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Let people be in their own worlds
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- Опубліковано 11 чер 2024
- It's not your job to change people or "fix" them. Let people be in their own worlds. Forcing people to change is a losing battle. Learn more about that by watching this video.
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Disclaimer: By watching and applying this advice to your life you agree to take 100% RESPONSIBILITY for all consequences. This is NOT medical advice. Use this advice at your own risk. Lucas is NOT responsible for any of your actions.
#consciousness #spirituality #personalgrowth
Hello :)
I'm doing 1-to-1 coaching.
If you're interested in working with me book a call here: calendly.com/lucas-segeren/30min
Hey Lucas! You’re a non-masculine long haired pussy, who looks like he spends all day eating granola wishing he knew how to make girls wet. Now by your logic, you shouldn’t go trying to change people or trying to change what I’m saying. You should just leave this comment here without doing anything about it so everyone can see what a monumental dork you are. 😂😉
this reminds me of a quote "a person can only understand you as much as they have understood themselves."
Yes
💯💯💯
wow.. so true
Did you hear that from me? 😂😂
@@user-fq1my9ks4g who?
thank you philosophical penguinz0
The moist philosopher 🫡
this made me laugh so hard
My thought exactly 😂
This reminds me of a quote "You can't change the people around you but you can change the people around you"
❤
HUH
@@sokawai5i think theyre tryna say u cant change a person fundamentally like u can’t fix someone but u can change ur environment and surround urself with other ppl or something like that idk 😭
@@sokawai5Meaning you can’t change a person ideas or thoughts but you can replace them with someone else.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
It is deeply encouraging to see people in their twenties and early thirties focusing on this level of authenticity. Young ones, please say a prayer or send good vibes to the sleeping ones who came before you and who are more deeply imprisoned after being complicit in the lies for a very long time. And please don’t judge. If it is never too late to do the right thing, then it is not too late for us to grow and walk in beauty.
Much love to you
You are beautiful and you always have been. Much love! ❤️💚💛
Beautifully said!!!!!!
You are a blessing.
Sounds like you did judge 😂
"We cannot change anything unless we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it opresses, and I'm the opressor of the person I condemn" - Carl Jung
Even if we condemn ourselves?
@@nvmffs Of course.
@@nvmffsespecially so.
i never try to change anyone, and let them be but i absolutely hate it when ppl try to change me. I've experienced it through family, friends, society and the internet.
Yes, it's very uncomfortable and ruins the relationship.
Fyi, my ultimate "passed the vibe check" is when a speaker gets distracted mid-concept by a bird
😂😂😂
The birds are the best haha
Let people live in the reality they want. We will keep designing our own
Yes
I love your content!
@@userwasneverfound I'm glad you do :)
💯 👍🏾😊
@lucas_s Love the message, this video really resonates with me! 😊👍🏾👸🏾
this reminds me so much of my situation in the corporate workplace. I am a pretty silent person, solitary and introverted, which is the holy trinity of standing out as a black sheep in this world that only values extraversion, loudness and constant noise. My coworkers tried, and still try hard to change me to fit into their view, to transform me just like they are. People will try to change you because they want society to be as monochrome as possible, no one must stick out like "a sore thumb". Everyone has to be extroverted, everyone has to be like them. And it is often with subtle messages that would make anyone who is not firmly grounded in their mind to doubt themselves, and join the circus. It's like they cannot FATHOM the idea of a silent person in the workplace. They want you so hard to be like them, like "how dare you be different like that" ? For example they hit me pretty often with the "oh you're so quieeeeet today"', or "oh you don't come to lunch with us because you don't like us huh", etc. They simply cannot fathom the idea of someone enjoying to take lunch alone. Sorry i prefer to eat silently or listen to the birds singing rather than you gossiping and talking about this mortgage lawsuit you've been dealing with for the past idk years. I know for me that it is tiring to be around 10 people, eat at the same time, make small talk, putting on this mask and retrun to work exhausted mentally, and the cycle goes on. I used to, but i won't be putting a mask of a bubbly extroverted person and SACRIFICE MY INNER PEACE. Also the sad thing is that some of them might bne putting on a mask but they're so deeply down in the circus mud that they can't remove it anymore, otherwise it's gonna break with the personna (faker personna) that they've been displaying all along. No, i prefer to be real from the get go. Let them not understand that or see you as a black sheep, who cares. At the end of the day it is between us and the peace of your mind.
Thank you for sharing :)
i relate to this a thousand percent
Wow, relate to this so hard
I'm good now but this dynamic used to be so annoying in the past
Keep being yourself as fully as you can and let the things outside you be as they are.
You'll find your own way to keep a balance but most of what people talk is stupidity you're not missing out on Too much ❤
Dang yes so damn true
Great description of ignorant society
“Trust in the unfoldment of life.” Beautiful sentence.
Thanks for noticing :) Glad you enjoyed
Pretty much 100% of my controlling behaviors come from me being insecure and not knowing who I am/where I stand. As I get older I don't feel the need to "change peoples mind" as much anymore. Plus, I realized how narcissistic it was to assume I always know best and to tell another grown adult what to do. The shame solved it for me 😂 love the video!
Those are very honest and profound realizations. Great work
I appreciate hearing self reflection is difficult. I feel I struggle assuming self reflection is easy to everyone but me and I’m doing it wrong.
Cannot express how much I needed to hear these words at this EXACT moment. Quite literally. Thank you
Glad it helped ❤
feeling the exact same way!
"MIND YOUR BUSINESS" is probably the best advice i have ever heard. That and "STAY IN YOUR LANE" basically nind your business 😂😂😂 lots of ppl have a weird sense of control and wanting to control those around them
Just leave people alone. Including yourself.
Changing people has never worked. I always try to do so because i want complete acceptance and companionship.
I had to come to terms with this concept in order to stop hemorrhaging money to "help" my hoarding mother. She is happy in her hoard. Unfortunately, her actions hurt those around her. So they only thing I could do was change myself -- and not be around her. I couldn't even "save" (change) the people around her that she was hurting. They were not minors. So I was not obligated to "save" (change) them either. If they were minors, that would be another issue. But they have free will. And so do I. :) Hard lesson (and expensive one) to learn.
Same here in the realization/ revelation of my mother . I’m not the “Savior / God” I gave over her in faith to the Higher Authority that knows all . Free will …it’s HER CHOICE and my choice TO FINALLY SEE the chaos and move out and away into my world of Peace.
It’s like Oil and water. I prefer water and to feel clean 😉🦋😇🙌
What art tries to do is it tries to slap you awake by putting the beauty of infinite creation a little piece of it up on display for you on a pedestal so you can look at it and say oh yeah. Of course. Look there it is. It's so beautiful. It's so amazing and then that opens your eyes a little bit and you can say oh yeah look that thing's beautiful too and that's beautiful and that's beautiful and that person's beautiful and I'm beautiful. Oh my god it's all so beautiful and then that takes you to a whole new level as a human being and then you can delight in reality and you can enjoy everything as one giant work of art. Cosmic work of art.
Yes, art does do exactly that.
Thank you scholarly Jesus 😌🙏
Love this... I've been saying lately that two people could be standing right next to each other having a conversation and be in two completely different universes. 🌀🌀
Yo, dude . Ur right . I figured that out two years ago during my uni life . People have their own beliefs, personalities, goals, and their meanings of life in the same way you are what you are
This kind help me today, cause my family is always complaining about something and when I give them advice the treat me like everything I say is worthless or stupid. I got up today angry and disappointed after a fight I had yesterday with a family member. I said to myself, let them be, whatever they want to do is not my problem. Gotta focus on me and just me.
Yes, sometimes the wiser is option is to let go. Sorry to hear about your struggles
Amen. The carpenter of Galilee made it very clear in saying,
"Love your neighbor as yourself."
:)
I could never completely comprehend how much trying to change the people around me has caused me so much damage until I watched this video and couldn't help but cry. Thank you for this, Lucas. You don't know how much making this video has lit a tiny light, just enough to guide a tiny step forward. That tiny step means so much, especially as someone who has been in freeze mode for so long now.
I needed to hear this! Its so easy for the ego to lie to itself and convince you you're doing it in good faith when you're not.
Yep. Many people don't understand that.
This is a very nuanced topic that inevitably leads to taking it upon oneself to make peace with things being out of your control. Like that Gandhi quote "be the change you wish to see in the world". To take part in the moral victory. And this may mean different things to different people
Fyi, my ultimate "passed the vibe check" is when someone is delighted by a bird mid-speech 😂
haha how can I not be. They're the best.
Smart people aren't all these teachers or anything like that.. it's people like this.. who actually want to help people and not just follow the system like robot...
The people around me tell me im “too much & sick in the head” just because I’m anxious very sensitive. I feel unsafe and i ask for reassurance but people say they don’t have time for me. I decided to devoted my time to myself and learn to feel safe by own company bc i can’t live with co dependency wirh the kind of people who are around me. In other words i stopped ppl pleasing and begging for attention… people started drifting away from me now that i became a stronger version of myself. Isn’t that funny? But i tell myself: room for new better relationships
thank you for sharing
This is a nice message but it’s hard to deny that there are people that are dangerous in this world that may benefit from change.
The message is that when it comes to people you interact with in your personal life you can't force a change upon them. Everyone can benefit from changes, but imposing it upon them against their will isn't sustainable (especially in your close relationships).
This also doesn't mean you simply let people abuse you or take advantage of you. I'm going to be making a part 2 of this video that includes the common misconceptions people are having.
yes in my case I feel like I need to break generational curse. My family will become more happy if my grandparents who we all dependent on financially change and stop emotionally abusive to us.
@@icedcoffeeluvr I felt there was a generational curse on me too. just ride it out. Make the change. All externalities are ultimately false.
“A person forced against there will, is of the same opinion still” - unknown to me
Thank you so much for this video, I needed it. I have a family that I love, but they are narcissistic and bullies and I feel so hurt sometimes that I want to try to “change” the way they think or their actions, but in the end it wont work. I have to focus on changing myself for the better and I have been!
Changing people never ever works. People can change but by themselves due to some things happening to them that makes them realize something and they need to have a will to change on their own in the first place. Otherwise is just you wasting your precious life energy… (I’m somebody who wasted a LOT of it)
Your video found me at a time in my life where I'm finally ready to accept this and wow is it freeing :) Thank you!
Glad it helped you
As an introvert.. you really did the lords work with this video. Minding the business that pays me comes naturally to me. Yet, other people seem to be so bothered by it. Yikes……
❤
I’ve had these abstract thoughts in my head about my current relationship and this video really pinned them down. I’m not quite sure we are aligned any longer. Thank you.
I love, LOVE how you approached the intro to this video. You jumped straight into it, and it caught me tf off guard but in a good way. Lol. Thank you!
Glad you enjoyed :)
This is a very hard video to watch for me. My bf left me. I hope it gets better with time, but your words help me ease the pain a bit for now.
Truth is uncomfortable and sad, but I hope it makes me grow to become a better person.
This is something I really needed to hear today. As a teen, I didn't understand this and because I wanted people to be happy I would give unsolicited advice. Now I know better and am reaching a phase in my life where I am letting go of people who are not on the same wavelength as me value-wise and I don't feel a deep-connection with in conversation. Thank you for making this video Lucas. It is worth it's weight in gold and wise. You have earnt yourself a new subscriber! :)
I'm glad you enjoyed! :) Thank you for sharing.
What a handsome and insightful man. 😊
Thank you
Beautiful Being. I feel like I'm healing just listening to you and feeling your essence. Ty 💚
I haven't tried to change my boyfriend, but he has some serious issues that hold him back. I've never told him he needs to change or that he's bad. When he comes to me with problems, especially at work or with his family, I offer advice like suggesting he stay calm or try a different approach. I never criticize him or threaten to leave if he doesn't change. He has told me I've helped him a lot, but I've noticed he struggles to maintain any positive changes under pressure.
We recently had a fight because he lost his temper, and I asked to be excused from the call. He later apologized, but it made me realize that people only change if it benefits them. Our upbringing and experiences shape our personalities. Despite being a sensitive person who cares for others and has faced many hardships, I still help people when I can, though not financially as I used to because of my current situation. Now, I focus on myself and let others be. If someone's behavior bothers me or complicates my life, I part ways and prioritize my own well-being.
Damn this hit me very hard. I wish I had just let my partner be himself. That way I could’ve kept him in my life.
But without the relationship I wasn’t worth keeping to him. This has all been really tough and even my disappointment from him not reaching out all seems evil. I should be ok with his decisions. Especially now, since I couldn’t learn my lesson sooner. Such pain this is. Abandonment has always been real tough on me.
Sorry to hear
Life is all about learning lessons. Although it hurts a lot for you now, this may of been what you needed to become an even better person. We can start to make the world a better place through these lessons.
I wanted to help. That's the problem. I need to stop it.
I totally get this.
You have the brightest star inside you
Great video 💯💯 definitely must allow people to be themselves & the only person we can change is ourselves 💯🤞🏾
:) I'm glad you enjoyed the video
Truth. I'm over here constantly trying to make improvements in my life and yet a friend who i've known since highschool is refusing to develop at all. Me and my other friends are trying to keep him involved and spring him up abit but no budge. We know exactly where he's going (nowhere) and what will happen to him in the future, but he's still content. So, I'm finally just leaving him alone. Goodbye brother, maybe we'll see each other again somewhere down the road.
Thank u this correlates w what I’m trying to teach myself. Let others be ! Can’t change them so either let them know ur boundaries or just leave em alone!
You got it!
Thank you so much for this
Dear strangers, please pray for my recovery and strength as I battle through some tough health challenges.
hello, i believe you will live your life healthy and happy again, you are in my prayers and i wish you to live your life authentically, speedy recovery!
You are very wise, thank you for this video! It reaffirms so many of my experiences with my last relationship and with where my head is at now that I am no longer with that person (after 14 years). Life is beautiful, don't let anyone dim your light because they are NOT awake themselves. Also, I've noticed pouring into MYSELF and filling my cup has been the most rewarding and beautiful experience I could ever ask for. SUBSCRIBED! 💚🙏🏼
Thanks for the support :)
This may be correct for people who aren't close to you 🤔 but man I wish someone close to me had stepped up to snap me out of the world/reality I was in when I was really unhappy and unwell physically and mentally 😕 even though they could not fix it themselves
This doesn't mean people shouldn't offer support to others.
I’m the guy who is “in their own world” and it’s very hard to change. I’ve been told I’m a very unique person and I get very confused with myself sometimes, and that can send me down a spiral. Though I’ve realized don’t want to change, but after so many disappointments and a breakup, I tried to change in the worst way possible. I tried to change who I was fundamentally and it made me so depressed. I’m someone who does need more time to actually achieve things. I got so confused with my identity and with the help of people around me, I was able to come back. Things are hard, but take your time. Opportunities will come and go. Don’t be disappointed or frustrated when you aren’t “on the grindset”, it just means you haven’t found your flow yet, or in my case there’s some rediscovering I needed to do to enjoy my passion again. Changing sucks, stay in school, don’t give up. Persevere.
I think the thing is to Inspire change, but not to force it. Though clash between two people who want to be friends or lovers might be willing to twist and evolve together in order to live together. Which is important.
Great video, I really love the stuff you said around the 10 minute mark. I remember when I first started thinking about my own personal growth, and as I began to value deeper things or stuff that directly appealed to me, I physically felt the change in communicating with my friends at the time, as we could no longer connect on things. Letting go is so valuable! But like you said, it's really hard. I'm experiencing that with my parents, it's hard to let go from the comfort and safety of people I know and love, but I need to pursue what fulfills me and that might mean actually going someplace else or no longer being able to connect with them the same way. Life is pain, but it is also a lot of growth and self-discovery 😃
Thank you for sharing
I have to be honest I do this sometimes with family and friends. I don't do it to feel better or superior. I truly want to help people but yeah it's better to not say or do anything. Let them be as they are. You are the one that needs to change & grow and if that rubs off on them it's ok. It was not something that was forced on them.
If they want the help and are receptive then it's okay. Just don't force it upon people. It won't be a good idea for the long-term.
@@lucas_segeren thanks.
@@lucas_segeren thanks
While this advice and video brings me a lot of relief, I can't say my life hasn't been influenced or changed for the better by people whose interests lie in selflessness and not selfishness. I would be a 'worse off' or even just a 'worse' person having not received the guidance and furthermore the criticism from those who cared. The act or 'role' of changing or influencing a person is left to the parent or guiding-figure, but as more and more strangers and even close friends fall into confusion or despair around me, I feel more inclined- not less- to speak up and nudge them in what I perceive as the right direction, if or if not selfishly.
sooo good to hear and take it in as something i already know deep inside. very well spoken and worth to share, because we far too often think we are in charge of saving other and the world not recognizing how changing oneself is difficult enough and sometimes immense process. thank you.
Glad you found it valuable.
My whole life, my parents wanted to change who I was. But they didn't even know who I was. They didn't even know who they were back then. They just wanted me to fit the idea of what a child should be in their mind.... So I understand a lot what it feels like... Even when it comes from good intentions for the person, it's still going to feel practically the same.
Thanks for sharing.
it's actually so crazy bc i'm going through the same thing. i've realized that a lot of parents don't see their children as human beings - just as mere characters in their story that should be a certain way. and if we don't fit in that box it feels like they love us less. at least that's what it feels like for me. they never wanted to get to know the true me either, they have no idea who i truly am. they don't know my true personality and what i truly like. i feel like i have to be this different character around them all the time and it's so exhausting.
I love your background, this is true because if you love a person you won't wanna change that person.
I love this side of youtube, thank you
❤
Preach!🕊
You aren't being a hypocrite with these videos,
You are offering an option of opinion, perspective.
The choice is all up to and on the viewer/listener to do anything about it.
Just like offering a helping hand to someone you perceive could use it. Its up to the other person to reach back and accept.
Sometimes thats all that is needed, other times it does nothing
Thanks for sharing 😀
What a gem of a talk! Thank you for the light you bring to world 🙏
Glad you found value in it :)
hi lucas im new here in ur channel, the way u spoke ab "accepting people for who they are" is one thing that makes me realize things. you're super cool, thankyou for this video i appreciate every words you said!
Glad you enjoyed :)
Thank You for this. I really needed this..
This is refreshing, thank you for sharing your love with us.
Glad you enjoyed :)
this makes me feel so much better
:)
You remind me of A. G. Cook. That's amazing
Finally a genuine video of someone talking about this! It can be hard living in a world where people NON stop complain about everything (I know I'm not perfect either), but it can be so daunting!
I honestly really needed to hear this, so thank you
Lucas - I completely resonate with your view described here. Thank you. ❤❤❤
Much love in your journey of ascension and growth.
Thanks for the love
Thank you so much for this video, lately I've had started arguments with people whom I want them to change for the 'better' in my own judgment. I thought I was doing them a favour but instead I was actually doing something for myself.
Yeah it can be quite painful for everyone involved too ❤
This is so true bro, idgaf about fame, but Ive felt this with people a lot and why i put out my Sigma Male vid. Many people play these social games to fit their mold. Its so awkward. You on point with this!
Well brought and spoken, to travel the world is a good way to gain a conscious understanding of what is unfolding in both our inner and outer world...❤
:) Thanks for sharing
@@lucas_segeren Well, you are genuine, therefore you bring understanding, therefore people resonate with you, therefore you change the way people look at things or situations, therefore you change people without pressure, so yeah, I support what you brought out in this video! 😊 Will look at your other videos soon, hopefully I don’t get disappointed, lol, just kidding, ❤
Thank you for this I really needed to hear this❤
The problem lies in that you can have this mindset and allow people to be who they are, but regardless and more often times than not, they are not mutually operating under this mindset and are still free to impinge their will upon you in hopes of getting what they want. No interaction is without friction.
You can become more sensitive/aware to when people do impose themselves upon you. If someone were to integrate what I said in this video + consciousness work they'd be 10x more aware of that than the average person and would be more aligned with people who are more caring and able to let go of their agenda when needed.
great video my man, really needed to hear this today!
Happy you enjoyed it :)
That first sentence was enough to give you a like 👍🏾
:)
God bless, im with it to an extent. Some people need a reality check. Dont bring people into your mess.
Thanks
I also like to talk on my lawn. The only difference is that my grass is overgrown. :) All jokes aside, I like your message.
i’ve spent the past 2 years at a job that doesn’t nurture me waiting for things to get better. i need hands on learning and im not getting it. yet im told i need to grow. i think that its time for me to leave the nest but not in the way my boss anticipated. i cant grow from nothing. and i cant grow under someone who is stressed and does not have the time for themselves let alone teaching employees. 2 people at my job are set to leave at some point and i know of a third who is thinking about leaving. other people seem to not mind putting themselves first even after knowing others for so long and i actively see that yet its hard for me. and it will hurt to say good bye.
I’m constantly butting heads with my family. I work so hard on myself but they are stagnant. I hold on bc I love them but it was like what you said if you have to continuously try to change them it’s NOT going to work. It’s so hard allowing ppl stay the same when you know how much they could improve themselves. I am a control freak. I’m aware of that. I am working on it!
Incredible video Lucas, very complete, it exposes so much what Im going through. Many of my friends ended with he herd, doing drugs and party, something Im not into. I have to accept and let go, but it definitely feels lonely
Appreciate you and your words ❤⭐️
Sir, grateful to have found you. Such wisdom 🙏♥️
Glad you enjoy :)
Good stuff 🙌🙌🙌
Thanks for listening
This resonates with me
I'm happy you enjoyed :)
@@lucas_segeren this message came at the right time thank you so much
This journey is one of my own, as your’s is on your own. 🙏
I’m Working on projects and in my age when i see someone who doesn’t think about his future yet and has no responsibility i push them to become better and learn and try new things even work on projects because if they don’t learn or didn’t do anything they probably don’t exist or just dead people that’s why I make people feel they have to do something because they already will aware of this some day and then it’s will be too late
I gave up on trying to help people a while ago. A lot of people have no
'Journey', they're perfectly content with being a nuisance their entire lives and blaming everyone & everything but themselves. The only thing I ask of these people is they stay the hell away from me, yet they can't even do that right.
This world is going to burn and there is no changing that so I'm just trying to focus on myself & letting go of my attachments.
Powerful and honest video. Thank you!
Thank you :)
this video satiated my brain, thank u very much for your food for thought
:)
Thank you Lucas
Glad you appreciate it.
A lot of people move in autopilot, I see them costing from reaction to reaction. I learned to live and let others live when I saw how much, at the time people who looked like me not make it past a certain age.
This was random in my feed but im glad i watched
You sound like a very empathetic person I like this guy.
Thank you
Thank you. I loved this.
he's right, let them sink in
:)