I imagine the same problem has plagued villains like Lo Pan, Dr. Wily, Dracula, Kefka, Ganon, and plenty others. Merely being defeated somehow triggers their homes to just fall apart or explode.
You know, this was one of the greatest games ever; amazing and complex battle system, captivating story with fleshed out realistic characters, outstanding graphical work, stellar soundtrack... I could go on, but Laserdisc's Don Quixote is an amazing RPG that will shape the world of gaming forever. ...oh, my apologies, it was all a dream. Guess that's what happens when you do follow your dream, eh? Time to wake up! Also, RIP Sancho, now you can join your Ice Queen in Heaven for one awkward spirit marriage.
Don's body getting younger didn't have anything to do with the mirror, y'know... Anyone would feel younger if they started every day with an ice-cold bottle of Spirit Water(tm).
It's cute how this game was trying so hard to be deep and meaningful within its final moments. It's like they had a piece of paper with cliches written on it, and the writers were trying to squeeze in as many as they possibly could. Have a boss fight Don Quixote loses to so he can learn some sort of life lesson? Check. Kill off an important character to really up the ante? Check. Have the main character "Fight" his inner demons so he can become stronger to defeat his biggest foe? Check. Have a final conversation with the dying main baddie to tell him his ambitions were dumb and wrong all along? Check. Have the final lair collapse for no good reason other than for dramatic purposes? Check. Pull out a really stupi- I mean surprising twist at the end to try and make the players gasp in awe? Check... I guess.
That was just a cardboard cutout of Sancho one of the villagers put up so Don Quixote wouldn't feel bad about what happened to him before his dream ended. Either that, or the knife paralyzed him, since he ain't moving either way. (And no, I didn't. lol)
I think the last bit was the developers suddenly realizing that Don Quixote imagined his journey. "Oh shit, uh... make it all a dream! That's accurate to delusions, right?"
freezingicekirby I mean, how does the fact that his wife or whoever that woman is happens to look like the same one from his dreams mean it wasn't a dream? People dream about people they know all the time.
Aww shit, here I was hoping this would never end! Why couldn't it just have gone something like this: "And thus, Don Goku assembled all seven Crystal Balls and wished for a smoother ride, and Sancho back to life. Now he and Princess Bulm-cine-a are off to Namek to battle Frieza. Find out more next time, in Crystal Ball Z !"
Well this was indeed a journey in how to get interested in Don Quixote and his battles with Bobby Drake; exorcising Demon Whales; banging some NOT harlot and fighting a villain and his aspiration to fly a magical horse. Truly an adaption that captured the true essence of Don Quixote.
Aha, I knew the art style looked really familiar! Tokyo Movie Shinsa (TMS) did the animation for a lot of Animaniacs episodes, and the way they drew people in that show looks virtually identical to how they drew Don Quixote in this. I assume they had a slashed budget for this, since this came out in 1994, while the show was still airing.
I think the answer to that question might have been a double negative. She asked him "you have no desire to pursue your dreams?" so his response was "No, I have a desire to pursue my dreams." Just the clear and sensical storytelling we've come to expect from The Return of Don Quixote.
I _KNEW_ NONE OF THIS WAS REAL! The entire game was basically pushing the idea that dreams and reality are interchangeable. Although I have to wonder what the princess was doing there at the end. And the name directors use on projects they don't want their name attached to is 'Alan Smithee'.
I find it more fun to pretend that Don Quixote got black out drunk at the celebration party and had a one night stand with the princess, which she immediately regretted when she woke up in a crap shack. So the princess tried ditching him before he woke up, but had to go back for something she forgot.
After getting addicted to Spirit Water, Don Quixote found his soul mate in a fellow bottle chugging addict, Edward Carnby. Even today they continue their journey together, accompanied with invisible band playing cacophonic midi melody and banjo guitar. And boatloats of booze and spirits. *THE END*
16:43 Whoa whoa. Back the fuck up. Yasuo Otsuka, the great animation pioneer who worked alongside Hayao Miyazaki and defined the look of Green Jacket Lupin III, worked on this? His career must have been circling the drain by this point.
So, the real question is, could you slowly beat Arifanfalon in the first battle by grinding him down and well timed spirit water usage? Someone find that out please, and come back to me!
It's most likely the "even though you can clearly kill me, my health will still remain 1 HP no matter what you'll do" kind of thing. That, or a sequence broken cutscene.
In any other game I would agree with you on the getting to 1hp but not dying thing. But I get the feeling they would have fucked that up and let you kill him in this game but it would still end with you handing him the balls as if you lost.
Well, this has certainly been one of my favorite recent Wrongpuraes! So often, just the right amount of absurdity to riff on, and mechanically subpar. Now I have to wonder what will come next? Maybe someday, the completion of King's Quest VII video series?
7:50- Wait, is there a glitch in the game? Where is she? Unless maybe they're finally following the book now and all this stuff really is imaginary. 10:05- Oh, she was behind the wall he was looking at. With how limited the animations are, it was a little hard to tell.
You know, the full title of the game is Don Quixote: A Dream in Seven Crystals. I suppose we should have known it was a dream all along. (Or... was it?) And that after the baddie had six crystals, there was one extra one. According to the only gamefaqs on this game, they way to beat your reflection is to just push the up button instead of fighting, which I'm sure has some deep meaning...
Yeah I say. My daughter asked me to help her with a book report on Don Quixote. Now I haven't ever read those books, but I bet if I assist by basing the report off this game, she's guaranteed to pass!
I might not be familiar with the source material, but I'd imagine that even if I was, I'd still have equally zero idea as to what the hell just happened.
TMS Entertainment? I thought there was something familiar about the weird animation. They're the group also behind Little Nemo, Adventures in Slumberland (1989) movie.
TMS? Oh god... The studio that made Lupin III, Gigantor (as it's known in the US of A), Detective Conan.... Well, Toei was involved with stuff like Road Blaster/Avenger (it's one or the other depending on the country where the game was sold), I can't be too mad at something like this, it was standard fare for Japanese animation studios in the '90s. Although at least Road Blaster was worth a laugh with all the wacky stuff that was going on in it... This Quixote thing is just head-scratching.
I owned a LaserActive back in the 90s and this was one of about 5 games I had. And it was, by far, the worst of the 5. Happy someone finally played it so I can watch without all the miseray of playing.
Why do Video Game Villians rig their castles up to be destroyed when Defeated? Do they put Dynamite under the castle and secretly have a trigger on them? Also the Princess is Shia Lebouf.
They could have just made their weird Don Quixote anime fanfic as a straight-up movie, but nooooooo, grinding weird RPG battles with ZERO sense of stats or strats will REALLY made the player care about the lives of six-dozen NPCs plus a princess we've never met! This is one of those times where the IDEA was kind of neat, and even a couple of the presentation bits could have been fun, but the execution was just terrible. I wonder if there's more to the story of how this game was made beyond "on a budget?"
Welp, this game exists. It was kind of weird, otherwise there's nothing it really has going for it. Could we even call this an RPG? Was there any stats beyond equipment? Maybe the laserdisc wasn't strong enough to do a whole lot of action and that's why the turn based battles?
Dang you guys are still doing Retsuprae? Man that's a throwback to the the fuckin last decade.You guys sound like you're taking SSRIs or some shit. Oh well I'mma check it out peace
![D: It's Also What We Rate This Game [Part 1]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/epItsaKPjtU/mqdefault.jpg)
![D: It's Also What We Rate This Game [Part 1]](/img/tr.png)
"Age has no bearing on dreams! Dreams exceed all time barriers!"
The game's really sending mixed signals here by turning Don Quixote younger.
Arafanfalon's castle collapsed because he died, like many load bearing villains before him.
What happens if Arafanfalon has to leave the castle for groceries or to collect taxes? Do they have to rebuild every time he leaves?
I imagine the same problem has plagued villains like Lo Pan, Dr. Wily, Dracula, Kefka, Ganon, and plenty others. Merely being defeated somehow triggers their homes to just fall apart or explode.
"What a bunch of rubbish!" This game riffs itself better than I ever could.
15:44
That horse is just like "Fuck yeah, you know you want this."
You know, this was one of the greatest games ever; amazing and complex battle system, captivating story with fleshed out realistic characters, outstanding graphical work, stellar soundtrack... I could go on, but Laserdisc's Don Quixote is an amazing RPG that will shape the world of gaming forever.
...oh, my apologies, it was all a dream. Guess that's what happens when you do follow your dream, eh? Time to wake up! Also, RIP Sancho, now you can join your Ice Queen in Heaven for one awkward spirit marriage.
But will Frosty be there??
Nick Farmer
I don't think Sancho likes bestiality, but then again I don't know how this Quixote Dream Arc goes...
Is sancho really dead? If it's a dream he not dead, or never existed.
But if it's not a dream, he was in the crowd looking fine.
Niku Driver HC I swear this is the transcript to an unreleased navigatr review.
Sancroomie
But it's missing Star Wars references and everything, can I really agree with your bold statement?
To dream the impossible dream
To play the unplayable game
To bear with unbearable boredom
To LP bad games without shame
Don't Regrets Play the Let's Play. Thanks Billy MC for such wise words.
Don's body getting younger didn't have anything to do with the mirror, y'know... Anyone would feel younger if they started every day with an ice-cold bottle of Spirit Water(tm).
It's cute how this game was trying so hard to be deep and meaningful within its final moments. It's like they had a piece of paper with cliches written on it, and the writers were trying to squeeze in as many as they possibly could.
Have a boss fight Don Quixote loses to so he can learn some sort of life lesson? Check.
Kill off an important character to really up the ante? Check.
Have the main character "Fight" his inner demons so he can become stronger to defeat his biggest foe? Check.
Have a final conversation with the dying main baddie to tell him his ambitions were dumb and wrong all along? Check.
Have the final lair collapse for no good reason other than for dramatic purposes? Check.
Pull out a really stupi- I mean surprising twist at the end to try and make the players gasp in awe? Check... I guess.
sancho didn't die, didn't you look in the crowd when they flew past, he was in there.
That was just a cardboard cutout of Sancho one of the villagers put up so Don Quixote wouldn't feel bad about what happened to him before his dream ended.
Either that, or the knife paralyzed him, since he ain't moving either way.
(And no, I didn't. lol)
Basically the much more mundane version of Cecil becomes a paladin.
I think the last bit was the developers suddenly realizing that Don Quixote imagined his journey. "Oh shit, uh... make it all a dream! That's accurate to delusions, right?"
freezingicekirby I mean, how does the fact that his wife or whoever that woman is happens to look like the same one from his dreams mean it wasn't a dream? People dream about people they know all the time.
Aww shit, here I was hoping this would never end! Why couldn't it just have gone something like this:
"And thus, Don Goku assembled all seven Crystal Balls and wished for a smoother ride, and Sancho back to life. Now he and Princess Bulm-cine-a are off to Namek to battle Frieza.
Find out more next time, in Crystal Ball Z !"
Well, they gotta use the Namek dragon balls to revive Frosty! And I guess also bring back Yamcha the Ice Princess...
And the Super Crystal Ball comes out and they befriend a cat.
Just a normal cat, don't get excited now.
9:15
* "I'll face myself" starts playing *
Diego M So now he's a persona user
Sancho's his persona.
Wow, even as far as "It was all a dream" endings, that still blew.
Well this was indeed a journey in how to get interested in Don Quixote and his battles with Bobby Drake; exorcising Demon Whales; banging some NOT harlot and fighting a villain and his aspiration to fly a magical horse.
Truly an adaption that captured the true essence of Don Quixote.
Aha, I knew the art style looked really familiar! Tokyo Movie Shinsa (TMS) did the animation for a lot of Animaniacs episodes, and the way they drew people in that show looks virtually identical to how they drew Don Quixote in this. I assume they had a slashed budget for this, since this came out in 1994, while the show was still airing.
Late Night with Jimmy Arafanfalon.
The final boss who's really obviously reading his cue cards
The head programmer is named _Goto_? That's not a good sign...
I think the answer to that question might have been a double negative. She asked him "you have no desire to pursue your dreams?" so his response was "No, I have a desire to pursue my dreams." Just the clear and sensical storytelling we've come to expect from The Return of Don Quixote.
It's Alan Smithee, not Adam Mitchell
Also, 100 peseta is not a lot of money.
I want to appreciate the fact that someone, somewhere, played this game in their youth when this was new
7:00 Oh, phew, and here I thought the game was going to be way more accurate to the book! Glad that was taken care of.
So what would happen if you beat Arifalfala in that first fight? With all that Spirit Water you have, you'd probably be able to beat him...
I _KNEW_ NONE OF THIS WAS REAL! The entire game was basically pushing the idea that dreams and reality are interchangeable. Although I have to wonder what the princess was doing there at the end.
And the name directors use on projects they don't want their name attached to is 'Alan Smithee'.
I find it more fun to pretend that Don Quixote got black out drunk at the celebration party and had a one night stand with the princess, which she immediately regretted when she woke up in a crap shack. So the princess tried ditching him before he woke up, but had to go back for something she forgot.
+wingsofhope2
That's the only way this game can make sense, so let's go with that.
After getting addicted to Spirit Water, Don Quixote found his soul mate in a fellow bottle chugging addict, Edward Carnby.
Even today they continue their journey together, accompanied with invisible band playing cacophonic midi melody and banjo guitar. And boatloats of booze and spirits.
*THE END*
I don't know if anyone realized this, pesetas as a currency is just an imitation of the currency mesetas from Phantasy Star.
16:43 Whoa whoa. Back the fuck up. Yasuo Otsuka, the great animation pioneer who worked alongside Hayao Miyazaki and defined the look of Green Jacket Lupin III, worked on this? His career must have been circling the drain by this point.
I think maybe it wasn't all a dream.
I can't believe the mirror clone wasn't named Dark Quixote. Why even bother making the game when you CLEARLY aren't going to put in any effort?
Sancho's art and animation reminds me of something. Chip 'n Dale's Rescue Rangers maybe?
In the end it was all a dream Dan Quiote had about the tax collection lady who he had a crush on.
Speaking of which, I wonder if there's a "Dan Quiote XXX porn parody" in the works? After all, Overwatch got one, why not Don Quixote?
DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE... uh, this.
So, the real question is, could you slowly beat Arifanfalon in the first battle by grinding him down and well timed spirit water usage? Someone find that out please, and come back to me!
It's most likely the "even though you can clearly kill me, my health will still remain 1 HP no matter what you'll do" kind of thing. That, or a sequence broken cutscene.
In any other game I would agree with you on the getting to 1hp but not dying thing. But I get the feeling they would have fucked that up and let you kill him in this game but it would still end with you handing him the balls as if you lost.
*seven years later
Gotta hand it to the game, all the enemies are unique and not palette swap.
Remember, Don Quixote: follow your (budget).
Does Arifanfanalfonafonalon just lounge around the house wearing full plate armor?
This part may hold some of the steepest stairs Don Quixote's horse has ever traversed.
Well, this has certainly been one of my favorite recent Wrongpuraes! So often, just the right amount of absurdity to riff on, and mechanically subpar.
Now I have to wonder what will come next? Maybe someday, the completion of King's Quest VII video series?
"Dreams are eternal"
I didn't know Sonic Adventure 2 was inspired by this game.
Animaniac190 Nights Into Dreams are eternal.
linguicaguy Oh, right. It's "wishes are eternal" but that might as well be the same thing.
So maybe in Don's third game he'll fight the Biolizard?
Don's voice actor is fucking magnificent I gotta give the game that at least.
CRYSTAL BALL!
GOTTA FIND THAT CRYSTAL BALL!
DON'T STOP UNTIL YOU GOT EM ALL, THE 7 MAGIC BALLS!
IT'S ALL YOU GOTTA DO TO HAVE YOUR WISH COME TRUE!
At 15:02 "CHAOS....CONTROL!"
The battle music is so mind-numbing
Of course Beef remembers the kid with the bug catching net. That was the kid that Beef said sounded like Betus.
7:50- Wait, is there a glitch in the game? Where is she? Unless maybe they're finally following the book now and all this stuff really is imaginary.
10:05- Oh, she was behind the wall he was looking at. With how limited the animations are, it was a little hard to tell.
You know, the full title of the game is Don Quixote: A Dream in Seven Crystals. I suppose we should have known it was a dream all along. (Or... was it?) And that after the baddie had six crystals, there was one extra one. According to the only gamefaqs on this game, they way to beat your reflection is to just push the up button instead of fighting, which I'm sure has some deep meaning...
That was a massive ending credits, and what was that, like 7 companies made this? None of them said no.
Can't say I was expecting a Dark Knight Don Quixote fight. Where are his Paladin powers?
I think that was what the Crystal of Dreams was supposed to be; it was supposed to just magically appear and the villain couldn't get it.
Man this game is so awesome
It perfectly blurs the line between dreams and reality and I learned something
Yeah I say. My daughter asked me to help her with a book report on Don Quixote. Now I haven't ever read those books, but I bet if I assist by basing the report off this game, she's guaranteed to pass!
Speaking of "didn't want their name on this," absolutely NO voice acting credits. But I really wanted to know who played Bug Net Kid...
Strangest thing is, I'm currently reading Cervante's novel of Don Quixote right now! I'm almost done with Part 1.
I want to think the whole story actually did happen, just not in the exact way Quixote remembers it because he was on a huge bender the whole time.
I might not be familiar with the source material, but I'd imagine that even if I was, I'd still have equally zero idea as to what the hell just happened.
16:46 "Remember the bread lady, and the girl with the basket, and me."
TMS Entertainment? I thought there was something familiar about the weird animation. They're the group also behind Little Nemo, Adventures in Slumberland (1989) movie.
TMS? Oh god... The studio that made Lupin III, Gigantor (as it's known in the US of A), Detective Conan....
Well, Toei was involved with stuff like Road Blaster/Avenger (it's one or the other depending on the country where the game was sold), I can't be too mad at something like this, it was standard fare for Japanese animation studios in the '90s. Although at least Road Blaster was worth a laugh with all the wacky stuff that was going on in it... This Quixote thing is just head-scratching.
TMS on a small budget and without a ton of time, I imagine.
To be fair it looks like they tried their best.. considering the source material and the bizarre format.
I owned a LaserActive back in the 90s and this was one of about 5 games I had. And it was, by far, the worst of the 5. Happy someone finally played it so I can watch without all the miseray of playing.
11:19 That pretty much sums up the entire game.
Notice how in the "spanish unit" there is a severe lack of spanish names...
i'll have you know kirara and arifanfalan are perfectly normal spanish names
Yamashita clearly is a name native from spain.
And Ali Seriak Echaib is a time-traveller from Moorish Spain.
By "spanish unit" they likely meant the Peseta (which, of course, wasn't even correct for the time period depicted).
The animation was weirdly really good at times. I still have no idea what was going on at any given time.
Wow. Is it the sound or does the villain sound....bored?
Someone should make a YTP with the games cutscenes.
I would definetely watch it
11:19 The most relatable character in this game.
"Stop dreaming about me, you old perv."
I'm still waiting on Policenauts, but that, my friends, is to dream the impossible dream.
"The night, and the dream were long..."
Is it me, or is Betus slowly turning into Tom Servo?
I don't know what to do, post Don Quixote.
Well... That explained everything
So basically this game is just Super Mario Bros. 2.
So uh....you fellas still might do Phantasmagoria 2 some day...? :P
The Return of Don Quixote: Liberties Taken
And thus, Don Quixote created MLP by throwing the Elements of Harmony and creating Diet Celestia...much to the chagrin of the internet.
Princess Luna Well there isn't Zero Luna to compensate so your lucky in that regard
So I am assuming it was sancho fault for that Season 3 episode that split the fandom.
NatsumeHack Well, someone needs to be blamed.
Why do Video Game Villians rig their castles up to be destroyed when Defeated? Do they put Dynamite under the castle and secretly have a trigger on them? Also the Princess is Shia Lebouf.
It's like the dead man's fail-deadly on Ted's dynamite
Don Quixote went super saiyan, but backwards.
You mean he's not quite Super Don Quixote yet?
Not as super as his other form. :3
That was certainly more loyal to the original than Super Don Quixote...
...by default.
Baby Quixote goes around kicking pinwheels at parks
17:13
Ah, my favourite part. Don Quixote passing a stone.
so all the money for this game went to the battle animations dident it
So... Video games, huh?
wow, what a.... twist?
so this was just some japanese guy's way of getting a trip to spain, wasn't it?
I love that the chief programmer was named GOTO.
The formatting of the credits makes it look like no one worked on the animation.
They could have just made their weird Don Quixote anime fanfic as a straight-up movie, but nooooooo, grinding weird RPG battles with ZERO sense of stats or strats will REALLY made the player care about the lives of six-dozen NPCs plus a princess we've never met!
This is one of those times where the IDEA was kind of neat, and even a couple of the presentation bits could have been fun, but the execution was just terrible. I wonder if there's more to the story of how this game was made beyond "on a budget?"
The ending is confusing. It was a dream but why is the princess there?
Devil Soldier and Rock Knight should go on tour.
What the fuck, a pegasus
This is the only credit on imdb for Sakura kanji
5:07 - I imagine Don Quixote saying this.
Don Quixote: Crystal Ball Z🔮 Don Quixote Trigger
I swear the end castle music is like from Might and Magic 4-5 World of Xeen!
I still don't understand this game's combat system, do enemies randomly not take damage because their armor is better?
Michael M. No kidding, we never had a notion of stats or how one weapons made a difference or if there were levels or anything that would of helped
It's a very simple formula of "Enemies take damage when they feel like it."
Another game like Super Don Quixote?
Wait how did Sancho survived?
Sancho can't get a break.
Arinfalan's Calypso impression sucks, btw.
The one consistent thing across all Don Quixote adaptations: Sancho getting owned.
I'M AM ARINFALAN AND I THANK YOU FOR PLAYING DON QUIXOTE!
Let us joust. With CARS. *Twisted Metal: The Medievil* (yes, a double reference -_-)
Klarden
Sir Dan.
Klarden So that's the person that was supposed to get that car named White Knight they cancelled: Don Quixote!
It all makes sense now.
This game had quite a Cobra vibe. I liked the enemies more then the hero.
Since there is nothing to do but attack and heal, do you get softlocked if you just drink all of your spirit and knigths water?
Sakura Kanji, Author of the Quixote
It was not only a dream, but based on the sperm-looking sword swipes, it was a wet dream.
15:56 FUCKING CALLED IT
Welp, this game exists. It was kind of weird, otherwise there's nothing it really has going for it. Could we even call this an RPG? Was there any stats beyond equipment? Maybe the laserdisc wasn't strong enough to do a whole lot of action and that's why the turn based battles?
I was all a dream , the lamest ending ever
Dang you guys are still doing Retsuprae? Man that's a throwback to the the fuckin last decade.You guys sound like you're taking SSRIs or some shit. Oh well I'mma check it out peace