Emo Philips - Joke on Religion

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  • Опубліковано 15 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 103

  • @MultiYummycakes
    @MultiYummycakes 4 роки тому +459

    I just wrote a 10 page research paper on the great schism of 1054 for my college religion class but honestly this video sums it up better

    • @Laceykat66
      @Laceykat66 3 роки тому +6

      It reminds me of some of the political schisms we are seeing today.

    • @professional.commentator
      @professional.commentator 2 роки тому +9

      But he doesn't even mention that schism. He skips that part and goes straight into Martin Luther, 95 Theses, when he says Protestant or Catholic.

    • @moodyb2
      @moodyb2 Рік тому

      ​​@@Laceykat66ndeed, and it's the perfect riposte to those who claim Hitler's war on communist Russia is "proof" that the Nazis weren't socialists and don't belong on The Left rather than The Right. 👍

  • @alexanderforbes1452
    @alexanderforbes1452 5 років тому +489

    Missing the start where he says the guy he's talking to is standing on a bridge ready to jump (if I remember correctly) and he's talking to him to try and change his mind. The joke still works without it but I think it's funnier with it, it helps you visualize what's happening and lets you kind of get immersed in the joke so when he then pushes a guy to his death it's even more absurd and therefor more funny.

    • @troygardner1610
      @troygardner1610 5 років тому +1

      InsideInsider joke

    • @WTFUSERNAM44
      @WTFUSERNAM44 5 років тому +2

      ua-cam.com/video/l3fAcxcxoZ8/v-deo.html

    • @glotof
      @glotof 3 роки тому +7

      The whole bit has two and a half minutes of Emo horsing around before it gets to really funny part about religion. The rest isn't as good.

    • @pearlshifer1776
      @pearlshifer1776 3 роки тому +4

      you're right it makes more sense now

    • @PWBobillo
      @PWBobillo 2 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/video/l3fAcxcxoZ8/v-deo.html

  • @wendydabee
    @wendydabee 10 місяців тому +24

    Saw this guy live a year or so ago...
    He STILL has it!! Easily one of the funniest comedians I've ever seen. :)

    • @everythingismediocre
      @everythingismediocre 10 місяців тому

      Have you seen UHF? He's absolutely hysterical in it.

    • @wendydabee
      @wendydabee 10 місяців тому +1

      @@everythingismediocre I've loved that movie since I was a kid. I still watch it at least once a year.
      It's how I first learned about Emo. :)

    • @everythingismediocre
      @everythingismediocre 10 місяців тому +1

      @@wendydabee Nice. I haven't seen it in a while. Time for a re-watch!

  • @jimmyddddd
    @jimmyddddd Рік тому +49

    Just noticed how the crowd initially laughs when he asks "what franchise?" early in the joke. I think the audience thought that was going to be the punchline at first. To those complaining about the delivery, that "persona" was part of his schtick at the time.

    • @corq
      @corq 15 днів тому

      This is so uniquely Emo. You love the character's innocence, so the audience just follows along, and hangs in there. Emo tells you the story a bit like a breathless four year old, but the sense of childlike wonder taps into your *own* sense of wonder so you stay til the end.
      And Emo never fails to deliver!

  • @gabrieletrovato3939
    @gabrieletrovato3939 2 роки тому +210

    This is the full joke:
    Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
    He said, "Yes."
    I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
    He said, "A Christian."
    I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"
    He said, "Protestant."
    I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"
    He said, "Baptist."
    I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
    He said, "Northern Baptist."
    I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
    He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
    I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?"
    He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."
    I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"
    He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."
    I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

    • @christopherbellore3511
      @christopherbellore3511 Рік тому +8

      Thanks so much for typing this out. GREAT joke.
      I gotta memorize this one.
      On the serious side, Jesus forbid Sectarianism:
      Mark 9:38-40
      😉😊😁😇✝☝🙏✝🛐🕊

    • @e7193
      @e7193 Рік тому +18

      @@christopherbellore3511 on the serious side, religion isn’t real 😁😁😁

    • @christopherbellore3511
      @christopherbellore3511 Рік тому +10

      @@e7193 Jesus Christ is VERY REAL, and so is my RELATIONSHIP with Him.
      I'm sorry that you don't KNOW Him.
      It is the GREATEST thing that has ever happened to me. He SAVED me. ✝🛐🕊⚓🔨📖🗡💞✝

    • @e7193
      @e7193 Рік тому +1

      @@christopherbellore3511 get some bitches 🔥

    • @christopherbellore3511
      @christopherbellore3511 Рік тому

      @@e7193 I THOUGHT that you were a FOOL!
      Now I'm thoroughly convinced.
      You're an immature, spiritually DEAD, depraved reprobate; And a childish, foolish, rebellious antagonist.
      I'm sorry for you. Hiding behind the letter "e," and fearful of using your real name, clueless about what is really important in life, and nothing better to do than pester other people with your negative instigating remarks.
      Shoo fly, shoo.

  • @hayzeuscrust4517
    @hayzeuscrust4517 6 років тому +152

    Funniest joke about religion ever told.

    • @klaytaylor7011
      @klaytaylor7011 6 років тому +7

      And sadly, too true :)

    • @Dev-zd3rx
      @Dev-zd3rx 5 років тому

      @hatter00 hes actually a christian?

    • @lothartheterrible
      @lothartheterrible 5 років тому

      Also the most accurate.

    • @PaulTheSkeptic
      @PaulTheSkeptic 5 років тому +13

      Well it is funny but he tells that other joke about religion that I also find very funny. It goes something like "When I was a young child I prayed every day that God would give me that shiny new red bicycle that I wanted so badly. But then I got a little older and realized that God doesn't work like that. ... So I stole the bike and asked him to forgive me." It's funny but only because it's so true. In fact, it's bordering on being a little too true. That kind of truth might tend to make Christians feel a bit uncomfortable.

    • @Dev-zd3rx
      @Dev-zd3rx 5 років тому

      @Keith Panton 👍🏼

  • @genewitch
    @genewitch 7 місяців тому +4

    Thanks for clipping this, the original had 5 minutes of other stuff, and this sort of thing comes up in conversations a lot, and i like a concise reference to Emo doing this bit.

  • @mcspinixvids3875
    @mcspinixvids3875 Рік тому +1

    Joke Toons did a skit on this. Good to see the source material!

  • @eleanoraquitaine2966
    @eleanoraquitaine2966 Рік тому +5

    This is BRILLIANT!

  • @yaretifordis9043
    @yaretifordis9043 2 роки тому +30

    This joke doesn’t work as well when the rest of the 2 minutes is left out. Look up golden gate joke for the full thing.

  • @IndraBahiaMusic
    @IndraBahiaMusic 2 роки тому +13

    LOL!!! ❤‍🔥🤣This was recently featured on the Wisdom of the Sages podcast Episode 651: Just Enough Religion to Hate (Not Enough to Love)! So good! Thanks for the upload!

  • @benkrapf
    @benkrapf 6 років тому +34

    SPLITTER!

  • @LazyIRanch
    @LazyIRanch 4 роки тому +38

    I just pushed the 666th thumbs up, on a joke about christians. Oh well, I was going to hell anyway.

    • @jojothejanitor2134
      @jojothejanitor2134 3 роки тому +3

      Worshipping a dictator God is for cowards anyway.

    • @wrohan6413
      @wrohan6413 3 роки тому +2

      Same

    • @moodyb2
      @moodyb2 Рік тому +1

      It's actually a joke about religion.

  • @EveryFairyDies
    @EveryFairyDies 2 роки тому +6

    It’s even funnier with the closed captions turned on!

  • @carrickrichards2457
    @carrickrichards2457 Рік тому

    Genius!

  • @gudkush420
    @gudkush420 6 місяців тому +2

    Why he movin like that?

  • @mmmmm1113
    @mmmmm1113 7 місяців тому

    Well done.

  • @SuperShaka71
    @SuperShaka71 Рік тому +4

    Emo was one of the funniest comics ever.

    • @MuToiDMaN
      @MuToiDMaN Рік тому +8

      It gets better! He's not even dead!

  • @constantdoodle32
    @constantdoodle32 4 роки тому +2

    Gary habermas brought me here lmao

  • @ianjwilson8096
    @ianjwilson8096 6 років тому +27

    Strange guy; great joke.

    • @GeetarAdam
      @GeetarAdam 5 років тому +3

      Didn't you mean "great joke, strange guy?"

    • @robertcrittenden3202
      @robertcrittenden3202 2 роки тому

      @@GeetarAdam Commutative property: If A=B, then B=A.

    • @GeetarAdam
      @GeetarAdam 2 роки тому

      @@robertcrittenden3202 Yes, I'm familiar with basic logic. The point I was making...and you've taken the bait, is that two people can be saying the same thing and still fight about the way it's said. This is both pertinent and antagonistic to the thrust of Emo's joke.

    • @Fummy007
      @Fummy007 Рік тому

      Hes playing a character

  • @faerefolke
    @faerefolke 7 років тому +6

    I died.😂

    • @troygardner1610
      @troygardner1610 5 років тому +1

      *rimshot*ski ( Rimsky-Korsakov)

    • @piercechristensen8608
      @piercechristensen8608 4 роки тому

      ...and behold I am alive forevermore.

    • @Arlondev
      @Arlondev 3 роки тому +1

      And then, presumably, went to the afterlife of the one true God:
      The God of the Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879

  • @dashcammer4322
    @dashcammer4322 3 роки тому +16

    Hard core political types are similar to this when any of their kamaraden deviate in the smallest way from their party dogma.

  • @brianeisenstein6144
    @brianeisenstein6144 6 місяців тому

    Brilliant joke and yet not his best joke about religion. “Is this seat saved?”

  • @beverlyfletcher8701
    @beverlyfletcher8701 6 місяців тому

    That is funny

  • @dudekidhairwhite
    @dudekidhairwhite Місяць тому

    YCSP

  • @jimmyguitar2933
    @jimmyguitar2933 3 роки тому +1

    If you turn on closed captions it's even funnier because it's so bad!

  • @bobbytylenol
    @bobbytylenol Рік тому +1

    this is perhaps the scariest thing that has ever been

  • @troygardner1610
    @troygardner1610 5 років тому +4

    A modern adaptation of this is dating in the 70.. to maybe 90's music genre e.g. u2 , depeche mode, Aerosmith ..(any band with long history )
    E.g. I love old u2 war, rattle n hum, Joshua tree
    They love mostly vertigo/ sweetest thing.. total no go

    • @kuhj278
      @kuhj278 Рік тому

      The fuck are you talking about?

  • @EuropeanQoheleth
    @EuropeanQoheleth 8 місяців тому

    It's not a joke on religion. It's a joke on Protestant denominations splitting hairs.

    • @westonparker5940
      @westonparker5940 5 місяців тому +3

      Splitting hairs...over differences in religious doctrine.

    • @pepesilvia3827
      @pepesilvia3827 18 днів тому

      trying to split hairs yourself eh

  • @nickyg4788
    @nickyg4788 4 роки тому +12

    Great joke, terrible delivery.

    • @gregchick3311
      @gregchick3311 3 роки тому +16

      I like Emo's delivery, I fear he is cursed, but that is why I like him...

    • @some1unusual264
      @some1unusual264 3 роки тому +19

      The delivery and way he acts/talks is part of his act i believe

    • @davidlee4903
      @davidlee4903 3 роки тому +10

      It was perfect. Your probably an ok person, but your take on humor is atrocious.

    • @davidsandrock7826
      @davidsandrock7826 3 роки тому +5

      Ikr, my pastor told this joke last Sunday. It hit far better because he kept a normal tone and a straight face while telling it.

    • @EdwoodCA
      @EdwoodCA Рік тому +1

      A performer putting on a act??? The nerve of some people!
      Including one of the most genius of all: Andy Kaufman.
      Others: Steven Wright. Sam Kinison. Even Steve Martin [yeah, he was a stand-up comedian before being an actor. Who knew? Right? But, I digress.]

  • @silmaril9621
    @silmaril9621 3 роки тому

    Big twitchy ****er. Kind of roomie you pray you don't get. You know what I'm sayin'? 6 to 12 for armed burglary. Said he pulled hundreds of jobs...So one night like a joke, I say to him, I say, 'Yeah, Emo? Who'd you kill?' So he says...

  • @a.t.3192
    @a.t.3192 Рік тому

    The delivery sucks hard, no doubt about that, but the joke itself is perfection lol.

    • @Fummy007
      @Fummy007 Рік тому +7

      Hes delivering the joke as a character who is meant to be awkward.