John Mulaney Answers Questions From r/TooAfraidToAsk
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
- John Mulaney answers some funny questions from Reddit's Too Afraid To Ask and then asks a question he's been previously too embarrassed to ask.
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"on the twitter" john mulaney actually a 100 year old man confirmed
I noticed that. 😅 Ahh I just love this guy.
100 year old blind dog :(
Yo, Nice Paprika drinking a smoothie
He also doesn't understand why we go 80mph on the Highway. Possibly old woman, maybe my grandmother, confirmed.
Yo, Nice Paprika but he’s actually just a 30 something year old man trying his best
I like how he takes a sip between rach question every single time
John Fucking Mulaney is majestic
Wait, your dad does that too? My dad died in 2015 , and Mom is just now running out of the toiletries he had in the drawer.
Why does he take a sip after every response? XD Did I miss something?
John is my favorite immortal 3/4 gay tiny Asian American woman
I love how he took sips inbetween each answer so they would know where to cut it and they just left it like that lmao
Honestly it makes some answers funnier as he follows it with a casual sip, like the one about samurai and knights XD
If they planned to cut that bit out, why would he even need a “sip code”? Why not just say “next question”?
Cjmaret When the editor is scrubbing through the video clip to see where to cut it, they will see a visual cue(sipping the mug). It makes the editing process more efficient than watching the video to see where one question ends.
It wasn't so they knew where to cut, it's so they knew where to superimpose the reddit screencaps before he began reading the next one.
And it makes it clear the cup is empty too
john didnt need to research the answers for these he just knows everything from experience. he's been alive longer than we believe
he only didn't know net neutrality because he is too old to understand the internet
John Mulaney is like the real world equivalent of Shaggey. Or like Shaggy's demigod son.
he's actually edward cullen
You think he's a tall child? Wrong. He's an eight thousand year-old immortal dragon ... who looks like a tall child.
He was born in the 20s
I thought the questions were going to be like...about him?
I want to know if he really assassinated Princess Diana
@Psy Duck all the news stories from the time would coorroborate this well
You can feel the tv.. it’s still warm....
If you actually want to see him talk about this, he did a q&a on tumblr like a year and a half ago and it came up, haha. They’re on his page, his user is just “mulaney”
I love your doggo picture
"The crew"
Idk why but my favorite answer was "the crew" and then he just goes to the next question. that killed me
courtney he went so fast i didn’t even notice he answered the question
It’s as if he knows from personal experience
It was funny because he didn't give an explanation why.
Without skipping a beat, too.
They also eat the leftovers from John's stand up performances
I'm so proud of this asian american woman
Who? All I see is this tall child
@@ninasimpson6639 I see a tall asian american child with no eyes and a bowl cut.
what are y'all sayin'? all I see is a high waisted man with feminine hips
@@maniceliksni2705 *NOOOOO! THAT'S THE THING HE'S SENSITIVE ABOUT!*
The tiger mom
I legit would watch this as an ongoing series. Just John Mulaney sipping coffee and answering random twitter questions.
Citron reddit questions. But yeah, I would too.
Tbh, yeah, I would watch just about anything with John Mulaney just talking to a camera.
It's reddit, you can tell because they have that annoying r/
not coffee: perfume
I still think it was straight vodka
John is a T H I R S T Y B O Y
I'm thirsty for John
Philosopher of Nada ME
@@MrsKythea No!!!
Relatable
philosopher of bs good lord, why are you like this 😂
"I got pulled over for going too slow" 😂
lil cookie My dad is 67. The only ticket he's ever gotten was in southern California because he was going the speed limit lol
It's illegal to speed. And it's illegal to go too slow to impede the flow of traffic. So if everyone is speeding, you have no choice but to break the law.
But what if everyone is unspeeding?
@John Cruz you should never tailgate. It wasn't your speed. It was your tailgating. Pass if you can but if you can't you should still back off.
My grandpa did that and I think I laughed my ass off for at least 10 minutes straight.
"I'm not gonna generalize about what the Japanese like..."
The Late Late Show with James Corden bj pls x
hee hee funee
He shouldn't generalize what the Japanese like anymore than he should General Tso what the Chinese like.
dude you would not believe how many chinese/korean/japanese shows about not spefically samurai but dudes fighting with swords
what was in that cup
The centaur can consent so, you are golden.
I forgot that i had commented on this video and almost posted this again, word for f-ing word. So the ceiling for my long term memory is 4 months.
@Sofia Garcia Excuse me you're NOT?
Sofia Garcia I think anyone who wants to do the frick frack with a demi-human finds the human parts of them hot
@Sofia Garcia honestly I'm not sure. I like centaur girls in hentai. which is probably worse then a girl liking a centaur man atleast I can understand the big cock turn on for girls. But for a guy there shouldn't be any reason but for some reason it gets me in 6th gear.
kenaz, I don't think it's a matter of consent, it's a matter of if sex with the horse half is bestiality/zoophilia
"I'm not lumping myself in with you"
"I'm not like other girls" at it's finest
What if the Centaur is loose in the hospital?
I understood that reference. That being said, most centaurs are a hazard in a hospital except for Chiron and Narnian centaurs.
then would it be okay to fuck?
That's exactly what I thought you'd say, you dumb centaur?
I wish we had a centaur loose in the hospital.
What happens to centaurs kids, fouls can run the day they are born but babies can't even hold there head up. Do they just flop around and die?
There was definately straight vodka in that cup
Or perfume
*definitely
well do u want him to stay sharp or what 😂
He's a treated alcoholic so I doubt that
No he’s been sober for years
"Net neutrality is if you want Netflix to be fast" LOL
Crospin FX lol... that's the exact opposite of net neutrality
and we all want that
Crospin well he’s not wrong...
The argument is that if net neutrality doesn't exist, ISP's could slow down Netflix if you don't take a special pack or speed up a competitors website eho paid the ISP money.
@@budtastic1224 you're saying the exact opposite thing
“I don’t even know the range of appreciation nationally for samurai”
If I remember right my grandparents also have a whole bag full of hotel toiletries. Apparently they (hotels) throw them out after they're used once, so if you don't take them then they're just wasted.
mdudegamer they get thrown away or recycled for programs like clean the world that help people in need of hygiene products, yes
My grandpa just takes all of the shampoos and soaps and lotions but I can never find any conditioners and it is frustrating
@@Soupslutt You tend to have to ask for conditioner these says.
I like the idea that there's only three minutes of footage because that's all that was salvageable from this, or alternatively he could only be there for literally three minutes. both are good
Just take a pause, John!
Elizabeth Friend i was looking for this
@@bones337 - dang it, you beat me to it.
Hey, *did* you say you were going...going to *Italy*, because we have, *she* has a travel agent.
to answer John's question: It's easier to pull over one person going 55 than it is to pull over 50 people going 80
Why dont they just raise the speed limit then
I think it’s safe to say that ticket would have been thrown out almost immediately had he contested it.
LOL nailed it
Maybe he was pulled over for driving like a 100 year old blind dog
@@jadeyu7197 everyone would drive even faster
Considering that Japan's short list of events they wanted to possibly add to the Olympics in 2020 included jousting I'd say yes Japan likes knights about the same amount we like samurai. (I'm still gutted they didn't pick jousting)
What came to mind was cowboys. I feel like every Japanese grandpa knows of at least One famous cowboy. I know too many Japanese dads that have only seen back to the future 3 for the cowboys.
@@oscarvazquez3869 man, I'm American and I dont even know a famous cowboy! scratch that I do, Billy the Kid.
@@GlytcheD same here. The thing about cowboys is that you may not be able to name them off the top of your head if you were asked but youd recognize names like billy the kid, butch Cassidy, and buffalo bill. Think that probably because their prevalence in film
@@randomcommentator5922 doc holiday as well
lol Olympics in 2020 I wish
HIS TIE IS OFF CENTER
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
Miah Satterley he did that on purpose probably
I came to the comments just to see if anyone else noticed! I spent the whole video feeling very uncomfortable and wanting to fix it!
(Also, I like your picture with Baymax)
That's something he's sensitive about!!!!
WHY DID YOU TELL US THAT
Net neutrality is when internet service providers (ISPs) give all content providers (websites) equal access and equal service. Everybody has access to whatever their heart desires without filtering.
I have nothing at all but a gang of trolls
Y'know, seeing that John is a comedian, I'm guessing that it was a joke
No that's not it.
I believe it has something to do with Netflix getting faster
Don't forget about charging for faster access, that's a big part of it. You can still access everything in the model the ISPs want it's just super slow unless you pay for their premium subscription or your one of their proprietary properties. (Edit: this prevents business not owned by the ISP from effective competing because they can throtal down their competitors services and favor their own. This is already happening in countries without net neutrality laws)
Laura Roda
I like to read, so yeah...I guess.
Ooh I know the answer to the service dog prison question!
Yes.
I had a lady at my church who trained dogs for blind and deaf women in prison. She would always yell at the kids for petting the dog, and eventually she stopped coming to church.
She never seemed to like anyone, but you gotta be tough to train those dogs and meet prison ladies, so I don’t blame her.
S Productions this comment was a rollercoaster and I thank you
Tbh it is really weird that kids try and pet service dogs at all, why aren't their parents intervening? It's a very big no go in my country because it can ruin a perfectly good dog which is very expensive.
there is something so very beautiful about this story.
@@marcellisnamsome people just don’t care, I’ve seen a parent standing next to their child while they kicked a ball into a window, braking it, and the parent would just not say anything
The answer to the Samurai/Knights question is yes. The Japanese generally seem to think that European style Knights were really cool and tell lots of stories featuring them.
MrGreenthumb1000 and Vikings! The Vinland Saga is dope. And the Japanese were ruthless conquerors as well at one point.
John: I’m gunna answer all of your questions
Jon to every single question: I don’t know
John is such a cute man I can't.
YES!
something in my brain is innately comforted by John Mulaney telling me answers whether they are helpful or not.
How is the cup not empty already?
Re Wind the trick is, there was never anything in there in the first place 🧐😜
@@annlyp6303 or maybe there was an he finished all of what was in the cup and was just pretending
John Mulaney version of slurp??
Greetings, fellow kickthepj fan!
Ayyy, my people
KickthePJ!!
How old is he and why does he talk and act like an old man
Because he's an immortal being
Conner Bearden he is a 10 year old tall child with no eyes
He's a tall Asian American woman child with feminine hips
john mulaney is as old as time tbh
I think the better question is, who was John Mulaney in his past life?
Gandalf the Grey: *being old and wise and all-knowing*
John Mulaney: *sipping his coffee* Sit down G
John Mulaney: Answers questions.
Also John Mulaney: “Ya know, I never really knew.”
watch an immortal man answer questions “off the twitter”
only a virgo would get pulled over for obeying traffic laws
as a virgo i both agree and am slightly offended and have also only been pulled over ONCE for obeying the speed limit, thank you very much
You’re right 💀
He has such strong virgo energy
As a Virgo, I only go 5 over. Haven't been pulled over for it. Yet.
I love this. I love that I am not the only one looking up John Mulaneys natal chart
That tall child is really chugging down that coffee, have a nap, tall child! You look more tired than usual!
He can't keep burning the candle at both ends.
Look a 50's guy time travelled to 2019 to answer silly millennial questions
My man Mulaney from Chicago, getting pulled over for going 55 in a 55. Relatable. Especially if Petunia was in the car. I don't play around when my Reese is in the car
John's argument on the centaur is actually with solid legal basis 🤣
“We need net neutrality”
“Yeahhhh we gotta get that”
John mulaney should have his own late night show
you are amazing and beautiful .
Thank you.
"and who is we? I'm not lumping myself in with you!"
-John Mulaney
Getting pulled over for obeying the law.... sounds familiar
Oh, no! My celebrity crush is a terrible driver!
Did you not know this?
"I hear you honking. And I also don't wanna be doing what I'm doing."
people expect him to be a 100 year old blind dog on the phone drinking a smoothie while driving but it's really just a 35 year old healthy man *_trying his best_*
i watched that before i started driving and now that ive started to learn i relate to it so much. sorry people. you probably hate me but im trying my best
For...not speeding?
Fun drinking game: take a shot every time he sips his water
That's not water
He looks like a Kennedy
To answer your viewer's question, John:
Net neutrality was the federal regulation requiring that service providers must give equal connection and download speed to all websites regardless of who they are. When that was eliminated it became possible for connection speed to be varied depending on who paid more, allowing service providers to slow to a crawl the speed of smaller content creators or companies who can't pay as much, like your local fire department, while speeding up larger companies like Amazon and Netflix. In essence this widens the gap between larger and smaller services, greatly disadvantaging the smaller ones on the one platform that was supposed to allow them to be equal and let people decide who gets listened to.
And I'm not a conspiracy theorist or a big agitator, but I gotta say this deregulation was accomplished with some of the most shady bullshit I have ever seen a light shone on in public.
You like comedy, so I'll point you toward the two episodes of Last Week Tonight on Net Neutrality. It's the most hilarious way I know of being terrified for the future of our country. Enjoy!
1:25 John is approved for not being a weeb, good job John.
What really annoys me is when you're going the speed limit and then a freaking police officer is riding your butt two inches away, pushing you to go faster. I'm talking just a regular cop car, not one with their sirens on obviously. That annoys me so much. It's like they're bullying you into breaking the law.
The cup is so clearly empty and I died on the inside every time he “took a sip”
I did a research paper on Net Neutrality and it was so frustrating because the terminology that goes along with it as well as the name itself is very confusing. There are many pros and cons to it and it's hard to say if the Net Neutrality bill will be passed again.
Needless to say, I never want anything to do with Net Neutrality ever again when it comes to a school assignment.
On the test for my license they asked that question he had the end about if everyone’s going 80 but the speed limit is 55 how fast should you go. I said 55 because that’s the speed limit and they said that’s right! So whoever the cop was that pulled over John Mulaney, you’re a LAWBREAKER
I’m pretty sure there’s a lot of Knight anime actually
Finally someone who knows just about the same about net neutrality as me!
He’s so confident that I almost want to believe all his answers
"Who's we, by the way? I'm not lumping myself in with YOU."
“Impending traffic” then change the damn speed limit XD
Speed limits exist to make traffic safer (except when cops use them to generate revenue). If you’re going 20 mph slower then traffic (especially if you’re in the left lane on a highway), even though you’re observing the speed limit, you’re creating a hazard. It’s the spirit of the law, not the letter.
that's nice, but it doesn't answer the question why is everyone going 80 mph. if everyone went let's say 60 mph according to the speed limit, the flow of the traffic would be the same and no one would be breaking the law
Tereza Tomaskova Exactly! As someone who consistently drives at the posted speed, or even a little bit faster, it drives me up a wall when people pass me like I'm standing still!
@@tereza3698 Exactly, plus I'm not sure if "I was following the spirit of the law" would hold up in traffic court.
@@krudmonger yes. Presumably the speed limit is there for a reason. So by going faster aren't they creating a hazard anyway?
It's the no-win situation that drives me absolutely bonkers. If a cop feels like writing you a ticket for matching the 80 mph flow of traffic, they absolutely can.
Ok I have two questions about UA-cam that I’m kind of afraid to ask for fear of causing a war in the replies, but I’m really curious so I’ll ask anyways. I also don’t know where else to ask it, so I suppose here works, hopefully.
My first question is why don’t people dislike other people’s comments on UA-cam? I’ve seen some really horrible comments, but they just have angry replies, not dislikes. Like this one person actually said that they killed their first cat that they got and only kept the second one because it acted more like a dog (which is messed up for so many reasons and if you want to know why, you can ask and I’ll reply in the comments). Is this just a UA-cam thing, because I don’t have much other social media, but as far as I can tell, it seems to be only on UA-cam. Or is this an unspoken rule that everyone agreed not to talk about, and I just breached that (if so, I’m sorry and I’ll bake everyone virtual brownies or something to make up for it). I know that angry replies are more justified, but disliking is basically just disagreeing with someone (at least to me). So someone please explain to me why this is a thing.
Second question is more recent, but lately when I look at the newer comments (for multiple videos), I’ll see people commenting really weird descriptive sentences that don’t make much sense when you read them and are not related to the video at all. Does anyone else see this, or is it just me and my device got hacked? Or is this some other bigger thing?
I just realized how long this comment got, so sorry about that.
The TL;DR: Why do people not dislike other people’s comments on UA-cam? And why are there newer comments with really weird descriptive sentences that aren’t related to the video at all on multiple videos?
If you think this comment is stupid, no need to say anything; just move on please. And please don’t start a war in the replies and respectfully disagree with each other instead (if this even gets any replies). The Internet could use a lot more respectful disagreement.
Bestiality isnt illegal in Utah. So in Utah you could do it with a centaur
Do the Japanese like knights as much as we like samurai?
I'm gonna go with yes as King Arthur makes an alarming amount of appearances in anime
Hotels will throw away un taken toiletries because they cant confirm you didnt do anything to them. take them.
also, i think the issue with beastiality is consent, an animal cant consent because it cant communicate to humans. but a centaur can speak to people and communicate consent. so it would be legal.
glad this is permanently on my internet record
Thank you, Mr. Mulaney, for asking the real important question here: When did "limit" and "required/minimum" become synonomous on the road? Do these people also fast at all-you-can-eat buffets?!
What net neutrality? "Its what makes Netflix faster"😂 I love ittt
I Don’t Really Get Net Neutrality Either
Jasey Rae?
“Don’t make this easy, I want you to mean it!”
I'M GLAD I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED LMAO
He’s not actually drinking anything from that cup!
driving 80 in a 65 is called driving new jersey
This large child seems like he knows everything
The real question is: Who eats the leftovers from BAKING SHOWS?
1:10
My favorite tall asian american woman child :)
Looks like they shot this somewhere in The Good Place
Hold the coffee cup by the HANDLE, JOHN
Whatever is in that mug must be darn delicious
At one point in his career, he must've had his life saved by a tailor. He wears that guy's bespoke suits since then.
as a new driver, i second john mulaney’s question 😭😭
I'm pretty sure the samurai craze equivalent in Japan is Cowboys lol
Sex with centaurs would be legal. The reason bestiality is a crime is because animals cannot give consent due to the inability to say yes in any human language.
Just a recap below:
If you don't speak their language, they cannot give consent.
If they are intoxicated (buzzed, drunk, high, tripping, drugged, etc.), they cannot give consent.
If they are asleep, they cannot give consent.
If they are under 18 years of age, they cannot give consent.
If they are in a professional setting, they cannot give consent.
If you are in a position of authority over them, they cannot give consent.
If they don't say "yes," even if they aren't saying "no," you do not have their consent.
If they do not or cannot give consent, and you have sex anyway, that is rape, and that is a crime.
MAPS can rot in jail and go to hell.
This has been a PSA!
Questions: answered
Jokes about John being an Asian American Woman: infinite
Hotel: Trivago
I’m sure someone has already put it here but in case anyone is wondering; net neutrality is the policy that no isp (internet service provide) like Cisco, google fiber, Comcast etc (whoever is connecting you to the web) favors one no one business’s services over another’s. For example UA-cam doesn’t have priority streaming wise over amazon prime or say your personal blog site from the guys providing you internet.
Literally with John Mulaney suggested is the complete opposite of this.
Net neutrality it’s a really important issue everyone should be aware of. The absence of it allows for network monopolies to occur.
I’ll watch anything with John Mulaney
Wouldn’t it go without saying that centaur sex is okay? Beastiality is immoral because animals aren’t sentient and can’t consent to anything, but a centaur CAN consent. Sure it’s probably gross, just anatomy-wise, but if the centaur says yes, shouldn’t that absolve anyone from crime?
“I really don’t know how jail works” *sips coffee*..... that seemed suspicious
Does that mean that the speed limit is just a formality?
yes - unless the local police need revenue for their 4th of July picnic - then it's strictly enforced.
So *confirmed* the proud Asian-American woman is _not_ a proud _Japanese_-American woman. Well my question has been answered! I guess I *won’t* be seeing him star in any new and upcoming anime.
I'm not going to lie: reddit missed a golden opportunity to name it r/UTooAfraidToAsk.
To answer the last question on why people were driving 80mp: “Because we got shit to do.”
I clicked on this video thinking i was about to watch a video about john krasinsky.. i mean i’m not disappointed
he looks like he's about to sell me the world's first non-stick frying pan in the year 1954
I was told years ago that the hotels expect you to take the mini toiletries, partly because it would be gross for them to give any partially-used toiletries to the next visitor. Who would want to use the same shampoo as some random stranger?
I'm pretty sure centaur sex is legal in Kentucky. They let you marry your cousin there I'm sure they don't care.
the only reason john doesn’t know what jail is like is because he tricked the court into thinking he actually didn’t kill the princess
the answer to the samurai thing is about the same, yeah. They have a general interest in our medieval fantasy stuff, the same way some of us are into anime that takes place in X era of japanese history but is total fantasy besides the setting.
If you don't drive 80mph they'll saw your car in half.