My Boyfriend is Mad I Asked Him To Cut Ties With His FEMALE Best Friend +UPDATES | r/AITA Stories
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- Опубліковано 17 гру 2023
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It sounds like Thomas is more interested in Marie than he is OP (in terms of how happy he is to see her and how he agreed to visit her city right away while saying OP had other plans to exclude OP), not to mention Thomas and Marie had a three way TWICE before. Calling it a "platonic soulmate" thing is bad enough, but it wasn't even platonic.
I can see why OP is insecure, there are probably things OP can read in their body language and interactions that are difficult to convey. It doesn't sound like there's any space for OP unless she resigns herself to being the second option, so best to just pack her bags and leave if she has any self respect.
hey i posted the last update if you wanted to read it :/ idk if shes done posting about it but im pretty sure there will be another update.
@@SS_SUKUNAwhere'd you post it
@@Sin_Falimus apparently deleted
@@Sin_Falimus posted here
I’m married and I have and had many female best friends. My wife also has male best friends. Platonic besties of opposite genders is totally normal and healthy. However, if Tom is actively choosing to spend important holidays with Marie over OP, then that’s a red flag for potential cheating.
They were not platonic though
He doesn't love or respect op lmao . Either he is already emotionally cheating and about to get physical, or OP is not in her right mind . It's toxic either way and they should break up .
Oh my, a fool rush in toxic love, a sus friend and a boyfriend does not know there is a boundary line. I'm not comfortable with the guy or the girl who have a relationship but still too close with another "bestfriend", i mean they can close like friends, but when they cross the line (touching echother the sensitive ways, flirting, three,...) nope, that's a HUGE red flag.
I was kinda 50/50 until she mentioned that Thomas told Marie that OP had other plans for NY. It sounded like Marie did want to invite OP, too, but Thomas didn't want OP to go. Major red flags.
I do still think that OP is a bit of an asshole for assuming that Marie wanted to have a three-way with Thomas. It seems like she genuinely just wanted to spend time with an old friend
You say that when they did it before also apparently her husband is the same man that they did the three way with.
Honey, get rid of him. He has zero respect for you. If he’s spending holidays with another woman and not you he doesn’t care about your feelings. I don’t care if she’s married or not. There is no such thing as platonic soulmates. If he is so defensive about her he loves her. Get out while you can
Honestly, OP is devoting a lot of mental energy trying to stop a grown adult from doing what they want to do. If he REALLY wants to cheat, he will cheat. Restricting him from going to Marie’s won’t stop a cheater period. OP should have said I really want to spend New Years with you so can you stay or can I go with you?
I’m not in the business of forcing adults to do anything and she shouldn’t either. If OP doesn’t trust that her partner can honor their relationship then that is more of a trust issue with your partner than with Marie.
Side note: Just because this is OP’s best relationship so far doesn’t mean they are meant for each other. A good partner will take you feelings into account when making a decision.
Madam he's probably going to break up with you 😬
To be honest, i think your bf actually has a Crush on her and Marie too likes him back. Both are gonna cheat sooner or later. Either he loses contact with her or you break up with Thomas. If he doesn't care about how uncomfortable you are about Marie then he doesn't love you enough. Also how can you even be with Thomas after soo many many red flags. Even after doing a three he doesnt care enough to be acting appropriately. Thats just stupidity, why do you wanna be in a toxic relationship, love isnt that blind, get the red flag and stop being with him. He doesnt care for you enough, cause he's even consent with him being the other guy for Marie. Cmon get a spine dude
I…am not touching this one even with a 10 foot pole 😂
I was going soft YTA for OP, but after that edit with her man being Bi, and him and his friend being intimate before, yeah red flag. As someone who's bi, OP, he's gonna plow her again and her husband beloved 😭
Platonic friends with other women and men are fine.
However you still need to respect the relationship.
I have guy friends. But when we were planning to have a group trip ofc I told my bf a guy friend would be there and he was included. An ex bf told me about a female friend he was close to. 🤷♀️ idc. Told him idc more friends and she’d known him longer. It’s not my responsibility for my bf not to cheat it’s my responsibility not to cheat on him. If you’re the outside person the “friend” you also need to respect your friends relationship. If you can’t that’s on you and you will get your karma.
People that don’t know how to respect others are irrelevant. And a waste of time.
If bf doesn’t set a boundary then break up. Inviting one person that you have had a relationship of sorts with and NOT their s/o is sketchy and weird. Wouldn’t accept the invitation if it was a guy friend inviting me and my bf wasn’t allowed to go. If they offered and he said he didn’t need to that’s fine. It’s the lack of the invite that says this girl is a 🐍.
Considering how she just slips in the fact that his brother doesn't like her is a red flag.
No it's not, it had nothing to do with the current conversation.
I would’ve broken up with him. Ain’t no way you go to a trip I didn’t want you to go on to be with a friend I don’t like and then refuse to answer my calls when you KNOW the reason behind my suspicion. I’d have been like “have a nice life” and moved the hell on lol.
Oh honey, just break up
oh my god, this is ridiculous. first - you don’t invite only one person when said person is in serious relationship, especially when it’s a holiday
second - how can bf not see how it is weird to abandon previous plans with you gf and go spend a holiday with another girl?
he is either stupid or had feelings for marie before she left and then “gave op a chance” (that alone sounds awful) because she was the only option at the moment. and now that marie is back he thinks he has a chance with a “girl he actually liked”. disgusting.
I think ESH. OP is kind of a hypocrite for having a problem with Thomas and Marie being best friends, yet she was friends with Thomas for 7 years. It is weird that Marie didn’t invite OP and it’s also weird that Thomas told Marie that OP had other plans for NY but didn’t think to tell OP…yeah ESH
Thomas is inlove with Marie and op knows it deep down . Its sad when u love someone more than the person loves u and have someone else in his heart .
I really wish I knew the conclusion. I hope everything worked out in the end.
If u r that bothered that u have to ask ur bf to cut ties with another female cos he seems more interested in seeing her and spending new year with her than you then uve already lost the relationship and it seems like the time to get out..js…
Thomas is Inlove with Marie
Looks like she's her boyfriend's second option. That guy doesn't like her and she can't see it because she has been in love for years. Marie and Thomas are assholes and the OP doesn't have emotional control. I would leave him, it's just a boyfriend and he doesn't respect her.
I think it's kind of a grey area, but when i went on Reddit to read the comments under the updates, I remembered why I stopped using it
Does this has another update ??
Yeah basically they talk and he manipulates the story but OP falls for it and is mad the comments have common sense
Edit: Some are saying he is genuine and Marie is the manipulative one
Edit 2: Oh also OP is 100% blinded with her love
I would add OP's reddit user for those looking but idk if that counts as self promotion
There’s no such thing as opposite gender being best friends. She should break up with him because she will get hurt in the future
You should put a mic in his suitcase and then you can tell if he’s cheating
tbh thomas is allowed to have friends and he should be able to catch up with an old friend but he should atleast invite op to his newyear plans
This woman is so desperate and hung up over a man who is chasing a married woman who he has always prioritized over her. Very sad she needs to get some self-esteem.
Ehs
Okay so firstly, NTA. Everyone who is saying she is clearly hasn't listened to the full story. OP could have phrased it better, which she acknowledged, but otherwise she is right to feel how she does. Yes she is jealous, but how would you feel if someone who your boyfriend had a 3-some with (who married the 3-some partner) invited them to spend the night solo with them and their husband? That's exactly what's going on here. Marie married the 3-some partner and then just got back into contact with Thomas, and invited him to spend the night on NYE.
Also, even if they didn't have that history, it's still weird to spend the night over at a female friend's place when you're in a serious relationship without your partner (unless said female friend is gay). It's a boundary and people are allowed to have those boundaries.
Finally, before Thomas and OP got together, Marie and Thomas' relationship/friendship sounded way off in the sense of they were very unusually close for friends. It sounded like Thomas may have honestly like Marie at some point like that, and Marie believed they had a special relationship no one else could understand.
So I can understand why OP is uncomfortable with him spending the night at Marie's.
Click the little arrow on the video below the title to get the full story and just listen. Honestly, OP is NTA, but she should definitely communicate how she's feeling and why she's feeling this way. And admit to feeling jealous, trust me it doesn't make you a horrible person for admitting that, and it makes you more mature honestly because you're being open and aware of how you're feeling.
The best friend seems a little sus, but this girl is kinda crazy
ETA. Him accepting the invite immediately and saying you were busy had me thinking he wanted to get lucky. OP, however, snooped too low with nothing actually happening and actively pushing him away. Asking someone else to cut contact with someone is ludicrous. Saying how you feel uncomfortable to your boyfriend and seeing his reaction from that would have gone a long way.
Damn does she really not have self resoect
You know what? Sex used to be a decadent thing. People, especially women, would only do it when they were in love. These weird concepts about casual sex really eludes me. Everything is so accessible nowadays, it just takes so much away from the whole concept of sex.
You're like 20 years old, you don't know what it was like back then, casual sex has always been a thing. It's not some new invention
Stop reading romantic poery. Never in the history of humanity sex was gatekept for love. People were efing like rabits from the dawn of time
Casual sex was always there . Even women did that . People cheated even back then . Now , people aren't so hush hush about it .
Not even close to true. Many people married strangers, or someone they thought was halfway decent. Even spouses weren't in love. People were casual even when "getting caught" was the destruction of your life. Being in love was no insulation from that, either.
OP is sus. Crush for over 5 years? Strange fatal attraction
This is a dumb comment
Pick me girl is about to get dumped
Op sounds like a lunatic. She's grown and had a hardcore crush on someone for 5 years? That's not normal, that's obsession.
Even the way she lurked in the corner til the best friend moved is weird. Add the fact that the bf says she has issues with everyone he's close to is also weird. Op sounds like a fatal attraction in training.
yta no questions. they're friends for longer than ur relationship. you said that YOU made plans with YOUR friends ofc bro would rather spend time with his friend. if u dont trust ur bf, then break up. ur really controlling for what ur saying no ones gonna change my mind
Op knew him before he even met Maria
@@hobiseyebrows2240 they werent in a relationship though for as long as they were friends
YTA. She’s married, and not into him.