Two years looking!
No one that you're attracted to?
@@simontmn Quite a lot, but they're all married or got partners already. Or they are filling their boots on the dating sites with all the male players. There are no normal single women anywhere. My age range doesn't help I guess. I'm about 50.
@@markblackhurst6925 I'm 50 too. Many women our age are no longer attractive ofc.
@@markblackhurst6925 I am almost 60, this is why I date young...like 40! 😂
@@visaman Wish I could! I'm a bit of an ugly git.
Totally true.
How to tell when you're taking the lead or being pushy? Hope you have a video on this topic.
It's pretty easy; if you have the 3 6's, you're taking the lead; if not, you're being pushy.
Thank you Courtney Ryan! Heyy Courtney what is different between Friendly smile vs Flirt Smile?? Im confused.
Every video is high quality, efficient, and most importantly effective on this channel
Great list, but I disagree with 4. I never could tell if a woman liked me and there were many times I thought they did, but boy was I wrong. It's best never to assume you know what somebody else thinks or feels.
Another fantastic video Courtney. You're doing a great job! 😊
Great content and distinction for how to attract a non-toxic woman. Thank you
Thank you so much for the information I appreciated 😊
Planning and taking the lead can be extremely challenging for neurodiverse individuals with executive functioning deficits like myself. But even aside from that, you as a woman never have to think about how exhausting it is to have keep planning date after date after date when none of them lead to anything anyway. For you, sure it's disappointing that there wasn't enough chemistry or whatever, but oh well just on to the next free (for you) fancy dinner. For us, it's extremely mentally exhausting to have to frequently put all the energy into planning yet another date that will most likely just end in another "thanks but no thanks" like all the others before it did. So how about instead once you first show me that I'm not just wasting my time for the seventeen thousandth time, and that's when I'll put some effort into planning a date.
I believe in the communication thing and it’s sad so many other dating coaches say wait. To me it says more women are toxic than not
Another amazing video thank you
God bless you for offering real, thorough, well-intended, often much-needed good advice to men like me, who can really use it. Lol. Prolonged loneliness causes anything from depression to suicide, to violent acting out. Not saying that people shouldn't be able to handle their own, but I wish more people had a conscience enough to offer their wisdom as well. Spread love not hate... 😊
I thought a woman liked me. Dated for a bit before I moved but turned into a long term thing. Both busy, but don't have my kids, she has hers. Brought up this past weekend that I was starting to not feel like a priority at all to her. Had made a trip down to see my kids. Stayed a bit longer to see her despite having to drive 6 hours back to get ready for work the next day. Been asking when she was going to come up. Have asked three times now and got told that she finally checked her calendar and picked a weekend that wasn't even a possibility and had already told her that. Continued to let her know how I was feeling about how the infrequent texts, the know consideration to call me and talk to me about the visit plan, and some others things were contributing to this feeling. Was just fed excuses that she was busy so no accountability. No validation of feelings. Just I'm busy. So I walked away.
1. Understandable.
2. Definitely.
3. Yep!
4. Yep! This cuts both ways!
5. Ugh. I hate taking the lead.
Dont agree with a lot of your videos but this one is a solid one. Its your channel and you can word things the way you want to...but a better way to put the second point is that not playing the waiting game will filter out girls that dont like you that much or have so much emotional baggage that they need games to become attracted to a guy.
Totally agree with safety outside of finances
There is only thing men need to know: it's either FUCK YES! or move on. Don't chase, don't try to win her. When she's really into you road will be really smooth, almost effortless, she won't care about you mistakes and break her rules for you.
Yeah, probably the best advice. Watching these videos, you hear "man you should do this, man you should do that". Fuck that. If a girl is really into you, everything would be smooth from the start. Otherwise, forget about her and look for a new one.
Yes part 2 please Courtney
Somehow that Kelsey Cook quote comes to mind when it comes to dating: "If you get divorced and you start trying to date again, it's like having to come back out of retirement."
The second one really hits. My god, the amount of “dating coaches” on social media is sickening. They literally exploit desperate people (usually men) to make money. Because, you know, ALL of them have a course or two the “guarantee” success. It’s sad. Seriously… use your common sense and stop overthinking dates and romance. You had a good time? Let her know. You have a date coming up? You can talk to her in between dates. If you feel like you can’t text them more than twice a day… you need help haha and if she ghosts you because of any of these, good. That means she didn’t waste your time. Because she wasn’t the type of girl you wanna date. Trust me. I’ve dated one of those. You’re never exclusive to them. They will never respect you because they’re toxic and only wanna be disrespected. Be a stand up guy. But keep your self respect.
I've been understanding of these things, and have NOT been the undesirable aspects of these things, and I'm middle aged, and still have no dating experience. Still haven't met someone with my value system, which is a reasonable value system.
Im a women and although your videos are aimed at men mostly, I actually find them very useful and agree with almost everything, you give solid advice for men. I wish there was a dating coach like you for women, but the ones for women seem to advise on all this game playing silliness
Important things: 0:23 First Thing - Too Sexual Too Soon = The Ick; 3:04 Second Thing - Playing Games Attracts Toxic Woman; Third Thing; 4:36 Third Thing - If A Woman Likes You, You Will Know; 5:32 Fourth Thing - Safety And Security Are More Just Than Money; 8:03 Fifth Thing - Taking The Lead Makes Woman Melt; and 9:47 to summarize all the told here.
I can also say that some of these similar things that you told about the men Courtney, they can also apply to women as well.
As for me, you can make a part two of the videos. I don't know what will others say
Thank you so much Courtney ❤💙🤍.
I came here for the summary and you sir are the ‘King of Agraba’
@@jamiegustafson371 Thank you sir.
Greetings from Balkan Peninsula.
P.S. My favorite cartoon is Aladdin.
I love your channel so far
Thank god for this video. I feel like I'm not insane anymore. Male dating coaches online can fill you with toxicity and have you thinking perfectly normal behaviour is abnormal.
I loved your video! Thank you sooo much!❤❤
As a woman, I approve 100% of all of these 👌🏻
Then you fall in love with the most toxic man ever because you are a woman after all
My curiousness is peaked, however. What would you recommend to guys in their 20s that have almost no prospect of finding anything but toxic? The world we live in breeds co-dependence, especially for daughters without fathers, or rough parental marriages. It seems they vastly outnumber those looking for a serious relationship.
@@CatGamer-wc2ij why would you say that guys in their 20s have almost no prospect of finding anything but toxic? It all depends on your mindset. I know it sounds cliché, but becoming the person who you would like to attract goes a long way in my opinion. You attract what you give out to the world. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself, and the right person will come along 😊
I had asked a question but it got answered back with a question. So when I answer, please answer mine.
For men it takes time to become that person even an average woman wants, let alone the woman they want to attract. A LOT of time.
The vast majority of men that say want to attract an upper middle woman, i.e., not reaching out of their league, cannot attract them in their 20s. Only 10% of men make 100k, which is the average an upper middle woman view as successful and competent. And we make that predominately in our 30s and up. (Economics prohibits all men from becoming top earners.) It takes years to get a degree that's worth something. It takes a decade to develop self-confidence and self-worth.
Women really don't understand how much effort it takes a guy that isn't say Chris Hemsworth. This is because most of their value for a mate is assigned by biology. I'm not saying either is good, because I would hate to be valued only for my looks (Or height...) But the point is, there is a reason 30 percent of men (which is rising) are not getting with women in years in their 20s.
@@Stefita83
You state all this as true, But let a muscular, attractive 6' tall, George Clooney type man just enter the room walk up to you and say something sexual nature and you'll go to the bathroom w/o a 2nd thought and have fun.
Yep, this advice was helpful thank you Courtney.
Always can count on you for sensible advice. Love your channel 🙌