OMG this was almost exactly what ourselves and another DID system were talking about yesterday. We had a really awful experience the other day which we feel ok about sharing in the comments here in the community….We dared to brave and went to a stand up comedy in the local theatre - we hadn’t been out socialising for ages let alone ‘laugh’. The comedian was v good and ‘I’ began laughing, like proper laughing which we haven’t done in I don’t know how many years. Anyway it really triggered someone deep down most likely for the reasons you have mentioned and I had an enormous struggle not to switch to a younger part. ‘I’ ended up kind of sobbing and laughing trying to mask our sobs with laughing. We then had days and days of shame both from the actual laughing I think from someone inside and then ‘I’ had shame that I couldn’t be ‘normal’ and just go to the theatre in the way those without a trauma history can. Thanks for making this and thanks to those who commented on the last video
This is so true!! When my therapist said, “You are acceptable just as you are”, I felt a searing pain and burst into tears. We were both confused by my reaction.
This makes so much sense of my day. I had a call from a manager for social housing in another city that I am trying to move to as an MDT has been found for me there. The call ended, and I am a priority on the list. Within minutes we crashed and freaked and had waves of fear and sad emotions. Tried telling everyone that we are allowed good things to happen, but it was sooooooo hard to do. This update makes so much sense of what was happening. Thank you!
We used to have really bad suicidal crashes very regularly in therapy when therapists tried to point us towards self love and acceptance 😅 Now we understand that during our trauma we were basically instructed to hate ourselves and feel guilty and wanting to move away from that felt incredibly dangerous
This is so true!! Also, you caught me off guard when you said, “Obviously, it’s extremely sad for anybody having to go through these things.” I was in ‘practical information/intellect’ mode and never think of this stuff as being ‘sad’. But when you said that, I felt from inside that somebody felt very seen in that moment. Thank you for making these videos! They help us so much. 💕
Yes! Yes! This happened when my therapist read "All the Colors of Me". I began to cry and feel seen and I couldn't control it or knew where it was coming from. That is also where pandora's box began to open so to say. ❤
This makes so much sense and is really validating. Since realizing we are a system, I’ve had these episodes while driving through or near places that I’ve had positive experiences in where we feel so happy and in pain all at the same time. It’s been really hard to make sense of it but this made a lot of things click. Definitely going to be trying to apply the ‘transmitting reassurance through layers’ thing from the last video for these moments as well. Thank you all at the CTAD clinic for being such a great and accessible resource for topics that it can be *so* hard to find resources for
This totally happens, so much so, that I've basically cut off all holiday gift giving and social events around holidays. Parts of us absolutely hate gifts because of the fear of what is expected of is next. It's terrible. But maybe we can use the info from the previous video about sending positive reassurance down the layers when we know a gift or something nice is headed our way. Thanks!
so , i hadn't watched the other video yet - haveing a bout of insomnia and troubles. This that you are talking about and i appreciate people mentioning it -Is actually the things that get me the most. I wonder if that sort of thing comes from the type of manipulation and abuse - for example the praising up to set up for gaslighting thing. It's difficult to manage, hard to trust anyone and more often than not feels like self sabotage (not being allowed to feel good)
good/positive feelings and experiences often produce this very mixed (and time shifted response), and with some positive experiences we get extreme backlash from the middle and deeper layers. in the words of Tim Robinson "i'm really crossed up". as a monoconscious, i/we've been pretty distressed by the fact that we often feel cut off from the rest of the system, but mostly from the perspective of "i can't feel them", and hadn't considered as much the impact of information not being transmitted all the way down from the front. this happened recently when i got unexpectedly seasick and this triggered emotional flashbacks to our capital T trauma which was both very unexpected and visceral. thank you so much for laying this all out like this, this context is worth around 6 months of therapy XD
Thank you so much. This explains what was happening with me yesterday. I hate compliments from strangers. I do fine with them from people I know and feel safe with but I get super angry when they say nice and positive things. I take the first one or two ok but if they keep going I get super angry and often want nothing more to do with them. It makes sense with my history. Thanks again!
A good little addendum to this It is also the frame of reference of individuals within the system and where they are cognitively and in the process of healing.
With my littles, I experience kind of the opposite too. So, I may do something that I am not interested in, but they are happy. For example, sometimes I may watch a cartoon they like and that I find quite boring, but they are super excited and very happy. Same with food, there's foods I find distasteful, but if I eat them I can feel their happiness deep inside .. It's a rumble, like the negative emotions, but these are actually positive! That's how I gauge how well I'm doing in healing them ... and they're becoming strong and happy-er, they even started fronting when we are alone and are learning to do their own stone skipping and choosing tv programs they like! 💙
Oh. My. Goodness. Wow. Thank you. This hit spots. What an add on to this morning’s (my time) video. Thank you. Thank you for your videos. And thank you to the lovely people who mention things in the comments!
Thanks so much for this update. I realise I have this happen a lot (really al lot) more with positive events than with negative events. Which is sad, because I want good things and kind words to happen, but on deeper levels of other parts within it is too hard. So often a positive event is followed by a (diffuse) state of negative emotions that can last for hours or sometimes even a day or 2. I hadn't linked the first video to this happening, but it makes sense. And now the quest for a solution...
When you started talking about positive emotions I thought you were going to talk about how positive emotions flow down through the layers, and the parts further down get to feel positive emotions without the context. I did not expect the conversation that positive emotions or a positive experience/interaction could result in a trauma response. I've heard about it before, but it's important to be reminded so we can be aware for others.
You know thats quite amazing. I had prayed over a situation I wasn't happy with the response over a specific situation. I think as usual my Lord is the great physician and is using you to help the less fortunate. Thank God for himself. & you too.
I experienced that when my family believed me and not the one who molested me. On the surface I was glad but underneath was the intense fear because I had not kept silent.
I don't have time to relearn how to disassociate again after so called healing. How can I focus on a paticular role when I have all memories all the time with all emotions? I need an unhealing if you will, to function properly. Trying to learn something new is almost impossible with distractions on the fore front. I know I'm asking for a quick fix but I don't have time.
Hello i have a question for the CTAD clinic. I am diagnosed and in treatment for DID, last week I experienced new trauma. Most of my treatment has been about my abusive childhood and adolescence. But now I experienced rape for the first time as an adult. I am terrified this means I have split off a new part. Could you make a video about how new traumas can effect DID that has mostly had trauma in childhood and early adolescence?
Wow. That makes me ask if I understand you correctly, to clarify ... that I might respond to my bf's gift in a positive way bc it goes hand in hand with memory of a similar maltreatyment that we tried to make it seem that the abuse in that moment wasn't all that terrible but it really wasn't a good experience? Or that after being happy about the gift in a few minutes I get incomfortable with impending doom feelings maybe act badly? Or is like it's x-mas your gift is exactly what you asked for letting you be very happy and ten minutes later the gift is turned on you in some way by the abuser? For instance the abuser manipulated to escalate an argument intending to ruin the joy, the gift and the giver if it wasn't them that bought the gift.? So the severity of the initial fear pain harm after the gift determines the level of the fear response behaviors or is it possible too that an alt came to be or already was aware of the original incident and (haha someone said not our first rodeo) has taken the front unnoticible to others but now being aware I would know someone else of us is protecting u again from knowing the trauma and preventing me from behaving badly but I may later become anxious fearful?
Quick question, does the following message on your website means I can't start sessions without being sent by the NHS? Does this apply if I'm located in South America? Quote: "Please Note: We are currently full for self-referrals and are only accepting ones through the NHS routes at this time."
It's kind of funny using 'individual experience' as a term, when DID/OSDD is literally a dividual experience. Even though it was understandable, since there are not that many alternate terms for a non-collective/introverted experience.
I wonder if that explains a weird phenomenom for me? Occasionally (VERY occasionally, I hasten to add!) random strangers will make some comment about me being attractive - whether that's a male customer in the shop where I work, a man at a social event or just in some sort of social interaction. I've trained myself to sort of smile and mutter a thanks, or even pretend I didn't hear it - but inside I get this wave of rage and the words "You UTTER ARSEHOLE, you think you're funny, do you? You think it's funny to take the piss out of someone you definitely DON'T find attractive by pretending you do, just to see her smile and believe you, because that's how dumb you think she is? I bet you laugh about it with your mates later, don't you - 'ha ha, I told this proper uggo she was attractive, and the dumb bint was vain enough to actually BELIEVE me!' Well, screw YOU, asshole, because I know your game and I'm onto you!" I've no idea where/which of us it comes from, and I'd never verbalise it, because obviously I'd look like some crazy person if I did! - but it's such a visceral internal response, with a huge stab of pain behind it.
@@thectadclinic it did lead to us being able to reframe that parts job from “defense” to primarily “physically remove us from the situation”. So we feel much less trapped in situations now (since we remember leaving is an option) and she feels better about her role too. And it is about to be worked on so we don’t have to get triggered by it… hopefully 😬
OMG this was almost exactly what ourselves and another DID system were talking about yesterday. We had a really awful experience the other day which we feel ok about sharing in the comments here in the community….We dared to brave and went to a stand up comedy in the local theatre - we hadn’t been out socialising for ages let alone ‘laugh’. The comedian was v good and ‘I’ began laughing, like proper laughing which we haven’t done in I don’t know how many years. Anyway it really triggered someone deep down most likely for the reasons you have mentioned and I had an enormous struggle not to switch to a younger part. ‘I’ ended up kind of sobbing and laughing trying to mask our sobs with laughing. We then had days and days of shame both from the actual laughing I think from someone inside and then ‘I’ had shame that I couldn’t be ‘normal’ and just go to the theatre in the way those without a trauma history can. Thanks for making this and thanks to those who commented on the last video
This is so true!! When my therapist said, “You are acceptable just as you are”, I felt a searing pain and burst into tears. We were both confused by my reaction.
This makes so much sense of my day. I had a call from a manager for social housing in another city that I am trying to move to as an MDT has been found for me there. The call ended, and I am a priority on the list. Within minutes we crashed and freaked and had waves of fear and sad emotions. Tried telling everyone that we are allowed good things to happen, but it was sooooooo hard to do. This update makes so much sense of what was happening. Thank you!
We used to have really bad suicidal crashes very regularly in therapy when therapists tried to point us towards self love and acceptance 😅
Now we understand that during our trauma we were basically instructed to hate ourselves and feel guilty and wanting to move away from that felt incredibly dangerous
Between this and the first video, we feel so validated. Thank you, Dr Lloyd and fellow viewers!
Wonderful!
This is so true!!
Also, you caught me off guard when you said, “Obviously, it’s extremely sad for anybody having to go through these things.” I was in ‘practical information/intellect’ mode and never think of this stuff as being ‘sad’. But when you said that, I felt from inside that somebody felt very seen in that moment.
Thank you for making these videos! They help us so much. 💕
Yes! Yes! This happened when my therapist read "All the Colors of Me". I began to cry and feel seen and I couldn't control it or knew where it was coming from. That is also where pandora's box began to open so to say. ❤
This makes so much sense and is really validating. Since realizing we are a system, I’ve had these episodes while driving through or near places that I’ve had positive experiences in where we feel so happy and in pain all at the same time. It’s been really hard to make sense of it but this made a lot of things click. Definitely going to be trying to apply the ‘transmitting reassurance through layers’ thing from the last video for these moments as well. Thank you all at the CTAD clinic for being such a great and accessible resource for topics that it can be *so* hard to find resources for
This totally happens, so much so, that I've basically cut off all holiday gift giving and social events around holidays. Parts of us absolutely hate gifts because of the fear of what is expected of is next. It's terrible. But maybe we can use the info from the previous video about sending positive reassurance down the layers when we know a gift or something nice is headed our way. Thanks!
so , i hadn't watched the other video yet - haveing a bout of insomnia and troubles. This that you are talking about and i appreciate people mentioning it -Is actually the things that get me the most. I wonder if that sort of thing comes from the type of manipulation and abuse - for example the praising up to set up for gaslighting thing. It's difficult to manage, hard to trust anyone and more often than not feels like self sabotage (not being allowed to feel good)
good/positive feelings and experiences often produce this very mixed (and time shifted response), and with some positive experiences we get extreme backlash from the middle and deeper layers. in the words of Tim Robinson "i'm really crossed up".
as a monoconscious, i/we've been pretty distressed by the fact that we often feel cut off from the rest of the system, but mostly from the perspective of "i can't feel them", and hadn't considered as much the impact of information not being transmitted all the way down from the front. this happened recently when i got unexpectedly seasick and this triggered emotional flashbacks to our capital T trauma which was both very unexpected and visceral.
thank you so much for laying this all out like this, this context is worth around 6 months of therapy XD
Thank you so much. This explains what was happening with me yesterday. I hate compliments from strangers. I do fine with them from people I know and feel safe with but I get super angry when they say nice and positive things. I take the first one or two ok but if they keep going I get super angry and often want nothing more to do with them. It makes sense with my history. Thanks again!
You are very welcome!
A good little addendum to this It is also the frame of reference of individuals within the system and where they are cognitively and in the process of healing.
With my littles, I experience kind of the opposite too. So, I may do something that I am not interested in, but they are happy. For example, sometimes I may watch a cartoon they like and that I find quite boring, but they are super excited and very happy. Same with food, there's foods I find distasteful, but if I eat them I can feel their happiness deep inside .. It's a rumble, like the negative emotions, but these are actually positive!
That's how I gauge how well I'm doing in healing them ... and they're becoming strong and happy-er, they even started fronting when we are alone and are learning to do their own stone skipping and choosing tv programs they like! 💙
Oh. My. Goodness. Wow. Thank you. This hit spots. What an add on to this morning’s (my time) video. Thank you. Thank you for your videos. And thank you to the lovely people who mention things in the comments!
You are so welcome!
I JUST started talking about this in therapy!
Thank you SO MUCH for this video, it's always a pleasure to receive knowledge from you! 😄
Great stuff!
This absolutely happens with us, even when use self-care and grounding techniques
Thanks so much for this update. I realise I have this happen a lot (really al lot) more with positive events than with negative events. Which is sad, because I want good things and kind words to happen, but on deeper levels of other parts within it is too hard. So often a positive event is followed by a (diffuse) state of negative emotions that can last for hours or sometimes even a day or 2. I hadn't linked the first video to this happening, but it makes sense. And now the quest for a solution...
This is absolutely something we experience. Thanks for touching on this. These 2 videos are so helpful for making sense of our emotions!
Glad it was helpful!
This this this! Thank you Dr Mike, as always 🙏🏻
Glad you enjoyed it!
When you started talking about positive emotions I thought you were going to talk about how positive emotions flow down through the layers, and the parts further down get to feel positive emotions without the context. I did not expect the conversation that positive emotions or a positive experience/interaction could result in a trauma response. I've heard about it before, but it's important to be reminded so we can be aware for others.
Thanks for the follow up. That's a great point.
Yes! Big Lifeproblem (or challenge)... but happenes in a non clinical Environment more often than not👍🏼
You know thats quite amazing. I had prayed over a situation I wasn't happy with the response over a specific situation. I think as usual my Lord is the great physician and is using you to help the less fortunate. Thank God for himself. & you too.
I need to go back and finish the last posting, but this sounds like exactly what I am going through right now. Thank you for the clarification.
Thank you for this. Wow.❤
I experienced that when my family believed me and not the one who molested me. On the surface I was glad but underneath was the intense fear because I had not kept silent.
This was helpful. Thank you.
Oh yes positive and negative trauma 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
This type of experience really activates one of my parts and she won’t allow one of my child parts to have close contact with our therapist.
Super helpful 🙏
I don't have time to relearn how to
disassociate again after so called healing. How can I focus on a paticular role when I have all memories all the time with all emotions?
I need an unhealing if you will, to function properly. Trying to learn something new is almost impossible with distractions on the fore front. I know I'm asking for a quick fix but I don't have time.
Hello i have a question for the CTAD clinic.
I am diagnosed and in treatment for DID, last week I experienced new trauma. Most of my treatment has been about my abusive childhood and adolescence. But now I experienced rape for the first time as an adult. I am terrified this means I have split off a new part. Could you make a video about how new traumas can effect DID that has mostly had trauma in childhood and early adolescence?
Wow. That makes me ask if I understand you correctly, to clarify ... that I might respond to my bf's gift in a positive way bc it goes hand in hand with memory of a similar maltreatyment that we tried to make it seem that the abuse in that moment wasn't all that terrible but it really wasn't a good experience? Or that after being happy about the gift in a few minutes I get incomfortable with impending doom feelings maybe act badly?
Or is like it's x-mas your gift is exactly what you asked for letting you be very happy and ten minutes later the gift is turned on you in some way by the abuser? For instance the abuser manipulated to escalate an argument intending to ruin the joy, the gift and the giver if it wasn't them that bought the gift.?
So the severity of the initial fear pain harm after the gift determines the level of the fear response behaviors or is it possible too that an alt came to be or already was aware of the original incident and (haha someone said not our first rodeo) has taken the front unnoticible to others but now being aware I would know someone else of us is protecting u again from knowing the trauma and preventing me from behaving badly but I may later become anxious fearful?
Hello mike. May I ask if there are literature related to the layering of emotions?
Quick question, does the following message on your website means I can't start sessions without being sent by the NHS? Does this apply if I'm located in South America?
Quote: "Please Note: We are currently full for self-referrals and are only accepting ones through the NHS routes at this time."
Hi, yes, we need to be prioritising NHS referrals due to demand.
OMG YES YES YES 🎉🎉🎉🎉. THANK YOU THANK YOU OR YES TERRIBLE THINGS
Dude! Yes!!!
Things that are perceived as threats often trigger positive emotions for our system because they are associated with play
It's kind of funny using 'individual experience' as a term, when DID/OSDD is literally a dividual experience. Even though it was understandable, since there are not that many alternate terms for a non-collective/introverted experience.
My Troops are seeing so many light 💡 bulb moments!
Omg positive events and feelings are so much worse to deal with
I wonder if that explains a weird phenomenom for me? Occasionally (VERY occasionally, I hasten to add!) random strangers will make some comment about me being attractive - whether that's a male customer in the shop where I work, a man at a social event or just in some sort of social interaction. I've trained myself to sort of smile and mutter a thanks, or even pretend I didn't hear it - but inside I get this wave of rage and the words "You UTTER ARSEHOLE, you think you're funny, do you? You think it's funny to take the piss out of someone you definitely DON'T find attractive by pretending you do, just to see her smile and believe you, because that's how dumb you think she is? I bet you laugh about it with your mates later, don't you - 'ha ha, I told this proper uggo she was attractive, and the dumb bint was vain enough to actually BELIEVE me!' Well, screw YOU, asshole, because I know your game and I'm onto you!" I've no idea where/which of us it comes from, and I'd never verbalise it, because obviously I'd look like some crazy person if I did! - but it's such a visceral internal response, with a huge stab of pain behind it.
This happened not to long ago. Got a compliment and it did not end well 🫣
Sorry to hear it, hope it is being worked on to feel better for you!
@@thectadclinic it did lead to us being able to reframe that parts job from “defense” to primarily “physically remove us from the situation”. So we feel much less trapped in situations now (since we remember leaving is an option) and she feels better about her role too. And it is about to be worked on so we don’t have to get triggered by it… hopefully 😬