5 Things I Wish Women Knew About Men

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  • Опубліковано 20 вер 2024
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 693

  • @CourtneyRyan
    @CourtneyRyan  11 місяців тому +21

    Use code COURTNEY50 to get 50% off your first Factor box at bit.ly/3Rf9BlV
    Thanks Factor for sponsoring!

    • @taasmr4203
      @taasmr4203 11 місяців тому +2

      I as a guy totally agree with you, Courtney.

    • @JuanMoreno-wo5yb
      @JuanMoreno-wo5yb 11 місяців тому +4

      Courtney: Too bad not that many women will hear this great advise. I hope your channel or another channel you create will get these and other ideas across to women. I actually have thought of advertising that I would pay women to spend like an hour a day just being a friend and not looking for any type of hookups. ❤

    • @Alex19II
      @Alex19II 11 місяців тому +1

      Women from gen. X think that men don’t have feelings and we, millennials, think that women don’t have real feelings, only shallow emotions. And I think we are both right to some extent.

    • @thetownleys
      @thetownleys 11 місяців тому

      You have wtf you have cuz they said you could have it.
      Don't ever fucking forget it

  • @ajtaylor8750
    @ajtaylor8750 11 місяців тому +388

    "I shouldn't have to ask" is a very immature mindset. How else can a woman or anyone get what they want unless they speak up? As the saying goes, "Closed mouths don't get fed." I LOVE when a woman communicates EXACTLY what she wants, what she's feeling, or tells me something I did wrong so we can fix it.

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  11 місяців тому +53

      Agreed! 🎯

    • @postmodernmining
      @postmodernmining 11 місяців тому +4

      ​@@iamme25yagosometimes the mother kicks them out of the nest to die

    • @laraantipova389
      @laraantipova389 11 місяців тому +5

      But men use this to paint women in a corner because when she says “can you please start putting away your things and picking up after yourself I’m getting exhausted working full-time and doing all the cleaning for two.” He can switch to “she is ‘nagging.’” No one should have to be asked to do the most basic stuff like clean up after themselves, whether they are a man or a woman.

    • @MustbeTheBassest
      @MustbeTheBassest 11 місяців тому +8

      ​@@laraantipova389counter point, different people have different levels of tidyiness.
      If I am fine with clothes on the bed or floor then you do need to tell me that you aren't okay with it. Otherwise, I will assume that you are also perfectly happy with it. Because many people honestly are lol

    • @laraantipova389
      @laraantipova389 11 місяців тому

      @@danielallan8061 I mean I see what you’re saying, and at the same time NO WAY women are messier. When I was in college I went in Wales and we had a building with 9 flats 7br per flat. About 50ish buildings. I swear there were these men that didn’t take out their garbage (from the first floor for 6 months). Then I found out this is a regular thing with men. It’s called a sad boy house. Just based on that I can tell every study is going to show women are cleaner.

  • @ccstan27
    @ccstan27 9 місяців тому +36

    I still remember a compliment a stranger gave me 20 years ago. Never underestimate the power of a compliment.

  • @lukers9819
    @lukers9819 11 місяців тому +31

    "Men have insecurities too" resonated with me so much. Several years ago, when my soon to be girlfriend told me that I seemed to have my life all together, I told her about some of my biggest failures and insecurities. She reacted by putting her trust in me because of my honesty. I am now truly blessed to be married to her. My wife is my biggest supporter, even when I am going through a particularly hard time and I don't feel worth supporting. She doesn't excuse mistakes that I make (nor should she), but I never have to doubt that she still loves me. I will love and support her with the rest of my life, no matter the hardships we go through. She means so so much to me.

  • @kevinfasciano6314
    @kevinfasciano6314 11 місяців тому +72

    Courtney really is such a class act. What I like about her channel, is that she's definitely not siding with men, or just trying to earn points, so-to-speak. What the goal here, is, is holding both parties accountable, which is hugely important in a society that intends to make strides.

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  11 місяців тому +21

      You have no idea how much this means to me! Thank you 🥹

    • @kevinfasciano6314
      @kevinfasciano6314 11 місяців тому +1

      @@CourtneyRyan I'd be happy to do some Q&As with you for a future video! A good video idea might be doing Q&As with viewers in the comments...

    • @paulbradshaw8878
      @paulbradshaw8878 11 місяців тому

      @@CourtneyRyan 9:43

    • @Acess-1bx
      @Acess-1bx 7 місяців тому +1

      💮💮💮💮🧠🤍​@@CourtneyRyanyour the best One I can ever found in my entire life Your worth Everything Anyone can ever Admire💮💮💮💮🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮💮

    • @Acess-1bx
      @Acess-1bx 7 місяців тому +1

      ​​@@CourtneyRyanYour Most Most Welcome Ever. ✓ ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤💮💮🤍

  • @reflective6602
    @reflective6602 11 місяців тому +101

    When "I shouldn't have to ask, you should just know." morphed into "If you really loved me, you would..." I knew it was time for that relationship to end.

  • @gabrieleparise2397
    @gabrieleparise2397 11 місяців тому +95

    It's so encouraging to hear your words, it's so rare to hear a woman simply understand that men are also life forms that have feelings like everyone else. Men and women are not enemies, but respect and mutual understanding are the key to a healthy and successful relationship, in my opinion.

  • @JD_Mapes
    @JD_Mapes 11 місяців тому +100

    Being in a 10 year marriage where my ex-wife never complimented me, was always highlighted when others complimented me. I didn't realize how much I needed her words to build that part of our relationship. Post divorce, therapy and a new girlfriend has opened my eyes to how important and vital receiving compliments are to my daily. I don't seek them but I definitely notice when I get them because I don't know how to respond to them. Great tip, but it goes both ways for sure.

    • @LordHolley
      @LordHolley 11 місяців тому +7

      I completely agree. Taking the time to genuinely compliment your significant other is a vital part of making it last.

    • @28yearsoldd
      @28yearsoldd 11 місяців тому

      @@iamme25yago I remember last hug from girl 13 years ago.

    • @JACQUEZJOHNSON23
      @JACQUEZJOHNSON23 11 місяців тому +2

      ​@@28yearsolddholy damn I felt this on a personal level

    • @coolsteve1985
      @coolsteve1985 11 місяців тому +2

      When a woman gets complimented they either get upset with you or they forget the compliment like 10 minutes later because they get compliments all the time. When men get compliments we remember that for the rest of our lives because we very rarely get compliments. I know I very rarely get compliments from women but whenever I do it makes me feel good and I remember that for a life time. Haha

    • @karantikoo9302
      @karantikoo9302 10 місяців тому +1

      @@28yearsoldd , 10 years+ here

  • @Harikejn
    @Harikejn 11 місяців тому +102

    Important things: 0:42 First Thing - Men Have Feelings Too; 4:16 Second Thing - Men Aren't Mind Readers; 5:52 Third Thing - Men Like Compliments Too; 7:37 Fourth Thing - Playing Hard To Get Is A Turn Off; 9:58 Fifth Thing - Men Are Looking More Than Sex; and 10:39 to summarize all the told here.
    What you have told there Courtney, that is so true. All of them for me were just wow. I might add one sad thing. And before I say it I have to apologize to men, and women that are reading this. But what is sad is that there is lack of empathy. Unfortunately, we can see it in either men, and either women. Meaning to say some people don't have, and don't show empathy at all (honor exceptions). Sad, but it's true.
    Among the all told here I might add few other things. And those are: Sixth Thing - Men Like To Get Support; and Seventh Thing - Men Like Also To Get Help As Well; Eight Thing - Men Also Seek The Maturity; Ninth Thing - Men Also Seek Someone Who Can Rely On. But these things that I have mentioned can be partly used in Fifth Thing Men Are Looking More Than Sex. Why? Because, the sex is not the only thing that is important. The commitment is also very important for both sides, and also for good relationship (believe it or not).
    Thank you very much for this Courtney. That means a lot 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰.
    The color of your eyes goes well with the pattern of the dress 👏👏👏👏👏👏.
    La perfection madam❤💙🤍.

    • @GregXHunterz
      @GregXHunterz 11 місяців тому +3

      One of the few videos that needs to be seen.

    • @redlt194
      @redlt194 11 місяців тому +2

      Thanks for the summary!

    • @Bloodcurling
      @Bloodcurling 11 місяців тому

      No need for the table of contents.
      If you don't have time for a 11:30 video, maybe don't watch.

    • @Harikejn
      @Harikejn 11 місяців тому +3

      @@Bloodcurling Some people do like that table of contents.
      If you don't like seeing the table of content, maybe don't read, and don't reply.
      Thank you for understanding.

  • @therealunclesam8975
    @therealunclesam8975 11 місяців тому +37

    To play devil’s advocate on the communication topic, as a man I also have a hard time with communicating my needs. I’ve learned that a lot of it stems from my experiences where any time I tried to voice my concerns or thoughts I was shut down or told I was being “dramatic” or “whiny.” I’ve come to believe that people who struggle with communicating with others likely have been punished in the past for speaking up and not just going along with what the other person says.
    That being said, it still falls on me to acknowledge this about myself and work towards overcoming it.

    • @bittersweetindustryexecutive
      @bittersweetindustryexecutive 11 місяців тому +1

      @TheRealUncleSam89
      Thanks for sharing!
      You just admitting to this on this channel spells like you ARE actually changing.
      You just acknowledged this about yourself. So kudos for that! That's ALWAYS the first step. So congrats, you've made it to level 1.
      You can't expect to win the game if you don't entertain the entry level.
      That being said, I am a really good communicator now. But that hasn't always been the case. I always had the gift of the gab but it rarely pertained to my feelings, emotions and concerns.
      The thing that helped me kickstart this whole journey (and might help you as well) is learning how to deal with the consequences.
      If I express my concerns to someone and they immediately brush it off or don't take it too seriously, I don't HAVE to think that my concerns are invalid. What about them seriously lacking in the listening department. Or them NOT knowing what to say next and basically don't know how to communicate themselves.
      And also, try and work on any self-worth, self-esteem issues. These are usually very closely tied in to a lack of assertive and direct comnunication. Simply put, if you (kearn to) care about yourself enough to express what's bothering you, you will eventually stop caring about whether they are gonna stop liking you for speaking up. And who are THEY than for not caring about your concerns? Are they THAT special? Probably not!
      So just start cracking and use this channel (which, thanks to Courtney, is slowly becoming a safe space for men to express themselves anywhichway) to share your progress.
      Remember, If I can do it, you can do it too. I was in the same boat with you years back.
      Sincerely wishing you the best of luck!
      Cheers!✌

    • @LisaFenton-h7f
      @LisaFenton-h7f 8 місяців тому

      I think you're RIGHT on where the challenges in communicating needs comes from==for BOTH men & women. And yes, WE have to work on that,

  • @hrobky
    @hrobky 11 місяців тому +26

    0:44 men have feelings too
    4:17 men aren't mind-readers
    5:53 men like compliments too
    7:38 playing hard to get is a turn off
    10:01 men are looking for more than just sex

    • @Erick-di9gm
      @Erick-di9gm 11 місяців тому +3

      And we don't like tests!

    • @NotApplicaple
      @NotApplicaple 11 місяців тому +1

      no Cliff Notes please

    • @Danny328DT
      @Danny328DT 11 місяців тому +2

      ​@@Erick-di9gmI always said that is something women have to get over as they become adults. People have busy lives, and don't have time to waste with people who keep making them second guess their actions.

  • @benliftin4awhile
    @benliftin4awhile 11 місяців тому +14

    Men aren’t less emotional, they are just told not to be by society, and the worst part is there aren’t too many people out there telling you to hide your emotions, my dad never taught me that, it’s the look in the eyes of people I know when I’ve let my pathetic side show that taught me, the pure lack of attraction that has left a woman’s face when I’ve broken down. It’s the evidence that nobody cares, and even worse, you’re a blight if you need anything emotionally, that makes us suppress our emotions.

    • @SPMinerva
      @SPMinerva 11 місяців тому

      This is true. Just look how many phrase encapsule men not to be emotional, boys dont cry, weak, and the current buzzterms are stoic where dont show any emotions are emphasized. It seeemed like society want men to be psychopath who dont have feelings

    • @benliftin4awhile
      @benliftin4awhile 11 місяців тому +1

      @@davidhenryhudson3102 well ya I do agree, I guess what I meant was men are much more emotional than people would have you believe.

    • @Arander92
      @Arander92 11 місяців тому

      @davidhenryhudson3102
      Thanks for the pointless, unhelpful comment David👍🏾

    • @NormanF62
      @NormanF62 11 місяців тому +1

      I’m not into my emotions and very few things make me feel sentimental and vulnerable and I realise upon reflection, what I’ve lost will never come back to me so I don’t dwell upon it. When a man is thinking of nothing, that’s his safe space where the world can be tuned out. Life is hard and taking a break from it makes it a lot easier to address when we return to dealing with it again. Not every problem has a solution but they keep life from getting boring or routine. That’s what being a man is all about.

  • @Z25MikeD
    @Z25MikeD 11 місяців тому +62

    Truth! Thanks Courtney for again being positive and conveying a unifying message here! Enough of this Women or Men are terrible nonsense!

  • @ericsmith8597
    @ericsmith8597 11 місяців тому +17

    I am 50 and felt like my view of relationships was so obvious to me, yet no one else seemed to have the same viewpoint. Then I found you, Courtney. It is so refreshing to hear someone share wisdom that is so on point. I am sitting here completely agreeing with what you have to say.

  • @greywolf6146
    @greywolf6146 11 місяців тому +10

    Men aren't mind readers! Yes! I had this exact conversation with one of my female coworkers today about anniversary gifts. I said tell us what you want and we will give it to you. She disagreed and and told me husbands/boyfriends should know their partners well enough to find a gift that is appropriate and what they want. Just telling us what they want doesn't make it special. Why does it have to be so difficult?

    • @Threesixtyci
      @Threesixtyci 11 місяців тому

      Because she hasn't a clue what she wants... that's why.

    • @kingofthejungle2894
      @kingofthejungle2894 6 місяців тому

      Yes men are not mindreaders, but sorry, you sound lazy.
      The joy of receiving a gift from a loved one, is that somebody has put in the thought and paid enough attention to you in order to know what you like. There is also the joy of looking forward to being surprised on their birthday.
      Why would she order a gift from you, if she can simply order on Amazon?

  • @jlh4jc
    @jlh4jc 11 місяців тому +13

    In my experience, a woman playing hard to get is just too emotionally draining. False hope is more hurtful than a hard no.

    • @JuanMoreno-wo5yb
      @JuanMoreno-wo5yb 11 місяців тому +2

      The last girl I really liked and hope we could get things going was like a weird fisherman. I got hooked, reeled in a bit and then the line slacked off and I was reeled in again after I didn’t feel the same as at first. I noticed some game playing and a big lack of communication which was a large turn off for me. She is very attractive but I have to keep the communication part in mind more than anything. Without communication there is no way to build trust, without trust there is no way to build love. Oh well… I am sure there are lessons that I am yet to learn from that situation and I am working on me now much more. ❤

    • @Criner05
      @Criner05 11 місяців тому +1

      They're also narcissistic.

  • @gaylenmiller
    @gaylenmiller 11 місяців тому +4

    "Words of affirmation" is one of my "love languages". So saying "thanks" and other statements of appreciation really mean far more than the mere words would indicate. A statement of "I really respect the way you can deal with XYZ" might bring me to tears. I can feel parched and dry like a man in the desert and encouragement like this is like falling face first into an oasis. If a woman is not feeling loved, these compliments might be harder to say. But affirmations can trigger the connection that women desire.

  • @Vegaswill714
    @Vegaswill714 11 місяців тому +10

    All of Courtney's points are dead spot-on. Ladies, if you heed this advice it will make the world a happier place for all. Men and women need to be more patient with each other!

  • @KhronosTrigger
    @KhronosTrigger 11 місяців тому +1

    Told my Wife if she ever has something wrong she needs to step up and talk about it instead of trying to give hints or cold shoulder etc because when she does that I’ll just ignore her.
    My Mother did the same thing when I was a kid. Would get angry at me, not say anything, would withhold feeding me as a child and would always say “you should just know”. If she would ask me if I knew something or how I didn’t know something, I’d ask if she ever taught me how to do it or told me about it, “No” was her favorite answer.
    Mothers don’t teach their kids, Fathers do. The only thing my Mother really “taught” me was to cook, and that was just from watching her and being forced as a kid/teen to cook for myself.
    My Wife is surprised I can cook so well.

  • @TheCasualHazeFox
    @TheCasualHazeFox 11 місяців тому +5

    100% Agree with your points here. Those basic 5 points sum up a ton of men's issues with even finding a partner and how women have become so closed off from men's needs/wants. We're expected to be receptive far more than they tend to be.

  • @kevinc1593
    @kevinc1593 11 місяців тому +6

    At times we can be carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders, and you’d never know it. What is most important to us is that you feel safe, and cared for. We tend to hide our emotions, because of this; not because emotions are a weakness, but showing them at the wrong time or to the wrong lady take away her feeling of safety.

    • @homiesenatep
      @homiesenatep 11 місяців тому +1

      Yup, the world preys on our emotions because simply we “can’t show it”
      The world is trash on men’s emotions. We must show it only to people we trust

  • @Shageta456
    @Shageta456 11 місяців тому +30

    Thank God Courtney made a video like this that's aimed for women. It's honestly really refreshing for her to A. Have the backs of all her men followers like me and B. Give healthy advice to the 5% of women that follow her. Hopefully a video like this will help her attract more women in a positive way.

    • @DKon3
      @DKon3 11 місяців тому

      Hey Shageta456! Im actually not sure if these videos are aimed for women. As a man i 100% agree with her points but i dont know if they 1) reach many women and if they do 2) many women agree with it. What do you think ? 🙂

    • @zachmiller6941
      @zachmiller6941 11 місяців тому

      Unfortunately i think it'll just fall on deaf ears

    • @LisaFenton-h7f
      @LisaFenton-h7f 8 місяців тому

      I'm a woman & while I've only listened to Courtney for about 2 months, I think s'he's a real breath of fresh air! This was a GREAT video & it's "flip" What Men Need to Know About Women is just as good.

    • @Shageta456
      @Shageta456 8 місяців тому

      @@LisaFenton-h7f I agree and very well said.

  • @QMS9224
    @QMS9224 11 місяців тому +2

    7:40 yes playing hard to get as a game specifically isn't fun. However I do like when they are hard to get, in terms of having strong boundaries and being authentically themselves. I love chasing a girl who is genuinely hard to get bc she values herself, takes care of herself, only gives herself to specific people and not everyone. I like the challenge of proving that I can meet her standards, but there's a huge difference between actually being hard to get because you are valuable, and "playing" hard to get

  • @cameronbodell7985
    @cameronbodell7985 11 місяців тому +7

    So refreshing to hear empathy, compassion, and balance of perspective as suggestions for relationships. Even as a married man, I can never stop growing in how to communicate. Your content continues to strengthen my marriage. Keep up the good work.

  • @infinitedurr
    @infinitedurr 11 місяців тому +17

    Relevant thing to note: expecting people to read your mind is a sign of an insecure attachment style, and thus, wounding that needs healing. Securely attached people have no issue asking for what they need

    • @LisaFenton-h7f
      @LisaFenton-h7f 8 місяців тому

      Good point that really needed t be said. People--BOTH women & men--need to bhhe clear about what their Attachment style is and, if NOT a Secure one, then, get therapy & address it!

  • @puremaledark8305
    @puremaledark8305 11 місяців тому +5

    I think the worst relationship experience I ever had,as a man, was a girl that never gave complements or appreciated what i did for her. God, it felt horrible. At the end of the day, i asked myself “why am i even trying here”

  • @joaquin67
    @joaquin67 11 місяців тому +4

    At 31 years old, I was told for the first time in my life from a woman who I wasn't in a relationship with, that I'm handsome. It like, finally validated that I'm not bad looking. It was also a random woman on reddit who gave me feedback on my pictures.

    • @BLACKAAROW
      @BLACKAAROW 11 місяців тому +3

      when I was 27 (i'm 29 now) I was at the post office waiting in line to submit my passport application, when I went up to the counter to submit my paperwork an older Asian woman in her 50's looked at my passport photo and said I was handsome. This was the first time in my life that I got a compliment from someone other than my mom. it felt really good but after about 5 minutes I really started to get depressed at the notion that it took this long to get one single compliment. and to think most women today get this on a daily basis

    • @joaquin67
      @joaquin67 11 місяців тому +1

      @@BLACKAAROW yeah same dude. And it’s funny because they complimented it indirectly, at our photo, and also someone that is not in our age range or location.. but supposedly men have a better dating value around 30 because we have some financial stability and a little more settled

  • @pepa007
    @pepa007 11 місяців тому +2

    I noticed over the years that almost all women say they want men to be "emotionally mature", want to "encourage vulerability", etc. But it's really dangerous territory, because it plants seeds of subconsious doubt. Women will say they're glad you shared your fears and insecurities with them, but without realizing it, it will also do damage to the way they see you. They subconsiously still want someone who can protect them and take care of the family in all situations, and suddenly they see some weak points where you wouldn't be able to do so, and the image is shattered. You may say only weak women think and act that way, but it's much more complicated and the power of subconsious even in strong, mentally mature women is greatly underestimated (even by themselves). My 2 cents: be extremely careful with what you share, it can destroy even the strongest relationships, unfortunately.

  • @chrialivest
    @chrialivest 11 місяців тому +2

    Standing slow cap
    👏 … 👏 … 👏 … 👏 … 👏 … 👏 … 👏
    I don’t say this in a mean way, to sound condescending, or to be facetious. I say it with the best intentions and in the most appreciative way.
    Thank you for this video.
    I hope this video goes viral.

  • @kennethsmith2030
    @kennethsmith2030 11 місяців тому +1

    the fact you admitted to point #2 just blew my mind i think every man has been hit with the IM FINE face lol and be lost at how to respond. maybe its me but yea kudos that's growth

  • @anthonyw5261
    @anthonyw5261 11 місяців тому +14

    Glad more women are subscribing. Really great information for better relationships on this channel 👏👏👏

  • @ilai7893
    @ilai7893 11 місяців тому +2

    I think point #1 needs to be expanded... not just knowing and accepting male emotions but appreciating it. It might be too engrained into our DNA but many women still can't view male vulnerability as anything other than weakness, even with the calling of stoic males as "toxic". Something's gotta change

    • @LisaFenton-h7f
      @LisaFenton-h7f 8 місяців тому

      TRUTH. As a woman (& a feminist--a feminist who's long tried to see how "gedr boxes" ALSO limit MEN as well as women). youve made a sad but, true observation. Some women have no patience for men's emotions--or worse, see them as "weak". BEING THE MOST WHOLE HUMAN we can be--both men & women0-- ought to be the goal. And supportive partners can help us reach that.

  • @BrentJohn
    @BrentJohn 11 місяців тому +2

    Another point I think is really important to realize is that psychological/emotional abuse can be just as harmful, and even worse, than physical violence. It doesn't always take a physically strong person to destroy a person.

  • @juanderuano8969
    @juanderuano8969 11 місяців тому +38

    Great video. I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i don't know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her

    • @juanderuano8969
      @juanderuano8969 11 місяців тому

      wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?

    • @juanderuano8969
      @juanderuano8969 11 місяців тому

      Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.

  • @gregberkowitz3667
    @gregberkowitz3667 11 місяців тому +1

    Spot on Courtney! I like the realness, straight to the point, no bologna video content you always create. It is extremely refreshing. Your realness about relationships and life advice serves both men and women very well.

  • @mar4kl
    @mar4kl 11 місяців тому +1

    Thank you for this video, Courtney!
    "Men have emotions, too." - Yes, we do, but many women don't know this about us because most of us have been taught from a very early age not to wear our emotions on our sleeves.
    "...people hear the word 'emotional' and automatically assume it to be a negative thing..." - This is because when a lot of people, especially men, hear someone being described as "emotional", the image that pops up in their minds is of a dramatic or even histrionic display of emotions, not merely that the person feels happiness, sadness, anger, etc.
    "...I think women can be very hurtful sometimes with how they talk about men..." - I think some women feel a need to see men as emotionally immature, out of touch or even vapid. Men are generally stronger than women physically, and if women can see themselves as superior emotionally, then that levels the playing field in their minds. Not all women need that -- my wife never did -- but as you say, there are plenty of men and women who have insecurities.
    "Men like compliments, too." - True! However, I think the reason that some women think men don't appreciate compliments has to do with the way they're delivered. Remember KISS. No, I don't mean that men require physical thank-yous, although those are always appreciated in the right time and place. I mean "Keep It Simple, Sweetheart." Men are embarrassed by a cheering squad (sports teams' cheerleaders are there for the crowd, not the athletes), an over-the-top deluge of compliments comes off as insincere, and a shower of excited praise, especially delivered in a higher-than-normal voice and small words such as a mother might use when complimenting her 5-year-old child is embarrassing. A simple "thank you" is often enough. Something like "Wow, fixing that shower handle is really going to make my mornings easier, thank you so much, I love you!" feels like we've just found a gold vein.

  • @yvesgysel9834
    @yvesgysel9834 11 місяців тому +5

    I am so impressed with your latest videos. You truly get to understand men. Most men are not bad and have feelings, too (we just do not show it that easily). Well done, Courtney. Keep up the good work.

  • @briar35981
    @briar35981 11 місяців тому +11

    Your efforts are highly appreciated. We as men understand how life is and what it has to offer us. We understand we will just keep our heads down, grinding away at life knowing we have recourse only to God. I was taught this as a young man and have watched it through out my life.

  • @flameoftherisen6334
    @flameoftherisen6334 Місяць тому

    Everything you've said makes sense. My last relationship didn't really show that for the last couple of years. You would think that being together 15 years having a child and 2 marriages in different countries would mean something. I was always expected to read her mind, do what she wants without asking, never complimented basically everything you've said happened to me

  • @katomarii22
    @katomarii22 11 місяців тому +3

    I really appreciate your advice and wisdom. You're very mature/wise, and I find myself learning a lot from you. Although, I am pretty young, I find myself to be very mature for my age. You still bring up plenty of points that I sometimes dont even consider. Not this video in particular, but some of your other videos. Ive learned a lot from you and im able to become a more understanding and mature man. Thanks for your videos

  • @deanthroop8054
    @deanthroop8054 11 місяців тому +3

    Quickest way to end a potential relationship is to play games. First hint of it and I pull back. Once confirmed, I am out. I have no time or patience for childish behavior.

    • @Florida_gyrl
      @Florida_gyrl 11 місяців тому +1

      Me neither! (I’m a woman)

  • @alejandroperez-xf3qb
    @alejandroperez-xf3qb 11 місяців тому +1

    I'm so happy I found your channel, you make me feel hopefull and not so lonely.

  • @PaigeSzupello
    @PaigeSzupello 4 місяці тому

    I’m pregnant with a son and my goodness.. the society and culture men have to deal with stresses me out. I don’t want my son to feel like he can’t have emotions or to feel lonely in this world or misunderstood. The dating world, the modern day feminism “movement” , the societal pressures, just so much! It breaks my heart. Praying for God to give me the wisdom and mold me into the mother that will grow and nurture this child into the man God made him to be. 🥺😭🙏🏼

  • @bronsonbamnallen1633
    @bronsonbamnallen1633 8 місяців тому

    That one about playing hard to get. Absolutely right. Great job with this video Courtney.

  • @hotsauce1556
    @hotsauce1556 11 місяців тому +1

    It's almost like we're human too thank you Courtney it does feel good to know someone understands us or atleast cares enough to try we matter too

  • @whiteknight5100
    @whiteknight5100 11 місяців тому +1

    As a man, i am highly emotional but i channel a lot of it toward protecting and loving my woman as well as work and taking care of pets, engaging in hobbies, and even drinking a bit of beer. All of these things are items that i need. Its nice to have a woman understand us...

  • @thirdtime
    @thirdtime 11 місяців тому +1

    Communication is key in relationships so yes, you should have to ask (i.e. communicate) if you want that relationship to be successful.

  • @helloDobson3259
    @helloDobson3259 11 місяців тому +2

    Feedback to Courtney: Kudos for addressing some of the toxic attitudes of some of your previous guests. For your age demographic, you're the healthiest female provider of dating/relationship advice I've come across. As your calling out here, lean into the healthy, and your channel will continue to grow to a million.

  • @Jotaro5181
    @Jotaro5181 11 місяців тому +79

    A woman that is playing hard to get is not into you!

    • @SabastianWeaver
      @SabastianWeaver 11 місяців тому +10

      Not always true

    • @Jotaro5181
      @Jotaro5181 11 місяців тому +21

      @@SabastianWeaver Nah it is always true. If a girl likes you, she will wanna date and be with you right away!

    • @vianhoho19
      @vianhoho19 11 місяців тому +16

      ​@@SabastianWeaverwhat I learn is that the more she likes you, the easier she makes things for you
      Getting her to like you in the first place, THAT'S where the struggle is 😅

    • @LordHolley
      @LordHolley 11 місяців тому +2

      Quality woman know men do not respect woman that hopps straight into the sack. That doesn't mean they like you, they want a man they can play with that night, and not get attached to. If a quality woman likes you, they will play the slow game.

    • @kellytweheyo3333
      @kellytweheyo3333 11 місяців тому

      Ur just scared of women 😠😭

  • @jamest2861
    @jamest2861 11 місяців тому +2

    Women don't put themselves in the other persons (mans) shoes when unleashing negative behavior (unless she's sleeping with this man). She simply doesn't care and society (other women) don't call her on it. Hence...no consequences other than for the person (man) that complains about her behavior.

  • @gilbert2303
    @gilbert2303 11 місяців тому +2

    Courtney. The “ mind reader” comment is so spot on.

  • @cdorman11
    @cdorman11 11 місяців тому

    7:40 "Don't play hard to get." After many years of hearing "no," and being told that not respecting "no" is borderline harassment, a guy will respond to a woman playing hard-to-get by thinking, "I've seen this movie before," figure there's no chemistry, and walk away.

  • @dankimbrough2411
    @dankimbrough2411 9 місяців тому

    I agree with what you are saying . As a 62 yr old man with a huge aspect of a loving nature. Games are out, i wont play. Im a serious man, and i want a life with a serious woman. Keep up your good work! You are wise beyond your years.

  • @jamesturner2126
    @jamesturner2126 11 місяців тому +2

    People cry. Men are people. Ridiculing men for crying is inhumane. That treatment leads to the "don't cry" filter, a communication barrier men have to use, to prevent crying. Then Men get ridiculed for being cold/violent, as if we were given some other ways to grieve. Men are people, stop oppressing our emotions then complaining about the consequences.

  • @nohackershere6592
    @nohackershere6592 11 місяців тому +1

    If someone tells me they aren't interested, I believe them. If they want to play hard to get, well, they won't get got. I've wasted too much time on people who play games. Tell me you are fine? I'll believe you. If you then get upset at me for not reading your mind, I'll politely remind you of what you said and I'll ask again if you are fine or not. Expect me to put forth 100% of the effort in the relationship? I'll just stop and then see what happens. Ask if you look fat in that dress? I'll tell you the truth, as politely as I am able to (if it actually does make you look fat), since I am going to always default to assuming you are asking in earnest instead of wondering about your intent for asking. If being straightforward and honest, in as kind and polite ways as I can, is upsetting to you, then it might be best you find someone else. No matter how pretty you are or how good you look, if you can't interact without playing games and don't show me interest in return, then you aren't attractive. Life would be a lot easier if more women understood this, and forming relationships would be much less frustrating for both parties...

  • @revanmoto6261
    @revanmoto6261 11 місяців тому +1

    My father gave me a great bit of advice when it comes to dating. He said, “Never show a woman your emotions because once she’s seen them, she’ll never treat you the same way. She’ll use them against you in an argument or look down on you as being weak.”

    • @NormanF62
      @NormanF62 11 місяців тому

      We show the same face to world and we’re hard to read for good reason. The suppression of emotion lends a man a smouldering sensuality. Clint Eastwood brought it to perfection in the Man With No Name. He never reveals anything but if you’re a guy, you know ahead of time what he was going to do. How I know, don’t ask! 😊

  • @stevenhaas2096
    @stevenhaas2096 11 місяців тому +1

    Absolutely amazing video Courtney, a great video for EVERYONE to watch, both men and women. Mutual respect for each other, as well as simple gratitude (thanking EACH OTHER for the little things) is truly the key that is lacking in relationships nowadays, unfortunately, and each and EVERY point that you raised in your video illustrates that perfectly. Let’s hope that many viewers (both male and female) take away some great tips from this gem! 🙂

  • @brego12317
    @brego12317 11 місяців тому +4

    Thank you Courtney for this video. I hope more people listen to you!

  • @chrisstone-streetlightinte5629
    @chrisstone-streetlightinte5629 11 місяців тому +1

    I'll tell you what ladies...wanna know if your man has feelings. Buy him flowers...just once. On the outside, he'll be weird and awkward about it, because he's not used to it. But I garuantee you that those things will still be alive a month later and that will tell you everything thing you need to know about him. The one time a girl bought me flowers, it wasn't even a romantic thing. It was a "Hey I know you're going through a hard time and I know its not much, and you're a dude, and you probably hate flowers, but I want you to know someone cares about you," sort of thing. Those roses lived a month. I cared for them daily and I enjoyed the hell out of it.
    Point: Treat your men the way you want to be treated. Lesser lesson. If you enjoy it, there's a solid chance he will too.

  • @GetBenched2010
    @GetBenched2010 11 місяців тому +1

    Male vulnerability is something that is a deal breaker for 99% of women if not all. When you show emotion and/or openly hurt at all, that's the moment when a woman sees that you don't walk on water and they are already looking to replace you. Women don't give a fuck about your feelings guys, it's okay to not care about theirs'.

  • @petecam3949
    @petecam3949 11 місяців тому

    The point about emotions is a great point. Men do have emotions, but we just express them differently. Men rely more on logic to figure something out while women rely on how they feel about it.
    Direct communication is going to get a better response than subtle hints. A lot of times if you tell him what you want he will do whatever he can to get it for her. Men are much more direct in how they communicate. When men are talking you will hear another guy just straight up say, your idea sucks!
    Women don’t realize this about the compliment thing. Women usually get complimented all the time, men rarely get compliments.
    7:15 this is so true. Showing appreciation will get her farther than nagging and criticizing.

  • @Adam_Le-Roi_Davis.
    @Adam_Le-Roi_Davis. 11 місяців тому +1

    As a 63 year old man I'd like to pick up on two points, I can count on one hand the amount of compliments which I've received from women in my life, and if a woman plays hard to get or doesn't reciprocate my effort I leave her to it and move on.

  • @niksananiksanov6777
    @niksananiksanov6777 11 місяців тому +1

    The part play hard to get to is probably the one ive most seen in recent years,whether at work or in real life. Even without approaching such women and also they sending mixed signals its a common sense to self-respect yourself and if a woman likes you for real she can always contact you and directly show you what its like. Have your self-respect people and stay ahead from such

  • @DavidLevis
    @DavidLevis 11 місяців тому +1

    Great lessons.❤️ I think it should be 50/50 for both men & women. When it comes finance, love, business,relationship.
    Not only men playing the whole staff. Above mentioned. 👋

  • @NarcissistExpose
    @NarcissistExpose 11 місяців тому

    Good Communication and Understanding is very important Every relationship

  • @lawrence31415
    @lawrence31415 11 місяців тому +8

    Happy Friday, Courtney! I hope this video goes viral because you communicate your messages positively, and I hope people are open to listening to them!

  • @toptechtowing6340
    @toptechtowing6340 11 місяців тому +11

    Another great video with an amazing message. I see things slowly shifting for the better and it's people like you that contribute to that 😊
    Cheers 🍻 and happy Thanksgiving from 🇨🇦 to you+family

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  11 місяців тому

      Thank you my friend! 🤍🤍

  • @ronaldthibodauxjr6913
    @ronaldthibodauxjr6913 11 місяців тому +3

    Having emotions is natural, as long as they don't govern your actions!

  • @Wolf-Man88
    @Wolf-Man88 11 місяців тому

    I could say so much, but you'd be reading all day lol.. In regards to EQ, my ex would say I have a low EQ and then proceed to not talk about an issue healthily and then kick me out if I ever tried to rephrase something or understand her more. It was a traumatic experience that I'm currently grieving as there were some really sweet moments as well.
    As always, great video and spot on with every point 💯

  • @JohnnyinCLE
    @JohnnyinCLE 11 місяців тому +2

    Interesting. Good to see this vantage point episode from a woman's VP.
    I think where both sexes get this all wrong is that guys portend to be stoic, whereas women aim to poker face as that. At the same time? Women try to empath, whereas men try to predict rashly.
    I think both sexes should try to bring a certain level of "crossing summit". ALSO: You're right. "Hard to get" tells me that a woman (or rather, either sex) is playing head-games. And most of us have no time for that.

  • @zerofuksgivins2539
    @zerofuksgivins2539 11 місяців тому +2

    men do have feelings, its just when we show them, they get use against us

  • @Strive1324L
    @Strive1324L 11 місяців тому +3

    I think women are always looking for the 1 or 2 percent of men who are the top money earners and are perfect 😂 and they exclude all of us inperfect hard working guys who would give one hundred percent in a relationship.

  • @ForestForTheTrees3283
    @ForestForTheTrees3283 11 місяців тому

    Regarding your video "6 things women say that are Red Flags"- Your thumbnail photo was absolutely incredible. Love your hair style in that pic!

  • @tgan71
    @tgan71 11 місяців тому +1

    Empathy is a must! The ATM dig is awesome 👌

  • @thegray5730
    @thegray5730 11 місяців тому

    "Geez Louise...have some fricking empathy"? Never seen you lose control like that.

  • @jimreeve8240
    @jimreeve8240 3 місяці тому

    Keep these amazing insightful videos going, Courtney. Men like me can be shy when we like a pretty woman and we are just sweet at heart and want to love a woman with love and kindness and lots of cuddles and kisses. If a good quality woman is looking for a true Godly loving man or just a huge-hearted man. They got to look past their own insecurities and concerns and look around to the quiet ones. Because we will surprise these women. And if women would just ask us nicely for anything, we will love them more because they will be open and honest with us. Making love in a relationship and marriage is so much more than sex. And the love and emotional sex connection is so important.

  • @AaronPICAR
    @AaronPICAR 9 місяців тому +1

    By the grace of God I have been married to the greatest woman ever since 2012, it’s like one of us is speaking Spanish and the other is speaking Portuguese. There’s common ground but there’s also confusion.
    Also even after all this time, I still need my wife to be direct with me. I can’t read her mind.
    A guy will keep a shirt for 20+ years because he remembers a random time some girl said she liked it.

  • @Madchris8828
    @Madchris8828 11 місяців тому +1

    Encouraging emotional vulnerability is how you go from having a girlfriend to then her finding you weak and pathetic and leaving you in short order. Empathy isnt afforded to men. We don't have that luxury, that's for children animals and women

  • @kyndrydspyryt3867
    @kyndrydspyryt3867 11 місяців тому +1

    Well done Courtney, you are truly sticking up for us

  • @Skadooshbag
    @Skadooshbag 11 місяців тому

    As I stated on the other video, brought up that I didn't feel like a priority, got met with excuses, walked away.

  • @helloDobson3259
    @helloDobson3259 11 місяців тому

    Excellent call out on don't expect mind reading. She's right, it's immature and toxic behavior.

  • @MarineSgt
    @MarineSgt 11 місяців тому

    Seriously ty....im not a subscriber because you're beautiful but because you literally speak truth & ty i share you constantly

  • @JoseJimenez-vk8kv
    @JoseJimenez-vk8kv 11 місяців тому +1

    Girl, you hit it right on the nail. Thank you so much!

  • @sgr2828
    @sgr2828 11 місяців тому

    One thing I'd like to add is that a lot of this advice falls under the category of "say how you feel / say what you want the other person to know", but some relationships are toxic to the point that the other person does not care about your emotions / wants / needs whatsoever, and will even get angry at you for communicating what your needs are, because they don't want to feel like a "bad" person for ignoring them. Some people are not brave enough to leave a toxic relationship, so instead they halt clear communication, fearing either being ignored or retaliated against, and resort to the passive aggressive stuff and unclear communication.

  • @RicterPhyce
    @RicterPhyce 11 місяців тому

    All Men are aware that they have feelings. But, as a Man I am also aware that I am responsible for how I feel; not external events. THIS is where a Man finds his strength. You can't "make" me angry unless I allow it.
    Second; as a Man I have learned that I MUST conquer my "Fear" and my "Temptations". When a Man conquers his fears and his temptations he can never be lured somewhere he should not go, and he will not be afraid to go somewhere he needs to be. THIS is where Men find freedom.
    Think of it Courtney, when is YOUR man at his best? When things are bad and he dose not give into Fear, Anger, or Temptation... You know this.

  • @amhawk8742
    @amhawk8742 11 місяців тому

    As a young man (18) growing into my role as a man, I find it extremely annoying when the women in my life provide "constructive criticism." This isn't because I think I'm perfect, but because I'm hyper-aware of my deficiencies. So any "constructive criticism" a woman can give me on something, I've already identified that thing as an area that needs work (even if I haven't let others know or asked their assistance). For another person to feel the need to highlight my mistakes just makes me feel like that person thinks I'm too stupid to realise that thing myself since they don't trust my judgement. No one enjoys being made to feel stupid. Having the habit of giving unsolicited "constructive criticism" is not at all an attractive attribute for a woman to have. To all the women reading this: if you want to provide guidance to your man, give it in the form of praise when he does something with which you agree. This will cause him to see you as a positive presence in his life rather than a nagging negative one & make him more likely to mold his likes to your liking.

  • @jaredguevara8660
    @jaredguevara8660 11 місяців тому +1

    Amen Court🙏 thank you for your message and advocating for the good ones. The Western world is full of toxic people both male and females and social media is enabling a lot of poor mindsets😢. Kudos❤

  • @semperives1753
    @semperives1753 11 місяців тому

    If I could do GIFs here it would be the GIF of The Office Michael Scott yelling, "Thank You" at the table.
    As a 36 year old male, it is unbelievably frustrating to seemingly have all the right qualities (emotional intelligence, good communication and conversation skills, confidence, good hygiene, good fashion) but still be rejected time and time and time again by women who seemingly look to only find manipulative F boys or the 1%ers of 6'0+ men with $500k income. I get frustrated watching the videos here of the women saying what they want or find attractive but with my bitterness...feel like it's just talk and no actual behavioral action. I enjoy nonetheless and always looking forward to seeing more. Thanks Courtney.

  • @davidm2299
    @davidm2299 11 місяців тому +3

    What a refreshing video! The world needs more of this! Thank you, Courtney! :)

  • @ForceAlfaF1
    @ForceAlfaF1 11 місяців тому +3

    Unfortunately, A LOT of women these days look at it as a flex to be as cruel as possible how they talk about Men and Men's issues.
    Until that's socially ostracized, it will only continue and likely get worse.

  • @vidfan1973
    @vidfan1973 11 місяців тому

    1. Men are not mind readers: absolutely right!!! Subtle hints don't work especially in this day & age of the Time's Up and/or Me Too movement. TELL us if you're interested, and
    2. Playing hard to get is indeed a HUGE turn off. For us guys, there's only 1 solution for this - walk away/move on.

  • @pmac5386
    @pmac5386 10 місяців тому

    You are so correct on these points. I have a wonderful relationship which works perfectly most likely due to the fact we are both older and have learned how to communicate directly and compliment both successes and failures as a growing together experience.

  • @kermidiu4390
    @kermidiu4390 11 місяців тому +2

    I think every point you made comes down to 2 things: Effort and Awareness. Both Men & Women have to be aware AND putting forth effort. Else they aren't viable romance options.

    • @pace1195
      @pace1195 11 місяців тому

      A man who puts in too much effort is either a nice guy or a simp. The woman will never respect him and at best put him in the friendzone. If he's unaware, he will forever be an orbiter and never getting the relationship he badly wants.

    • @ElusiveVulture
      @ElusiveVulture 11 місяців тому +1

      I put men who put in no effort in the friend zone. Women appreciate effort. If they don't they are not into you.

    • @kermidiu4390
      @kermidiu4390 11 місяців тому

      @@ElusiveVulture That and they're not viable romance options.

  • @NapkinNexter
    @NapkinNexter 11 місяців тому

    4:35 Not to mention it can be considered harassment to give someone an unsolicited gift

  • @Razl07
    @Razl07 11 місяців тому +1

    I dated a girl who expected me to give her flowers using subtle hints. Not a bad example at all!

    • @Razl07
      @Razl07 11 місяців тому

      @_TeIegra.m_RealCourtneyRyan first off she was a great girl. Definitely don’t want to diminish that. But she occasionally dropped hints about liking flowers. She also had her friends contact me and suggest getting flowers for her birthday. In reality, it was never something my dad or anyone in my family did so I wasn’t accustomed to it. I did spend several hours trying to find the perfect gifts, even shelling out big bucks once to have a necklace made with her name engraved on it. When she didn’t get flowers, she got really upset and acted as though I ruined her birthday. It made me feel hurt and very confused that she expected me to know what she wanted without ever telling me.

  • @francoisbroukx1244
    @francoisbroukx1244 11 місяців тому +1

    Men have feelings and some of them are even "high sensitive", they are not supposed to show it, not in public. Men and women have both a emotional and a rational part in the brain, culture tell us who uses more one or the other.

    • @pace1195
      @pace1195 11 місяців тому

      Genetics does too, but we seem to have decided that field is a pseudo-science.

    • @francoisbroukx1244
      @francoisbroukx1244 11 місяців тому

      @@pace1195 Euh...No!!! not pseudo, I think genetics is non-deterministic, but gives a potential you can use , or not...

    • @pace1195
      @pace1195 11 місяців тому +1

      @@francoisbroukx1244 I totally agree with your comment.
      My comment was meant to push back on the "what is a woman" craze over the last few years. Also, the fact men are instinctually more rational with women more emotional as averages of overlapping bell curves. Yes, our culture contributes to some extent to the stereotypes we already posses as children.
      I suppose I could have been clearer on my previous comment, especially to someone with a non-Anglo user name.

  • @musiclassica
    @musiclassica 11 місяців тому

    You, and this message, should be treasured at all costs. Thank you for posting.

  •  11 місяців тому

    It boils down to the woman to develop her own emotional intelligence (emotional awareness, emotional control, social-emotional awareness, and relationship management) and then encourage the men in her life to do the same.
    Women ought not to underestimate the influences they can have through the reward that they individually and collectively impose on men. Yet, she should also beware that this form is a double-edged sword for the immature woman, as it is indeed a "folly of Rewarding A, While Hoping for B" (Steven Kerr, 1995)

  • @IAmAFEX
    @IAmAFEX 10 місяців тому

    Even as a 19 year old I love hearing facts about myself reinforced. Shout out to you.

  • @Voa00
    @Voa00 11 місяців тому

    God your channel is such a breath of fresh air. Im so broken from dating in my generation, we’re so f*cked.