What to Do When Your Ex Moves on RIDICULOUSLY FAST | Matthew Hussey

[@d0n315]

My doctor recently told me this:
*”Because you didn't want to lose them, you lost yourself in the process. Find yourself again and you will find happiness. Remember that if a relationship doesn't help you become a better person… ending it does”*
From that day on, I realized the past can not be changed, forgotten, edited, or erased. It can only be accepted.

[@ichibangai]

Bless you for sharing such profound wisdom. This was healing to read and feel. 🙏

[@diandreabrown8711]

Holding on to the promise.

[@AndreiaBritesLourenco]

Thank you for sharing these beautiful words, I was needing to hear it 🩵
Bless you!

[@peri_wink1e]

Glad I saw this. Thank you✨

[@Verase787]

💯

[@nursekillm]

Moving on quickly usually indicates a lack of healing & codependence. It usually has nothing to do with the other person.

[@andreagrazianodibenedetto1464]

That's what I think too. It's not about the other person, it's the instant gratification and validation that they are looking for, instead of gaining clarity on their own part in the failure of the relationship. It is an easy way out without taking accountability.

[@onefortrees]

Or - it means someone has realized sticking around is much more destructive than moving on and being happy and content in one’s own presence.

[@usagi666_]

⁠@@onefortreesget real. If someone is truly that happy that fast, they checked out of their respective relationship long ago. lt’s a shitty thing to do to a partner. Of course you’re gonna move on and be happy that fast if you were working in the shadows and leaving your partner completely oblivious to your true feelings, possibly cheating and interviewing future partners. Complete cowardice is what that is, and I’m sick of comments like these trying to justify this behavior instead of acknowledging that it is not normal and that someone definitely got the short end of the stick.

[@bibilym4514]

To be honest, it’s so tempting to just give up on love altogether. I was talking with one of my friends about this: the minute you let someone in, they f-up your peace. At the same time I’ve been learning and through lots of therapy and self-reflection I’ve realized why I’ve been choosing the wrong ones, or guys who aren’t meant for me. While I want to give up, I am still hopeful. I’ve deleted my dating apps and feel so freaking good. I’ve realized that they aren’t for me and I’m gonna live my life, create my own happiness, and make connections. And, prayerfully one day I’ll meet a great guy just from living an amazing life. My point is, I’m hopeful.

[@NSoutherland_WellnessMD]

When you said "F-up you peace" I felt that in my soul. Im on the same journey you are . I wish you peace and ease.

[@hyeryeunjang3913]

I am exactly in the same place! No dating apps means peace and sanity. I am hopeful too but for now I just want to focus on my life, and how to live it well. Wish you the best luck! 💫

[@leekautz2926]

Wish I had hope still. Found nothing but pain in love.

[@StereoAnthony]

Also in this place. I'm currently just coming out of what has ended up being a covid relationship. We met just before covid started, she moved in, and we have just accepted that we just aren't long term compatible after almost 3 yrs.
At 44, I think I may just give up trying to find someone, and spend my time doing the copious amounts of things I enjoy doing.
Ive never enjoyed time to myself more than I do now, which has me wondering if I even want to live with a potential partner anyways.
I never thought I'd still be single at this point in my life, but for now I'm more than ok with it.
Peace and quiet indeed.

[@emmaa2696]

@@StereoAnthony i second thar Anthony, peaceful life, no kids, no dogs no drama lol

[@Misagonna88]

Some people like to fast track their relationships and drop someone and then replace the person with someone new without healing. No matter if they married their quick rebound, or had kids with them. It will fail. It’s just a matter of time. All the things they were when they were with you, this new person has to put up with, and rebound relationships, marriages and serious relationships rarely last. Even years after, men and women don’t get over someone good that they loved. The show you see on social media means nothing.

[@marlobx7442]

🗣🗣🗣

[@tonyaspain29]

Well said! I'm going through this now. We broke up and I found out a week later he had been cheating on me with his massage therapist. And now they're in a relationship while he's still a client. But you're right, all the things he was with me are still going to be there with her, and a lot of them aren't good. The pain is the worst. I wish time would move faster

[@CreepyGerbil]

I love this! So true. They have the same demons.

[@aoyenngoc502]

It's even harder if you're the rebound gf/bf without really recognizing that

[@DJBALOR]

Man I’m waiting for my ex to see the mistake she made at this moment

[@CreepyGerbil]

For those who still suffer, it takes time but wanted to share...
- Keep busy and productive
- Spend time with family and friends (it's a different kind of company and won't fill the "void" but it definitely helps).
- Don't hold back your emotions. Let them come out. You'll get over it quicker if you don't hide them. Your body and mind are processing the change. Let it. It'll feel crap but it'll be good for you in the long run.
- If you lived with the person especially, get rid of anything that reminds you of them. Just do it, trust me. It helps to purify.
- Keep on music and background noise if you feel lonely.
- Don't look them up. Don't contact them. It only makes the emptiness worse. It's so hard not to do, but just move on! Your self-worth isn't measured by whatever they're doing. Who f cares! Think about it, they're gone. They're gone for a valid reason. Move on.
Good luck guys!

[@s.elizabeth1753]

Thank-you

[@yucanthandledatruth4874]

What if you have kids together?

[@Pbgr100]

What if kids are involved??

[@foreverred105]

What if you don't have much family or friends?

[@Pbgr100]

@@yucanthandledatruth4874 I think the best is to get Someone in between or have an agreement , they drop the kids Monday to Friday to school & you pick them up Friday after school and bring them back Monday that way you don’t see or contact each other , it’s crap for the kids but until you heal !! Then you might need to do this , we’ll depending on how it ended harshly or you still talking! Regarding the kids but it still hurts lol , it’s helping me though!! As we speak..

[@nakkeung1992]

If they moved on that fast, They probably had someone already on the Wait-List. They checked out along time ago mentally.

[@tiffanypr.9448]

It's better to move on slowly but surely. No one escapes heartbreak because there is always attachment (in a healthy relationship). If they don't feel it now, they'll feel it down the line. In the mean time focus on yourself

[@melissajones6732]

This is advice I need to take

[@raginisharma9302]

Yes and the hardest part is about breaking the attachment. The problem is that we don't really know ,at least in the moment ,if we will ever stop feeling the loss so profusely. But it does get better when we apply rationality to it. In the midst of emotions, we keep lying to ourselves thinking what it could have been if we were together but the fact is that is not reality but just a wishful thinking. The sooner we register that in our minds, the better the moving on phase.

[@tiffanypr.9448]

@@raginisharma9302 Yes, I think it's necessary to feel all the emotions, hurt and go through all the memories after the breakup for a while (sometimes many months). Once you have felt all the possible emotions, doubts and reflected on all the unanswerable questions you have, you are one step closer to rationalize the breakup. At least for me, that phase last the longest and is painful but once I am able to rationalize it, deep down you'll feel that there is no way of getting back to your ex, it feels like an itch in your chest when you think about going back to them. And that feeling grows bigger with time and allows you to move on for good. So take your time, I think it's the healthiest way and shows that you have a big heart able to genuinely love someone. It's a quality and you should be proud of it.

[@raginisharma9302]

@@tiffanypr.9448 Bang on - thanks for sharing !

[@Arashenstein]

Tiffany thank you so much for writing this you just described my current situation. I loved her and she was my ultimate achievement. Just for a tinder guy for one night she destroyed everything for second time 😔

[@Hayden795]

I had this happen to me. I was with my ex-boyfriend for 6 years. We lived together for 5 years, I moved across the country for him, away from my friends and family, and he'd asked my parents for their permission to ask me to marry him. And then one day he broke up with me and kicked me out of our apartment. Blamed me for everything and made me feel like I deserved it. Two days later he posted pictures of him and one of his female friends together, the one that he swore he didn't have feelings for (not that I'd ever accused him - I'd always trusted him 100%). Looking back, I realize I dodged a major bullet. I could not be happier with the direction my life is headed now, and Matthew's videos have been a huge part of that healing process. To all my broken hearted ladies (and gents), take this time to focus on YOU. Be gentle and kind to yourself. Love yourself. You are enough. You are going to be okay.

[@jackie41083]

Thank you for sharing. Is he in a relationship with her? Just wondering if he got his karma

[@justinbrockwell8396]

Thanks for sharing your story. You definitely sound like you deserved way better than that kind of treatment. Onwards and upwards!

[@Hayden795]

@@jackie41083 He is - and from what I know about her, that may be a form of karma in itself. But it doesn't matter - what's important is my own healing and self-improvement journey!

[@Hayden795]

@@justinbrockwell8396 Thank you! Onwards and upwards! :)

[@sabr8399]

Oh my goodness Sarah! There must be something going on this Spring. I hear what you're saying about dodging a bullet. He's a stepping stone into finding your dream partner - which is actually exciting! Like Matthew said, it's a character flaw and I believe their behaviour says a-lot. My FIANCÉ and partner of 6 years, asked for space last month so I gave it to him. Little did I know he was actually sleeping with a girl in Spain. He called me last week and lied about the truth but he eventually told me. A month ago he met a girl in Portugal on a STAG DO and now he's with this girl. Claimed he's 'in love' as he feels desired by her and that she is promiscuous. It's so painful to hear this. The most disturbing part is he's ket this hidden for a month, lied through his teeth and had tea with my mum. Disappointed. I gave him ample chances to come clean but he lied more and more. Avoidant and very dismissive. An angel to me for 6 years but he soon showed his true colours after the STAG DO. Crazy. He's never been active on social media and all of a sudden he is compulsively posting and even posted photos of them two recently whilst he was engaged to me! She looks like me too so my psychology brain wonders if he's mirroring me in her.... So hurtful and the lies of deceit truly sting. Makes me wonder whether the 6 years meant anything at all. Seeing the comments on this video definitely make me feel less alone but it is truly a tough pill to swallow! Similar to you, I am investing on myself but this pain is just an inconvenience! Thanks for reading and if anyone has any tips surrounding this please help! x

[@hushpuppies872]

Breakups are so hard to a point where you start wondering I really have a relationship or was it just in my mind. People just move on incredibly soon and it makes you wonder if you even meant anything to them at all. It sucks.

[@6215..]

Perfect 😢

[@foreverred105]

Heartbreak is one of the most painful experiences I've ever had in my life. Oh boy.

[@jakeevans2533]

How you feeling now ?

[@lrcc3588]

Oh boy indeed

[@ZETA824]

Oh boy.. indeed

[@maytachannel6031]

same here, I am now experiencing it. I dont know what to do

[@rjeffadpt7385]

You set boundaries and he moved on to someone who doesn’t have boundaries. You’re better off!!

[@richardadkin7226]

This 👌

[@andreagrazianodibenedetto1464]

Good point. Usually they go after someone who doesn't have boundaries so they can keep doing what they did to break the relationship. It's an escape from accountability and healing. They are essentially using the other person to make themselves feel better and to get over the breakup.

[@itslingling]

Every time someone breaks up with you or rejects you, it is actually a blessing for you! Because at least they didn't keep on dating you and lead you on for longer

[@chibaby800]

How about not being led on in the first place. The blessing is coming with a whole lot of pain

[@jujuthaguru]

The new situation isn’t love, it’s just infatuation aka the “honeymoon phase”. I’ve come to learn some people are just in love with the idea of love, no real substance. It won’t last. My advice, just take care of yourself (emotionally, physically, and psychologically) until you don’t want them anymore. Cause you definitely won’t! You’ll realize that a person who has to crush you in order to lift the next person up is a weirdo3000 and also, if the next girl is soaking up her special treatment over you, here’s a gem for you…. He ain’t changed…& She’s next 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@andreagrazianodibenedetto1464]

I believe you're right. It's essentially limerance, and I like the way you explain it: "some people are just in love with the idea of love, no real substance. It won't last." These people are addicted to feelings, but not ready to develop spiritually to become a better partner. Real love is the desire to grow spiritually for yourself and your partner. These people want the feelings without doing the work necessary to keep the relationship healthy. Thank you for your comment, I appreciate what you wrote.

[@Elevenbravo_ABN]

Delete every single photo, delete every email and delete every text message.
Throw away anything in your home that reminds you of them.
You have to be a little bit cold to get through this pain.
They threw you away like a piece of garbage; now it’s time to throw them away.

[@beedabee1221]

And don’t look back. Keep moving forward.

[@doublelayerofcheckout3612]

Unfortunately I can't because what he gave me is for my work. I wish I had enough money to just replace everything he gave me for my home and work.

[@Elevenbravo_ABN]

@@doublelayerofcheckout3612
That’s ok. I still have a pair of sunglasses that she gave me. I held on to them because I like them. Really, it’s the photos and text messages that will trigger you. I’m so glad I got rid of them.

[@emfromthechi]

What do you do when you live together? AND have a child together? 😢

[@jund3535]

It feels like the person you love and care for doesn't exist. Take care everyone.

[@lisavollaro]

Narcissist

[@priestrat]

My ex started dating like a week or less after he broke up with me. We were together for 4 years. Talked about moving in together, getting married. One day he told me he doesnt feel like hes in love with me anymore and he has a crush on another girl. Those feelings of being replaceable, of having trusted someone and having that trust shattered, of being wrong about someone are so difficult to manage. I've never felt so horrible before.

[@hellobridgette]

Hugs. How are you? Hang in there.

[@janinediaz5941]

Same.. 4 years and even before we broke up, there he was flirting with the other girl.. they are not “official” but they are always together..

[@nipun2961]

Same my 2 year relationship ended this way 😢

[@MissNadine1511]

Same it happens but what can we do lol

[@janinediaz5941]

My ex told me I was paranoid and he just needs the girl for work.. less than two months after we broke up he is dating her.. I just found out yesterday.. 4 years down the drain

[@justinbrockwell8396]

I must say it gets quite exhausting, when you are the one investing... because they initially show interest, you're the one who is proudly telling your friends and family how great the potential partner is... you're the one trying to do the right thing... be honest, be understanding, be good to them, respect them, treat them well... and they initially reciprocate... only to turn their backs and dump you for someone else (usually with a fair bit of overlap) When it keeps happening, I must say, regardless of ones self confidence... it takes it's toll. I didn't sign up for that kind of treatment, and I refuse to accept that it is normal, acceptable behaviour. I am exhausted from having to walk away from people that I once believed in.

[@Americanpatriot-zo2tk]

I feel your pain brother

[@kevinalleyne5107]

Feel the same bro because my ex girlfriend met me when I wasn't seeking an relationship she tried her best I opened my heart now 8 months down the road you left me

[@tyetr9853]

Update us bro

[@iCookieChan1]

@@kevinalleyne5107 I feel that.. but it feels good to be free in retrospect. This person did not give us the respect we deserved, therefore we deserve better :) the road to getting to that mindset is painful tho..

[@kevinalleyne5107]

@@iCookieChan1 exactly

[@iamauroraborealis]

Usually it only seems too fast for ones who were dumped. Then you learn that they were already building something new for a while (in their heads, it's not always about cheating) while planning to leave you. That's the reason they're moving so fast, because it was already happening for them before we know it.

[@marlobx7442]

🎯

[@SlayerSpaz]

Yup.

[@TeddyBear-lb9ho]

Sometimes it's definitely cheating

[@prevbean]

Yep it was cheating for me and she didn't care after like I was trash.

[@jodil7]

Not necessarily, sometimes you put the brake on things & say you want him to move out & they get really butt hurt & they can’t be alone. My ex just got married for the third time & when I look at it now…I would have been #3….and he moved/moves way too fast. He weaseled his way into moving in after three months bc he moved to my city & made less than me & I had a 4 bedroom home. When I suggested he move out after I found out he had money saved bc things were going too fast, he was so hurt that he left forever.

[@Steven-L]

From the first time we met, our first date, all the times spent, waking up & going to sleep by their side every day. Then to have that person you love plan their way out. Thinking of all the things that could have been. Thinking of what I could have done differently. For the past month & a half it has been some of my darkest days. When she left me I told her that I love you & you're my best friend. I've remained in no contact. It's been so difficult at times. It's been so hard to move on & my whole world feels upside down at times

[@s.elizabeth1753]

Day 4 no contact. I'm in physical and mental pain. Fuck

[@randomben6828]

You'll be fine brother, just give it time and completely focus on becoming the best version of yourself

[@aerisrinoayuna]

I know how you feel - I'm going through the same thing at the moment and it's only been 2 weeks. He's going on with life with his new "soul mate" and told me he's "moved on" and that he's "happier and at peace with her." Those words hit me hard and still hurt me. All I can say is that, things unfortunately can't be changed now and you will have to focus on yourself to move forward. Be the best version of yourself and maybe one day she'll realize what she's lost.

[@s.elizabeth1753]

@@darkofulir8249 I'm so sorry! Theres a really good podcast on Spotify that I've been listening called "healing your heartbreak" by Kendra and that's helped me get over my break up! I hope you can find some comfort

[@lisavollaro]

New supply narcissist

[@KPRamirez]

I feel this so much. It’s so painful to still feel so heartbroken but see your ex is moving on so fast.

[@blastprosful]

It's so cruel and unfair

[@sphere6584]

My ex got engaged with another guy when we were still dating. We didn't end the relationship until 5 days after they got engaged when they tell me what happened. I was left on my own device with a broken heart and little to no explanation.
This was a week ago and it still hurts tremendously

[@blastprosful]

@@sphere6584 omg. I'm so sorry.
It must be hell.. For someone you loved and trusted to do this .
I was there 6 months ago.
It does get better. First 3 months are the hardest.
Let it out cry until you can't then do it some more. It's your souls way of cleansing itself. Slowly turn the sadness into anger then yell and punch a pillow, work out until you pass out. Get rid of all photos. All of them. Find friend of family to talk it out.
Then be good to yourself be a better version of what you were not a worse one.
Find peace within yourself.
Pray . Love anything that will let you.
Pets are a great way to heal.
God bless you I wish you peace

[@sphere6584]

@@blastprosful Thank you for the kind words. I literally cried when i read that.
I hope it gets better soon, i can't deal with the pain any longer.
It just broke me, the way someone would just leave you for another person in a blink of an eye.

[@blastprosful]

@@sphere6584
She was my best friend.
We were inseparable until the single life of her new friends looked better(she's 44) never had that time to grow. She married early.
I lost my father my mother and my dog in 2 years time then I lost her the 3rd year.
Even knowing she was all I had She still wouldn't work out any issues she may of had with our relationship.
I was a walking corpse.
Wanted to die.
Only time I felt peace was when I slept.
So I did a lot of it.
It still hurts but I cry less and don't yell out nearly as much.
Love can be the best and worst thing in life.
Knowing I'm not the only one this has happened too and realizing how terrible a person she was capable of being helps to move on
I hope that helps you as well.
Time may be your only friend.
But it works

[@welcometosusansmukbang9215]

You got to push yourself to MOVE ON! You must erase all the memories. Cut off social media. He or She is not right person for you in this life time. Take yourself to vacation, meet new people, join gym and etc✈️🍹

[@Umioko]

Thankfully I haven’t had this happen to me. I’ve blocked my ex on social media and we had no shared friends, so I’ll never know what he’s up to - which was the point. 👍 But still watching to support Matthew! We’re all going to heal! 🤗🙏

[@ashleykathryn9038]

Same here!! Closed my Facebook asap after the break up don't need that negativity in my life

[@charlly3900]

I wish I could just do this and block him comp out of my life .. but we were best of friends so it’s so hard to just act like the relationship never existed and also . It’s so heart breaking to see him do same thing him and I use to do together with her and going to our favorite spot with the new lady .. hmmmm

[@genericusername495]

This was my aim - until my mum looked him up and told me he’d moved on less than 3 months after the break up. I ended things, he was an emotionally abusive narcissist, but I could have lived quite happily without that knowledge 😔

[@heisenburg8608]

@@genericusername495these narcs move on so quick because they have nothing to work on, they’re ready for the next target. This is what their life depends on, finding the next person to validate their ego. Honestly, them moving on quick is a good sign. Shows you that you were right, they’re weak and need that validation. No narc could wait 6months, do work on themselves, then move on.

[@midnight2600]

My wife left me for another man. And since, she went and got a boob job, went to Disney World with him which was supposed to be our honeymoon we never got, and seeing that broke me. Its been over a year since our divorce and seeing those pictures made me feel like I fell back to square one. I feel numb, angry, sad, and just hurt. I feel worthless, tossed aside and replaced as though i meant nothing

[@KonohazFinest]

My wife or now ex left me after 15 years for the same guy I caught her cheating on me with. She then already introduced the new guy to our daughter barely a month after I left. I feel your pain and I hope you're doing well.

[@leekautz2926]

Fact is...if she moves on very quickly after u break up with her....she had him on deck in case of the breakup. Sadly. And probably in that case you made the right move by breaking up with her. She never cared about you very much anyway.

[@mj-np9sy]

Yup, monkey branchers, no self respect or respect for others

[@lisalambertwelch524]

Haven’t dated in a couple of years. Working on self and meeting only friends for socializing. I pray for my person, who is out in the world, to come to me soon. 💜

[@NintendoCaprisunish]

Someone choosing you is the bare minimum in a relationship by definition. If they don’t, it’s the ultimate dealbreaker.

[@goodshepherd3508]

I read this beautiful paragraph from a beautiful book during my high school days and every phase of fail wherever I failed in life I remembered it and committed to my memory. It is:
"The problem lies in the fact that man too often bases his choice on immediate satisfaction rather than on ultimate value. Many take the short view and their vision is limited to this earth. They specialize on the things that are seen rather than on the promises of God.. They grasp the present and stop to consider the glories of future. The spirit of materialism blinds their eyes to real issues of life."
I have experienced this and lived it.

[@alexcardinell7281]

I've definitely been here. Sometimes we make the mistake of seeing situations for what we want them to be, and not what they actually are. These are very difficult because you want to be upset with the other person, but the signs were probably there. People that respect and value the relationship you have won't do these things.

[@NathalieLazo]

“Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenge, wish for more wisdom.” - Jim Rohn ✨

[@melissajones6732]

Whoo wee I love this

[@NathalieLazo]

@@melissajones6732 Isn’t it great?? 😃

[@melissajones6732]

Amazing!!

[@NathalieLazo]

@@melissajones6732 ❤️💖👌🏼

[@Neddos101]

💯💯💯

[@michellepetersen9794]

Being in a relationship for 3 years and he was just doing the same things over and over. It was clear to me that we was never willing to change his ways for us. Eventually I broke up with him just to text me he misses me. But by now I know I knew he will never change and standing by my desicion. Just a month after that he was in a new relationship and I thank God that i made the right choice cause this said a lot. I know that there is someone amazing out there. Thank you for reassuring every single woman that struggles to get out of bed every morning that we are meant for greatness and deserves a second chance at love. 😊

[@pambrown3863]

This is so good. I ended a relationship last night, not because I wanted to, but because I had to. No effort put in and actually had been seeing someone else..I ignored the red flags...onwards and upwards 🤣👍

[@petermatthews8068]

Experienced this myself fairly recently..it sucks..I had feelings for the girl..tried really hard in the relationship but she's now with someone else...

[@react9384]

@pam sorry about that

[@pambrown3863]

@@petermatthews8068 ...im so sorry...u'll get the right girl !!

[@kaoshi_kutie]

Sorry to hear this both, you will get through it ❤️

[@ramparkash2318]

@@pambrown3863 . Why are you saying so sorry.?

[@ItsOnlyLogixal]

I literally just gave 6 years to someone and they broke up with me over text and probably moving on. In these situations, they either left you months ago and didn't express their needs so built up enough resentment to leave. Find someone who communicated and avoid avoidants if they aren't willing to be open with you

[@zinhlemasilela1545]

Thank you for this...needed this....funny because I'm going through this right now....been dating someone for almost a year this month was going to be our first anniversary...started acting strange 2 months back and said he needed space....early this week I got a voice note telling me he is back with his ex they decided to fix things..didn't even know the ex was still in the picture....they've now moved in together....it's a lot to take in right now 😢 💔....thank you for this...

[@itsU-240]

Man this sucks...i hope you heal soon

[@chiadaphney3453]

Oh myyy I'm so sorry..hope u get thru this soon ok. .much luv

[@helloworld7818]

If he starts acting strange there's another girl

[@hannahhjanaee]

I’m so sorry… I feel your pain… my ex broke it offf with me a few days ago and he was acting off before we broke up.. he says he needs space. This is exactly what I’m preparing myself for. :(

[@Americanpatriot-zo2tk]

Let her have that guy. He did you a favor!

[@teresa.bird.reginaldi]

Can we just talk about the immaturity of posting a screenshot of their conversation and 'IYKYK', knowing the former gf would see it 🙄
Thanks Matt for addressing the topic of someone moving on super quickly. I've had it happen to me and also, unintentionally and very unfortunately, made someone else feel this way. It's awful and we all need to remember we still have the same worth, and that whoever it was, they weren't our person.

[@bekalynn1980]

A yes! Why is she following them! If it’s going to bother her to see him moved on. And why does she need to valid her relationship by putting it on social media like that. I have been seeing someone for almost three months now and it’s going really strong. And I don’t feel the need to tell the world are personal stuff. I will say something if I am engaged

[@Nah-ah]

Totally immature that they sound so perfect for each other! I guess one has to reach that stage in their healing and say, “I actually dodged a bullet.”

[@teresa.bird.reginaldi]

@@Nah-ahthe girl who wrote the letter did dodge a bullet! And listening to the story, the girl knew his ex girlfriend would see.

[@bekalynn1980]

@@Nah-ah We don’t know that. I personally felt there was a level of lack of responsibility on her part. The caller. His behavior on social media we don’t know what it was it’s possible he didn’t think he was doing anything wrong and got tired of apologizing. I don’t like text break ups. Or let’s get a place together then leaving in lurch.
But the guy is not wrong if there is constant fighting in honey moon stage there is a problem

[@fleshmaiden69]

A lot of immature people out there

[@ali7335]

To me, sounds like "future faking" and when held accountable to dreams sold jumped ship to an immediate new source of attention and admiration... wouldn't rule out codependent tendencies either. Dodged a bullet! Don't forget who he showed you to be when he comes back full of apologies and "remorse" down the road.

[@Red-fg9qr]

My boyfriend broke up with me over text after 8 months, at 2am, with no way to correct things. By the looks of it, it was something he was thinking on for weeks and never said anything to me, even after I asked many times if he was feeling ok/happy (and him saying yes, every time).
Then this happened, people are crazy, if you EVER get in a relationship MAKE SURE they're HAPPY ENOUGH BY THEMSELVES so they don't bring the giant bag of drama/issues/etc. of their previous relationships / situations. No matter what you do, you will never please them. I tried, many times.

[@leedlbagginshield8492]

I experienced something similar and it didn’t make sense to me. I think I was his rebound :( Lots of trust issues .
It sucks when you had feelings for them but it gets getter

[@poorhai9321]

That is the love bombing period... only time will tell his true feelings after their fights and arguments and problems comes

[@Swiss_Girl]

My ex of five years had a girlfriend two weeks later. She left her overnight-bag in our appartment. oh and we were engaged. the wedding was planned three month before the break up. I can laugh now. Its three years later and I have the best boyfriend now. life is just crazy sometimes

[@hafsarashid7777]

My partner of 6 years broke up with me over text. This alone tells so much about his character. This video opened my eyes to some of his character flaws that I've always ignored. 6 years is indeed a lot of of time to cause irreparable damage to someone and I've been subjected to that but now, through these videos, I'm able to make sense of everything that's happened which is helping me get my closure. Thanks alot Matthew.

[@zinazoulou3574]

hi sister, I'm wondering if you are doing better now? was he your husband or boyfriend ? if I may ask

[@thripuranenimary5592]

Sorry to hear that, I can feel ypu. Even my bf broke up with me over a text without giving proper explanation or letting me talk. It hurts badly

[@tanyabaker9274]

You can’t take it personally all you can do is keep yourself together.Always 💕

[@tanyabaker9274]

??

[@audra1976oliver]

Yes, disrespect towards you and probably disrespect to that new person too. This speaks volumes about what they said and what they didn't do to honor your wishes. The true colors have shown. I think it's that you didn't want to believe he was really like that. Like Matthew said, better to know now than 6 years later.

[@quantumalight28]

How to spot a guy whose secretly planning his exit plan!
Signs to watch for before it happens so you can take back control of your life!!
Matthew's next video topic. 😁

[@judithcharvit7982]

Mattew has the most reasonable and sensitive approach on these matters. love it

[@jennas.9063]

Idk what it is about the 6 month mark but this legit happened to me too. Went from calling me every day to one morning breaking up over text. The whole “it’s me not you” bullshit story instead of being direct. You’re right, if after half a year of being with you they can just abruptly end things, especially over text like a coward, it’s a blessing they didn’t waste 6 years and cause even more damage. Definitely dodged a bullet.

[@arnavsrivastava4635]

Same thing, after being together for 5-6 months, till the last day, she texted me that things will be fine between us, dont worry, I love you, she went back to her home, nd the next morning she wakes up nd text me that things are not working between us, nd we should end this, she broke up with me on text and 2 days later got committed with one of my friends

[@rachelstone7072]

💖Moving on Fast Does NOT Mean Better. So When they BOUNCE Back tell EM NO TRAITOR FACE you Gotta GO.😁

[@jackie41083]

Yeeees

[@skyfall1481]

Yes. They usually don’t find someone better, they just find someone.

[@ribbs13]

I’m so over trying to find someone. No one will ever hurt me again.

[@ramparkash2318]

Robyn Ann. Are you saying ture.?

[@stariadreamtea]

Had this happen to me after a 10yr relationship. They moved on so fast and it made me feel angry they didnt reflect + grieve the decade we had together.

[@joncooper107]

Currently just began this after 10 years of marriage

[@kmat89]

Same. 10 years as well. Unreal.

[@tootb.9980]

I feel like this is a typical rebound that will eventually fail. Could be wrong due to the length of the relationship but if it's a serious relationship then a serious time to recover is a must

[@isabellakay4058]

i’ve always been kind, in my romantic relationships and friendships. i gave him my world, i put him first. he hurt me multiple times and i still let him back in. now he is living his life 2 weeks later while i’m stuck alone in the dark because for once i put myself first (breaking up)

[@Val-ep5zq]

I gave him 4 years, same situation with this girls story. I would bring something up, he would change for a time and then do it over again. I put in the work to change myself and he never put in the work because he was “helping me”. He ended it with me, honestly if he hadn’t I would have wasted more time because I always wanted to look at what was positive in the relationship. I learned that as much as you love someone and respect them you can’t force them to respect you too.

[@she_sings_delightful_things]

Thank you!!!! Hearing this video really solidified my decision to cut all ties with my ex.
I learned my ex (of almost 10 years) had immediately began trying to date other women after the breakup. The decision was never something I wanted, but the disrespect had grown completely out of control and he simply did not value my presence in his life. Leaving, I foolishly assumed, would force him to realize I wasn't going to take his disloyalty any longer. I had hoped through counseling he would realize how certain behaviors were damaging our relationship and make the necessarychanges needed to be together healthily.
Nope!
Initially I chalked his desire to date so quickly up to a deep need for companionship as he isn't a person who functions well alone. It bothered me, but I still kept hope alive that he'd eventually come around.
NOPE!
I hadn't spoken to him in almost a year and after inserting himself back into my life without warning, all those feelings of longing came rushing back, feelings I'd fought so desperately to suppress. Seeing him again causedbme to reach out and I admitted my feelings, as did he. Well, it was no more than 2 days later when I learned he had been trying SUPER hard to begin a relationship with a woman who low and behold, I always believed he would go after had we ever parted ways. It especially hurt to hear the things he had been saying about me TO her. We also found out he had been lying to both of us....she was surprised, me, not so much. Another thing that really, really hurt is that in speaking to thus woman, she basicslly detailed his tactics in trying to date her....it was EXACTLY how he hooked me: let me tell you my sib story of how terribly my ex treated me....feel sorry for me so I can manipulate you just as I did the last one. Thank goodness she's much more wise as I because she could sense the manipulation as he explained he wasn't the problem in either his previous failed marriage or our 10 year run.
Last night I had a deep conversation with a few close friends that kept trying to convince me my ex regrets messing up and still wants me. It made me extremely angry because knowing the truth, I tried to lay out the evidence but it fell on deaf ears. It (stupidly) made me start to see a glimmer of hope again (STUPID!!) Well, thank you for this video, Matt. My ex was NOT "my person". I desperately wanted him to be. Never felt love so deeply before, but unfortunately he never felt the same un return and I will NEVER again hold faith in an illusion.
Thank you enormously for the work that you do. I am so appreciative 💛

[@robertoieva9809]

Your words are healing… almost the same situation, that hurts so much

[@alenagovekar]

The last line really hit me deep. And this is the first time since my breakup i actually feel better because the exact same situation happened with he also broke up after 6 months on text. And Matthew you are right i should be glad that I'm now I'm not the subject for his character flaws!

[@dawnie3021]

So happy for you. How did you get your ex back??

[@BruceDewayne98]

Going through this at the moment. Only thing is, we have a child together. Hard to get over when you have to be constantly reminded of it/her. Through the exchanging of our kid, having to still see her every other day. Life can be so cruel.

[@radhiha191]

I do understand the need to move on and stop romanticizing fantasy but I cant help and think that it isnt as black and white as people think. I really wanna hold on to hope that some people are meant to lose each other first before finding each other again.

[@insanityrecords8869]

I would also like to take a shot at answering this poor girls question
Hi ik I'm a total stranger and you'll prolly never see this but I'm sure this message will help someone. To answer your primary question your relationship wasn't in your head. What you experienced was real the person just wasn't the right one. He's happy now but give it like two weeks his happiness from entering a relationship will subside and the pain from losing you will set in since he tried to ignore it. Listen just cause he's moved on doesn't mean he's actually moved on you'll always be a part of him. Your time with him can never be undone, the memories will always exist, the arguments, the passion, the tears you cried, and the scars left on your heart are all the same for him whether he wants to accept it or not. You will always leave a impact.
Now for the underlying question "What should I be feeling/What do I do." Or we'll that's what I perceived as the underlying question I could be wrong after all I'm no guru just a chill dude on UA-cam. Regardless here's my take on it, you brush off your shoulders, grab your phone, text your friends and set up a lunch/date/event of some kind kick back and relax. Take your time and allow yourself to cultivate the melancholy that's being felt. Once it's cultivated you'd be surprised how Positive something so "Negative" could become.

[@cherrybacon3319]

It is also possible that the 'other person' was there the whole time so the possibility of the Ex moving on quickly was even stronger. 🍒

[@meganwells1298]

My ex and I were absolutely happy (as I saw it) and got involved in a community musical. I as the set designer, he as the lead. He ended up getting emotionally involved with the female lead and dumping me before the show started (last week). And has gotten together with her simultaneously.
He told me all the right things and showed me all the passion over our 7 months together. I am still in shock at the abrupt ending. What he told me on breaking up was "I love you, but I'm not in love with you". Hard to believe he was that good of a liar for this long. He claimed that he was saying all the right things to deepen his feelings that weren't there yet.
Seems he's chasing the all elusive feeling of infatuation that he thinks is love, and hurting everyone along the way in his selfishness. I'm devastated. He was so convincing and I feel so betrayed. Is his judgement clouded by his new feelings, or did he truly never love me?

[@bleedulus]

ouch. that’s brutal. i’m sorry for your pain

[@me-nc1vx]

Exact same thing happened to me.
You are not alone, and god will help us get through this💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽💕

[@meganwells1298]

@@me-nc1vx Yeah it feels so textbook. Very specific, but textbook all the same. Finally going to therapy and working through my trust issues. I need to feel secure in myself for having good judgment of people. Will take even longer to trust anyone and be comfortable enough to date or open my heart up again.

[@meganwells1298]

@@bleedulus Thank you. Wish I could say I'm over it, but at least it's become less painful. Still think about it 5-6 times per day.

[@bleedulus]

@@meganwells1298 😞 i’m so sorry. sending you christmas hugs. im getting over a breakup as well…

[@Iburn247]

They leave during the relationship, so moving on seems faster to the other person

[@raginisharma9302]

Yes but it’s all about changing our mindset which prevents us from getting depressed about this situation

[@Lucy-cr9ik]

I was in a relationship for 11 years, we had one child together. He suddenly up and left stating that he couldn't be in a relationship anymore.
Fast forward four months and it transpires that he was cheating and is now with her.
The difficult thing is that I have no choice but to keep in contact with him because of our son. I never thought this could happen, I gave so much. I invested 11 years of my life just to be crushed - it's all just so cruel.

[@MsMimikria]

So sorry to hear it. I was also knowing this person for 11 tears. We had this summer love that we couldn't breath without talking. But we were from different coutries so he said doesn't believe in long-distance. We've met years later, he again was amazing and then running away. But 2019 when we've met he was at the end of a marriage with Mexican that never got visa to live with him in Europe. Well, he wasn't sure and almost missed me but finally split up with her, at the beginning of Covid pandemic decided to move to Bulgaria in the apartment I just bought and was paying alone. He had to finish his projects so physically came 1st Sept 2020 and on 14th proposed me. We were engaged, trying for baby and waiting his divorce documents to be finalised. But at some point some financial concerns started pushing him, so he started agressing against me verbally, started breaking stuff at home and finally hit me. I have always thought this can't happen to me. Even previous summer when he was again under a lot of stress I visited therapist. She told me he is too narcissistic. So since January I was going around my own house on eggshells. Until in May he started agressing every day, breaking things, hitting me but never apologise after. So finally after a bachelorette party drunk as fuck accused me of having sperm on my shirt. He got violent so locked myself in bedroom and some time later run away. He asked for 3 days to.move out......Finally got even more but on 1 June he was out.......but I started believing we can re-build our relationship, he will change......and since then just drama from him, me trying to please him so we had good conversation. Until it hits me. He was claiming tomorrow he goes on vacation to his country and have no money- asked to borrow. But actually last weekend has rented car and drove 400 km to the seaside....to be with his new girlfriend and her colleagues (which I happen to know so received pictures). We had our first talk on 18th June because before he was all the time angry (and drinking codka since the morning)

[@MsMimikria]

To maybe sum up - 1. He met the girl after. He left me because was too afraid to face devils in himself + stopped communicating and started drinking a lot because of stress.
2. All my friends kept telling me - thanks God this happens now and you don't have kids

[@Lucy-cr9ik]

@@MsMimikria So sorry to hear that. Wishing you the very best for your future 😊

[@KonohazFinest]

My girl left me after 15 years for the same guy I caught her cheating on me with and barely a month after she kicked me out she already introduced him to our daughter. I feel your pain and I'm sending my love and hope you're doing better.

[@Dee-iy9uq]

@@KonohazFinest I’m sorry to hear that bro. Hope you’re doing well man I pray for you.

[@juliburton6534]

I was in a serious relationship for 4 years. I broke up with him because I didn’t think we could make each other happy in the long term. Not 2 weeks later he was in a relationship with another one. Less than a year later they were living together and engaged. It’s still painful to know he was able to move on from me so quickly. I guess I’m happy he found his person. I guess I’m just jealous it’s been over a year and I’m still waiting to find my person. 😔

[@ramparkash2318]

Juli Burton. Are you saying ture.?

[@johnwick2338]

Hope u doing fine 😊

[@christollawrence3330]

No worry if he was with you all of 4 years and didn't even got engaged to you and less than a year he engaged this other women. Just know you didn't lost him. He lost you.
It maybe long but it won't be forever. Just go out have fun and hold your self worth high.

[@marygracearevalo3963]

Its important in the relation to have trust faith and understand with each other...if any problem will come they already willing to help each other to fix the problem. And be patient with each other.

[@lauraswoboda6265]

For me the true pain is that there won't be anyone better than him. But even worse, that he'll find someone else - not necessarily love, even if he found someone just to F I'd feel heartbroken.

[@helenzielasek1812]

What I Love about this Video ist Not only the deph and wisdom of your Insights but also your empathy about the issue. I am very touched by inspiring US to move on and more. Thanks so much, Matt🌅🌸💙

[@toomuchsugar5051]

My heart goes out to this girl. I hope you find love. This guy and girl both sound selfish and evil.
I’m going through the same. I was dating a guy for a month (spent almost every day that month seeing him). He lied about wanting a relationship. He then told me when I confronted him that we wanted something casual (all of a sudden after sleeping with me various times).
I went no contact for 10 days and then reached out. He said he had another girl staying over with him that he’s known for a while and he’s choosing her.
By definition this is not my guy. And I wouldn’t trust somebody who operates that way. Please stay strong. I am trying to. You got this.
Thank you Matthew Hussey, you’re like the friend and dad I never had.
Dating in your 30’s is tough.

[@Ahmed35956]

Lol just being used and discarded by men. Listen to kevin samuels

[@zeenathsultana5091]

Dear Mike, listening to you every day whenever I am sitting alone, contemplating on a recent heart-wrencing breakup, has been one of my primary support to get going. It feels like I am listening to a best friend that I don't have. Truly grateful for your wise and useful advice.

[@gigglez2326]

Exact same thing happened to me, but we already lived together, talked about marriage and kids, and when we broke up he sent me videos and pictures of them in bed together, laughed at me being upset because our relationship was over then she stalked my old Facebook posts with him and commented “let’s talk about it” on about 5 different ones trying to antagonize me. They’re both cruel.

[@ivannasasira2563]

He still loved you, trust me.......... You're are the winner in this situation

[@diasiaswanson43]

Update ?

[@aubreezarges]

I was with my ex for 13years, since I was a teenager. we lived together for 11 years. A week after we broke up & I moved out he had a new girlfriend and after 2months with her, they moved in together. I don't want him back but I feel so thrown off that someone could move on from a 13year relationship in 1 week. how is that even possible?

[@ragingmetalhead1624]

He didn't do it in a week ... he probably had that person in line for a long time and was slowly detaching from you in the meantime ... i know its hard to hear things like this but it happened to me too

[@Nah-ah]

Sorry to hear that but he sounds like he had checked out way before he moved out.

[@itsU-240]

So sorry to hear that...i hope you have healed from that pain

[@Swiss_Girl]

as hard as it sounds, he must have known her before the breakup. one week later?!? My ex fiance was sooo similar. We were engaged, living together for five years, the wedding was planned three month before the break up and after two weeks the new girl left her overnigjt bag in our appartment. so crazy! I am pretty sure he knew her already and it was easier to break up with me knowing the new one is waiting..
but now looking back, I am truly thankful he left. I am in a much better place now without him.

[@rainerneumeister5239]

I gave 5.5 years of my life in a relationship with a person who then finished by text!! It’s taken me 2 years including 7 months of weekly councilling to get over this relationship.

[@shanesmythe9101]

2 weeks or so after 2 years with a guy i work with. now i get to see them everyday. it’s all about accountability on my end, i need to choose better women.

[@countcrow]

Does this not sound like love bombing? All in at the beginning ...

[@michaleneyanda7737]

My bf of 2 years just broke up with me & in 6 days sent me a pic of him and his new girl!

[@jojohanna217]

Breaking up by text after 6 months..well in my case after 3 years he just ghosted me, that's even worse you know 🙁

[@taleebjeed6481]

I hate breakups on phone!

[@arthurdane8508]

Ive just found out my ex of about 5/6 months has started seeing someone new. I was a little upset at first, but actually realised its quite liberating. I don’t have to spend all my
Time wondering if there is still something there, or wondering what they are up to etc.
The truth, however difficult, will set you free

[@CellarDoorRoar]

I have suspicions my now ex left me for someone but I don’t know for certain. We were together on and off for almost 6 years, so hearing those last minutes of Matthew saying did you see it before, be glad you didn’t do this for 6 years, hurts because I believe there were signs from the beginning… we said goodnight I love you like normal Monday night only for me to wake up to being blocked and completely shut out. Extremely painful. Take these signs serious in the beginning instead of thinking things can change. It can be very difficult but even more difficult years later

[@Indite_Biden]

He’ll come creeping back, they always do, wreaking their havoc😬

[@CellarDoorRoar]

@@Indite_Biden praying for strength to put me first 🙏🏼

[@haniablondi465]

Oh sis I feel you I am also now divorced after 6 years he cheated and left for her.. and yep the sign were there but I believed his words rather then his action

[@steventhomas4734]

@cin you will be fine

[@mj-np9sy]

Sorry bud. I got ghosted over a year ago and it still haunts me. How do you treat someone like that. They're scum and not worth our time.

[@amiramahgoub]

Hi Matthew. I'm glad I watched this video. It was clearly explained to me. It doesn't matter of its 6 months or 6 years. In my case it was wrong relationship to begin with. And I have to tell the truth that I trusted him fully to move here in 🇺🇸 with him. The truth is I was blind and lied , falling into a relationship that will end up shortly.

[@fishcanon8141]

Ha, my ex cheated on me with two people at the end of our relationship. And now he’s still with one of them. He moved on before the breakup lol

[@mirembeamber8962]

Same here

[@trekstarsam2494]

I’m in this situation right now. But it was 4 years together. We broke up in March or early April and 2 months later he has a new gf that he’s flaunting around on social media. It hurts since I’m not dating anyone. I’m open to meeting someone new but it’s not a life’s mission at this point. I’m trying to heal and discover myself more. But apparently he got back on the dating sites immediately.

[@ramparkash2318]

Trek Star Sam. Are you saying ture.

[@moshimoshi400]

Same here. Dated for 2.5 years, and broke up 3 months ago. Throughout our relationship, he didn't really consider my feelings when it came to his behavior on social media either.. he left his relationship status on single for MONTHS after we started dating, and when I brought it up that it bothered me that he was technically still advertising himself as single, all he did was delete his relationship status (not change it to in a relationship). Furthermore, it took him months to even say "I love you," which is something that made me feel insecure when he didn't say after so long of dating.
Anyway, fast forward, I just discovered that 2 months after the breakup, he is not only with a new girl, but changed his relationship status to "in a relationship with [name]", AND commented on her post of them that he loves her so much and that she is his world, only after dating 3 weeks.... talk about heartbroken all over again. 💔
I havent even thought of dating again because I poured my heart and soul into this guy and wanted to get married and start building a life together. It is just so difficult to view the positive side of things when all you feel is that they never loved you like you did and it shows by how fast they moved on without giving you another thought. 😢

[@marlobx7442]

Deep

[@s.elizabeth1753]

It hurts so much. It feels like I'm going to throw my heart up, huge lump in my throat, tension in my forehead. I relate to this story. 6 months, and I kept getting upset with him about his lack of communication, he would apologize and continue to be distant and not call or answer my calls, eventually...he went back to his ex over Christmas break. He was sketchy and I knew something was up.. fuck it hurts

[@katekoger1794]

This is difficult to appreciate because I was dumped by a lying cheater after 4 yrs of him saying things just like that, "you're the women of my dreams" "I've never loved anyone like this". I'm so heart broken by just the years of games and lies. How will I ever believe another guy by his words or actions again? I realize my fault of excusing red flags, but seriously, how do you trust anyone?

[@Good.London]

I'm a guy trying to get the girl i want and I have to say Matthew hussey you have helped me so much with your advice , I just reverse your videos from the girl wanting to get the guy to the guy wanting to get the girl.

[@TheMisssy2]

8 years and a lot of damage was done over that time period. But, your video helped me to see....its ok I loved with all I had and he played me for a fool. Yes, my self esteem is shot to hell....but yes, I will start the gym this weekend after 4 months of wallowing.

[@ashleykathryn9038]

Isn't it a red flag when someone moves on that quickly? I thought it was haha

[@mj-np9sy]

It's a huge red flag and why you should ask everyone how their last relationship ended and take it with a grain of salt because there's at least two sides to that story and people will try to make themselves sound like the better person. You can usually tell if you don't ignore the flags.

[@ashleykathryn9038]

@@mj-np9sy Solid advice

[@leekautz2926]

Heartbreak is heartbreak. Nothing anybody says will heal that...including this guy. Props for trying though buddy:)

[@melissatdo]

This saved my heart, there is light at the end of the tunnel

[@gloomyguymoe8866]

I had a baby with this girl I was with for 2 years and she left me to “work on herself” but is messing around and is already trying to commit to another person. It breaks my heart because I really cared so much about her. It’s only barley about to reach 2 months since the split but it just hurts because i tried to work it out and even talk and she wants nothing to do with me. It sucks and everything just seems fake because she’s just going back in her past ways when all I wanted was the best for her.

[@camuyana]

Rest assured that that last at the beginning of the relationship will dwindle big time and he will find

[@fowbwsf]

Exactly what I needed right now. Thank you, Matthew! 😊

[@mabinogidrws]

I had a FWB, we were exclusive, and when we were together, he told me about his holiday he was going on in October by himself. Fast forward to October, after he's broken it off with me, wanting to remain friends, been acting hot and cold for months, then being angry at me for someone gossiping about something, I found out from someone else he's actually going on his trip with a "friend" he was texting while we were together. Total slap in the face for me. And I assume she knows nothing about him sleeping with me then. I feel stupid because I trusted him. Some people are just arseholes.

[@draco9306]

4 days.....it only took her 4 days to find another guy.

[@arnavsrivastava4635]

2 days in my case

[@TheDionne1988]

My now ex cheated on me whilst I was pregnant and now left me for her when our son was one month old, it’s been 2 months and I’m still struggling x

[@algoretex45]

I've been committed to my own happiness for so long a relationship seems toxic from the outside looking in. I'm still yet to see a relationship I envy, they all seem so trivial and false.

[@tooksross]

Needed to hear this one. Sounded somewhat similar to my previous relationship and this gave me some great insights. Thank you ❤️

[@CrystleSky]

Matthew is always an encouragement. Love his energy. Love from a growing UA-camr 💕

[@moonie1145]

All of those tips are great, especially try not looking them up, be it in a form of a conversation or simply checking them on socials be it their posts, stories, followings, activity status, those things can seem initally harmless, however they can be quite dangerous and damaging to your mental well being and healing, in fact the more you do such thing the longer you prolong your own pain and healing, for several reasons you can thing that you need to do those things but honestly none of the "reasons" your mind comes up with isn't truly good enough and worth it. In fact your peace shouldn't be based on what your ex is doing or not doing, how they are feeling themselves, I understand that certain thoughts or scenarios can be very upsetting, dissapointing, even disrespectful, but honestly it doesn't matter, and sometimes it can even feel like you've been lied to if they have told you such things such as "i want to be on my own, i want to figure myself out" "relationships aren't for me"
but bottomline is that regardless if their actions and behavior matches the reason of them walking away, they decided to walk away, and not putting in the work for relationships was more important to them then all of the things they'd have to let go off by walking away, they chose themselves, their needs, and pretty much their selfishness, so don't in anyway after break up try to remain "connected to them" by checking their activities that do not concern you, and if you ended everything in a "civil" way and are still friends on socials simply mute them and their activites and don't go to their page, because while it can feel reliving or even make you feel you are in control, in most cases such activites are just gonna cause obssesive and intrusive thoughts, in facts you are gonn be overthinking about them and what they are and aren't doing, how they can possibly be feeling, so just stop, i know that it can feel soothing to know that the other person is struggling too, or they haven't started anything with anyone yet, but honestly at some point they are gonna be moved on in all senses possible, wish them well if you can, but most importantly don't prolong your healing, move on, let go of them completely, even let go of some breadcrumbs, you'r ex shouldn't be the reason you feel comforted, especially after putting you through a great discomfort. Focus on yourself, don't think or try to get info on what they are probably doing now, save yourself all of the anxiety and overthinking. None of their actions define anything related to you, they don't conern you, you don't concern them, it''s over, accept it trully, don't try to hold back some bits and pieces, and let go so you can truly move on and heal.
Take care of yourselves.

[@vladimirpesic1425]

My gosh, thank you. This one helped me sort shit out inside of my head. Similar to my situation, feels like you just described it. Thank you!!!

[@Ronnie90210]

I was with someone for 8 months and I broke up with them through text. After knowing how they were and seeing things Twitter that would like (acting like they are single i.e. using the "hand raise" emoji when someone tweeted "who wants to play games and cuddle etc.) This was the first three months and I ignored it. Then other things would happen where I didnt feel valued because I would think of things I knew, I should have communicate this but I really liked this dude. This past March, I texted him how I felt and ended things...I felt more comfortable doing it through text for proof just in case words are twisted...I loved this man but I was sick of the toxicity. I wish BOTH of out communication was better, now his is in another relationship/dating after four months (sad face)

[@lisaanderson1695]

The new girl in this story is being deliberately unkind and the letter writer should block her. The new girl is feeling insecure in the relationship even if the ex-BF is not.