Paul Manafort Auditions For A Pardon

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  • Опубліковано 10 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,4 тис.

  • @leHungry
    @leHungry 6 років тому +184

    Stephen’s monologues are getting better and better! By far the best of all late night.

    • @kimjonglongdong3481
      @kimjonglongdong3481 6 років тому

      He sucks

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 6 років тому +4

      I crown him king!

    • @sandrapatterson2916
      @sandrapatterson2916 6 років тому +5

      leHungry
      I agree ... Colbert is the best. He's got great timing and delivery.
      Plus, the writers have PLENTY of material to work with due to this corrupt administration.

  • @crovax1375
    @crovax1375 6 років тому +136

    How long does a house have to be on fire before something can be done about it?

    • @ValerieJNorse
      @ValerieJNorse 6 років тому +19

      If half of the house is controlled by cult members saying, "The house is not on fire, our revered leader says so, and anyone who says otherwise is blasphemous" -- well, it's gonna take a while before something's done about the fire.

    • @pamelacass9642
      @pamelacass9642 6 років тому +6

      You mean, after the fire has spread and the insurance denies your claim? Dunno. 🤔🤔

    • @spir5102
      @spir5102 6 років тому +7

      Crovax13 exactly how I feel! After all the suffering we've done watching all this, they better make the punishment fit the crimes.

    • @chrisw.6060
      @chrisw.6060 6 років тому

      Sooner or later, the house collapses into ash, producing total damage loss.

    • @johnnyc4738
      @johnnyc4738 6 років тому +3

      At some point, you let it go & rebuild. 😔

  • @ColoringKaria
    @ColoringKaria 6 років тому +811

    I’m glad he’s finally back from vacation.

    • @mlr4524
      @mlr4524 6 років тому +12

      Can only watch so much of the cartoon version...

    • @Jason918114
      @Jason918114 6 років тому +8

      Batteries are charged now.

    • @sdgdhpmbp
      @sdgdhpmbp 6 років тому +8

      Wasn't he gone for like 2 days? Air time wise, anyway.
      I appreciate them busting their asses day in day out like this, but they're entertainers, not sanity checkers. Do the latter yourself.

    • @pecas5805
      @pecas5805 6 років тому +2

      ColoringKaria 👏🏼👏🏼😻. Me too

    • @technoraver99
      @technoraver99 6 років тому

      video gaming = waste of time. housework is much better (karma)
      bored? anyone??
      you can find on amazon: teaching books (paramedic), emergency cases, bags, all kind of equipment. time 2 learn first aid measures + emergency medical services EMS
      good work 4 kids: youth firefighter program. junior firefighter training activities. junior program ems !
      giveaways? sponsoring + support? (4 friends, employees, customers etc.) first aid or medic courses, medical literature, + psychological first aid, equipment? (one way keyring resuscitation masks, pocket masks, AED, nitrile gloves (hygienics, diseases, protection! take a pair of gloves with you. you can buy packaged pairs of nitrile gloves. non sterile. for single use only), ambu bags?, CPR simulators ?? stifnecks?, diagnostic lamps, pulse oximeters, stab protection vest, cs gas defense spray, bulletproof vest, seatbelt cutter etc.)
      smoke detectors? carbon monoxide detectors? fire blanket, structural fire prevention? fire protection coating? (on building walls?) or anti corrosion? (on bridges, tools etc?) fire suppression systems? + installation? instructions?
      emergency escape and smoke ventilation? smoke extraction staircase?
      infrared sight 4 lifeguards, firefighters or first responders?
      4 amazing tools: portable hydraulic strongarm 4 firefighters etc, hands free thermal vision (in mask imaging system), in mask heat vision (temperature display etc) or c-thru technology!
      there are more amazing tools!
      fire extinguishers 4 everyone? every home? (+ child safety device!) + fireproof clothing? + cap, gloves, safety glasses etc
      (note: there are different types of fire extinguishers and application fields! powder, foam, water etc)
      become a paramedic instructor in future? firefighter? + pump operator (+ driver) ? (volunteer?) high angle rescuer? ambulance driver or nurse?
      give it a try! externship? externships?
      or
      surgery nurse? geriatric nurse? ambulatory care? home care?
      (+ specializations? in several areas? wound care management, hygienics, instructor, first aid etc)
      midwife? or dental assistant ?
      shuttle service? (disabled people, seniors, wheelchair user)
      towing service or animal protection ?
      at least
      support animal welfare organizations? sponsorships??
      (animal aid unlimited org, hsi org, sea shepherd org)
      animal shelters in your area need money 4 food, maintenance work, expansion, staff, new vehicles, security staff, etc.
      trips? beach trips? parks? poor dogs :(
      (create new jobs? build new sanctuaries? new parks? zoological gardens?)
      maybe... plant a tree? many trees? a walnut tree?? in a park, garden or backyard? crows and other birds would appreciate that.
      or a japanese maple tree?
      or go vegan ?
      potato, zucchini, paprika, cucumber, tomato, rice, fries, ketchup, baked bread etc?
      hey its animal friendly :)
      vegan cookbooks? give it a try! its tasty
      support a protectory? orphanage ? (money 4 disneyland trips or playstation 4?
      charity work? palatoschisis or cataract aid organization support? (smiletrain org or operation restore hope e.v.?)
      or kids cancer care? educate a child?
      parking problems? smart parking solution com
      think about the environment. in your city. seriously
      more railways? less cars? more bicycles?
      or buy solar panels? learn from the solar experts?
      stop abortions? change laws? strict restrictions?
      increasing homelessness and pollution = serious problems.
      time 4 serious solutions!
      time 2 build new quarters? apartments? + assisted living ? (board and care homes)
      + medical examinations, checkups etc (+ dentist) ? care + support + coaching + social integration + employment etc? + small group wellness programs or trips?
      NEW projects? (new jobs?) new hotel projects?? (with doctors, carers, nurses, security staff etc, seminar rooms, briefing rooms, a big pool? (+ diving schools?), + sport areas? spa?) + new motels?
      serious + fast help? thousands need fast help!
      yes, giving money 2 very poor people will make their lives better.
      more proper facilities? + sanitation? more humanity? not less.
      more facilities + better facilities + more employees + upskilling employees etc ?!
      (in hospitals, retirement homes, homes for the disabled, homeless etc)
      better treatment + more comfort 4 residents, patients etc??
      better retirement homes? (better medical equipment? + AEDs, one way keyring r. masks, lifters, CPR simulators, pulse oximeters, seminars, training courses, training!, + regular checks!, trips, furniture, therapeutic massage armchairs, automat? drinks?, more wheelchairs (+ replacement) (+ silk or polyester pillows? more comfort? cushioning? (+ shoes? cushioning gel?) padding? less decubitus !), rollator, protector pads? (elbows, hips! etc? = less fractures, pain ! etc), medical alert systems? (+ wearable medical alert buttons?), therapeutics + dental therapeutics? (+ better oral, dental care? less oral thrush !, less periodontitis ! etc), better food?, paintings + art, coast or beach atmosphere? gardens? botanical gardens? allergy? (plastic plants?), better alert systems (+ internal communication via phones? phones 4 all employees?), animals? pets or birds? allergy? bonsai maple trees? etc
      less isolation? (growing loneliness!) more community oriented activities? + small group trips? (gardens, theatre, museum, dance ball, coasts or beaches? ports?
      sometimes? more often?)
      higher wages 4 staff? ..much higher :)
      (home care patients? they are lonely 2.. most of them!)
      time 4 changes. time 4 more happyness. everybody wants 2 be happy!
      donate clothing?
      support 4 daycare centers? (money 4 new furniture, medic courses, + training, equipment? (+ child and baby CPR simulators? etc)
      indoor playground or waterpark employees? upskilling? + many more first aid kits (+ better signposts), training, equipment, AEDs etc.
      easy jobs?
      clean-up operations?
      bushes, parks, streets, lakes?, harbors?, seas?, coasts?, oceans?
      clean up some plastic, broken glass or other trash?
      trash = serious danger 4 animals. (pain in the stomach, injuries, die offs etc ):
      its time 4 serious cleaning up operations!
      (you can use hand nets, nitrile gloves. self protection!)
      or use a boat? recycling bins?
      (maybe... leave a slice of toast bread? in the shrubs? or on a grass area? for birds. they love it :)
      (or walnuts? small pieces. on cold days. winter, autumn etc)
      work at night?
      (or new school projects? monthly?) volunteers?
      or maybe visit a diving school? become a diver? 4 mother nature ...
      (the plastic trash that floats in the world's oceans actually decompose and release potentially toxic substances into the water)
      ,,,
      lets save marine life :) lets remove some plastic and trash.
      many turtles are in trouble struggling with plastic :(
      + better recycling systems all around the world? (+ africa, india, etc?)
      + sanitation? new wells and fresh water ? (there are aid agencies)
      create new ones? or new jobs?
      we need jobs. NO replacement of workers or employees!
      we dont need robots etc. stop robot technology + developement. all kinds of it

  • @j.criquette3334
    @j.criquette3334 6 років тому +28

    Cutting through the BS inch by inch, line by line. Thank God for Stephen Colbert.

  • @sterlincharles8357
    @sterlincharles8357 6 років тому +16

    "He's got a bucket list of not ending up in many buckets" 😂😂😂

  • @rachelel9087
    @rachelel9087 6 років тому +220

    Dear god....those emails... *all the face palms in the world*

    • @sluttymctits4496
      @sluttymctits4496 6 років тому +24

      I literally rubbed my face in disbelief at the sheer audacity/idiocy of those emails. People can't really be this stupid, right? Wrong. So very, very wrong. 😳

    • @debbiehenri7170
      @debbiehenri7170 6 років тому +14

      This is just incredible stuff.

    • @broski365
      @broski365 6 років тому +6

      Everyone erased all evidence of all their evil interactions but some people were too stupid to get the memo

    • @cooldrop02
      @cooldrop02 6 років тому +10

      Oh I'm loving this. They have absolutely NO idea how ruthless the Feds are and really think they can outsmart them. It's so insulting it's funny.

    • @malahammer
      @malahammer 6 років тому +4

      Rachel........all the world face palms!

  • @Hollins23
    @Hollins23 6 років тому +14

    I hope that all of the shady business comes to light! The people have a right to know.

  • @santiagosada
    @santiagosada 6 років тому +130

    Lifelong dream of continuing to live
    😂

    • @AP-fe9hm
      @AP-fe9hm 6 років тому

      Santiago Sada 🤣😂

    • @alanai1981
      @alanai1981 6 років тому

      Santiago Sada COLBERT IS THE TRUUUUUTH!

    • @SurgeonVault
      @SurgeonVault 6 років тому +1

      "one tiny hand washes another" 😈

    • @jaguarrose7022
      @jaguarrose7022 6 років тому

      He's got this bucket list of not ending up in a series of buckets! LOL

  • @heatherbleu5370
    @heatherbleu5370 6 років тому +121

    Welcome back everyone! I hope you all had a lovely holiday weekend💙

    • @jessm.porthos
      @jessm.porthos 6 років тому +2

      Bleu Gunkel I hear yea

    • @bigcat47
      @bigcat47 6 років тому +1

      😸yeah the holiday can be tough when they run together like that

    • @Udontkno7
      @Udontkno7 6 років тому +1

      You too :)

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 6 років тому +2

      I did, thank you very much. I had good food and danced my head off. I hope your holiday was as sweet as your comment. Have a lovely day!

    • @joyl3926
      @joyl3926 6 років тому +1

      @@couragekarnga8735 👍👍

  • @Praetor_Fenix420
    @Praetor_Fenix420 6 років тому +155

    "Word is friend in embassy plans 2 more dumps" is he talking about Assange sitting in Ecuadorian Consulate or Trump sitting on the toilet tweeting?

    • @momszycat4148
      @momszycat4148 6 років тому +7

      Lol! I fully expected a "dumps" joke there somewhere!😄

    • @maskedmarvyl4774
      @maskedmarvyl4774 6 років тому +6

      Is there a difference? They're just as repulsive....

    • @EchoSappho
      @EchoSappho 6 років тому +6

      He is talking about Assange on the toilet. That's why the embassy asked for Assange to clean his own bathroom from now on as part of the new terms of his stay

    • @oigomieggo24
      @oigomieggo24 6 років тому +3

      Is this like how boofing is farting?

  • @dannmarceau
    @dannmarceau 6 років тому +37

    "Open casket". Lmao.

    • @iluvcamaros1912
      @iluvcamaros1912 6 років тому +3

      Dann Marceau Colbert is one shady queen sometimes... and I love it

  • @noluthando6757
    @noluthando6757 6 років тому +2

    How can one person be this gifted? Stephen can sing too? Love you Colbert

  • @buddyblair8878
    @buddyblair8878 6 років тому +262

    All I want for Christmas is a new President,and the current Goofball in JAIL!

    • @RealityIsTheNow
      @RealityIsTheNow 6 років тому +10

      Don't be hasty...if trump goes...now you get Pence. Who is every bit as much of a scumbag...but actually intelligent.

    • @tleam88
      @tleam88 6 років тому +11

      @@RealityIsTheNow Unless Pence is also implicated. I'd be over the moon if Pence and all the way down to Paul Ryan get caught in this mess. I'd love to see if so many get implicated to the point of requiring an emergency election.

    • @anafigueroa5154
      @anafigueroa5154 6 років тому

      Buddy Blair ......😅😂😅😂

    • @SteezySteve760
      @SteezySteve760 6 років тому +3

      Communist detected

    • @da5idnz
      @da5idnz 6 років тому

      If Trump goes, so does the great economy.,...

  • @dogperson4436
    @dogperson4436 6 років тому +1

    All the love for you guys! You all did this bit so well! ❤

  • @280zturbo
    @280zturbo 6 років тому +70

    Roger Stone will be getting an indictment in his stocking this year! Ho! Ho! Ho!

    • @kimjonglongdong3481
      @kimjonglongdong3481 6 років тому

      Trump 2020

    • @trailersandteasers3421
      @trailersandteasers3421 6 років тому

      @@kimjonglongdong3481 that morons not getting elcted he probably will be in a jail cell before 2020

    • @blackbutterfly9193
      @blackbutterfly9193 6 років тому

      who are the two cult followers that can't see the forest for the trees ?

  • @geroffmilan3328
    @geroffmilan3328 6 років тому +1

    This was up there, guys - amongst the best writing so far, & the delivery matched it.
    Let's get ready for Impeachment-thon!

  • @gunpuntuhong4531
    @gunpuntuhong4531 6 років тому +5

    Good to have you back stephen!!

  • @anngillespie8007
    @anngillespie8007 6 років тому +700

    The story continues, I wounder is trump going to jail in 2019?

    • @heatherbleu5370
      @heatherbleu5370 6 років тому +93

      Most likely not, but there certainly nothing wrong with daydreaming about it a bit😉
      Bottom line this man and his family will be forever a sore spot of contention in the history of the United States.

    • @nickelpickel3924
      @nickelpickel3924 6 років тому +33

      @@streetcarp475 oh yes he is Russia sympathizer.

    • @screamingphoenix8113
      @screamingphoenix8113 6 років тому +71

      Probably not. In America justice has been long dead. We like to pretend that nobody is above the law, but plenty of people are above the law. If you think otherwise, Google Catholic Church child sex abuse.

    • @pietrojenkins6901
      @pietrojenkins6901 6 років тому +19

      One month left and we can get rid of Trump?

    • @erikk77
      @erikk77 6 років тому

      @@pietrojenkins6901 ???

  • @kufitop
    @kufitop 6 років тому +26

    Looks the the break served you well; you're on fire tonight! Glad to have you back. Enjoyed the special shows while you were off. Cheers!

  • @JC-ev2ns
    @JC-ev2ns 6 років тому +450

    I can’t wait for the Trump Administration Movie comes out when I’m a grandparent and my grandkids are like wait what? Did this actually happen grandpa? And I’ll be like “unfortunately yes, also how are you even here? How am I here? The world has definitely ended by now, right?”
    Also that will probably be like the 5th or 6th movie made about this by that point in time lmao

    • @kaoko111
      @kaoko111 6 років тому +23

      You know. I'm actually looking for a movie of this. But i don't know if is going to be an Scorsese crime drama, an Oliver Stone political commentary movie, a black humor movie by the Cohen brothers, an animated satire by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, a slapstick film by David Sucker... Or even a porno

    • @oltedders
      @oltedders 6 років тому +23

      It will be a box office flop because the stupidity of the characters so unbelievable and the storyline so ridiculous and complicated.

    • @CMontgomeryBurns09
      @CMontgomeryBurns09 6 років тому +7

      A movie will be out in less than 10 years.

    • @supergluehotty
      @supergluehotty 6 років тому +24

      Did that really happen grandpa?
      No... It was much worse.

    • @rs-mt6kl
      @rs-mt6kl 6 років тому +12

      yo my nephew is 6 and i watch him all the time. and every morning i watch the news and just lose my shit. I'll tell him "oh my god, jayden, when you're older youre gonna remember me flipping out about this stuff. and you'll look back and finally understand just how insane this is."

  • @jessm.porthos
    @jessm.porthos 6 років тому +10

    Im so happy your back 💜

  • @flyte707
    @flyte707 6 років тому +118

    lmaoo leave it to Giuliani to implicate trump

    • @magnatcleo2043
      @magnatcleo2043 6 років тому +9

      That's most of what he does, even if he was hired to do the exact opposite.

    • @menghao737
      @menghao737 6 років тому +8

      @@magnatcleo2043 He had no choice. Trump probably told him to do it. They wanted to get out ahead of it, because it was coming out anyways. Mueller is going to get to make his case against Trump in court. It's all about to come out.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 6 років тому +3

      I'm so glad Trump hired him! He's doing Mueller's work for him!

    • @helenpatterson3858
      @helenpatterson3858 6 років тому +3

      Is he the court jester ?
      They say the Jester's job was to make jokes out of the truth, and was never punished for it. So twisted to see; sometimes it seems he really is working for Mueller.

  • @chuehlor
    @chuehlor 6 років тому +17

    "Man demonstrating the correct way to eat a baby." Darn it! I knew I was doing it wrong!

  • @PotatoeChipz
    @PotatoeChipz 6 років тому +56

    Welcome bach. Now never leave us again!

  • @mmartinezPhysics
    @mmartinezPhysics 6 років тому +92

    Manafort was 45's backdoor to WikiLeaks... allegedly... ;-)
    Now his backdoor's 'bout to be in a whole lotta trouble... allegedly... ;-)

    • @phillipmbise23
      @phillipmbise23 6 років тому +1

      That was pure gold...

    • @ezelfrancisco1349
      @ezelfrancisco1349 6 років тому +2

      @@phillipmbise23 ...allegedly

    • @brotlowskyrgseg1018
      @brotlowskyrgseg1018 6 років тому +2

      Anyone else rember that story about Jared Kushner receiving an email with the actual subject line: "Russian backdoor overture and dinner invite"?
      This is starting to get a whole new meaning...

    • @mmartinezPhysics
      @mmartinezPhysics 6 років тому +1

      @@phillipmbise23 .. shower... allegedly...

    • @mckenziehedrick6448
      @mckenziehedrick6448 6 років тому

      😂😂😂😂

  • @heyheytaytay
    @heyheytaytay 6 років тому +21

    WE WISH YOU A MUELLER CHRISTMAS.

  • @jaybomb8371
    @jaybomb8371 6 років тому +81

    That photo of young Rudy???? He looks like the nazi at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.... hahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahaha

    • @edwardadastra1526
      @edwardadastra1526 6 років тому

      jay bomb ...thumbs way up for laughing maniacally your own joke (not sarcasm)

    • @justsaying3729
      @justsaying3729 6 років тому

      Give poor Rudy a break, his wife (soon to be ex) is already giving him Hell..........NOT!!! LOL

    • @JKD6991
      @JKD6991 6 років тому

      Awesome comment!

  • @faceoff3315
    @faceoff3315 6 років тому +8

    Make America great again Impeach Donald J Trump and Mike Pence

    • @Aqua.man045
      @Aqua.man045 6 років тому

      George Lewis Nope divid the country in half so one side can be democrat and one republican. Easiest thing to do

  • @tinacarter9050
    @tinacarter9050 6 років тому +9

    This truly is stupid watergate...🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

  • @sitha4441
    @sitha4441 6 років тому +548

    doesn't Jerome Corsi look like Alex Jones if he had traveled back-in-time to present day to help Trump?

    • @SmugSuspenders
      @SmugSuspenders 6 років тому +7

      LOL xP

    • @Freiheit1232
      @Freiheit1232 6 років тому +15

      Alex Jones - The Neutered Edition

    • @retnavybrat
      @retnavybrat 6 років тому +7

      I guess Roger Stone likes all his friends to look similar.

    • @1MarkKeller
      @1MarkKeller 6 років тому +8

      Alex should have kept up his Super Vita-Beta-Male regiment ... look how old he got

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 6 років тому +5

      Mark Keller - looks more like old Jonesy got one of those mega cheap face peels in Thailand. 😵

  • @togawe
    @togawe 6 років тому +16

    I can't wait for this to all be over so we can look back in the future at the neatly wrapped up craziness without having to live through the repercussions at the same time

    • @tleam88
      @tleam88 6 років тому +2

      Problem is the same as with Bush Jr. and Reagan. We're still living through the repercussions of those two. We'll be dealing with the repercussions of Trump for decades.

    • @ValerieJNorse
      @ValerieJNorse 6 років тому +1

      @@tleam88 -- Exactly. The repercussions of traumatized children taken from their parents alone will take decades to work through.

    • @thumbprint7150
      @thumbprint7150 6 років тому +2

      Valerie - and how many of those stolen children will never see their parents again? And how many children in Yemen will continue to die of starvation?

  • @couragekarnga8735
    @couragekarnga8735 6 років тому

    Oh, hello, Stephen! It's absolutely lovely to see you again, sir!

  • @annoyed707
    @annoyed707 6 років тому +16

    Meanwhile, while we're distracted by this, the Gingrich will steal Christmas.

  • @menotme6523
    @menotme6523 6 років тому

    Oh how I missed you Stephen!!! Please don't EVER go again... you are the "me time" on my hectic days...😊

  • @BigDaddysBearCave
    @BigDaddysBearCave 6 років тому +28

    You rock!!

  • @joaquingarcia6606
    @joaquingarcia6606 6 років тому

    I´m from Ecuador... You rock Stephen!!!

  • @ammeleisea7851
    @ammeleisea7851 6 років тому +5

    Phew..I couldn’t survive another day without another monologue

  • @DeeDee97916
    @DeeDee97916 6 років тому

    Thank god for Stephen Colbert in these crazy times! Always makes me laugh 'til my stomach hurts. 😂😅😆🙌🏻

  • @lillysweet8016
    @lillysweet8016 6 років тому +21

    We are in crisis

  • @dartcreekfarmllc9313
    @dartcreekfarmllc9313 6 років тому

    I’m crying!!!!

  • @rochester212
    @rochester212 6 років тому +13

    I love CSI: White House. My favorite show.

  • @Rye-Ann
    @Rye-Ann 6 років тому +1

    "It's beginning to look a lot like prison."

  • @gz9975
    @gz9975 6 років тому +10

    If you could just stop going on vacation every few weeks, that'd be great. Thanks, I love you.

    • @peterjp4
      @peterjp4 6 років тому

      Gee, for a second there I thought you were talking about Trump. But he takes vacations far more frequently, so I breathed a sigh of relief. You're loving the right man after all.

  • @2sharad
    @2sharad 6 років тому

    Stephen Colbert continues to produce magic.

  • @rajselvaraj4173
    @rajselvaraj4173 6 років тому +2

    As soon as I saw the Manafort Headlines, I got pumped for this video!

  • @GoldSag1
    @GoldSag1 6 років тому +1

    That one guy in the audience is having the time of his life. That laugh is hilarious! 😂

  • @bbc2live927
    @bbc2live927 6 років тому +34

    This guy I the best on TV 📺.......

  • @angryexgop6184
    @angryexgop6184 6 років тому +1

    If I ever meet Colbert, I'm hugging him.

  • @RoninAquila
    @RoninAquila 6 років тому +13

    We missed you, Mr Colbert! (Though your Animated form did a pretty neat job too! 🙂🐱)

    • @evatripp4520
      @evatripp4520 6 років тому

      RoninAquila, and I enjoyed the flipped interviews by Jon Stewart & Neil Tyson Degrasse & the others too!!!

  • @Amanderrr420
    @Amanderrr420 6 років тому

    Stephen was on fire in this!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • @MacTac141
    @MacTac141 6 років тому +10

    God I hate Trump! Can he just be impeached already?

    • @hangmanstree1898
      @hangmanstree1898 6 років тому

      No he can't. But in the annals of history he will not be fondly remembered by the rest of the civilized world. And that's a pretty rough punishment.

    • @b.t.1632
      @b.t.1632 6 років тому

      @@hangmanstree1898 Rough punishment? You clearly do not understand Donald Trump. No publicity is bad publicity for a man like him. It's all show business. You people still don't understand what we are dealing with. It's not about a presidency, it's about TV.

    • @hangmanstree1898
      @hangmanstree1898 6 років тому +1

      @@b.t.1632 we people? I can appreciate that it is about show business. I am an entertainer. I get he and his "administration " always have a "hook" lined up. But the world used to look up to the USA and rightfully so, a proud nation of innovators and mighty warriors. Your soldiers still kick some ass but the innovation has died down and the respect from allied nations is dead. And that is not show business.

  • @keepdancingmaria
    @keepdancingmaria 6 років тому +1

    Well, Thank God this isn't confusing at all...

  • @danoduncan1763
    @danoduncan1763 6 років тому +30

    like drumpf knows the word "clemency"... xD

    • @Trottelheimer
      @Trottelheimer 6 років тому

      And if he leant it, he'd constantly be jamming it into his run on sentence ramblings for a few days to show off hi "eloquence"...

    • @hsk2909
      @hsk2909 6 років тому

      Of course he does..it's the cousin orange fruit to orange.... ;)

  • @sa4769
    @sa4769 6 років тому

    At the end, the truth always win

  • @kenna163
    @kenna163 6 років тому +5

    Assange reminds me of an old Draco Malfoy.

  • @blkcatzette
    @blkcatzette 6 років тому

    Thanks for the laughs!

  • @djacob7
    @djacob7 6 років тому +6

    The pardon deal was already made, guaranteed.

  • @m.c.5795
    @m.c.5795 6 років тому

    So many hilarious puns tonight; love it! 👏👏😂

  • @dannybolman7739
    @dannybolman7739 6 років тому +3

    I wonder. Is a pardon still good if the pardoner is proven to be a traitor, a liar and a con-man later?

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 6 років тому +1

    Nice to have the work week start, and end on Thursday.

  • @tourettehunter4542
    @tourettehunter4542 6 років тому +53

    I was arguing with Trump supporters today and they don’t care if he colluded they actually said they hoped he did. Then they went on to say, “It’s no big deal just like Oprah. You get pardon, You get a pardon, you get a pardon.”

    • @stevenhinkle6957
      @stevenhinkle6957 6 років тому +27

      Right before the 2016 election, I knew Trump supporters who also said they hope Russia colludes with Trump to influence our election. It's very hard for me to imagine anything more blatantly un-American than that. Incredibly sad..

    • @YellowBrownTrees
      @YellowBrownTrees 6 років тому +25

      @@stevenhinkle6957 "un-American" is putting it lightly. It's blatantly "Anti-American"

    • @priscillajimenez27
      @priscillajimenez27 6 років тому +1

      🤦‍♀️

    • @LividImp
      @LividImp 6 років тому +13

      That's because all they care about is Team Red "winning" against Team Blue...even if that winning consists of the destruction of the entire planet. They truly are insane. I really hate to say this, but we honestly just need a civil war to wipe out the bulk of them. Even once Trump is gone and things have stabilized, his voters will still be there...waiting to usher in the next bat-shit, tin-pot dictator. This problem isn't going away with Trump.

    • @anafigueroa5154
      @anafigueroa5154 6 років тому +6

      Livid Imp
      I can’t not believe I wake up every day to hear that retarded is still in the White House.
      And people actually voted for an unfit narcissist, mentally disturbed..... the list is sooo long..... Mueller Please hurry....😇

  • @Freesingskills19
    @Freesingskills19 6 років тому

    batiste is a musical genious with an encyclopedic mind...his spontanious musical asides are always spot on and amusing!

  • @myMelody4life
    @myMelody4life 6 років тому +3

    But...But...But what about Hillary's emails??!
    *I say, sarcastically :)

  • @khoanguyen-yf3lc
    @khoanguyen-yf3lc 6 років тому +1

    Welcome back Stephen, lots of thing stirring up

  • @paulramos4037
    @paulramos4037 6 років тому +27

    Pray to the heavens, wishing for a full-blown interview of Stephen Colbert on Stephen Colbert.

  • @Andrews2490
    @Andrews2490 6 років тому

    About time!!!!

  • @henrydawkins3128
    @henrydawkins3128 6 років тому +18

    Manafort flipped on his flipping.

    • @towersofgiza
      @towersofgiza 6 років тому +1

      I believe it's called a flop

    • @mimim7026
      @mimim7026 6 років тому +2

      He's a flip-flop-flapper.

  • @windyhillbomber
    @windyhillbomber 6 років тому +1

    Ok....I am now officially struggling to keep up with the twists in this plot.

  • @CJusticeHappen21
    @CJusticeHappen21 6 років тому +3

    Help us, Robert Mueller; you're our only hope.

    • @ValerieJNorse
      @ValerieJNorse 6 років тому +1

      This comment should have a LOT more thumbs-ups!

  • @thearmchairjournalist566
    @thearmchairjournalist566 6 років тому

    Thank goodness you’re back Stephen, I couldn’t handle the withdrawal 😩

  • @mlr4524
    @mlr4524 6 років тому +5

    Oh My Darlin' Clemency lol....

  • @CheetosReignsAgain
    @CheetosReignsAgain 6 років тому

    *"Covfefe Navida"* 😆
    Great monologue as always! 😂👍

  • @Piecemaker1975
    @Piecemaker1975 6 років тому +101

    Wikileaks is another word for Russian secret service.

    • @heatherbleu5370
      @heatherbleu5370 6 років тому +5

      #TRUTH

    • @vikrantsubakade9281
      @vikrantsubakade9281 6 років тому +2

      Lol

    • @organicfrugalgardening8794
      @organicfrugalgardening8794 6 років тому +6

      Piecemaker1975 it’s called journalism, not McCarthyism

    • @niceguy2171
      @niceguy2171 6 років тому +5

      Seriously, even the founder of it admitted he lost control of it to the Russians yrs. ago, so it is at least under their control.

    • @brotlowskyrgseg1018
      @brotlowskyrgseg1018 6 років тому +3

      @@organicfrugalgardening8794 Wikileaks actually had a huge chunk of documents from inside the Russian interior ministry leaked to them and refused to publish any of it. However they did "leak" the complete "Fire and Fury" book after it's publication in a feeble atempt to keep the sales down. Journalism my ass.

  • @gabu8065
    @gabu8065 6 років тому

    Yes Ecuador 🇪🇨 makes the news

  • @kramnosenhoj
    @kramnosenhoj 6 років тому +8

    "That dog don't hunt."

    • @onedivbypi2241
      @onedivbypi2241 6 років тому

      Mark Johnson
      How does he smell ?

    • @onedivbypi2241
      @onedivbypi2241 6 років тому

      Terrible
      Ah, hahahahahahah….
      erk...
      ... thud!!!

  • @misslanapford9169
    @misslanapford9169 6 років тому +1

    Good morning Stephen Colbert it's lovely to have you back properly, stop going of for holidays.. We need your humour to get us throw the week. P.S.. Way to start back. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🙄🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

  • @mixmasterv86
    @mixmasterv86 6 років тому +21

    I remember a day when I supported assange bc he leaked all the abuses the US armed forced committed that went unanswered. What happened to him? I guess the money got to him? Maybe it's time to put some pressure on Ecuador again to get them to push him out of their embassy? I notice the double standard bc I didn't want him to be extradited in the beginning bc what he was doing was for the greater good for humanity. Seems like what he is doing now is for the greater good of his bank account.

    • @GreenDragon11
      @GreenDragon11 6 років тому +2

      mixmasterv86 Same here! He evidently hated Hillary as much as Putin did/does. In an interview with Bill Majer during the election, he was absolutely gleeful about releasing the emails and Bill said to him:”
      I know you are enjoying this because you cannot stand Hillary “ or close to that. I think living in that embassy has had a profound affect on him, which makes sense but it never makes sense to turn on the 99% who was fighting for and then throw us all under the bus! Peace ☮️

    • @makesmefeellikeatalltree8250
      @makesmefeellikeatalltree8250 6 років тому +3

      maybe he's so sick of hiding out. What I never got is why Snowden went to Moscow.

    • @evatripp4520
      @evatripp4520 6 років тому +2

      Asante was ALWAYS WORKING for RUSSIA, YOU DON'T THINK PUTIN WANTED THAT STUFF RELEASED??? LOL!!!

    • @pamelacass9642
      @pamelacass9642 6 років тому

      Yeah. The kittykat is missing, did you hear? Get PETA on the phone! 🐺🐱

    • @thesprawl2361
      @thesprawl2361 6 років тому +1

      He's an anti-democratic, anti-liberal, narcissistic, rapey creep - his interest was never in greater transparency, his interest was only ever in building his own personality-cult and the power that came with it.
      And the reason he hated Hillary is because she was a human being who generally abided by the law. He can't deal with that kind of person. Someone like Trump is much more his style. It's also an open secret that Russia has been paying him for the last decade, and they have a political interest is in _anything_ that harms the stability of American democracy. Assange has always been ready and willing to oblige in that sense.

  • @FriendlyRambler
    @FriendlyRambler 6 років тому

    Stephen, where have you been???? We need you!

  • @mylxiong08
    @mylxiong08 6 років тому +31

    whoa, stevie! your shades are off the chart funny!

  • @snowflake3361
    @snowflake3361 6 років тому

    Colbert is the medicine that keeps me going when I feel trump news fatigue setting in. From paying attention to the news, I know he is correct when he ties it all together, yet the fatigue gets pushed aside with his antidote - served with huge doses of side splitting laughter! Thank you, Stephen, Jon, and the band. Powerful medicine for the trump weary!👍😊🤣

  • @linden5165
    @linden5165 6 років тому +3

    Corsi argues he figured out what would happen on his on. Whey then did he say "word is friend in embassy plans two more dumps". He would say "I think what will happen is...." such obvious lies

  • @markedinmakeup5335
    @markedinmakeup5335 6 років тому

    I love you Stephen!!! 😂💗

  • @DDWyss
    @DDWyss 6 років тому +6

    The president does dangle his pardon-ciples.

    • @gmkbelanger
      @gmkbelanger 6 років тому

      Daedalus Wyss. FTW!!! 👏

  • @Karlettastar
    @Karlettastar 6 років тому

    You saying the word "Flesh" was spot on!

  • @joshuascholar3220
    @joshuascholar3220 6 років тому +8

    How will the "Presidents and rich people NEVER go to jail" political class keep Trump out?

  • @ethanwagner
    @ethanwagner 6 років тому +1

    Stephen got his edge back after that break. Good shit bro

  • @Cerbyo
    @Cerbyo 6 років тому +3

    That's pretty pathetic. He pretty much has cast all his dignity aside and become the ultimate hypocrite. He once campaigned against corruption and cheating the system.....now he's begging for a pardon. sad

  • @bengeldinger
    @bengeldinger 6 років тому

    Oh snap, not holding punches tonight!!! I love it

  • @b.terenceharwick3222
    @b.terenceharwick3222 6 років тому +18

    "He has a lifelong dream of continuing to live..." Oh, surprise, surprise....then there's that other thing....

  • @veecee3669
    @veecee3669 6 років тому

    God I love Stephen Colbert...

  • @rainydaygirl57
    @rainydaygirl57 6 років тому +4

    "Conspiracy Theorist and Defrocked Oompa Loompa"

  • @justsaying3729
    @justsaying3729 6 років тому

    Loved this monologue...too funny ....You go Stephen, never disappoint.

  • @SuperKing604
    @SuperKing604 6 років тому +4

    Who screws up there own plea deal? Thats your get out of jail free or mostly free card

    • @ValerieJNorse
      @ValerieJNorse 6 років тому +1

      Two possible answers: (a) Someone who thinks he's so smart he can screw over both sides and get away with it. (b) Someone who is absolutely incapable of ever playing anything straight.

    • @ValerieJNorse
      @ValerieJNorse 6 років тому

      @first last -- Right on, but it was a couple of witnesses Manafort tried to tamper with, wasn't it? Or did he try to tamper with the jury TOO?

  • @gayatrichodankar
    @gayatrichodankar 6 років тому

    oompa loompa lolllll 🤣🤣🤣 best writing in last few episodes

  • @lizspeirs2990
    @lizspeirs2990 6 років тому +3

    Can't wait for the day Assange gets put in jail as well

  • @patriceturnipseed9226
    @patriceturnipseed9226 6 років тому +1

    Mr. Colbert, you're brilliant. "The palest man met with the shadiest man".

  • @brianrenner9338
    @brianrenner9338 6 років тому +5

    You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not run when Putin arrives. Putin is coming to town, Putin is coming to town, and there will also be... COLLUSION.

  • @electricmagnetic
    @electricmagnetic 6 років тому

    In the words of the ever so wise Monique Heart: What's done in the darkness will be brought to light and America, the lights are on.

  • @TheReal008Zulu
    @TheReal008Zulu 6 років тому +12

    Manafort: No, Stephen. This is how you audition for a Presidential Pardon (mimics fellatio on a banana).

    • @sanakris22
      @sanakris22 6 років тому +3

      🍄 nah lets go with the scaring mental image of a mushroom.

    • @TheReal008Zulu
      @TheReal008Zulu 6 років тому +2

      @@sanakris22 Just... don't imagine Manafort maintaining eye contact. It crosses the line in a way I never thought possible.

  • @ammeleisea7851
    @ammeleisea7851 6 років тому

    Spill the tea